Tumgik
#its so pretty. thinking abt the way they put it on me + when they wrapped their arms around me when i was cooking for them etc etc
psiirockin · 1 day
Note
do you have any advice for opening commissions? i feel like you have them very professionally set up, and i have pretty bad social anxiety, so it might be helpful to hear tips for communicating with customers and such, or setting up a fair tos!
hi so, maybe i do have some advice!!! <33 thank you so so much for the kindness & seeing me as professional lol i’ve been doing comms for 2-3 years and i must say.. still getting the hang of a lot of things. you go through a lot of trial + error trying to figure out what works best for you, so remember theres no truly right way to go about comms! they should all fit the needs, pace, and benefit of you and your work ethic!
what i did personally is start off at some lower prices just to test the waters and get the ball rolling. i priced rendered characters at i think, $24 per character? possibly lower, i cant quite remember. and then i gradually went up as i started to progress in my art style more + had more people coming in.
with customers, i have a lot of anxiety as well! im autistic, so i never like making a customer feel like i dont truly care abt the commission by accidentally sounding too flat or anything. i tend to RLLY overthink it lol so we make sure we are extra talkative + kind about their comm! giving them compliments on the character, showing genuine excitement so they know theyre in good hands! (we love engaging esp when the customer seems VERY excited or enthusiastic abt the commission!)
a lot of irl turmoil tends to happen in our life which can make a comm delayed sometimes. could be severe mental health problems, just being busy w/ shit in general. its important to just keep your customers up to date, especially if its going to take a realllyyy long time or the customer likes frequent updates.
i used to be able to get shit done in like a night. but, with an actual line up/queue of comm work we progressively started taking longer and longer esp as we transitioned from a teenager starting out and into a busy adult with persistent mental health issues. (plus our art becomes more complex as time goes on, so that has to be taken into account) tbhs, depending on your availability and how much effort goes into your work, and as the demand grows, you need to charge accordingly and just be honest with your clientele.
as for TOS do what makes you comfortable! make your limits known and put your foot down when a request or any topic makes you uncomfortable. dont let your customers get inappropriate with you or try to make you feel bad if they dont wanna pay for what they ask for, etc. i also recommend requesting payment after sketch/half and half when starting out just so you can get some experience under your belt + assure future clients that youre professional n wont scam them! (if you plan on switching to payment upfront in the future)
just remember that u are not a machine, you are a human being making art for someone else. putting love n effort into your craft, time and effort. take your time getting the hang of comm stuff, things dont have to be perfect in your setup at first.
31 notes · View notes
spider-man-2o99 · 11 months
Note
The prevailing belief of many ASTV viewers seems to be that Miguel O'Hara is an actual, literal vampire. Do you think this funny.
Nope! <3 it shows such a lack of willingness to do even Basic Research that would take maybe two seconds to look up that it makes me want to Kill. like. cmon. he has Fangs because he's half-spider...,,.,
They're hollow, and whenever he Bites People, it is specifically with the intent to POISON them with the VENOM from his FANGS-- he also Says That every time he does it, like he's an anime character, lol, and it means a lot to me. we don't know the exact makeup or potency of his venom, but we Do know that it's fast-acting, paralytic, and (apparently, thankfully) non-toxic, at least.
#talking tag#asks#spider-man 2099#spiderman 2099#atsv#across the spiderverse#spider-man: across the spider-verse#but like. honestly ive Never liked ppl calling him a vampire LOL ppl alREADY didnt know anything abt 2099 as it was Before ATSV came out y/#and then ATSV comes out nd its portrayal of My Blorbo for whom my foolish fool self would & Will go 2 bat for Debunking Disinformation abt-#--is Canon Accurate in its characterization of him even if in general i think it's pretty Thematically Weird 2 have chosen Mig Specifically#--for the role that they put him in just specifically because. like. the themes of SM2099 kind of actively go against All Of That Stuff?#but. whatever. dbsdkvbdvjbsk it's not a Dealbreaker 4 me i Understand quite intimately that literally nobody cares abt analyzing 2099 LOL.#and i am just a nitpicky esoteric autistic Bitch with Very Strong Opinions or w/e#anyways they made lots of Funney Jokes. tho i dont dig how often mig was Called Unfunny because he Is Funny hes just autistic nd quiet#mig Is Funny he just doesnt make quips as a nervous reaction or to distract villains when he is wearing the costume.#like the Whole Point of his spider-man is that hes Supposed to b Weird And Different from other Spiders thats literally what he was made 4#zigging where lee & ditko zagged. He Was Designed That Way On Purpose That Is Why He Is So Interesting He Is ACTUALLY DIFFERENT#Christ almighty one more person acts like he wasnt nothin before this film as if he aint existed for 30 years with an established history.#feel like i m just gonna start freakign Killing
106 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months
Text
...
