#just 100% gives in as the path of least resistance

[beginningofwonderland]

Stay Focused - San

Pairing: university student y/n x office worker San

Genre: smut with plot (MINORS DNI!)

Word Count: 12.5k (I don't know what happened)

Summary: Your mother insists on getting you a tutor for your studies. You want to resist until you meet Choi San, your tutor. His sweet talk and good looks make you focus on anything but your studies and you do everything to finally catch his attention in the same way.

Warnings: San is a few years older (5 to be exact), some nipple play, fingering, some orgasm denial, lots of dirty talk, blowjob (face-fucking leaning), protected sex, mirror sex

The reader in this is so horny omg. Just straight up trash for San (relatable). Also very long build-up.

"Good is not enough in this family," your mother repeats to you for what feels like the 100th time. „Your grades have to be exceptional if you want to work in my business."

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you change your phone to the other hand to stir your pasta around. You just told her about your recent test results which of course are not satisfactory to her.

The problem is that you are actually doing pretty good. You never missed or failed a class, you passed all your courses with at least a good score and you had even fulfilled additional classes to broaden the spectrum of your studies. But just like she said: Good is not enough for her. She won't shut up about your grades until you reach 100% in all of your classes - which is basically impossible, especially in your field of study.

"Do you even still want to work in the family business?" your mother asks you provokingly. And the problem is, you do. You really do. Your mother is the CEO of a big pharmacy company and ever since you were a kid you followed her interest in chemistry. You even chose your pharmacy major without her influence. But now that you are taking the same path as her, she is all in your business about being the perfect little mini-her.

"I do, mom. I'm working hard on it, I promise. The next exam is in four weeks and I already started studying."

She makes a huffing sound before answering you: "You said that the last three times as well and still didn't get a full score. You should really get a tutor."

"Mom! I'm the best in my class. Why should I get a tutor? I'm doing great!" You are glad you're only talking to her on the phone so that she doesn't see the way your hands clasps over your face. She can't be serious with you. Getting a tutor with your grades is just embarrassing.

"But not great enough. You know what? The son of a close business partner recently started working at the company. He graduated a few years ago with an honour's degree and seems to be a very promising young man. I'll ask him to tutor you."

Your cheeks start to heat up just at the thought of how embarrassing the whole thing will be for you. Getting a tutor that worked for your mother is literally the worst case scenario. You feel like a high school student that doesn't pay attention in school and now gets scolded for it.

"I do not need a tutor, mom." You state once again but her mind is already made up.

"I'll give him your number and he will contact you. And don't you dare be rude to him, his father is very important for our business!"

You can't believe her words. Since when have you ever been rude to anyone she introduced you to? Your mother ends the call before you can protest any more.

Angrily, you fish a single spaghetti out of your pot to taste it. It's perfectly cooked when you munch on it in annoyance.

--------------------------------

This is Choi San.

Your mother told me you needed tutoring on your pharmacy classes and gave me your schedule.

I can teach you Tuesday and Thursday afternoon from 6PM. Would that work for you?

You fall back onto bed with a frustrated groan as you read the messages. She really asked him. Now you have no choice but agree to him tutoring you because your mother would kill you otherwise.

Typing a reply you take a deep breath. This will be such a waste of time for the both of you.

Hello! Tuesdays and Thursdays are good. Thank you so much.

You hate how pathetic you sound. What are you even thanking him for? You don't want him to tutor you and he was definitely forced by your mother so why even play pretend?

No problem. We can use meeting room 117 at the company since I reserved it for us. I'll see you on Tuesday.

You dread Tuesday every single day from now on. When it finally arrives you feel ridiculous as you enter the large building of your mother's company. You have been here countless times but you never thought you would get tutor lessons here.

Even worse is that your mother made you go greet her beforehand. She specifically texted you to visit her office before the appointment with Mr. Choi. You walk past her assistant with a polite greeting and finally enter her office.

The luxurious room sat at the top floor of the building with a nice view over the city. Sometimes you forget how successful her company actually is. It can be quiet intimidating.

"There you are," she greets you with a mere look up from a bunch of files on her desk. "I hope you prepared well for your tutoring session. Please don't embarrass yourself in front of Mr. Choi. His father is an important business partner of mine and he himself seems to be a very promising employee. I don't want my own daughter to make him think worse of the company."

Of course she only worries about the company. The idea that this is incredibly humiliating for her own daughter does not even cross her mind.

"Hello, mom. Of course I prepared well, I always do. I won't disappoint you."

She nods at you, satisfied with your answer before looking at her watch. "Then you should head to the meeting room. He is always ridiculously early for meetings so he's probably waiting for you already."

Great, you think to yourself. You hoped you would be able to grab a coffee beforehand.

"I'll go right away. Bye, mom."

You walk to the elevator with heavy steps and check your own watch. It's still fifteen minutes until 6PM so there's plenty of time to grab a coffee before, no matter what your mother might say.

Entering the elevator you select the floor of the meeting room with the plan to walk to the coffee pantry first. Half-way down, the elevator stops on a different floor. When the doors open you almost choke on your polite "Hello" as your eyes take in the person in front of you.

Walking into the elevator is easily the most attractive man you have ever seen in your life. Dressed in a tight pair of dark pants and a perfectly fitted dress-shirt the handsome stranger repeats your greeting with a small bow and a mind-numbingly attractive smile. His eyes carry a little glimmer even behind the round pair of glasses he wears and as he pushes back his black hair you feel like swooning.

You have to keep yourself from staring when he takes his place in the elevator and both of you wait for it to move. Just now you realize he hasn't pushed a button, which means he is heading to the same floor as you. Out of the corner of your eyes you can't help but watch him.

He is a few inches taller than you but appears even bigger due to his broad frame. You wonder where that man even finds clothes that fit his stature with his broad shoulders and tiny waist. He checks his most definitely expensive wrist watch before looking at the display counting down the floors.

When the elevator doors open with a ding, you almost jolt. You were so caught up in thinking about how good he looks that you didn't even notice arriving on your floor. The handsome man gestures for you to step out first with another deadly smile in your direction.

"Thank you," you barely breath out as you step out of the elevator in front of him. It feels like the air outside is ten degrees colder. Without looking back you head to the pantry of the floor. You need a coffee even more than before now that you can only think of that guy from the elevator. There is no way you can concentrate on tutoring now without some caffeine.

The benefit of being the CEO's daughter is having a card with unlimited access to the coffee machines so you happily press the button for a black coffee. At the familiar buzzing sound you can finally relax and take a deep breath. No man has ever made you so flustered before just by existing. Maybe you should visit the office more often if that was the kind of employees your mother hired.

Taking your coffee into one hand and your study bag into the other you turn around to head to the meeting room. Caught up deeply in your thoughts you almost run head first into the person behind you.

"Woah, careful there. You don't want to spill that coffee do you?" his voice is smooth like honey, with a joking tone to it. You blink up at him a few times before you find your words.

"I'm sorry. I was distracted."

The man from the elevator smiles at you and you feel your body warming up from the inside out.

"Don't worry, nothing happened." He looks you up and down quickly before holding eye contact once again.

"Excuse the question, but do you happen to be director Kim's daughter?"

You stare at him in confusion. "Yes. Yes, I am. How did you know?"

He moves past you, grabbing a cup from the pantry himself and turning on the coffee machine before he answers:

"You share her eyes. But more importantly, your bag has a pin of the pharmacy faculty of the university and because I'm supposed to meet her daughter for tutoring on this floor in - " he checks his watch again: "exactly 12 minutes, I figured it might be you."

You are impressed. His looks are already enough to have your eyes turn into hearts but there is probably nothing that makes a man more attractive to you than his wit. But what hits you even more than that is the fact that THIS was your tutor.

I take everything back mom, I love tutoring. Sign me up for another year.

"Well, you figured correctly," you reply weakly, at a loss for words. "Nice to meet you Mr. Choi."

You put your cup on the pantry table to reach your hand out to him. He takes it with a smile.

"Nice to meet you too, Miss Kim. I was going to get the two of us some coffee but as I can see you already helped yourself."

Oh, so he's a gentleman as well.

"Next time you should let me take care of that," you said showing him your free access card. "I happen to own the key to infinite coffee."

"Does the caffeine addiction come for free with that as well?" You chuckle at his joke.

"I think it's the requirement to get it in the first place."

"Well then I will happily let you get us coffee next time."

Next time, you think. The reality that you will be seeing this man on a regular basis hits you.

For a second the two of you just smile at each other. Then Mr. Choi notices that his coffee is done and he grabs the cup.

"Let's head to the meeting room then. I wouldn't want to waste your time."

You sir, can waste my time any day of the week, you think to yourself but obviously keep silent as you follow him to the room.

He holds the door open for you and you settle down onto one of the meeting chairs. You always hated these things. They are designed to make you sit upright and therefore terribly uncomfortable. You desperately want to fold one of your legs under yourself like you always do at home but you have a good image to keep. After taking a seat across from you he puts his bag onto the table and looks at you expectantly.

"So what topics exactly are you struggling with? It's been a while for me but I'm sure I can help."

"To be honest with you, I don't really need help on anything."

San raises his eyebrows behind the round glasses on his nose. "What do you mean?"

You sigh, not knowing how to explain this dilemma best. "My mother made me get a tutor because she believes I need better grades. In fact I'm the best of my year with perfect attendance and an average of 95%. She says that everything under 100% is not enough which is why she must have thought of you as a tutor."

San just stares at you with a peculiar look on his face. He looks almost impressed from your words.

"I knew director Kim could be quite strict but I had never imagined that extent. I'm sorry she made you do this, a 95% average is very impressive in the pharmacy field."

"Says someone with a perfect 100% graduation," you snap back, a little more spiteful than you want to. But San doesn't seem to take it the wrong way. Instead he chuckles in response. The sound sends shivers down your spine, his voice dipping way lower than you had expected it could.

"Trust me, that wasn't all brains. I only know my way around people." You don't doubt that last statement for even a second.

"Maybe instead of teaching I can give you some tips around the university. That would probably help you more."

Now you are interested.

"What kind of tips for example?" You lean forward resting an elbow on the table as you pick your cup of coffee up for a sip. It's still burning hot but you pretend you didn't just burn your tongue as you set it back down.

"Does Mr. Han still do the medicine lectures? He's been using the same exam template for years. Pharmacy students are just to selfish to share the results with the younger students. I'll look for my old exams later to give them to you."

Your mouth opens in awe. Everyone from the year above had told you Mr Han's exams were the hardest and it turns out they were just lying to intimidate you. The competition was real.

"These fuckers," you mumble beneath your breath but judging by his chuckle, San heard you just fine.

"Sorry," you excuse your language immediately with a small nod. He is still an employee under your mother and she told you explicitly to act well around him. Hiding your uneasiness you go for another scolding sip of coffee.

"Don't worry, darling. I won't go complaining to your mother about your language. You don't need to be her perfect little girl for me."

You almost choke on your coffee and have to force the liquid down your throat with an effort. You really wish they didn't but his words made your insides squirm. The amount of money you'd pay him to call you 'darling' again is surely an embarrassing amount. But good little girl also didn't sound too bad from his mouth.

"Thanks," you mumble, not knowing what else to say and stare onto the table to hide your flushing face. If you look at him with those slutty, round glasses right now, you're sure you'll combust.

You don't notice, but Mr. Choi eyes you up and down carefully before he resumes speaking. He smiles at your flustered state that obviously doesn't escape his sharp senses. Seeing your pretty face flush from only these few words, satisfies him deeply.

"Then how about that toxicology class? If Mr. Lim still teaches it, I know a few ways to get on his good side. He always picks favourites and it shows in the grades."

Mr. Choi continues listing off ways to better your grades around your professors. You can't help but be impressed. Not only is he obviously very intelligent but also great with people. Maybe what kept you from exceeding in your studies was your rather reserved nature in class.

"How about this," Mr. Choi finally proposes after teaching you some of his ways. "I'll get you my old notes and exams and with that you will surely ace all your tests. Then we can meet up for these tutoring sessions and while you study in peace I can get some work done. This way your mother is happy and we both profit from the situation."

You nod without hesitation. "That sounds like a great idea. Thank you so much, Mr. Choi."

He groans at your words, a sound that makes you react in a way you don't even want to put into words.

"Please don't call me Mr. Choi when we're alone that makes me feel terribly old. My name is San."

"Aren't you older than me though?" you ask back carefully. It doesn't feel right to call him by his first name.

"If 5 years are old to you?" he inquires with a slight teasing edge to his voice. You don't know if he's flirting with you or if you are just becoming a witness to this man's effortless social skills.

Truthfully, you are 22 and 5 years more don't seem that much to you. Still his way with words and the confident aura around him make him seem more mature.

"I didn't say old. Just older."

He rolls his eyes at your stubbornness, leisurely resting one of his elbows on the backrest behind him. "Just call me San, darling."

There it is again. That word single-handedly turns you into a blushing mess within seconds and you find yourself agreeing without another thought.

"Okay, San."

A satisfied smile spreads on his face and you marvel at the dimples that form on his cheeks. "Much better. Than how about you do some studying and I'll get some work done now?"

"Sounds good," you reply and start taking out your classwork. He could've told you to start stripping right now and you would've agreed without question. Damn you are down bad for him already...

It is a weird situation at first. You are used to studying around strangers in the library, but sitting alone in a room with San makes it hard to focus on your upcoming test. His eyes keep flicking from his work laptop across to you and you don't know if he's interest in the topic you're studying or you.

You yourself on the other hand are surely interested in him and you can't help but steal a few glances at him working diligently at his laptop every now and then. Even typing on his keyboard looks ridiculously hot on him with the way his slender fingers run over the keys.

After about two hours of you trying to keep your eyes on your notes San finally closes his laptop and stares at you until you reciprocate his look.

"I guess two hours is enough to make your mother think you studied, right?" he asks with one corner of his mouth slightly lifted.

"Sure," you respond weakly.

"I'll look for my old tests and will bring them on Thursday," he goes on as he stands up to pack up his laptop and bag. You also start gathering your study books.

"Thank you again," you answer lamely. But the promise of already seeing him again on Thursday excites you.

When you proceed to grab your now empty coffee cup his hands react quickly as he snatches it from you.

"Don't worry about that, I'll put those away," he's leaning over the table now, smiling at you through slightly closed eyes and you can't help but be entranced by his looks. "You should make sure to get home before it's dark outside. Want you to get home safely."

