#it's like putting lipstick on a pig

[impishtubist]

I hate clothes shopping and never do it because my body is disgusting. I’m literally still wearing stuff from high school and college because the idea of buying new things for my gross body horrifies me 😂 But then I went out this weekend in a fit of delusion and bought three new outfits, and you know what? Yeah, 24 hours later, I realize they’re absolutely vile on me. 

#this is why i never go shopping ever #or wear makeup #it's like putting lipstick on a pig #how do you make imp even more ugly? #put makeup and jewelry on them lmao #anyway the fact that i'm stuck with this gross meat sack for the rest of my life is so fucking depressing #and now i just wasted money on it #why!!! #i should have learned my lesson years ago

[shodansbabygirl]

#im tired of seeing this in my notifications. car girl upon ye.

[distressedoverajinx]

Have we considered putting lipstick on a pig in a different way? I think the pig would look better if instead of putting lipstick on his lips we put the lipstick on ourselves and kiss the pig until he feels loved.

Being a pig isn't bad.

Embrace the pig.

#personal #its like putting lipstick on a pig #body image #transgender

[llamagoddessofficial]

Any ideas on the Bad Boys reactions to MC dressing up for a date?

Horror isn't one for dressing up. He feels like putting nice clothes on him is like putting lipstick on a pig. But... he likes when you dress up. He really really likes it; he hovers near you, breathing heavily and intently staring at every detail. You're eye candy to him, and when you dress up you look even more sweet, colours and smells that make him the good kind of dizzy. He could stare for hours. He does stare for hours. He's fighting the urge to bite you - he's also fighting the urge to attack anyone who looks at you too long. This is HIS pretty little human, anyone who gawks is losing their eyes.

Dust is normally such a tough nut to crack reaction-wise. It's always hard to tell what he thinks of things. His reactions are entirely internal, as minute as minute can get; unless you're like Nightmare and can literally read his emotions, it's very hard to know what's going on in his head. That being said. When he sees that you dressed up for a date with him? He blushes very hard. He looks away, flustered, pulling his hood down over his face - for a moment there's a break in the seemingly endless clouds of his mood, and the sky is visible.

Although he acts like he's embarrassed, he really likes when you tease him about blushing. He doesn't always enjoy being so blank, so hard to read it drives away people he deeply cares for. It makes him feel better when you get little victories like that, moments where you 'broke' him; little reminders of how much he really loves you.

Killer, as mentioned in a previous ask, would delight in a partner who dresses up. He has a lot of fun putting together fashionable (slutty) outfits, and if you have something very nice for a date, he's absolutely going to coordinate with you. It's the perfect way to tell the world that you're together. Who needs bite marks? Give him a colour palette, some simple accessories, and half an hour. Everyone will see who you belong to.

Nightmare would love it. He might not say it aloud, but you'll see it in the way his eyelight rakes up and down your body and his voice gets significantly silkier. He sees you dressing up for a date as a high compliment; you thought about your date with him so much you decided to put in that extra effort. He doesn't get many gifts - all this is for him? You shouldn't have...

You'd expect him to want his partner to dress similarly to him. Though he does take great pleasure in you matching his refined tastes, he also just likes seeing you wear things that make you happy. Of course his beloved consort should wear whatever they please. You're his, and that makes you royalty. Royalty do what they like.

#llamagines #killer's the type of guy to be in the middle of being tortured (he was captured) #and then whoever's got him gets blood on his shirt #he gets so pissed off he immediately breaks free and kills them #because thats the shirt he was going to wear on a date with you!!! and now its ruined. GREAT #now he has to coordinate a whole new fit #thanks asshole

[corruptedcaps]

You’ll Do

Amy’s boss Mia was as cruel as she was beautiful & made Amy nervous whenever she was around. Despite this somehow Amy found the courage to interview as her replacement. For some reason Mia was leaving the company & hiring her own successor. Needless to say the interview went awful.

Adding insult to injury, Amy had to ride the elevator with Mia directly after the interview and Mia didn’t hold back on her comments.

“You see Amy you lack what I need in a successor, you don’t have the killer attitude needed to succeed. On top of that you have a terrible dress sense and are a 5 at best. Yes I could ‘improve’ you but why put lipstick on a pig when I could pick someone who needs little work at all.” Mia said with a sharpness to every word that plunged Amy into a deeper depression than she already was.

“That’s why I’m giving the job to Kali, she’s so perfect for the role I didn’t even interview her. Im going to meet her right now and by tomorrow she’ll be your new boss, although I’m sure she’ll remind you of me.” Mia continued with a knowingly smile.

Amy knew Kali and was dreading her promotion. She was no where near as bad as Mia but she was certainly only a few steps away. Knowing she would be taking over made Amy want to call in sick for the rest of the year.

However just as they were nearing their floor the elevator suddenly shunted to a halt, stopping dead. Amy just stood there, knowing she couldn’t do anything while Mia rolled her eyes.

“I’ll have the maintenance team hung for this.” Mia snarled as she took out her phone and contacted the elevator technician.

“2 hours? No this is unacceptable! I need to get to my meeting! I’ve already waited too long!” Mia screamed down the phone.

Amy had never seen Mia so agitated, she figured Mia had some sort of fear of tight spaces. Amy let herself have a brief smile knowing that Mia was human like the rest of them.

However as an hour passed without much progress, Amy started to get worried about Mia. She was sweating and pacing like crazy and even seemed to be twitching now and again.

“M-Mia it’s alright, we’ll be out of here soon. Just breathe.” Amy said calmly to her boss.

“Oh shut up you twit, this is beyond your understanding, this body is expiring and I need a new one!” Mia snapped back. She looked at her watch and fear etched her face.

“Oh fucking screw it, you’ll do.” Mia said and surely lunged at Amy who was too quick to react. Mia grabbed Amy’s face in her hands and planted her lips on her lowly employee’s.

Amy’s eyes went wide as she felt something slither from Mia’s mouth to her own and down her throat. Mia’s body went limp and collapsed to the ground. As it hit the ground it immediately turned to dust, leaving Amy to wonder what the hell just happened.

