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mariatesstruther · 4 months

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okay just hear me out modern au where tommy ends up picking up ellie from pre school almost everyday since joel is busy but he keeps meeting teacher maria

okay bestie as a preschool teacher you GOT me with this one. like you got me SO GOOD. this might actually get published to ao3, you got me soooo fuckin’ good right now. i have so many unnecessary details for such a simple plot so here’s a cut

tbh i feel like even as busy as joel is, he’d prioritize picking up and dropping of sarah as much as he can, so maybe he and tommy would alternate???? so on days when tommy drops off, joel picks up and when joel drops off, tommy picks up. sarah goes to a public preschool with a lot of kids, so she gets easily overwhelmed and sometimes needs extra cuddles or kind words in the mornings to make it out of the car.

one monday, a couple months into school, sarah is particularly VERY anxious because there’s a new teacher to replace ms. doherty, who quit unexpectedly on friday “because she said we gave her alooooottt of headaches, daddy.” now, sarah knows nothing about the new teacher except that shes a girl from a place called new york—and sarah doesn’t even know what new yawk IS like, thats So Far Away??? (“it’s not really that far, baby,” joel says to her. “and it’s new york. with an o sound.”) still, sarah is VERY concerned:

is new yawk like another planet???? (no, babygirl.) but what if she’s an alien???? (the school only hires human teachers, baby. they promised.) but what if she’s a SECRET alien??? (she won’t be, i promise.) okay but what if she’s mean???? (if she is, you tell me or tommy and we’ll talk to her about it, okay? she shouldn’t be mean to you.) what if she doesn’t play good music at quiet time???? (you can ask her nicely and i bet she will, baby. just say please and thank you, okay?)

still, even with her questions answered, sarah is very nervous on monday. both joel and tommy go with her in an effort to start her day off extra good, especially because joel can’t pick her up. they reassure her that new york has plenty of nice people and her new teacher will probably be one of them. she also gets TWO WHOLE extra minutes of cuddle time with BOTH of them before she and daddy have to leave the car—it’s half for her and half for them, because they’re honestly pretty anxious for her to like her new teacher too

joel is the one to hold sarah’s hand and walk her inside, because the school prefers only one guardian to drop off at a time. tommy’s nervous, but joel actually seems pretty pleased when he gets back to the car with no sarah in tow. surprisingly, he’s back faster than any time they’ve ever dropped sarah off before. with a proud smile, he tells tommy is that miss maria seems really nice. more importantly, she’s Black, which joel says Sarah got really excited about. tommy pries for more details, and he’s glad he does: apparently miss maria has locs, a few even blue and purple, and the first thing sarah’d said to her was an emphatic “😲😍🤩 i like your hair!!!!!!!!,” to which she had responded “thank you! i like your hair! what’s your name, sweets?” and that’d been that

later, when tommy does pickup that day, he doesn’t know what to expect. most times at the end of the day, sarah is super reserved and a bit cranky, eager to get home to finally have time to herself. tommy’s goal is usually to try and get her to at least wave goodbye to her teachers like joel asks—but, more often than not, she opts for reaching for uppies and hiding her face in his chest until they leave.

today??? no. it takes sarah a full two minutes to even notice tommy’s there because her and this drop-dead-fucking-gorgeous woman in a soft-looking lavender pants and blouse set are finishing up a painting at the easel wall. they’re working on what looks like a brown and purple butterfly, probably the most carefully shaped sarah’s ever made.

tommy’s heart stops when this goddess miss maria finally looks over at him and smiles with perfect pearly-whites, waving him over behind sarah’s back. when she says “sarah honey, i think someone’s here for you!” in her sing-songy toddler-tone, tommy swears an angel gets his wings. sarah turns around, shrieks with joy upon seeing him, and runs down to him with her arms out, yelling all the while: “THOMMYYYYYYY!!!!!”—because sarah’s still working on her hard ts—“thommy!!!! thommy thommy thommy come look!!! i made a butterfly for u!!!!! look!!!!! it matches ms. maria!!!!!! it’s gorgeous!!!!” (she’s been obsessed with calling things gorgeous ever since she heard tommy say it about a harley motorbike last week. joel especially thinks it’s cute, especially because of how she over-emphasizes the j-sound: gor-Jus.)

tommy’s never seen her so excited to show her art off at pickup-time before; usually, she waits until they’re home and she’s feeling less shy to start showing off, but she’s babbling and pointing to it as he picks her up and sets her on his hip: “it’s brown and purple like miss maria!!! isnt it so gorgeous, unca thommy??? do you like it???? aren’t they SO gorgeous????”

and now miss maria is looking at him. and he’s looking at her. tommy knows he’s blushing, and he hesitates—which sarah does NOT appreciate, so she says: “unca tommy!!!!!!! don’t be WUDE! thell miss maria she’s gorgeous!!! she is!!!”

luckily, miss maria saves him by explaining, in a slightly firmer teaching voice: “sarah sweets, that’s okay! we’re only just meeting, and that’s not really something you say to a stranger, okay?”

“but why noooooooot?? you are gorgeous! like my butterfly! isn’t she so gorgeous, thommy?”