"Don't worry about me, I'll manage."

"Oh but I won't if something happens to you and your mother finds out you were last seen with me," he replies cockily as you two finally go to the door.

You have to chuckle at his remark. "Good to know I'm not the only one terrified of her."

"Everyone is terrified of her," he mumbles under his breath but you are already reaching the coffee pantry - aka your cue to go home.

"Can we use the same room on Thursday?" you ask as you stop in front of him. You make sure to brush your hair behind your ear in a nonchalant manner, knowing it shows your good angles.

"Yeah, I already booked it," San replies easily, eyes fixing yours from above. "But let's meet at the coffee machine here. I want to at least take advantage of that free coffee if I give you all my study secrets."

He winks at you at the last part of the sentence and it makes your insides twirl like on a rollercoaster. You give him a small smile through fluttering lashes. "So that's what you meant with a win-win situation: Endless coffee. Well it looks like I don't have a choice but to be your personal coffee machine."

You want to punch yourself right after that sentence leaves your mouth. How much more stupid could you possibly sound? Personal coffee machine. Saying you wanted to be his personal slut would have been less embarrassing.

But San doesn't seem to mind your awkward response. "Sounds good to me," he replies smoothly. "Then have a good ride home and I'll see you on Thursday."

"Until Thursday," you reply before you can say something stupid again and stroll off to the elevator with a small wave.

As soon as the doors close behind you, your head thumps against the steel wall. There is no way you will get any studying done with that man in the same room as you.

---------------------

Your next few meetings with San go on smoothly. You are always on time but he is still earlier than you, waiting for you at the coffee machine. You get both of you a coffee - sometimes two if you feel like it - and you two get to work in a comfortable silence sitting opposite to each other in the meeting room.

After San brought you his old exams you can now prepare exactly what you need to know for your next tests. But no matter how hard you try to focus on your studies, your eyes keep wandering from your books up to the handsome man working on his laptop.

You soon notice his seemingly endless closet full of tailored dressing shirts and perfectly matching pants. He always looks immaculate, not a single wrinkle on his shirt and his hair always neatly combed back. Even his skin is flawless to the point that you start questioning if Choi San might be a figment of your imagination.

Just like his outer appearance, his manners are immaculate. Like you already noticed on your first meeting, he is a sweet talker. Always knowing the right thing to say and never letting your conversation end in awkwardness.

Whenever he feels like taking a break you notice him starting to talk to you. At first he asks how your studies are going. Then he wanders off to the professors you two shared and how he managed to ace all his classes.

Your whole attention is glued to his lips. For one thing because the information he can provide you with is crucial to your academic development but much more importantly because his lips are the prettiest thing you have ever seen. They look so plump and smooth while he's talking that your mind can't help but wander to the other things he might be able to do with them besides talking.

If at your first meeting you were down bad for Choi San, one month later you felt like you were drowning and he was the last bit of oxygen left on earth. You wanted him with a passion that you didn't even know you were capable of.

But you couldn't have him. There was too much at stake. He still worked for your mother and if you made a move on him that he wouldn't reciprocate you would risk the eternal hate of the only woman that still held control over your life. And so far San hadn't shown any sign of feeling the same way about you that you did for him.

„You're stuck on that?" San suddenly asks you over the page of biochemistry that you've been staring at for a solid five minutes. You haven't spared a single thought on the topic in front of you. Your mind is only occupied by the thought of San leaning over you on the meeting chair, your chin in between his slender fingers as he smirks down at you. You hate him for having this effect on you when you so desperately need to focus on your studies.

You really need to get your thoughts together.

„Oh no I was just getting carried away," you answer, looking at him pointedly with a sly smile.

You tried little attacks like this on him before. A casual pull down of your shirt, stretching your arms to make it ride up over your stomach or even looking directly at his lips as he spoke. But no matter how daring you get you can never catch San slipping.

His eyes stay on yours only whenever he looks at you, his tone is always polite and never goes farther than a casual joke. You simply can't draw a single reaction from him and it drives you insane.

„Do you need a small break? We could get another coffee," he offers helpfully.

I don't want a damn coffee I want you to fuck me on this meeting table.

"I'd love to, but I'm already way too warm today. I fear the AC can't fight against the heat anymore."

It has gotten exponentially hotter over the past days and you can feel it even inside the modern building.

"You're right, it's quite hot in here," San says with a disappointed face. "What a shame we don't have iced coffee. We should get some on Tuesday!"

His eyes light up in excitement and this little sliver of pure happiness doesn't escape you. It's surprising how cute he can be with that shamelessly hot body of his.

"Do you know a place near?" You ask to drag on the conversation. You yourself know at least 3 cafés in the area that sell iced coffee but you want San to tell you a place. Maybe his favourite. So that you can go and think of him.

"Yes, I can show you!" he answers proudly.

"I'd love to." You send him a gentle smile with long eye contact before both of you look back at your work.

But your concentration withers away like the dying plant in the corner of the room when Choi San begins undoing the buttons of his shirt sleeves.

You know you shouldn't but your eyes immediately watch as his slender fingers start neatly folding up his sleeves. The muscles in his underarms dance beneath his skin as inch after inch of skin gets revealed.

You feel like a medieval man salivating over exposed ankles as you stare at San's arms. The veins are protruding in the heat and his honey skin is glistening under the bland neon lights.

Your heartbeat quickens and it's mostly because it feels like you finally found San slipping. Him rolling up his sleeves is like a crack in his perfect mask and you are certain that he wouldn't do it anywhere else in the company. He only does this because he is with you.

"Shoot," he suddenly exclaims and draws your attention up to his face. You catch the small pout that appears on his lips before he looks back at you.

"What is it?" you ask him.

"I forgot to book the meeting room for Tuesday and now everything is blocked. There is a work event next week. I should've booked it earlier."

"Oh," you simply reply. This is even more confusing. You don't believe that San would ever forget such an important event. Is he trying to get rid of you?

"Don't worry about it, darling." His smirk and the nickname has you fighting for air. "I'll find us something else."

You can only nod at him with a smile. Maybe he isn't trying to get rid of you.

The rest of your study/work time flies by as your mind thinks of all the possible meeting places you and San could have for Tuesday. You feel like a highschool girl dreaming about dates with your crush but you don't care. The man that is supposed to be tutoring you just makes your heart speed up in a way that you haven't experienced ever before.

When your meeting time comes to an end and San starts packing up his stuff he simply says: "How about we meet at my place next time? I don't like working in cafés it's always so crowded and noisy. And I have coffee too."

You snap up at him in surprise at the proposal. "Sure," you reply as nonchalantly as you can at the prospect of going to Choi San's apartment. Alone. With him.

"I can pick you up here with my car after work. So you don't have any extra way."

"That sounds good," you reply with a small smile, trying not to sound too excited.

"Then until next week," he says with one of his handsome smiles and you say your goodbyes before you can turn even redder in his presence.

When you walk onto the elevator this time and the door closes behind you, your heart is pounding into your throat. As the realization sets in that you will be alone with Choi San in his apartment a satisfied smile set over your face. Oh you will use that chance for sure.

----------------------

You spend the entire day preparing for your tutor appointment with San. Something deep inside you tells you that this behaviour is ridiculous but you push this inner voice back down as you play your favourite music and get ready.

You wear your hair in light waves and put on makeup to bring out your eyes but not look overly done up. Your outfit was a tricky matter but you settled on a classic pleated skirt and a tight long-sleeve. Everything about your appearance today lands on the thin line between innocent and suggestive and you are satisfied when you twirl around in front of the mirror.

All you want is one small reaction out of the man that you have thirsted for over the past weeks. If Choi San even so much as lets his eyes scan you up and down, your mission would be successful. Lost in your task of getting ready you almost forget to actually pack your study books before heading to your mothers company.

You two agreed on San picking you up at the company's garage. So you are taking down the elevator to the parking floor and checking yourself one last time in your phone camera before stepping into the parking lot.

Having no idea how his car looks like you pull up your chat with San, wanting to ask him where to go. But before you can type your message a calm voice calls you over from across the parking lot.

"Y/n!"

You turn around to a sight that makes your heart flutter. San is leaning onto his car, a chic black Mercedes. His white dress shirt has one button unbuttoned and his sleeves are rolled up again. His feet are crossed over each other leisurely as he waits for you to come over.

Walking up to him you have to try real hard to look casual and not like your nerves are taking over you with the impending situation of being in the same car as San for an undefined amount of time. Your heart is beating already and he hasn't even called you any nicknames yet.

"Hello, San. You're not wearing glasses today?" you notice in surprise and hope it doesn't come off as too attentive.

"Sometimes I wear contacts," he replies smoothly. "It's a styling decision."

While you love the glasses on San seeing him without has a different charm to it. Almost like he is showing you a different side of him.

"Ready to go?" you ask him to keep the conversation going and you're almost proud of your nonchalant tone.

"Ready when you are," he replies with a light smile and walks around the car to open the door for you.

Of course he opens the door for me.

Before you can get in he also takes your bag from you to store it in the back. You want to refuse but one of his smiles finally makes you give in and you hand him the bag. Finally, you thank him and sit down in the passenger seat. The car looks even nicer on the inside: leather seats and perfectly clean. Something inside you starts questioning where this man hides his flaws since noone can possibly be this perfect at all times.

"It's only a 20 minute drive," San explains as he gets into the driver's seat and turns on the engine. You can't help but watch his hands as he manages the gearshift. But as he turns around to look for obstacles his eyes get stuck on you. For a second you think you got him. That his eyes linger on you for a little too long because you finally pulled a reaction out of him.

"You haven't even put your seatbelt on, darling."

And with that your mind is blank. Simple emptiness.

Before you can react, his hand reaches past you, grabbing the seatbelt and plugging it in. His hand doesn't so much as grace your shoulder for a millisecond but you feel like your lungs are constricting.

"Thanks," you breath out before he finally pulls out of the parking spot. He does that wildly attractive thing where he put his hand on the back of the passenger's seat while driving backwards and you feel like losing it already. How will you survive being in the same apartment with this man. San however seems his usual chatty self.

"I'm sorry again for not booking the meeting room in time. I already reserved it for the weeks to come," he starts talking to you.

"Don't worry. I totally don't mind," you answer and regret it immediately. Did that sound too eager? Something about Sam's presence makes you overthink every single word you say.

"I have a fancy coffee machine at home so I can at least return the favour of you getting me coffee all the time."

You smile at that. It feels like this little inside thing between you two how you always use your company privileges to pay for both of your coffee. San thanks you every single time, bringing up how much you save his day.

"I never thought you were that much of a coffee guy at home too," you say trying to get him to tell you more about himself.

"You're acting like I didn't go through pharmacy as well!" He replies with a slightly sulky tone. "No way to survive that major without getting addicted to coffee."

You chuckle at his response. "That's true unfortunately. So you just carried the addiction into your job?"

"You could state it like that but by buying a fancy machine you can just say that coffee is your hobby instead."

Whenever you two talk about mundane topics like this you can't help but be glued to his lips. To get a glimpse of the Choi San that isn't working over-hours all the time and kept up his perfect image at all costs. You want to find out the details about him. Like how he enjoys his coffee or what colour he might like best.

You continue the drive in casual chatter like this before finally reaching your destination. As San pulls into an underground parking lot of an apartment building your heart rate quickens again. Something about seeing his apartment makes you incredibly nervous.

He tells you to wait inside the car after he lets the motor die down so that he can open the door for you again. Even this small gesture has you wrapped around his finger and you smile as you try to step out of the car as gracefully as you can.

San leads you into an elevator and as soon as the doors close you feel reminded of your first meeting. Of how he took your breath away just by standing next to you in such a small space. And now there isn't much difference. He still makes you just as nervous. But at least you can talk to him now.

"How is studying for your exams going so far?" He asks casually.

"It's okay," you reply lamely. "I'm trying my best."

"You know if you actually do need my help you can obviously ask me," he offers alluding to your deal of him basically just getting his own work done instead of tutoring you.

"You've already helped me so much. All I need to do now is actually study," you say turning down his argument.

You idiot, you think to yourself. You could've at least pretended to need his help.

You wait in silence as the remaining floors rush past you. You're surprised with every passing number, wondering what floor San might be living on. But the elevator doesn't stop until the highest floor.

San let's you exit first which makes no sense to you since you don't know where to go. So you wait for him to show you the way to his apartment.

As soon as he unlocks the door and leads you two inside you curiously scan his place. On a first glance it looks almost exactly like you expected: it's very clean and tidy, the furniture is modern and rather minimalistic and the whole place carries a simple colour theme of black and chrome with only hints of colour. The entrance leads straight into an open living room that connects to the kitchen.

"Make yourself at home at the dinner table," San offers while gesturing at the big, black table that looks like straight out of a design magazine.

You both place your shoes neatly at the entrance of his apartment before you take your bag to the table. As you choose a seat from which you can look outside the gigantic window front, San heads over to the kitchen, getting something from a cupboard.

"Can I get you a glass of water before I make some coffee?" He asks you with a kind smile.

"That would be nice," you answer even though water was not what you were craving right now.

He filled one for you and brought it over before returning to the kitchen. "You want your coffee hot or iced?"

"Iced? This is better service than at the company. You should forget to book the meeting room more often." It's a weak attempt at flirting with him but he laughs non the less.

"So iced it is?" He confirms with you again and turns on his electric coffee grinder after you nod approvingly.

It shouldn't captivate you that much, looking at him while he was performing such a basic task as making coffee. But you could watch him for hours, the way his broad back stretches out his dress shirt. The way he moves around so smoothly. The way the muscles in his arms flex as he handles his espresso machine.

You turn towards your study materials just in time before he faces you again, two iced coffees in his hands. He places one gently in front of you before he sits down opposite of you.

"Thank you," you smile at him extra sweetly.

"Anything you want, darling."

You swear to yourself that if he calls you darling one more time you will throw all rational thoughts out of the window and straddle him right here in his stupid designer living room chair. But for now you settle for a coy smile as you feel your cheeks heat up.

To add to your demise, as San drags his chair closer to the table both of your knees touch for a brief second before he casually changes his seating position. The table is narrower than the one in the meeting room and knowing that your legs are mere inches from another makes you even more delusional. What if he did that on purpose?