“Ugh I can’t believe I had to take your pathetic body.” Said a voice that sounded like it was coming from inside Amy’s head. It was a deep ethereal voice that sent shivers down her spine.

“W-who said that?” Amy nervously asked.

“Not that it matters but I have gone by many names. Abyzou, Hecate, Morrigan, and most recently, as you can see, Mia but you can call me Lilith, all others will call us Aimee, once I improve you of course.” The voice said with a cackle.

Before Amy could ask a follow up question, she doubled over in pain. Putting her hands on the glass mirrors of the elevator to steady herself, she watched as her nails grew long and sharp, like wicked talons.

Radiating down from there her pale skin turned sun kissed, as if she never spent a day in the office. The tan ran up her arms, making them tingle in pleasure in the process. Her body began to change as the tan ran down her figure. Every inch that it touched she felt a warm sensation that came also with a tightening of skin or modification of fat. Her boobs for instance once a meagre B cup ballooned out into an impressive pair of double d’s.

“Mmmm yesss this never gets old. This feels so fucking good doesn’t it Amy?” Lilith purred in Amy’s head. Amy wanted to plead with her to stop whatever magic she was doing but to her shame she found her pussy getting increasingly wet. It helped that it too changed, becoming tighter and more sensitive.

Staring at her shifting face, she watched as her lips grew into a bitchy pout, her hair became incredibly sleek and straight, and smoky makeup appeared on her eyes. It was now a face that commanded authority, a stern but sexy facade that would have others eating out of the palm of her hand either out of fear or of lust.

“I was going to take Kali’s body but now I’m glad I took yours. It’s been decades since I transformed Mia from the worthless house wife she was into a bitchy and powerful CEO, I forgot how much pleasure it gives me to turn a goodie goodie nobody into a wicked whore. Kali was too like me already but now I can’t wait to make that split bow down and lick our pussy.” Lilith said but this time the voice was starting to change. It was starting to sound eerily like Amy’s.

Amy for her part was feeling increasingly calm about the apparent devouring of her soul and merge with Lilith. As the seconds ticked by her mind was filled with wicked memories of Lilith through the centuries. She had been a witch, a queen, a faux goddess, a homewrecker, a trophy wife, a queenpin, and everything in between. The one constant was she was always in charge. For Amy, as someone who always took a backseat the idea of being on top scratched an itch she never knew she had.

“Oh god! Yessss! Kali will be our little simping slut! Change us more! Make us a hawt fucking bitch! Merge us into one!” Amy moaned loudly as she felt her new bigger tits with her perfectly manicured hands as the magic worked its way to her ass flairing it out. Her stomach crunched as it became slimmer and body toned all over to give her a delightfully flexible and athletic body.

Finally her demure gray work clothes became darker, tighter, and more revealing as they clung to her new body. Her pants hugged her legs as they became intimating leather and 6 inch heels sprang out of her flats lifting her to new heights. As the changes reached their apex, her eyes rolled back into her head as the two minds merged into one new evil persona.

“Mmmm much better. It was about time there was for a change in management.” Amy smirked to herself. As if on cue the elevator shunted to life again and finished its descent to the bottom. Amy picked up Mia’s left over purse and phone beside the pile of dust and took out lipstick from the bag.

Amy just finished applying a shade when the door dinger open and two sweaty maintenance workers stood there. Amy enjoyed their lingering looks at her ass as she capped the lipstick and put it back into her bag. She brushed past their stunned looks.

“Sorry miss but where is the CEO? She called us in a panic.” One blurted out. Stopping in her tracks Amy turned her head back to them.

“That’s me. I’m Aimee, the CEO of this company and if you so if you don’t want to lose your job I suggest you clean up that pile of first that’s in there immediately.” Aimee snarled back at them. The two men quickly jumped to attention.

Aimee however had already forgotten about them, she had her sights on a gorgeous woman sitting in the lobby looking anxiously around. Approaching Kali with all the menace of a predatory lioness, Aimee snuck up on her new lowly employee.

“Kali, what time do you call this?” Aimee said angrily. Kali looked up at was stunned to see who the voice belonged to.

“Amy? You look… wow. I’m waiting for Mia, she wanted to discuss something with me.” Kali said somewhat flabbergasted.

“Mia is no longer your concern. She has put me in charge and my first order of business is to hire you as my assistant. Follow me.” Aimee said strutting off back to the elevator where the men were finishing up. Aimee stood at the elevator door and beckoned Kali in.

“I- I don’t understand, I thought I was getting a promotion or something.” Kali said but Aimee just stared at her without saying a word. Kali felt the new bitch’s eyes burrow deep into her soul and she felt compelled to get into the elevator.

Aimee pressed the button for the executive suite and the doors shut sealing them in. Only once they were alone did Aimee finally speak again.

“This is a promotion, you get to taste the pussy of a goddess from now on. You’re going to be the executive simp. So kneel down like a good little slut.” Aimee said as she towered over Kali.

#female possession #f2f #corruption #bitchification #evil bitch #power transfer #corrupted merge

[smolvenger]

First Lady (President Loki x fem! Reader blurb)

Summary: It's not easy being in the spotlight as First Lady of the Nation. But your President's Husband knows what to do when your online critics take it too far.

Or "Who did this to you?" with President Loki.

Word Count: 1318 (blurb time)

Warnings: SMUT! 18 + (wall diddling, whee), online bullying and harassment (inspired from my own personal experience, whee) mention of sex. Angst and then fluff and hurt/comfort. I steal ideas from Ana Huang and Sadie Kincaid. Bad grammar. I had writer's block with this one and was stuck so not as revised and polished as I could be bc I just wanted this done, I'm not Shakespeare or Donna Tartt okay? If I miss a warning, please inform me at once. Don't victim blame those affected, Report it! If you see something disturbing or triggering that isn't tagged that I missed, then that is on me to take accountability for it and it is your responsibility to report it!

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter @mischief2sarawr

Dick-Tionary: The exact, more explicit smut begins at “Open wide, my dear.” and ends at "He gently let you down."

Something about the internet gave people anonymity and with that came power. They could say and do what they wanted…even the vilest things.