#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak#who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad#and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur#research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a#bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way#i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit#i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like#i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt#wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide#stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the#predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing#i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh.#i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just#send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel#ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart#ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run#this body into the ground. like the good old days.#unrelated
13 notes · View notes
waywardsalt · 10 months
Text
now bc of that one post abt zelda getting fridged whenever that one guy directs a zelda game im thinking abt tetra just getting turned to stone in ph and like. what would it have been like if she were an actual character in ph. what would she have done how would this have changed the story
#not gonna do a whole lot of tagging im just musing. if you wanna rb or reply with ideas thats great#im not the person to figure this out bc i dont actually care much abt tetra#not like oh i hate her but like. i only played ph and what i see of her beyond that has not endeared me to her#shes fine i just dont get it. ig cuz i didnt play ww but eh#cuz like. ok. pretty much the majority of phs plot relies on tetra having been turned to stone and fixing that#and me being the autistic little freak i am the psrt that also makes it hard for me to wonder what could happen if#tetra werent stone and that making the game better is like. ok what about linebeck and his arc#listen his arc is so fucking good and hes great and i dont think his arc would have been so good if link wasnt the character he was put wit#cuz link is a great foil and despite having minimal characterization has just the right personality to nudge linebeck along#cuz hes def part of what inspires some of that change in linebeck so idk what might have happened#if tetra was an active player interacting with him in ph too. cuz like idk most of the time when i see people#do stuff where they interact its usually tetra one upping linebeck or whatever and thars like. ok thats whar ciela does#maybe im reading into it too much and focusing on linebeck. idk how you couldve done and changed#the plot of ph to include tetra without just straight up rewriting the whole thing or putting link away#bc look me in the eyes. i do not think linebeck would have developed the way he did without having met link specifically#salty talks#idk i feel like linebecks arc is the best bit of story in ph so i want that to remain more or less intact bc thats where a lot of#the emotional stuff comes in at the end. his dialogue in the ghost ship battle and the final boss. its important#i dont think about tetra much cant you tell. so id leave this to someone who actually cares abt her as a character
9 notes · View notes
guinevereslancelot · 5 months
Text
is there anything worse than feeling like ur the only one putting any effort into all of your relationships. el oh el
#feels like this with all my friendships tbh#im like the only one ateting conversations individually or in the group chat#im the only one trying to make plans#(except when they make plans without me 😭)#ughhhh im trying not to be insecure and needy but its so hard bc it really does feel like nobody wants me around until they need something#and i cant even talk abt it bc first of all i dont want to upset anyone esp the one living w me rn#but also it feels like im already the one doing all the talking and i did share some personal stuff recently#i want to communicate and keep conversations going and open up bc we're usually all very supportive of eachother and share things#but i feel like im the only one doing that#anyway.#misery#this is a good problem to have compared to most of my life i've never really had close friends before this#its just depressing and upsetting#i was already in a pretty bad insecure place before all the drama lately amd hadn't shared bc i knew it was irrational#but now ita way worse and with everything going on i cant even talk abt itttt#i hate this i hate it#not to be bitter but i've been thinking abt that saying if you want a good friend be one and 🤨#all my friends do is use me honestlyyyyy ✌️🤪#they want a place to stay for free but can't be bothered to talk to me ever or invite me when they make plans with our friends lol#they're always begging me to put together these bonfire parties they like bc i have a nice yard but its a lot of work#and nobody helps me set it up and they begggg me to do it when the weather is bad and i dont want to but i do it anyway#then they exclude me from things#literally lisa simpson they're using you for your pool.gif#i dont even have a pool tho#anywayyy i hate feeling like an afterthought when im in the group and literally no one ever seeks me out unless they want something#and im trying so hard to be a good friend bc im just so glad to have friends but nobody seems to want me around or want to talk to me#and i dont want to be annoying 😭#also im the oldest in the group but not by choice there's just no girls my age in our orbit#my only adult friends are middle aged and the only one im close ish to just moved out of state#anyway im not that much older they're mostly young twentties and im mid twenties
5 notes · View notes
jrueships · 1 year
Note
Bron crushing hard on kyrie is embarrassing
LMFAO
#i love when i get asks that sound like asks u see on wag blogs#sometimes when im bored and the dash is slow i search up my fav wag blogs and catch up on all the messiness#the askers certainly love their lightskins who hate them over there#anyways this just sounded like a tea poster telling me abt an embarrassing married celeb w a family being downbad for someone else#which this pretty much is so#the way lebron smacked that mans hand and proceeded to put more energy into the greeting kyrie had no idea how to complete..#he is so embarrassing#aquariuses will not like someone popular but the moment theyre hated on as well for being a hater#they will do everything in their power to pretend like theyve always liked that popular person#im srry yall but when they be lyin they be lyin lyin fr#they dont lie all the time but when they do it's on smthing heavy n irrefutable to them#i dont think i have to explain it with lebron#bro is the king. he could have anyone. and he chooses That#it's like a rich popular beloved guy who wants the only girl that doesnt like him but in all its problematic realities#maybe being determinely n frighteningly attracted to the one person who tells u no is Not so hot After all. in fact. at all#and maybe that rlly nice girl u str8 up kicked to the curb n abandoned (russ) actually Wasnt that boring n deserving of that#n maybe the girl u want that no one else wants has an actual reason to that which should be acknowledged n probably abided or atleast aided#instead of u deluding urself into being capable of fixing her thru a relationship where both of yall can get hurt#but u know#what do i know#i talk abt zodiacs sometimes im a stain on humanity#the trials of socrates#lebron rlly needs to stand up.. ure literally so real for this anon#amazing ask#ted asks#srry for the barebones actual text i tried framing it like a wag blog
11 notes · View notes
sanstropfremir · 2 years
Note
hi!!!! do you have any advice era taemin styling thoughts to share!!!!!