“well, yeah, of course,” tommy agrees easily, because she obviously is—and shit. now miss maria is looking at him like he’s a fucking bonehead, because he obviously fucking is. “but—uh, i mean—she’s right, hon’. you gotta listen to your teacher, and that’s not somethin’ you say to a stranger, okay?”

but then, after thinking to her tiny self for a few seconds: “well if she stays my teacher then she’s not a stranger, is she???” sarah asks tommy, then turns her conniving little head towards maria, too. “and you said you’d stay! so can he say you’re gorgeous tomorrow?” then, without waiting for an answer, she’s back towards tommy to finish: “i think you should call her gorgeous tomorrow.”

“i think we should go home, s’what i think,” tommy says, finally deciding to save himself from four-year-old torment. he sets sarah down and pats her on the end with a gentle but firm request to go get her stuff from her cubby, which she goes to do without her complaints of being too tired to walk. maria watches them closely with a close-lipped but relaxed grin. when sarah’s out of earshot, he apologizes. “sorry ‘bout that, ma’am.”

“don’t be,” miss maria teases, crossing her arms. “you did call me gorgeous, after all. i’ve had worse introductions.”

“tommy miller,” he offers, moving to shake her hand. he notices her nails are done-up, a sparkly blend of pretty shades of purple that look tie-dyed on somehow. her hands aren’t soft, not really, but they’re smooth enough to make him shiver as he pulls away. “sarah’s uncle.”

“oh, i know,” she reassures, then nods her head pointedly towards sarah. the little one is coming back towards them with her lunchbox in one hand and her water bottle in the other, walking extra careful so she doesn’t trip over herself like she did last week, tommy guesses. clearly fond, maria continues. “she spent all day telling me about you and her daddy. you’re doing great with her.”

“unca thommy! i’m ready to go!” sarah sing-songs, interrupting whatever miss maria might’ve said next. internally, tommy thanks his niece—the you’re doing great was already enough to make him cry, and he’d rather not do so in front of either her or her amazing new teacher. plopping her lunch and bottle at tommy’s feet, sarah gives not one, but two eager waves to miss maria, hands flapping madly up towards the woman’s face. “bye miss mariaaaaa!!!! i’ll see you tomorrow!!!!”

“bye sarah sweets!” maria says back, waving just as enthusiastically. to tommy, she raises an amused, teasing eyebrow. just loud enough for him to hear as he turns away, he hears her say “bye, gorgeous,” and laugh, giving yet another angel a pair of wings.

it takes everything in him to not fall straight to the floor, toppling his own precious niece, right then. he doesn’t think he even breathes until both he and Sarah are secured in the car, him in the front and her in her carseat. she’s already babble singing mary j. blige’s “just fine,” which they usually play and sing on their way home from school to help her regulate. when he plays the song this time, sarah smiles bright at him through the rearview and says “i already feel just fine, unca tommy!!! but can we still play it, just for fun?”

“of course, baby,” he says, and start singing along with her. he’s feeling just fine, too.

🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

tagging some homies (btw just let me know if u wanna be tagged in this kinda stuff or not guys! im never sure lol): @becomethesun @clickergossip @boilingcowboy @bumblepony

#tbh i might edit this and put it on ao3 #im so sorry i didnt get ti the falling in love part at all but i LOVE a good meet-cute #*to #and this is i think my favorite one i’ve put on this blog???????#anon. bestie. you did so well i love u thank u #if yall didnt know already im a preschool teacher so #and have i dreamed abt a rich hot younger single parent/gaurdian falling in love with me???? you fuckin betcha #preschool au #im 100% gonna try to connect this with the one rose and i already made #idk where ellie is in here but she’s here!!!! she loves miss maria too!#miss maria loves kids and especially loves embracing neurodiversity and all the different ways kids brains works #miss maria provides brain breaks and shows you how to do body checks to check in with your body #miss maria understands the importance of diversity in her book and media selection #miss maria recommends tab time and bluey #tommy x maria #tlou au #the tipsy bison #ugh I LOVE THISSSSSS BROOOO IM PROUD OF THIS 🫶🏾#yeas i have plans for tess and joel YOU BET I DO #when ur kids having play dates turns into u dating their mom #tess and joel: who am i gonna date??? i have no time. im a parent #ellie and sarah: hold my juicebox #like theyre fully setting them up with no clue that they’re doing it I LOVE MY LITTLE GIRLS #she calls them sarah sweets and ellie enchanted #she’s referencing ella enchanted but elie doesnt care about that so she explains it means ellie is magic #and ellie is down for that because in her brain magic equal dragon. ellie LOVES dragons #sarah miller #toddler sarah #baby sarah #neurodivergent miller tag

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lilyevanstan1325 · 3 months

Text

💎Forever mine,

forever yours💎

Chapter 1

“Vic, pizza at my place tonight?”

My best friend asks me while her gaze is focused on the PC in front of her eyes.

Her fingers move lightly and quickly over the keys.

Her glasses slide down her nose and with her usual little grimace she wrinkles her nose to put them back in their place.

I turn my attention away from the dozens of papers in my hands for a moment to shift my attention to the woman sitting in front of me on the other side of the desk.

As if she felt my gaze on her, she straightens her back, bringing her arms up over her head, stretching her tired limbs, smiling at me sweetly.

I shook my head with an apologetic smile on my lips.

She already knows what it means and an adorable pout automatically graces her lips.

“I know what you're about to say.Come on!You can't just ditch me.Again!It's already the second time this week” she snorts, crossing her arms over her chest and narrowing her gaze.

Her dark eyes, almost black and speculative, are giving me a silent reproach.

