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the-owl-tree · 5 months

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genuine question bc I haven’t read the books since. Idk a long time, why do ppl hate nightcloud so much?? I have literally only ever heard of her as an afterthought. Like she’s the third choice for crow feather bc he needed to take a mate to not be seen suspicious and just picked her, there’s no love between them, and afaik he basically forced her to raise her son by herself, not counting the moments of attention he DID give which seemed to be overwhelmingly negative and even abusive. Isn’t she allowed to be bitter and that when he’s very clear abt his apathy and even resentment toward her and her son?? Or am I missing some context

People took Crowfeather passing the blame onto Nightcloud for Breezepelt's behavior at face value, despite two arcs worth of books proving that wasn't true at all. I'd argue the writing team ALSO believed this, as with how they characterized her in the subsequent Field Guides. Immediately, Nightcloud's past actions were re-contextualized to be negative, to further push this idea that she was this old coddling bitch mom who didn't let poor Crowfeather be involved with his son (look at the language of the field guides, they genuinely wrote "she should be glad to be alive").

Crowfeather was (and in some circles still is) a pretty popular character, and a lot of people were quick to latch onto the idea that he was blameless. I can't remember if CrowPool was or wasn't a popular ship, I lean towards yes, so take this line with the knowledge my memory is fuzzy, but I'd also argue that Nightcloud being the "replacement" mate was what made people even more hostile to her.

So, what is Nightcloud actually like? I'm only going to cover scenes where Nightcloud is either mentioned or actually appears, so no Outcast, click the first link for a better look at that. I'll only cover Po3 and OoTS for now.

Nightcloud's Appearances in the Power of Three

Our first meeting with her is in The Sight, where ThunderClan intervenes when they're being chased around by a dog. Her first piece of actual dialogue is her defending Breezepaw from Crowfeather, which is not coddling, especially when given the added context in Outcast that Crowfeather is verbally abusive towards his son. She also proceeds to lecture him about his manners towards a ThunderClan cat, so, she's not the one encouraging his rude streak.

She is then absent for most of the book until the end, when during one of the contests at the Daylight Gathering, Lionpaw and Breezepaw get hurt in a collapsed tunnel incident and she understandably is quite distressed. Then Leafpool drops the "i'd give every drop of my blood for you Crowfeather" line and Nightcloud just tries to divert attention from that, understandably uncomfortable with what's being said.

One of the scenes that's commonly used as "evidence" that Nightcloud stopped Crowfeather from bonding with Breezepelt is this one:

No hissing or swatting. She just doesn't let him help, and considering we now know Crowfeather has been absent from the beginning and isn't above hitting and screaming at his kid, I think it's understandable that she arguably isn't going to stop just so he can help. But that's my interpretation, I think this scene in itself proves nothing of the sort either way and people were reaching when trying to use it as evidence.

Nightcloud's remaining appearances in The Sight is her watching over Breezepaw and Lionpaw as they recover:

That is the entirety of her appearance in The Sight. Onto Dark River! Where her first mention is Leafpool identifying her and Jaypaw sensing some jealousy from Leafpool, as the patrol is going to check in on WindClan and get information because of uh scents. you know usual warriors border bullshit. We then get Jaypaw noticing her breath, and finally him sensing jealousy from Nightcloud (that she does not act on). This is the entirety of her appearance in Dark River:

Cue Leafpool being polite to Crowfeather, and Crowfeather waving as many red flags as he possible can.

And onto the infamous Outcast! Where Nightcloud has *drumroll* one fucking appearance.

She also has one appearance in Eclipse where she's part of the patrol that attacks Lionpaw, but I'm not even going to mention it it's quite literally just him going "Nightcloud!" before the scene shifts to his and Heatherpaw's conflict. She is entirely absent in Long Shadows, there is no appearance of her beyond allegiances.

And finally in Sunrise, she is entirely absent until near the ending. She's first mentioned by Crowfeather when Jayfeather asks him if he knew the truth, then noticed at a gathering by Hollyleaf:

When the secret is revealed, Nightcloud stands with Crowfeather. No hissing or hitting or turning on him, here is the entirery of her appearance when Hollyleaf reveals everything:

This is it. This is the entirety of Nightcloud involvement in the story, she is barely mentioned and she is barely a character. Her appearances are dwarfed by Crowfeather and Breezepelt, and she is literally just a normal mom character throughout.

Nightcloud's Appearances in Omen of the Stars

Nightcloud is absent throughout the entirety of the Fourth Apprentice. She is only mentioned in the allegiances. She has one appearance in Fading Echoes:

Then there's Night Whispers, where her first appearance is her arguing with Crowfeather while Flametail goes "yikes!":

Her other appearance is the infamous grabbing scene that people latched onto as proof that Nightcloud was an abusive monster who was hurting poor Crowfeather and was forcing him to not bond with his son. Breezepelt and Lionblaze get into a border dispute and it escalates into a fight:

Leafpool intervenes and asks Crowfeather why he's not doing shit, he then proceeds to throw up multiple red flags in front of her and does the red flag dance:

We finally get Nightcloud where she comes in and pulls Crowfeather away from Leafpool. Despite using her claws, presumably because she does not have fucking THUMBS to grab onto him, no blood is drawn. She just pulls him away in an already emotionally charged and over dramatic situation. This is not comparable to Crowfeather's abuse of his son and with everything else I've presented, her grabbing him is not indicative of their relationship, ESPECIALLY given the circumstances of the action:

Her last appearance is her talking about shredding RC cats, it's not relevant but uh it's there. That the entirety of her appearances within the book.

