#it's a hobby meant to bring us joy

[isabellehemlock]

How to explain to someone why you unfollowed/blocked/curated your dash . . .

Don't. Because it's your blog.

Your little corner in the world. While it's important to have and develop the life skills of being able to maintain civility in shared public spaces with say, school and work colleagues, this is fandom.

It's the one area where you can make it as niche as you want to, custom tailored to things that bring you joy. Life and people are hard enough some days, soak up the moments of joy where you can.

You deserve more than to feel miserable as you doom scroll your dash because you're afraid of the repercussions of some stranger on the internet berating you in DMs. Would you do that to someone if the tables were turned? No, so rest in the knowledge that for 99% of others, it's not that deep (for the 1% who would have the gall, report any harassing messages and block).

So, to summarize: do what works for you and your mental health. Whatever allows you to enjoy your fandom experience the most. And connect with people who are into the same niche things you are.

May fandom bring you joy again ❤️

#fandom #fandom stuff #curating #it's really not that deep #it's a hobby meant to bring us joy #life is hard enough #let's find happy places

[strawberryspence]

Eddie’s never been in a serious relationship. He’s used to kissing in the dark alleys of a bar, murmured lies underneath bleachers. He was never the one to be shown off, to be proud off and celebrated. No matter how much he yearned for it, he was never meant to be that person. 

Not until he meets Steve Harrington. And god, to be loved by him really makes Eddie rethink all of his preconceived opinions. Maybe Eddie is serious relationship material. 

But Steve… Steve’s a hopeless romantic. He gets him a set of D&D dices just because he thought Eddie would love them. Opens the door for him, opens the car for him. Tries to learn his hobbies, learns to like it. The first time they slept together, Eddie woke up with breakfast in bed. Which was fucking ridiculous because Steve should be the one waking up with breakfast in bed. He buys Eddie flowers for every date, even though Eddie teases him for it. 

And Eddie— Eddie’s a newbie in this. He’s been trying his best to catch up in the romance department. He resolves to do something when Steve got him some tulips for a date once and Eddie brought it up. 

“I love it, Stevie. It’s so nice to get flowers, hmmm?” Eddie smiles, a little bit dazed with affection as he smells the flower. 

Eddie would like to think he knows Steve’s expressions pretty well. So when he sees that beautiful smile drop from his boyfriend’s face, it all clicks for Eddie.

Steve Harrington has never gotten flowers. 

Eddie starts with those flowers in Melvald’s. Joyce has very nicely informed him that they are called Gerberas. Eddie got Steve a bunch of different colors. It’s not that big, just a small bundle. He didn’t want to over do it, just wanted to test the waters. Find out how his boyfriend feels about getting flowers.

It’s embarrassing walking with a bunch of flowers, with his whole metal thing but all of that vanishes when Eddie picks Steve up for a date and he sees the flowers in Eddie’s hands. 

“What’s that for?” Steve looks at the flowers warily. 

Eddie smiles, trying to hide the nerves he’s been feeling since he got the flowers, “For you, sunshine. They reminded me of you so I got them.” 

Like everything else he’s offered Steve— his friendship, his life, his heart— Eddie holds out his hand with just enough courage.

Steve takes the flowers with reluctance, staring at it with fondness and some other emotion Eddie can’t pinpoint. 

They sit in silence for a minute, as Steve just stares and as Eddie just stands with his nerves. Eddie opens his mouth to take it back, and to just swallow the embarrassment. Maybe flowers just ain’t for everyone. 

But then, Steve starts tearing up, sniffling a little, as he blinks at Eddie, “I love it, baby. It’s beautiful. Thank you.” 

Eddie stares in shock as his boyfriend runs back into the house to put it in a vase. Steve’s eyes are still red around the rims when he finally comes out, his nose scrunched up from the sniffling. 

Eddie doesn’t bring it up, he knows Steve won’t want to talk about it. But if they’re a little clingy with each other in the coming days, who’s gonna be mad? 

Since then, Eddie’s made it his life mission to get Steve flowers on the randomest days. He’ll get Steve some sunflowers on bad days, maybe pick him some daisies from the field for when Steve picks the kids up from Hellfire.

Till to this day, Steve gets a little teary eyed when Eddie gets him a random flower. It melts Eddie’s heart into a goo, that this simple action makes his boyfriend tear up with joy. He thinks, in a few more weeks, he’ll garner enough courage to buy flowers and just tell Steve that he loves him. 

It goes on for a few weeks before it comes to a halting stop one random summer day. Steve’s car had to go into the shop for maintenance, so Eddie picked him up and dropped him off to work. When he’s about to pick him up, Eddie goes and picks up some carnations Joyce had reserved for him.  

“Hello, to my favorite lesbian.” Eddie greets when he enters the Family Video store, only seeing Robin at the counter. He closes the doors behind him, flipping the sign from open to close.

“Hello to you too, my favorite gay.” Robin lights up, throwing away the magazine she’s reading. 

“I am here to pick you and the majesty.” Eddie dramatically bows, the flowers still in his hand.

Robin laughs, making grabby hands at him, “You could’ve just picked us up. No need for flowers, you know?” 

Eddie laughs. Whoops, maybe he should’ve gotten something for Robin too. “I am sorry, Robin. This ones for my Stevie. I’ll get you something next time.” 

Robin stares at him, blinking in surprise, “Those flowers are for Steve?” 

Eddie nods enthusiastically. 

“Steve? Our Steve?” 

Eddie squints at her, “Do we have any other Steve?” 

“Our Steve… who is… very much allergic to flowers?”

Eddie blinks at her with owlish eyes. 

“No, he’s not!” He exclaims. 

Robin looks at him, and back to the flowers, then back to him again. She gets this look on her face, like she holds the key to the universe. If Eddie squints really hard, he can see the bulb lighting on her head. 

But then she bursts out of laughter. Bend to your knees, hitting the floor, aching ribs kind of laughter. 

Okay, Eddie’s kinda offended now. 

“What’s so funny?” Eddie asks, unable to hide his frown. 

“What’s happening?” Steve comes out from the backroom, confused with Robin’s laughter. “Oh, hey Eds!” 

Robin turns to him, pointing and red on the face with laughter,  “Oh my god. Steve— you’re freaking whipped!” 

“What?” Steve turns to her with confusion. 

Eddie and Steve just stare at her as she takes her time to calm down. 

“I thought…” Robin takes a breath, “I thought you were having a very extreme allergic reaction to spring. I was this close to booking you an appointment with the doctor! You didn’t tell me you were getting flowers from Eddie.” 

Eddie turns to his boyfriend, “Stevie? Are you allergic to flowers?” 

“No!” Steve exclaims. He grabs the flowers out of Eddie’s hands, “See! I am fine!” 

“Steve.” Robin warns.

“I am fine! I love getting flowers from you, Eds. It’s— it’s the best.” 

They stare at each other. Steve squints, his nose scrunching up when he gets a whiff of the flowers. 

“Achoo!” 

“You are allergic!” Eddie exclaims, points an accusing finger at him. 

“I am sorry!” Steve says, his eyes watering again. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?! What kind of boyfriend am I?” Eddie pulls on his hair in frustration, bringing it into his mouth, “Jesus! I was giving you so many flowers! You must’ve felt awful! How could I have not seen that?!” 

“Eddie—“ Steve moves closer. 

“I thought you were crying with joy when I gave you flowers. It was allergies! Why didn't you tell me?!”

“Oh my god!” Robin shouts, making both of them freeze. She turns to Steve, “Steve! Why didn't you tell your boyfriend you were allergic? That’s dumb and made you sick!” 

She then turns to Eddie, “And Eddie! Steve's extremely, insanely, in love with you to the point that he’ll accept the flowers from you! It’s nothing against you! He wants the flowers, his body doesn’t!” 

Huh? 

“What did you say?” Eddie croaks out, breathless with disbelief. 

“Robin.” Steve gasps. 

Robin rolls her eyes, “I said Steve is extremely—“ She stops, her eyes widening in realization, “Uh-oh. Uhm.” 

She perks up, cupping her ears, “What’s that? Did you guys hear that? I think there’s a raccoon in the backroom. Let me check. You guys stay here.” Robin basically zooms out of the room.  Eddie has never seen her move that fast, and they fought an evil wizard together.

Eddie turns to Steve when they’re finally alone. 

“Give me that.” Eddie says, pulling the flowers away from Steve.

“That’s mine.” Steve pouts. 

“Sunshine, you’re allergic.” Eddie keeps the flowers away from him, tucking it on the table. They stand awkwardly around each other, not knowing what to say. 

“Did you hear—“

“What was Robin—“

Eddie smiles at him, softening when he sees Steve chew on his lips nervously, “You first, Stevie.”

Steve nods, gulping as his eyes finally meet Eddie’s, “I am sorry for not telling you. I really loved the flowers and I honestly thought the medication would be enough. Maybe next time, you can tell me beforehand so I can take some and actually enjoy being around them.” 

