#it’s weird to be rlly tired but also like

[autistic-katara]

me: dude im not even feeling that tired rn and haven’t for ages oh no oh fuck im probably accidentally faking my disability-

my chronic fatigue, loading ammunition into a massive fucking cannon: damn really bro?

#been so tired these past like 2 days #like not regular gotta lie down tired nah #like i don’t have the energy to do basically anything tired #and again i don’t mean like idk i can’t wash the dishes cause idk i’m sleepy or whatever #i mean like i physically can’t do or say like double the amount i normally can’t #like i’ll know how to do smthn or what to say clearly in my head but i just don’t have the energy to get it out if that makes sense #and that’s not like all of it but it’s one of the worst parts (at least rn) #like i feel like i’m actually going insane cause of this it’s just rlly weird #idek i am also like i gotta lie down most of the day tired #but it’s not that strong idk #this is turning into kinda a vent idk #but it’s fine to rb the actual post is fine #chronically ill #chronic fatigue #disabled

[absurdumsid]

HI SILLY CREATURES ON MY PHONE !! GOOD EVENING !?!!! IM BACK IT WAS FUN IM SORRY I COULDNT BLOG DURING IT (I WAS BUSY.... UM. ADMIRING SOMEONE TEEHEE) ANYWAY !! I WILL PWRHPAS DRAW TOMORROW !?!?!!!!

thats from my calmer playlist lmao i just realised i rarely post songs from those playlists

#was actually very overstimmed at one point and started yelling randomly ermmmmm. that was weird. anyway #had FUN actually it was very fun #surprisingly #sid rambles #wouldnt do it again but that was fun !!!! #the finding out two of my friends had gifts for their dance partners was so very funny to me we just all Had Something to give em #<- mind u two of us have crushes on our dance partners (the other one im not sure hes rlly vague abt it lmao) #so that was fun !! #we all like figured out our own times to give em #I WAS GIVEN. THE OPPORTUNITY TO HELP HER WEAR IT (my gift was a necklace !! insanity) #also we took pictures together #maybe ill show em #but i will be censoring them #maybeeee tomorrow. im tired #and hungry #why am i hungry #probably because im tired #sorry for pining on main #<- implied + tags are very much just me pining #look its not my fault shes pretty. and shakes from performance anxiety. and is so much taller than me. an #ok #too much maybe yea ok yep mhmmm #gnight silly creatures thats all the pining for tonighfhfbcndnd

[clarabowmp3]

omg also I have so much tea (?) to spill online cuz I can’t do it irl 😭😭😭

#okay SO #i have this long time friend from sec school #Like we’ve known each other 6+ years now and she’s rlly nice and fun #We were much closer abt 4-5 years back when we were in the same class #But other than that we were still kind of close cuz we stay like a block from each other + we shared a class all 4 years of sec school #So now that we’ve graduated from jc we went out etc and and it’s been so fun BUT #she met this guy on discord thru a server and they had/are still having some weird situationship thing #And at first I didn’t mind her telling me abt it etc but I mighttt be a lil tired of hearing abt it #I FEEL SO BAD she’s literally done nothing wrong but idk how to express how im feeling w/out seeming like im NOT 100% supportive of her yk #Like she also had a pick me phase (we were 14 when ELSE were we going to have that phase) and has always struggled a lil w emptions/affecti #Part of which has to do w her parents so also understandable #But I find myself feeling soooo annoyed now #Like recently she texted me that she texted him that she was taking a sm break which was true but now she misses him #And she was like omg I want to turn off my feelings 😭😭😭 #It makes me feel JSNXKLDLS girllll what r u doing #grow a backbone?? #Maybe it’s also cuz I totally don’t understand what she sees in that guy #Omg I could make a whole other post abt how MEDIOCRE he is jkskdn #but atp im starting to miss her pick me era 😭😭😭 and I feel SO BAD it’s smth I’ve had all my life #I will dislike ppl who I find annoying even when they literally did nothing and are living their best life #KILL ME #it’s okay I’m so normal abt this hehe

