#its like. my personal experiences with reality stuff rn (tried not to get to bad into my paranoia tho) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

azucanela · 4 years

Note

ack anon with the dress hcs here- tysvm for those!! my heart~ ok so another random idea i just needed to share but bakugou/deku/todoroki first frenchie kiss with their s.o. and neither of them have much experience 😖 lots of fluffy awkwardness y'know? idk. again go ahead and add on but don't stress yourself!

FRENCH KISSES WITH THEIR S/O [GN!HEADCANNONS]

[ft. bakugo katsuki, izuku midoriya, todoroki shouto]

SUMMARY: someone decides to bring of french kissing and as expected; its chaotic.

WORD COUNT: french kissing? nothing explicit, very mildly suggestive

WARNINGS: kissing, maybe second hand embarrassment but i doubt it, awkward situations

A/N: my search history is “how to french kiss now” which is the main reason i held off on doing this one ajkshdkjah also this is my first time writing for our boy deku so uhhhh be kind to me, also anon you are now dress anon also i tried something new because i couldn’t bring myself to write full scenarios also i can’t write for midoriya i TRIED BUT I THINK HIS IS BAD

BAKUGO KATSUKI

HEADCANNONS + MINI SCENARIO

lol this is funny

THIS

this is peak comedy right here

hes gonna be so embarrassed but hes gonna try to act like hes completely unaffected by everything that is going on

i feel like he knows what french kissing is and has definitely thought about french kisses with you but he would never bring it up because it embarrassing for him

he might just randomly try it and place you in a complete state of shock, like y’all are just making out and— whoops would you look at that somehow you two are now french kissing! wonder how that happened...

if you ask him he will flat out deny you the first time around because he is embarrassed, but keep trying!! after a few attempts he’s gonna claim to be annoyed but it’s actually because he wants to

“Hey Katuski, you know what we should do—”

Bakugou slams the textbook that laid on his lap shut, a sound reverberating through the library the two had gone two, which earned him a strict glare from the librarian seated at the front desk. His eyes narrowed as they look to Y/N, “if you say French kissing, I swear I will break up with you right now.”

Despite his harsh words, Y/N can see the pink blush that dusts his cheeks as they lean forward on their arm, tilting their head at him innocently as they reply, “actually, I was thinking we could go see a movie later.” Their words only worsen the blush on Bakugou’s cheeks, causing him to snap his head away in an attempt to salvage some of his reputation, “but that works too.”

“Shut up you damn nerd.” The boy grumbles, brows furrowing as he leans back in his seat, looking away as he says, “if it’ll get you to stop asking then I guess we can try it.” Y/N is about to open their mouth to reply but Bakugou quickly adds, “only once though! Damn nerd...”

A grin finds its way onto Y/N’s face and they nod slowly, “great.”

“I hate you.”

honestly i feel like he would lowkey be bad at it the first time around and bakugou is the type of person where if he tries something and isn’t good at it immediately he either avoids this activity entirely or tirelessly works to improve his skill

luckily for you this happens to be a skill that bakugou wants to improve, alot because for some reason you wanted to try this and if he’s not good at it then whats the point

regardless the first time around is like a solid 6.75/10 sorry bakugou oops, you tried, but i feel like he’s already a really like aggressive and like harsh kisser so this is just gonna make things a mess

he can be soft sometimes tho i swear

i feel like he would get good at it after some ~practice~ but even then its a rare occurrence to french kiss with bakugou, its really intimate and he saves it for special occasions or when hes bored lol

IZUKU MIDORIYA

HEADCANNONS + MINI SCENARIO

THIS ONE

OH YOU ARE GOING TO KILL HIM WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND DO THIS like apologize, apologize rn for the stress you are about to cause him

if you try to initiate a french kiss with izuku here, you NEED to tell him ahead of time or else things will go south very very fast. he’s going to panic because this is new and he does not understand what is happened oh my-

give him a heads up whenever you want to try something new, so when you pull this while kissing him he’s going to pull away like what a r e you d o i n g

once you tell him he’s gonna be like let’s do this tomorrow, and then will spend the rest of the day RESEARCHING how to french kiss properly, like he’s on wikihow and everything this boy wants to treat you right and is going to make sure you enjoy it

which is when when y’all finally french kiss he is going to be good at it okay, he’ll learn every strategy possible and then he will be a PRO like you’re probably going to be shocked for a hot minute because wait when did he have the time to get good at this—

you’re definitely his first partner and he had no experience prior to you but he trained himself because going into any anything blind and without a plan places him in a state of distress

this was a PLANNED EVENT it was like a date except without all the date stuff just french kissing, like he texts you “hey lets try that thing you wanted to try...” all shy and stuff like he literally took five minutes to actually send the text, and you are trying to figure out what that thing is because deku do you mean like the coffee shop ?? what ??