oh of course!!!! who would i be if i didn't? i talked about the advice styling in more general terms in my taemin and masks post a million years ago and a little bit here in this post where someone asked me my fave taemin stylings, but there are a couple of places where i wanted to go into more detail!
advice is very interesting, styling wise, because on first glance it's all over the map. but there's very conscious effort at play to conceptualize and visualize the idea of combined dualities. ngda was taemin's magnum opus, an interrogation of binaries and strict moralities with the conclusion of creating a new self outside those systems. and, very importantly: the new self is built from those systems. as exemplified with ending shot of him being doused in white paint, the new is informed, synthesized from the old. which you can see in how none of the clothing is in true monochrome. it's always as a purposeful duality: skin/covered, black/white, white/red, red/blue. even his hair is dual toned. and it also is ingrained in the fabric of most of the garments themselves. the split black and white suit, the thorned jacket, the tartan suit set. i know the tartan might not seem like it follows the trend, but tartan patterning is made from using multiple colour warp (vertical) and weft (horizontal) lines while weaving, which creates an entirely new pattern just from alternating colours.
the other point i want to note in particular is the king imagery. with the minting of a new self in a new system outside of the old, one has the choice whether or not to take a position of power, and taemin 100% does that. the most obvious king imagery is in one of the rounds of concept photos:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
and there's also the extremely obvious:
Tumblr media
as well as the thorned jacket, which is undoubtedly a jesus reference but importantly it is a marker of carrying the thing that hurt you as a mark of pride and strength. taemin has taken a lot of public scrutiny over the course of his career and there are some motifs throughout advice that are emblematic of that scrutiny:
the extensions: the last time taemin had notable extensions was for sherlock when he was nineteen, almost a decade ago. he had a lot of unwarranted criticism levelled at him for being 'feminine' and that public response had a very dramatic impact on his persona and the trajectory of his work
the instagram 'baddie' look: again, he's taken a lot of shit for being 'feminine' and he took that to the most extreme he's ever done
the mascara tear tracks: taemin has spoken several times about how he doesn't like to/finds it uncomfortable to cry in public
the boyishness of the point styling: because he debuted so insanely young, there's always been a perception of youth and immaturity around him and with this tartan suit he embraced it instead of trying to shy away from it. that outfit also bears striking similarity to gainsborough's blue boy portrait (c. 1770):
Tumblr media
which, although it would be incorrect to say that this particular portrait is indicative of 'short pants as indicating boyhood' ('teenager'/youth clothing doesn't exist in this period but that's a costume history lesson for another day), it is true that short pants in the last two centuries have become inextricably linked with school-aged youth. that, combined with the previously cited image from the inkigayo stage of him in this outfit sitting on a throne, paint a very clear picture of a boy king who has rightfully and confidently taken his place at the head and as the inspiration of an industry.
and a parting thought: i know it's a likely coincidence but i'm not going to look down on the fact that this suit combo is from the loverboy ss21 collection, titled 'the healing'
Tumblr media
28 notes · View notes
murdrdocs · 3 months
Note
Babe. Babe. Babe. I’m ovulating and it shows BUT. I’m thinking SO heavy abt how in MULTIPLE of ur luke fics you comment on his desire to cum inside, knowing damn well he can’t/that he’ll be able to talk her into it one day and it WONT leave my brain alone. I need a fic where reader finally lets him. I’m gnawing at the bars of my enclosure as I type this. down horrendously. send help.
creampie; MDNI – i did not realize that I did this that often erm
if he hadn't have told you verbally, with the way luke is fucking you, you would've been able to figure out what his goal was.
it was one he recently set, having been given permission by you, coupled with extremely enthusiastic consent.
truthfully, it was about time.
all of those sessions where you would see him staring longingly at your cunt after he fucked it, as if he were expecting something else to happen. all of those nights where he would hesitate before putting on a condom, plump lips parting as if he prepared to ask a question, and then promptly closing as he decided against it.
it all led to this: luke finally fucking you raw, leading himself to an orgasm that would make it all worth it.
he has you in a mating press, as if he needed to amplify his intentions even more.
the tops of your thighs pressed against your chest, your ankles and calves thrown over his shoulders, the position spreading you open to give luke access to the deepest parts of you.
he keeps mentioning it, clearly as entranced by it all as you are. little breaths of "so deep" and borderline gasps of "you feel me?" spoken into the stiff air.
you really aren't much better. the ferocity of his hips, the hunger behind each thrust, has made you go dumb. you can only respond in pornographic "yes"'s and "mhm"'s every so often. all of your energy and sense has gone to the feeling of luke driving himself in and out of you like you're nothing but a pocket pussy.
he'd already made you cum once, and another is steadily approaching. it comes closer and closer as you realize that luke is using your body.
it arrives when luke tells you he's about to cum, since you know what that means.
somehow, your brain begins to function and words form.