“I'm sorry Sam.Really!But I have to finish these reports by this evening.Plus tonight my father wants me to have dinner with him.Apparently Joel has returned from his trip to Italy and my father is keen to spend the evenings together”

Another feeling quickly makes room in her big eyes, totally opposite to disappointment.

A mischievous smile spreads across her face.

I roll my eyes, returning to focus on my work, clearly avoiding her string of questions and insinuations that are boiling in her head, sure that my friend won't take it badly.

Samantha and I have known each other since middle school, since our first day of school when she was alone and disoriented in a new place.

She shyly approached me during lunch.

I still remember her frightened look, her glasses too big for her thin face and her mop of curly hair the same color of chocolate.

She had just moved from Missouri to follow her parents, both lawyers, who had found a new and promising job in the hot state of Texas.

As far as I can remember, from that moment on we were never separated from each other.

After years of friendships limited only to the circle of children of my father's wealthy friends, I had finally found a true friend.

We went through the college and university years leaning on each other and for a year now we have even managed to find work in the same office.

Technically I had no choice, working in my father's accounting department had almost been an obligation, but after all I love this job.

Numbers have always fascinated me.

If then I add that my father had also hired my best friend, I don't think I can complain one bit.

Because being the boss's daughter isn't easy.

Surviving the constant stares of other employees is disheartening.

Hearing them whisper to each other about how I'm only here because I was recommended made me suffer at first but I was able to have my little revenge, I managed to demonstrate more than once that I know how to do my job.

That I'm here because I'm capable.

Damn, I'm good at what I do!

And Samantha's support has always been my strength.

I finish forwarding the latest emails and with a big sigh I throw my head back pressing my aching back, due to the hours spent sitting in the same position, against the back of the chair.

When I look up from my PC I find Sam in the same position I left her in a few minutes ago.

I raise an eyebrow curiously.

“What?” I ask when I see that my friend still isn't willing to answer me.

Sam shakes her head with a mischievous smile plastered on her beautiful face.

“When were you going to tell me about it?” she asks, getting up from her chair and approaching me.

I observe her carefully while with an innate grace she leans her hips wrapped in an elegant pair of black trousers against my side of the desk.

“Said what exactly?”

Sam laughs throwing her head back, a couple of unruly curls escape from her tight bun but she immediately puts them back in place by pushing them gently behind her ear.

“Oh c'mon!You will have dinner with mister Joel I'm too sexy Miller.What will you wear?Oh, wait!Why don't you wear your Versace red dress you bought last month?I'm sure he'll lose his mind”

I block out her flow of words by placing my hand on her knee.

“Sam!For God's sake, will you calm down?” I hiss through my teeth.

I don't even understand why I'm whispering since there's only the two of us left in the office but talking about Joel always makes me nervous.

I shake my head as if to reproach her.

“It's just a stupid dinner.And then you have to stop!There has never been anything between me and Joel and there never will be.He is my father's best friend and business partner.That man saw me with a diaper, God!”

I pinch my bottom lip between my teeth thinking about Joel.

I've known Joel Miller since I was born.

Him and my father are childhood friends, both born and raised in the same neighborhood.

Together they created their small construction company which over the years has grown dramatically to the point of making them two industrial magnates.

Their stock prices skyrocketed in the last fifteen years, making them the two richest men Wall Street has ever seen.

Earning them more and more covers on titles such as Forbes and the Wall Street Journal.

There is no one in America or Europe who is not aware of the empire they built from nothing.

But while my father met the woman of his life, my sweet mother, on the road to his success, Joel always remained alone.

He has rarely appeared publicly in the company of any woman although I suspect that in private he is full of women ready to die for his attention.

And I'm also among those women...

It's a shame that he never noticed me in that way even if I certainly can't blame him for that.

How could a fifty-year-old man who can count on having had beautiful women in his life, and in his bed, notice me?

I'm just the daughter of his best friend.

A girl of just twenty-five.

I look at my reflection in the turned off monitor of my PC, wondering what more I should have to please a man like Joel Miller.

Maybe I should be taller and definitely thinner.

Maybe the slightly more pronounced curve of my ass or my slightly too busty breasts don't fit into his beauty standards.

My long blonde hair and my blue eyes like the sea are not his type.

The few women I have seen him with have always been beautiful brunettes with golden skin.

Joel Miller will never look at me the way I want to be looked at.

To him I will always be a little girl, Andrew White's little daughter.

“Vic?Are you still with me?”

Sam's voice calls me softly.

I close my eyes burying all my insecurities into the darkest part of my heart.

I smile trying to reassure my friend who obviously doesn't buy it but doesn't push me any further.

She knows when it's time to let go of me especially when it comes to Joel.

She gives me an understanding smile and then moves away from my desk with a light push of her hips.

I watch her as she picks up her jacket from the chair and her bag.

Then she wishes me a good evening with another greeting, making me promise that in the morning we will have breakfast together.

I watch her back disappear through the large glass doors as her heels click on the polished dark marble floor.

With a trembling hand I grab my coat and after looking for the car keys in my bag I head towards the underground car park.

“I wish you a good evening, Miss White” Waylon, the night guard of the building, greets me with a slight bow, a greeting to which I respond distractedly, too stressed by the evening that awaits me.

Without knowing how I find myself in front of the large gates of the villa where my father and I live.

It's like my car knew the way home and brought me here on its own.

I have a vague memory of the road I traveled too intent on nervously chewing my scarlet nails.