“I am never getting you flowers anymore if it gets you all sniffly.” Eddie chuckles at Steve’s headstrong perspective, “So— Uh— About what Robin said…” 

Steve straightens up, stammering to spit the words out, “You don’t have to say anything! I am not forcing you to say anything, Edd. We could forget it even happened. Who even is Robin?” 

Eddie moves closer, pushing Steve in between the aisles of the store where no one from outside can see them. 

“I just want to know if it’s true, Stevie.” Eddie whispers, his own voice quivering with anxiety and anticipation. 

Steve stares at him, sensing his boyfriend’s own worry. The nerves in his face melted into an affectionate smile. 

“Eds, baby. I kept all the flowers you gave me till they died even though it gave me the worst allergies. Of course, I am," He scoffs, "As Robin has said, extremely, insanely, in love with you.” 

Eddie breaks into a smile, “Well, I am also extremely, maybe even more insanely, in love with you. The flowers weren’t exactly fitting my metal image, but I was still out there picking out flowers in the field.” 

Steve rolls his eyes, “Oh, you’re annoying.” 

There’s no more words said after that. Well, because they started making out right there, all the newly found love and emotions all in the open. That in itself is enough for now.

After the night Eddie found out that Steve’s allergic, Eddie calls El up. The next day, El teaches Eddie how to make origami flowers.

Eddie never buys flowers for Steve ever again. 

He makes it for him instead.

(No one tell Steve, but in a few years, Eddie will ask him to unfold the paper flowers. Only to find a question wedged between its stems and folds. Steve says yes to the question, with real tears of joy.

On their wedding day, Steve will walk down another aisle, a bouquet of handmade flowers made from Eddie's hospital discharge papers and NDAs in his hand.)

#i didnt proofread this sorry #PROOF I CAN WRITE FLUFF #ILL TAKE THIS AS A WIN #WEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH #steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve harrington x eddie munson fluff #steddie rants #steddie headcanon #steddie ficlet #dae writes #daeheadcanons

[ddarker-dreams]

Entanglement.

Yan Kafka x F Reader.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, power imbalance, unwanted kissing, mild not SFW implications. Word count: 1k.

“You’re still refusing to wear the clothes I gifted you, dearest?” 

A dulcet voice smoother than the finest silk coos from behind. 

You don’t deviate from your original task. Just outside the window, the cold, unforgiving vacuum of space looms. A mere panel of specialized glass is the only barrier between you and infinite nothingness. The concept used to frighten you, to a paralyzing extent. It got to the point your oh-so-benevolent captor had to make adjustments. Using some technology you’re unacquainted with, the dark canvas morphed into a familiar, more palpable set piece: the scenery of your home planet. 

You’ve since overcome this hurdle and no longer require the mirage’s services. 

Space isn’t what you fear anymore. No, it’s the woman with the future in her eyes who holds that distinction. 

“It isn’t to my taste.” 

“I know,” she agrees. Her perfume is near stupefying when it invades your senses. “It's to mine.” 

Kafka is either aggravatingly unassuming or laser-sharp with her intentions. You’re never given time to adjust to her fickle ways, the second you think you might understand her, she reveals just enough that you’re right back where you started. 

Gloved fingers hover over your wrist, causing your hair to stand on end. As if she’s playing a glissando on the piano, her fingers slowly creep up, from your forearm to your bare shoulder. Presently, you’re wearing one of the few garments you were allowed to bring. It’s a plain, white dress that she longs to stain with her own palette. 

Her arms envelop your midsection from behind. She nuzzles her nose into your neck, swaying you back and forth while she hums a haunting ballad. Can she hear the skipping of your heart? Does she consider it just another instrument to compose her hedonistic harmonies? 

“Are the stars truly that interesting?” she murmurs against your skin. “Surely, they aren’t prettier than I am, hm?” 

“Maybe. At least they understand the concept of personal space.” 

“Oh, I do as well. I just choose to ignore it when it comes to you.” 

“I wish you wouldn’t.” 

You can feel her smile.

“You’d be lonely without me. Maddeningly so.” 

“Insanity is tempting if you’re the alternative.” 

She laughs, the sound low and husky, belying any offense taken, if you had the hubris to think anything you said could hurt her. Before you can register anything, she twirls you around. In this new, uncomfortable intimate position, you’re forced to look her in the eye. There’s no quality of hers that unsettles you more. They draw you in and devour you like a black hole, picking apart actions you haven’t even committed yet. 

It reminds you, similar to the path she walks, that nothing you do will ever amount to any meaningful change in your circumstances. 

Kafka settles her gloved pointer finger and thumb on your chin, tilting your head up. Whatever she’s thinking is as unknowable as the universe itself. Her fondness for you is an illness without a cure — even she must know how sick it is. Something tells you that if a remedy for it ever existed, she’d refuse to take it, and would instead crush the vial before your eyes. 

“What a beauty you are,” she praises through lidded eyes. “There is no greater joy than knowing you feel every second we’re apart, just as I do.” 

Irate, you try moving your head away, but this causes her grip to tighten. Never enough to hurt — it’s only meant to warn. 

“I take it you don’t like the cosmetics I brought back, either?” 

Kafka delights in asking questions she already knows the answers to. If she had anything resembling a hobby, you suppose that would be it. 

The skin beneath her eyes crinkled with amusement at your abrupt vow of silence. You fight off a shiver at the look. It’s all-consuming, dangerous in a way that rouses your primal instincts. She leans down close enough that you can feel her breath fan against your face. Her head tilts in a deliberate show of faux curiosity. 

“Is your tongue frozen? Should I think of a way to warm it up?” 

The hand that isn’t holding your head in place toys with the strap of your dress. 

Swallowing thickly, you shake your head. You know when to surrender in a losing game. 

“... No.” 

“No?” She repeats, mimicking the inflection of your voice. “Ah, well, that’s a shame.” 

You almost sigh in relief when her hand retreats. She reaches into a pocket on the inside of her coat and pulls out a tube of lipstick. She applies the roseate pigment, maintaining smoldering eye contact with you all the while.

After what feels like an eternity, she descends upon you, her lips seeking yours in a fit of scathing passion. You freeze up at the unexpected boldness. She takes advantage of your reverie, interlocking your lips in a languid motion. There’s no urgency to the kiss, she takes her time with you, just how she likes it. 

Her hand presses against your back, urging your chest to arch into hers. It isn’t until her hand starts venturing down that you return to your senses. In a fit of panic, you raise your hands to push her away. The defiance gets you nowhere — she catches your wrists with ease and holds them in place. 

Fortunately, she pulls back, although she doesn’t relinquish her grip. 

“I knew this color would look good on you,” Kafka sighs, almost wistful. Then, she raises your wrist and presses a lingering kiss against your pulse point. It leaves a smudged lipstick stain behind. “That leaves the issue of the outfit. Hm, what to do, what to do…” 

As if hit with an epiphany, her eyes light up in microscopic supernovas. “I know. If you need my help applying makeup, then why should getting dressed be any different? Why, you should’ve said so sooner.” 

Indignant, you seethe, “That isn’t…! Fine, I’ll put it on myself. Just— just turn around, okay?” 

“Of course. Anything for my sweet, shy girl.” 

Surprisingly, Kafka acquiesces. She pivots on her heel and covers her eyes with her hands. A teasing gesture, if you had to guess. 

Just when you believe you’re regained a semblance of control over the situation, she throws in a comment that snuffs out this fledgling hope. 

“I’ll give you to the count of a ten before I come and help you myself.” 

#just wanted to write a little something for my Woman #kafka x reader #yandere kafka x reader #honkai star rail x reader #yandere honkai star rail x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #my stuff

[lotusbxtch]

Sunlight

Song: Sunlight Character: Joel Miller

Pairing: Joel Miller x gn!Reader Summary: Joel Miller has avoided love, pushed it away at the first sight to stay in the darkness. But then he meets you, and he wonders if he was wrong after all. Word Count: 578 Rating: Mature, mentions of smut Warnings/tags: post-outbreak, takes place in Jackson, vague mentions of smut, angst, Joel hates feelings, everyone loves Reader, grumpy sunshine trope incoming, heavy use of Hozier lyrics, no use of y/n, not beta’d

a/n: This is my entry for @wannab-urs Hozier Drabble Challenge! This felt like the perfect pairing for the song, so thank you Gin! Hope I did it justice.

Ever since the outbreak, since losing Sarah, Joel has shunned the light of love of any kind. He preferred to stay in the cool, detached predictability of a life without it. It was dark, but it wasn’t dangerous for his heart. That was, until you showed up in Jackson.