you make him specify and he nearly dies but its fine its fine, when he finally gets his point across you’re like okay! cool!

overall its a pretty nice experience, i feel like he would be really gentle with you per usual but it was also probably really awkward like homeboy fr sat you down on the bed and just stared at you with bright red cheeks for like

a really hot minute

Y/N brow raised as they stared at Izuku, who’s eyes had pierced into their head since they’d sat down. Oddly enough, Y/N found his meticulous planning of this to just make the situation more awkward, it had done nothing to relieve the burning sensation in their cheeks. But Y/N had a feeling that only one of them could flustered about this or else everything would fall apart rather quickly. It had also been their idea in the first place so, there was that factor too.

“Are you alright, Izuku—”

“FINE. I—I’m fine, I mean.” He cleared his throat as he sat across from them, his cheeks a bright red color as Y/N tilted their head at his antics.

A small laugh escaped them, “If you don’t want to do this Izuku, we don’t have to.” He’d always been easily flustered, so Y/N couldn’t say his reaction came as a shock, but he’d agreed to it nonetheless just yesterday.

This seemed to bring the boy back to reality as he shook his head, “no... I want to.” He straightened in his seat, looking away from Y/N as he tried to collect himself.

A grin spread across Y/N’s face as they leaned closer to Izuku, “fantastic.” Their words only served to fluster Izuku further, though Y/N could feel their cheeks warming as well.

“Right.”

french kissing will not be a regular occurrence, izuku feels embarrassed whenever it happens, he gets shy, all around a very rare thing for him that will only occur if you initiate it, but PLEASE let him know ahead of time, he needs to mentally prepare himself

he enjoys it though

hehe

TODOROKI SHOUTO

HEADCANNONS + MINI SCENARIO

why am i laughing rn

okay but like shouto probably discovers it online entirely by accident or like hears kaminari talking about it and decides he should educate himself because hes fluent in french and knows alot about the culture of france because of all the tutors his father hired so why doesn’t he know what this elusive french kissing his?

shouto is also fluent in kissing he honestly just really enjoys kissing you, he doesn’t know why but its probably because hes touch starved and just likes intimacy like that but he never really knew how much he liked physical touch until he actually experience it [in a positive way] and also you are SOFT :D

regardless shouto is the one who brings it up and honestly you are gonna be shocked because how did this clueless bb find out about that??? sir??? who is teaching you these things?

“You want to do what?”

Y/N couldn’t help the shock that flooded them as they stared at their boyfriend, Shouto Todoroki, who sat with his legs crossed before them on the bed as he replied, “French kissing.” The boy in question repeated, tilting his head at them as he watched her reaction.

Y/N shook their head in an attempt to clear their thoughts as they looked back up at him, meeting his eyes, “who taught you about that?” In the past, Y/N had been forced to explain... certain subjects to Shouto because of things he’d overheard in conversations or seen online. Sometimes it was entirely innocent and other times, well it wasn’t. This time around, it seemed Shouto had took it upon himself to learn, rather than asking Y/N.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant.” Come his response, brows furrowing at her question, “however, if its not something you’re interested in then—”

“I didn’t say that!” And Y/N couldn’t help how their cheeks warmed at how quickly they cut him off, hands coming to their face in embarrassment.

the internet and unintentionally kaminari, or maybe intentionally

he doesn’t do any research in fact, he might not even bring it up, next time he sees you in a private space, he’s just gonna start kissing you and you’re probably gonna be like aight bet thats chill this is normal

UNTIL he just grabs your thigh and in the shock your mouth gapes open and SHOUTO STRIKES

honestly i feel like he would be ridiculously good at french kissing for no reason, i don’t know why, i have no explanation, he’s just good at it

its a talent

of all the boys he is the least embarrassed he has no shame, its just natural curiosity right? whatever happens happens. it is literally so annoying how UNFAZED HE IS

probably really liked it because hes a touchy kinda guy, so this will become a more frequent thing when you two are in private, he just enjoys it

TAGLISTS[lmk if you wanna be added or removed via asks or replies]

#bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #deku x reader #shouto x reader #shoto x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki shoto x reader

1K notes · View notes

bogkeep · 3 years

Text

hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately

so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on... there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion’ when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !

#rambles #i wrote this for me and theres no obligation to read it

32 notes · View notes

umnvatra · 3 years

Text

About Zhongli's state in the game right now..

