#it’s my friend’s tho

[sygnus-knight]

doodle dump

#first one is an Ffxiv oc #oc art #it’s my friend’s tho #I’ve actually drawn him b4 on this blog

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[hamable]

Riz giving Fabian disadvantage while getting a gold tattoo in hell is killing me for two reasons:

1. Fabian receives disadvantage on remaining calm and conscious because his best friend can’t stop making nervous eye contact, and

2. Said best friend is canonically covered in less-than-advisable tattoos of clues from a previous adventure.

BONUS

3: Riz immediately passes out

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #I’m obsessed with them this season #I’ll make my stand and say I don’t necessarily ship Riz and Fabian but I do see them as best friends lowkey obsessed with each other #but in a queer way. an extremely Queer Platonic Duo. #they are feeding Fabriz ppl this season tho no doubt #they don’t even mean to they’re just Like That. #congrats to whatever they’ve got going on #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #fabriz

[dragondawdles]

the beastie <3

#totk spoilers #<- (? yet another schrödinger's spoiler she shows up during the beginning sequence but uhhh just 2 be safe) #totk #light dragon #the light dragon #totk light dragon #loz #tloz #zelda #id in alt #dragon doodles #(I don't know the TAGS for this fandom grrgrhgrgrhg I'll decide eventually) #hiiiiiii so the uh new zelda game was good. I beat that after 140 hours like a week ago (explode emoji) #and now I'm brainrotting zelda HARD which means I have feelings about like 17 dudes all at once #we'll have to see if that means I'll bombard you with characters!! lately art's been blah but I've got some stuff cooking hopefully #hey I'm happy with this tho!! happy with tha beastie :] #this worm is my best friend

[spaceistheplaceart]

mob tells reigen to shut up accidentally... two!!!

abbreviated ID: An mp100 comic. Teru tells Mob "shut up" can be a reply to something funny. and mob later tells reigen to shut up after he tells a joke, shocking reigen. Full ID under cut

[ID: A black and white Mob Psycho 100 comic. Mob smiles and says something marked as “[funny comment]” and Teru laughs hard, clapping Mob on the shoulder and exclaiming, “Oh, shut up, Kageyama!” Mob sweats and says, “Oh, sorry.” Teru, frowning, asks, “Huh? Why?”

Mob says, “You told me to shut up?” and Teru holds up his hands, looking apologetic. He exclaims, “Oh! No, no, no! That means I thought it was funny!” He flusters, smiling weakly and trying to explain. “When someone tells you to shut up and they’re laughing it means it was funny! Like uh... uh... Okay I can’t explain it but you know what I mean.”

Mob looks away and says, “Not really...” He smiles at Teru. “But I'm glad you thought it was funny.” Teru rubs the back of his head and says, “Ahaa yeah! I did!”

The view cuts to Spirits and Such, where Mob is writing at his desk and Reigen is scowling behind his. Arms crossed, Reigen says a “[snide but funny remark]”. Mob gives a “hehe” and smiles, “Good one, master.” The background turns dark gray as the view zooms in on Mob and he, still smiling with big eyes, says, “Shut up!”

Reigen’s mouth parts as his expression goes to blank shock. The background behind him is stark black. End ID]

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #comic #op art #dw he explained it to reigen afterwards and then never used it again #tbh i dont get thr shut up thing either even tho i. use it constantly #also telling my friends i hate them when they say smthn funny #idk how rhat translates lmao but it does

[japhers]

"The listeners are just as important as the musicians, you know! Music is a dialogue- a conversation!"

◆ Name: Étienne ◆ Title: Devoted Chanson Bleue ◆ Conductor of the Orchestre Philharmonique de Fontaine ◆ Vision: Hydro Catalyst ◆ Constellation: Corona Borealis

(Fontaine template from here!)

#I tried making it... a genshin oc... I just watch my friends tho I can't play g*cha games it's too dangerous #OR RATHER I made this OC before I just updated it hehe #genshin oc #genshin impact oc #oc stuff #artz

[fluffyartbl0g]

I know this probably sounds crazy,,, but i used to wear a hat almost exactly like that one!!!

WUH?! THAS INSANE!!!!

