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yourfavoritehouseplant · 5 months

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I watched James Somerton's final video, and all I got was this 6 page document

As soon as I learned his final unreleased video was on Revolutionary Girl Utena, I knew I had to hate watch it. I didn't know that I'd spend the following 4 hours making a comprehensive doc on everything I hated about it. But here we are.

The TLDR (is this too long to be a TLDR?)

The intro section, as well as Part 2, are directly plagiarized from wikipedia. The rest is unclear.

He makes a “haha this show is so weird right guys” joke 10 different times

He reads Anthy as so emotionally stunted she literally has to be taught how to think for herself, and believes that being the rose bride makes her feel good

He says that his reading is ‘vastly different” from the rest of the community, before boldly stating that this is because he sees it as a “deeply allegorical and symbolic story”

He sees the sexual abuse as “not to be taken literally”

Insists that the show be separated into parts that are strictly literal and strictly allegorical for the entirety of parts 3 and 4, before making the contradictory move of analyzing characters as allegories during part 5

The only characters that get dedicated sections are Akio and Dios, who he doesn’t believe are the same person.

He says Dios gets his powers by “deflowering women”

He calls Akio, known child predator, a chaotic bisexual

Uses 14 year old SA survivor Anthy’s passive personality to make a joke about her being a bottom

His final point is that Utena was the real prince all along

There are no citations

Anyway, full version for people who hate themselves under the cut. With time codes, because I cite my sources.

Part 1: Intro

This entire section is almost exclusively quoted from the Wikipedia article for Revolutionary Girl Utena. Words have been changed, but the order at which certain topics come up is not. Highlights include:

0:56 In his introduction of Be-Papas, lists the founding members in literally the exact same order as Wikipedia.

1:40-2:00 His list of Be-Papas previous works is lifted entirely from wikipedia, only with the words changed. This leads to a strange moment at 1:52 where he claims Be-papas ‘lent their talents to’ Neon Genesis Evangelion, a show which started production at least a year before Be-papas was founded. On the wikipedia article for Utena, this is instead referring to the previous work of Shinya Hasegawa and Yōji Enokido

4:23 he uses a quote by Yūichirō Oguro describing the production as a “tug of war”. He seems to have lifted this in its entirety from Wikipedia, as he does not cite the actual source it is from (the box set companion book, btw)

As for James Somerton originals, at 0:44 he claims that out of all magical girl series,”none to my knowledge have been more discussed and dissected than the 1997 series Revolutionary Girl Utena” He will go back on this at 5:05, where he states that “Sailor Moon takes the lion’s share of discussion” in regard to influential magical girl anime

Part 2: Part 1

(At least I know I’m not funny, unlike James Somerton)

Speaking of which. Here is every single time he makes a “wow this show is sooooo weird you guys” joke: 6:00, 8:50, 10:40, 10:58, 13:46, 17:07, 24:16, 30:34, 41:19, 48:01

Here’s every time the punchline to the joke is the existence of Nanami, a character who he otherwise completely disregards: 10:56, 12:05, 16:22, 42:40

6:16 Claims that the “Apocalypse saga” and “Akio Ohtori saga’ are two names for the same several episodes, depending on the release. This is untrue. Instead, different releases either only have the Apocalypse saga, or split the episodes into an Akio Ohtori saga and then the Apocalypse saga.

7:58 Claims Utena intervening on Anthy’s behalf begins the first duel. While this happens in the movie, Touga intervenes in the scene he uses clips from (like literally right after the shot he uses in the video). Utena only gets drawn into the duels when Wakaba’s love note to Saionji is posted. Youtuber Noralities’ Utena video also gets this wrong, which makes me wonder if this was copied.

9:09 Claims Akio’s “End of the World” moniker is actually more closely translated to “Apocalypse”. In reality, the translation moves away from a more apocalyptic reading, with 世界の果て (Sekai no hate) apparently translating closer to “the furthest reach of a known world” or “edge of the world”. (Love the implications of this translation, but I digress)

9:10 As can be assumed from the previous point, this means I can’t find any sources that point to them not using the title “apocalypse” for religious reasons

10:10 Uses Anthy’s extreme passivity under her Rose bride persona to make a top/bottom joke. I’m gonna repeat this in case you’re just skimming. He uses a trait that likely stems from years of abuse, (possibly exaggerated by the persona Anthy uses to manipulate people), and uses it to call her a bottom.