The small red light at the top of the gate turns green within a few moments causing the gates to open so I can enter.

As I drive along the long tree-lined path that precedes the immense villa I notice a parked car.

Joel's car.

My heart rate skyrockets at the idea of seeing him again after such a long time.

My grip on the steering wheel slips due to the sweat that begins to wet my palms.

Once I pull over the car I try to dominate all the feelings that stir in my heart.

I can't let my father see me in this condition but above all I can't let his best friend see me like this.

I observe my reflection in the small rear-view mirror, smoothing my hair with my hands and retouching my makeup, brightening up my faded lipstick after a day at work.

I get out of the car looking at the sky, the sun is now setting, coloring it with beautiful red-orange shades, soft and graceful pink clouds adorn it.

I approach with a determined step towards the large mahogany door which opens as if it had sensed my presence.

Behind them appears the thin figure of the housekeeper who bows her head slightly as I pass, hurrying to pick up the coat and the bag which I hold in my hands.

“Good evening, Miss White.Your father is waiting for you at the kitchen on the patio”

“Thank you, Lucy”

I thank her promptly as I set off towards the direction she indicated.

The closer I get, the more I feel the anxiety rising from my stomach and up my throat, parched with anxiety.

And excitement.

As much as I try to deceive Sam and my own heart, I am aware of the fact that mine is not a simple crush.

There is much more inside me than a teenage crush.

A much hotter fire burns inside me for my father's best friend.

When I cross the threshold into the kitchen, Joel Miller is sitting at one of the chairs at the large dining table.

My heart literally skips a beat.

His muscular legs are stretched out in front of him, wrapped in a pair of jeans that hug his thick, powerful thighs like the sin wraps the devil.

One arm is resting casually on the back of the chair while in the other hand he holds a beer.

His long, strong fingers are wrapped languidly around the bottle neck.

The same fingers that in my daydreams wrap possessively around my neck.

I feel an embarrassing blush spread from my neck to my cheeks.

The sound of my heels clicks on the polished floor, immediately attracting the man's attention.

A sweet smile spreads across his relaxed face.

“Hey, sweetheart” he welcomes me getting up and after placing the beer on the table he reaches me with a few quick strides.

“Welcome back”

I greet him wrapping my arms around his neck at the same time his large arms wrap around my hips causing my feet to lose contact with the floor for a moment.

When he puts me down he doesn't let go of my hips as my hands rest delicately on his chest.

“Is Italy really as beautiful as they say, uncle Joel?”

God..

The words burn like poison on my tongue.

Uncle Joel.

I've always called him that for as long as I can remember.

But if before I was just a little girl who demonstrated her affection towards a person who she considered a member of her family, now it sounds completely wrong.

Wrong since in the darkness of my bedroom, with my fingers deep inside my heated slit, his name rolls out, curling around my tongue.

Joel, daddy.

Taking on a much more compromising meaning.

I am distracted from my thoughts when the man's warm hands cup my face gently.

“Yeah, Italy is beautiful but ain't like home” he whispers, letting me go.

In the fraction of a second his hand intertwines with mine and together we approach the table and sit down opposite each other.

Like a perfect gentleman, Joel grabs a beer from above the table, uncorks it and hands it to me.

I accept it without ever taking my eyes off his face.

His eyes are surrounded by many small wrinkles, his dark curls are crossed by several salt and pepper strands like his beard.

These are the only signs that could indicate the true age of this man.

For the rest, Joel Miller has nothing to envy compared to all the guys of my age that I know.

Broad shoulders, wide chest, a defined abdomen.

Not to mention his thighs.

God, his thighs.

If there is one part of his body that I could lose control of, it's his thick, muscular thighs.

The sinuous, power-packed muscles that bring only sinful thoughts to my mind right now are lightly contracting as he lifts one leg to rest his ankle on the opposite knee.

“Sweetheart?”

The sweet and saccharine voice of the man who is the protagonist of my most lustful dreams calls to me.

Embarrassed, I immediately look away from the part of his body capable of making me lose my mind, hoping that he hasn't noticed my insistent staring.

But obviously I'm wrong.

His dark eyes are serious, his gaze a hard frown.

For a moment, for just a moment, I think I see lust in them but what he seems to want to convey to me is only disapproval for having caught me staring at him like a bitch in heat.

Oh God!

If only he knew how I could be a bitch only for him...

I try to ease the tension by moving my gaze towards the patio door overlooking the immense garden.

“Where's dad?” I ask with feigned nonchalance, bringing my attention back to the man in front of me.

Joel watches me in silence and then nods towards the garden behind him.

His dark eyes are still serious.

I roll my eyes to ease the tension.

“Oh God!Barbecue?Again?” I ask disheartened.

If there's one thing that obsesses my father more than his money, it's that damn barbecue.

He never misses an opportunity to use it and his rounded belly is proof of this.

Even though only a handful of years separate them, there is a world of difference between my father and Joel.

Although my father is still a handsome man for his fifty-two years, with wavy blond hair and deep blue eyes, his physique is more softened.

He doesn't look like his best friend.

Oh, not a chance in hell.

Joel continues to observe me with a seriousness I've never seen from him, not directed towards me in the end.

Not knowing what to say, I take another sip of beer, hoping that the golden liquid will give me some confidence.

“The last time I asked him to cook me some vegetables he replied that nothing green and flaccid will ever be placed on his grill” I snort trying to shift Joel's attention to another topic.