After that, all concentration for your studies is far gone. It doesn't help at all that the iced coffee he made you was the best you had in ages and with every sip you keep wondering what Choi San isn't good at.

I just know he fucks good there's no other way, you think to yourself but get interrupted in your thoughts.

"Are you stuck on something?" San asks you and you almost don't even dare to raise your eyes to look at him. A kind of shame overcomes you as you realize what you have been thinking about while he worries about your studies.

You sigh to buy yourself time to find an answer that doesn't include: Yes, I'm stuck because I can't think of anything but your body on top of mine.

"Yeah, I just can't seem to concentrate well lately. Maybe I'm stressed out because of my finals."

It isn't fully a lie. Your finals are approaching steadily and with you thirsting over your tutor instead of studying you are indeed starting to worry.

"I would love to tell you that grades don't matter too much but I know your mother won't agree and I will probably face her anger too if you fail," he laughs at the end of his sentence to lighten the mood but quickly notices he only stressed you more by saying that.

"I'm sorry," he quickly retracts. It feels like the first time you caught him messing up his smooth way of talking which in return makes you smile.

"No, you're right. I just never thought about the fact that she will hate both of us if I mess up. What a way to relax."

"I shouldn't have said that," San again apologizes. "I'm sure you will do amazing though. After all you studied so much."

He finishes his sentence with a wink and you must stare at him for a second like an idiot. Did you just imagine that? Or is he alluding to something? Does Choi San know that you thirsted for him this entire fucking time?

But his further actions don't allow you to think much more.

"You look quite tense actually," he continues. "You know it's not good for your back to sit stiff like this for a prolonged amount of time. Your neck must be hurting?"

You have no idea what he is talking about. And your confusion only grows as San gets up from his chair heading in your direction. Every step he comes closer to you has your heart pumping erratically. Even though you dreamed about him being closer to you and finally paying you more attention you are now paralysed at the situation unfolding. Simply being close to him renders your entire body useless.

San steps behind you and, to your absolute shock and amazement, his hands gently grasp your shoulders.

"To compensate the stress from university I took a physiology course that taught us how to massage tense muscles."

As if to proof his words his thumbs gently start rubbing circles into your neck. The warmth of his fingers seeps through your thin shirt and fills your entire body. It feels like he set you on fire with this simple touch.

All of this cannot be real. This must be a figment of your imagination or you actually fell asleep on your study notes while dreaming about San. But his voice sounds very much real when he resumes:

"You have to relax, otherwise I'll hurt you." His voice drops lower than usual and as he gently drapes your hair over one shoulder to get it out of his way you can feel his breath fanning over your neck. Goosebumps erupt all over your skin.

But amid the fire burning in your veins and your clouded mind you actually manage to ease into his fingers and allow him to loosen up your muscles.

"That's a good girl," he rasps behind you and you know you tipped over the edge now. There is no going back from this. You feel like a doll in his hands. His words are electrifying, leaving you unable to utter a single word, to make a single sound. Your mind is running on a state of emergency. Nothing seems to get to you but the fact that San is touching you.

And oh is he good at it. His hands are pressing into all the right places relieving all the pent up tension you built ever since getting ready for this meeting today. If his fingers are already this good at massaging out your stress you can't help but think about what else they can do.

"How do you feel?" He asks. His voice is still low and his tone taunting, as if he knows exactly what he's doing to you.

"Better," you answer. Your voice is merely a whisper. You sound weak, even in your own ears, and wonder if he even heard you.

"Yeah? Then how is this?" With his question his thumbs dip beneath the collar of your shirt and massage your upper back a little lower.

You can't help but close your eyes. The low tone of his voice, his fingers on your skin and the playfulness of his words. All of this is so overwhelming you can only lean back and revel in his touch.

"It feels so good," you manage to breath out when you realize he asked you a question.

He bends down a little, his mouth now right next to your ear. "Should I make you feel even better?"

He is quite literally the devil on your shoulder. Everything in your body screams for you to say yes immediately. The unspoken promise has your entire body on fire and you almost give in to your desire. But a tiny speck of reasonable thinking pulls you back into the dangerous territories you are moving in right now.

"What do you mean?" you ask carefully. You know that this is everything you wanted for the past few weeks but still you can't help being confused about his sudden change.

His left hand wanders from your back to your chin, tilting it to the side so you can look at him. The look in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine. His pupils are dilated and he is looking at you like he is preying on you. The intensity is something you have never seen in him before.

"You are far too smart to be asking that question, darling," he replies smugly.

"But you were never interested in me?" You ask back and want to hit yourself on the spot. Why are you even asking questions when the man you've desired for weeks finally seems to be making a move on you? But after all he is acting very out of character.

San chuckles, never taking his eyes off of you. "You're so cute. All these weeks that you've been wanting me and now you ask what I'm doing?"

Your mouth opens in shock. So he did in fact know all this time that you were interested in him.

"Don't act all surprised now, darling. You really thought I didn't see the way you looked at me ever since we first met? How your eyes keep focusing on my arms in my tight shirts. How you steal glances at me when you think I'm not looking? I wanted to see how long I could leave you thirsting like this before you would break."

His confession has you gasping as you realize you weren't even faintly as indiscreet as you thought you were. Instead San was playing with you the entire time. Watching your every move.

"Desperation looks so cute on you," he adds with another devilish smile. His fingers continue drawing circles into your back as his burning eyes keep you fixed in your spot. You feel bewitched by his entire presence, like he has cast a spell on you.

"I made all this effort to get you into my apartment so we both don't have to risk our lives by having me ruin you on the meeting table and still you didn't even have a clue. I'm almost disappointed if you weren't so cute when you are surprised like this." A satisfied grin plays around his plump lips, as if he revelling in the taste of this sweet opportunity in his hands. "Now be a good girl for me and finally do what you've been wanting to do for weeks. Tell me you want me."

You haven't taken a single breath since he started talking and as a result your head feels dizzy. It takes a short moment before you can finally form the words that your head is screaming at you.

"Please," you whisper pathetically.

"Please what, darling?" San revels in the way you can barely speak.

"Please ruin me."

You can basically see the fire behind his eyes ignite as you speak those three words. His hand wanders to your cheek, grabbing it firmly. He takes his sweet time to let his thumb run over your bottom lip, eyes trailing after his own movement.

"With pleasure."

Finally, his lips press onto yours in a desperate kiss. They feel just as soft as they always looked to you, but he kisses you with a roughness that is almost contradictory. The combination is intoxicating. As you reciprocate the kiss, heat runs through your limbs in shockwaves.

Suddenly impatient, San interrupts the kiss to pull you up and out of the chair by your arms. Grabbing your waist he manhandles you onto the dinner table instead, lifting you onto the ledge as if it was nothing.

Your hands bury in his hair as both your lips meet again in a rushed embrace. In return, San wedges one of his legs between yours and spreads your knees so he can stand between them. The way he handles you makes heat pool in your core. San has a determination to his every move that makes you want to do whatever he could want from you.

One of his hands still tightly grasping your waist, the other winds in your hair as he deepens the kiss. When his tongue enters your mouth you arch your back wanting to diminish every centimetre between you two. Your head is dizzy, completely overwhelmed by his every touch.

San's firm hands are restless on your heated body. His fingers quickly find a way to shift under your shirt and his thumb draws circles into the bare skin of your stomach. Choi San feels like a drug. His touch just as intoxicating as you always dreamed it to be.

He removes his mouth from your lips only to latch onto the fragile skin behind your ears, kissing his way around your neck. You let your head fall back to give him better access and when he starts sucking on your skin you relieve a small whimper.

You can feel San smirking into your skin as he sucks even more. It's like he has found your weakness and is now shamelessly using it to make you melt beneath his fingers. And it's working so well. Your hands lose grip on his hair as you lose your ability to focus on anything but San's lips on your neck.

"Don't tap out on me already, darling. I'm only getting started," he rasps into your ear in between kisses. You draw in a shaky breath at his words. Your legs feel like jelly even as your sitting down and you just know you won't be able to walk after San is finished with you.

He finally withdraws his lips and for a second just revels in your already dishevelled form: hair messy, red flush to your cheeks and lips glossy from kissing him.

"I'd love to have you on my dinner table but let's take this somewhere more comfortable for now," he says in a soft voice.

Hooking his hands under your thighs he picks you up from the table, carrying you towards his bedroom. Woken up from your trance by the change of motion you suddenly gain back some of your bite. While San is busied with carrying you, your fingers rush to the collar of his dress shirt. Oh how often you have dreamed of popping open those buttons one by one. And finally you have the pleasure to do so. A soft chuckle makes his chest move in front of you as San looks down on your actions.

"You couldn't wait, could you?"

"Why would I?" you reply cheekily as your hand smooths over his now exposed skin. He feels so soft and hot under your fingertips that you don't think you'll ever be able to detach.

San throws open his bedroom door with his shoulder and before you have a chance to take in the room you are thrown onto the plush bed. He follows behind immediately, hovering over you with both hands propped up next to your head. He lets his eyes run over your figure lazily, up and down.

"Don't even know where to start with you," he mumbles half to himself and half to you as he watches your chest rise and fall in heavy breaths. He decides to put on a show, sitting back on his heels and slowly continuing your work in unbuttoning his shirt.

Apart from his skin being exposed the simple act of opening some buttons shouldn't drive you as crazy as it does right now. It's simply the sexiest thing you have ever seen in your life. The way his hooded eyes stay on yours the entire time while one button after another falls open under his practiced movements.

You are moving on autopilot when you also sit up to take off your own shirt. You simply can't delay this any further. As your shirt lands somewhere beside the bed, San lets out a small groan, surprising you. He stopped in the middle of folding down his sleeves.

"How did you know that purple was my favourite colour?" He asks in a raspy voice. His eyes are raking over your deep purple bra with a desire in them that lets shivers run over your skin.

You can't imagine a better way to find out his favourite colour. You only chose it because it accentuates your skin tone but now it feels like fate to you. Finally, you are getting to the edges of Choi San. Getting to know him on a level that you were craving like the air you needed to breath.

"Good intuition," you reply. Your confidence surges under his heavy glances. Maybe a little too much. "Need help with that?" you ask him teasingly with a nod towards his shirt, which hangs open around his toned torso.

As soon as you speak those words you are getting pinned back to the bed, San's hand suddenly wrapped around your neck. He isn't putting any pressure on it yet but you can feel his strength pulsating around your neck. His broad shoulders are taking up most of your vision and with the way he glares at you you just know that you are soaked.

"Don't get too bold with me, darling," he says in a warning tone. "I'm the one in charge."

You look up at him through big, round eyes, lashes fluttering because you have a feeling that it will push just the right buttons in him.

"Go ahead then," you reply firmly. "Do whatever you want to me."

San sits up again and roughly tugs on his sleeves, finally discarding his shirt fully. Then his lips are on yours again in a heartbeat.

You greedily let your hands wander over his now fully exposed upper body. The muscles playing under his skin feel so good as he buries his hands in your hair. His biceps is so big that your fingers can barely wrap around it halfway. You can't get enough of touching his body which so far you only admired in fitted dressing shirts.

San kisses his way down from your lips again but this time he doesn't stop at your neck. Continuing down your chest he kisses the tender skin between your breasts. When he takes both hands to squish your breasts together, burying his face in between, you lose your last bit of composure.

"Please, San. Please just fuck me."

He lifts his head to smile at you devilishly. The fire behind his eyes seems so bright that you're scared it will never burn down again.

"Already begging for me? You're still half dressed and I'm only starting. Have a little patience."

As he finishes his words, his hand snakes behind your back to open your bra in a swift motion. He peels the straps off of you with a new found patience that makes you feel like you are suffocating.

When the piece of clothing lands on the floor, San's eyes are glued to your chest. Slowly, he lowers himself down again, gently taking on of your nipples into his mouth. As soon as his tongue starts lapping at you a string of moans escape you. He just feels so good.

Without ever losing focus on kissing and nipping on your chest, one of his hands wanders to your skirt. He finds the zipper so easily it feels like he has studied undressing you. He pushes it down your legs quickly, leaving you only in your underwear.

As his hand starts stroking your inner thighs, your eyes roll to the back of your head. He feels like a dream.

"Please San. Please touch me," the words leave your mouth in whispers. Silent pleas for him to finally give you what you want.

"Is my darling so stressed from studying that she needs her mind taken off of things?" His fingers trail over your clothed heat as he asks you in a sickly sweet voice. His eyes are focussed on your face, taking in how you crumble beneath his touch.

"Yes. Yes, please," you whimper desperately. Every touch feels like electricity on your skin.

"Want me to stuff you full so you can forget everything you've studied for for weeks?" He pushes your panties to the side, his fingers toying at your entrance.

"Please San..." you repeat yourself weakly. Finally he gives into your pleading and sinks two of his fingers into you. You are so wet that they glide in with ease. You suck in a harsh breath as he begins pumping them in and out of you.

"God you feel so good. Can't wait to fuck you, my darling. Bury my cock so deep into you you forget your own name."

His words make you shake beneath him. You had a lot of suspicions about San in the bedroom due to your extensive daydreaming about him. But never did you expect him to be so vocal and downright dirty with his words. It catches you off-guard and only heightens your pleasure.

San scoots up on the bed a little so his face is hovering over yours again, while he slips a third finger into your heat. "How do I feel?" he asks with a raspy tone to his voice.

"You feel so fucking good, San," you moan in answer. His fingers stretch you out so deliciously and he reaches this spot deep inside you that makes you arch your back with every thrust.

"Yeah, you wanna come on my fingers?" he rasps into your ear now, lips again attaching to your neck, sucking deep marks into your skin.

"Please, San." You feel like a broken record that's repeating the same thing over and over. You grow closer and closer to an orgasm with every motion of his fingers inside you. But San has other plans for you. And when he feels you desperately clenching around his fingers, he pulls them out of you.

"I'm sorry darling," he says immediately, even though his face doesn't display any regret. "But you look so pretty when you're desperate. And I want you to come on my cock when I make you fall apart for the first time."

You feel like crying. You want nothing more but to come and yet him taking it from you only makes you want him more. You would do anything for Choi San.

He stands up from the bed and opens his belt. But before he can take of his pants, he orders you over with a motion of his finger. You sit on your knees at the edge of the bed in seconds, looking up at him expectantly.