He also just doesn’t seem to understand how the whole point of Utena constantly telling Anthy that she's just a normal girl who should make more friends is framed as Utena imposing her will on Anthy, just as much as the previous Engaged have done.

11:54 Apologies in advance for my most “um, actually!” point yet, but technically his statement that Anthy stops being host to the Sword of Dios is wrong. Akio literally pulls a sword out of her chest in the final duel. It's a more evil-looking sword of Dios, granted.

13:02 !!! CANTARELLA SCENE ALERT !!! He interprets it as them fighting over Akio?? Which like. I will allow people to have their own interpretations of vague and symbolic scenes. I will. I swear. This is not technically incorrect. It just makes me want to eat my own intestines.

14:44 Bad Anthy take #1: He states Anthy “is emotionally stunted to the point where she needs people to make decisions for her because she does not know how to think for herself” This ignores several moments of Anthy clearly making her own choices throughout the show, including the suicide attempt Somerton mentions about a minute prior. This also strips Anthy of what little agency she has throughout the story, usually exerted through messing with Utena or Nanami. (The fact that she repeatedly makes choices that contribute to her own abuse is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting parts of her character, and it's a shame that Summerton’s ‘reading’ of the story completely disregards that)

Additionally, he once again reads Utena ‘urging Anthy to think for herself” in the first arc as an unambiguously good move, and not as something critiqued in the show.

14:52 Summerton reads the Swords of hatred as symbolizing men’s hatred specifically. Again, I’m trying not to completely disregard differing interpretations to a show like Utena, but this feels very simplistic, especially considering the harm we see aimed towards Anthy by other women

16:42 Here he claims that his reading of the story seems to be “vastly different” from the bulk of Utena discourse. What is this reading? That the show shouldn’t be read literally. Or, in his words, “[we can interpret] Revolutionary Girl Utena as a deeply allegorical and symbolic story about the struggles of coming of age amidst widespread institutional corruption in a high school and which describes a passive culture of inaction in regard to brazen instances of domestic exploitation in which there is not only a question about the caporeality of the events transpiring but also which events can be taken for granted and which events are meant to signify abstract sociological institutions.” The idea that he believes this is in any way a new reading of the material honestly baffles me.

Part 3: Part 2

17:48 through 18:50 differently quotes the Wikipedia article for postmodernism. He even makes a joke at 17:55 about Wikipedia. Please kill me.

The first three themes he lists at 19:11 are just the three main themes listed on the Revolutionary Girl Utena Wikipedia page. What was that about a “vastly different” reading, James?

You’re gonna have to take my word for it, but this section is so short because it's just him talking about the various ways the story can’t be taken literally. He does, ironically, call this a hot take.

Part 4: Part 3

Here’s where the reading falls apart folks

At 23:15, he states that some things in Utena are allegorically coded, while others are to be taken literally. This is true. However, he seems to take this to mean that some parts of the show are Strictly Literal, while others are Strictly Allegorical for things going on in the Literal World.

This is apparently why he prefers the Anime to the Movie, where there basically is no separation between the Literal and Allegorical

This take is bizarre to me for several reasons, but here is my favorite. At several points, he mentions how Revolutionary Girl Utena is a work of Magical Realism. Magical Realism is literally defined by its blending of the “literal” and “allegorical”, the mix of fantastical elements in a mundane, realistic setting. This idea of the impossibility of a blurred line, that Utena must either have lore where the magic is all real and means nothing, or dedicated allegory segments quarantined from the rest of the story, is contrary to the very idea of Magical Realism.

I can’t help but wonder if Somerton took his mentions of Magical realism from a previous work, due to how little it is consistent with his final argument. Either way, this section suggests a great lack of creativity in his analysis, a shame for such a creative work.

24:36: Shiori slander, for those who care

After this he gets really worked up about people assuming symbolism in everything, even when the author ‘doesn’t make it clear something is symbolic’. He shuts down a reading of a shot in the Lord of the Rings. Miley Cyrus is there? Very The Curtains Were Blue of him.

28:22 Claims that Wakaba is the key to telling where the Strictly Literal segments end and the Strictly Allegorical segments begin. He states that, under this lens, deeply personal moments of character suffering such as all of the sexual abuse and Anthy’s suicide attempt (which he literally cites) should be read as symbolic and be “approached with uncertainty rather than confusion”. (28:24-29:13)

This also somewhat falls apart when you consider Wakaba is the jeep in the movie's car chase

And then he rants about people not liking his Attack on Titan video for a bit. Since its potential symbolism also doesn't follow hard enough rules to be symbolism. Once again, the separation of “fact vs allegory” I haven’t watched AOT, so that's all I’ll say.