"please, luke. please cum in me. i need it so bad."
you sound desperate, like something out a video curated perfectly to appease audiences. but that's just how luke has made you feel. that's what he's done to you.
he presses one of your legs further down into your chest and begins to roll his hips into yours, abdominal muscles going taut as his eyelids lower to watch it all happen.
"'m close, baby. just a little..." he lets the sentence tailor off without a complete ending but its not necessary. not when his hips twitch and then still and then finally, he's spurting cum into you.
it's a foreign feeling, but in the best possible way. warm and wet, copious amounts, more than you would've expected. you think you felt him fill you out a little more for a second, but you can't even begin to consider that whenever luke pulls out and his cum follows.
you barely mourn the emptiness before luke's speaking to you.
"did so well, angel. but i need one more thing from you." he lowers your legs, kisses the tops of your calves. "push it out 'f me. need to see it, angel."
you do as told, letting his cum drip out and encouraging it a little with your last remnants of energy. luke's breath hitches, and then you flinch when his fingers probe at your entrance.
he apologizes in a soft whisper but continues his exploration. thick fingers sliding in his cum, smearing it over your cunt. when he gets up to your clit, teasing the bud with the newly added slip, you say his name. it's meant to be a warning, but it comes out more as a plea.
either way, he still chuckles through his halfhearted apology.
"can't help it," he reasons.
"just look so pretty with my cum leaking out of you."
3K notes · View notes
twentyninth · 5 months
Text
☆ ❝ 𝐢-𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫. ❞ ⋆ hsr x reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
synopsis. taking your v-card woahh!!!1!!!
warnings. virgin!reader, mirror fucking (or wtv its called, blade's prt), making out (jing yuan's part), nsfw and sex in general idk what else to warn u abt
author's note. bad writing alert barf ew!, also to the people calling me lyn or sea in my inbox i think you guys are funny /pos lol
pairings. blade, jing yuan, luocha, gepard.
Tumblr media
blade likes the idea of him being your first. especially about how innocent you are, it turns him on!! corruption kink go crazy, and definitely when he sees you so dumb on his cock. type of guy to tell you that your hole is made for him, because it is! the way you take him so well.. and especially when it's the first cock you'd ever bounce on?! waa please it makes him so horny, makes him just want even more of you!! his long-lasting stamina doesn't help you out at all from endless rounds of your poor overstimulated hole. the pretty little claw marks on his back from fucking you makes him proud when he looks up to see them in the mirror, he's the first person to ever make you do that, why wouldn't he be proud?
Tumblr media
jing yuan falls in love all over again when he hears you are a virgin. so incredibly happy and smug to be your first. it's up to you if you want it to be vanilla or rough, just forever proud to be someone as precious as you's first. start out probably with a makeout session! probably real messy with it, and slowly his kisses trace down somewhere else.. gives head so well :33, does it messily on purpose and he gladly show off his cum covered tongue and swallow your load infront of you!! the loudest sounds ever too.. especially when he got you bent over his desk just all wet and ready to take in his cock, and letting his cock, be the first inside you!!
Tumblr media
luocha.. hmm.. will make your first the best, will treat you right with his huge cock, probably mostly vanilla, depends when you mentioned to him that you're a virgin, i guess? just takes it slow with you, it's your first time so, he wants to make it at least somewhat romantic, and something you can remember and label it pleasuring. makes sure your pleasure come first. out of everything it's you who matters the most to him, but.. if you really want your first time to be something that you really couldn't walk over, sure. he'll be rough as hell, just if you ask, but when he's really into the moment, you won't be able to slow him down, and will go as rough as he wants to. remembers to sort of apologize after that though.. help
Tumblr media
gepard probably is also a virgin, but it isn't uncommon for him to go lowkey rough. still remembers you are his biggest priority, in terms of pleasure, and in general. just wants you to feel good, let his cock be the first to make you feel like that. probably the kind of guy that jerked off to this kind of moment. just you using his cock for your own pleasure, but he knows you wouldn't really be the type of person to do that. probably that kind of guy to put you into a mating press and just vent out his frustration from work all into thrusting his mean cock into your overstimulated hole!
Tumblr media
i'll probably make a part 2 of this soon !!