She has no appearances in Sign of the Moon. She then has a two appearances in The Forgotten Warrior where she is hostile to Hollyleaf (which feels understandable to me considering what Hollyleaf did):

She has one onscreen appearance in The Last Hope where she defends Jayfeather from the Dark Forest attack with some other WindClan cats:

Her only other mention is Crowfeather blaming her for Breezepelt's behavior:

In canon, this never happens. We never see Nightcloud encourage Breezepelt to hate Crowfeather, but we instead see Crowfeather spending an entire book abusing Breezepaw when Nightcloud is away. This is bullshit, but the fandom took this as truth and immediately turned on Nightcloud despite no actual evidence.

There are three takeaways from this:

Crowfeather blaming Nightcloud is....false. It's false. We see no canon evidence of this, and in fact the books tell us another narrative.

Nightcloud is barely a character. She has so few actual appearances that calling her "complex" is a lie, she is a narrative tool that moreso supports Crowfeather and Breezepelt's conflict than any story of her own.

Even if Nightcloud did do all that offscreen, Crowfeather STILL abused his child and that is directly tied to Breezepelt's motivations within Omen of the Stars. Nightcloud's behavior does NOT negate the harm that Crowfeather did to his own son.

#warrior cats #nightcloud #breezepelt #crowfeather #deer rambles #stealing bonefall's essay format LOL but it's useful for organization.#anyways. i've wanteed to make this post for a while sooo ty anon for the excuse to

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spearheadrampancy · 4 months

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So... if you don't mind me asking how've you been?

hoo boy. yeah. tldr: alive!

quite a fair chunk of shit happened i think. when i redownloaded the app i weighed up if i was gonna make a post abt what's happened, but ultimately decided against it bc i wasnt sure how active i was gonna be. looks like the answer is very, so i might as well for anyone who's curious (:

on with the details in no particular order!

just before we stopped posting, we mentioned how the company we worked for announced big profits, an expenses-paid trip for the top employees, and also the tiny small news that the team we were on was getting downsized from 20 ppl total to about 3 (6 to 1 for my role specifically). well, we did end up losing our job completely because the company was unwilling to make reasonable adjustments so we could move to the same role in a different team (we don't have any legal grounds to take action unfortunately). but this was fine for us bc we grew jaded with how management was doing shit anyway. they also laid off about 700 people from across the company a few months later.

we spent months trying to find a job, and eventually applied to university on a whim. we got in! we're studying game design and are currently in foundation year (level 0) of the course. we were pretty worried about "fitting in" and suff but honestly we made friends instantly and it turns out a lot of lgbt autistic folks are studying game design foundation year. strange! (/s). its a little weird being part of the popular clique now.

we built a site. a real one! with colours and scripts and all that! a couple sites, actually, but only one is what we're comfortable sharing publicly (other site is sys member info for friends to reference). the site is on neocities, available here. we got really into coding for realsies around the time that we stopped posting. we also got into something called choicescript, but the site took priority as we use it as a digital portfolio. we also started practicing API work by making little tools for the discord bot pluralkit, but they are. uh. far from finished

we got an rgb bulb that actually works with shortcuts, so it inspired us to actually code shortcuts again. they're pretty advanced now; we have a series of them dedicated to forcing us to sleep (it obviously isnt working given i'm still awake at 4am !!), but they're really smooth and helpful

we started drawing properly again (i know we've posted a lot of art on here but most of it is low effort memes. and also none of it was trad art, which we got back into), in order to prep for being asked for a portfolio for uni. which we eventually didnt even get asked for. we opened an instagram account to post it to while we work on getting our art on our actual site, and recently a deviantart account for crossposting.

i stopped writing. i also largely stopped building on my ideas for games and comics and such. this was more because i had More Pressing Things to be writing about, like our CV, and our applications, but i havent really picked it back up. in a bit of a plateau of inspiration rn. wanna fix that though.

we started playing hotline miami, which we'd been meaning to do for years. completed the first, got halfway into the second before a TERRIBLE AWFUL THUMB INJURY (dramatic. didnt even need glue) rendered us entirely unable to use a controller. it healed but we havent finished the second yet. today's actually the first time since august that we've even touched a controller, let alone played any games.

we got back into making music. we decided the system was going to start releasing music as a collective, so we set up a whole youtube channel and stuff for it. videos'll start january 1st, we hope.

i convinced two people to watch red vs blue. my token cishet guy friend who was my colleague at Shitty Workplace (i sent him slutty locus from earlier and his only response was "amazing") and one of my new uni friends (very autistic i think they will go feral for it). token cishet just finished season 8 and uni friend is in season 3 i believe.

health wise has been. a ride... our normal gp stopped practicing entirely, and we dont trust the other gp's at our clinic, so we've been entirely unmedicated and unchecked since november of last year, barring OTC stuff. except for the part where at the end of october we finally saw a rheumatologist (after being referred in 2019!) who said we probably had fibromyalgia. earlier this month we also caught some Mystery Illness that lasted two weeks and nobody knew what it was. our voice still hasnt recovered fully and the whole experience was weird, but the hospital nurse wasnt concerned and it didnt come back as positive for That One Illness That Got Really Popular In The Last Three Years so its honestly likely that it was just the regular old flu, which we werent used to after only really suffering from Disabled Person Sicknesses for the best part of the last 15 years.

we met steve downes and jen taylor, the voice actors of halo's master chief and cortana! got photos & signatures (: steve complimented my jacket and jen Really Wanted A Nap.

WE GOT THE GRIFBALL PLUSH (: i would make this bigger if i could. it's just one of those Material Gains that has a lot of sentimental value to us. and i found my glow in the dark ring which i cried about. again: material gains of high personal significance.

so yeah! a lot. im probably missing something because i have the brain of a sieve. but we're alive and thats the important part.