A veritable ball of light, you charmed everyone in the settlement. Your bright smiles, cheerful demeanor, and deep kindness easily helped you become a pillar of the community. You helped out in any way you could, even if it was something on the more physical end, like construction. People asked you to teach them some of your hobbies: baking, knitting, painting. You helped every single one with a smile on your face. He knew you were nothing but goodness personified, and yet he shunned your light. He stayed cool and quiet, avoiding you just like he’d been doing for longer than he knew. Until one day, he witnessed your sunlight directed towards him.

It was a Sunday, and you’d snuck up on Joel on his porch late at night, strumming absentmindedly on his guitar, listening to the hum of night. Suddenly he heard “I didn’t know you played guitar!” come out from the dark bushes. He jumped slightly, startled, until you popped your head up, eyes shimmering with amusement. He sighed, disgruntled, and said, “Yeah, I don’t usually play for an audience.”

“How about an audience of one?” you suggested coyly, intertwining your fingers with each other, looking down and then back up at him expectantly but shyly. He searched your eyes, so bright. His defenses were screaming at him to be a jerk, to push you away as usual, but a small voice in him said, “play for them.” He swore it sounded just like Sarah. So he sighed, and situated the guitar in his arms. As he played, you slowly wandered up the steps to his porch, keeping your eyes locked on him the whole time. He finished the song and looked up, his breath catching in his throat. You had the most spellbound, enraptured look on your face.

“Joel,” you breathed, “that was so beautiful.”

He was at a loss for words, because he realized that for the first time, he was experiencing your sunlight for himself. He was lost to you, lost in your radiant sunlight, your bright effervescence of love and joy. And he realized he could not be without you for the rest of his life.

After that, he willingly drowned like a falling Icarus into the sea of your love, wax wings melting fast. He gorged himself on your light, drawn like a moth to the flame. You spent days in his bed over the next few weeks, the two of you unclothed most of the time, sighing and moaning and screaming in pleasure, learning about every cell in each other’s bodies. You bathed him in your sunlight, warming his weary bones, soaked in the cold rain of loneliness, bringing him back up to the surface. He let you crawl your way under his skin, living there, searing into his heart. Soon enough, you would rise with him each day, his home now also your home. 

He knew that love meant pain, meant hurt and suffering if it were ever taken away from him. But he was addicted to you, to your sunlight. He’d gladly put himself into a death trap for you, and he knew you’d do the same for him.

#joel miller #pedro pascal #hozier drabble challenge #hozier #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller imagine #joel miller x reader #the last of us hbo #tlou #tlou hbo #joel miller fanfiction

[thecuddlycauldron]

Pick a card!

What do I need to focus on next month?

✩°｡🧸𓏲⋆.🧺𖦹 ₊˚ These are general readings, only take what resonates and leave the rest! These are only meant to be for fun and nothing else. Trust your intuition and don't overthink. If nothing resonates, feel free to move on. If you stay, I hope you enjoy what the cards have in store for you today! ✩°｡🧸𓏲⋆.🧺𖦹 ₊˚

🪺 Card 1 (Queen of wands)

The queen of wands symbolizes energy, enthusiasm, and a strong sense of determination. Explore your creative side and pursue activities that ignite your passion. Whether it's art, writing, or any other form of expression - let your creativity flow freely. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Don't be afraid to assert yourself and stand up for what you believe in. Your confidence will inspire others to follow your lead. Focus on endeavors that truly excite you by investing your time and energy into projects that align with your passions and bring you joy. Maintain a positive outlook and approach challenges with optimism and trust that you have the inner strength and resilience to overcome any obstacles that may arise.

🪺 Card 2 (Page of wands)

The page of wands represents excitement, exploration, and the pursuit of new opportunities. It suggests that you should focus on embracing a spirit of adventure and being open to new experiences. This could involve trying out new hobbies, learning something new, or embarking on a journey of self-discovery. Step out of your comfort zone and take bold actions towards your goals. Don't let fear hold you back from pursuing what excites you. Embrace the unknown with courage and enthusiasm. Try to eek inspiration from your surroundings and the people you encounter. Pay attention to the signs and synchronicities that may be guiding you towards your next adventure or opportunity.

🪺 Card 3 (4 of cups)

The four of cups indicates feelings of apathy, discontentment, or boredom. It suggests that you may be feeling emotionally stagnant or disconnected from your surroundings. However, it also serves as a reminder to look inward and reevaluate your perspective. Shift your focus from what you perceive as lacking to what you already have in your life. Try to take time to address any underlying feelings of discontentment or dissatisfaction and reflect on the root causes of these emotions and consider seeking support from friends, family, etc. Use this period of emotional introspection to gain insight into your desires, aspirations, and personal values. Consider whether your current path aligns with your authentic self and make any necessary adjustments to realign with your true purpose.

Love, Willow

・⊹₊˖𓂃 ・ 🐌🌿🍄🌿🐌 ・ 𓂃˖₊⊹・

In-depth & fair priced readings on my esty!

・⊹₊˖𓂃 ・ 🐌🌿🍄🌿🐌 ・ 𓂃˖₊⊹・

#pac tarot #pac reading #pac tarot reading #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a card tarot #tarot witch #tarot #tarot cards #tarot deck #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #daily tarot #free tarot #free tarot readings #tarot reading #my tarot reading #tarot community #witch blog #witch community #witchy #witchblr #witchcore #witches #witchcraft #poc witch #woc witch

[taikanyohou]

no bc. like. the eighth sense is getting EVERYTHING right.

it's compelling. like. you feel like you KNOW where the storyline is going, what's going to happen next, and then BHAM! NO! something entirely different happens. its never boring. and it makes the wait for the next episode jittery and anxious and it leaves you on tenterhooks BUT THAT'S THE POINT! its meant to leave you guessing. its got this "impending sense of doom" vibe to it that i referred to in a previous post, but that describes the current vibe of jaewon and jihyun's relationship and the atmosphere surrounding it: its thrilling.

characters can breathe!!! and we can breathe with them! jaewon and jihyun are allowed to have scenes where its just them alone, immersed in a hobby that THEY like, and you're there with them! they get to have scenes with so many other people that aren't just with each other. they get to form real relationships with their boss, their therapist, their new and old friends. and each relationship and dynamic brings something new, each dynamic formed between jaewon or jihyun and the people around them is made to allow a certain type of conversation to be had for jaewon and jihyun that they can't really have with someone who isn't that character, for example jihyun can only really openly speak to his boss in the same way jaewon can to yoonwon or his therapist. jihyun can't talk in that same manner to anyone else, nor can jaewon. at the same time, it also soooo BEAUTIFULLY illustrates how performative we can become in certain relationships and situations and around certain people, and how unhealthy and detrimental that can be for us - look at jaewon and taehyung, who are meant to be best friends, but are anything but it.

its such a QUEER show. it takes the small little scenes you'd normally see in a white western heterosexual movie, like the two love interests linking their pinky fingers together to then clasping each other's hands and smiling shyly to the side, to sitting opposite one another on a train and just gazing and gazing and gazing at one another, to calling a taxi after your not-a-date-but-its-so-a-date to go home in and the taxi is literally stood right there waiting but you can't let each other go ..... its taken all those cliche scenes and made them feel so ... new and fresh and vibrant and so so QUEER and any queer person watching the show FEELS those butterflies in their stomach.

oh to see a main character who is asian and queer actually GO TO therapy, and imply that jaewon has been going for 10 whole years to therapy. to have his mental illness be given a name (depression!), to have him talk about his issues so openly!!, to discuss what the struggles of being in your mid-twenties feel like!! to see him talk about how burdensome he finds it being "nice" to everyone and wearing a mask all the time and ultimately his therapist telling him straight that, "in fact, in life, you don't need to be loved by everyone." or when jihyun's boss stood up for him and fought eunji over how she treated him bc she KNOWS jihyun would never bc he isnt a confrontational person, but jihyun's boss did not stand for it, and how she continues to just give him the correct life advice as and when he needs it.

the romance. the chemistry. the way jaewon and jihyun pull you into their bubble. the way you feel the excitement and joy and apprehension and tension and heartache and disappointment between the two of them. YOU feel it. and thats all down to the way the show has been shot and the muuuuusic (oh my god the muuuuusic) and the way the camera is used. it makes it feel personal. in first person. not you watching them, but rather, you BEING them. the way you can FEEL how nervous and anxious jihyun gets when he is in ANY kind of social situation. how you can FEEL the quiet anger and the exhaustion from being so performative and the lack of patience in jaewon like a ticking timebomb when he's around taehyung. you do, you just FEEL it.

anyway. the eighth sense might just be (who am i kidding, it already is) on its way to claim the title for the best bl of 2023, and its only april.

#THIS SHOW HAS ME BY THE THROAT I AM. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. IM JUST SO HAPPY IT CAME INTO MY LIFE. #the eighth sense #faiza talks

[followfire]

I have a lot of feelings about Jean’s birthday letter

Frederica is often portrayed as strict and sometimes even cold, but she actually seems very caring here. She sent a letter and a gift!!