2K notes · View notes
noxtivagus · 1 year
Text
hmmm i wna write
#🌙.rambles#T_T how many times do i speak of wants and how many times do i even reach out to them? hdkfajsdfl that said tho i find it interesting how#yk personally for me in doubt there i can find certainty. in silence we can find answers that speak more than words could at times#and we can realize the meaning of life when faced with death#idk all those r pretty obvious in a way bit i like pondering on them a lil deeper n. it's beautiful to me. perhaps rather bittersweet#it's 5 am n i shld be asleep this is likely to be a mess n i'm not gna make any sense hdfkajsdlkfsdj oh my god wtf am i saying#it's in my head the sentiment the sort of color of this thought but i can't write it!! this sucks#i'm a mess rn these r just random musings from a stressed sleep-deprived girl ok#read a belial fic from one of my favorite writers on this site n hdfjalkdfjd OKAY THAT PUT ME INTO EVEN MORE OF A MESS#n so i've been thinking of a lot more stuff too n oh dear my cramps r killing me i am rambling so much at this hour but#made me think about how yk i rlly love characters like that. those that r rather tragic. there's smth so bittersweet abt them#i like a lot of kinds of characters but those too me r really special in a way!!#one time of sad characters i like r those. yk those kind ones#the ones who help n listen n give to others but when it comes to accepting love n something soft for their own self.. Nah#that sort of.. pain is smth that touches me a lot probably bcs i'm similar. i find myself v drawn by it#wishing these characters were real in a way too so i cld. help them in a way. not rlly in a way that i'm responsible for it or its my duty#but. something that makes me so happy is seeing ppl i love. improve n get better. happier. they deserve it so much n#it makes me really happy to even just. contribute even just a little to it. even if i'm not. idk the sun of the sky. not the 1st or fav wtv#even if i'll just be the shadow or the ghost or forgotten n left behind i'm happy enough. w that#i'm crying i shld've wrote this in my notes instead there r sm words in my head that i can't say here#oh fuck#is this one reason why that one song made me so emotional#recently i have been.. denying myself haven't i? hiding. burying my own wants. can't reach out.#i don't fucking understand it's not like i never particularly lacked when it comes to.. yeah? growing up i#no wait it's.. not as simple as that there's a lot of factors i know affect me here. it's a bit overwhelming n.. it hurts.#i can't write anymore here goddamn it i'll write to myself sm words fuck but i'll write them to myself i've alr said more than i should hav#maybe being so used to fiction affected me negatively in a way bcs it seems i can't wholly n completely accept the.. no wait thats enough;;#it hurts but.. i will i absolutely will keep all this to myself. even if it suffocates me inside. i can't. i can't do or. have that#this is a painful realization smth i mentioned earlier's how i wrote the uh. 'reader' YK YH in that story two years ago lmfao 'starlit sky'#& my wol.. my wol is like that. my main oc too. who's basically my self-insert. no way. no fucking way i hate this
1 note · View note
opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months
Text
...
#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again#it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof#is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head#my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the#middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up#like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles.#the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable#bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to#ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on#lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life#anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been#like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i#might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it#i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt#the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective#but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch.#itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work#but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops#not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy#ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day#ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time#ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea#of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i#get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism#ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes#unrelated
3 notes · View notes
martyarchive · 1 year
Text
sorry for being sad on main but i hate my speech patterns + my voice in general so much 🕺
#............................................................................................................................................#.........................................................................................................................................#i am smart but i come off as so ineloquent and childish all the time because i dont think hard before i talk... like i think as im talking#+ i interrupt people its by far my most annoying habit and im very aware of it but ive tried every trick in the book i cant help myself!!!!#+ i know that i CAN talk eloquently i just struggle so much when im actually talking -_- i just say words as they come to me -#- i have no filter everything i say is just stream of consciousnessand im not that smart! i cant regulate how well i think lol#+ i have a speech impairment + its so awful like why meeee#+ i rlly do not like my accent which is a dumb insecurity because like. my accent is objectively fine + i like it on my friends -#- and my family and stuff i just feel like...... i sound so dumb or whatever!!!!! i cant put my finger on it it just really really bugs me#also being insecure abt my accent is so silly because like. im a big nerd i love accents i am an accent enjoyer so why do i hate mine. its-#-just the same as virtually every accent in the world............#i dont know. its a silly insecurity 2 have but my voice rlly bugs me and not in a normal dysphoria way where its toofemme cuz-#- i like my voice sans-hrt. its an okay pitch and stuff i just talk funny...#and i absorb like. turns of phrase + whatnot pretty easily + i dont like it it makes me feel weird lol#also idk i think my speech patterns are annoying. like to me and to others lol!!!!#THE END THANKS 4 READING#delete later
0 notes
satoruhour · 7 months
Note
T!!! do you ever wonder what it’s like to lose your virginity to Gojo? personally, I think he’d be so sweet but he’d tease here and there just to make you cry a little 😋
a/n: fem!reader, discussions of losing virginity (both you & gojo), oral f! receiving, fingering, p -> v sex, praise and soft dom dynamics, protected sex, aftercare
losing v-card w/ gojo i think would be def sweet !!! ok for me theres like two versions: the ver where youre both virgins and losing it to each other and the other where u are the virgin. i would think gojo as a virgin is cute and clueless, but he learns fast enough, BUT when its the two of you being virgins it’s just so adorable bc you guys are still new to this and intimacy feels so weird and stuff. you bump heads the first time you try to kiss, gojo isnt sure what to do past making out
you figure it out together, you both have weird perceptions of what sex was bc you heard it from your friend and gojo sometimes watches p*rn but it doesnt rlly have that same kick. he also doesnt want to hurt you. virgin gojo gasps at everything lol when u first remove ur shirt and he sees your breasts. gasp. removes ur pants and sees u in underwear. gasp. pulls your underwear away from you. loudest gasp known to man. 