He doesn't say a word and only gestures for his painfully strained pants. You don't need any more hints to start opening his pants and pulling them down his legs desperately. You hook your fingers into his boxers too but look up at him once more before continuing. When he nods at you you finally pull them down as well.

You can't help but stare at San's length. He's big, just like you had always imagined and he was rock-hard. When San takes himself into his hand and gives himself a few strokes you open your mouth on your own, sticking out your tongue in anticipation of tasting him.

San starts gently. His other hand weaves into your hair and he pulls you onto his length slowly. You are able to take a good amount of him before his tip hits the back of your throat and you release a surprised moan. San closes his eyes momentarily as he relishes in the feeling of your hot mouth around him.

"Shit, you feel so good," he rasps out before he starts thrusting in and out of your mouth. Your hands seek hold on his muscular thighs and you look up at San through big and pleading eyes. Even though he isn't pleasuring you, this almost feels as good as having him bury his fingers inside you. All you ever dreamed about was him using you just like this and the feeling of it happening is so intoxicating you feel like you might pass out any second.

"Look at you enjoying my cock so damn much, that your eyes are losing focus," San chuckles. He looks down at you in disbelief as you mindlessly swirl your tongue around his cock. "You love being ruined by me, don't you?"

You can only manage a desperate nod and approving grunt as you continue sucking him of. No man has ever made you this desperate. As you look at him from beneath you feel like you have accomplished everything you ever wanted: his hair was dishevelled, his breaths uneven and a red tint painted his cheeks. All in all, Choi San lost his perfectly maintained appearance as you sucked on his cock and to you he looked 100 times prettier this way.

When his thrusts go sloppy, he pulls out of your mouth in a haste before he can come. "You're driving me crazy, darling," he grunts as he catches his breath for a second. In a more gentle tone he resumes: "Lay back on the bed for me, ok?"

You do as he says, laying down on your back in the middle of the bed, your body buzzing with the anticipation of what is to come. San goes to his dresser, opening a drawer to get a condom. 

When he climbs over you he looks at you intensely. But at the same time his eyes hold a softness that makes you feel secure.

"Are you sure about going on, y/n?" he asks warmly. No petnames this time. He wants a clear answer.

"Never been so sure in my life," you reply with a smile and his lips mirror yours as he beams down at you.

Quickly he sits up to open the condom and roll it onto his member. Opening your legs with his knee he situates himself between you and positions his cock at your entrance. One hand on your hip and the other holding his cock, he slowly sinks himself into you while carefully observing your face.

Your eyes flutter when he is fully inside of you and you moan at the feeling. San releases a grunt as well and waits a few seconds deep inside of you.

"Fuck, you're so tight for me, my darling. Don't worry I won't stop this time until you come." And with that he starts thrusting into you. He begins with slow and deep thrusts but as soon as you get used to his size he speeds up rapidly. 

His abs are flexing underneath is skin as he grabs onto your hip and pistons himself into you. With every thrust you can feel him hit this spongy part deep inside of you that makes heat build in your core with a throbbing intensity. Meanwhile you revel in the sight above you: San looks like a god. His muscular body moving above you is almost enough to push you over the edge but what's even more entrancing is his face. His expressions seem almost possessed. Like a demon took over him as soon as he started fucking you, he fixes his eyes onto yours.

"Am I fucking you good? Making you forget all your precious studies?" There they are again. His filthy words driving you down a one-way-road to insanity. "I hope you forget everything so you have to see me even more, darling. Then I can keep on fucking this tight little cunt over and over again."

"Fuck, San!" you moan out, being shocked by his words. His control over you is baffling and you can't help but grow closer and closer to your orgasm with every word.

"I know you like me like that, darling. Do me a favour and come on my cock so I can finally see you lose yourself will you?"

You can't form an answer. Endless moans tumble out of your mouth in increasing volume and San knows he has you exactly where he wants. 

"Come for me."

Your orgasm hits you with an explosive intensity. Faintly, you notice yourself moan at a concerning volume as your high washes over your body. But San doesn't seem to mind. Your legs are shaking and he helps you ride out the feeling with slower strokes. He waits for your breath to slow down again before he leans down to you and places a gentle kiss onto your lips.

"I want you on your knees in front of me," he says sweetly as soon as your lips separate and your head is spinning. Still you manage to get up with the help of his arm beneath your waist and you let yourself be positioned in front of San, your back to him.

Since you didn't have the opportunity to examine his bedroom earlier you only now notice the big mirror on his wardrobe next to his bed. Looking ahead, you can now see yourself on your knees, sitting in front of San.

You look even more dishevelled than you feel: Your hair is all over the place and some of your eyeliner smudged and a handful of dark purple marks littering your neck. Also, a red tint covers your skin, making you look flushed. San behind you smirks as you examine your own figure.

"You look so pretty all messed up like this for me, don't you think?"

His arm wraps around your waist as he leans your body back onto his broad chest. You look tiny in front of his build.

"I'll make you look even prettier," he promises as he sinks himself back into you.

He picks up his intense pace from before and you already feel dizzy again. With his arm holding you tight he is basically lifting you up and down his cock. At this angle he is hitting you deeper than before and you are sure you won't last very long until your next high.

But nothing could've prepared you for the feeling of San winding his other arm around you too, his fingers gently starting to stroke your clit. Your head falls back onto San's shoulder as you give in to the mind-numbing pleasure that starts buzzing through your body.

"Keep your eyes on me, darling. I want to watch you fall apart."

His voice sounds sulky, almost cute. It doesn't match his relentless thrusts and his fingers pleasuring you. It takes all your strength to lift your head again and look at San through the mirror. His eyes are hooded now, a shin layer of sweat making his flawless skin shine in the evening light.

"You make me feel so good," you manage to say as San keeps on pounding into you. You want him to know how he makes you feel. How good he is being to you.

"Am I?" He smiles in satisfaction as he watches your brows draw together with a particularly deep thrust. "You too, darling. You feel so good around me I don't think I can last much longer. But you'll come one more time for me, right?"

His voice sounds so deep and sultry in your ears. "Of course, Sannie," you mumble absent-mindedly. You don't even notice the nickname until he chuckles behind you.

"How can you be so cute and so sexy at the same time? You'll be the death of me, my good little girl."

He places a kiss onto your cheek and that is what finally drives you over the edge.

"Fuck, San. I'm coming," you moan out before your high crashes over you. If he wasn't holding you, you would fall to the ground. You try to hold eye contact with San through the reflection but your eyes keep on shutting as waves of pleasure roll over you. You have never felt such an intensity before.

But San's thrust don't slow down this time. He keeps on rutting into you relentlessly, driving you to insanity. You feel like you're swimming in a pool of pleasure.

"I'm close, darling. Just a little longer," San's voice is pitched higher than before, sounding just as desperate as you feel. You want nothing more but for him to come.

"Please, Sannie. I want you to come so bad."

Your desperate pleas are San's final straw. Clutching your body tight to his own, he finishes with his cock buried deep inside you. You can feel him pulsating in your heat and your moans mix into his grunts as you milk him for every last drop of his cum.

As you both slowly recover San pulls out of you and gently lays you back onto the bed. You can't do anything but catch your breath while he gets up to rid himself of the condom and return to you with a glass of water.

"Drink something," he urges you on and you take the glass from him. He watches you with a tinge of worry in his eyes. After taking a few sips you offer the glass back to him.

"You should drink some too, I'm sure you worked your body more than I did."

He smiles at your words and takes some water too before returning the glass to his bedside table. When he looks back at you there is a heaviness to his gaze that worries you.

"What is it?" you ask.

San takes a deep breath before answering you. "No matter what I said to you before, I actually didn't expect us to tumble into this as quickly as we did right now. And I want you to know that I didn't do this to use you or take any advantage of you."

His hand nervously grabs for the back of his neck. "Actually, I've been interested in you ever since we first met but I fear the tension between us was quicker than both of us."

You try to process his words even in your hazy state of mind. A spark of excitement surges through your body as you realize what he is saying.

"I feel the same, San," you reply truthfully. "I like you. And not just because you're insanely handsome."

You are glad when he laughs shyly at your words.

"So maybe I can take you out on a date that doesn't involve work or pharmacy studies sometime?"

"I hope sometime means this week, because I waited long enough for you already."

After everything that happened this evening, this moment when he smiles at you might be what makes your heart beat the fastest. You can't believe your luck as you look Choi San into the eyes and he leans in for a kiss.

-----------------

"This was a stupid idea," you say to San but maybe more to yourself. "I should tell her alone."

"How will she ever respect me again if I let you do this alone?" San replies worriedly. "She told me to tutor you and now here we are. I will look terrible either way."

You have never seen him this nervous. But after all, your mother has the ability to make everybody scared for their life. You two pass her assistant's desk with a polite greeting as you head straight for your mother's office. She knows you are coming but she doesn't know you're bringing company.

You knock carefully on the door until her voice calls you in. Your mother stays seated as you two enter the room. She doesn't look surprised or confused about San's appearance but rather intrigued.

"Why are you visiting me today, y/n?" she asks simply.

Your heart is beating out of your chest as you prepare for answering.

"I have something to announce to you," you start off as confident as you can. 

Your mother's eyes flick between you and San. "Go on."

"San- ... Mr. Choi and I, we are..." your voice is shaking. Why is this so hard for you?

But San grabs for your hand, linking his fingers with yours as he confidently finishes your sentence: "We are in a relationship, director Kim."

His boldness strikes you as admiring. Maybe he was right about accompanying you.

A silence that draws out unbearably long fills the room. You feel like your lungs are being compressed with every passing second.

Then your mother smiles. It's not exactly a smile of happiness. It speaks more of victory.

"Finally," she announced. "It took you two longer than I expected."

Now it's your turn to be silent. Both you and San are stunned in your places.

Finally you find your voice to ask: "What do you mean, mom?"

She smiles at you in satisfaction.

"You see: Mr. Choi is a good man. He's a gentleman, treats his colleagues with the utmost respect, excels at his job and is handsome too. How could I find a better match for my beloved daughter? But I know you wouldn't be interested if I were to formerly introduce you two so I thought I'd help you in a different way."

Your mouth falls open in shock. Out of all things, your mother purposefully setting you up with San has never even crossed your mind. Your boyfriend seems even more shocked at the revelation than you, his face reddened and a stunned expression on his face.

"So you set us two up?" You finally ask your mother.

"Of course I did! And it worked out brilliantly, don't you think? I'm glad you both came to tell me. Mr. Choi?"

San perks up at her words. "Yes?"

"I assume you will take good care of my daughter?"

"Of course I will," he replies sternly, voice full of sincerity. "I will do everything care for y/n." His words make you feel warm and fuzzy.

Your mother nods approvingly. "Then you two may leave. I still have work to do."

You both nod hastily and thank your mother before turning back for the door.

"Oh, before I forget. Y/n?" your mother asks one last time.

"Yes?"

"I received your test results that you sent me. They look very promising."

I hope you enjoyed <3 Pls reblog and leave feedback if you can :)

Tags: @voicesinmyhead-rc

#ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #beginningofwonderland #smut fanfic #ateez fanfiction #san smut #san x y/n #san x reader #san fanfic #san x you

[bunnystalker]

albert whiskers (fluff)

after umbrella disposes of him, albert finds himself in a shelter for abandoned hybrids. lucky for him, he's exactly what you're looking for + extra lil bit at the end!

a/n; another option on the 100 followers special poll- i just rlly wanted to write all of these i'm sorry guys... also i do not have energy to write sex now that i'm working more sorry!!! no sex in this one

tags; @whiskers-my-beloved

the fan whirs overhead, another noise that fades into the background with pathetic barks, meows, and clucking from the other hybrids in the shelter. being older, more people passed by his kennel in favor of other, younger hybrids. he's been here for at least a few years, and the pattern is always the same. new people flood in, walk right past him, and leave with a younger, sweeter hybrid that has more energy and can give them more love.

you're just looking for a pet. someone to love and adore, but not tire you out with endless wishes to play. you've always had older animals growing up, so why would a hybrid be any different?

walking through the path between multiple cages, many younger hybrids try to garner your attention, but none of them really piques your interest. as you reach the back end, you notice that there's not as many hybrids back here, and if there are, they're older and somewhat sad. you assume they've been here for a while, which rings true based on the acceptance dates on the information plagues hanging off their cage doors. most of them don't look at you, though the occasional one raises their head in curiosity and mild hope. it really just breaks your heart.

at the last cage, you stop to read the plaque as you've done with the other older hybrids in the more dim half of the room.

"albert whiskers..? how cute," you murmur, smiling softly. you peer inside the cage to find said albert whiskers and find him sitting in the corner of his cage. he looks up at you through (what you assume to be) prescription sunglasses, his tail flicking curiously. he's handsome, his platinum blonde ears twitching as he sniffs you out from afar. his tail matches his messily slickbacked hair, his pupils widening. he wasn't expecting to see someone both young ang cute in front of his cage, not since he was thrown here. of course, he doesn't get his hopes up quite yet, but his tail and ears betray him.

"well hello there," you say, placing a hand on the cage door, "i take it you're mr. whiskers?"

he stares at you for a few moments more, wondering whether or not he should engage you. it's your subtle head tilt at the end of your question that gets him to do it.

"…yes, that would be me." he says coolly, trying to appear a bit more cold. it doesn't work all that well, and you find his voice to be nice.

"you've been here quite a while, huh?" you sit down in front of his cage, placing your hands on your knees.

"i have," he resists the urge to scoot closer, "a few years."

oh, how your heart bleeds for him.

"well, can i take you home?"

"are you not looking for a more… youthful companion?" his ear twitches with interest.

you shake your head softly.

"no, i wouldn't be able to care for a younger hybrid. i work too much for that. i was hoping to find someone older."

he's silent as he figures out your true motives, if you're really trying to get his hopes up only to leave the moment he agrees.

"if it helps," you add, "i live alone. it's just me and myself, no other animals or people, i'm pretty quiet, i won't force you to cuddle, and i'm just tired of being alone in my home."

albert nods softly, rubbing his wrist as he considers what you've said. your words are tempting, and truthfully, it sounds as though you could provide him with what he needs- stability. not to mention how cute you are. your eyes are so sweet and part of him aches to just lie down in front of you and let you pet him all over.