I just want to vent(?) and let out my thoughts about this whole ordeal as a Zhongli simp. Take note that if you are someone who has Zhongli or wants Zhongli/is planning to roll for Zhongli and wants to read this post, be prepared. Because as much as i hate to say it, this one is gonna be harsh. I wish it wasn't, but the truth really hurts and is also something that i struggled to accept sjdjdjchsk

Ngl i'm probably going to get hands thrown at me because of this post but i really, really want to vent about what Mihoyo did to his character. This week has been a roller coaster when it comes to Zhongli. From being super excited for his release, being elated getting him, to being absolutely devastated at all the comments and information that had come out prior to his release.

Basically, as a 5*, Zhongli is very underpowered and underwhelming. This is something i hadn't noticed myself because my Zhongli still didn't have a proper build and weapon yet, but when i did, i felt my own happiness plummet at the weight of the reality.

I don't care if he is strong as a support or a dps, and no i don't want him to necessarily be good at being dps. But this will include a lot of stuff regarding damage because he is a five star with nuking potential. It's also this way because he is THAT underpowered. Even having him be a very good support would be a blessing, but as it goes, he is not.

First it was the comments in Youtube videos, arguing with each other about how bad/good he was. Those comments made me question a lot of things. But i felt absolutely crushed when Jinx and Tuner uploaded their stream of their Zhongli and Xinyan testing.

For those that don't know, Jinx and Tuner run a youtube channel where they test many things in Genshin and provide objective information about them based on the results of their testing. When i saw how incredibly disappointed and frustrated they were with Zhongli, i felt really, really sad. After all, they provide maths. Not only are they one of the genshin youtubers that i trust but they also study characters closely and tell you if a particular 5 star character is worth pulling for or not. And you guessed it, they concluded that Zhongli was NOT worth pulling for as a five star character because he is so heavily underpowered.

Then there comes the arguements presented.

Majority of people thought that Zhongli was going to be more of a support character rather than dps, and i could see why, but ironically he has more potential as a phys carry. And this information comes from the testing that Jinx and Tuner made.

However

Xiangling is still a better physical carry than Zhongli especially when you take into account the abilities she can use while attacking. Zhongli's pillar has questionable energy recharge generation, something that i too had noticed. Every tick of the pillar does NOT guarantee an energy, and it drove me crazy. Meanwhile you have Xiangling who can easily bring out energy with Guoba if she so wanted.

And you need C6 Zhongli in order for him to heal like Noelle too by the way. And Noelle is a 4* that is guaranteed on your first time playing the game. 👁

Zhongli's shield is good for sure, but then you have Noelle who can shield + heal. In terms of stuff being done, Noelle's is better. Zhongli's shield is strong yes, but it can STILL disappear after one or two hits from enemies (at least from our experience in higher AR. I have no idea if the same applies to lower AR).

Now for his meteor. Yes, his meteor is good. Not only is it spammable, but it deals great damage as well. BUT THEN you have Ningguang who can be a better burst spam and possibly deal more damage than his could do (remember, Ning has a lot of jades that could each deal 1k if built properly). The duration for petrification is 3 seconds too, which, a lot of people argue isn't enough time (personally, i have no problem with this since i do not mind it much). And apparently his meteor got nerfed because it does not increase geo damage and phys damage as it used to in the beta testing with petrification.

How about his ability in being able to break shields by holding E? Truth be told, i expected that he was going to be able to explode all shields in one go, but it does not work for every one of them apparently. Shields by hilichurls do break with just one E hold. But the ones by Mitachurls don't. I also tried breaking the Geo Hypostasis's pillar using his E hold and it did not break immediately. This could differ however. 👁 I'm still not sure if its because i have not properly built him right for breaking them or not. And about Stonehide Lawachurls... it's the same as the Geo Hypostasis pillar. The geo shield does not break immediately.

I'm not saying all this because i am mad at Zhongli. Rather, i am disappointed at what Mihoyo did to him. I am absolutely happy to get Zhongli. He is the one character i had been looking forward to for MONTHS. I saved resources in advance for him and even held off on leveling up my current team so i could dump all said resources on him when i get him. I stayed as AR35 for many many weeks because i wanted to level him up properly before ascending my World Rank. I think he is super fun to use especially with his burst and i absolutely adore the animation and when he crosses his arms and does his 'osmanthus tea' monologue at the most random times with his lil hand gestures. Even just listening to his voice while being idle fills me with so much happiness. There is so much joy in getting him. Which is why i am very disappointed at Mihoyo for how they butchered his character.