compliments you a lot, but sometimes he uses the terms in a weird way “you have such… symmetrical labia, babe!” like WHAT. ? its endearing that hes trying his hardest but also … 😭dude. like i said he learns fast enough but in the dynamic where u are both losing the v-card to each other you two are a lot more reserved and nervous! lots of mistakes, mishaps, you thought u could suck dick but you gagged and you had to take a min against his thigh to just rest. you two talked like his dick wasnt in ur hand the whole time 😭😭 it was funny
even with the penetrative sex, gojo bought like flavoured lube and ate a bit just to try it and youre panicking when he tips his head back and squeezes the lube into his mouth HELPPP like yes its safe to put in ur mouth just … dont. clumsy and a whiner, cums really fast into the condom and pouts when it ends like bitch u didnt even make me cum yet ! apologises profusely and proceeds to eat u out like you deserve. this second time is infinitely better hes getting good!!
okay virgin reader on the other hand .. yes! he would be so sweet (my fav), and be a soft dom but his playful antics and comments sometimes catch you off guard. a lot of dirty talk to ease into it and a lot of praise but also he emphasises for you to tell him if anything hurts or if youre not feeling it any more. is very skillful with his hands and makes you beg long before the real thing
“my hands feel nice, yeah?” as he’s kissing down your body and his hands wander, they stay above the water for quite a while, just feeling you up but once youre comfy youre nodding to him and he says “i need a verbal yes, darling”LIKE STOPPP BEFORE I FALL IN LOVE W U … he cares about ur consent and being vocal in what you want. hums a lot when he sees u in all your glory, smiling to himself when ur shirt first comes off and your perky tits are just begging to be played with. takes his time, a lot of body worship!!! says stuff like “dont be shy, i dont bite.. unless you want me to” to tease you but is so gentle w/ your body
makes u cum first on his tongue too, like at least thrice for u to know what you like in bed, but also to show u that your partner’s pleasure always comes first in the case for guys bc if ure not worshipping and groaning abt ur girls pussy .. what r u even doing atp? is pretty lenient when giving you oral with u as a virgin, doesnt want to overwhelm you so his ministrations are slow. hes also still getting to know your body, what makes u cum and the sensitive parts on ur body, “oh…? you like it when i do that?”, “does my sweetness like my fingers in her?”, “pussy looks so perfect, doing so well” is pretty goofy for your first time, sometimes cracking jokes in between too.
also deprives u of ur orgasm just to see how youd react to it since its ur first time and will apologise with kisses. u wouldnt put it past him to do it again when ure more familiar tho but since this is an introduction to ur body of some sorts he’ll be nice <3 doesnt let u suck him off on the first, always, he’s prioritising you
talks you through as he slips in. before when he was hooking up and fucking around he never liked to fuck people who are virgins just cause he doesnt like to see the pain on their face. it hurts, a lot, you have to admit, and gojo lets you take all the time in the world to scratch at his back, hold onto his arms, breathing with you as he inserts his cock inch by inch. satoru on the other hand is.. going insane by his standards. u just feel so warm and tight inside he has to do everything not to slam into you, and while he hates that the tears at the corner of ur eyes was bc of him, he’s desperate to see you crying in pleasure next time
“that’s it, baby, you need to breathe.”, “bottomin’ out soon, you okay?”, “good job, sweets, you took all of me!” does the jokes even thru penetrative sex just to see you laugh. the first thrusts r also pretty painful or rather uncomfortable, gojo kisses you to distract you from the pain when his hips move, “it’ll lessen soon okay? you’ll be moaning soon enough” you trust gojo, nodding into the kiss before your pussy’s pretty much accustomed to his dick in you and the pleasure settles in and hes all “there we go…” hes grinning so largely it scares you a little but his hips pick up pace just a bit more and youre having the time of your life. praise praise praise !!! so much of it. you’re cumming soon enough and gojo tries to memorise the way ur pussy feel bc he doesnt want to push u past ur limit, but is surprised after when you change positions and start riding him, hiding your shy face in his neck
teehee. it takes a while to get better ofc, gojo is rlly big that u still need time to adjust but that first time will always stick w you bc of how caring he was 💟 did aftercare like a pro too, cleaned you up in his bathroom, washed your hair and let you wash his body, wiggled his eyebrows and teased you about having shower sex, lots of kissing in the shower and everything was very soft. u slept like a baby that night
1K notes · View notes
simplyjake · 3 months
Text
Enha hyungs w / idol!reader !!