[tatonslice]

uhh sergey saturday sunday its uh. its basically midnight have some ego doodles

yeah the last 3 are just ruina ego sorry its because i have a hypothetical realization lineup for him. knight of despair isnt on it but i still think it fits him anyway. the full lineup is skin prophecy - notes from a crazed researcher - schadenfreude - nameless fetus - CENSORED (oh hey its the two with the roulette)

none of them actually are in ruina so i have to draw the ego myself. outfit design was never my strong suit :(

#SORRY FOR NONSENSE RAMBLING OUTSIDE OF THE TAGS #drawing the fairy sludge is weirdly fun. love sludge. #i drew sloshing cause it reminded me of how i drew syrinx. #sludge saturday or whatever #should i like cw something here hes like. bleeding #i actually dont rlly do it often but wegh schadenfreudes whole thing is weird eye contact so #cw eye contact #you can also. ask to tag if youd like #Im a bit scared uwfuhdsgjgjdfdfksadfkdhgfjnldsgfkhedfld.h #its like midnight im tired #lobotomy corporation #lobcorp #lobotomy corporation oc #lobcorp oc #i dont rlly want to tag this for like. ruina even though the kod outfit is from it. wegh #taton's art #taton's oc tag

[kavehater]

I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness

#There’s this specific part of the song #It srsly alters my brain chemistry #Anyways #i hate tumblr sm #Idk like I Gen hate being on here sm #No matter what account I make no matter if I tell ppl about it whether I don’t tell ppl I just hate this place soooo much #Like if I have a following it sucks because it’s rlly lonely if I don’t it’s still lonely and then if there’s nobody at all it’s lonely #Loneliness is what got me to discord boy so like :D #The fact I am genuinely missing him sm I’m gonna krill myself 😻🙏 #Also I think I hate talking to minors cause these kids be letting themselves get groomed all the time I’m so tired of seeing it #The creep in my course is being so weird to Raisa who is a minor … I can’t help but think it’s all my fault … I invited her to the pharm gc #To show her how messy it was …. #I didn’t expect her to follow and accept requests of everyone … #Anyways I just am so annoyed. Like I wish I could have one person just one where I can be confident in being their no.1 but every time I th #Think I’m maybe somewhere high up on someone’s list of important ppl I realise I overestimated my position even tho I’m rlly self conscious #And being myself down over that. Also I still hate Eid. I hate Eid sm. How do ppl genuinely enjoy Eid. Idk if I’ve ever been excited for Ei #It’s like I’m just suddenly getting more sick of ppl by the day. I Gen don’t like talking to ppl at all even tho I used to rely on talking #To others like its sustenance now it’s just such a hassle to me because I’m so sick of being unimportant to literally every single person I #Have ever known. Literally everyone except maybe dahlia idk. the only person who has never gotten mad/snapped at me o is dahlia #And knowing my luck that will soon be taken from me too. Anyways good riddance to tumblr i loathe this site and im sick of the mind games #All the time from just existing on here. Gen makes me feel ill. I’m so sick of that girl I like and sick of everyone. The only time ppl car #Is when I cause a scene. And ykw atp I loathe being showed sympathy and pity for these sorts of posts because it just feels like a big joke #Cause why couldn’t you just care when I was fine. Why do you ONLY care when I’ve had enough of your bad behaviour. How does one make someon #Like me go mad with all these things #Istg if I come back to this dumb site whether to this acc to the tora one or my other account everyone has permission to beat me up. #dora daily #Tldr;I HATE ppl and everyone ever + I’m just sick of pretending like everyone doesn’t suck cause how can ppl be so insufferable intolerable #Insane horrible in every way and ppl like them. How do they live with themselves when they’re this aggravating. Every day I hate ppl more #Because their mannerisms their everything is just so embarrassing. #Essay tags 😻😻😻

[munamania]

like not to be crazy but life yesterday for me was just wake up 9am class sit edit (see film friends briefly so yippee yay) oh my god thank god the little bit of time i sat outside in the sun but then class till 5pm walk to store w sam for their shit to be way too pricey to be worth it lmao um not even get on bus till 5:45 call parents around 6:45 dont get off phone with dad till after 8:30. um. watch tv with lydia for a little bit smoke make a shitty little dinner bed. idk typing it out it's like oh thats not So bad i had at least a few chill moments. kind of. it still feels bleak though anyone else