Finally his features relax giving me an amused smile, even though I could swear I see a slight shadow of agitation behind his gaze.

He brings the bottle to his lips again and I watch in rapture as his Adam's apple bobs up and down.

I cross my legs trying to hide the sweet discomfort that tingles the center of my core.

I mentally curse myself.

It will be a very long evening.

Damn.

The man's gaze slides along my body, from head to toe, before returning his attention to my face.

It's like he's studying me, like he's seeing me for the first time.

As if he really see me.

We observe each other in silence until the door leading to the garden opens revealing my father, busy carrying a plate full of steaks inside the house.

“Hey, little one.You're finally home” he greets me, placing the plate on the table and approaching to leave a kiss on the top of my head.

My father is usually not so physical in his relationship with me but tonight he is in a particularly good mood, certainly due to Joel's return.

I clear my throat, attracting the attention of the two men already busy talking about business with each other.

“I'm going to wear something more comfortable” I announce trying to get up but my father's strong hand wraps around my wrist inviting me to stay seated.

“No need, little one” he admonishes me.

I snort and sit back down.

I hate when he calls me that.

I hate when he does it in front of Joel and constantly points out the age gap between us.

We begin to eat in silence, a silence that is interrupted only by a few questions about my work from Joel.

My father, for his part, is too silent and I don't miss the furtive glances that the two friends constantly exchange but I tend to ignore them.

It certainly concerns their work, matters in which they don't want me to interfere.

After a few minutes where the only noise in the room is the forks scraping against the plates, I hear a sigh full of tension from my father.

In reaction, I turn towards him, catching a strange stiffening of Joel's body out of the corner of my eye.

I observe the scene in bewilderment as the two men seem to silently communicate with each other.

A weird tension crackles in the air making me strangely anxious.

What happen?

Unable to hold back much longer, I place a hand on my father's forearm, squeezing it slightly.

His eyes immediately move to my hand and then to my face.

I know he can read all the worries I'm feeling.

“What's going on, dad?” I ask in a whisper.

The two men exchange one last long look.

My father runs a hand through his blond hair, pulling them slightly.

Joel gives me a look from his seat that seems to contain an apology.

His gaze doesn't leave me even when my father starts talking.

“Victoria Pamela”

He rarely uses my full name.

And when he does that it's never a good thing.

“What's going on, dad.You're sick?” I ask in panic.

The only thing that comes to my mind looking at their tense looks is that my father is sick.

What else could it possibly be?

My father pauses as if he is trying to muster up the strength to talk to me and I feel my heart beating furiously in my chest, the sound of it echoes in my ears, stunning me.

I rub my hand along his arm encouraging him to continue.

“Vic, honey, there's something you need to know” he exhales grabbing my hand anchored to his arm and squeezing it gently.

“You're scaring me” I chuckle nervously, fighting back the tears that threaten to show themselves.

“I had some problems at work.I made a wrong investment and I lost money.A lot of money”

Unconscious I let out a shaky breath that I didn't even realize I was holding.

My eyes immediately search for Joel but the man promptly avoids my gaze.

My father's grip tightens around my fingers and this makes me realize that perhaps the worst part of the story is yet to come.

“And?” I whisper unable to say anything else.

Thousands of thoughts are racing in my head trying to understand what's going on.

My father has a lot of money

Really...a lot.

Why would a bad investment worry him so much?

My father lets go of my hand so he can rest his elbows on the table and intertwine his fingers.

“I put almost all my money into a business that unfortunately went bad so I asked for a loan but now I can't pay it anymore”

I grind my lower lip between my teeth.

The situation seems to be worse than I thought.

I move my hands in an uncoordinated way in front of me.

“Can't you just talk to the bank?I'm sure you can find a solution.And then Joel can help you.Isn't it, uncle Joel?” I ask, moving my gaze from my father's sweetly resigned face to the man in front of me.

Joel shakes his head in response.

“Ain't that easy, sweetheart”

His southern drawl has a bitter edge.

“How much money are we talking about?”

“It doesn't matter, little one” my father interrupts, leaving me confused.

Joel takes another sip of his beer finally turning his entire frame towards my father.

“Andrew...she must know the truth if we want this to work”

In my father's gaze there seems to be a struggle between different feelings but then I see him nod.

“Now you have to listen to me without interrupting me Victoria, do you understand?”

I nod disoriented.

What are they talking about?

My heart hammers incessantly in my chest, tattooing itself against my ribs.

“Joel and I are not just contractors.We didn't build an empire just thanks to our investments.There is more.We have also invested in another trade”

I listen to his words with extreme attention, trying to understand where he wants to go with his words.

What other business is he talking about?

Even if an idea pops up in my mind I immediately set it aside.

I don't even want to think that both of them are involved in some sinister business.

I force myself to remain silent, waiting for my father to finally tell me the truth.

But he doesn't.

His mouth opens and closes several times as if he wants to speak but his words won't come out of his lips.

Feelings akin to shame and remorse darken his blue eyes.

“Weapons” Joel interjects, seeing the difficulty etched on the face of his best friend.

His words are like a punch to the chest.

My head snaps in his direction, eyes bulging.

“Weapons?I don't think I understand” I murmur breathlessly.

Joel smiles bitterly.

“Ya get it, sweetheart.Your father and I secretly finance some wealthy man to buy weapons from the black market, receiving generous favors in return”

In my head his words swirl like a swarm of crazy bees.

I try to place them in the exact order to make sense.

