#its agony

[ranchhands]

hold up, you're telling me you can't give afac sims top surgery scars?? u know, top surgery, as in A DOUBLE MASECTOMY?? 😭 HELLO??

#for context I like to make slightly feminine transmasc sims #and if u give an assigned male sim the feminine frame it looks gross and lumpy and just. eugh #so i have to make female sims with masc/custom pronouns #BUT I JUST WANN GIVE MY BOYS TOP SURGERY SCARS AND FACIAL HAIR AND AUUUGHHH #ITS AGONY #the sims #sims #sims 4 #ea #trans #transmasc #ftm #fuck u ea

[yosh-iro]

get fucked dipshit (affectionate) :)

#that took me 2.5 hours lmao #my pinky is nothing but mush rn #i still havent finished P ranking act 1 tho since i keep messing up on 3-1 which sucks #i either die #or i get a good score but im a few seconds too slow #or im fast enough but im like 100 points short of S #its agony #i actually got a time of 1:09.something but i had an A for my score :( #on 6-2 i mean not 3-1 #ultrakill #yoshi talk

[lycanthrology]

ohh my supervisor at the project used to be a hr manager he’s ripping the shit out of my new job he’s telling me all the ways my rights are being infringed😭

#the face he made when i told him i had no contract MATE I KNOW…….. #its agony

[chipped-chimera]

💀

I kind of really, really fucking hate I'm lonely again. Post relationship-of-10-years-blowup from my deeplore I've gone two solid years of just not wanting any of that shit and I could focus on healing. I was content. Because of my fucked energy capacity and autism I get tired by irl social interaction so quickly so it was fine anyways. I don't have a super high social need most of the time and usually chatting with people online is enough.

But after realising more things about myself in terms of sexuality, in really realising maybe it was women all along I might have been interested in (idk still not 100% on it - I really worry about the difference between sexual attraction in my head vs irl and that if I get there it's gonna be 'Well shit guess I'm still grey ace' which I'd hate actually. I wanna have fun too!) It's twisting in my body like a knife. And I don't want it. It was in a way, easier to feel dead to it. Easier to not have a hope in hell - I know parts of it is trauma but it's just been the way I protect myself, I don't 'get my hopes up' about anything anymore. I don't plan anything beyond 6 months because I feel like every time I do get my hopes up about anything some malevolent force in life is going to come along and violently throw me back down. And I'm scared of that. I am really, really fucking scared that the next time? Maybe the next time I won't be able to handle it anymore. I don't want to feel like a soldier in endless combat with my own life. Every battle 'victory' feels phyrric and I don't know if I'll win the war anymore.

But there's always a tiny, quiet hope in there. And that's what is turning into the knife that cuts through me when I consider reality. I know I am not an attractive partner, physically maybe I'm okay. But who I am as a person? I have too many 'dealbreakers'. I am a ruined human being in the eyes of the social status quo. I'd probably be seen as too 'dependent', too 'lazy', too much. And not enough at the same time. And it fills me with a visceral kind of rage that none of this is my fault. Everything that has broken in me, was done to me, gladly by others around me.

I don't want the hope. I don't want the lonliness. I was happier feeling nothing.

I don't want to be hurt again. I just want to be loved.

#ventpost #ableism #trauma #I'm trying hard to heal and stay positive #Im trying so fucking hard #but the only way I can stay positive is if i cut myself off from things on purpose #because when I feel them again? when I feel hope? #its agony #fucking absolute agony

[calcium-makes-ur-bones-strong]

Sometimes I think about that *one* fic I write when I was ten on my mum's laptop and I want to shoot myself in the face

#its agony #Oh oh the cringe #It's painful #phphysically

[micamone]

accidentally filled my queue up for 4 days again with old posts;;;

#DONT LOOK AT ME;;; #im going thru. all 81k+ of my likes. #its agony #my posts #im only a couple 100 pages in (im going backwards)

[narrators-journal]

Will I ever stop lamenting the lack of ryomina content? Who knows, maybe when I'm not feeling like I'm the only one drawing art and writing fics for em 🥲

#its agony #i always do this to myself #i always go for rarepairs or rare characters #im sufferrinnnggg #ryomina #ryoji x minato

[mango-shpango]

get me away from these freshman AGHHHHHHHHH

#its agony #no hate to the freshman thag follow me

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Vegetta isn’t even ONLINE yet c!Rubius shouted for him when he was in danger because Vegetta is always ready to help & protect him, I weep

#i talk #Karmaland talk #He also frickin called Luzu Vegetta and Luzu sounded so frickin unimpressed #love that my entire dash is losing their minds over Dream meanwhile I'm in Karmaland hell #ITS AGONY #RUBEGETTA MY BELOVED....