The fact that Jean received it the day before and not the day itself can attest to the fact that Frederica is meticulous and attentive. She’s careful with schedules and makes sure things arrive on time, with some wiggle room even. But it also shows that she treats Jean’s birthday as something important. She did something for her and made sure she would receive it on the right day. She’s showing love and affection.

The gift itself being a sword shows how much Frederica sees her daughter as a knight first and foremost. It is a nice gift and a nice gesture, but it’s work related rather than hobby related. It’s practical rather than simply something that would bring her joy. It reminds me of Jean’s first birthday letter, where she said that her mother used to take her to Windrise, and Windrise is a beautiful place to just enjoy a stroll, but it’s also a very meaningful place for the Knights and Mondstadt’s history, and I’m rather inclined to think that it’s not just for the scenery that they would go there. Jean’s birthday is not meant to extravagantly celebrate her as a person. Jean’s birthday is not just for herself, it’s for her to honour who she is as a Gunnhildr. It’s to help her in her knight duties.

It may seem a bit cold to treat Jean as a knight on her birthday but I don’t think Frederica is doing it on purpose. I don’t think she is being cold at all, actually. I think she’s being very loving, and that she doesn’t know how to express love in a different way. Frederica’s relationship with Jean probably revolves around knighthood, so it is lacking, in a way, in terms of showing affection, but at the same time when you’re both entirely dedicated to being a knight, a sword is a beautiful gift. It’s the best proof of love that she could give. Frederica is not not showing affection, it’s just that she’s showing it through beautiful swords.

Also, Frederica probably sees herself the same way: a knight first and foremost and it’s probably the same kind of love that she received herself. (I don't think Jean herself has ever mentioned her mother for something that isn't related to heritage, duty and knighthood... So I'm not sure Jean herself would express affection for her mother in a way that isn't related to being a Gunnhildr...)

It’s actually a thoughtful gift. It’s Frederica saying "I found a nice thing. Here, I think you should have it". She’s on an expedition herself so the sword could be useful to her or someone else within the expedition. But she’s thinking of her daughter first. She wants to help her from where she is. It’s practical but in a very caring way.

Although… Frederica did offer a dress to Barbara, so she doesn’t always give practical gifts; she can give something that is just pleasing. But maybe it’s because she doesn’t have the same relationship with Barbara. Their relationship isn’t defined by the weight of duty as it is with Jean. I think Frederica offering a dress is a way to keep contact or reconnect with the daughter who doesn’t live with her. But she doesn’t need to get closer to Jean, she just needs to support her. They already share something: knighthood and duty. So sword it is. And Barbara gets a flower dress and Jean gets her mom’s old outfit. (Unless… Barbara did wonder when she would get to wear the dress on stage, so maybe it was destined for shows rather than a nice everyday life thing, and it would also make it a practical work related gift?)

TL;DR Knighthood is Frederica’s love language for Jean. She said I love you.

#Genshin Impact #Jean Gunnhildr #Frederica Gunnhildr #Barbara Pegg #enim

[dawnbreakersgaze]

"You're afraid you'll drag everyone down. You don't want to be dead weight. You think you can handle any problem by being a big girl."

"It's okay to be weak."

A little bit of self indulgent art tonight, as I got the "Flowery Words" tender moments with Raf last night and I've been a bit of a wreck ever since. Last year, I started losing the use of my hands pretty rapidly, and as an artist it's been a pretty emotionally devastating thing to grapple with. I can no longer paint and draw to the levels I used to, and I've had to give up a lot of my other artistic and creative hobbies as well. And that doesn't even cover the regular day to day things like cooking and cleaning that are becoming painful and difficult.

So yeah, I've really REALLY been feeling like a huge burden lately. Like I've been given this impossible to manage hand, and that it's been my job to shoulder the weight of it all so that I didn't make anyone else's life any harder to deal with because it wasn't their fault that my immune system was trying to kill me.

And then out of nowhere, our dear Rafayel reminded me that I wasn't meant to go through life like that. It's funny how something so simple as an otome game can remind us to check in with ourselves. And it was even more beautiful to hear it from Rafayel, who I imagine would be even more understanding as an artist himself.

So let this be a gentle reminder to you that you deserve your support network. You deserve your loved ones. You deserve your friends and your family and all the things that bring you joy. Rafayel himself said so ♡🐠

#love and deepspace #lnds #lads #l&ds #rafayel love and deepspace #rafayel #art of kay #kay's thoughts #sorry for the self indulgence i just needed it tonight

[weirdbeancurd]

In Sickness and Health- ULTRAKILL Fanfic

Can be seen as platonic or the start of something more :)

Summary: V1 and Gabriel have made a home for themselves on the Earth's surface, but are still wary of one another. Gabriel gets a cold, bringing up some not-so-fond memories of the council. V1 takes care of him, earning each other's trust in the process.

Being mortal brought on many new challenges. For one, Gabriel could no longer teleport, which sucked. He also had a newfound need for sleep and food, which took some getting used to. However, these inconveniences came with their own joys, many of which were brought on by the machine. V1 helped him realize the satisfaction of survival, to fight and claw your way out of death. And the struggle, oh the struggle. Before meeting the machine, he'd never once known hardship nor humility. Every battle was over before he had the chance to savor the fight. Each opponent was little more than a mere insect, quickly squashed beneath his heel. But the machine taught him failure: to give it your all and still not succeed. It was exhilarating, the drive, the need for overcoming an obstacle in one's path. And oh, he wanted more, but alas, his life would be cut short, severed by the council who granted him nothing but false hope. He mourned the life he would've held if he had more time. He would’ve lived for himself, white-knuckling survival and indulging in the simpler things. He could explore the surface, or admire the surviving greenery. Maybe he would've visited the machine. And so sat Gabriel, on his deathbed, grieving for a future that cannot be. But, like with so many other things, the council had lied.

He survived. It hurt like hell, don't get him wrong, but his heart stayed beating and his chest rose with every breath. After the last of the light left his body, Gabriel broke down laughing (which soon devolved into sobbing) at the sheer relief he had felt. Never had he been so grateful to be alive. And so, he did all the things he longed for. He gazed at the sunset, he counted the stars, he observed the morning dew. The surface was barren yet hauntingly beautiful, lingering memories of a society passed and the flora and fauna that arose from the ashes. Only one thing was missing: the machine.

Naturally, being the one to spark his epiphany, he sought them out. He expected the creature to be ripping apart mutant animals, not what he found instead. When Gabriel finally saw it, it was sitting peacefully on a pier, fishing rod in hand, no gore in sight. It took a certain amount of patience for a hobby like this, yet V1 seemed to like the monotony. It was a change of pace from the usual run and gun attitude it had. The way it kicked its legs while waiting was surprisingly endearing. Everything about it screamed human. And maybe he did as well. 

Ironically, their reunion started with a literal scream. V1 had suddenly whipped around, pulling the electric rail cannon from god knows where and shot him squarely in the chest. After the world stopped spinning, he managed to convince it not to slay him on the spot, and that they could have a symbiotic relationship of sorts. The machine was clearly running out of fuel (the fish it caught had too low of a blood content), and Gabriel needed to eat. Gabriel would provide the blood and V1 would fish for a meal. They started as enemies. They ended up as mutualists. Perhaps one day, they could be companions. Whatever that meant. 

It was surprisingly witty when it wanted to be, somehow conveying a variety of emotions through their body language and single optic alone. It also had a strong grasp of sarcasm, much to Gabriel's annoyance. Despite their positive qualities, Gabriel just could not get comfortable around it. If the council taught him anything, it was that vulnerability does no favors. Even before his "betrayal," they instilled in him the idea that the public cannot see him falter, lest they think of their savior as anything but perfect. He’d once worn an outfit that revealed a scar he’d gotten when he was young. The council chastised him, for the righteous hand of god should be seen as untouchable. Scars imply mistakes were made. The father does not make mistakes. Now that he had no audience (except the machine), his values held true, also for the sake of survival. Baring your neck to a predator would only encourage your demise.

And yet, here he is, in all his ill glory, far less than perfect. Currently, Gabriel feels like shit. A shiver ran through his body. Fatigue lapped at his eyes. A general feeling of unwell coursed through his veins. He must've gotten what humans called a "cold," his body was no longer immune to disease, so succumbing to illness was inevitable. He cursed his traitorous body.

Gabriel slowly got off of the couch, making his way through their base until it reached V1. A spar would do him good. It swiveled its head around to face him, seated at a desk they stole from the apartment next door, tinkering on the knuckleblaster arm.

"Machine. I was wondering if you'd like to spar."