#and well yes i had to sit for a while and wait for lydia for the bus #bc i happened to see sam's roommate and two others of that friend group sitting right out front of yk #the building i work at and near the bus stop. and i was just like. oh jesus Christ. i cant do seeing people today esp not 3v1 #and sunday i had the most painfully entangled physically awkward run in with this girl who is also friends w them. whom i met that one #rlly weird night but we didnt even really meet we were just in each others vicinity enough to make eye contact and be like um hi ig yk #anyway tiny br and my bookbag is like a foot and a half deep rn so i went to hang it up and wash my hands and the straps get all messed #up w hers and i walk over to be like omg im so sorry but she has headphones on as do i but i thought she at least saw me grab my bag #and put it on and then i opened the door for her bc i literally did not have room i would have run into her and she still managed to #like squished cause its cramped and almost smack the door/me again and i was just so fucking tired and gross after work like girl i am not #a person rn... yk.... anyways. none of that really mattered but it's stuff that happened in the periphery of like life idk #abby talks #i need enrichment so bad. but preceded and followed by so much rest

[synthshenanigans]

Small theory of what the next album could be, the story sometimes talks about a partner like in Hidden in the Sand or Haiku and how they probably broke up. Maybe well get songs/an album based on the before and after with that. Vol 1 starts with Outro to Calamity so there might be a prequel type of album next that talks about all that. Plus maybe itll talk about how Heart went blind (if he wasnt already blind that is), because the saying love is blind, love being connected to the heart, it could make sense if it happened then. Idk just spitballin, love to here other ideas tho

#also if he uses another song from hawaii ii some of those sings could work #idk thats been bouncing around in my head a bit #im rlly tired tho so apologizes if this is worded bad #also feels kinda weird guessing that cause this is still technically about CJ's life and i dont wanna like #make guesses about his life or anything #idk maybe my brains just weird #tho if true #i could see isle unto thyeself and white ball being used #maaaaybe murders? dunno as he always changes the lyrics and meaning #chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium

[idiotsonlyevent]

i like adachi as a character. i think he's a generally well-written antagonist, even if p4 doesn't actually do a good job of addressing his issues w society/nihilism. i think it's crucial that he is on some level relatable and sympathetic; that's the whole point. this can happen to anyone. you can know/be an adachi, without realizing it.

but also.... idk. dont wanna act like every conversation/post abt adachi has to mention that he tried to sexually assault/rape(?) yamano and saki, but it kinda skeeves me out when adachi analysis/interpretations just... ignore it? dont mention it? act like He Wanted To Connect With People But Got Scareds? bc no he didn't.... he wasnt Just Sad Because He's A Failure. like he very explicitly approached yamano and saki w Intent to Harm them. he is very explicitly misogynistic. and predatory. you cannot pretend those aspects of his character don't exist

#some of this phrasing is bad but im tired of editing so. sorry :/// whatever idk #getting kinda tired of seeing this #idk its weird to me when fans are like 'i looove messy/problematic characters!' and then go and do this like. are u sure abt that.... #i think its also why im so uncomfy w any iteration of trans adachi bc like. what does it add to his character? do you really think it makes #him More sympathetic? Why? is this rlly what u want even from fanon transfem/masc rep??? #obvs this isnt me telling ppl what to do . i just dont get it ig #L.txt #p4 #persona

[trans-xianxian]

hmmmm I drafted an email to my boss abt how her text regarding my time off request after my mother's death made me feel very uncomfortable and how I felt like it was unprofessional should I send it

#obviously I did not go to sleep after that reblog kshdmudksb #anyway I want to but also like I work closely w her every day and I don't want to eternally feel uncomfortable because I confronted her #but at the same time like her text made me feel bad enough that it completely altered how I feel about my job #like I was going to come back next year and for summer camp but how she handled the whole thing just made me feel Bad #and like if in the future something else happens where I need extended time off she will be equally as not understanding #idk it just put a rlly bad taste in my mouth that she tried to make my co workers work life my responsibility during my time off #I feel like thats something she needs to be confronted about #but like. what outcome will that have other than making it uncomfortable to be around her for the foreseeable future #idk and also like. everyone else in my life including co workers has been so understanding and kind and compassionate #but even her My Condolences tm text was kind of cold and rude #and its like. okay maybe I'll calm down about this once I'm not In The Throws Of Grief but at the same time #I am in a very emotionally vulnerable place and someone intentionally took advantage of that to make me feel bad #thats kind of a big deal? #idk its just weird. she'd been so understanding until I actually needed something from her #I'd also sort of been getting the impression that she was growing tired of the whole broken foot thing #but I was hoping that that was just me projecting cuz I feel bad about not being helpful #now I am nawt so sure... #anyway this really sucks I really loved my work environment and then it was ruined with one (1) text #ghost posts #text