After Jinx and Tuner made their video about the results of their testing with Zhongli, i was genuinely saddened but i gradually came to accept the truth. It sucks, it hurts, but it is the truth. Even they said that they wanted Zhongli to be a GOOD character, but he is just insanely underpowered right now. You can invest resources into him and make him work, but compared to 4* and the other 5*, it takes so much effort. To make him decent, you'd have to level his stuff up so much but that also applies to four star characters and they perform better than him. Husbando > meta yes, but i gotta say that it still stings when my underleveled Xiangling and Fischl could do a much better job being a dps and support respectively than him when he's many levels above them.

Which brings me to the main point of this post.

Why was Mihoyo scared of making him strong? OP? Why did they nerf him so much? He is a 5* character Mihoyo, make him be STRONG at something. It's why he's a five star. But no. They watered him down so much to the point where even four star characters can do his own job better than him. His pillar doesn't even deal damage upon being destroyed just like Geo MC's. The range of his pillar's resonance is too small, and given the fact that his auto attacks can push enemies (except for the bigger ones of) or can be easily walked out of range to is 👁👄👁

And it deals criminally low damage. Like, why? Why not rack up the numbers? What is the problem????

The more i think about it, the more i can see the points that people have been pointing out. If the issue of energy generation with his pillar is RNG based, then that's simply screwed up. It already adds into the lists of problems that doesn't help with how underpowered he is. And as i am writing this post rn, there are lots and lots of Chinese players enraged about how weak he is as a 5* and causing HUGE fights in forums. People in the genshin subreddit had been debating again and again over heated arguements about his abilities. Even if you visit the genshin subreddit today and check every post about Zhongli, you will see people in the comments mention stuff about how he performs in the game and his abilities.

Mihoyo, give him a buff. I know that giving buffs isn't your thing, but there is honestly thousands and thousands of people expressing their disappointment and anger in how weak you've made him. He is a fan favorite. I love him. Majority of the genshin fanbase do. His character is really good and it hecking sucks that he is having major difficulties in fitting in on the game right now. He deserves better. Make him strong. Buff him. Adjust some of his abilities. Literally give. our. geo. dad. justice.

Those who don't care about damage is probably rolling their eyes at my rant rn but given how objectively weak he is compared to the other characters in game, it won't hurt if he gets a buff.

When the survey for Zhongli and Xinyan comes, rate him low. I know. It sucks. It's despicable. Even i hate it. But that is why we have to do it. If we become honest to Mihoyo about how much weak they made him, then maybe they are going to consider buffing or adjusting his abilities.

I'm sorry for the negative post. There is still hope for geo dad. He is incredibly fun to use but if you are debating on whether to pull for him or not, my answer would be

If you absolutely love him as a character, go for it.

Otherwise, just wait for now. Because his state in the game isn't looking so good at the moment.

For those that already have him and are also disappointed or saddened by what happened, take comfort in knowing that tons of people are still using Zhongli (including me who went through such roller coaster of emotions lmaoaoaoa) regardless of the information that he is behind in terms of being a dps and support. And that there is still hope for him (WAIT FOR THE SURVEY AND RATE HIM LOW YO 😭😭😭 IT WON'T GUARANTEE THAT MIHOYO IS GONNA BUFF HIM BUT WITH ALL THE PEOPLE RAGING RN THERE IS A HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT THEY WILL LOL)

Have some goofy screenshots that i took while playing as Schlongli

#[nanderthal.]#genshin impact #genshin impact zhongli #zhongli #hang in there my lovelies 😭😭#i hate it too but sjfjshfoehdoshs #our hope lies in the surveys #and the rage; ironically enough #other than that if you really want to use him then go for it 🥺#there is no one stopping you #he is super fun to play after all!!#he just deserves better goddamnit mihoyo 👁😭#give us that OP petrification #or even better pillars #anYTHING MIHOYO

24 notes · View notes

startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

Text

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

1 note · View note

realdeadlovin · 3 years

Text

and i feeeeel like, im sleeping when im NOT!

welp

brian has been visiting and weve been cuddling/ having sex. it seems chill?

i wont say there wasn’t a part of me that thought maybe something cuddly would happen // that I would want it, though i didnt expect to be like sorta so quickly back to sleeping together // being super touchy and flirty and all that.

sula is sitting on a newspaper.

but anyways. i knew that i was craving human contact and also that i was feeling affectionate towards brian and excited to see him. not that those things need to = cuddling but im not super surprised that that ended up being something i wanted. i am surprised how into it im feeling // into him. i dont know that that means anything overall, its not news that im capable of having feelings for brian, its just interesting and not what i expected.