They perked up, and he swore its eyes shone with mechanical glee. It nodded frantically. He smiled underneath his helm. That was something he admired about them: their fighting spirit. Never were they not in the mood for a friendly spar, which was great, because he needed something to do to distract him from the headache blooming within his skull. Gabriel winced when the machine’s optic shone directly in his eyes. Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea, he thought, but V1 had already gotten up to prepare for their fight. He watched them head out the door, guns in tow. His feet made steps to follow, but stopped at the doorway. The world spun sideways, vision tunneling for a second. It felt like his head was about to explode. Thankfully, after what felt like years of gripping the door frame for stability, it didn’t. He didn’t think it was this bad, nor did he expect his condition to decline so rapidly, but clearly this cold was fiercer than he thought. But Gabriel was better than this; he was above this. Nothing but combat was enough to make him falter. He was the righteous hand of- Gabriel cut himself off with a coughing fit. For a moment, the only thing that filled the silence was his labored breathing. The machine did not need to know about this. If it saw him weakened by something as miniscule as a cold, it may just put him out of his misery. Maybe it would be for the best, for what good was he if not for his fighting prowess? That’s what the council kept him for, anyways. The machine probably thought the same.

Gabriel dragged himself to their makeshift arena (more like a field), body aching as if he was already beaten ten times over. V1 came into view, enthusiastically waving to him on the other end. He was too tired to wave back. Its waving faltered, somehow radiating concern despite its lack of facial features.

“I’m fine. We can start now.” It shrugged, and paced left. He paced right, like how all their battles began, but was having trouble keeping up. Gabriel unsheathed Splendor. His practiced hands shook, tremors wracking his whole frame. With a pained grunt, he used what little strength he had to lunge at the machine. It immediately countered with the shotgun, bullets pelting him in the chest and propelling him backwards. Usually, he was able to catch himself by digging his heels into the ground, but his legs failed him. Gabriel landed on his back with a cry of pain. The corners of his vision were narrowing, tunneling once again. 

No. Nononono. He can’t show weakness, he still wants to fight, he still needs to prove himself. 

Gabriel sat up with difficulty. 

He can’t be useless.

He plants his sword in the ground, using it to wrench himself up. 

He can’t become obsolete. 

His hand slips. 

They’ll get rid of him.

He passes out. The last thing he sees before getting swallowed up by darkness is a blue figure rushing to his side.

Gabriel floats through a dreamless sleep until glimpses of the council pull in his attention. They tower over him while trembling with shame.

“This thing dares to squander the might of the father?” They say. “Heresy. Unspeakable. Heresy.” 

Their words are like stakes to the heart. His eyes anxiously flit around, peering at each of the council members. Their eyes betray nothing but disgust. He tries to defend himself, to assure them he means no disrespect to the father, but they shoot him down like the machine did moments before. Gabriel shuts his eyes just in time to feel the light being ripped from his body. His vessel is on fire, every nerve in agony. His voice is hoarse from screaming and his wings beat on the ground as if it’ll help soothe his screeching nerves. Before he can even catch his breath, everything goes white.

Gabriel wakes up in a cold sweat, matting his hair to his forehead. He jolts forward and nearly loses consciousness again.  A chilled hand presses to his chest, preventing him from getting up. After a few moments of shallow breathing, he takes in his surroundings. He’s laying on the couch in only his tunics, his armor presumably in another room. Luckily, his helmet is still on. V1 is kneeling at the base of the couch with concern in its “eye.” 

“What… What happened?”

V1 moves its hands to sign. You passed out. Took off your armor. More comfortable. He suddenly notices the warmth under his skin, burning from within. Gabriel sighs. He has a fever. The motion of the machine’s arms grabs his attention. Are you okay?

What? Of course he’s okay. He’s more than okay, he is- was the righteous hand of the father! Gabriel could feel the panic building up, anxieties pooling at his feet. 

“I’m fine. I just tripped, that’s all.” The top half of V1’s optic flickered off,  giving the impression it was skeptical. 

“Really! It’s-” He cut himself off with another coughing fit. V1 pats him on the shoulder. He’s not exactly doing the best imitation of a healthy person at the moment. Some miserable panting later, Gabriel tries again. This time, he’s cut off by the machine holding its hand out as a sign to stop.

You are not okay, it signs. He begins to argue, to defend himself from these allegations that mean so much to him: his pride, his prowess, his own safety. V1 doesn’t let him finish. -And that’s okay.

For a moment, he is truly speechless. What does it mean, that’s okay? It isn’t, if he’s weak, there would be no use of him to the machine. Why would it care? And so he asks.

“...Why?” It seems V1 is having trouble getting its words out, too. It keeps positioning its hands to start signing and then lowering them to think of how to phrase its thoughts. 

At the start of their… symbiosis, it felt like it was just a parasite, gorging itself on his blood when need be. But as their relationship grew, it began to enjoy his company. It fished for food, Gabriel thanked it. Gabriel allowed himself to be fed on, but it always asked. It felt content when it was around him. It couldn’t imagine life without him. No longer was it just a leech, but… a friend? If Gabriel would let it call him that. It basically ruined his life, after all.

You make me happy. I want you to be happy, too. And healthy. There. That would suffice. Gabriel, on the other hand, was having a crisis, and the pounding in his head definitely wasn’t helping. Near delirious, he just could not wrap his fever-ridden head around what it was saying. The concept of genuine care just fell through his grasp.

“I don’t understand. If it’s a spar you want, I’ll be in working shape soon enough. In fact, I’ll-” Not what I meant. You’re more than just a weapon, you know. We both are. 

Oh. Its words pierced his cold exterior, coating his insides in sun-warmed honey. It was reassurance long due; in all his millennias, he was nothing but a tool, a means to an end. But with the machine? Maybe he was more. They both are, it said. Gabriel could feel his eyes begin to burn with stubbornly unshed tears. He took a shaky breath before speaking.

“I believe I owe you an explanation.” V1 cocked its head. “You’ve probably known this already, but I’ll have you know the council wasn’t exactly kind to me.” He glanced at the floor, fidgeting with his hands. “They despised weakness, specifically mine. The righteous hand of the father should not falter, after all.” V1 looked on with sympathy. “Any sign of vulnerability was a punishable offense. And their punishments were not to be taken lightly.” He shuddered. V1 placed their hand atop Gabriel's. His skin burned where their hands made contact, despite V1’s being cool metal. The tears were becoming harder to hold back.

You are very strong, physically, emotionally and more. He sucked in a shuddering breath through his teeth. But you don’t always have to be. Not anymore. The dam broke. Gabriel let out a gut wrenching sob, then another. His shoulders shook with every hiccuping wail, pent up from eons of emotional suppression. The hand that rested atop his reached over him and encased him in a hug, causing him to gasp. With the little energy he had left, Gabriel hugs them back, pressing his face into the crook of their neck. He didn’t deserve this, why was it being so nice to him? There was nothing it could get out of it! As if reading his thoughts, V1 brought its hands up to sign once more.

I’m not going to use you. Not like they did. Friends look out for each other, especially when they aren’t feeling their best. Gabriel nuzzled his face further into V1’s shoulder. Hm, friends. He liked the sound of that.

Im not sure if I like the ending, so I might repost this with edits later.

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #ultrakill fanfic

[bodyswappertransforming]

Evan

Evan, a 19-year-old boy, found himself caught in the throes of frustration. Life, with its unyielding pressures and expectations, seemed like an insurmountable mountain. He longed for the wisdom, stability, and respect he believed only years could bring. One evening, overwhelmed by his thoughts, he wished aloud, "If only I could wake up at 50, all these problems would be behind me."

The universe, in its mysterious ways, decided to grant Evan's wish. The next morning, Evan awoke to a reality that was both his dream and his unforeseen nightmare. He was indeed 50, but not at all prepared for what that meant.

**The Transformation**

Evan's initial moments were of disbelief. His reflection revealed a man with lines mapping stories on his face, hair that had surrendered its youthful color to the sands of time, and eyes that held a depth born of experiences he had not lived. His body felt different too—strong yet marked by the inevitable wear of years. His room, his home, even the world outside seemed alien, filled with technologies and changes that two decades had ushered in without his witnessing.

As he ventured out, he realized that while he had aged, the world around him had evolved too. Friends and family were not as he remembered; relationships had evolved or dissolved, leaving him to navigate a labyrinth of social dynamics that were now foreign to him. Professional achievements, which he had assumed would come with time, felt hollow without the journey of hard work and passion.

**The Acceptance**

The initial thrill of bypassing life's immediate challenges soon gave way to a profound sense of loss. Evan had skipped over three decades, missing milestones, love, failures, and the simple joy of living. The wisdom he thought would be granted with age was, he realized, not a product of time alone but of lived experiences.

In this new reality, Evan began to seek out those experiences with a renewed perspective. He started to build genuine connections, not just based on shared history but on the person he was now. He found joy in learning—technologies that were new to him, skills that he had never considered, and hobbies that bridged the gap between his physical age and his youthful spirit.

Evan's journey of acceptance was not just about making peace with his new age but understanding the value of every moment lived. He engaged with life with a vigor that combined the enthusiasm of his youth with the maturity of his new age. He mentored, loved, and lived with the knowledge that life, in all its phases, holds unique lessons and joys.