Comment after comment. Ding after ding on your phone. There were posts about how you were wrong. Irresponsible because they didn’t like your cause of supporting raising minimum wages. Even under posts where you were talking about the importance of your cause, so many people went “Well, to be fair-” 

You couldn’t help but look at more about you.

Stupid. 

Ugly. 

A pig.

And those were the tamer ones. 

The constant bullying and demands from these people. You thought you were qualified for this. That you knew your way around tenfold. Dolled up in your nice dress and makeup…and here you were, crying. Wanting to throw a fit. Wanting to scream and call them vile, horrible things. T sob until you couldn’t breathe and crash down, heels, pearls, lipstick and all.  No better than a little girl playing dress up. Not an adult who handled everything with strength and grace. Not a First Lady of an entire country.

You should be strong. Thick-skinned. “Don’t take it personally” was the advice everyone gave you. Every single time. Without fail. But at this point, it just numbed in your head. What did that even mean? It meant nothing. Like “thoughts and prayers” maybe at once it could help, and has helped but now…it was just a phrase people threw out that fixed nothing.  And how could you not take a comment beneath your post telling you to not take it personally?

You found yourself stumbling onto the Oval Office adn there he was- your husband in folden horns. A crowd of suited men around him.

He noticed your state. You had no time to compose yourself. But he raised a hand and their chatting voices silenced.

“Everyone! Leave- now!” he ordered, snapping his fingers.

They ducked and left. A few careful eyes at your frazzled, pensive state.

He went over and looked at you. Then he put one hand and put it under your cheek so you faced him. His voice was soft, yet subtly angry not at you, but at your tormenters. 

“My darling…who did this to you?”

You sniffed. Then you answered him.

“All of the comments…online…I know I have to. It’s part of the platform. A First Lady has to have social media…but…but…”

He wiped a tear. Then you leaned onto him. His cold buttons grazed your cheek and he let you cling to him. Let yourself break down.

“What am I even doing? Why should I say or do anything online? They just want to tear you apart and spit you out! And they just want a lady who looks pretty and does or says nothing. Even when I wear anything, they tell me I look like cat vomit. I can’t win whatever I do, Loki. And the split second I try to do anything, say anything they…they..”

“Give me your phone,” he said.

You handed it to him. From his pocket, he took out a chip and attached it to yours.

“Firstly,  I’m taking this away from you for now. You will get a new one for communication. I will not have my wife and First Lady miserable.”

 He set the chip in.

“What are you doing?”

“Keeping track of them. We’re going to track them down. They’re going to regret every word of it…here…”

He sat down on the chair in the center and tapped his lap.

“Sit.”

How could you resist?

He set you on his lap. He pulled out his personal phone and immediately was making calls. You leaned into him, snuggling him close. 

“Yes, Grant, I want you to hire a Social Media manager for the First Lady. Have the comments filtered and in need of approval before posted. Also, look for security. There are several people we must hunt down. They have threatened the security of the first lady. The tracker is on her phone, we’ll analyze the data on the comments and find each and every one of them- they cannot go on without consequence, don’t you think? Freedom of Speech is overrated anyway…hurry along, do it now- no- Grant, I don’t care if you’re about to get a blowjob from the Black Widow this second, I want you to do it!”

He ended the call.

He held you. And then kissed you. You leaned in more. How handsome he looked- his suit fixed up. His smirk was confident, rakish. You found you were straddling him, his hands on your hips. As you kissed again, he pushed his tongue inside.

“Oh…Loki…”

He raised your skirt some, to feel your bare leg.

“I feel if I make you cum, that would make you feel better…wouldn’t it?”

He slid a hand and saw you weren’t wearing underwear at your hip bone. 

He tilted his head, his voice even quieter. 

“And you followed my one little rule, too. Good girl.”

He held up the phone one last time, pressing a call.

“Barton, cancel my meeting for this hour. Reschedule it. Emergency, shall we say.”

Before the man on the other end could ask why he hung it up.

He smiled at you.

“Open wide, my dear.”

Keeping your legs open, he adjusted them to wrap around him. He backed you up to part of the wall. Not caring about the curtains of the window. Not caring about the security cameras.

 In fact, let them watch if they want.

He kissed you intensely, his tongue inside and out. Tasting you. He lifted your skirt to your hips, backing you up. You hung onto him, shaking with wet, desperate need as he undid the zipper of his trousers.

“I’m going to fuck you. Fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk and live the next week curled up in the lap of luxury, how does that sound?” he asked, his voice husky.

“Please- fuck me, Loki-”

“I’m the President-” he corrected.

“Fuck me, Mr. President-” you quietly begged.

He entered briskly. You let out a loud gasp. But you were already so soaked from him, it was clear. He kissed you again. One hand going to move one of your legs to hook around his waist. 

He only slowed down so he could speak, his eyes intense. 

“Yes, moan louder. I want them all to hear- I don’t care who hears- or sees. I want them-to- to know you’re mine- My little doll. My little toy. My First Lady- my wife-”

Your breasts bounced lewdly as he picked up speed, thrusting in and out of you. He pounded you so much, the portraits shook. You held onto his shoulders, and then his horns on his head. He was grunting like a madman.

He fucked hard, his hand digging.

“I want you to cry out, say what I am as you cum. I am Loki, I am your president, I rule you- say it- say it, fuck, I’m cumming-I’m going to-say it.”

You cried his title, your throat scratchy. Pleasure breaking on you, as well as on him.

He gently let you down. You adjusted his dark curls. He smoothed your dress, though your legs wobbled. The bliss of ecstasy makes you forget what even happened just an hour ago.

“Now…how do you feel now?” he asked.

You took in a deep breath, the blood still rushing and the world spinning.

“Better…” you replied. 

He wrapped an arm around your waist. But he traced a finger down your spine, into your skirt.

“Good. Because I’m going to order some…gifts for you tonight. For you to wear beneath these dresses and skirts and blouses. And I want us to have dinner- just us. And when I rip off your clothes, that lace will be on you. Because, my dear, once this next meeting is done…we are far from over with this.”