been drinking a lot, more than i have in a while and i think also more than he has in a while. thats kinda a bummer though its been fun. i wont say like, enabling bc that implies hes the one with the problem not me, which isn’t true, but it makes me worry that like idk, that isn’t a healthy influence on each other and i feel like im leaning into that too hard bc idk, drinking w brian is familiar and fun and i miss having a drinking buddy instead of feeling self conscious and like everyone around me has no temptation around alcohol at all and i feel bad about myself. but it feels bad bc i feel like im back in that sorta place of like, “eventually ill get this more under control’ and rn that “eventually” is when brians gone, not cause its his fault, but bc its an imaginary deadline. and like, when hes gone it’ll be harder for me to have like a lot of alcohol around the house and not drink it all. but rn i feel like im drinking more than him, and am also doing it when hes not here (like tonight) bc the more i drink the more i want to drink, like sex. the more i have the more i want til it gets a lil outta control.

but anyways. i could analyze if the feelings ive been having for brian mean anything in the long term but meh. i have tried to check myself on like, am i being reckless with this persons feelings who I have hurt in the past? am I using him bc I am starved for human contact and it feels nice and validating to be loved? but, the emotional reality feels mutual in the moment like i feel like i love him too, it doesn’ tjust feel indulgent. it feels like i think hes cute and funny and loving in nature and i enjoy being around him. which, as before, somehow feels weird bc i feel like the second things got more ~official~ all the things that anger me about him// all our differences would rise to the surface. somehow i feel less afraid of that than before, but also it doesn’t feel like ... thats something i should contend with if i dont have to &that isn’t what this is or the road to go down. buuut i feel like last time things started i was like “woo that sex was fun but isn’t leading anywhere serious!” and brian was like nah i wanna be with you and shit got all intense and yeah. which is why checkin in feels good, to make sure i not just being naive and telling myself the narrative convenient for me. idk whatever. im gonna b a paralegal and have a 9-5 office job in tucson arizona what the heck in the jeck.

well, the good news is i haven’t been thinking about brian wolford anymore, but taht feels like it stopped before satterwhite // isn’t directly related. i dont know hwo that stopped but it feels like it just somehow purged itself.

I dunno, I’ve been feeling good, and I’m like, why have I been feeling good? which is a weird question to ask but so, I won’t question it.

****interject with **** sooo I wrote something here about processing border violence and verbal processing and I don’t know where I put it??? errk***

oh, while i was walking aorund before processing violence, i was also processing some stuff w/ semra and brian before brian and i had our first thing? i wonder if I haev ever truly explained the emotional experience of being with semra. but, and again I’ve said thsi before, I feel like... I have, and sophie hasn’t listened? I think brian and sarah perceived it a lot better than sophie. sophie has seemed avoidant of the topic when ive brought it up in some ways. i was a little struck by when i was talking about it and i mentioned looking up the emotional abuse checklist she was like “oh woah I didn’t know you had looked that up” and I think I felt like.. I have referred to this relationship as abusive and I think youve like balked at/ avoided responding to that. and it had felt weird.

see now, stuff like this, I do wonder like if I analyze interactions and relationships a lot more than other people and///or if I like, being quieter and less expressive, tend to just like have a lot more things bottled up than others? like I still have a fair amount of like angst about when things were bad w/ me and sophie. mostly I feel upset about when she said that her perception was that like, I was in a bad place but taht I was like “too far gone” or beyond reach. she kinda mentioned something about that today and i was like. yea, even though things are good with us I still like feel some anger when I think about that. but I also feel like a friend hypocrite cause I’m like, did I express my concern her first year of teaching? or rather... was I concerned? or just angry and upset that she was not fun to be around. like am I just only always selfish and think about things in terms of how they affect me. and my anger can be just and well placed but I don’t have the same self awareness. and my guilt, when i feel it, is ill placed too and based in insecurity more than genuine concern. this feels true.

but like I mean, that dynamic of feeling like I have years-old qualms or angst in my close relationships---- feels like other people dont have that ?? like Lore feeling like everything is great between us and thers no conflict when I’m having like complicated feelings about her dominating me in conversations and failing to actually listen to me. liek its like do I have this victim complex or something or lead myself into these dynamics, and then other people seem to just like, have these simple joy in friendships. liiiike. not that other people dont have complicated feelings about friendships i get that they do. but i just feel like sometimes i find myself being like I’ve been really analyzing and in my angst about this like, dynamic that is just like, what is a great and easy friendship in my life!