I nod trying to calm the tremor that runs through my hands.

I don't know much about this type of business but if there's one thing I know it's that these are people who don't joke.

“Let me understand, please.You invested money in a project that went wrong and you asked these men for money.The bank has nothing to do with it, right?”

My father nods, keeping his head down.

Okay.

We just have to find a solution.

“We could sell the house.I could help you.Could I... I don't know...I could sell my car?My jewels?”

As I speak fervently I feel the corners of my eyes tingle realizing that I have failed miserably in my attempt to remain calm.

“Honey, there's not much we can do.With each passing day the amount to be paid increases more and more.I will pay as long as I can but I can't risk bankrupting the company.Too many families depend on me, I can't risk leaving thousands of family men without a job”

I feel anger clouding every cell of my brain.

I clench my hands into two fists, the knuckles pressing ferociously against the skin, turning the flesh white.

How could he do something like that?

How?

Why didn't he think about me?

To my well-being, to our small, dysfunctional family.

“Why?”

My question sounds demanding.

My clouded gaze planted with hatred on the two men.

Joel doesn't answer.

After all, it's not his problem, right?

But I really can't understand how two such honest men fell into this shit.

“I did it for you, my little one”

I widen my eyes in disbelief.

How dare he?

“For me?I never asked you anything.Nothing!”

“I just tried to make sure you never lack anything” my father shouts back at me.

And his words mark the end of my self-control.

“Bullshit!” I reply, standing up forcefully, hitting my flat palm against the table and causing the chair behind me to crash onto the floor.

The deafening sound reverberates through the entire room, drawing the attention of a frightened Lucy who immediately runs towards the kitchen, placing her hand on her chest.

“Everything is fine?”

“Get out of here!” I bark in her direction before she can finish speaking.

Lucy, terrified by my reaction, blushes in embarrassment and with a few apologies on her lips she backs away until she disappears.

“I never asked you for anything!” I yell again, “Do you know what I wanted?I just wanted a father”

I accuse him, stopping any attempt to reply by silencing him with a sharp wave of my hand.

Now, that the dam that kept at bay the river of pain and sorrow suffered in my life because of him, has broken, I can no longer contain my frustration.

“When I was six you gave me a new bicycle while I just wanted you to be present at my school play.Do you know who was there instead of you?Joel was there.When I graduated you gave me a new car while I just wanted you to be in the crowd applauding but you weren't there!There was Joel in your place” I spit and don't caring about the growing pain in my father's eyes I go headed with spite.

“When I got my first salary I wanted to celebrate with you, talk to you about how I was respected at work for my skills but you weren't there and guess what?There was Joel who brought me a pizza and listened to me babble for hours.Him” I scream pointing to the man who has always been there for me, “He has always been there.Where were you?I never wanted your money.I just wanted your love” I sniff.

The explosion of anger left me emptied of all emotion.

I can't believe I was able to vomit out years and years of pain.

And even though I feel like a small part of my heart is dying tonight, I feel lighter.

Painfully empty but deliciously light.

I pick up the chair from the floor and collapse ungracefully onto it.

My chest rises and falls furiously as I try to bring my rapid breathing back to a humanly sustainable pace.

A tense silence surrounds us until my father breaks it.

“Since your mother left us I have always just tried to do my best”

I burst out into a derisive laugh, crossing my arms on the table and burying my head in them.

“Yeah...you know?You fucked up, man” I mumble against the skin of my arm, biting the flesh until the clear outline of my teeth is painfully printed on it.

And now?

What do we do, now?

God!

Right now their sinister business don't even seem like such a big deal to me anymore.

Does him have money's problems?

Let him manage it!

As far as I'm concerned, I'm even willing to go live in a studio apartment and get a job at Starbucks to get away from him.

From them.

Even though Joel muttered little more than a few words, I am aware that he too belongs to that shit.

“Victoria, please listen to me”

My father's plea reaches that little part of me that still craves for his attention and no matter how much I try to turn it off, that little part is always there ready to show that I am a good girl.

I look up and first thing I meet Joel's dark and serious eyes, his unreadable and dominant gaze makes the strings of my soul vibrate.

Too dazed by what just happened, I struggle to turn my head towards my father.

“For me there isn't much to do, I will pay as long as I can.But for you...I can still do something for you.These men are dangerous, very dangerous, and when they don't get what they ask for...before they get to me they will use who I love to make me suffer”

A shiver runs up my spine as the implicit meaning in his words takes root in my brain.

Perhaps, moved by the panic he sees in my eyes, Joel abandons his spot to sit next to me and wrap his arm around my shoulders and I take the opportunity to curl up against his side.

Taking a deep breath of his strong scent.

Joel's scent, the scent of his skin, has always had a calming effect on my nerves.

In his arms I always felt safe.

“Listen” he murmurs, kissing my forehead, “We just have to play smart with these men”

I nod at Joel's words, nuzzling my head against the crook of his neck.

“What should I do?” I murmur dejectedly, moving away from his grasp and looking at my father.

If tonight they decided it was the right time to talk to me this means that they have also already found some sort of solution to the problem.

And call it just a problem is an understatement.

“As I told you before, there is little I can do for myself but there is a way to keep you safe, a way that will ensure that those men don't get close to you”

My father and Joel exchange a look full of meaning that I still can't understand and then the latter just nods.

As if he was giving my father permission to finally expose his plan.