#president loki #president loki smut #president loki x reader #president loki x y/n #president loki x fem! reader #president loki x fem! y/n #loki series #smut #loki my beloved #carrie writes #angst with a happy ending #fanfiction #loki #president loki imagine #loki fic #loki blurb #loki fanfiction #carrie's birthday blurbs

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Them finding you asleep in public

characters: Fu Xuan / Herta / Himeko / Kafka / March 7th / Natasha / Pela / Qingque / Serval / Tingyun x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: none

a/n: The urge to write a lot more than 1 or 2 paragraphs for some characters was really strong, but I managed it because I am a man of dedication, focus and sheer will… 

that and because I knew this would take far too long if I didn’t contain myself.

Also, there are some characters I still don’t know too much about, so if I got something wrong about their personalities, then I’m sorry

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Fu Xuan

Did you have no idea how stupid you looked while sleeping like this in public? If anyone else found you like this, they’d take you for a lazy bum with no shame, but luckily for you, Fu Xuan knew you well enough to know that at least the first part would be a misconception. Nevertheless you looked stupid. Stupid and a little bit cute. So stupid and a little bit cute in fact that she couldn’t stop herself from pulling out her phone and snapping a picture of you, only for the flash she forgot to turn off to wake you up, causing you to slowly look up at her while rubbing your eyes, in turn causing the Master Diviners face to heat up.

“D-Don’t fall asleep during working hours! …what am I going to do with you..?”

Herta

Sleeping people normally were none of Herta’s concern, they were neither interesting to study, nor entertaining enough to waste her precious time on them. But considering how much of a help you were with her research, it would have been rude not to spare you from the embarrassment of being seen like this by a whole lot of other people. It also helped that she was just about to start an experiment and needed a suitable guinea pig helper.

“Wakey-Wakey. How terrible to be bored enough to fall asleep even though you’re living on my space station. Lucky you! I have just the job for you”

Himeko

Himeko was a researcher first and foremost and one of the most important tasks of any respectable researcher was to observe. It was the first step towards putting together a scientific theory and thus something she was all too familiar with. So whenever she found you sound asleep on one of the astral express’ couches, she did what she did best: observe. Was it with a cup of coffee in hand or some random book she got her hands on.For whatever reason watching you sleep put her mind at ease, like watching one of those cat videos March liked to show around to the rest of the crew. To varying degrees of excitement.

“Theory: the couch is even more comfortable when tired”, Himeko stated to herself before pressing her hand against the couch, feeling it before letting out a small yawn, covering her mouth with her free hand before nodding to herself. “Theory seems possible. I’ll need to test it more often”, she spoke while slowly putting her head on the cushions, tiredness, no matter how much coffee she drank, rolling over Himeko, only for her to quickly nod off herself, her head not far from your own.

Kafka

Truth be told, Kafka would have preferred you were awake. There weren’t many things one could do with a sleeping person, but as waking you up was out of the question, other ideas quickly began swirling through her mind, until finally, her brain decided on one.

Putting on one of her favorite lipsticks, she gave you a quick peck on the cheek, making sure to leave an imprint of her lips, only to find herself unsatisfied with the results. If you were lucky you’d notice it once you went to the bathroom in the morning, by which time you would have already passed the rest of your crewmates, and while she doubted that they’d have any reaction to it, one imprint would have certainly been enough to make you embarrassed about it.

That being said, adding one or two more couldn’t hurt.

March 7th

Seeing you sleeping in such a public place like the parlor of the astral express wasn’t something March got to see every day and while the urge to take a picture of you with her camera was compelling, she knew that there had to be made preparations beforehand. Before long, March pulled out a marker before carefully drawing a silly mustache and monocle on your face, making sure not to wake you up in the process. You were probably going to figure out the culprit relatively quickly once you looked in the mirror, but as long as she got a silly photo, March didn’t really care.

And a silly photo she got.

Natasha

You were always trying your best to keep whatever child was currently bedbound inside her clinic entertained, never leaving their side until they had long fallen asleep. And while Natasha appreciated it, the sight of you and the children causing her heart to melt each time, you fell asleep while leaned against the bed more than once.

In such moments Natasha would have loved to carry you to bed, the floor being a lot colder than a blanket, but that would only wake you from your dreams, something she didn’t want to be responsible for after seeing you take such good care of others. And so all she was able to do was cover you with a blanket of your own before making a mental note to repay you the following day

Pela

While you always indulged Pela in her hobbies, her requests of painting a picture of you always fell on deaf ears, you always finding a reason or excuse for her not to, too embarrassed by the idea of being painted. So finding you asleep like this was like a godsent. Locking the room to make sure you didn’t slip away before she got her notebook and pens from her room, Pela made sure to return quickly before beginning while you were still asleep.

After all, what you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you.

Qingque

While she had been sent to find you by Fu Xuan herself, you having reportedly been sent to get something from the abandoned storage, only to not return, her boss ought to have thought twice before picking Qingque for the task of retrieving you. So when she eventually found you, having nodded off on an old couch in one of the corners of the building, the prolific slacker couldn’t help but notice how comfortable it looked. And while many would have felt ashamed for even thinking about sitting down next to you and closing their eyes for five minutes while on work, Qingque had no such inhibitions.

It didn’t sound like Fu Xuan needed you that urgently, so it wasn’t like she was going to get fired for this… probably.

Serval

When Serval found you slumped over one of the desks in her workshop, passed out from what seemed to be exhaustion as the mechanism you had tried solving these past couple of days lay next to you, not much closer to completion than it seemed yesterday, she couldn’t help but smile at your dedication to the craft, or so was the reason she would have given if she wasn’t having difficulties retaining her composure at the sight of your sleeping face

A part of her wanted to squeeze you till you popped, or at the very least displayed signs of doing so, finding what she saw in front of her as adorable as a puppy, yet she decided against as much as touching you. Neither wishing to wake you up nor to accidentally breaking one of your bones. She needed you in her audience after all.