"… alright. i suppose that will do just fine."

and like that, you take him home. he adjusts after a few weeks of overly cautious behavior. the two of you fall into a routine- you work while he busies himself doing menial tasks around the house, and when you come home, he's there to listen. he's replaced the role of a boyfriend for you, honestly.

so when you come home from work tired, and as usual, albert greets you at the door. he moves to hug you, but you brush him off.

"hi, alby." you mutter, walking right past him in favor of your bed. he follows you with hesitance.

"dear," he says, watching you crawl into bed without so much as changing out of your work clothes.

"hm?" you don't look up from the comfort of your sheets.

he walks over to the bed and climbs in bed beside you, his ears flat against his head.

"are you upset with me?" he asks quietly, unable to help the slight desperation in his voice. he'd been missing you all day and really, all he wanted was to cuddle with you even if he won't say it outright. instead, he reaches out and places a clawed hand on your shoulder, trying his hardest to avoid kneading you should you end up kicking him out.

"no, honey. i'm just tired, alright?" you say, gently brushing his hand away. clearly, something's wrong, but he doesn't press. he just lies beside you, his tail curled anxiously on the bed.

you can feel the anxiety he exudes rolling off of him in cold waves, and despite you being tired, you roll over to face him.

"just come here…" you sigh and push the sheets off of you, patting your chest. reluctant and still somewhat hurt by your initial dismissive rejection, he scoots close and presses his face into your chest. once your hand tangles in his hair, he's purring and nuzzling closer. the softness of his hair and the fur on his ears isn't lost on you. he's so happy to be with you after a full day of being alone. he's not used to such solitude without you around. even before, when he was working at umbrella, he wasn't alone.

though he feels silly about snuggling up to you like some needy pet, he can't help it. he's become somewhat dependent on you since his arrival, though he wouldn't admit that to anyone, not even you.

the calm silence is familiar and soothing, nothing but the sound of your breathing filling the air. his tail flicks happily, his ears perked up as well.

evenings like these weren't unusual. after a few moments more of lying in bed, you finally sit up and press a kiss to his forehead.

"i missed you, kitty. sorry for being mean." you mutter, stroking his hair still as you look into his hazel eyes. his heart flutters, slitted pupils turning round within seconds.

"it's alright, dear. i only missed you is all," he takes your hand and kisses the back of it, keeping his eyes locked on yours, "it's too quiet without you somedays."

the blush that dusts your cheeks is unmistakable. his free hand creeps up your arm to cup your head and pull you in for a soft kiss, one he'd been looking forward to all day. you reciprocate it with love, his gentleness only something you can coax out of him. his lips are soft and honey-sweet, his whiskers tickling your face. you pull away giggling at the feeling.

"let's get you out of those clothes, hm?" he mutters, rolling the both of you over so he's on top. you blush more and nod softly, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"it's time for me to take care of my owner. you've been so good to me." he starts kissing down your jaw, his whiskers brushing against your skin.

-

extra!

it's the weekend and you've been out for too long, something albert's grown suspicious of. you're never out this long without explanation or good reason. he waits on the couch, tail swishing with irritation. his ears twitch when he hears footsteps approach the front door, yours accompanied by a pair he's unfamiliar with.

you open the door soon enough and he doesn't bother to greet you, pissed off at you for taking so long. not to mention, that nasty smell you've brought in, it almost smells like-

"albert, i got you a friend! come here, honey!" you call, holding chris's leash loosely. you shut the door with your hip.

his ears perk up and he quickly gets out of his seat, turning around to see chris redfield standing by your side, glaring at him.

"chris!"

#bunnystalker ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ #albert wesker #resident evil #albert wesker x reader #resident evil fanfiction #bunny's fics ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ #hybrid au #cat hybrid #cat hybrid albert wesker #hybrid!albert wesker #albert wesker fanfic #albert wesker smut #albert whiskers

[lakesbian]

i don’t think Aisha thinks Brian is lame. I think she hates it when he tries to control her but at the same time is pretty desperate for his attention. This is noticable especially before she triggered when we see her antagonize Taylor about being a villain; I read that as pretty blatantly showing off that she’s “cool and capable” and that Brian needs to pay more attention to her. But I also think she wouldn’t have joined the undersiders just because its the path of least resistance. I think its partially because she thinks Grue and co are kinda cool!

i'm just assuming these are the same person if not oh well they're similar enough. you're 100% right to be clear and if i think about it too hard ill throw up and die, the only reason i abridged to "started thinking brian was lame" for the brianpost is because well there is an age at which it is no longer cool for your older brother to give you rides on his shoulders and you have to start acting performatively disinterested in it regardless of How functional your childhood is. and aisha is around that age. even if she and brian had a good relationship it would still be passe to want a shoulder ride at the so extremely mature and cool and tough age of 14

i think it's really funny (bad) that aisha teases taylor about being the Team Mom. like, they get along okay enough, aisha thinks she's cool, but also she's more of a distant authority figure than a Friend. and brian is of course team dad :) (distant, hurtfully harsh & firm in a misguided attempt at protecting her, misogynist, struggles to respect her as an individual) (i'm largely jesting i know she and alec are both just referring to the Generic Platonic Ideals of moms/dads.)

anyway, i think it's like. aisha thinks brian is lame as hell. aisha thinks brian is cool as hell. aisha wants brian to think She's cool as hell. aisha will never admit this. aisha makes herself a bitch to deal with because she wants him to stop being a controlling asshole. aisha makes herself a bitch to deal with because she wants him to pay attention to her. aisha makes herself a bitch to deal with because she knows he's safe to be a bitch to deal with around. the laborn siblings...

#ask #worm spoilers

[aihoshiino]

hi!! this is a 'lil out of the blue but i've been thinking about chapter 132, and if you're ok with me asking, what's your opinion of ruby and nino's versions of what Ai would say? When I first read Ruby's interpretation, it didn't strike me as unlike Ai per-se, but I've gotta admit, Nino's answer rang true to me in a way Ruby's didn't. But for the life of me, I can't seem to narrow down why (´･ω･`)?

It bothers me, because while the words themselves sound plausible, Nino's interpretation of the feelings behind them is all wrong. I don't remember her exact words, but it was something like, 'she was so far above us that she wouldn't even remember what i said. my words couldn't bother her.' To Nino, its just more evidence that Ai was a perfect idol. but we know that's not true at all? in the first place, Ai had genuine trouble with her memory, even when it came to her most important people, so her forgetting something isn't the same as her like.. asserting dominance or w/e. And I'm certain, especially after chapter 133, that every time Nino said something cruel to Ai it hurt her deeply. If it looked like Ai simply brushed it off, it's because she was putting in a ton of effort to keep her head up. Knowing all that, it makes it so hard to agree with Nino. I do and I don't at the same time?

I feel nervous speculating about it because it's disrespectful to put words in Ai's mouth, but what do you think she would've done in that situation? Me personally, I think it might land somewhere between what Ruby said and what Nino said. Because Ai was constantly trying to connect and love the people around her, I can believe she'd extend kindness towards Nino like Ruby did, but at the same time she was hurting so badly that saying "it's all good" wouldn't communicate her true feelings. Being okay takes time, you can't just flip a switch on it. If anything, I think it'd thrust her into a kind of despair, where she can't communicate the true complexity of her feelings for fear of pushing Nino away, but not giving voice to them makes her feel so acutely like a liar, and the last thing she wants is to respond to Nino's genuine regret with a lie. She's so trapped in it (┬┬﹏┬┬).

sorry this is so long btw!! these characters are so easy to ramble about there's so much to them ^^;

Sorry for the wait on a response to this one! It was such an interesting question I ended up rolling it around in my head all week before I felt fully confident that I could get across how I wanted to respond to it.

What I think it ultimately comes down to for me is that Nino is not wrong in how she says Ai would respond - in fact, I think she's correct in saying that Ai would have responded in the way Nino would've wanted to hear and that she would've chosen the sort of, path of least resistance of pretending she didn't even remember she'd been hurt. This feels the most consistent to me with the invincible, flighty persona Ai puts up when she's not quite feeling 100% and it also lines up with how she describes herself in the Spica novel.

Serious talks weren't her cup of tea, and she detested the weighty atmosphere they brought. [...] So, with the same nonchalance, she declared her departure. Things always went smoother without unnecessary drama.

(source is my in-progress TL of the free preview chapter i promise i'll finish it soon [<- in tears])

Where Nino stalls is in her understanding of Ai's motivations. In her mind, the cruelty she subjected Ai to wasn't even worth remembering— Ai was invincible, untouchable and inhuman so even if her words had stung in the moment, there was no way that she'd even remember being targeted by Nino. It should go without saying that this is not reflective of the real Ai in the least.

This is why Ruby, though I don't think she quite sticks the landing, is the one of the two who actually making calls about Ai in line with who she was as a person. While she doesn't properly understand the depths to which Ai was fighting every day to just be okay with things at that moment in time, she intuits something just as important quite naturally and without even seeming to realize she's doing it— Ai's kindness, her desire to help and reach out to people and her instinctive gestures of warmth and outreach when she sees someone who's in pain. Ruby acts on this kindness with barely a moment's thought and ends up embodying the real Ai's heart so vividly.

This is why Nino reacts with such immediate derision. The real Ai's human heart is something that repulses her— she rejects it any time she catches so much of a glimpse of it. It's natural then that she'd dismiss Ruby's earnest, clumsy and honest portrayal; imperfect, but truthful in the ways that really matter.

In short, I think Nino was right, but for the wrong reasons and in turn, Ruby was wrong, but for the right reasons.

I think Ai genuinely would've forgiven Nino in her own way— to her, her expression of "Oh, did you say that?" and pretending to have forgotten it would have been her way of telling Nino it was all water under the bridge and that she has no hard feelings. We know she wanted so, so badly to be friends with the other girls in B-Komachi and I think having Nino reach out to her would have made her so incredibly happy, happy enough that she would've been tripping over herself to forgive Nino of everything if it meant not losing a chance at forming that connection.

Of course, to Nino, it just would've been more proof of how she viewed Ai and more fuel for her belief of Ai as this untouchable, inhuman idol. The sad reality is that I don't think there was ever a chance for Nino and Ai to connect once things went south. That well had been too thoroughly poisoned.

and that's why they should kiss. thank you for your time.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ruby hoshino #ai hoshino #onk spoilers #b-komachi #onk nino #WHERE IS THE TOXIC YURI AI/NINO CONTENT PLEEEEEEEASE ONK FANDOM #<- on her hands and knees

[gffa]

During the prequel era, do you think a Force-sensitive adult (or older child, even) who was genuinely committed to following the Jedi's teachings and wanted to live by non-attachment, etc, would be allowed to "convert" to the Jedi order, if they, for whatever reason, hadn't been raised in it?

I honestly don't know. Let's assume best possible circumstances for the person, they simply weren't found as a youngling, but they honestly want to join, they're genuinely committed to living by non-attachment, the transient nature of life, and the discipline and selflessness it takes to walk the Jedi Path. Is this person genuinely capable of the kind of mental and emotional discipline that it takes to be a Jedi and not go off the rails from it? Lucas has said that it takes a lifetime of discipline to resist the dark side. So, it's not just being a good, kind person, it's also someone who is willing to build the kind of mental foundations it takes to tap into the Force the way the Jedi do, to tap into an energy field that is going to constantly be in your mind, where the dark side is always going to be a temptation, every time you're upset or angry or even just feeling the mental pressure of everyone around you, all of you being level 100 psychic space wizards. In general, my instinct is to lean towards “no”, simply because it feels it would be a nigh on impossible task to ask that kind of mental discipline of someone who has a lifetime of freewheeling their own thoughts and feelings. Attachment is just one path to the dark side, but it’s not the only one.  It’s also that you have to be able to let your fear go, even when you’re getting blasted by it on a psychic level.  You have to be able to let your anger go, even when you’re completely justified in that anger, because the Force works based on your anger, it doesn’t matter the reason, the anger itself still has to be let go.  You don’t have to be perfect at it right away, but you have to be willing to seriously devote yourself to letting those things go, because those things are the dark side. But if it was genuinely possible for that person to follow the Jedi ways and understand how the Force itself works, then I think they would be willing to try, with a little convincing.  My image for how it would go is that the person would probably spend several years just learning emotional discipline, that any abilities with the Force wouldn’t happen for 3+ years at least, because you have to have the foundation first.  And why the person wanted to be a Jedi would be important. why specifically this path?  That motivation would be vital to understand and have to match the purpose of the Jedi--and that’s a hard question to answer.  If you just want to help people, there are plenty of ways to do that without being a Jedi.  If you want to live by non-attachment, you can do that without being a Jedi. There are a lot of necessary hurdles that would be very difficult to get over (the motivation for why this path, the willingness to really do this, etc.), but if all those had legitimate answers, while I think the Jedi would be reluctant (because it’s much, much harder to learn something as an adult), if the Force felt genuine in this, they’d be willing to at least give it a try.

#jedi order #meta

[theblogtini]

Reasons why this eviction bothers only Euginie and Andrew- 1. Both of them are not working royals. Any precedent set for Harkles will apply to both. 2. Edward Sophie and Anne are working royals. That status will protect them irrespective of any changes made. 3. It can be a precursor of o bigger changes in monarchy such as Titles and HRH. 4. Andy and Eugenie will be most affected after Harkles. So theNew has titles and money from husband. Other working royals protected. So they are PR warpath.

That's my guess too - Andrew and Eugenie are pretty much the only ones to "lose" anything here. Beatrice, stands to lose all the same but she seems perfectly content to step up to help her uncle when needed and then go back to her private life as a mum, step-mum, her private day job, and wife of a very wealthy man.

I think Beatrice is taking the "path of least resistance" and being like "Well, I'll take the perks when and if they come and I'll be the reliable one" whereas Andrew seems to be trying to force his brother to give him the outcome he wants.

Eugenie, for her part, I don't think necessarily is pushing for anything - but she's certainly made it clear that she's loyal to her father and the Sussexes.

That's not to say that I think Beatrice is 100% Team Charles and is against her father or even the Sussexes - I think she's just playing a more strategic game. (Which is fitting since her day job is literally the VP of Strategic Partnerships... seems she's pretty good at it!)

[faultyconscience]

Just some quick and dirty thoughts about bg3 rum. Half drow (mom was lolth-sworn tho she died giving birth to him) dad was a POS (aka idk his deal yet lmao). Warlock. Charlatan. Was trying to get to baldur’s gate to 1) find his son and 2) either/or the following: find and kill “hook” or “Cora”.