“Joel had nothing to do with this whole thing.I did everything on my own, I wanted to take a risk knowing that he didn't agree.I acted behind his back and I will never forgive myself for this.I'm sorry, brother”

My father's contrite gaze shifts to my side.

Joel shakes his head, a sad smile faintly lifting one corner of his plump lips.

“In the eyes of these people he is still a respectable and, above all, feared man.And this, my dear, will be the strength that we will exploit” my father continues, clearing his throat.

I frown in confusion.

I wrap my arms around my mid section to try to keep all my pieces together.

“You can help us, then” I say with a small spark of confidence in my heart turning my torso in Joel's direction.

“They fear you, they respect you.You can talk to them, ask them to give him more time.You can vouch for him, can't you uncle Joel?”

The man looks at me dejectedly shaking his head.

Annoyed, I straighten my back.

“Why don't you want to help us?” I breathe out in anguish.

My father stands up to his full height, every bit of his body exuding an aura of power.

“Victoria Pamela, you will marry Joel” he announces, crossing his arms over his chest, his gaze serious.

For a moment I look at him without understanding.

You will marry Joel.

I feel my head spinning.

What does he mean with you will marry Joel?

I shake my head vigorously, shielding my ears with my hands.

“If this is a joke it's not funny” I spit through my teeth.

“Do you think I'm joking?” my father's furious look, as he spells out the words one by one, makes my skin crawl.

He can't be really serious.

My heart skyrockets.

Joel cannot agree.

I stand up too, facing my father with a hard face.

“Are you crazy?Oh my God!And you?” I ask angrily, turning my back to my dad and turning towards the man who, despite everything, remains stoic in his silence.

“Do you agree with this fucking bullshit?”

Joel maintains his composure by looking at me seriously, so seriously that it makes my skin shiver.

And this time no, them are not shivers of pleasure.

I cannot believe it.

They are playing with my life, with my feelings, as if nothing had happened.

“Vic, if you become his wife, those men won't even dare to look in your direction.You understand it?You will inherit all my assets, my company share and Joel will be able to protect you as he always has.As I wasn't able to do”

Ignoring my father's words, I continue to keep my gaze on Joel's face but he seems impassive.

I can't even detect a hint of his thoughts in his face.

In front of me I have a wall without emotions.

I turn my back on him, determined to ignore him.

“Dad you can't be serious.I-I-I- I'm already seeing someone!How...how do you expect me to give up my life like this!”

“Who?”

Joel's voice sounds like an animal growl behind me.

Caught off guard by his reaction, I turn my attention again towards him.

“What?”

“Who are ya dating?”

“It's none of your business, uncle Joel” I scoff, pressing on my last two words.

“Jackson's son” my father replies, getting a light, amused snort from Joel.

It's not really happening.

I repeat in my head while closing my eyes and vigorously rubbing the tips of my fingers against my temples I try to tame the headache that threatens to explode minute after minute.

I move back and forth for a few minutes unable to stop.

If I stop the thoughts will eat me alive.

“You can't force me.You can't force me to marry him” I declare firmly, stopping my constant back and forth.

With a trembling hand I bring a glass of water to my lips but after just a few sips I am forced to stop because the nausea arise in my throat.

I can't marry Joel.

I don't want to marry Joel.

Not like that.

I always fantasized about him, dreaming that one day he would notice me and that he might fall in love with me.

I always dreamed that he really loved me...

But not like that.

This is all wrong.

This will break my heart.

He cannot accept.

He can't humiliate and mortify me like this.

I feel the anger boiling under my skin again.

“What will happen to my reputation?I can't marry him.He's your best friend.What do people say?Joel is...Joel is old” I hiss, imprinting my words with spite.

I want him to feel as mortified as I feel.

But to my surprise Joel laughs.

I watch him as he throws his head back, putting a hand to his chest.

When he recovers from his fit of laughter he stands up, towering dangerously over me.

He is so tall that I have to tilt my head back to look him straight in the face.

“Are ya talking to me about reputation?I'm the one who has to marry a spoiled little girl who can't even understand that her life, her father's life, is at stake.Don't come talking to me about reputation, little one”

Every word he says is a slap in my face.

That's who I am to Joel Miller.

I'm just a little girl who he will never see as a woman.

With my heart pumping furiously in my chest and my eyes flooded with tears I turn away and run away to my room.

I can't afford to show how much his words hurt me.

With my heart gripped in a grip of pain and panic, I close my bedroom door behind me with a loud thud, collapsing against it.

I close my eyes, placing a hand on my chest and with my mind clouded by despair I drag myself towards the bed, changing my clothes and putting on shorts and an old white t-shirt.

I sit on the bed hugging my knees and crying all the tears I've managed to hold back so far.

Oh my Lord!

If you were here, mom, all this would never have happened.

I don't have many memories of her anymore.

Photos of her are the only thing that keeps the memory of her face alive in my head.

I don't even remember the sound of her voice anymore...

I was only four when a car accident took her away from me.

I only remember that that evening Joel rushed to our house and spent the whole night with me while my father went to the hospital to recognize the scarred body of the love of his life.

I shake my head, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.

Joel.

Joel has always been here for us.

For me.

He followed me on the path of life trying to fill the void left by my parents.

A light knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts.

“Go away, dad!I don't want to talk, right now!” I shout against the closed door sniffling.

The fine dark mahogany door opens slowly revealing Joel's tall figure.

The man crosses his arms over his chest, resting his shoulder against the doorframe.