#hahaha i think they would’ve been good friends if they ever had the chance to meet #one piece #op fanart #monkey d. luffy #gol d. roger #aka someone with a time travel fruit sends pirate king luffy back 4 a day n then he bums around with roger or somthin #roger: i mean i know that OBVIOUSLY couldnt b my hat tho… #i’d NEVER let my ULTIMATE TREASURE be stabbed in the top like that #luffy: #buggy:

[cowardlykrow]

Stop light shenanigans

Extra:

#this came to me in the shower as most great thoughts do #I’m so sorry for this LONG ASS POst #Bill Woodward #ted spankoffski #paul matthews #My mom said this was a one one two but with an extra one…. which is boxing talk I guess #Basically ‘’ tom coming in with the left hook’’ #which I’ll take as this being at least somewhat funny #tho does it count when the only people you have to ask is who you got your humor from? #Tom Houston #digital art #digital drawing #art #fanart #Hatchetfield #Tgwdlm #nightmare time #jane’s a car #Is it obvious I have no friends in this fandom except my momma??? #starkid #hatchetfield fanart #black friday #//Komic

[elbdot]

LITTLE COMIC based on how I made a friend at 1 am while crawling on the ground, picking up Maybugs to save them from getting squished by cars.

PRETTY SURE I must've looked like a strange little gremlin to any onlookers passing by. Also yes he held a bug like a CHAMP. He passed my test. We still hang out 😂

Patreon

#comics #comic #artists on tumblr #drawing #comic art #digital art #bugs #insects #mod #Also yes by now I'm known in my neighborhood as the BEE GIRL #I'm always taking pictures of wild bees during spring and summer hanging around the front gardens of my neighbors #Now they all know me and greet me with a smile but I STILL DON'T KNOW THEIR NAMES #It's really fun to own this reputation tho I LOVE IT #I made a lot of friends this year thanks to my hobby #Hope this trend continues LMAO #my art #elbdot art #elbdot

[erabu-san]

He didn't want to remember.

#genshinimpact #genshin impact #kaedehara kazuha #genshin impact kazuha #genshin impact kaedehara kazuha #venti #genshin impact venti #my art #this is why kazuha is now in non-drink zone... #the little cat is from his OST and also birthday's art #i am sure the cat is his friend of travel awww #he has a cat it all matters for me #venti wanted to see kazuha jumping in water tho #kazuha is embarased. super embarassed. #he is polite while asking with venti haha #venti using “AWWW BUT LOOK I AM A CUTE AND GOOD BOOOY ):” face #doesn't work ofc

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without- #distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just- #super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff #i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i- #read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :( #SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!! #but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little- #break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think #ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for- #designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much... #WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to #umm. tags. #new life smp #smallishbeans #mythical sausage #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #inthelittlewood #my art #sketch

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what???? #like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!'' #yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like . #sexuality is fluid... #don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me. #(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

[electric-beaugaloo]

I see your “Alice and Celia are anagrams” post and raise you a “Alice and s1 Jon are wearing the same hat”

S1 Jon is desperately skeptic bc he’s scared & doesn’t feel in control so he’s bluffing in a way that comes across as unlikable. I think Alice is also haunted by the job but faking her way through it by bullishly insisting others don’t think about it… also in a way that can come across as unlikable.

#not me tho I love my good friend Alice Dyer who has never done anything wrong in her life #highlight of the episode to me was the implication that she’s a tall girl #wife material #tmagp #the magnus protocol #I just think she’s brought up the fact that this job doesn’t bother her a tad too much #something something the lady doth protest

[couch-house]

I think sonic had a really good time not being playable for once and just being supporting cast for his friend shadow. i just know he was soooo excited to explain the controls and not worry about rings and cheer on his friend (and sometimes be a final boss :3)

#sth #shth #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the character #fanart #id in alt text #i have. another batch of shadow (game) drawings after this #bc im having a really good time with it #it is definitely somewhere in the top 3 sonic games for me. it's good! and anyone who says otherwise just hates fun #sonic in this game soooo funny he IS so annoying but it is so cute truly #im really bad at the hero mission in space gadget but sonics dialogue is sooooo cute in that.. #he's just having fun racing with his friend again 🥺 #shadow is having the most intense and miserable experience of his short life and sonic is just like yaayayayay video game yaaay! #anyway. return of my adventure-era sonic design. even tho shth canonically takes place A While after sa2 #whatever. they r the same to me

[luckyjorabbit]

Obsessed w Doffy’s sunglasses/googles combo so I had to draw somethin with it but then wani too <3

#Would he wear the sunglasses under em? His shades are such a weird shape I dont think itd be possible! Hrmmm…. #He woudlnt take em off around just anyone tho ofc ofc hehe #Dofladile #Dofuwani #donquixote doflamingo #Sir crocodile #One piece #Also obsessed w the idea of them being childhood friends somehow….. so thats kind what this is too. Meeting after years… its so cute T_T #Eye strain #Maybe!? These colors are kinda fucked sorry lol #Digital #procreate #fanart #my art #edit; added screentones