[soulnottainted]

Me just waiting for people to post stuff about my husband and ghouls playing at Hellfest rn

#its agony

[s0urte3th]

ough

#wishing #i feel. terrible #i do #i wanna rot in hell and hide myself away so that i can never hurt you again #im tired of being stupid #im tired of doing things without thinking #im tired of causing harm #this is the exavt opposite of what i wanted #of what you needed #i feel like its my destiny to forever fumble and fuck up and make the people i love suffer in agony due to my own choices #justvput a dunce cap on me and call it a day #superglue it on and keep it on for forever #wish i could chop off my arms so id stop typing stuoid shit. so id actually think before i do things #before i hurt people #endlessly destined to get more and more tired of myself #tired of the same mistakes #tired of hurting the people i love #just a blumbering idiot at this point and im really sorry #im really sorry i hurt you and that i keeo hurting you and #its agony #i know that me existing and my stupidity cause the both of us agony #its why i joke about everyone in my head hating me #because my stupid actions make life so much fucking harder for everyone #they don’t understand why i do these things either. doctors hate me #im a medical mysteryyyy haahahaaa

[lotuslate]

oh, your love is sunlight!

#mdzs #mdzs fanart #wangxian #mo dao zu shi #lan wangji #wei wuxian #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #hanguang jun #lan zhan #wei ying #jessbye #egg #another illustration brought to you directly from my beloved wangxian playlist 🫶🏻 this time fr hozier’s sunlight! #im scared that its not too obvious but i hope u noticed wy curled up on the statue’s lap #the sun rays showing through the cracks falling directly on him :’) #made sure the biggest crack is in lwj’s heart region… ahaha… #anyways pls listen to the song and then look at this PLS UNDERSTAND the agony i went through while drawing this ksdabjksd

[ruporas]

the song of humanity will continue to be sung

#vash the stampede #trigun #trigun stampede #he means so much to me he means sooooo much i love him so much asfuahghdsgnkdsgk #VASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i posted it on twit but i was REALLY dreading ep 11 bc i figured that vash might cry #but instead he screamt into agony in which i cant even rewatch the episode #bc the va did such a good fucking job in conveying that terror and grief and guilt and it fucks me up so bad #vash makes me sad in EVERY adaption but stampede is like #we've only seen him be kind. he's just nice. he's serious and he's nice and he's kind. he treats everyone with so much delicateness and care #and the only time he raises his voice is for the protection of others and warning them #and now he's rung the wranger and i now have a hammer to knives' side #not even trying to be dramatic its just been awhile since a character has mattered to me in this kind of way #ruporas art

[egg-baby-official]

they’re girlfrienboyfrien....

#ive recovered emotionally enough to make art #dont get me wrong im still in agony though #anyways hunter is the girlfriend willow is the boyfriend hope thats clear #my art #toh #toh spoilers #the owl house #the owl house spoilers #willow park #hunter toh #huntlow #i NEED to draw titan luz next its crucial to my survival

[lumieberries]

writing is so fun till you gotta describe wtf is going on i like writing dialogue, but i hate describing whats going on

#rambles #its agony

[malk-with-tea]

@queruloustea's fanfic that makes two of us, then recently hit 100k words and I had to make a piece for such an occasion :) also chapter 26 is SO good and it makes me SCREAM

either way, please read the fic if you haven't- it's the best :}

(text-less version of this piece under the cut)

I love them

#not beating the gay bug enjoyer allegations #gahhhbfdhf this fanfic.................... its everything to me #again- please read it if you havent #art #digital art #hk #hollow knight #the hollow knight #hk quirrel #quirrelhollow #hk hollow #banging my fists against the wall #screaming. writhing in agony (positive)