His approach to companions is like Pokémon bc he hasn’t decided who might be useful to him/help him get to baldur’s gate on the path of least resistance. Tho he is not a fan of the overtly hero/typical “good guys” (except karlach lmao her he likes)

100% on board with evil parasite consumption if it makes himself more powerful/gives him an edge (he learns 0 lessons about accepting power from unknown powerful entities)

Not interested in being good or evil just getting where he wants to go and collecting owed favors from other powerful and influential people along the way. Killing is more than okay if it’s worth his time. He likes having people owe him things.

#.muse ( rumpelstiltskin ) #.v ( rumpelstiltskin - bg3 )

[zoneofsmites]

IDLE I DIDNT SEE THAT YOU REBLOGGED THE DURGE ASKS! I AM SENDING NOW! 1, 6, 11, 16, 18, 22!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that… that is so many… i am in bed already help.

Ok excuse any shitty formatting or spelling we’re doing this by phone. Most under the cut because my stars that’s a lot of questions:

1 - What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass?

Sylas is a triple multiclass of Draconic Sorcerer - Vengeance Paladin - Assassin Rogue. Mostly Dex based for weapons. This is 100% done out of flavor and storytelling but it works decently as a build for me. (note that I do have a lv20 mod so my level spread is a little wider).

Being a sorcerer is intrinsic, nothing led him on that path beyond Bhaal creating him. Shaped from the dead flesh of a divine being (also if I remember right Bhaal was a wizard or sorcerer as a mortal too?). He is a draconic bloodline - white dragon - as a nod to the default dark urge white dragonborn sorcerer.

He is an assassin rogue because that is the closest thing to formal training he has gotten in the temple. Stalking his prey, stab and maim - blood blood blood - before they can even see you. Whisper in their dying ears that they died for Bhaal. Proper worship.

Sylas is a vengeance paladin because… well because he tried to break away from the doctrine. Twice. Once when he was a teenager and once not long before the Grand Plan actually began. He failed both times and returned the obedient son (you cant start out as an oathbreaker but in my heart he does).

6 - How does your Dark Urge react to waking up with memory loss?

Not… well? Let’s just say he left the room he woke up in a worse state then when he got there before finally moving on.

So yes, angry. Then panic when that has faded. Ultimately he hopes it’s just a bad side effect… except then it isn’t because none of his companions are like this. With every night he gets less agitated and more afraid. Settling into his bones as this near constant dread until pieces of his past start opening up to him.

11 - What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

His companions.

Specifically - Donatello Arivae. (my friend Melon’s Tav).

Without Donnie around Sylas would probably… give up resisting at some point. So if I ever do an evil durge run it will be with me pretending Donnie isn’t around.

Donnie - or Sunny as Sy mostly calls him - is a devotion paladin of Lathander. He talks Sylas trough the panic and is capable of subduing him most of the time if he ever loses control. Most importantly he believes so deeply in second chances and is the only one who takes the Urge seriously from day 1.

Donnie is a solid 80% of his continued motivation.

16 - What is your Dark Urge’s greatest desire?

Wow… I mean getting rid of the Urge is the obvious one right? Regaining his memory.

Though it becomes clear at some point… that he wasn’t a good person (that he likely never was). His greatest desire then becomes to be… a good person - or a decent one at least? Someone that doesn’t need an external conscience (donnie and wyll).

18 - How does your Dark Urge feel about love?

Complicated.

For Sylas love is devotion and worship. It is all he knows. Even without memory that is what he defaults to. That worship manifest in different ways.

He worships Astarion first - it becomes a deep platonic love one day but its worship first. Sylas worships Astarion by letting the vampire use him and his blood. He thinks it’s romantic love but it isn’t. (Sylas romances Astarion until That One Conversation and admits that they would be better as friends)

He fears Donnie before he loves him - and thus worships him - because Donnie is terrifying on the field (and Sylas respects that) but most of his fear comes from kindness and he doesn't understand why that openness fills him with terror ( he can't remember not being allowed to feel such things).

Love means devotion. Love means giving part of yourself and expecting nothing in return. Worship.

Trough his journey this perception shifts and he understands love to be give and take with the relationships he has build. A healthier look on love than he ever did since stepping foot into the Temple of Bhaal.

22- What first impression does your Dark Urge give off to strangers?

“What the fuck is up with that guy?” - most of the Gate probably.

Sylas has some odd visual quirks that look pretty… out there by even Faerun standards. His eyes are like fire, and the red leaking from his eyes doesn’t seem to be make-up on closer inspection. Other than that there’s the many scars and deep red tattoo’s.

The general impression is thus. “???”

For tieflings it is this… uncanny effect. He looks like a tiefling, but he is not. Not that they can tell what it specifically would be either but a lot of tieflings feel this weird dread when they make eye-contact with him. (I’m sure most of the grove tieflings get over that once they get to know him but it initial instinct is run).

Tysm for the MANY questions Kellan <3

Questions are from here!

#ask game #oc: sylas maeve #oc tag #zone of truth #bg3 #asks #kellan i love u sm and i would rip a man apart for you but also fuCKING HELL that was a lot kf questions in one go #I appreciate it so so so so so much 🧡 #but my fingers hate u for having had to type that by phone #i miss those phone with lil keyboards

[wornkindness]

MINI CHARACTER PLAYLIST

SHARE AT LEAST FIVE SONGS THAT REMIND YOU OF YOUR MUSE, OR THAT YOU ASSOCIATE WITH YOUR MUSE’S CHARACTER ARC. Including lyrics is optional.

i have idk like 6 playlist for amelia, but my main one for her has almost 100 songs because i have a problem. so i guess i’ll just list songs i’m currently vibing with the most

stronger than a lion - delta rae

oh yeah, you want to drag me down / i'm stronger than a lion when the jackals come around / you may think i'm weak, that my heart beats faint / but you shouldn't judge an engine by the car's ripped paint / baby, i'm a fighter in the robes of a saint / pull me through your fire, but i feel no pain / i'll be a survivor when i rise from the flames

daughter - sleeping at last

the sunlight shines a little brighter / the weight of the world's a little lighter / the stars lean in a little closer / all because of you […] this is your kingdom / this is your crown/ this is your story / this is your moment / don't look down / you're ready, born ready

all-american bitch - olivia rodrigo

and i make light of the darkness / i've got sun in my motherfucking pocket, best believe […] i am light as a feather / i'm as fresh as the air / coca-cola bottles that i only use to curl my hair / i got class and integrity / just like a goddamn kennedy / i swear / with love to spare […] i don't get angry when i'm pissed / i'm the eternal optimist / i scream inside to deal with it […] i'm sexy and i'm kind / i'm pretty when i cry

you're on your kid - taylor swift (this is more specifically tied to amelia queen’s arc)

from sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes / i gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this / i hosted parties and starved my body / like i'd be saved by a perfect kiss / the jokes weren't funny, i took the money / my friends from home don't know what to say / i looked around in a blood-soaked gown / and i saw something they can't take away / 'cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned / everything you lose is a step you take / so make the friendship bracelets / take the moment and taste it / you've got no reason to be afraid / you're on your own, kid / yeah, you can face this / you're on your own, kid / you always have been

history of man - maisie peters (again a song tied to amelia’s queen arc)

you didn't even falter / didn't look back once, did you? / so samson blamed delilah, but given half the chance i / i would have made him weaker too / sirens sounded, trumpets blaring / you walked out oh, without sweating […] the men start wars yet troy hates helen / women's hearts are lethal weapons / did you hold mine and feel threatened? / hear my lyrics, taste my venom […] i've seen it, in the poems and the sands / i've pleaded, with the powers and their plans

i hope you dance - lee ann womack

i hope you never lose your sense of wonder, / you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger, / may you never take one single breath for granted, / god forbid love ever leave you empty handed, / i hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, / whenever one door closes i hope one more opens, / promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, / and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. / i hope you dance… i hope you dance… / i hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, / never settle for the path of least resistance, / livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin', / lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin', / don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter, / when you come close to sellin' out reconsider, / give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, / and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance./ i hope you dance

tagged by: @debelltio (thank you friend uwu) tagging: you!

#&. i just really like sharks okay : ooc #this would be a novel if i explained why i put every song on her playlists #but i love these song based things sdkjhg #&. GENERAL #&. DASH

[simpingwriter]

Cal Kestis x Kyra Yarmot

'In the Name of Love' Pt.4 (1/2)

A/N: guess this one got too long oops-

I'm writing this all on Google Docs and unfortunately they got a word limit for Spellcheck. And I got carried away with this chapter, so for the sake of at least some grammatical editing, I had to split this one up to two parts. Maybe even 3ish, depending on how easily I can end the 2nd part of Chapter 4 because a bomb is getting dropped in that part...

I will post the 2nd part either still tonight, if I got enough fuel left, or tomorrow afternoon.

Enjoy (pls and thx :) )

Word Count: approx. 3000

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When you first set foot, or feet, onto the Bardottian Market – well, one of many, to be honest – you felt a totally different atmosphere to the one from yesterday.

Calmer, more civilized…less dirt.

And much less people, or the path was just bigger, letting it appear less packed than the other one.

"Wow, I can't hear a street fight around the next corner of these stalls. The other one…well", in the other one, you wouldn't have just heard the fights happening, chances were high you felt the blood of the one losing splatter onto your face when you choose to be stupid and pass directly by it.

And it was not exactly rare to end up in one yourself either, from totally not personal experience.

You nod in agreement while getting busy with scanning the stalls selling their farms' produce. The meat choices looked like their prices would put a miniature black hole in your wallet. But they also made your mouth water, knowing you couldn't afford them was like plain torture.

"Wait…over there. A Blue Milk Stand." Cal calls out excited – drawing some critiquing looks onto yourselves in turn, all quickly deterred with you snarling at them –, pointing like an overjoyed toddler towards said colorful stand, pulling you after him, giving you not much choice but to stumble after him, him to 100% oblivious to your suddenly heated up face.

The direct hand contact didn't make you blush yesterday…so why now??

"For a minute, I was worried about even finding Blue Milk all the way on Bardotta, since Banthas aren't part of the natural fauna. But I guess they just…shipped…them here??" That would probably be the case…

You weren't really sure either, shrugging once he let go of your now almost clammy hand again, still none the wiser to your very sudden reaction. Why should he, you dragged him through the streets hand in hand yesterday as well and didn't bat an eye at that moment of close contact.

Hell, you almost karking straddled him when you met and didn't react like this on the inside! Probably because of your peaking adrenaline fogging up your thoughts at that time, but who knows.

Holy karking bantha shit, you totally did straddle him...oh makers...

The blush that was on its verge of disappearing again, shot back into your face as your tried to shake the pictures from your head, at least for now.

"Okay, got the milk…can cross that one off at lea-... Kyra, you...okay there?" Instead of waving his hand in front of you – remembering the almost accident today – he simply poked your shoulder, barely getting any resistance back at first. But it did the trick. "Y-yeah? Oh, you already bought the blue milk?" "While you were occupied with daydreaming, yes. Are you really sure you're alright? If you don't feel well, I can finish the list myself, there shouldn't be that many any…ways…oh...oh no..."

He stopped himself as he looked down at the list written on a sheet of paper. You, curious, also took a glance.

It wasn't exactly what you would call small – not in your vocabulary at least –, the list.

Baffled, he clears his throat after a few moments of taking in the small list, "I stand by my words though, if you're not fe-" "I was just preoccupied with my thoughts for a moment, Cal. I'm fine, honestly." You assured him as you slipped the list from his hands to take a better look at it while he carefully put the milk bottles inside the backpack you decided to carry when you went out.

You became more than used to having to carrying heavy gear since you used to carry your entire life of clothes and resources on your back – before Cal found you of course – so this wasn't going to break your back just yet. Dragon People once were supposed to be "working animals", your whole evolutionary line filled with traits to do and carry a lot of work, be it holding out extreme lengths of bloody wars or just farm work.

Sometimes though, you had to question if you have really gotten all these traits. Sure, you could carry a lot of stuff for a long period of time…but you had your limitations on that and they looked awfully human and fragile for your heritage, if you looked at the apparent feats they had accomplished centuries ago...

"Is Cere sure we can find all these things here?" You scan the list over and over, some standing out to be bound to certain planets and their cultures. Mentally, you skipped over those after making sure you wouldn't find them here. It shrunk the list not by a lot though.

"We all wrote stuff on it freely, we never know when and where we get to restock…so I don't think so. We just have to try our luck with most of them."

You now mentally list the things needed on them:

Pack of paper

New Tool harness (Cal)

Chewstim (Cal and Merrin)

1 pack of vacuumized Stimcaf (Cal)

3 packs of vacuumized Coffee

2 packs of Chocolate Cookies (Greez)

Huge amounts of various cooking ingredients (Greez)

Synthmilk (no name)

Gatalentan Tea (Merrin)

Gesha Tea (Cere)

Karlini Tea (Greez)

10 bottles of Water

Pack of Toilet Paper

…

"By the makers, I think we need to go twice, alone because of the water bottles, the backpack isn't even big enough for that…" Cal mutters irritated at the list, shaking his head, some more unkept locks of red falling into his face, "Why didn't they all come with us?" He said quietly to himself, but you caught it just all too well, keeping quiet anyways. If someone whispers, they probably didn't plan for it to be heard. So you play none the wiser…again.

"That's fine with me…but the more important question…who the hell put Synthmilk on there?!?"

Tried it once, puked once. That stuff was the karking worst you had put into your mouth at that point. Sure, later you would have to take that back, finding out what a bowl of Gruel that went bad from standing in the way too humid air of Gelgelar for probably…hours...tasted like. Hadn't gotten out of the refresher for actual hours either.

"Don't know, but I guess we'll just get it? If we even find it. Never had it myself, so you might need to help me with finding it." "It's absolutely not worth the credits…but yeah, let's just buy it. And even if just to find the nasty ass culprit." Walking away from the Blue Milk Stand, Cal laughs at your pure and unfiltered hatred for Synthmilk before taking the list back from your claws, saying it must be oh so very heavy for you. What a jokester.

Jokesters get pushed. The pusher gets pushed back. In the end, you're both dizzy, laughing like idiots as you stumble down the market paths.

You're both just childish, but you could very well look past that for such good company as Cal.