#srs09:m:haix #i know this is a long one but hopefully that readmore works ‼️‼️#srs09:t:looking up #its good to be reminded that my presence on this bitch of an earth means something to someone. id like to hold onto that feeling forever.

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kurjakani · 1 year

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Hiii! I was wondering if you’re still into cyberpunk if you could give us (mainly me) some more Dum Dum/ Royce hcs I love the way you interpret them 💛 just go off the rails plz

I am DEEPLY into dummybaby still even tho its been a while since i played cyberpunk 2077.. the tech stuff is cool in a lot of places but the only ppl who rllly wet my appetite for scifi humanity r the maelstrom and the little hints we get about how they function.. Im not like. adept w any technology i can barely keep my comp 2gether so i dont quite understand it, but the part about Maelstrom bodies or brains somehow amplifying music in Totentanz? Made me d r o o l

ANYWAYS im not gonna talk abt te canonical stuff i barely remember it i need 2 refreshen my brain abt it but ill give. u a quick reminder of how i visualize/characterize Dum dum mostly but ill also give some royce stuff and then ill just go ham w some headcanons abt their basic life.

2 me as like, one of the CHillest maelstrom, which, isnt saying a lot, but 2 me (maybe as an adhd person who experiences the same and mayyy be reflecting a bit teehee) hes someone whos experiencing some level of understimulation who gets over it w extremity.

I usually imagine ngl that its caused by being so overstimulated by an extreme enviroment for his whole life (i mean. night city yk?) that he needs constant punching to get through life. this makes for a vERY hollow feeling life for him but 2 me.

Royces chaos kinda enhances it for him 2 some kinda point of like. purpose? Almost? which is why he seems 2 have at least. like some mild genuine respect & dedication to him. yipee yk.

Royce is just batshit and he loves his music and is the exact opposite he seems 2 be full of energy and so on. Royce is hyped Dum dum is exhausted but seeking smth that feels real and alive and exeptional.

2 me. we get so little abt their personalities in game PLEASE leave me alone this is ENTIRELY speculation and reflective.

anyways yeah just some random stuff!!!!

bc of that i kinda like to think that they r both. unwell sleepers if that makes sense? Dont sleep enough. Royce sleeps naturally very little and dum dum keeps up w him. We doo see dum dum usually just hanging about, lounging, I can totally imagine him taking mininaps constantly, eyes flickering from time to time, head nodding. Snapping 2 awakenness suddenly when Royce starts speaking again.

ive looked at some rotations of dum dums model and some of his bodymods are DEFINETLY more just aesthetic than functional.. at LEAST his upper lip rings. Those r trditional piercings. Probably also is chin metal n much of the stuff around his mouth. Again im not technically adept and Idk what the designers were going for, but I'd love to think that also the cored part around his neck, where they've just taken a part around his spine and replaced it w a dent of metal, is fully appearences, just bc its so extreme and interesting. He likes his bodymods he enjoys the process!!!! Perhaps he even enjoys the care that goes into them, bodymods that heavy must require a lot of care.

I dont. think he has tattoos in his final design right? og dumdum had the tats? Though i do love to think that he got tattoos when he was younger but most of them have just gone through being torn apart by his later bodymodifications. Maybe he has some shitty stick & pokes somewhere thatd be cute. bonding w the boys.

he mentions he likes classic rock music- tbh i kinda love 2 imagine that hed also enjoy old movies/shows? classics enjoyer. i knoww they have like those brainfilms n shit but its rly hard for me to imagine film going out of style fully, just like books havent fully gone out of style bc movies exist. i dont remember if movies r much mentioned in the game though. STILL yeah I bet hed like some horror movies... He would 1000% watch texas chainsaw massacre etc, and movies from our day as classics. Midsommar w / dum dum sounds like a nightmare.

Secretly dumdums a lil interested in philosophy. He kinda dismisses stuff like that but he does have a secret admiration for the world and thoughts. This comes out particularly bc Royce has some weird ideas.

I think he must be running warm most of the time.... My friend asked me if i think his metal parts get cold enough for your tongue to get stuck and yeah thatd be funny he prolly hates cold weather and needs 2 wear a balaklava when its wintery outside so his metal parts dont freeze his face.

seeks purpose but u might not realize it bc hes made chaos his purpose

Litcherally never prolly thinks about cyberpsychosis. if e does, maybe he even wishes for it in some way? in a self destructive sense. Royce is more likely to experience it faster, though which i imagine would be a big blow 2 dumdum

Has a lot of CASUAL friends in the maelstrom but it never gets fully to the level of found family/genuine friends. Yes they have a lot in common, yes he spends all his time w them, but it often feels surface level to him, and "unreal". Hes found a more profound connection in Royce, but i feel like his admiration is a little one sided, and that he realizes it? But is like. whatever this is still nice.

dehydrated, forgets to eat and eats like shit when he does eat. Loves carbs and sugars. Possibly caues some of his exhaustion.

He kinda plays up his emotional outbursts!!!! He isnt that angry. He does it to assert dominance in a very outbursty enviroment. If he was in a chiller enviroment you could actually mess w him quite a lot and hed just laugh and mess back w you.

BOTTHH of their eyes can flicker 2 the beat of music like those old computer apps that played music and had some kinda visual indicator of the rythm. fuck w them

Dum dum prolly drives some kinda rly shitty van most of the time, just bc hes usually hanging out w so many people. Big driver in general!!! Not like a car/bike person but enjoys sitting at the wheel and feeling out how the car runs. usually a p good driver but sometimes he gets too focused on getting some adrenaline and becomes a bit of a mess of a driver.