Part 5: Part 4

Thank god this part is short. Much like Dios’ on-screen presence.

32:55 Makes the extremely bold claim that Dios is not Akio. As in, never even became Akio. because Dios is Strictly Allegorical.

Just to be a pedant, this is pretty explicitly disproven in the show

Confusingly, both earlier and later he will address these two as the same character.

33:04 he also explains the root of Akio’s name in a tone that suggests this is supplemental information and not like. Literally something he explains out loud in the show?

Part 6: Part 5

This section is nearly entirely about Akio Ohtori. I would like to note that him and Dios are the only characters with dedicated segments.

38:30 The part where he states that Dios gets his powers from deflowering women.

38:46 Claims, once again, that Akio’s abuse of Anthy “may not be literal”.

38:59 “the instance of exploitation here is used because assault has deep roots as indicating that akio's gender is the source of his imbalance” THE ASSAULT IS ABOUT AKIO NOW???

39:45 Bad Anthy take #2: “Anthy’s conformity to the Rose bride is based around the fact that she feels good being subservient because this is the only thing in her life that has ever brought her any kind of positive reward”. This is a direct quote. Anyway, I can’t think of any instances in the show where Anthy’s subservience gives her a positive reward, except maybe when she’s intentionally using it to manipulate others. As for her feeling good being the rose bride. She tries to commit suicide. Dude.

Side tangent, but isn’t this exactly what Akio says during the final 2 episodes? That Anthy enjoys being a witch? Is the main villain, who consistently says things during that very episode that are blatantly false, our source of information for this take? I guess so, since this is the dedicated Akio section.

At 40:20 he decides to introduce the concept of Anthy, Akio, and Utena as stand-ins for wider concepts, which is antithetical to his approach in analysis beforehand

Part 7: Part 6

42:40 he finally acknowledges that he’s been spending too much time talking about Akio, and literally no time on characters like Nanami

46:10 states that Utena’s exclusive motivation “is to protect Anthy from the predatorial intentions of the other dualists”, which disregards the fact, which she states herself, that she was largely participating in the duels and protecting Anthy to feel like a prince

48:04 The part where he says that Akio has ‘chaotic Bi vibes’ in regards to him sleeping with Touga, who is 17 and implied to be a long-term victim

Part 8: Part 7

54:01: His concluding point is that Utena was the real prince all along.

In true Somerton fashion, the video then ends over a scrolling wall of patrons, with not a single citation in sight.

#the autism won again you guys #revolutionary girl utena #james somerton #shoujo kakumei utena #utena #anthy #hbomberguy

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nickybloodhead · 6 months

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Kinktober day 17: Threesome

After seeing James flirt with a few girls you decided to give him the silent treatment, it was unbelievable that he asked you to accompany him on what was left of the tour and there he was playing the gallant with other sluts.

You ignored him and stayed away from his touch, preferring to hang out with the others as you were having more fun that way.

Kirk was one of the guys who made you feel welcome, they spent too much time together in the off times, James didn't like it.

He was always watching you guys, drinking gallons of beer but never did anything about it.

However, that night he didn't see you or Kirk anywhere, the worst scenes were going through his head as he walked the halls of the hotel, he stopped in front of the guitarist's door and just opened it without even knocking, there you two were quite giggly, the place smelled like weed.

"Hey, what's up dude?" Kirk smiled friendly at James who frowned and looked at you with annoyance.

"Why are you here alone with him, what were you planning on doing?" your eyes were a little heavy from smoking, you watched James approach and licked your lips, you knelt down on the bed to be eye level with the blond, it looked like he had more to say but before he did you pressed your lips against his.

"We were just chatting, nothing more" You murmured against his lips and glanced sideways at Kirk who seemed quite amused just watching them kiss, he bit your lip and you fixed your eyes on James again "But...we could do something the three of us, if you want to Het"

The suggestion seemed to take both men by surprise, you sat on the bed watching the two of them and waiting for a response; James took your chin and forced you to look at him, he didn't seem upset, rather thoughtful and maybe a little excited.

"Have you thought about having us both, fucking you, is that what you want?" you couldn't hide your blush and nodded, he chuckled and looked at his friend. "What do you say, you want my girl to suck you off?"

Kirk has an expression of pure confusion, he clears his throat looking between the two of them, maybe hoping one of them will say it's a joke. "Uhm, well man, I don't want to get into your relationship or anything."