While he had to hide his lightsaber higher up under his Poncho, you were still left without yours, it being another thought doing extra and extra rounds in your head at night. You needed it back. But you didn't even know where that Karker went with it, if he even still had it or if he long sold it. And where the possible seller went or what they did with it.

With your great – absolute bantha shit – luck, it's been taken apart, its pieces and your kyber crystal out on the black market for the highest, most certainly dubious bidder…

"You're missing your lightsaber…" How did he- "You have been staring at mine all morning…I just didn't find the right time to mention it." Oh, yeah…that does make sense.

"Sorry for that… It's just…it was taken from me in a moment of weakness, Cal. Not just that I lost it bothers me…", it kept reminding you of the fact that you lost in that encounter with an enemy. It ate at you, like a damned parasite, you couldn't even keep your lightsaber safe, not even THAT.

How were you supposed to keep those apparent Force Sensitive Children safe if you ever found them? There weren't many adult Jedi left that could teach them the right way…

And just for the sake of…of whatever was left of the old Jedi Order, you should not be one of the people to continue the teachings. You never used to like following these stupid rules too much yourself.

Not to forget, the dead Council would twist in their not-too-nice graves if you would teach them. You were taught partial Dark Side Arts by your late Master, if anything, you would've been a traitor to them if they had ever found out what happened right under their noses.

Squinting at yourself for slowly losing total track of your busy train of thoughts, you sigh out, shaking your head dismissively, "I can't keep hanging myself up on it, I know that myself, you don't need to think that for me…because i know you are.".

You just wished for at least a sliver of a clue to its current location, or even its last…

"I will do anything in my power to help you find it, Kyra..." He promised to you, an almost pained but a certainly strong expression on his freckled face, "Since I'm guessing yours also belonged to someone you once knew." Of course it did, you…you weren't trusted with your own yet at that time, left with a stupid training lightsaber when the attack happened, unable to hurt even a bug with the weak blade the Kathracite in it would create, unlike the actual Kyber Crystals.

Or Bondar Crystals, oh boy. For the, ehem, "shock value" as your master used to joke.

They really weren't fun to get hit with but indeed a shocking experience, to not get sliced to dragon meat dices on immediate impact....

"It belonged to my master…" even more why you needed it back.

Its the last thing you had left of him. The last physical thing. His unusual teachings would never leave your head, his stories of his adventures of crossing the Galaxy before becoming a teacher for Younglings and Padawans like you and his own, very special ways of explaining his points of view always kept close to your heart.

"So just like mine?" The whole time while you went to talk about your lightsabers, you had to remember to tone it down a lot more than usual, your eyes constantly busy making sure nobody in the crowd stood out for being with the Empire. Or even a local was enough right now, this being Bardotta.

During that, you chipped a good portion of the list off, the backpack growing heavier and heavier by each stall you passed. Until Cal unfortunately interrupts your well flowing conversation, seconds after you told an absolutely horrible joke you heard from an old companion of yours, Cal choking at the punchline to a point you had to help him cough his water back up, "Wait- Wait…I think we really should get some of the stuff back to the ship now…" He looked at you and the backpack with an amount of worry you hadn't felt being laid upon you for too long.

It weirdly enough felt really nice, knowing that for once, not everyone thought of you like some unbeatable and inexhaustible creature - even if it was just him. Well okay, with the way he liked to shamelessly admire your nonhuman parts, you couldn't be 100% sure he didn't think you're a creature at least to a certain degree.

"Sure. But no big talky talky breaks with Merrin and the rest, it's going to get dark sooner or later. Bardotta gets cold at night…" you turn on your heels, having kept the way back to the ship somewhat memorized, holding back a laugh as Cal took a moment to realize you actually agreed to his plan instead of arguing, stuck in place, brain buffering like a terrible HoloNet connection, yelling for you to wait for him as he jogs back up to walk next to you. "Well, not that cold though…I'm sure this place looks really nice at night, i mean, look at all the lights around the stalls!"

He was right, there are alot of fairy lights strewn about…

"I don't know…it does sound nice. But, well…" you rub your arm in embarrassment, remembering the undoubtedly incredibly childish teasing back in your not-too-long-ago childhood. Even though you should've grown out of that memory by now. "I get cold real easily…i wouldn't want to ruin this for you with my constant shivering…I'm sure Merrin wouldn't say no to it though! She would be thrilled to see them as well!"

The two of you had nearly left the market as you unexpectedly got stopped by Cal, eyebrows uncharacteristically knitted together as he looked down to you, just a head taller than you, thinking about what to actually say for a minute.

"She definitely would, sure. I definitely could, sure. But I want to get to know you a bit better. Without Greez panicking every two seconds about you devouring him head to toe in his sleep and Merrin interrupting me." He let go of your shoulders, hands falling back down to his sides, something you didn't even register as you were busy staring up into his eyes. The eyes you, without any filter whatsoever, called pretty yesterday before heading to bed.

And you would never take it back. They were pretty, especially in addition to his overall handsome face…wait no!

"Also, please don't worry about feeling cold, if you really got such a bad problem with it. I meant it when I said you could get some of my Ponchos as well, I guarantee you, on BD, there is a warm and cozy one under them!" Immediately BD seemed to almost glare at Cal in disbelief and you didn't know how you discerned that from his usual "expression" but you're sure he was, a small and muted beep that translated to 'Rude' was the only thing he had to say.

As you continued walking, him telling you with passion about all his favorite Ponchos, the one he wanted to show and gift to you specifically, you felt a weird tug at your heart. All the time, you had been so so lonely, the loneliness eating at your live conscious at some nights, you nearly forgot what it was like to have someone actually caring for one and their personal opinions, for their wellbeing even. After a certain event after the purge, you never had spent long enough with people to get to know them, for them to get to know you, neither did it ever matter, all having been short acquaintances solely to get you from Planet A to Planet B. Or C. Or D.

None of them even bothered to ask about you…and with the kind of people you had to travel sometimes, you were very glad about that.

Why was it feeling differently with Cal then?

Because you knew you would stay with them for a while? Because you wanted to stay for a while?

Cal stops at the front of the raised door of the ship, using his comm link to tell Cere that you were back with the first things on the list for now. The door opened quickly, letting both of you back onto the Mantis. After waving a quick 'hey' to Merrin – while also informing her of having found her requested Tea – who was reading a book in the living room, you left the backpack leaning against the couch, hoping at least someone felt inclined to unpack it.

Cal didn't give you lot of time, keeping you to your own words a few minutes ago and already went to usher you back to the quarters in the engine room you shared, teasing you about the fact that you told him to not waste time with talking to the others for too long.

BD, who was until a few minutes ago, surprisingly quiet during the whole trip, hopped off his shoulder to stretch his small legs, a chuckle quick to follow from you, "Since when do Droids need to stretch?"

'Ever since I only get taken to boring missions!' He beeps back irritated before quickly resuming his place back up higher. This time it was your upper back and shoulders as he beeps quickly, 'Quick, take me on an actual adventure, oh pretty pretty Kyra!'

Rummaging through his drawer, Cal scoffs playfully at BD's theatrical request, "You say it like we don't get nearly shot dead on sight on every second planet we decide to set foot on! I would call that pretty adventurous..." He mumbles the last part with fake hurt in his voice.

'Those aren't adventures. Those are eventual death traps…'

From his mention to their danger, your thoughts went to the eventual first real mission for you on the Mantis. Well, would've, weren't it for Cal's thought-puncturing shout, "HA! Found it! This one should be perfect for your little dilemma!"

In his hands he held a nearly white poncho, some grey scale specks over it. The inside looked not just insulated, you were sure you saw some warm fur coating poking out at the folded edges. A cold climate poncho. Clearly not perfect for actual subzero regions…since it was a karking Poncho for crying out loud, but it would be great for cold nights on normal planets.

You wondered where he got it from, your hands naturally going out to grab it from his. A short, yet unexpected brush of his own hands, slightly roughed up and a bit dry from training, sent immediate shivers down your spine and your first "most logical" reaction was to let go of the Poncho in shock, hearing it drop to the ground with a muted thud. For a moment he was about to say something before just smiling at you. "Sorry, thought you had it already, slippery fingers I guess!"

Was the redhead aware of the sudden skin contact and your increasingly stupid behavior today and he just... played it off…or did he really not notice when you pulled your hands off of his like he physically burned you? Which wasn't possible by the way. Dragon People were almost all "fireproof".

You wouldn't make matters worse, nodding at his comment, "Happens sometimes if you got fingers like mine." Wasn't even a total lie, claws were sometimes difficult to do certain things with. And you couldn't even shorten them by a lot, blood vessels starting to run through them at some point. "I think they look…" He stops himself to think, looking at them intently while he crouches down to pick the thick Poncho back up, "I think they look not just cool. They look good on you, they suit you...a dragon without claws would look odd though, wouldn't they?" They definitely would, it was one of your main defense or offense tactics after all.

For your comfort's sake, he seemed to notice that for some reason, he left the conversation subject at that for now, walking back to the main living area with you once more. The backpack was luckily actually empty again, so without much of a break, only to quickly take a sip from the water bottle you took for yourself during breakfast today, like you warned him and he teased you, you once more left the Mantis to go and buy the rest of the list.

And just like you predicted, night came in quickly. Very quickly. Only three hours later, the sun had nearly fully set, only a few of its rays left scattered across the ground as it disappeared behind a distant snowed in mountain.

Now the streets were only illuminated by the Bardottan Moon and street lights. But also by one third important thing, the sole reason you stayed out this long anyways.

Before you even had the chance to start shivering, also like you predicted, Cal took the liberty to take the Poncho from the backpack's strap from its current place on the ground where you put the once again heavy object for a short break. You weren't able to get your question about 'what he was doing exactly' out when he was already carefully placing the poncho over your head, taking note of your wings and horns – trying his absolute hardest to not accidentally brush against the later after your very obvious reaction about them yesterday.

A small sheepish wave when your head popped back out on the other end of the opening woke you from your trance, staring in surprised awe at him, "Hello there, welcome to comfy town." He sang, a bright undoubtedly happy smile on his face, using your moment of needing to mentally hard reboot yourself to reach for the backpack himself this time, a huff leaving his lips.

Back to reality, you're about to protest about him carrying it, when he stops you with his single-gloved hand, telling you it was alright if he carried it now. He was strong as well after all, not like you, but he wouldn't break and fall apart like the plastic brick toys you both apparently got to know after a heated discussion about them this morning. You vaguely remember the name Jego, initial envy playing a big part in those memories. Envy you had to swallow as a Padawan back then. Until you got a set on one of your sparsely celerated birthdays, a gift from the commander of the Clone Troop that served under your Master.

"Come, stop daydreaming for once. I wanna see the lights…we won't get this much time everyday for a while now, so we should enjoy it while it lasts. Or while the rest don't actively collect us to leave again of course." Once again, as if automatic, his bigger hands found yours. It also – once more – sent more shivers down your scaley spine, feeling your wings subtly react to said shiver as well. But you left your hand right in his anyways, the warmth radiating alone from just his hands feeling incredible.

Getting to the nicely decorated stalls was even easier now, the shopping crowd gone now that the actual market was closed for the night. That only left you, other visitors and general off world tourists, all those that weren't already used to the bright lights basically lighting up the night on their own. Fairy lights were a weird thing, so small and yet they managed to bring so much simple joy to a whole mass of people.

All by just doing their job. By doing only as they were supposed to do.

"Look, those even change their color, Cal!" You point out to one in particular, the colors ranging from pink all the way to orange, the most vivid variations of the colors in between being showcased. It transfixed both of you almost immediately as you both had the same baffled expression on your faces, mouths hanging slightly open. "I…I never saw such things on the other planets…not the colorful ones at least."

And especially not at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant…

(To part 2 of chapter 4)

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#cal kestis x reader #star wars fallen order #cal kestis #cal kestis x oc #fallen order cal kestis

[xthelastknownsurvivorx]

Week 35: Magic (Hi Boyfriend)

trans!henry hurt comfort, cw for misgendering, transphobia

Some days Henry just wants to give up. Buckle under the pressure of "her royal highness", "princess", and "don't end up like your sister." Sometimes even "you're just confused, misled." Choose the path of least resistance of marriage and children, his sense of self smothered under layers of makeup and dresses and forced politeness. Maybe, he tries to convince himself, it wouldn't be that bad.

But then he looks up to find warm brown eyes on him, hears a soft "hi boyfriend." When he sinks into Alex's arms, the madness that is the rest of the world disappears like magic.

--

for the weekly 100 word challenge by @thebrownstone

cross-posted on ao3 here

read the entire collection from the beginning here

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #firstprince #rwrb fic #rwarb #alex and henry #rwrb weekly 100 theme #rwrb weekly 100 #rwrb weekly 100: week 35

[magiamemoriareview]

Holding Hands to Tomorrow

Obtainability: Limited to purchasing from the Support Point shop during Madoka’s Birthday (October 2022).

MLB Effect: HP Restore [35%] (Self) & Defense Up [37.5%] (Self / 3 Turns)

Effect Definitions:

HP Restore will instantly restore health to the character upon activating the effect.

Defense Up increases the target’s base defense stats. Defense Up is generally worse than Damage Cut.

TLDR: This memoria is Enhancement Fodder for most players. It can see use in Magia Stall strategies but otherwise is outclassed by more offensive gameplay.

Review: “Holding Hands to Tomorrow” has a few possible uses but is largely forgettable. It’s a defensive memoria in a game that doesn’t reward defensive strategies-- you are almost always better off going with more offense than defense in this game. 

