#it’s driving me insane basically

[wooshofficial]

Hello tumblr would you like a writing snippet

#woosh quotes themself #writing snippet #THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FICLET. ITS 900 WORDS AND NOT EVEN CLOSE TO DONE #idk when this’ll be out bc dialogue is hard but the way I’ve been trying to yell about this for days and being unable to bc spoilers is so #it’s driving me insane basically #anyways feel free to send me asks about this I will answer any questions besides the identity of the ghost #you can send me guesses tho #also calling Etho ‘loverboy’ is the funniest thing I’ve done so far

[housewifebuck]

do not talk to me or my son or my sons gay best friend ever again

#once again ripping my own jokes straight from my text convo with teenie #and for anyone who's gonna be like bobby is basically eddies dad too bitch I know but this is funnier #911 #🪐 #caps #also this scene drives me insane why are hen and chim the only two wearing their passes and why is this like the only time in the whole sho #that we see anyone wearing them #like....... #obviously the costume department HAS them

[gibuckaroo]

Buck has never been picked last in any group games he was ever part of.

Of course, he hasn’t. Buck goes above and beyond to please his peers, he makes himself big enough he doesn’t go unnoticed, he tries hard to make his name known, and he picks up every little thing to make people know he’s there and he listens and he’d be good to have on their team.

He may not always be the first choice, and that’s a cross that he has to bear—no one likes anybody who tries too hard, anyway. But it also means at some point, somebody will choose him because it’s better to be the one doing something, than nothing at all.

So, he had surface level relationships with the people at school. At home he’s always been invisible and he has learned to accept that—it’ll always be his reality with his parents no matter how hard he tries, doesn’t matter if he empties himself, doesn’t matter if he scrubs his skin dry, doesn’t matter if he tries.

When he met the 118, somehow, he kept being chosen. Even if it was in the more idiotic situations—he was being chosen. First, even, at times. They even made him feel that he didn’t need to try that hard anymore.

Then came Eddie.

And Christopher.

And for them, Buck didn’t even need to try at all.

Doesn’t mean he stopped, but he felt like he didn’t need to anymore. For the first time, he felt how warmth spread around his chest at the conscious decision of being chosen time and time again. It can be a hang out with Eddie, or being at the zoo with Chris, or asking to bake a dozen cupcakes, or just being there to taste whatever Eddie was trying in the kitchen.

He was the first.

He was the only one.

He was their emergency contact, their one call away friend, their runner, their best friend. Both of them. Especially Eddie.

Eddie who keeps his heart on his sleeve, who has walls around him that Buck has moved and pushed to the side with him, who took his time to show Buck every skeleton he has kept in his closet, who has peeled away layers of himself to show Buck.

It took years, and he has tried, and it is worth it.

Eddie chose him. Eddie chooses him. Buck feels chosen. Eddie finds him irreplaceable. Eddie finds him important. Buck rejoices.

This is how it feels like, he thinks, to be the first pick.

But then Eddie is leaning on another person, laugh ringing throughout the fire house, smile crinkling at his eyes and hasn’t it taken him a while to get that out of him?

And suddenly Eddie is saying no, and Eddie is saying wait, and Eddie is saying maybe.

Eddie has never been reluctant with him. Not for a long while.

And he remembers the first steps Eddie took here, in his house, in his home, how sure he was, how comfortable to cement his place in the heart of who Buck was? How he abhorred it, how he welcomed it just as fast.

He looks at Tommy now beside Eddie and how he abhors it. How he took his first steps—sure and comfortable and confident in Buck’s house, Buck’s home, in the heart of who he has in Eddie?

He takes notes of the similarities, of the easy banter that flows, of the stories they exchange, of how they fit so seamlessly without trying.

Buck tried for Eddie, and it worked. But he tried and worked, and it seems like Tommy doesn’t need to, seems like Eddie has welcomed him in spaces Buck tried so long to see without even asking.

And for a very long time; Buck feels like that elementary kid again waiting to be picked at dodgeball, knowing how hard he worked at PE so the other kids noticed how good he was, and only being chosen on the fifth call.

And he feels something wedge itself in the crevices of his chest, sharp and wicked and painful. He can feel it drip its slimy thorns in his flesh, poking and pushing him to snap, to explode.

If Eddie was to open him, he’d find his lungs green and beating his name. If Eddie was to open him, his ribcage would cradle him in, would house his body under Buck’s skin—he’s afraid he won’t let him out again. He’s afraid Eddie might let him go.

He’s afraid Eddie might not be choosing him this time.

People flee Buck.

People see how much he tries, and they don’t like anybody who tries that hard, anyway. It was only a matter of time. He should have known it was inevitable.

But he had hoped Eddie was different.