**The Realization**

Evan came to realize that age, whether 19 or 50, is not a remedy for life's challenges but a canvas upon which one paints their story. The wisdom he sought was always within him, waiting not for time but for recognition and acceptance.

In time, Evan no longer saw his transformation as a curse but as a unique blessing. It taught him the importance of patience, the value of experiences, and the beauty of aging. Life, he understood, is not about reaching a certain age but about embracing the journey, with all its twists and turns, with a heart full of courage and a spirit that never ages.

Evan's story is a testament to the idea that while we may wish for shortcuts in life, it is the living, learning, and loving through each moment that truly defines us.

#bodyswap #age progression #mental change #male transformation

[uupdirector]

The Eve Cometh Again

"Another day, another Christmas" is what I would be saying if I hadn't been doing all I could to bring my life to a point where I'm not only working hard at bringing the best possible life for myself, but also slowly but surely regaining the love I had for all the hobbies that kept me sound enough to enjoy said life. It's been a long journey to reach this point, and while I'm still fairly nervous about what the future beholds, I'm not going to let that hold me back on reaching the goals I have laid out for me. There's far more excitement than anxiousness, and sometimes I have to tell myself that so I don't end up getting pulled back into the gutter, but it's because of that excitement that I'm fairly happy this Christmastime.

I have something big planned not just for myself, but to everyone that's continued to see my journey and enjoy all the stories and goofs I've had to share. But today, I want to take the time to provide some letter-like notes to a few of my closest friends that have continued to help me smile over the years.

Let's start with my chums from the Joy Charged Gamerz Crew - first of all, sorry again for not being active on the channel this year xD I know the channel is meant to be more laid back and should only be obliged when we feel comfortable enough to do so. It doesn't change the fact that even now, I'm forever thankful to have been granted the opportunity to not only help and see the channel grow, but also create some fantastic memories with great friends. With the new year on the horizon, I hope we get the chance to create some more memories, and since I've been taking some time to play more games again, I hope that this spark will give me the chance to continue charging others with joy. Merry Christmas, lads, and love ya'll 💛

To many of the new friends that I've had the joy of hanging with a TON this year - @soybeanzoffical, @onyxcolonyart, Slime Guy/mrmendezgamer1, Rambles, Namor, @sparxsiris, Nate, @rubyshimmer0x, and many others, thank you all for being a supportive bunch of lads. Even though we've had a lot of bullying escapades in the past year, I can look back and get a little chuckle out of 'em x3 Much love to ya'll, and here's to another year of my dumbass shenanigans! Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays, buds :'3 🩷

To one of my good buds in animation, TheInvertedShadow (@asktheshadows), I know we've not spent as much time together, and we've both been going through our own fair share of down moments, but I just wanna leave another reminder for ya; you are always loved and cared for by thousands - if not millions of people, and as one of them, I'm glad to have seen your talent grow since I first laid eyes on your EoI video 10 years back. And if I knew we were going to be a chaotic duo of friendship back then, I'd probably call myself crazy xD But to be serious - you've always been such a supportive friend since we first spoke together back in 2016, and for that, I can't thank you enough, and I'm happy to call ya one of my best friends. Thank you so much for all the great memories, and here's to many more in the future - we both got a lot ahead of us, for sure ;) Merry Christmas, lad ❤️

And speaking of which, to another one of my best buds; Will Ryan (DAGames). Man - what a year it's been, hasn't it? Since the start, you've been constantly moving yourself up higher and higher, and being along with ya for the ride has been nothing short of a blast. I'm legitimately proud of you for all the accomplishments you've made - from the release of HOAA:R (btw to everyone else, bls stream Castle that Burns, kthxbai xD ), the launch of Solitude: Subject Placement, and all the conventions you attended. On that note, it was fucking amazing to be able to see ya again at MomoCon this year, and not just for a day, at that! The experience itself was already amazing as it was, but to be able to hang out with you, the crew, and some of our other friends was probably one of the best memories from this year. I still get choked up thinking back to the concert when Living Life Without The Cord and Gold: SSD played, and I'm so happy that it turned out so well. I know the year hasn't come without it's downsides either, but the fact you persevered regardless and brought some great times with it is something you can't knock. On that note, I also have my own share of thanks to give. I'm wholeheartedly grateful of all the support you've given me during the production of Scarlet Combine leading up to the launch of Storm Before The Calm. To be in a similar pair of shoes that you've worn, it's given me some semblance to the feelings and experiences you've had when you first released HOAA. It can't entirely be compared - that much I know, but to have made something of this calibur has shown me that the work of an artist of any kind isn't to be taken lightly, and while I too wish there were things I could have done better with my album, it doesn't change the fact that I'm proud to have made it possible regardless, and I have you to thank as one of my pillars of inspiration. And even though we may not have had the same experiences with our projects, one thing I can say is that it's helped me understand enough to have your back even more than I have before. It may be difficult to push out the negative thoughts that came from releasing Resurrection, but once you understand the obstacles in your Pursuit of Hope are meant to guide you to the joy you're seeking, it all comes slightly more naturally. I haven't given up on my own pursuit, so don't give up on yours. Thank you for everything, Will, and I love ya to fuckin bits. Merry Christmas, bud 💚

Now, to all the fans that have kept up with my bullshit for so long (sorry by the way xD ), thank you all for being so supportive and patient with me as I work towards the new year - a lot has been on my mind during this long break, and thankfully I'm pushing ever closer to a brighter end where I can be happy with the things I've enjoyed doing for years. There's a lot to look forward to, and I can't wait to talk about some of it when the Resolution of 2024 rolls in on January 15th. I love you all, and I hope you all enjoy the holiday season leading up to the new year.💙

And finally, I have one last person I'd like to speak to; my love, @aspennightray (Shut up, I know it's gay xDD). Words can't express how happy I am to have you in my life. I know this year has had it's struggles for the both of us, and I know that my dumbassery has caused its fair share of frustration with you in fixing some of those things, but this year has also brought some great memories as well. When we first met face-to-face for MomoCon, it was admittedly weird to continue from there like it was just another Discord call, but if anything, it helped make the transition to our time spent in the following 2 weeks all the more comfortable. I won't beat around the bush, but that was by far the best time of my life in such a long while, and has made me confident enough that you are the one I want to be with. While there's been quite a few potholes making the journey to that point fairly difficult, I still haven't given up yet, and I don't plan to anytime soon. You've done so much for me in the past year we've been together for, and while I know many of them were things I could have done myself or many other friends could have done for me, but I suppose it just has more meaning to me knowing it comes from you, especially with how much it's helped me get off my ass and take care of myself. Despite the tail end of this year feeling a bit off for a multitude of reasons, none of that overshadows the fact that it's been an amazing one, and i can't thank you enough for it. I also can't thank you enough for all you've done to bring my ideas to life - no matter how beautiful they've turned out (and they certainly ARE beautiful <3 ), none of that matters as much as the fact that you made it possible. Sure, they may have been "jobs" at the end of the day, but your fascination, interest, and support for Scarlet Combine has been a core spark in ensuring that I completed it, and that means so much to me. Despite the jokes, bullying, and a few moments of irritation, I know you've always believed in my ability to create this new world of mine, and though it will take a good while before I continue it again, I'm excited for what we'll do with it together. Thank you so much for everything, hon, and I hope this Christmas turns out well for you. Even if it doesn't, know that I'll still be here to help make it just a little bit brighter. I love you so much 💜

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and here's to an even Happier New Year to you all 🎄

#director brian #christmas #christmas eve #letters #Thank you all for an amazing year <3

[only-mostlydead]

Hello. Today is my 30th birthday, and I am in bed recovering from surgery. To entertain myself, I wrote up a list of 30 things I'm glad I learned before I turned 30, and now I'm sharing it with you. Take what resonates, leave what doesn't.

30 Things I'm Glad I Learned Before I Turned 30

You can decline to be weighed at the doctor's office. Seriously. Unless they're dosing meds or need to report it to your insurance for something, you can say no thanks. And if they have to weigh you, you can request that they don't tell you the number.

Fed is better than not fed. There are days when my stomach won't tolerate anything except cheese puffs, so I eat the damn cheese puffs, without judgment. Feed yourself the best you can, and know that this will look different every day

Eventually, people will always tell you who they really are. Believe them the first time (this one comes from my mom).

Not living up to family expectations is very often a good thing. Your life needs to make you happy. You are your own person with no obligation to be what they want you to be.

Having a creative hobby that you're not "good" at is important. For me, it's watercolors. I do them because they bring me joy, not because I'm trying to be good at them. That's not to say that I don't love what I paint - I do. But there's no pressure for it to be anything other than fun.

Your job doesn't have to be fulfilling - it can just be a fundraiser for the things in your life that do bring you fulfillment.

Mental health is every bit as important as physical health. Don't neglect either.