0 notes

someobscurereference · 7 years

Note

ok so assuming somehow circumstances permitted, consider a scenario where the awakening trio finally opens up about their past. how do you think the royals react? does it change the dynamics between them @ all? i feel like it would @ least make the trio feel closer to them, like more comfortable going to them if they wanted to talk about any past-related issues (trauma, nightmares, etc.) Also i cant help thinking of odin just dramatically being like "well the enemy was approaching so I (1/2)

decided to cut the bridge and stay behind”/Niles and Leo: yOU WHAT/Laslow: no its ok I decided to stay behind with him I would never leave a friend to die alone/xandar: D: im sorry you wHAT? ALSO I think about that line from ur fic where odin is like “that was our second dragon” bc one of the trio def says that and everyone just :O idk I just feel like the sheer amount of horrible things that happened to the trio would be shocking even for the nohrian royals bc it IS a lot (2/2)

Anon, u and i are always on the same wavelength, so I’m warning u to buckle up now, because this is gonna be a long one.

I’m going to preface this by saying I don’t know how Owain and Inigo could have had that bridge experience if the Trio in FE14 is supposed to be the same as the kids you recruit in the main FE13 storyline. The bridge experience is specifically used for the FE13 DLC in an alternate reality where those kids never go back in time (i.e. those are a different timeline’s children). The Owain and Inigo we know in the main FE13 never had that experience, as if you do deploy them in that DLC, they will comment that this did happen in their world but things were never that bad and they never had to cut the bridge. The Trio in FE14 is pretty heavily implied to be from the main storyline.

And yet???? Odin still is afraid of bridges because of that event???? I think I asked that once and somebody said it could just be the trauma of watching his alternate self nearly die that’s affecting him because he realized how badly things could have gone. And that’s possible and probably the truth. But I don’t know for sure and I never will and I think about this a lot. (Selena and Laslow reference Harvest Scramble and Hot Spring DLC, so they’ve gotta be the main timeline kids who fought with Chrom)

For the sake of this answer, I’m going to pretend the Trio in FE14 is the same as FE13 but they did have that bridge experience first-hand. It’s not canon, I think, but it just makes everything easier to think about (for me).

Moving on, I think the only time the Trio would admit they were from another world would be after Anankos was defeated because it wouldn’t have to be so secret anymore (even though it’s also like?? technically illegal from an inter-dimensional standpoint, lmao). Straight up, after Anankos is defeated, I think the exhaustion and happiness would get to them, and I just think it’d be really funny for Selena, who was the strictest about keeping their status a secret, to be the one to let the truth slip.

(I’m probably??? Gonna end up putting a lot of tiny snippets of things in here to expand on them more and here’s a super short, rushed one now:)

The dust settled. Corrin stood at the far end of the hall, chest heaving. The minion Selena had been battling had disappeared right as she swung. Now the rest of the army was picking themselves off the ground.

Selena pressed the tip of her sword into the cracked floor and leaned on it. Gods, she was tired. But Anankos was gone. She could feel it in the air. She knew what defeating a dragon was like. The crackle, the energy, the shadow hanging on all their shoulders— it was gone. Anankos was gone.

“Hell yeah,” she muttered to herself. There was dirt in her mouth, ew. “Killed another dragon. Did you see that, mom?”

There was no response from her mother, of course. She was dead and gone, and even when she wasn’t, she was still worlds away.

Selena did get a response from someone else though.

Something shift to her left. The sound of an ax hitting the ground. Selena turned.

“What,” Camilla said flatly.

And then Selena tries to cover up her tracks and only makes it worse and in the end, it doesn’t matter anymore, so the truth comes out. Laslow and Odin never let her live it down.

I feel like the Nohrian royals (besides Elise) always kinda knew? On some level? That the Trio was Different. Because they’re not exactly subtle. (Not that their minds jumped to “inter-dimensional travel”, of course.)

Odin says stuff like “sometime in the past… or, strictly speaking, some time in the future…” and “Risen… uh, animals from my home.” Laslow, to Xander’s face, says, “Good luck finding me with a fake name and appearance.” He says that!!! I In their Supports!! To Xander’s Face!!!

(Xander: “wHAT”)

Like??? They’re not… good… about lying. They’re not absolutely terrible? But their cover-ups mostly seem to be changing the subject or going, “Uh, please ignore that.” These idiots. I love them.

Selena is probably the best about it? In her Support with Corrin, when asked if she’s from Hoshido, she says, “When did I say I was from Hoshido […] I never said I was from Nohr either” (or at least something like that.) She’ll admit she’s not from either kingdom but she doesn’t say anything other than that. So she’s dropped the least amount of hints, probably. (There are probably more examples for all three of them but I can’t think of Supports besides the Nohrian’s rn.)

But they arrived together and fight together and they talk like they’ve known each other for years sometimes, and if Laslow and Odin have something going on, she absolutely does as well, so. Come on.

The thing is the Nohrian Royals have to Suspect. They have to know the Trio is super hiding their past. They’re together all the time, and while Camilla/Leo/Xander may sometimes talk about their past, it has to get obvious over the years that the Trio doesn’t. At all. Niles actively tries to find shit out and can’t find anything, for goodness sake.