Seeing my furious look he raises his hands in front of him giving me one of his most sincere smiles.

“I'm not here to argue, I swear.Can we just talk?”

I scrutinize his face but I no longer find the anger or mockery there as before.

In front of me is the usual Joel, the man who is always kind and thoughtful when it comes to me.

“Come in, uncle Joel”

“Could ya just stop calling me that?”

“Why?How should I call you?My husband is good?”

As he approaches, on his suddenly serious face, a muscle in his jaw twitches dangerously.

He only stops when his knees touch the edge of the bed and then he sits on it.

He stretches his legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles.

The flat palms of his hands rest on the blanket as he throws his head back staring at the ceiling and sighing loudly.

His broad chest expands into full display right in front of my eyes.

“It's all so fucked up” I blurt out, drawing his attention again.

His body straightens and his deep brown eyes focus on my face.

Embarrassed by our prolonged exchange of glances, I lower my gaze, losing myself in observing the veins that run along his arms, going up along his strong and toned biceps left uncovered by the gray t-shirt he is wearing.

His tanned skin glistens in the dim light coming from the lamp placed on the bedside table.

I feel the pressure of two strong fingers pressing under my chin, forcing me to look up at his beautiful features again.

The curly hair that frames his face seems so soft that I have to dig my nails into the palms of my hands to stop myself from stroking and smoothing them with devotion.

Fuck!

I'm totally fucked up...

“I'm sorry if I disappointed ya.I'm sorry that ya discovered that in the end I'm not the good man ya thought but...but I'm still me, sweetheart.I'm Joel” he whispers softly, stroking my cheekbone with the pad of his thumb while the rest of his hand welcomes my face in a tender caress.

I pinch my lip between my teeth, suddenly struck by a wave of heat burning from the center of my legs.

Imperceptibly I squirm in embarrassment.

“Listen to me.If there was another way I would have found it.I swear.But...but there's not.And I have to protect ya.I have to protect ya, sweetheart.Ya and yer father are my whole family, ya are all I have”

His syrupy words are followed by his hand which, as light as the flapping of a butterfly's wings, rests on my bare ankle, wrapping it in his thick coullosed fingers, sending my mind into a tailspin.

Short-circuiting my brain and creating imbalances in my heart.

My skin is covered in shivers.

I hope he doesn't notice even though right now his eyes are watching his hand as he traces small circles on my heated skin with his thumb.

“How...how does it work?We can't get married overnight” I murmur softly trying to distract my attention from Joel's gentle caresses on my body.

He lets his hand slide up my leg stopping at the knee then his eyes are focused on mine again.

He shrugs.

“We'll show up together.Some dinner, some walking.Nothing compromising.The paparazzi will do the rest and we will let the newspapers talking for us.Your father will make some statement, he will say that at the beginning he was not happy about it but that in the end he accepted our love.Then we'll have an engagement party.Your father wants us to get married before the summer”

His words are cold, automatic.

He doesn't care about any of this.

For him it's a stupid farce to play.

Joel misreading the pain in my gaze, mistaking my broken heart for fear, slides his body towards mine, grabbing my face in his hands.

He wraps his fingers around my cheeks with a reverential delicacy, as if I were crystal in his hands.

“I will never touch ya.Never, Victoria.I would never do anything ya don't want.We just have to hold on, play our part and when things are settled we will divorce and ya will be free again” Joel whispers, his intoxicating breath flavored with the smell of beer gently crushing on my parted lips.

Divorce.

I don't know why but my eyes fill with tears.

I am aware that this marriage will all be a farce but the idea that he is totally sure that he doesn't want me shatters my heart.

And this is a pain I don't know if I could bear.

For the last ten years I have kept my infatuation for him at bay but now faced with the real prospect of living with him, of living Joel day after day, it complicates everything.

Deprived of all my willpower, I nod weakly.

I have no other choice.

But before the man in front of me lets go of my face I wrap my hands around his wrists.

“Promise me you'll do everything you can to get my father out of this fucking mess!”

Joel nods with conviction placing his warm lips against my forehead, his mustache and stabble tickling my skin, making my toes curl in pleasure.

After which, too quickly for my taste, he interrupts the contact and standing up.

“I will never stop”

He walks towards the door but before he can leave I whisper his name making him turn towards me again.

A stupid smile blossom on my lips.

“Do you remember when I was nine and I asked you to marry me?”

I laugh amused at the memory.

Joel's laughter echoes within the walls, warming my heart.

His eyes, surrounded by many small and delicious wrinkles, shine like onyx.

Still smiling, he takes his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans, pulling out a small, crumpled piece of paper from it.

He comes closer and hands it to me and I already know what it is before my hand accepts it.

In front of me I have the paper where the me of the past had written her ramshackle vows of love for her beloved uncle Joel.

Shaking my head, I give it back to him, watching as he carefully puts it back in his wallet.

“Have you kept it with you since then?” I ask in disbelief and also excited.

I can't believe that that small, insignificant piece of paper remained in his wallet for sixteen years.

Joel reaches the door again and without turning towards me he whispers softly “This is my most precious treasure, sweetheart”

And in the blink of an eye Joel Miller disappears.

My heart pounding against my aching ribs and I let myself fall against the pillows.

I close my eyes and, accompanied by the sweet scent of Joel that still lingers in the room, I fall asleep, too tired and overwhelmed to dwell on the mess that will become my life.

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