summary: tbh its pretty self explanitory, fem!reader
a/n guys maybe at one point ill write for maknae line but also idk so dont hold me to it, not proof-read
Heeseung
Let’s say ur in aespa
So rmbr the drama challenge they did
Instead of winter it was you and karina right
OUUUU ik he was giggling when you asked him to do the challenge with you
At the end of the challenge he puts his arm around u 
He looks at u like you hung the stars one by one
Heeseung pls this is gonna be posted later
ITS WORSE AT AWARD SHOWS
When you are on screen performing 
He has the biggest heart eyes and a slight smile pls
Its like he dgaf if yall get caught
Definitely interacts with you in public when he can
He wants to see all those ship edits
Invites you to his concerts and you invite him to yours
Once bought like 500 albums so he can get all of ur pcs and inclusions
Ur honor he was being silly!
And in luv w you!!!
Jay
Okay stayc member i see u
He learns how to play ur songs on guitar
Such a cute supportive bf
You guys have sm matching things tgt
Phone cases, hats, jewelry and more
Surprisingly no one has caught on yet.
He lurks on stayc twt for updates when hes away on tour
Even tho he can just text u himself
You accidentally left your jay signed album in the open on live
EVERYONE WAS FREAKING OUT
“Omfg yall since when did y/n and jay know each other”
” Wait but the signed album? Do yall rmbr when we caught them w matching hats but no one batted an eye WHAT ABT THIS”
Call jake for the dating rumor damage control selfie
Anyways he has all ur albums and you have all his
He found out you voted for him during Iland days and sobbed
Staycs number 1 fan, will fight ANYONE for that title
JAKE
Worse than heeseung when it comes to hiding things
Oh lord here we go
“My girl- i mean my friend” its rover.
On live streams he uses this to promote your group without looking suspicious 
“Have you guys heard le sserafims comeback? It’s so good”
“Oh Y/n? Yeah her part was amazing as well”
When he sings your part of the song it has u blushing on the other end of the phone
Once you were on a live, you forgot to let jake know
You were showing some photos that youre gonna post on instagram and all of a sudden
Is this love by Bob Marley aka the ringtone you have for jake
And his contact name “yunie<3” pops up
Quickly you decline the call and look sheepishly to the camera
Hoons time to do the selca damage control.
He accidentally liked a y/njake post on twt on the main acc tho
Ruh roh 
Sunghoon
Definition of nonchalant 
Nonchalant king if u will
Well besides that one time when he was mcing
And your group purple kiss was with him and wony
He was definitely getting side eyed by the fandom after sending you quick glances and a smile!!
Other than that baby hes an illusion
He dont know you
Well at least to the cameras, he doesnt know you
Otherwise hes the sweetest bf to ever bf
Sends you flowers to your dressing room after performances
Always claps whenever you guys win an award
Once a camera was pointed on him at an award show during your song
But he pointed to ur group telling them to focus on yall instead
UGH i love supportive bf hoon!!
Ofc your one of enhas biggest supporters as well
No one knows this but you have a secret sunghoon fan acc
He thinks its cute, a way to publicly say u love him
Without it actually being public yk
430 notes · View notes
writingstoraes · 10 months
Text
tour guide 🎥
pairing: charles leclerc/fem!actress!reader
type: instagram imagine, social media au
notes: saw the post abt apex filming at silverstone this week and got this idea lol lmk what u guys think! atp you already know who my fc is (it's hailee steinfeld 😝)
about: a well-known actress stars in a film that is set in the world of formula 1 and scuderia ferrari happens to be the leading team to guide the production team and its cast!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya, madelyncline, and 1,249,247 others
yourusername Film prep starts now. Currently glad my parents forced me into getting my driver's license as early as I could as well as my brother introducing me to Formula 1 years ago 🏁
Beyond excited for this movie!
allhailyn WE LOVE U QUEEN WE CANT WAIT
filmthusiast this is such a new role for her im so excited
f1lover film + f1 is always going to be the biggest bestest combo ❤️
lecsluv LMAOOO NOT CHARLES LIKING THIS
zendayyn mans a fan norrisbaby Oh hes quick 😆
Tumblr media
yourusername recently added to her instagram story!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
yourusername recently added to her instagram story!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari, pierregasly, and 1,482,2058 others
yourusername 3/4 done with filming for First Gear 🤍 So much work has been done for this movie and it's been the good kind of overwhelming so far. I've learned so much and experienced so many new things.
Included the one and only charles_leclerc here because majority of the things I learned came from him. He's pretty nice except he was beyond nervous when I drove the car for the first time.
scuderiaferrari We're glad to know Charles was the best tour guide ever! ❤️
lecsmmylove NOT FERRARI STICKING WITH THE TOUR GUIDE DESCRIPTION???
hamilfilm charles leclerc making his way into y/n's official ig account is not something i have on my bingo card
popgirltay u guys r so cute <3 friendship goals!
livelovelecs no, dating announcement next LOLOL
charles_leclerc Why do I seem like the bad guy here, I taught you pretty well didn't I?
yourusername I didn't say you were a bad teacher 😕
Tumblr media Tumblr media
charles_leclerc
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari, and 1,102,358 others
charles_leclerc Everyday's karting day 🚘
lecsferrari the red nails??? sir u aint slick who is that
sainzmclaren It's Y/N 😭 She posted karting pics today too
yourusername What do you have to say for yourself that you lost?
charles_leclerc I let you win, jolie 😁 Pretty. ferarrimercs HE CALLED HER PRETTY?????