He hoped he was different to Eddie.

He thought that Eddie has carved a space for him right beside him, only meant for the shape of his head and the curve of his arms and the weight of his back. He thought Eddie has made him a room in his home, in his mind, in his heart.

He thought that was his space alone.

But there seems to be a new occupant, and it’s eating Buck alive.

#911 abc #eddie diaz #evan buckley #shitumblrtag #buddie #911 fic #buddie fic #kind of #jealous buck #tommy and eddie #who could have known ???? #JEALOUS BUCK DRIVES ME INSANE BTW #THIS IS JUST A RANT ALSO BASICALLY #bc my head is just poof #911 spoilers #911 s7 speculation

[gray32x]

i think about this way too often

#kakavege #i mean look at him #that is such a soft look!!!! and while he basically sighs his name as well #like i think you might be in love #in your own goku way #AAAUUGGGHHHH THEY DRIVE ME SO INSANE #i love fusion reborn

[chatonyant]

yknow i was trying to figure out how to draw him pretty and then immediately got sidetracked into drawing him as a bastard as the author intended.

#return of the mount hua sect #return of the blossoming blade #화산귀환 #fanart #art #digital art #alp art #alp fanart #i wanted to draw him pretty because it's such a funny funfact to me #but also. mainly i just wanted to draw pretty eyes #every time i draw him it dissolves into silly expressions moments #he is annoyingly hard to draw #even when standing still he has bastard energy #and his bangs drive me insane. #basically i kinda wanted to figure out the structure of his face before pushing it into extreme expressions but #-gestures wildly- it never works out #he looks different every time i draw him #anyways. heres my boy. read the novel its good #also read the manhwa that's good too #its a very funny story #will it also make you cry? yes. that's the fun is it not.

[fobnsfwdoodles]

If they didn't want me to make them into yaoi they could stop being yaoi for five seconds

#joetrick #kill me #please don't stop actually fob #increase it please #he's gonna fucking eat him #profiles my beloved #I've been trying to draw from more references recently bc i can feel my basics slipping a little bit but they come right back with practice #also good excuse to stare at every inch of their faces #the way their skin hangs on their faces drives me insane do you understand #the deep valleys under joes deep set eyes the flat plane under Patrick's nose #the hard lines of cheekbone contrasted with the soft of their jaws from weight and age I'm so fucking in love #the way their different features have aged #Patrick's lips compared to Joe's joes lower cheek compared to Patrick #theyre both so damn pretty #safe to reblog #fall out boy #patrick #joe #this is a doodles blog but bRO I LOVE DRAWING #tourdust

[silent-partner-412]

malos xenoblade is an insane character tbh… he is a harbinger of death and destruction. he is as evil as it gets. he’s cocky, he’s brash, he’s theatrical to the point of camp, he feels nothing but joy at destroying the world. he doubts everything about his existence. he yearns for love and connection. he would dedicate his life to another person despite being effectively a god. he would ignore what he sees as his own purpose for the one that he loves. he can’t verbally express any of this quite literally until he dies, if even then. literally nobody does it like him, i’m so obsessed

#xenoblade 2 #xenoblade chronicles 2 #xenoblade #xenoblade chronicles #malos #he’s driving me insane #i know i’ve been posting him basically as half of a ship #and trust me his dynamic with jin is literally SSS tier #but even on his own i fucking love malos man #he’s so much deeper than meets the eye #even i dismissed him at first which was a massive fucking mistake

[jorrated]

i cant believe my semester starts tomorrow and ill need to go back to pretend to being neurotypical.

#i assume by the amount of art i post people know im kinda neurodivergent #but im so anxious about drawing in public/where people can see #so basically i cant draw the whole day and it drives me actually insane it feels painful #aaauggghghgh ghghhhhhghgaaaaa[ #ill need to go back to interact with people i dont wanna intereact with and go to a classroom that has a funky smell #and the ac is never in the correct temperature #and people are alwasy talking. and the professors repeat stuff too much or say shit thats too obviuous #im whining. drama ass bitch moment. #but its so real #the first week is always the worst cause i gotta readjust #and just. learn to be okay with that god forsaken building and people #oh well!!!!! #at least ill see my friends more

[riccissance]

do you ever think about how shauna’s best friend froze to death then her son was stillborn and right after that shauna had to butcher the frozen body of a young boy??

#javi basically being the combination of jackie and wilderness baby drives me insane #and he was yet another person shauna wanted to keep safe but didn’t #shauna shipman suffered more than jesus #of course she wanted to be antler queen after that! #shauna just relived both of the deaths that traumatized her to keep everyone alive #and then they offer their love and devotion to nat #i would’ve done worse than just writing angrily in my journal tbh #and then shauna wakes them up in time to save them all from the fire!! #shauna shipman i get you #yellowjackets #shauna shipman

[transingthoseformers]

tfa shockwave in disguise but he accidentally knocks up an autobot, and when they see the baby.. there are questions.