#perhamps i reflect my own experiences on him a LITTLE too much but alas LMFAO #seeking. something. always #he means the world to me hes my beautiful man and i just got him in mudae on a server #yipee #dum dum #ask #anon #U TOLD ME TO GO OFF #LEAVE ME ALONE I LOVE HIM

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blood-bound · 1 year

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Are all of your WoD characters, generally, in one widespanning WoD or do they exist in separation, isolated from one another when looking at them from campaign to campaign?

excellent question / excuse to give a brief overview of my games.

I'm in 4 games!

The most recent one is a game I ST for for some random Reddit ppl, cause i wanted to help introduce someone to WoD. This has only had 1.5 sessions due to Scheduling Issues and is seperate from my other games, its set in 2018 Austin. I haven't talked about any characters from this game yet!

The other 3 are indeed supposed to be in the same WoD universe. I am the ST of one of them, and players in the other two.

One is a vampire game

One is a Hunter game (ST for this one!)

And the other is a Mage game (Technically mage the awakening which is chronicles of darkness and not WoD so idk youd have to ask my ST how he is making them compatiable.

The vampire game is set in 2000s Detroit and is where Mark and Sampson are <3

The Hunter game is set in Seattle 2007. I haven't posted much about this game yet but that one random character i posted abt like 30 mins ago is from here.

The Mage game is set in 1850s, in America, across various states as we are travelling through the west! This is where Porphyria, my mage is.

So far there hasn't been much overlap between the the hunter game and the others, other than some of the nosferatu currently in seattle had travelled there recently from Detroit (and they are having the Worst Luck in both cities... its a lil complicated but tldr the nosferatu primogen was caught lying abt something really important and skipped town and is now in seattle, and one of my Hunter PCs has it in his backstory that he blew up a major warren in Seattle and so is hated by the Nos lol)

But the vampire and mage game have more significant overlap:

Our mages basically destroyed the vampire Elysium in Independence MO, killing the prince and a lot of other kindred, and paved the way for a new Malkavain Prince, John, who by the 2000s is now the Malkavian Primogen in Detroit. Us baby mages tried to attack John directly and ended up having to cut a deal with him, and blood bonding... some woman to him that idk the significance of yet. I think it will become relevant that we did so. I WAS SOOO HYPE when we met him - I was like NO WAY IS THIS JOHN!?!? And it was! I met him in vampire before i did in mage. He's very strong now in Detroit! His thing is he is Obsessed with Being Normal and he actually is So Normal but like in a creepy way. My ST revealed he has at least 1 dot in every skill so he can be Normal at everything with a specialization in crafting paperweights. He dresses however is Normal for the time. So in 2000s Detroit he dresses like a grill dad. lol.

The other overlap is my ST revealed that a Tremere Mark knows in the vampire game is currently living in our Mage game as a mortal in California, and we may come across him. He told Mark his name was Kassidy, apparently he has a Korean name but it gets mispronounced so often he usually doesnt share it :( and he doesnt trust Mark enough to share it yet. In our vampire game, Kassidy seems to be interested in the psychology of vampires. He also seems very depressed. I don't know his story except that a song my ST based off of him is Message in a Bottle and "Heart' By Laura Branigan so I know there is Angst there waiting to be revealed... I'm kind of obsessed with him despite not knowing very much. I wanna meet him in our mage game SO BADLYYY

I think that is all the direct overlap other than that many vampires in the Detroit game are obviously alive and around in the mage game... but there won't be much overlap other than the above.

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ranboo5 · 2 years

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What's zablr

Takes a long slow sip of my cold brew, slams it down on the table

Might've told this story before I don't remember but I don't care to go looking. Get ready 4 a story of the most irrelevant low stakes niche fandom drama you've ever seen

A long long time ago. Around Feb 2021

So, motherfuckers HATE Philza Minecraft and they have always hated Philza Minecraft. Like it's the same problem as still very much exists today and is not confined to Philza – the way it can feel impossible to hang out in places related to DSMP without seeing neg of your little guy, right, and sometimes vile neg, like, not just wrong but genuinely distressing and fucked up. I'm sure you know the type anon you must be quite invested in the source to have any eye on this blog in 2022 and you must thus have some little guy who you've seen just the worst shit about. And hell I've probably posted stuff in that vein but I have tried to avoid it in past months so if you don't know wht Zablr is

But in Feb 2021 the fandom was obviously much bigger and more active – this being the era of active lore discourse and all – and aggressive Phil neg was not just annoyingly prevalent but quite literally unavoidable in the character's own main tag. The Philza tag was literally unusable shit was awful and it felt like any form of dissent from that was scattered and miserable. Boreal enjoyers in early 2021 were unavoidably and eternally fighting for our lives in the trenches

So some semi-influential bloggers (almost all of that old guard have moved on from DSMP by now and I'm not in contact with I think any that remain unless Nocturne count) started the Zablr tag instead so Philza enjoyers (by proxy, emerald and boreal enjoyers) could exchange content about our little guy without being, as aforementioned, in the mf trenches

It did not take long for the Discord to be ensuingly made and for Zablr to become a proper community. I think I joined in late February or sometime in March? Anyway, it seemed like an oasis at the time. A place where I could actually have takes that differed from fandom consensus! A place where I could talk about actual canon! A place where a mention of Philza didn't spiral into tirades about how much he sucked! Imagine that!

But even then like. I can't even say we should've known but the signs were there, yk? The administration system was SHOT (altho I didn't learn until later), there was barely any kind of genuine stability in it, etc..