Tingyun

If you had been Ying Juan, Tingyun’s next course of action would have been as clear as the sky on a sunny day. Snap a few pictures to sell to all kinds of Fangirls and make a quick buck. But considering you weren’t anywhere as popular and she had her qualms about the idea of anyone else getting to see you sleeping this peacefully, her conscience beat out the businesswoman inside of her.

That being said, just because she wasn’t going to let anyone else see you like this, didn’t mean she was going to let this opportunity for a nice photo slip, pulling out her phone as taking a picture in one swoop before putting it back and once again walking out of the room, making sure to close the door behind her.

#fu xuan #fu xuan x reader #herta hsr #herta x reader #himeko x reader #hsr himeko x reader #hsr himeko #himeko #hsr kafka #kafka x reader #march 7th #march 7th x reader #hsr natasha #natasha x reader #hsr pela #pela x reader #qingque #qingque x reader #serval #serval x reader #tingyun #tingyun x reader

[gabessquishytum]

I keep seeing all these ideas where Dream is famous and I wanna take it a step farther. With Dream being rockstar famous, and known for his wild temper and deeply chaotic life, he gets approached by a large Hollywood studio to star in a new reality television show. It would be him, his new manager and husband Hob, their teenage sons and a revolving door of friends, neighbors and family. They'll move him out of his posh Soho flat and into a luxury mansion in Beverly Hills. All he needs to do is sign on the dotted line.

Dream obviously thinks it's stupid. After all, he's a pretty private guy and a right asshole at times and he doesn't think he'll make good television. But Hob disagrees. It's been forever since Dream's name was last in the papers and fans are clambering for new content. Besides, they can play up their personalities for the camera and Hob wouldn't just let them run amok in their private life.

So he agrees a bit unwillingly. That is until he finds out how fun it is to lie directly to the camera, make Desire's life hell when they guest star, and ruin production by showing them how satisfied his husband is in every room of the house.

- 🤜 anon

I love the idea of an Endless reality TV show SO MUCH!!! Can you imagine the chaos?! It'd be so brilliant.

Robyn and Orpheus are in their late teens, so old enough to enjoy occasionally popping up in an episode or two - but when filming starts they get to find out exactly how protective their dad (Hob) is over their privacy. Hob has written strict boundaries into the contract with the production company so the cameras literally can't go into certain parts of the mansion, and certainly can't film the boys without at least one guardian being present. Hob would happily take the company to court and sue if they cross any lines. The same rules apply for Delirium, who is also still quite young and occasionally likes to show up in an episode.

Meanwhile Dream is basically just having a great time doing increasingly weird things. He takes baths in oat milk, claiming that its been part of his routine for years. He puts a really terrible fake tattoo on his upper thigh and walks around showing it off like it's real. He does "vocal exercises" with Orpheus as part of his "art" and Orpheus spends the whole time trying not crack up while Dream makes these awful noises.

And of course, who would forget -

Hob, holding a tiny pig: Dream Endless, come to the foyer... I have a little gift for you

Dream: oh my god is that a chicken?!

Plus the amount of times the camera has caught Hob looking thoroughly wrecked... in the kitchen covered in hickies, with his pants down in the pool area, black lipstick smeared all over his face in the bathroom... so many bits of footage have had to be cut because Dream will just drop to his knees wherever and start trying to suck Hob’s dick. He's famous, he can do what he wants!

The show is, of course, a hit. Much to Desire's chagrin. Although they are secretly hoping to get a spinoff show out of this - hopefully one where they get to slap the smug smile off Dream’s annoying face...

#🤜 anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft

[rrcenic]

if they had tumblr on the lotf island simulator bc silly :))

🐚 thechief Follow

God I love him so much. Every time we kiss I feel so alive.

🔥 csharpmf Follow

cringe

🐚 thechief Follow

…this is literally about us

🔥 csharpmf Follow

OOOH FUCK I DIDNT READ THE USERNAME

#SORRY BABE OMFG #PLS FORGIVE ME WE CAN HAVE A PARTY W MY HUNTERS ON THE BEAJCH

(9 notes)

🦎 helloitssimon Follow

found a ton of these beautiful leaves and made a flower crown!!

🦎helloitssimon Follow

so. piggy has informed me that the rash on my arms and head is due to the posion ivy ive been wearing for a week.

#everything itches :,(

(23 notes)

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

Greetings and salutations! This is my first official Tumblr post. My name is Peter. I use primarily he/him pronouns but do not mind they/them.

If you’re a supporter of J*ck or The H*nters DNI!!! I am a Ralph supporter!!! You choir boys make me sick!!!

I have asthma and I am gay. If you insult me, or call me fat, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

If you are anti-Ralph, I’m not afraid to call you out as the CONCHPHOBE you are!

Lastly: DO NOT CALL ME PIGGY. IT IS NOT MY NAME

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

lmaoooo kys piggy

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

#I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW #YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF #tw h*nters #tw conchphobia #tw j*cks tribe

(341 notes)

👬 sam-and-eric-the-twins-alt-account Follow

#we’re personally more ralph-leaning #but not picky

(15,326 notes)

🔳 mulberry-boy-deactivated

t hebeasty i know it’s there i lnow the hel p help theyre is a beastie pleas

😭 PercivalWemdeysMadison Follow

hey op are you ok

😭 PercivalWemdeysMadison Follow

OP WHAT DOES THIS MEAN PLEASE

#I AM AFRAID

(40k notes)

🤡 sillybillymaurice Follow

brooo my homies @xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx and @csharpmf were talking about their kill streaks and i said “do you play on an open server or a private world” and they just looked confused 😭😭😭 like bro did. were. were you not taking about minecraft????

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

🙂

🤡 sillybillymaurice Follow

girlie help?????

#ur so silly like wtf

(12 notes)

🔥 csharpmf Follow

bro check out this fire art i whipped up this afternoon 💪💪💪 nothin much just a quick doodle 💪💪💪

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

Hey OP. Maybe do some research on famous art before attempting to plagiarize the Mona fucking Lisa. You disgusting credit thief.

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

maybe you should learn what a joke is lmao

(31k notes)

🐚 thechief Follow

This is your daily reminder to take care of yourself! Drink water and eat some pig! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT LET THE SIGNAL FIRE GO OUT!!!