"hey why's our baby purple with red eyes and antlers?"

Sdfyui YES

It would be so fascinating because they're wondering where the hell the genes came from

And you just know Shockwave's gonna lie somehow to keep his cover

ykw I'm actually seeing the hilarious explanation of a rumor that "Longarm" is Shockwave's long lost son

#maccadam #transformers #also recessive genetics #never forget the opportunity to blame those #but that would lead to us trying to apply eye color genetics to the wide variety that is Cybertronians #eye color genetics are already far more complicated than basic biology taught us_ can you imagine how nutty it us for transformers? #don't even get me started on how being able to change optic color fucks with expectations #i like genetics they drive me insane #tfa shockwave #my first thought of a partner was Cliffjumper ngl #this is also why i love randomly giving megatron children with blue optics. because of tfp megatronus having them.

[persephoneflouwers]

Anyway, free Palestine from z*onists, liberals and slothful hearts.

#if you’re still putting zionists on my dash #at this point I will just say you’re uneducated #but since it’s basically impossible to be uneducated on a phone recorded genocide #i will only say you either don’t care or you live in cognitive dissonance #and if you don’t care there’s nothing I can do for you #but if you care and you decide to ignore #then what are we even doing? #honestly that’s what I call privilege and chronically online activism #and fine it doesn’t matter to you bc this is tumblr and whatever #(seriously you don’t care that scumbag of Ben W*nston recruites young people for the IOF? #really you dont care the Az*ffs finance the IOF?) #seriously you don’t care about where you money goes? i dont believe it #what your money does? i don’t believe it #what drives absolutely insane is #people like me who speak up about this and call them (H L) out for the wrong things they fucking do #are ACTIVELY silenced and alienated blocked and hated on here #it’s actually insane to me that I AM the bad person here #when your fave goes grocery shopping with people who will put an bullet in a palestian child brain if they have a gun on them #(which they obviously do since they’re ✨*********✨) #I AM accused of being a hater. I AM accused of being the bad guy #i wish this was a joke lol #and I know people will hide behind and anonymous inbox and say ‘stop being a fan’ pr whatever #bc the point IS NOT being a fan at all #it’s that people are being ethnically cleansed from this fucking planet #with the complicity and responsibility of ‘western big democracies’ and YOU have a voice #you have the power of boycotting of speaking up of expressing your disapproval and disappointment #and you are not doing it because it feels safer for you to just support people who already have all the privileges and power and influence #and it’s disgusting really the way people act like this is normal or should be accepted as normal #and if this will be another round of Angie gets blocked by everyone in fandom so be it #i’m tired of being silenced and censored in this place

[prisiidon]

hhng Lionel ref can u be done i want to buy comms with him-

#he's driving me insanE- after i finish his head i'll leave it as a basic ref of front/back and do a full fancy ref with extras later on #pri rambles #pri posts

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

does anyone have any tips on how not to be a crippling perfectionist about your writing?? i have been staring at the same five paragraphs of the next chapter of four walls for a whole week and i've reached the point where i actually want to defenestrate my own laptop

#i've got the later parts of this chapter and a good chunk of the next one basically done #but this particular section is slowly driving me insane #UGH #why do i write characters with complex and conflicted emotions #it makes for a very complex and conflicted writing experience #(which i'm bitching about rn i know but i also wouldn't give it up for the world. it's just. a lot sometimes) #i end up second guessing myself constantly #also i haven't written anything this long for a good five years and i think the challenges of that #and the challenges of making a longer piece all tie together and work as one are really starting to set in #anyway sorry please feel free to ignore this mess of a post #i just needed to have a vent before returning to my keyboard and trying to make sense of alex's foolish little head #thanks to anyone who read their way though all this rambling 😅 #writing stuff #lulu posts

[no1ryomafan]

So I finished mazinkaiser awhile ago after months of procrastination on it and for one reason or another I’m not gonna give my solid thoughts on it but there is one specific thing I wanna point out, not as a critique but more so a confusion. That being: I find it weird how Mazinkaiser isn’t the turning point for Mazinger where they finally go “hey the robot is sentient” because it’s not yet near the end literally EVERYONE talks to Venus A as if shes actually a person:

I’m not saying this as a criticism for the reason of my already biased to vaguely sentient robots-because as much as I prefer this angle with mecha, I understand not every and all mecha can approach this because sometimes the robot is JUST a narrative tool and not a character, which is fine-however I’m confused with Mazinger of all things didn’t take this approach when there’s already so much emphasis on Mazinger being tied to gods. I mean, apart from the fact the robots are based off Greek Mythology and there is a constant message of “will it become God or Devil” which feels like it warrants this enough, it would start to make sense if the robot grew sentient because Mazinkaiser is treated as the ULTIMATE Mazinger. (And where have we heard a case where the “ultimate” form of a robot starts to be the one that displays more self awareness *cough* GETTAH🗿)

Especially also within this ova- it seems to do stuff on its own accord to PROTECT Koji, like going on auto pilot as he’s knocked out and somehow keeping him safe from being burned alive in magma, but I cannot tell if this IS a indicator Mazinkaiser is actually sentient or if it’s just all auto pilot. Oh and it’s a more minor thing but also just- the human poses Kaiser and Venus take during the beach episode… I cannot tell if that’s something they wanted or if their pilots just posed them comfortably because lines seem to blur with the robots just being treated as the extensive of the pilots. (Venus is literally based off of Sayakas appearance after all)

It’s just weird Nagai never went this route and just stuck to metaphorical stuff, when it feels like SOMETHING he would do given the nature of his stories and yet the only fully sentient Mazinger media I know is Zero. Of course I still have such a limited window on Mazinger so if this is me actually being wrong please feel free to correct me, but I still will never not find it weird Mazinkaiser lacks this aspect asides from maybe vague allusions to it that may or may not be implying it. Maybe if I ever rewatch it or find more Mazinkaiser content specifically I’ll be able to piece things together a bit more.

#meg text #mazinkaiser #mecha rambles #also before any asks I have also seen SKL and let me tell ya despite how off the rails it already is it makes Kaiser even WEIRDER #SKL!Kaiser is like- supposed to metaphorically be fucking satan and your telling me that robot ISN’T sentient? #the manga straight up implies it drives its pilots INSANE which just proves Kaido and Magami are that off their rockers to handle it #oh and just the fact Kaiser pops out the ground for them whenever… that’s either a very specific auto pilot or its sentient #granted the fact I know mazinkaiser originated from SRW from it being “born from getter rays” does not make my ordeal any less conflicting #obviously they retcon that out but like- #your gonna have a mazinger be born from a getter- SHIN GETTER no less and NOT be sentient? #and again I’m not even mad it’s not the getter approach bc not all mecha’s need to become cosmic horrors (even if it be sexy ngl I mean) #but it’s weird go fucking nagai never once considered in his crazy ass mecha already to make his robot LITERALLY sentient #and there being consequences for that on top of all the dangers Koji has to face being in this damn robot #again maybe I’m just a idiot and some of this is true bc I’m not the most knowledgeable on mazinger aside from the basics and it’s impact #but sure as hell never seen anyone mention this and I doubt it’s just a factor of “it’s niche” when it’s fucking mazinger

[imminent-danger-came]

This video is my brain at all times

#this video is for me and like 3 other people #eat up 3 other people #this is just a video of drive me insane honestly #my videos #lmk #lego monkie kid #tdp #the dragon prince #monkie kid #I spent all day making this #I also learned how to do basic editing in sony vagus

[strangerhands]

if any of you ever notice me liking, un-liking, and re-liking your posts, (sometimes multiple times a day. sometimes multiple days apart.) please (try to) ignore me. i am sorry. i am insane. thank you. have a good day

#i like actually have issues #i need to ''line up'' and semi-organize my likes (which act as my bookmarks) #and like. it drives me insane when things arent how i Need them to be. #like for example three fics of the same character need to be one after the other and stuff #it goes kinda deeper and more insane but just to give you a general idea #so catch me constantly liking and unliking and reliking things a billion times #also do it to like put some things back at the top of my likes because so much gets buried so quickly and i just need to remember its there #both with things i that havent read yet and with things that i want to reread #i feel like so insane and annoying about it all the time🧎but like its just something that i Need to do... #like it actually kind of upsets me #if i dont. but also when i do. #it also honestly makes me scared/nervous that people will get really annoyed and or weirded out by it if they see/notice it happen:/ #i definitely have further mental issues #anyways #basically just im sorry and please ignore me #talkin shit #maybe i should talk to someone about this. or go down the research rabbit hole. aaaaaaaanyways. #goodnight! #it is 8am and i dont know how im still awake! #this was a certified talkin shit post #absolute wall of tags jesus #sorry :p #if you read all of this. i am sorry and i love you (big deal for me) #(another issue of mine) #🧍 #hashtag unnecessary off putting weirdo rant😝 #my specialty #okay bye #just had to edit this post a billion times. #woah tag limit reached. its a sign for me to shut the fuck up. note taken. thanks tumblr.