But the Royals are pretty respectful about it? They don’t hound the Trio about their past and seem to love and trust them as they are anyway? But that is something they have to ignore, and when the Trio says something that blatantly can’t be ignored like “Risen” or “I have a fake name and face” they have to ask. Both out of curiosity and obligation because they are technically the lawmakers of the land and they can’t ignore everything. Just be semi-decent at pretending and Leo/Xander/Camilla will too.

Reactions/Changing Dynamics

Even if Selena spills the beans immediately after Anankos’ death, I don’t think they sit down and say everything right then and there. Everyone is tired. Things need to be done. I guarantee after Laslow and Odin hear Selena accidentally said some of the truth, they look at each other and go, “Yeah, I guess it’s fine now” and then they don’t say anything more until they get back into the Deeprealm that night.

(Camilla+Leo+Xander is gonna get called the Royal Trio now because their names are too long.) The Royal Trio still trusts the Awakening Trio, obviously, but they have questions. And Anankos is defeated. Does that mean the war is over? Technically yes, technically no. Nothing is official yet. Lots of explaining to do. But the Awakening Trio has now obviously let loose this secret they were trying to keep secret and the danger is technically over and they always talked about leaving after the war is over, so—

So technically the Royals get a bit nervous. They hang around the A. Trio or request them to stay in their line of sight all afternoon, even when there’s other stuff to be doing, even when it’s easier to split up and clean up and take stock of things, and eventually the A. Trio does call them out on it (individually). They do their chores and after-battle prep and take care of the injured and the Royals listen to messengers and make plans on what to do now, what kind of treaties to make, and then when the evening comes, the A. Trio comes back just like they promised they would, looking antsy and tired and a little nervous and they all sit down in Corrin’s private quarters bc this is Top Secret stuff and Corrin has to listen anyway and then the A. Trio talks.

They don’t go too in-depth about Grima. Not yet.

But they talk about the Hidden Truths DLC and how human Anankos asked for their help. They talk about why they were disguised and why they couldn’t say anything about it and how they nearly went to Hoshido, only to find out they had to go to Nohr instead at the last moment and they only knew they were looking for a stolen child.

(The fact they nearly went to Hoshido instead of Nohr makes Xander frown and Leo scowl and Camilla cling to Selena bit more, even though Hoshido and Nohr are still kinda newly friends now.)

“So do you look like this permanently now?” Leo asked, curious. “You said the human Anankos changed your appearance. Will that ever wear off?”

Selena, Laslow, and Odin all shared a look. Eventually Odin shrugged.

“I’m not sure,” he said. “It hasn’t shown signs of waning yet. Dragon magic is quite strong. Even if we returned to our home world, who knows if our parents would even recognize us at first.”

The last part was a joke. Selena smacked him on the shoulder, and Odin winced.

“Don’t say that,” she scolded.

Odin glanced over to Laslow, looking sheepish. “Sorry.”

Laslow didn’t seem to notice.

“I suppose I have grown used to how I look,” Laslow mused. He absently touched his hair. “Though I look less like my mother than I once did…” He noticed Xander watching and flashed a smile. “Not that I mind very much anymore, milord. It’s all in the past now.”

Camilla brushed her fingertips against the end of Selena’s hair. “I’m afraid I can’t quite picture you as a blonde,” she said.

They don’t talk about Grima or their childhood or anything too personal at that meeting. It’s not relevant to the safety of anyone, after all. But later, when they’re alone and not so forced to talk, they might.

“She died early on, I guess,” Selena said, not looking at Camilla at all. Her face was turned towards the window, but she didn’t seem to notice anything outside. “When the war started really picking up. She’d be gone for weeks and weeks. She was the absolute best.”

Camilla could see it now. Selena, tiny, waiting by the door for her hero mother to come home, day in and day out. A hopeful thing that eventually grew resentful.

Or maybe it wasn’t like that at all. Maybe Selena got tired of waiting early on. Maybe she dragged her father around the house and stomped around the yard and pretended not to care when a Pegasus Knight failed to appear from over the hill.

“And then she didn’t come home,” Camilla guessed.

“And then she didn’t come home,” Selena echoed. “And I became the second-hand soldier in her place.”

Camilla pursed her lips. She wanted to scold Selena for talking about herself like that. But the mood was heavy and it was Camilla’s line of questioning that had brought them here in the first place, so she kept her opinions to herself. For now.

“She’d be proud of you,” Camilla said.

Selena looked at her, face hard. “You’re not my mother.”