When you have nothing to be sorry for, say thank you instead. Thank you for listening instead of sorry I bothered you, thank you for helping me instead of sorry I needed help. I'm not always good at this one.

Throw away the clothing with holes. You deserve clothing that doesn't have holes.

Your clothes are meant to fit you, not the other way around. Your body is the thing that carries you through your life. Clothes that don't fit are just scraps of fabric who aren't meeting their performance goals.

Everything is figure out-able. This one also comes from my mom.

Laziness doesn't really exist; it's almost always a response to something else (burnout, low self-esteem, etc).

Being your most authentic self is scary. It's also 100% worth it. Life has gotten better every time I've been even a tiny bit more myself.

There is no timetable for when you should hit certain milestones. You are not behind. You are on your own time.

Femininity means whatever I want it to mean, not what society tells me it means. Everything I do is feminine because I say it is, and no one can tell me otherwise.

Your job doesn't care about you. If you disappeared from the face of the earth, they would replace you immediately. You should bring them the same energy. You're the only one who will look out for you.

Use your PTO. Every damn second of it. When I started my current job, I was told that no one used all of their time off. I do. Every year.

Dieting literally does not work. Scientifically. Reading up on the Minnesota Starvation Experiment, Famine Response, and why BMI is literally sexist, racist bullshit changed my life.

Doctors might be experts in their respective fields, but they are not experts in what it's like to live in your body. Whenever possible, find one who makes you an active participant in your care plan.

Wear whatever the hell you want. Life is too short to worry what other people will think.

Live theatre, good meals, and beautiful tattoos are always worth the money.

Anger isn't inherently bad. Most of the time, it's your signal that something is wrong. This is the most impactful thing my therapist ever taught me as an ex-vangelical who grew up hearing that anger was a sin.

Don't put down the things that bring others joy. If they're not hurting you, themself, or anyone else, why waste your energy?

You cannot miss out on the things that are meant for you. If you miss it, it wasn't meant for you, and you should probably be grateful you missed it.

If I'm too much, go find less.

You are always responsible for your actions. Diagnoses, negative life experiences, and the like might explain bad behavior, but it doesn't excuse it. You are responsible for you.

Your feelings are always valid, but they are not always correct.

Go outside. Every day if you can. Even if it's for 30 seconds. Go get some fresh air on your face and look at a tree. If you can't make it outside, open a window, even just for a minute. Your brain will thank you.

You can leave. Hate the fitness class? Leave. Party too loud? Leave. Doctor not listening? L e a v e. As the famous tumblr post goes, if it sucks, hit da bricks!

You need nothing days. Days where you intentionally do absolutely nothing and feel zero guilt for that. Sit in bed, binge a Netflix show, eat some snacks, and don't think about all the things you're not doing. Let yourself rest, dammit.

#30th post

[zinzabee]

How do Leo, Donnie, and Mikey feel exactly towards Sharron?

Okay, firstly, I am SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER OMG T~T ...This is such a great question I wanted to make sure I drew stuff for it to go with the explanations. But I never got around to like, cleaning up the sketches I did to look nice and clean, and I got buried in so much other stuff that I dont think I'll ever get around to it. So I'm just gonna include the raw sketches, I'm so sorry! ;n;

LEO

Leo has a lot of respect and admiration for Sharron, and this comes from the fact that the first time they met, she literally gave him and Mikey (who were two complete stranger to her at the time) her mother's cloaking necklace in order for them to save Raph & Donnie. That kind of trust and good-hearted nature made Leo come to like Ronnie right off the bat. This...however, also meant that he was a little too eager to play matchmaker for her and Raph when they started hanging out more. But once Raph put his foot down, Leo backed off, and he and Sharron became great friends.

As he often does with the people he cares about, Leo likes to tease Sharron a lot and will take any opportunity he can to pull silly little pranks on her, just because of the fact that she's gullible enough to fall for them. She takes them in good stride though, and will get him back at a ratio of...probably 5:1 I'd say. One of Leo's favorite things to do is call her "Sherry" when she least expects it, because she tends to have a knee-jerk reaction to the nickname. She absolutely hates it, and he knows that. She would never actually hurt him over it, but she does fake out punches or push him over or light heartedly threaten him every time he does it.

DONNIE

Unlike the rest of the brothers, who came to like Sharron right away, Donnie took some time getting used to her. Not to say he hated her or anything, but meeting someone new and having a change in atmosphere with her around took time for Donnie to get comfortable with. He wasn't instant buddy-buddy with her like the other were, and Sharron didn't take it personally.

Eventually, once Donnie did warm up to her, they formed their own unique relationship. Since Sharron lives down in the Hidden City, he'll ask her to be his guide when he wants to sneak down and buy up merchandise he can only acquire there. She enjoyed showing him around and keeping him company while running errands. Sometimes they even get lunch. (Dee reminds her a lot of her own younger brother, Trevor, who's also a big geek interested in STEM.) Additionally, Donnie will often ask Sharron to "test" some of his new equipment as he upgrades it. Sharron has teeth, claws, and high animal instinct, so getting her to demolish a prototype in order to test durability is very helpful.

MIKEY

Out of the three, its safe to say that Mikey is the one who bonded with Sharron the quickest. Mikey was also there when Sharron gave them the necklace at first meeting, so he instantly liked and trusted her, same as Leo did. When he found out that she was into sewing & music as hobbies, he begged her to do collabs with him, which she was more than happy to agree to.

Sharron works a full time job in the Hidden City, so their projects aren't anything too elaborate. It's all for fun and the joy of creative process rather than rushing to finish. Everyone loves when Sharron bring her guitar when she visits the lair, but Mikey especially loves performing with her, freestyling lyrics while they dance around together. Mikey also treats Sharron in a similar manner that he treats Raph; in that he likes to climb on her back or cling to her in scary situations. While Ronnie doesn't normally like to manhandle others normally (out of common courtesy, of course), once Mikey gives her permission to, she is more likely to be seen throwing him over her shoulder to carry him, or picking him up by his shell and whatnot. She doesn't do this with the others though, only Mikey, because he told her she could.

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt oc #rottmnt yokai #yokai oc #sharron tatopoulos #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt michelangelo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt leo #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt doodles #doodles #traditional #asks #thank you for this ask btw! #dinomight duo

[accio-victuuri]

The 95% verdict 💌 + commentary

since it’s 9/5, this will be the perfect opportunity to share some more details on the whole 95% story. @potteresque-ire already detailed it here but i wanna focus on the actual verdict. It’s so interesting how most of it sounds true, and the fact that this was shared back in 2018 when no one had any behind the scenes photos, videos or interviews to reference.

I am not really a 100% believer in stuff like this but I have to admit that sometimes it has some truth to it. It’s not hurting anyone either to read what these people have to say and get some direction / insight into things.

Here goes the details of that reading between ZZ/WYB 😌 It’s not just the 95% calculation, there was a whole reading between them.

There is light, harmony, and joy in this relationship, and both parties benefit from it. The comfort of the soul is very conducive to the development of intimate relationships. You may not want to please each other freely, enjoy each other's company, but deep inside have a deep love for each other. If you live together, you will often have good family atmosphere, with both comfort and beauty. They satisfy each other, need each other, depend on each other and can be happy because of each other's existence.

As soon as I read this first part, I knew I had to make a CPN post. The thing about both parties benefiting is so true! Never mind what haters say that they “use each other” ( lol. I mean it’s partly right but without the negative connotation ) They really do benefit from being together, even as friends, they both bring out the best in e/o. Also the part about having a deep love even if they don’t show it sounds so much like 2018 ZZ/WYB. All the play fights and interactions we saw that make us roll our eyes cause they keep dancing around the fact that they are meant to be together. Finally, that bit about their home life. Ugh. I love domestic ZZ/WYB, and I’ve talked about that here. From cooking/washing to folding clothes and everything in between.

This may be a romantic experience that is called “at first sight”. The possibility of love also means that you may establish a relationship like lightning. You may meet in some unusual situations or situations with strong the feeling of electric shock. It may be a time that makes each other highly excited and your relationship may also be unconventional or unusual. Yes, the way of getting along is often not the usual way, Xiao Zhan will be satisfied with Wang Yibo. The passion, freedom and new world brought by Bo have gained a lot from each other. You are also suitable for developing some unusual hobbies, such as astrology, science, occultism, ultra-modern art, etc. In addition, the more independent your minds are in this relationship, the higher the rapport will be, both can develop into like-minded good partners.