With that said, it gives a high amount of Defense up for three turns. This actually puts it in the same range as several limited and unlimited memoria:

(3*) “The Strongest, Even at Basketball” Defense Up [60%] & Status Ailment Resistance Up [50%] (Self / 1 Turn)

(Limited Gacha 4*) “Equal Destruction to All” Defense Up [52.5%] & Attack Up [35%] & Provoke [100%] (Self / 1 Turn)  

(Limited Gacha 4*) “Even Games Are Serious” Defense Up [52.5%] (Self / 1 Turn) & Attack Down [65%] (One / 1 Turn)

(3*) “She'll Definitely Be Happy” Defense Up [52.5%] & Attack Up [40%] (Self / 1 Turn)

(Limited Gacha 3*) “Unexpected Real Intentions” Defense Up [45%] (Self / 1 Turn) & Attack Up [30%]

(2*) “Closely Watched Heart” Defense Up [45%] (Self / 1 Turn)

(Limited Welfare 4*) “Until Late Tonight” Defense Up [37.5%] (Self / 3 Turns) & HP Restore [35%] (Self)

(Limited Welfare 4*) “Holding Hands to Tomorrow” Defense Up [37.5%] & HP Restore [35%] (Self) (Self / 3 Turns)

(Limited Gacha 4*) “The Wind Rising Before The Resolve” Defense Up [37.5%] & Attack Up [30%] & Critical Hit [30%] (Self / 3 Turns)

(4*) “I Won't Stray From This Path” Defense Up [37.5%] & Attack Up [30%] (Self / 3 Turns)

(4*) “Survival Date on a Deserted Island” Defense Up [37.5%] & Anti-Debuff [2 Debuffs] & Attack Up [30%] (Self / 3 Turns)

You’ll note that the only memoria that have higher Defense Up all last for one turn or have some features that make them less desirable to use outside of special circumstances. This makes this memoria useful at least for purely defensive purposes-- you don’t need to worry about lower stats like you would with the three-star options and the fact that it will last for three turns means your equipped unit can stay safer for longer.

When comparing effects, Defense Up isn’t generally as good as Damage Cut for a character’s protection, but still-- 37.% Defense Up can still help a character survive and it’s better than nothing.

The HP Restore on this memoria is useful, but note that it is different from something like Regenerate HP. The HP Restore will apply to your character right away, while Regenerate HP will apply after the enemy’s turn is over. This can be good or wasteful. It means that this is a good “oh-shit” memoria to press if a character is in danger of dying, but it also means that you’ll waste the HP Restore if you’re trying to take preventative measures.

Because of how defensive this memoria is, it’s best used on Tanks and in Magia Stall Teams. It’s cooldown is too long to be of use in areas like Mirrors or Ranking and it offers nothing helpful for places like Kimochi.

The last thing to note would be that there is another memoria in the game that is exactly the same as this one:

(Limited Welfare 4*) “Until Late Tonight” Defense Up [37.5%] (Self / 3 Turns) & HP Restore [35%] (Self)

If you already have a lot of really good memoria and don’t need to rely on defensive strategies such as Magia Stall, you can treat “Holding Hands to Tomorrow” as Enhancement Fodder. However if you do struggle or if you’re just starting out, keep this memoria around.

#Magia Record #Four Star Memoria #Welfare Memoria #Login Bonus Memoria #Madoka’s Birthday (October 2022) #Event Shop Memoria #HP Restore #HP Restore Active #Defense Up #Defense Up Active #Madoka Kaname #Event Bonus Memoria #Enhancement Fodder #Defensive Memoria #Magia Stall Team Memoria

[forestlingincorporated]

Thanks for the write up about Tim meeting Dick for the first time and how his introduction to the comics was handled. I noticed that in one scene he had a camera and was riding around on his bike. I hear people say that Tim never rode around Gotham and stalked took pictures of Batman and Robin. I will confess I have not read a lot of Batman comics, especially from that time frame.

Do you know if this happened in the comics or if was just created by fandom?

Hey Anon! Thanks for the quesion.

I have actually talked about this before, so if you want comic panels you can read that over, but I'll run through it again.

So, the thing about Tim's backstory, is for everything we DO know for certain about Tim, there's actually a lot left unknown, or otherwise left up for interpretation.

Tim canonically stalked Batman at night to take photos of him on school break at least once. Tim canonically found Starfire's home address and traveled to her apartment by himself to see if Dick was there once. He canonically found Dick's old apartment and broke in on his own. He canonically traveled to Haly's Circus alone, with his camera, where he finally meets Dick again.

The point of contention is if this is something Tim does regularly. Canonically, we only SEE Tim do these things in his effort to prove something is wrong with Batman and convince Dick Grayson to return to the mantel of Robin. Tim has a scrapbook of Batman's adventures, but it's mostly made up of newspaper articles. Some people extrapolate this to mean that Tim ONLY did this the one time. Others (myself included) extrapolate that Tim is FAR TOO SKILLED at these tasks to have never done it before.

So, is it canon? ...Strictly speaking, no. But for this particular bit of fanon, there's precident, and the interpretation that this was a one off thing is ALSO not supported by the text - Tim never SAYS he did this regularly, but he also never SAYS he didn't. Tim's backstory actually doesn't come up that often after he's integrated into the team. We only get teeny scraps of his childhood, and a lot is left to the imagination.

For those in camp "it's not canon," there is actually a burden of explination for why Tim is so skilled at getting around long distances alone, taking photographs unnoticed, and avoiding capture by adults... which is kind of a big ask, and creates a new set of fanon. The Baby Stalker fanon is honestly the path of least resistence, because it's an easy and canon-rooted explination for Tim's skills and behavior. Anything else really has to be invented wholesale until DC provides an official explination.

Things that 100% ARE fanon:

Tim did this every night.

A hard sell, considering we don't know for sure if he did it prior to Jason's death at all. Tim attended multiple boarding schools prior to meeting the Waynes. There is very little chance he could have snuck out every single night - not completely impossible, I suppose, but it sounds like a pain in the ass. On the other hand, canonically the Drakes don't come home for EVERY holiday or break, which gives Tim time to pursue a bird watching hobby if that's what he chose to do with his time.

Tim stalked Batman and Robin since he was nine.

Tim knew Batman and Robin's identities since he was nine. Again, we're unclear on if the stalking happened prior to age thirteen.

Tim was the Waynes' neighbor.

This is less fanon as it is misconception. Tim BECAME the Waynes neighbor after he became Robin, having convinced his dad to move them into the more wheelchair friendly manor next to the Wayne estate when he awoke from his coma. This happened very early on, and it's easy to miss and think Tim was ALWAYS the Waynes neighbor - which, honestly, I don't mind, cause making Tim their neighbor from the start has some interesting storytelling avenues, but... no, it's not canon.

Prior to living at Drake Manor, the Drakes had a couple residences, including at least one apartment and a town home. They move into the town home when Jack lost Drake Industries to bad investments. Jack intends to move into the Robinson Park Penthouse before Tim convinces him to buy Drake Manor (Batman #480), and Tim occationally stayed at the Mooney Towers Penthouse near Wayne Tower (Robin Annual 2 & Robin #3) - these could be two seperate apartments, or different names for the same apartment. If they're different apartments, we never see the Robinson Penthouse.

Notably, these homes would actually make it easier for Tim to sneak out at night, since they're in the city, rather than the Bristol Township Drake Manor is situated in.

Tim stalked the bats on rooftops.

I see this in fics, and if Tim did stalk them at night from the city penthouses, I wouldn't say it's unreasonable for him to climb up to the rooftops, but we only ever see Tim traveling by bus or bicycle prior to becoming Robin. He's also more likely to drive the Red Bird or his motorcycle as Robin, and primarily does the rooftop thing when out with other vigilantes, though he sometimes does do it by himself.

#answered asks

[themirokai]

An ask game for you! 💕

📄What's a WIP you never finished that you would like to go back and revisit?

🔍Give a clue (a picture, emoji, a word, etc) and let your followers guess what a WIP is about.

📝Share a snippet of an unposted WIP, with or without context. (Because I love reading sneak peaks)

Thank you so much for the ask!

📄What's a WIP you never finished that you would like to go back and revisit?

Oh that would 100% be my Star Wars fic. I’ve posted 3/4 of it and written some of the last chapter and basically know what happens but…. it just stymies me. Maybe with The Mandalorian season 3 starting soon I’ll be inspired to pick it up again.

🔍Give a clue (a picture, emoji, a word, etc) and let your followers guess what a WIP is about.

🐠🥣 (Which is probably the most obvious clue in the Sandman fandom but… you don’t know what I’m doing with it!)

📝Share a snippet of an unposted WIP, with or without context. (Because I love reading sneak peaks)

This is the very beginning of my sequel to Loverboy which is the only bit I can really post without massive spoilers.

It was getting dark, but Hob wasn’t worried. He continued along the path, using Dream’s pull to find his way through the Dreaming. Dream was probably just dealing with a nightmare, he assured himself.

“CAW!”

There was a flapping in the gloom around Hob’s feet.

“Matthew?!”

“What the fuck, loverboy? You almost stepped on me!”

“Sorry! What are you doing just standing around in the dark?”

Matthew didn’t speak for a moment and Hob squinted to try to see him in the darkness.

“You can feel him, right?” Matthew’s voice was quiet.

“Yeah. He’s nearby. That way.” Hob pointed ahead into the murk.

“Right,” Matthew said. “But I can’t get to him. It’s like… he’s locked me out but without a door. See if you can keep going.”

Hob took a step forward and then another. As he passed Matthew he began to feel resistance, like something was pushing him back. Hob pushed harder and advanced.

“There’s definitely a barrier,” he told Matthew, “but I think I can make it through.”

“Good! Good. Go make sure he’s ok. I’ll - I’ll be here.”

That’s Coming Soon! Or at least coming as soon as I can write the ending to it, since - thanks to my experience with that Star Wars fic - I am never again posting something I haven’t finished.

Wanna know more about my WIPs? Here’s an ask game!

#mirokai writes #miro does sandman #matthew the emotional support raven #the sandman

[holocene-sims]

ok random bonus q: if ryan and grant were friends (which they totally would imo) would they help each other work through issues or just enable each other and be sad bois lmao

thank you for the ❤️ BONUS ❤️ ask!! idk why i'm answering this one first but i am dfjskfjkdsfjds

tbh grant is not an enabler at all. he struggles to get over his own issues but he also hates that he has them and he really does fight to try and stay on the right path and to pursue healing. he did super well for a long time, he was 100% sober except for cigarettes and a bit of social drinking up until very recently in the story (when you know who cheated on him...) and keeping that all in check was something he desperately wanted. so i think grant could never enable anyone else because he'd be afraid it would push him to do the same things he used to again

unless it is cigarettes or some alcohol because grant can't manage to quit either of those...in which case he might enable

i also think grant would rather help ryan through it or at least give him support or a listening ear instead because grant is a caring guy. no matter what, he wants his friends and family to be happy and if he can support that person in any way, he will want to do that. grant would do anything for his loved ones. he's hardcore loyal. he would 100% believe ryan deserves healing and happiness, but he does believe you can't reach that without properly working through your issues. grant has tried the "just push it down and pretend it's not there" thing and sure, it worked for a long time, but it eventually caved in when he met resistance (...cheating and the health issues...) and he wouldn't want ryan to repeat those mistakes

question is would ryan think he's a bit too much of a goody-two-shoes for thinking this way? LMAO 😭 what would ryan's approach be? do you think he'd be more of a sad boi enabler or would he want to work through issues?

#asks #ryan/grant solidarity <3 kings <3 #hlcn: grant #hlcn: oc info #hlcn: story extras

[todaygwenlearned]

Alexander Berkman: What is Communist Anarchism? Chapter 23: Non-Communist Anarchism.

In this chapter Alexander Berkman criticises the two other major schools of anarchism in his time as he sees them, which are individualist anarchists and mutualists. He is only comparing schools of anarchism and not comparing anarchism or anarcho-communism to capitalism or Marxist-Leninism.

Berkman asserts that communist anarchism would be the most desirable and practical form of society. What I think he means by this is that it would strike a balance between most desirable and most practical, maximizing both.

He asserts that all anarchists believe that government means injustice and oppression, that it's invasive and that it enslaves. He says that freedom can only exist in a society where there is no compulsion of any kind.

While anarcho-communists believe that only a social revolution can abolish government and establish anarchy, he says that only anarcho-communists have a viable path to that anarchy. He says that individualist anarchists do not believe in revolution but that present society will gradually develop out of a governmental to a non-governmental condition. That it'll just happen if they educated people about anarchism. The individualists are described by Berkman as followers of Stirner, Tucker, and Tolstoy. The Tolstoyan anarchists, in particular, he says, believe in non-resistance, which he implies is a non-starter as radical politics go.

He concedes that mutualists at least have a plan, but that the plan is flawed. He says that mutualists say that the real problem in society is that the tendency toward monopoly guarantees wealth inequality and that the remedy to that is mutualist banking that gives out free loans with no interest. They say that monopolies can only exist if governments enforce them and that by abolishing government there can be no more monopolies and gradually the spread of wealth will become narrower and narrower with the rich being not that rich and the poor being not very poor. Berkman's major criticism of mutualism is that any kind of barter or trade requires a system of private property, which must be enforced. The difference between this proposal and anarcho-communism is that the latter proposes the social ownership of all the means of production and the products produced with them. This means that anyone can use the means of production because they belong to everyone, no one is restricted from using them. But when you take into consideration the generations of knowledge and the social nature of production, it's baseless to claim that anything you make solely belongs to you.

Like, for instance, if I make a drawing and sell it for $100, nobody would dispute that that $100 is mine and that the drawing now belongs to the person I sold it to. But in order to make that drawing I drew upon the labour of at least dozens of other people and the distilled and synthesized knowledge of countless artists that I've learned from and been influenced by. Now, the paper and the pencil and the pen and the ink I've all already paid for, but I am only obligated to pay for those things because they're all produced in a capitalist mode of production that deprives each worker along the chain of production from raw materials to useable tools of the right to dispose of these products as they wish. In the absence of that it would be at the very least tacky to demand something in exchange for my product.

The way Berkman describes mutualists sounds very much like anarcho-capitalism inasmuch as it seems to require everyone promising not to unduly exploit or coerce their fellow being. That as long as everyone upholds the principles of mutualism everything will work out great. This reminds me of the anarcho-capitalist idea of the non-violence principle (NVP). The idea of the NVP is that in an anarcho-capitalist society everything will work fine and everyone will be fine as long as nobody does any violence to each other. I think that's a tall order to say the least. Putting aside for a moment that the violence of the state is required to enforce the right to private property, these utopians believe that people who have no work and are starving will place the NVP above their own hunger. It's fantastical.

One criticism I have of Berkman is that I don't believe that government is the sole source of oppression in a capitalist society. For certain it has the power to oppress and indeed that is its function, but it doesn't do it for its own sake or benefit. It does it for the owning class, the capitalist class. Government is merely an mechanism through which privilege is maintained through repression. Government is certainly the enemy of anarchy, but it is merely a front for the real power.

#politics #political theory #anarchism #anarchist communism #anarcho communism #alexander berkman #today i learned