🔥 csharpmf Follow

…i forgor

🐚 thechief Follow

ISTFG

#literally so pissed /srs

(2,176 notes)

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

i am #strong. i am #emo. i listen to #mychemicalromance. i am #dark

*lifts black hair off face, revealing black eyeshadow* i cannot feel love. i care about no one. because i am #EMO!!!! /srs

🦎 helloitssimon Follow

:(

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

no!!! don’t be sad- *bites black lipstick covered lip and glances away* i… i love you

🦎helloitssimon Follow

:)

🐷 ralphsnumber1stan Follow

Oh my God. And you call ME cringe.

#no hate on Simon even though he’s a weirdo #but Roger is like a different breed of freaky #tw h*nters #tw j*cks tribe #tw conchphobia

(865 notes)

#this took way too long to make #nics stuff #lotf #lotf sim #lotf simulator #tumblr #tumblr simulator #silly #lord of the flies #jalph #jack merridew #simon lotf #roger lotf #ralph lotf #piggy lotf #maurice lotf #samneric lotf #rogermon #mullberry boy lotf #percival wemdeys madison #lotf meme #lotf shitpost #shitpost #poll

[forestshadow-wolf]

@bringinsexybackk69 @thejacketscloset *hands you genderfuck angst and runs away*

transmasc, genderfluid/non-conforming Soap who spend so much of his tween/teen tears pushing away make-up and femininity because he so often didn't feel comfortable in her own skin, and it all just felt.. itchy.

and now, he better knows who she is, and is finally ready to start embracing the more feminine aspect of him that he's spent so long running from.

but... she's missed all those years to learn from a young age, and to make mistakes.

and so when they put on a dress, he feels like it's filled out in all the wrong ways. and the make-up feels caked on and wrong.

and she looks in the mirror, and all that stares back to them is a pig in lipstick.

#john soap mactavish #soap mactavish #john mactavish #soap cod #soap call of duty #soap #gender dysphoria #gender fuckery #gender fluid #gender nonconforming #call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #el rambles #i feel like this sometimes :/ #i refuse to do anything more than simple eyeliner. not even mascara. or lipstick #sometimes I just wanna be pretty like that. and i just can't so i don't

[folkling]

Day 2: Casino de Royale - Tartosa

At this point I need to take a step back and reevaluate the color scheme; I feel like I'm putting lipstick on a pig. I need to find some marble floors that'll look good without being too boring. The floor I'm using now is a little too busy. It's slowly coming together though, i think.

#ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #wip build #folkling build

[dead-dove-yandere]

Marie would like a sweetheart who would warn her if and if he would be willing to defend her from a sexist neighbor after another neighbor yelled at Marie, when her own ex husband wouldn't care.

I’m sorry if the insults the sexist say are kinda cringe I don’t know how to be mean tbh

TW: Stalking, obsession, casual sexism and sexual harassment

Marie sighed as she looked out of the window, seeing the neighbour that lived across the road from her sitting on the porch outside his house.

“He’s there again,” Marie remarked.

“Hm?” Her husband grumbled, disinterested. Marie pretended she didn’t notice him ogling at the Page 3 Girl in his newspaper.

“He’s sat as well. He’s not going to move.”

“Who?” Her husband asked. Marie sighed.

“The bloke across from us. The one who says all those filthy things to me when he catches me outside.” Her husband briefly looked up from his newspaper, before going back to pretending to read.

“Just ignore him,” he said dismissively.

“No. I think I’ll wait until he’s gone,” Marie said, smoothing down her pinafore. Her husband rolled his eyes and tutted.

“Just go get the washing. Stop being so dramatic about it. Better yet, just use the tumble dryer next time. I paid good money for it,” he moaned, shaking his newspaper straight as he continued to fantasise about the naked young woman on the page. Marie pursed her lips and stormed out the living room, grabbing her wash basket and steeling herself ready to go out and face the outdoors. She opened the door and marched towards the washing line, beginning to take down the clothes. She’d barely been there more than a minute when she heard a whistle echo through the street. She glanced up, seeing the man on the porch grinning salaciously, practically drooling like a pig waiting for the hapless farmer to keel over in the sty. She tried to ignore him, her weathered hands shaking as she continued to work, but in the corner of her eye, she saw the man stand up from where he sat on the porch and padded across the road towards her front garden.

“Nice dress. It’d look better on my bedroom floor,” he said, leaning against the fence as he watched her take a dress off the washing line and fold it into her washing basket.

“You got anything a little more revealing in there?” He asked, gesturing to the basket. “Something a little more private?”

“Oh, just go away!” Marie finally snapped, throwing a peg at him. It bounced harmlessly off the fence, making him laugh at her.

“Now why would I do that, sugar?” He asked. “I wouldn’t be able to see -“ he was interrupted by a firm voice.

“I think you’d better leave,” you said, having come out of your house and approached them. The man glared at you.

“It’s none of your business, it’s between me and sugar here,” he growled. You stepped in front of Marie, maintaining a hard stare of your own.

“I said I think you better leave and take your attitude with you,” you repeated, stamping your foot firmly against the ground. The man took the hint and backed off, cursing as he slinked back to his own house.

“Thank you,” Marie said as you turned to look at her. Her hands still shook and her heart was racing. She put a hand to her face, pretending to adjust her lipstick, but in fact hiding the blush that was forming on her cheeks.

“You okay?” You ask her. She nods.

“It’s nothing I haven’t heard him say before, dirty old man,” she says with a grumble. Why couldn’t her husband be… well, more like you?

“You’ll let me know if he causes you trouble again, right? I will come anytime you need.”

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.” You offer each other polite, restrained smiles, and quickly say your goodbyes before you head back to your own house. Marie can only watch you leave, wishing that you’d stay a little longer.

Dividers Credit: See Pinned Post

#yancore #yandere #yandere blog #yandere fic #yandere imagines #yandere x darling #yandere oc #yandere drabble #yandere oc x reader #yandere girl #yan blog #yanblr #female yandere x darling #female yandere oc x reader #female yandere oc #female yandere #yandere female #Story #Ask #Marie

[lmanburs]

something about putting lipstick on a pig, you can't edit your response like a matpat video and expect everyone to blindly believe everything you're saying despite all the documents and threads that have emerged debunking you over the past year.