The whole at first sight prediction is giving me goosebumps. Only because this is what a lot of us have said. granted, they met in 2017 so the person making this reading might have taken some clue into that. However, this line : Xiao Zhan will be satisfied with Wang Yibo. Wait, satisfied? Satisfaction. Isn’t that ZZ’s solo song? How come. This reading was made 9/1/2018 and that song name wasn’t even out yet. Also the way it says ZZ will be the one satisfied and not the other way around. I also wanna know what unusual habits they developed because of their relationship. 🙃

There is a strong attraction between you, and even a sense of fate. Xiao Zhan - The appearance of Wang Yibo made him passionate, profound and full of desire. However, the relationship between you may not necessarily have too much relaxation, romance and comfort. pleasure, and more emphasis on strong emotions, complex experiences, overly obsessive— even a certain danger because of the fear of betrayal. In this relationship, Xiao Zhan needs to look directly at his inner demands, learn to give Wang Yibo trust and give himself a sense of security, otherwise it will be easy to have the feeling of being controlled and dominated by Wang Yibo. Maybe when love is too deep, it feels like that life is in the hands of the other party, I am even more afraid of being hurt. please remember, only trust can save the relationship from crisis and realize new life. If it is business partnership, when trust is established, you will dig out the hidden wealth and achieve win-win benefits.

and now we have come to a bit more controversial part of the reading. Do I believe that ZZ/WYB’s relationship is full of sunshine and rainbows? Of course not. I can only imagine what it must be like for them in the beginning. The uncertainty of it. Strong attraction? Fate? Definitely. and oh I love the bit here about Bobo making ZZ passionate. Yes. He definitely had that change in him when he met the gremlin and especially when they are together. Remember that this is only a reading, what is said about ZZ is here and the advice is not a fact. I wanna believe over time, as in any other relationships, they have found a balance that works for them.

The highlight of this relationship is the connection and communication that you have. In the future, Xiao Zhan can intuitively understand Wang Yibo's thoughts and intentions and produce greater emotional fluctuations. Wang Yibo is very willing to put his thoughts and express it clearly to Xiao Zhan and give Xiao Zhan good advice. In a sentence: It is not uncommon to meet love and sex in life, but the strange thing is encounter understanding.

I like this part because it talks about the future and how their relationship became what it is today. Well, as soon the 2019 promos we can already see this understanding between them. The intuitive way they communicate. This is scarily accurate. I also like how WYB is supposedly expressing himself clearly to ZZ — knowing how WYB is most of the time, quiet, it makes me somft thinking he made the effort because he wants to reach an understanding with his zhan ge.

It can be said that meeting TA is the most comfortable way to get along and the most gentle companion. Xiao Zhan will feel full of joy, the feeling of being appreciated and accepted,Also enjoy the way Wang Yibo sees himself. Wang Yibo speaks from the heart. I love Xiao Zhan's way of doing things and behavior, never stingy with his own compliment. The two can be more considerate, tolerant, and respectful to each other. Live in harmony, enjoy the intimacy and sharing with each other.

When it comes to emotional patterns, you have strong similarities. This includes similarities in psychological feelings and emotional fluctuations, the inner need for a sense of security. Together, we can always understand each other's thoughts. The needs of the other party, full of deep tacit understanding and dependence, can do spiritual communication. It is very beneficial to a long-lasting, stable relationship.

A stable relationship. BXGs like to say this when it comes to them and I wanna believe that this is true. It does not mean they don’t have problems — they do, but they work it out. You can feel the sense of calm in when you watch them and that happiness. It affects and shows in everything they do. I hope it continues and they can live peacefully. 😊

Again, this is not an avenue to aggressively speculate about their relationship/dynamics. The purpose of this post is to share more of the 95% story and why it’s such a popular part of fandom history.

- END.

#yizhan #bjyx #all of this is cpn

[utopiastrology]

Jupiter transits through the houses - part 1

For this series, look at the period of time when Jupiter is actually transiting that house in your chart, as opposed to just when it’s changing signs. 

These transits are meant to highlight areas of growth in your life, ways in which you can utilise Jupiter to bring forth opportunities, fortune and help, to find completion and fulfillment in life.

Jupiter transit 1st house: this is truly the time to reinvent yourself. You might feel like a bit of a newborn, new uncharted paths laid out before you, none of them necessarily easy or straightforward. You could be trying out multiple routines, hobbies, job paths, even friendship groups, whatever relates to how you define yourself is susceptible to be changed, thrown out, upgraded. It can be both fun and challenging, so now you must learn to embrace the discomfort and uncertainty of starting over and eventually find some discipline to ground you through it all. You could also be very focused on your head/face and changing your beauty regimen. It is a time to experiment, find out what you want, and what you will put your own spotlight on for the next cycle of Jupiter.

Jupiter transit 2nd house: get ready to find out new ways to make money, earn your place in the world and find your self worth. Whatever opportunity is the right size for how much you can handle and how you see yourself, Jupiter will provide it to you at this time. What you set your sight on during Jupiter in the 1st, will be granted during Jupiter in the 2nd - or at least, the first real, significant step towards those goals will come to pass. Your level of self esteem is the key to getting what you want. Put yourself in situations that give you a boost of confidence to bring forth those opportunities, and ask for help when you need it. You could be motivated to work extremely hard, and that will bear its fruits. 

Jupiter transit 3rd house: the world is asking you to communicate. Keepings things in and repressing who you are is just not the move. You will feel compelled to start letting people know what you truly think and feel, and the toothpaste just can’t go back into the tube - which does not mean communication has to be violent at all, just more honest, more adult. In this process, Jupiter will also gift you with diplomacy and encourage you to further grow your vocabulary and open your mind up to new ways of thinking and relating to people. You might want to take some short trips but it’s frankly not that relevant. 

Jupiter transit 4th house: one of my favorites, I must say. This Jupiter will want to give you building blocks of inner security, a foundation to your own personal cathedral if you will, the edifice of your future joy and success...by making you appreciate the present, and its unbound creative potential. The IC is a very underrated, complex and profound part of your chart. The 10th provides what you expected to get, what you consciously strive for and the persona you can use in front of the world; the 4th house gives you what you never even thought you were capable of, or even thought to desire in the first place. Thus the IC gives you back to yourself and the vastness that’s inside of you, not outside. The 4th house shows your Potential, and Jupiter loves being in that motivational speaker role. This is the placement that reminds you to no longer strive so hard; to listen to your inner voice and receive with ease, but without expectation. A lot of people going through this will see an improvement or a smoothing of their relationships with the people they see as a their innermost circle, be it close relatives or friends. For fewer people it also means an uptick in romantic action and prospects  - Cancer / 4th house energy is an emotionally magnetic energy and it works in harmony with Jupiter. 

#Jupiter transits #jupiter through the houses #Jupiter transit 1st house #Jupiter transit 2nd house #Jupiter transit 3rd house #Jupiter transit 4th house

[thewickedkat]

when i started watching GBBO during the early days of the pandemic (like so many other people) i immediately fell in love with it against my will. it was heartwarming to find this little show where amateur bakers stretched out of their comfort zones and helped each other and learnt new things and challenged themselves. everyone was nice. everyone was lovely. it was a fantastic break from American 'reality' shows.

but somewhere along the line it...stopped being that? it stopped being about 'hey i had this creative idea i wanted to try, new flavours i haven't worked with, i hope it's agreeable' and started being about 'oh Prue likes booze, let's gin this up,' or 'Paul doesn't like matcha, that's a no-go.' it became about tailoring their bakes to what the judges might give higher marks for...in whatever Byzantine fucking system those two have; honestly it's so confusing that even when a baker follows a brief to the letter it boils down to the judges' aesthetics.

Mary Berry was at least willing to try new things, if the baker followed the brief. and she always gave encouragement, never dismissive the way Prue is turning out to be (honestly i think Prue genuinely believes that spices are meant to be in little jars on a rack so they can be admired from afar, bah).

Paul was always a wanker but when i first started watching i was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because he was upfront about shit not being cooked all the way through, or why something didn't pass his criteria. now his fame has gone to his head, with everyone vying for his stupid goddam handshake. why? the man tears into bread like a rabid hyena whilst swearing he is an 'expert' on bread (i want to see his fucking bread degree) and just insults someone smugly. he is no help at all. if he stepped into my kitchen to evaluate bread i was baking i would wield a wooden spoon about his head and shoulders mercilessly with all the fury of a Tasmanian devil.

Noel is fine. love Noel. Matt? eh, bit of a lump. miss Mel and Sue though, really. Sandy was cute and i loved her cheekiness.

to say nothing of the cultural insensitivity of the past couple seasons (Mexican week made me cringe into my sofa), the challenges are growing so ridiculous as to be a pastiche of what GBBO used to be. ice creams! ice creams were a challenge! i don't care if it's during Custard Week, the only baked thingy was a waffle cone! no! fuck off! it ain't called the Great British Ice Cream Social!

the show's staff--and sure as shit the judges--seem to forget that these people are amateurs. they love baking, it is a beloved hobby for them. it's something that brings them joy and gives them fulfillment, and every time i hear someone say 'there's no excuse for lack of perfection' or some such bullshit i want to eat Paul and Prue's hearts in the marketplace.

this is the first season where i genuinely feel that the bakers aren't having fun. and that's fucking sad.

#gbbo