“No, I’m not,” Camilla agreed. She’d never had a mother who would be proud of her, and she didn’t want to be Selena’s. “But I love you dearly anyway.”

Selena’s face softened. The far away look left her eyes.

I think the Royals and Retainers respect each other a lot already and after several years of war they’re pretty appreciative of one another, but also there’s a new understanding that comes with “Oh, this was your life before we met.” There’s also a tiny bit of fear too, probably; the A. Trio has told them several times, “Hey, don’t be surprised if we leave when the war is over.” But it’s one thing to know it and another to Know it and suddenly it’s not just a nebulous leaving but “oh, there’s a whole other world and family and friends waiting for you somewhere else” too. And how they’d probably never see one another again if they left.

“That first year was the worst,” Laslow said. “I talked about this with Odin once, and he agreed. We had never killed people before. It had never crossed our minds that we would have to.”

Xander nodded, digesting this. He couldn’t imagine a world where he’d never have to kill another human being for the safety of those he cared about. But, he supposed, if nearly all the humans were dead anyway, that wouldn’t be as much of a concern.

Laslow caught himself. He straightened and visibly brightened. Laslow wore false cheer like an ill-fitting skin.

“But enough about depressing topics,” he said. “Have you been to the tavern recently, my lord? Yesterday I saw the most beautiful—“

“Laslow,” Xander said sternly.

Laslow shut his mouth.

Xander thought carefully about what he wanted to say.

“Laslow,” Xander said again. “You do not have to pretend anymore. I know this much already. You’ve lived through three wars now, beginning from your birth. You do not have to hide the pain that causes you.” He placed a hand on Laslow’s shoulder, and Laslow looked up at him, eyes wide. “I am here if you ever wish to speak about what’s on your mind.”

There was a pause.

“It’s not a pretty story,” Laslow said quietly.

“Tell me anyway,” said Xander.

Laslow did.

And yes, eventually they even talk about the bridge incident. It probably goes a thousand different ways, but in this world it goes like—

(hey, some vague suicidal talk tw in this scene, so feel free to skip)

“Why would you do that?” Leo asked, equal parts surprised and angry, and unable to keep the emotion out of his voice. “Cutting the bridge down, dooming yourself—

“This was before I met you,” Odin reminded him gently, sounding much too serious and not at all himself. “It was. Different, then.”

“Not so different that you couldn’t think of another way to solve the situation than cutting down the bridge,” Leo said, voice terse. Why was he so upset? Over something that had happened—or rather, hadn’t even happened—years ago. Leo’s heart skipped as though he were afraid. He’d told Odin and Niles to be careful with their lives a thousand times before. “So willing to martyr yourself. Like you didn’t even want to—”

“My lord,” Niles cut in.

Leo’s mouth shut with a click. He had figured it out just as Niles had, though not soon enough.

“I thought I would do something good and my friends would be safe, and then I would be done,” Odin said, looking at the floor. “I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. And everyone else would be fine.”

That and a hundred other reasons, Leo guessed, but in the end they all seemed to come back to that one. To wanting to be finished with a dreadful world, even if doing so meant… disappearing.

Odin had been… what then? Fifteen?

“I am sorry,” Leo said, much more quietly, and he meant it. For a lot of things.

He was so grateful to have met Odin now. That they had both made it this far, across worlds of doubt. The thought blew Leo’s mind on some level, but he focused on the here and now.

Niles breathed in through his nose.

“I get it,” he said, looking right past Leo and to Odin.

Odin looked at him as if he were wondering if Niles really did get it.

Leo didn’t. Not really. He’d never been in a position or lived a life like that before. He wanted to try, though.

(Azura was nearly in the above scene but I cut her just for time’s sake. Let it be known she does think about Odin’s response when she asked if he was afraid of heights though.)

So they probably do Talk About Things and it’s Rough. But it’s good too, and the A. Trio is more open and comfortable with each other in public and also they connect with the Royal Trio (plus retainers) more personally now too that they can discuss things like this as well. Like. It’s not easy? They do have nightmares and trauma and there are some things the Nohrians can’t understand on the same level Selena/Laslow/Odin can understand with each other but they do try hard to be there and available to talk. And in a way, like Laslow says, it does feel like a different lifetime some days.

Okay, so I feel like I’ve talked for 8,000 years and I don’t want to make you wait on a response, but I also feel like I’ve only been super general here, so. If there is anything you wanna expand on or focus on/question a bit more, definitely feel free to follow up! I have an exam tomorrow but this is probably all I’m gonna think about all day, tbh. (anon, u ask the Best questions)

#my text #asks #fe14 #long post #character death mention #i woke up to this and was thinking about it all day #i'll probably reblog again later bc it's so long

25 notes · View notes