"That's not what I asked you, come on, I've seen the way you look at her, you want her to blow you?" James smiles condescendingly and seeing that he gets no response, he grabs you around the waist and turns your back to him, facing Hammett. His hands grab the edge of your shirt and he pulls it off, leaving your breasts exposed to his bandmate.

He leans in close to your ear, his hands run across your abdomen making you shudder, you look at Kirk with shyness and desire.

"Since you want us both to fuck you, go on, I'll give it to you for tonight...but even if you have a mouth full of him, remember you're mine."

You nod obediently and crawl to get closer to Kirk, you look behind you to James for permission, to which he gestures for you to go ahead, you kiss the curly haired one as he runs his hands over your tits.

You feel the warmth of James' body behind you, his lips start to leave little nibbles on your neck, his hand reaching between your legs to touch you over your panties. You moan in the middle of the kiss and reach down to squeeze the growing bulge of both men, you manage to make them both gasp for which you smile, you place your hands on Kirk's chest and push him down on the bed, you reach down over his body and play with the waistband of his pants.

"Wait, is this for real or am I too high?" You smile mischievously at him and proceed to unbutton his jeans, you slowly pull them down creating anticipation and kiss his length over the fabric of his boxers, you hear James grunt behind you, his hands grab your waist and pull you onto all fours, your ass up for him as you lean on your forearms to continue to tease Kirk's cock with your mouth.

He is still dumbfounded by the situation, however, as soon as you start leaving licks along his still clothed shaft, his hand goes to your head as he moans, you look him in the eyes and pull down his underwear to at once take his cock in your mouth, his hips rise which makes you gag a little, drool drips pir your chin as you dive back into his length.

James gets fucking hard as he watches you take his friend like an expert, he tears your panties with no intention of waiting any longer, he spreads your pussy open with his fingers and spits in your hole, you moan at the wet sensation and arch your back as you feel the cockhead run shallowly along your slit, you wiggle your hips, encouraging him to enter you.

He does, thrusting in with one thrust, stretching your walls to accommodate his huge girth, you moan around Kirk's cock which makes him shudder, he close his eyes and pushes your head deeper into him.

"Shit, you've got a dirty little mouth, I understand why Het's with you, pretty" Kirk's panting voice makes you suck him hard as you massage his balls, James crashes into you, fucking you raw and making your thighs flinch. You look over your shoulder at him as you hear him scoff at what his bandmate is saying, he looks up at you and winks cheekily. You masturbate Kirk as you just lick his tip, the pre-cum staining your lips.

James' palm lands on your lower belly, his middle finger lightly grazes your clit which makes you let out a high pitched moan, your eyelashes flutter, Kirk's cock throbbing in your hand, you take it back into your mouth and begin to bob up and down, cupping your cheeks to create better suction. The grunts and gasps of both guitarists are all you hear, suddenly, James turns you over leaving you lying on your back on the bed.

"Oh, I plan to see your face when I cum on you, who knew you'd be so good at taking two cocks" He teases as he strokes his length over you, Kirk settles next to your head and jerks off over your face.

"That's an amazing girl you got there, buddy. I think she would love to be smeared with our cum" He joins in the teasing, you moan as you press your clit with your fingers waiting for both of them to cover you with their seed.

James cums first, staining your abdomen and breasts, his release is accompanied by a deep moan, Kirk follows, cumming all over your face, drops of his cum sliding down your cheeks and mouth. You squeal as you feel James' mouth on your clit, it only takes a couple of licks to make you convulse in a powerful orgasm, all you hear around you is static, you fix your blurred gaze on James who smiles at you.

"Hey gorgeous, are you with us?" You barely nod slowly to which you hear a couple of giggles, you look up and see Kirk resting against the pillows, he stretches a little and stands up.

"I need a shower, uh, same time next week?" he has a playful touch so he just gets a middle finger from James, you laugh softly.

"It was a one time chance Hammett, get out of here man" James laughs good naturedly and pushes him away, Kirk disappears into the bathroom also laughing. The blond looks you up and down, he picks up his shirt off the floor and wipes your face, then reaches over and kisses you.

"You are mine, after all."

You know, I think this was my first time writing obscenities with Kirk, I hope I didn't screw it up.

#the people spoke and Kirk won #but don't worry #if you do not vote for Kirk #it is possible that Jason and Dave will appear on another Kinktober day #but I think this one was good #james hetfield #kirk hammett #load james #load Kirk #james my beloved #jaymz #kinktober 2023 #james hetfield smut

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