I set up shop in the discourse channel bc I have always been Like This and. God okay the tragedy of Zablr rant chat is basically what this really ends up being. I can barely call it a decline bc it was never actually good! Red flags existed from the start! The effective dogpiling that happened the way we were as a community defined by the hostility outside... the us vs them mindset and the way Zaph (ZAPH! THE #1 PHILZA MINECRAFT SHOOTER!!!!) and I having an actual conversation abt Philza's flaws got told to leave were like . Fully inevitable. It was externally motivated bc like the place could not have existed and rotted w/o the trenches but it was also like. The infrastructure, formal or informal, to keep it alive never existed

In the later stages of Zablr attempts at getting more moderation and regulating rant chat more were made, including an extremely controversial decision of shutting it down fully, especially as more and more members new and old became more and more uncomfortable abt it, but it was too little too late yk. Bandaid on gangrene type of shit

There was functionally a mass exodus. Zablr hemorrhaged active members over April and while I still check in every so often it's like three ppl and nowhere close 2 what it once was yk? It's not fully dead but everyone who was involved at its peak days is inactive or gone and does not remember it too kindly

And I cannot emphasize enough here. I had good times in Zablr I met lovely friends in Zablr several of whom I'm still in contact with even in rant it was also absolutely a legitimate refuge from what was at the time an Unlivable larger fandom it was good it literally was

But at the same time . It never was. The seeds of its destruction were in there from the start and idk if we could have weeded it especially with the external pressures relevant. At the end of the day the discourse chat nuke and nuclear winter starving out the remainder of it slowly were not the beginning of the end but. Well. The end of it

Thinking back on it it seems fucking insane to me that this happened over like two months it seems like such a huge part of my experience with the DSMP like fuck it's still in my bio!!! But it was only a couple months!!! It's literally irrelevant!!!! What the mf hell!!!!!

Anyway that's why I'm a Dark Souls boss

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gallus-rising · 2 years

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ok something i’ve been thinking abt “structures as living bodies” thing and what i’ve noticed is most ppl talk abt either buildings that appear to have just naturally occurred are may or may not be growing, or our own homes being alive/haunted by themselves but i wanna stretch that to other structures

Blood Blockade Battlefront’s Hellsalem's Lot and Dorohedoro’s Hole are basically characters in the stories like

ok Hole hates sorcerers. though the citizens themselves are vulnerable to the sorcerers and may even be committing just as much evil as them, the entire city is actively hostile to sorcerers no matter their intentions. it’s almost always raining in Hole and the rain makes sorcerers sick. Hole eventually becomes a physical person made of hate that all the protags need to team up to stop

Hellsalem’s Lot is arguably just as dangerous, but it’s just. Chill. Hellsalem’s Lot just appeared one day and no one knows why. it’s just there sitting neutrally sitting where New York used to be and was likely brought there against it’s will. despite all the crazy magic and the fact the some parts of the city even move around, everything that’s unequivocally bad is caused by ppl trying to control the city. our protag Leo even runs a “humans of New York” style blog! it’s never a plot point, but it’s always there, always influencing ppl

FMA’s Amestris was artificially created, every one of its borders was sanctified by blood. Sloth dug its body out of the earth for centuries before the country was even fully formed, and Father lives in the veins beneath Central City

ships in One Piece are alive. the Going Merry was alive. she tried to keep herself going for as long as she could. she appeared after a major battle by herself to save the characters and died. they held a funeral for her in one of the most impactful scene in the manga, and is a series where characters rarely narrate via thought bubbles, the Merry tells us how happy she was to go on adventures w the Strawhats

fuckin hell! we sent Perseverance to Mars w a family portrait! the basis of 17776 is that our satellites survived up in space for so long they became alive! i just think that this means something

#*furious pecking*#idk idk #i am Thinking

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troglobite · 1 year

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jalsdkjflkdj

i just realized that there are two major social forces rn that are at odds and it's eating me alive

public discourse around social justice is major. 👍🏼

but so is the anti-cringe, anti-sincerity bullshit.

i'm just sort of like [confused bisexual brazilian woman trying to do math] about that.

someone called voyager cringe and i'm like ??? bc they're around 40, have embraced their own style, are very sincere, and maybe have elements of goofy personalities and senses of humor?

why the fuck do you care? why is that embarrassing? grow the fuck up.

i'm tired of this shit where you can't be sincere

i try to be sincere w my friends and they act like they're fucking allergic (again if you're reading this it most likely doesn't apply to you)

and i'm really tired of it

i feel like some "well meaning" ppl have appropriated and weaponized sincerity to be nice instead of kind maybe? and now, what, we're just supposed to never be sincere abt anything?

you're just never supposed to believe anyone unless they're being a giant fucking asshole abt it, or super negative?

like hello, isn't that the problem w the far right? they don't believe that any of us sincerely think that healthcare education housing and food should be free. they don't believe in sincerity. they mock it.

and i feel like ppl on the left act the same fucking way.

you can decide in every interpersonal reaction whether you believe or trust someone, what your reaction and response is going to be, etc.

but i just feel like ppl deride "positivity" and sincerity, still, and call shit cringe

and the things they call cringe are either

completely innocent shit that is just something sincere and maybe "weird", if even that

someone being bigoted in a really stupid way, or being ignorant and doubling down

and it's like

you could just call them that instead of calling them cringe

and lumping that in with your hatred of the sweet and sincere

like i'm sorry, we want to abolish prisons and police--but you wanna be a fucking jackass to every person you meet and think sarcasm and irony are the only way to operate?

idk i just see it as this weird dissonance and i'm realizing it's what makes me VERY uncomfortable

bc i am a deeply sincere person who had to learn to make jokes and be ironic and sarcastic

and i still do for fun, of course, bc we all need a healthy dose of nonsense and funsies

and idk what to do when my sincerity is only okay when i'm angry abt something

and never in any other context

being a sincere fan of something once it's fallen out of popularity is "cringe"

and i'm really tired

as someone who was bullied for a million reasons, including being weird and cringey, for like my whole fucking life--

i'd really like it if we as grown fucking adults who are smarter and better than that could fucking stop it and learn to accept sincerity into our fucking lives

sincerity has EVERY place in social justice discourse--including ppl being able to sincerely apologize without everyone not believing them or writing them off

again, everyone gets to decide on a case by case basis how they respond to situations

but in general it's like....we're really prioritizing ironic detachment and scholarly speak bc that's what the right demands of us, but then we use it with each other and that just fucking sucks, dude

if we can't have sincerity and be "cringey" around those we have to defeat in public discourse

then why can't we have it with each other?

anyway. was just thinking.