#if he actually had any semblance of innocence he would sit down and clearly go through the evidence presented and rebute them #with proof of his own. but he's not. and he doesn't have any proof. this entire video is just heresay with some fancy editing #dream situation

[marvelousbelladonna]

Fearne: “We could always pick up some new things for you guys, sometimes when you have a, like putting lipstick on a pig. You just feel a little bit better.”

FCG: “I wouldn’t call them pigs”

FCG: “You’re much prettier”

Laudna: “That’s deeply debatable, I’m sure”

Imogen was ready to throw caution to the wind and kiss her there

#critical role #cr spoilers #campaign 3 #c3e65 #marisha ray #laura bailey #laudna #imogen #imogen temult #pastel goth #southern gothic #laudna x imogen #imodna

[heavencanbeaprisontoo]

Imagine being Jack Nelson's Trusted Secretary

Jack Nelson x Reader

Slight!Thomas Shelby x reader

Summary: Being Jack Nelson's secretary comes with some lovely perks... But also some unfortunate assumptions about your morals.

You had been Mr. Jack Nelson's secretary for years now. Out of all his secretaries, you had stayed the longest and were the only one to abstain from sleeping with him. Not for his lack of trying, mind you. The fact that you were still unmarried and single was a crime in his eyes. You were a pretty young thing, all doe-eyed and red-lipped. Jack used to make you blush with his sweet talk. All those days he'd brush by you and say, "The smell of your perfume in the morning is better than coffee, sweetheart."

Over time, his flirtations stopped being shocking. He wasn't a pig, thank God, but Mr. Nelson could not resist a bit of cheeky banter with you. Asking you, "When are you going to make me the happiest man alive and let me take you dancing?" to which you would reply, "Never, sir."

No matter how familiar he acted with you, you made sure to keep your distance. He had never been inside your apartment. You would decline gifts if they were too extravagant (though they still ended up on your porch). Still, regardless of you keeping the relationship strictly professional, rumors happen. The other girls in the office would see how his hand sat on your lower back. Men he would meet with noticed how his eyes followed you as you crossed a room. People heard how he would speak to you: "There's my guardian angel!" - "The red lipstick again? Please, you know I can't act right when you wear the red." - "Tell me my schedule again. No, I heard you, I just like to hear you read. Your voice soothes me."

No matter what he said or did, you remained calm. Sometimes batting his hand away or chiding him like a mischievous boy. That only seemed to rile him up more.

That was how you two had always been. With Mr. Nelson being a shameless flirt and you putting him down in the most professional (but direct) way possible. Even if you had called him an asshole, Jack probably wouldn't have fired you. Not after he realized how smoothly his life ran with you behind the scenes. You had a great mind for remembering names, dates, and how he knew people. Jack was a sociable guy, popular too. He tended to forget who exactly people were and wasn't always graceful in those interactions. To his associates, criminal or otherwise, Jack had a photographic memory. Because you were whispering names into his ear. Jack never missed an appointment with you around either. You were his lucky charm, which was why he had to bring you to England with him.

Enter Mr. Shelby.

Jack had brought you around hundreds of men before, many of whom had tried to flirt with you. Thomas Shelby had been the first to make you blush. It was a simple thing. Thomas and Jack sat down for their meeting and Jack had asked, "A light, doll?" You went over to him with your match and he smiled at you as he took his first puffs. Tommy held up his cigarette as a silent request.

As you leaned down to him to light his cigarette, his pale eyes bore into yours. You tried the strike a match for him and the stick was a dud. After three more tries to light a second, his hands took yours. He lit the match and exhaled smoke from the corner of his mouth. You sputtered an apology and when you turned back around Jack saw your cheeks flush. His good mood was gone.

The meeting went on until Tommy decided to push a bit further. And here was where that old assumption came back to rear its head.

"I was surprised, Mr. Nelson, to find that you would bring your wife and mistress on the same boat. More surprised that you would set both women up in the very same hotel. I take it they're aware of each other?"

Jack's cigarette paused in its journey to his lips. His brow furrowed as he thought, 'Mistress?' He hadn't had a consistent lover in a few years now. Between entertaining his wife, he kept his bedmates fresh and on a frequent rotation. Jack followed Thomas' eyes, and found them set on you as you flipped through your ever-growing booklet of contacts. Feeling eyes on you, you raised your head and blinked owlishly, "Pardon?"

Mr. Nelson waved a hand, "Don't worry about it sweetheart. Go take a break, you've earned some time with your heels propped." You started to complain that you should be there to take notes, Jack would hear none of it, "I mean it, go relax."

You sighed and exited the room. Jack felt almost relieved. He wouldn't correct Mr. Shelby. Not tonight. Not with the way his eyes had followed you as you went out the door. And especially not after he said, "I've never seen the appeal of American women. They always seemed loud, attention-seeking... garish. I can see not all fit the mold."

"Oh, she's not always so meek. She's just on her best behavior," Jack forced back on his cavalier persona. Too little too late. Thomas Shelby was a shark and there was blood in the water. He went in for the kill.

There was a glint to Mr. Shelby's eye, "I think I'd like to see what she looks like when she's behaving badly. I've a weakness for red lipstick."

Jack's knuckles were turning white as he gripped the arm of his chair with his left hand, "Let's get back to our previous discussion, huh?"

"Of course."

#peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders #jack nelson x reader #jack nelson #thomas shelby x you #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders imagine

[jojissalsa]

here are some wips i'm desperately trying to finish! (if you're curious ;P)

✞ Vendetta Leon:

‪‪❤︎‬ Pretty When I Cry:

☆ summary: you find out leon cheated on you with ada, and with that comes denying him of any kinds of affection. until he takes matters into his own hands, leon knows how to fix his pretty girl ;)

You couldn't believe it when you found out, you knew Leon could get distant. But finding that stupid fucking teddy bear keychain that woman gave him was enough to start a fight between you two, let alone the date offer tucked inside. How sweet. You thought that was it, when it initially happened. A quick spat when you found it a couple days after he came home from that horrid mission, and then some makeup sex. God, you wished that was all it was. All it amounted to. That was until you saw the keychain again, for some odd reason. Even more odd when curiosity got the better of you, and you unzipped it again. Empty.