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya, kendall, and 1,395,299 others
yourusername The student has become the teacher 😎
charles_leclerc Anyone would win if they were fighting kids on track
yourusername I sense sore loser 😝
leclercsyn TOO CUTE IM GONNA COMBUST
scuderiaferrari ❤️❤️❤️
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya, florencepugh, and 2,034,551 others
yourusername Feeling so emotional that filming for a movie that holds a special place in my heart has come to an end 🤍 I am so ecstatic for all of you to see First Gear because everyone involved put everything they had for this film. I hope you guys love this as much as I do, possibly more.
So many people to thank — the directors, producers, scriptwriters, my co-stars, everyone who's worked so hard to make this into reality, I owe you all so much.
But I also never thought I'd meet someone so special. Charles, this past year for us have been so crazy and I'm glad I got to spend it with you. If it helps, the moment they told me you would be giving me a tour of the paddock, I fell instantly 😝
leclercsyn MY PARENTS AAAAA IM SCREAMING
scuderiaferrari We are so proud of you, Y/N ❤️ The whole team is waiting for the movie!
charles_leclerc What do you mean if it helps, I was literally sweating while telling you what a pitwall is
lecslover HES SO FUNNYHTBHRHB
charles_leclerc
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, ynleclercs16, pierregasly, and 1,673,992 others
charles_leclerc Most talented person I've come across. Watching you on set has become one of my favorite things to do; it reminds me of just how amazing you are. To more karting sessions with you ❤️
Sincerely,
Your paddock tour guide
lecshamilton hes owning the tour guide title, mad respect
sainzlove I AM MELTINGGGGG
f1luvr power couple me thinks?
yourusername Get ready to lose 🥱
--------
tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy
notes: why i take so much time making these ill never understand anyway i hope u guys like this hehehe thank you sm for reading <3
2K notes · View notes
chuuya-kisser · 27 days
Text
THEORY TIME THEORY TIME
ok. so. first of all FYODOR FCKIN DOSTOEVSKY I LIKE U AND ALL BUT???? REMAIN DEAD??? U JESUS FR??
ANYWAYS ignoring that
so bc i adore skk to hell and back obviously im gonna explore their dynamic first
what kills me is how familiar they are with each other. they arent insulting each other in every sentence, which is still alright. and what struck me the most is how much dazai seems to trust chuuya. more so than anyone.
so far we know that dazai isn't exactly the most open person around. his entire cheerful joking persona is a facade, a fake. what you see is usually only what he wants to show you. his real emotions? ive only seen them very rarely, if at all. now look at these
Tumblr media
the way chuuya says what he does implies that he is already used to this habit of dazai's, which is only possible if dazai did this in his mafia days, AND even then, he was open and willing enough to let chuuya see it and know that dazai was anxious. which means that even before mersault, before dazai left the mafia, he and chuuya atleast were that close that the usually closed-off, know-everything demon prodigy could show his worry to his partner, multiple times.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i think that over here, dazai really isnt hiding his emotions. you can see the shock and worry on his face and in his eyes clearly as he puts the pieces together. not only that, hes also laying out parts of his plan to chuuya, in addition to his theories. which he rarely does unless im wrong about that (its possible). he isnt worried about chuuya using his emotions and weaknesses against him, because he trusts him enough, although i think the trust between them was already shown when both of them fake-killed each other.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
its easy to see the panic in his eyes, and personally i feel that this is him showing a bit of weakness, which is perfectly alright. the thing is that again, hes letting chuuya see this. I very much doubt that he would have let down his facade enough to show this to absolutely anyone else.
Tumblr media
also the poor guy literally looks so stressed out here give him a goddamn break asagiri
aaaaand now chuuya.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
now what strikes me is that even in the last chapter/s, chuuya has multiple times tried to reassure dazai that fyodor is indeed dead to try and calm down dazai's worries. this can also be him also wanting a damn break but anyways.
Tumblr media
and these panels. while many ppl are agreeing that hes just sitting there being a pretty boy while dazai tows through helicopter debris (and i agree), and definitely chuuyas sadistic streak when it comes to dazai is showing itself clearly, its often been seen in both the official arts and animanga that whenever working together, chuuya always covers dazai's blind spots.
think about it. dazai has his back turned towards everything. if someone launched a surprise attack on him at this moment, the chances of him dodging, finding out abt it in time is pretty low. chuuya is directly behind dazai. i got this idea from another post i saw, but what if this is also chuuya covering for dazai yet again? protecting him?
anyways thats it folks maybe ill make another post on jesus- i meant fyodor soon
291 notes · View notes