[fatcowboys]

hhhhh tired of having a physical form

#i feel like ive had an i crease o #in bad and weird body things lately. and im elly rlly rlly tired and stressed and also doing smthing is so hard #like. i have so limited pto. and im fat. and the idea of talking to a dr abt stuff is so. ah. #im just. aaaaa

[soldier-poet-king]

Sometimes reading a completely random standalone fantasy book that u know is probs gonna be mediocre on a whim is just. So indulgent. It feels like fanfiction (affectionate), usually when I say that it's (derogatory). It's like. Here is some sort of garbage but also it's very delicious top tiered garbage, recycling if you will, and has angst and can fit SO MUCH trauma into it and it's like. Here is a fantasy setting but we are using it as backdrop to deal with big serious emotional and interpersonal issues and grief and illness and ptsd and all the stuff I want explored in fiction but in a fantasy setting with queer theives with ptsd and depressed slutty rakish princes and brilliant wizard girls and not in a boring book written by a middle aged white man about divorce and affairs and idk....corporate jobs or whatever Those Types are writing about now

#franposting #im supposed to be reading scholomance and i WILL #but i had already started this + i havea few chapters of assassins quest left #and im just. in a weird mental space #i say as if there are times when i am not in a weird headspace #anyway im just. every few months i will read smthn that is completely 10000% indulgent #sometimes it disappoints #but this one feels. indulgent but in a fun good way.like replaying da2 500 times kind of way #this boy can fit so much mental illness and self neglect in him. this one can fit so much alcoholism and depression. #this girl has SO much of everything in her. im just. #hi hello this is my favourite kind of indulgence #anyway i feel really untethered rn and not in a fun way!!! no filter bc nothing is real #i think. i am v tired. possibly slightly ikl #ill*. or. i got the new booster and i always feel flu like after any vaccine ever #even my fuckin tetanus booster made me sick #so maybe that's it #also its rlly cold. im so cold rn

[wc-confessions]

just saw that rude ask. i hope you're feeling better after that and the rest of the less than polite asks!! it's not like you even did anything wrong? you're just posting asks and asking people to keep names out. it feels unfair they're taking it out on you for wanting to avoid drama

yeah idk ppl can be ridiculous.but thank you sm! so far today has been cool

#not a confession #text #asks #tired-needs-sleep #its also weird that #that same anon wanted to avoid drama #and ig thats fine bc its their rep #and yet expected me to take a hit for them #because #apparently im supposed to be neutral on everything #including shit talking real ppl #like theres a difference between criticism #and hating someone bc you find their posts annoying #which is what their ask was abt #and the person in question. isnt rlly bad #just annoying sometimes??? #what a weirdo that anon

[legofbicuriosity]

i hate you expectation of romance i hate you seeing romantic subtext in the most mundane interactions i hate you amatonormativity i hate y

#SHUT UP #SHUT UPPPPPPPP SHUT UP #the other day i posted a bereal of me and my cousin standing like 5 feet apart like 😁✌🏼 just cheesin. and having a good time. #and two of my friends reacted to it with like 😏😏 faces #and it was so uncomfortable #granted they didn’t know he was my cousin but like. even if he wasn’t. can i not have friends????????? lol #can i not hang out with guys without y’all being fucking weird about it #and if they’re gonna be like that where’s this energy for literally everyone in my life then. u Know i’m gay #and the other day i was at a building party and i was talking to my roommate and he was telling me abt how he wanted to play ping pong #and then i went to talk to this girl i met at the party and i was like haha yah that’s my roommate and she was like oh him? i thought he was #flirting with you #and like ???????????? #why is that the first assumption you make???? #sorry i’m bubbly and sociable sorry you’re not capable of seeing normal interactions as they are #sorry i assert myself in conversations because i’ll be talked over if i don’t #i think it’s a cultural thing also but. i’m not rlly used to it bc my close friends are Not like that #my best friend was telling me abt how every time she goes out for lunch with one of her guy friends the ppl in her uni (bc it’s quite small) #would always teasingly be like ‘omg are u cheating on your bf🤭🤭’ #?????? HELLO???????? oh my god #are u not tired. are u not Exhausted #BECAUSE I AM #i hate people oh my god #like it literally does nothing but make things uncomfortable #anyways #delete later #i was just a little bit annoyed. tiny bit🤏🏼🤏🏼