ETA:

case in point

in reading over this myself, i started internally cringing bc i'm like "wow i sound like a white person asking everyone to play nice"

but i'm literally NOT

i'm half-white and also i'm asking for sincerity that isn't just critical. that allows ppl to feel things fully and without shame. loving things, each other, being wrong, being apologetic, being upset, being afraid, being nervous.

those can all be sincere

as can the sincere belief in what a just and righteous world looks like

and of course bc of our context that makes us mad a lot of the time

but if we're not operating out of a place of love for others, what are we even fucking doing here?

and love doesn't mean passive sweetness

it CAN be sweet

but sweet can also look different for different people and different contexts

sincerity is more than that

i'm not saying "play nice" i'm saying be real and vulnerable when and where you can

we should trust each other more and feel things for real with each other, bc otherwise, what the fuck are we doing?

am i supposed to just be like "yep, the only person i can be fully vulnerable with is my therapist" and think that that's okay? NO!!!

be sincere! be vulnerable! MEAN it! love things! don't put caveats or shame on things! it's okay to be wrong and apologetic! to sincerely not know something and ask questions. to gracefully accept and answer, etc.

idfk man i'm just. yeah.

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dip-the-stick · 2 years

Note

Feel free to ignore!! I just saw your post I wanted to reply (on anon bc i'm shy) I've seen the gay panic response used in like, relation to crimes, but I have been seeing it used like that less and less. There's been pushes in some areas to make it so it's not considered an acceptable defense under any circumstances, so hopefully one day that usage of the term will just be piece of history. For years though, I've far more frequently heard it used in a positive light. Like specifically, that moment of panic when you realize you have queer feelings for someone, whether it's a crush or just seeing someone so attractive you start fumbling your words. Like, at least 95% of the times I've heard the phrase in my entire life has been this sort of context, both online and offline. I think it's a matter of like People want to reclaim what's been used against them, and turn something that's ugly into something beautiful And there are people who'll only know it in those more positive context and not realize some people still remember are still uncomfortable with it Those who have the right to want to reclaim it have every right But it's still reasonable that some people are uncomfortable with it and those feelings are valid too And that always gets a little complicated because people can feel very differently and very strongly about it but neither side is wrong about it I think those who have taken it to be something positive and meaningful to them are okay to do so, but if they encounter someone who communicates that they personally aren't comfortable with it, they don't have to stop using the term but should be mindful around those who would prefer not to hear it I know some slurs I technically have the right to reclaim but I still am uncomfortable with them, but I also don't blame those in my community who want to reclaim them despite my own discomfort It feels like it's a similar situation If that makes any sense?

( this is abt this post btw)

Yes! this is mostly the sort of thing i was thinking of before making that post tbh. for most of my life i had no idea where the term originated and had only heard its positive connotation, so i would use it whenever i saw a pretty girl at the grocery store and suddenly i didnt know how to form words

but bc i recently learned the original meaning and how people have used it to defend themselves for killing queer people in the past, i just started thinking abt it and whether or not other ppl knew about it. its fucking horrible that its still legal some places i did not know that idk why i thought things would be better now so that sucks.

anyways, i think its rlly great that younger queers or just people who weren't aware of it while it was at its height dont really have the harmful connotation in their minds when they use the term. im glad that they can use it as a way to express their excitement (and overall dorky fluffy feelings) at being attracted to ppl in a queer way! i was just a bit shocked when i learned the original meaning bc its so completely different from the positive version of it.

overall, obviously its super important to be informed about queer history (there's a phrase that went along side gay panic called trans panic btw. christ alive) but it also makes me super happy that we are able to take this stuff back and use it for ourselves to be happy and expressive about our identities while dismantling the anti-queer sentiments they held in the past.

#hope this makes sense lol my brain is all over today #asks #anon!!

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket Manga Review, ch (92-93)

That was painful & so well-written! This analysis will focus on kyokyo mainly & faintly on her effect on kyo. Although, her story affects tohru’s life immensely, I won’t analyze tohru’s part & will wait until it’s a tohru’s chapter to use the knowledge of kyoko’s past to better read tohru’s mind & understand her decisions! Can’t wait! after all, that’s why I’ve read the manga to begin with!

-Kyoko’s Atonement: (the weight of words):

Kyoko breaks down after she learns she’s expecting. Why? cuz she hurt her mom. The notion that “yeah my parents caused me emotional trauma & so I’mma hurt them as well” is toxic & burdening as it starts a cycle of pain. Kyoko was right. She had no idea how her mom felt seeing her rebel, or follow violence or hear her harsh words. I’m not cleansing the mom from guilt nor responsibility. I’m just saying since the mom’s pov is blocked from us, assuming shes similar to the dad is wrong. kyoko’s fear of being punished with a child similar to herself is genuine, realistic & refreshing to see expressed in anime! usually character like kyoko are cool & brave, but here she’s humanly weak & doubtful. LOVE IT!