‪‪❤︎‬ And if you were my little girl:

☆ summary: you've never been close to your dad on a surface level way, or even in a deep way. but after he finds out some of your illicit activities, you guys share your deep, twisted ways <3

Leon’s been single for a while, and ugly girls like you have been ugly for a while. And he looks at you like an ugly girl. Tells you not to get tattoos, shit like that. Like it's still the 50s. Probably because that's the only time he could get pussy. That's why he treats you like shit, and why you and him are addicted to sex. It's all you do ever since you turned 18. And you clean up nice enough. But deep down you're still an ugly girl. What's that saying? Lipstick on a pig. That's really who you are.

❤︎ Anything you Like:

☆ summary: you're excited to meet your new stepdad, and he seems like a great guy. unlike you, who definitely has some issues. good thing leon has a fix for that ;)

Your mom finally got a new man. You're pretty happy about it, really because she is. You're not excited in the slightest to actually meet the guy, just because your mom is happy doesn't mean the guy isn't as bad as your dad. She didn't really learn her lesson after him, sure, she was smart enough to get a divorce, condemn him for all the shit he put you two through. but the damage was already done, honestly. At least the daddy issues make you cute? They don't. They make you so fucking depraved, and in a way it kinda concerns you. The porn you look at, the guys you fuck, you know it's probably some deep seated issues, but it doesn't make any of it less hot.

✿ Death Island Leon:

❤︎ Give you the world:

☆ summary: leon works way too hard, and of course the years of trauma still cause those pesky nightmares. thank god you're there for him, and you don't mind it at all.

“You don’t need to tell me, you know I just wanna help.” You sigh, your hand making lazy circles on his toned stomach. “You go through so much, too much if I’m being honest.” Leon chuckles, a pink hue starting to dust his cheeks. “Hey! I’m being serious. If it were up to me, I’d give you the whole world. You really deserve it, Leon..” You prop yourself up on your elbows, a puppy love look in your eyes that you know looks only a tad obsessive. Leon doesn’t answer for a moment, just letting his wide smile speak his mind as his hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. You sigh and nuzzle your cheek against his palm, your hand slowly making its way to the waistband of his sweats. “Can I? Wanna take your mind off it.” You murmur against his palm, that sweet look in your eyes making him blush even harder.

❤︎ Lipstick Stains:

☆ summary: it was small at first, but it's always the small things with leon. they always drive him crazy, eating away at the sane part of his brain and just making him wanna be around you all the time. maybe it's a side effect of marriage?

He was fine seeing it at first, seeing the smudges of your lipstick on the glasses that he’d clean in the sink or throwing away napkins colored the same rouge in certain spots. He’d just ignore the chill that’d run down his spine when the thought of that same rouge being trailed across his neck would pass. It's just lipstick, is he a teenager?

❆ Re4 Remake Leon:

❤︎ A Girl can Dream (Part 1)

☆ summary: you work closely with ada wong, and leon knows a thing or two about mercenaries. they love to cause trouble.

Leon knew you looked familiar, from the moment he saw you in line at boarding to the second you sat next to him. He also knew you could both feel something. Physical attraction? Nah, he would never get close to another woman like Ada, too many secrets. You on the other hand? You were dying at the chance to run into his arms like a giggling teenage girl, looking at the window as you absentmindedly twirl your hair on your finger. You really don’t wanna pay him much more attention, partly because he’s insanely distracting, mainly because you know he would reject you in a heartbeat. No way a guy like him is single, right? A girl can dream.

𖦹 Re2 Remake Leon:

❤︎ All Mine:

☆ summary: leon's affection has always been nice. but he also has the power to deprive you of it entirely. and when that happens, you can't help but go insane.

You don’t even know what really drives this affinity you have for him, sure, he is definitely a looker. No debate about that. You’d run in front of incoming traffic just to be near him. But why? He’s nice, funny, drives a nice car, you both have a lot in common. But there really is something about Leon Kennedy, that puppy faced freak, that really fucks with your brain chemistry. The way he touches you, it’s confident yet tender. Well, it was at first. It had that tinge of gentleness, like you were a gorgeous porcelain doll that deserved so much care, but he could be rough with you in the most enticing way possible. He would choke you ever so slightly just so he could kiss you deeper, feel your tongue against his, like he needed to remind you of who makes you shudder like that. It was addicting, having that kind of affection that made your brain all syrupy and nonfunctioning.

☁︎ Infinite Darkness Leon:

❤︎ Dangerous Game (Part 2):

☆ summary: now that you're settled in, it's your turn to babysit leon. and you're making it much more difficult to focus when you talk like that.

Suddenly you're getting an incoming call from Leon, and you're kicking yourself when you feel your face heat up. “Hey there, Agent Kennedy. Need anything from me?” There you go again, still not using his name. Such a tease. He tries not to roll his eyes when he notices your smug smirk already.

❤︎ A Girl can Dream (Part 2):

☆ summary: ada has taught you so well, you know when to give up and help leon out when he needs it. that doesn't mean you shouldn't get a reward for it though, right?

You repress a yelp as he pushes you against the desk, his face barely illuminated from the glow of the chandelier in the hallway. "Enough with the teasing," You nearly shiver at how stern he sounds, but you've always been good at poker faces. "I've got a job to do, and it'd be wonderful if you'd shut your mouth and help me out here." Leon's voice is hot against your neck, his large hands gripping your hips, keeping you against him. "And what do I get out of that? You gotta make it worth my time, Kennedy,"

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ please be patient with me as i finish these! life has been a rollercoaster lately, but making fanfics and writing about leon will always be a passion of mine, so it's not going anywhere anytime soon!

#my wips #wips #writing update #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x fem reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon resident evil #leon s kennedy #re leon #leon scott kennedy