[acidsaladd]

no time... to...draw.. *vaporizes into the wind*

#school is making me so exhausted holy hell #feels like i havent posted art in forever #next weekend will be chill and i will be able to work on my wips at last #and like #i guess i Am in art school? not rlly but also thats what im studying #idk its weird #but like having all my projects be about drawings and stuff is making me too tired to draw sruff for myself ya know #my worst fear #going to bed now mwah mwah #blabbering

[palms-upturned]

.

#csa mention #soooooo so so tired gonna sleep now #but also wanted to complain first #my least fav line in disco elysium so far is that one from the dream scene w dora #where she’s like ‘’this is true darkness. it isn’t war or death or child molestation. #real darkness wears love for a face.’’ #like… was it necessary to mention csa there? dkshsbcjcn #the general shittiness of that sentiment aside #one of the worst things abt abuse in general but esp csa is that it does wear love for a face more often than not… #idk i just rlly disliked that line skshdjcjc sounded so weird and fake deep #esp since one of the overarching themes of the whole game is how war has left permanent scars on revachol #that has caused lasting intergenerational trauma and def influenced all of the little personal tragedies of the charas #like… idk what an odd thing to say #guess you could say it’s another moment reflecting how dora comes from a privileged bg #but idk. just rubs me the wrong way #anyway. zzzzzzzzz #meg talks

[fabulouslygaybean]

gerard way gender rant in the tags bc this is my blog so i get to talk abt what i want and it's been on my mind for a hot minute

#like... it just feels weird that ppl are taking them wearing a dress to mean that they've come out as transfem? #please tell me y'all haven't forgotten that clothes don't equal gender right. like a dress is not inherently Female #it just leaves a weird taste in my mouth. it would be 110% fine if he WAS transfem but it feels weird to just assume #he has talked abt how he relates to trans women and that he's struggled with gender and that's valid!! im not denying any of that!! #but they've talked about how they dislike applying labels to himself and i feel like im the only person who finds it weird that ppl are - #- so quick to jump to the nearest label the moment he wears something more gnc than he usually does #also like.. its one thing to say that they're probably not cis. which is very true #but another thing to be so adamant that he's a 100% binary trans woman that it comes off as more intrusive than anything #they probably aren't cis. they've struggled with gender and use he/they pronouns and use some typically feminine terms to refer to himself #and it's fine to look up to him when it comes to gender!! i admire the fact that he's so open about it and i find comfort in knowing that - #- in a way he's kinda like me!! they love their trans fans and don't rlly consider themselves cis but also hasn't said anything about - #- using the word trans to describe himself. and those things can coexist. there can be a gray area between cis and trans #idk man. it just feels weird. i dont like how ppl force labels onto someone who has made an effort to avoid labels. #are they probably queer? absolutely. im not denying that. is it still weird that folks are being oddly invasive about his gender? yeah. #we're allowed to talk about his relationship with gender/sexuality + how he's always been focused on making a welcome space for queer folks #but acting as if it's Written Fact to assume he's a binary trans person is just. weird. #to clarify: this isn't me being mad at anyone in particular. if you're one of the folks who talks abt them being transfem then whatever. #im too tired rn to have any kind of beef with y'all. in the end we all basically know nothing. the only one who understands his - #- relationship with gender is gerard themself. im no expert. im just some queer teenager on the internet. #ive just seen it being passed around and i needed to type this out for myself so i can figure out WHY it was making me uncomfortable #nobody's obligated to agree with me or to even pay attention to this. im rlly only writing it out for myself and myself only. #im keeping the reblogs turned off though bc i don't wanna start fights over it