Moreover, in furuba words weigh on ppl & have consequences. We see this with kyo. His dad destroyed him verbally with words “ not my fault, it’s yours” that kyo echoes back to yuki! meaning the consequences of the dad’s words cause harm to his wife, kyo & even yuki!. Kyo was tormented with his own words for long time & clung to them even more in order not to resort to suicide! “ not my fault, it’s the rat’s” . Words can crush you down so bad if you hear them from loved ones, & worse if you utter them back to other loved ones! here kyoko learned that just the mere thought of her future child echoing her words back to her would torment her to death! Excellent writing!

-Katsuya invented Furuba’s vision (Accepting weakness & moving on):

The teachings of kyoko & tohru were really katsuya’s after all. I’m fne with that. These teachings are the core of Furuba’s vision. He tells kyoko to accept that she’s weak, afraid & doubtful. it’s okay. But gives her tools to move on. Your kid isn’t you. They’re an individual person. As parents all we can do is give love/hugs (sth kyoko’s parents didnt do), listen to them (sth yuki’s parents didnt do) & if they do sth wrong will explain it & teach them well (sth kyo’s parents didn’t do, his wrong deed was being born a cat spirit & he was hated for it with no explanation, mom gave lots of “fake” love & escaped by death, dad became a raging monster). Accepting weakness & moving on is what the cursed sohmnas needed to do to heal & what tohru taught them. Off course, tohru herself struggled to follow her own teachings & that’s amazingly realistic!

-Kyoko’s guilt (punishment brings ease):

Kyoko wanted to be punished so harsh for her husband’s death. The gossip got to her. She failed him as a life’s companion. Taking care of our loved ones is a duty we carry with much love & care. Them slipping away is perceived as us failing by none than ourselves. The thing is, death comes with no warning at times. It was his time to leave. Accepting it or not, wont bring him back, but accepting it will help kyoko deal with pain while not accepting will cause more pain for her & tohru.

One of the most painful things abt grief is that it’s personal. Life continues around you. Only you feel it. “didn’t the world end when katsuya died”. No kyoko. Only you died emotionally. Only him died physically. Kyo once said “ mom why didn’t you kill me instead”. A different reaction to grief, guilt & pain, but same conclusion: neither katsuya nor kyo’s mom are coming back no matter how much pain kyo or kyoko felt.

Kyoko found ease in emotional death, neglecting & refusing life, punishing herself for staying after him.

kyo found ease in rage & blaming others as he his father did, later he’ll escape to emotional & physical slow death “ cat cage/confinement”.

tohru... found ease in pretending "I’m okay” & her mom is alive.. but not physically.. emotionally, so she’ll ignore the truth & live only for her.

Didn’t I say grief is harsh, weird & very very personal. It’s hard to explain, deal with & heal. The mere words of consolation hurt cuz the grieving ones dont want to accept loved one are really gone. Her dad’s harsh words cemented the “emotional death” that kyoko felt. I’m not needed. neither katsuya. nor parents in general. depression. misery. sadness. emptiness.

-The tv show helped to trigger kyoko’s desire to “meet” katsuya. She has already reached the conclusion that she isnt needed. So, the tv show with their words of the deceased wanting you to be happy. triggered her into misinterpreting the words as to mean her death NOT fuel her to live in his memory as intended.

- “Loosing your way first before finding your answer” is okay & so human!:

Ironically..Tohru... was the person Kyoko was punishing NOT herself: By being emotionally dead, kyoko neglected her daughter. Her world shouldnt be just one person. There are others. Katsuya himself gave her a person to love. Tohru. Kyoko chose death & unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher thsn what kyoko faced. She was about to do, but was saved by a nameless child who reminded her of tohru. She chose wrong first but later saw her answer. Kyo chose death by accepting the confinement & he, too, unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher if he wasnt with her. He chose wrong first but later saw his answer. Off course kyo’s story is more developed & complicated as he dealt with bigger issues than just tohru & his answer wasn't just loving tohru alone but also loving himself & choosing to live for them both: himself & tohru.

-Kyo’s guilt is a concussion thought eating him alive:

Part of why kyo’s story was one of the most human & complex is due him loosing his way first, failing, repeating mistakes “ I always though that hurting ppl was the only thing I was good at, after all, isnt that why mom died?” Kyo’s nightmare being a conscious effect of hearing tohru’s talk abt “ videos & memories of loved ones” is 1000 times stronger & more human than a cliche effect of seeing a “ hat” & to revive a a blocked memory... What the hell!! truly disgusting how the emotional weigh is reduced for stupid cliche drama !!!!!! ..

Anyway, kyo actively & consciously wanted punishment .He was sure that kyoko blamed him” I wont forgive you” can only mean what it literally means. The purpose of the nightmare is to cause kyo to seek “ emotional death” like kyoko & to loose his path more. It is meant to prepare kyo to refuse tohru even more. Therefore, the pay off at the climax will be better & stronger.

Reading kyo’s inner thoughts will never not be refreshing!!! Also, the slow burn is cooked on low , hot fire , so the pay off will be the most delicious there is!

Side Notes:

I’ve stated my feelings regarding the age gap between kyoko & katsuya in last chapter’s preview post. I’m done with it & won’t let it interfere with my analysis of kyoko nor tohru.

The idea of just being together as a fun hanging out activity without being bothered much of where reminds ms so much of kyo & tohru!! we see them being happy together in the anime in kazuma’s house, shigure’s rooftop, cooking pancake in the kitchen! I really like this domestic feel of romance! it contradicts the notion of expensive restaurant with the girl wearing a breathtaking dress to woo the guy for it to be utterly romantic as we see in movies, & other stories.

NGL, katsuya looked sexy waiting home.. damn it! >_<

I cried watching tohru between her parents, how they acted & how loved she was! T_T. it reminded me of my niece How her dad’s death affected her! She was the apple of his eyes.. T_T.

Tohru is indeed a rice ball! her dad gave her a masculine name while tohru is so feminine! his reasoning is “finding salty taste in sweet things make the taste better & stronger, kinda giving it a hidden flavour”, the rice ball has a pickle inside it & it’s what makes the taste so savory & delicious!

Grandpa’s “ chance meetings could lead to variety of outcomes, good or bad” YES! kyo/tohru/yuki meeting each other by chance. Fiction make it look weird, but trust me, real life has those by dozens!

“ i wonder how lost you’ll be, how much time you’ll need to get your answer”. He will screw up so bad, kyoko! it will be so good! one of the best screw up’s I’ve seen! so painful for him & tohru & amazingly written!

Kyo’s nightmare being connected to him remembering/dreaming of kyoko’s story is bigger effect than opening the ep with it & having the cause be sth that happened last ep, a week ago... the effect is NOT the same.

Momiji is so cute!!! did his curse break here or not yet? he seemed as tall as tohru.

Writing tohru worried abt kyo after seeing him pale is the tohru I know!! Not that stupid girl who watches the guy she loves have a panic attach in se3, ep6, then goes in ep 7...” dahhhh.. Jeez.. I duno why kyo is sleeping until now.. better laugh & make cute rice cakes” giggle giggle...That scene got me so furious even when I first saw it!! THIS IS NOT TOHRU! tohru cried for a stupid story that haru told abt puppets!! she’ll forget the person she challenges herself for is sick?! ugh!

I love seeing yuki & kyo chill & cool around each other.

Kyoko being fully dependent on katsuya can be a factor in her grief, but I’ve seen cases where both partners are independent but still be completely broken after the others’ death. Grief isn’t logical at all & is extremely personal.

#Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #ch 92 #ch 93 #sad paper #Anime Only #manga spoilers

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

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alexiaugustin · 3 years

Text

good morning mutuals and everyone else on tumblr who is cool and made my year! this is gonna be my mutuals appreciation post 2020 because if anything good happened this year then it's getting to know all of you guys so there's that. i love you all so so sooo much and always love to see y'all and your gif sets / memes / crack posts /rants / edits and so on and so forth on my dash. you made this year beautiful and i just wanna thank u for that!💘💘 (also im sorry if the picture above activates anyone's fight response i just thought that it would fit if i went back to where it all started)

@engelkeijsers mare my love i don't even have words to describe how much i love you and am happy to have you in my life. i consider you one of my closest friends by now and that's why i always message you whenever exciting shit happens in my life (or whenever shit goes down that ofc depends🤪). our phone calls were so fucking funny and i loved talking to you sooo much i can't wait to meet you in real life one day!!💖 please feel hugged you're such a beautiful human.

@dreamaur ann my beloved mutual i love you from the bottom of my heart and just wanna thank you for being the cute bitch that u are who always remembers our mutuals anniversary like....🥺🥺 i just love that we always watch and read and stan the same things like what kind of soulmutuals behavior is this?. can't wait for s&b to air so we can always freak out about kaz and inej and everyone else together. i'm kissing your cheek and wish you the absolute best for 2021 because u deserve the best😽

@sotorubio silja i love you and your blog so much you just have such a galaxy brain and you're so eloquent and your blog is one of the few that i check on regularly because i don't wanna miss a single post you make. here's a fun fact before i properly got to know you i thought that you were sooo intimating i don't even know why and then we started talking at some point and i was like "hold on a second they are SO lovely and warm actually and not intimating at all hdhdh" as you might have figured out by now i always love talking to you about skames or rant about 13rw and everything else. i just love u!!!🧡

@helmtaryn aurore you are probably the first person who ever started talking to me on here and so it all began and we always talked abt skam france before s6 started and during and you're just such a wonderful person!! thank you for always being there for me and helping me with my french homework i truly cannot thank you enough for that because you're constantly saving my ass jdhd. you're just so fun to talk to and such a talented gif maker like... for real your gif sets always knock me out and you're always so original in what you gif🥺❣

@geminibf i know i've told you that before but your blog is my comfort blog on here literally just seeing your posts on my dash always makes my day and you're one of the most beautiful ppl i've ever known like how do you even manage to do that🥺💘 plus you're sooo talented at this point im convinced that there's absolutely nothing that you cannot do so yeah i have no idea where this sentence is going but i guess what im trying to tell u is that i love u and im so happy to be ur friend

@alterlovex niiiii❣❣❣ you're not even like a tumblr mutual you're like my tumblr sister (figure out what the hell this is supposed to mean jdjd) and you were one of the first people who hyped my stupid posts up and it always made me go 🥺😭. i started following you despite the fact that u had a wtfock icon (honorary) and i absolutely never regretted it. you're so beautiful and warm and so is your blog and i will try to talk more to u again in 2021. im virtually sending you so many flowers🌷🌻🌸💐

@jorgecrespo you're just the coolest bitch alive. i followed you for your skam rankings and stayed for your whole entire personality. every post you make truly just slaps, you never miss, and i relate to you so much jdjd. the way you answer anon messages will forever be my favorite thing about your blog and just the way you talk in general like without even seeing your url i always know when it's you who wrote a post. i love you❕❕💖

@jusdekiwi you and aurore are the reason why french people deserve rights, you are such a lovely and genuine person and i absolutely love you and your chill vibes on your blog. also thank you for helping me out with my french homework thingy once like. thank you so so much for being so lovely and taking your time julia!🌻

@suburbanenigma carmen i love you and all of your posts and just the vibes on your blog!!! also omfg your riverdale side blog always makes me laugh soo much i truly cannot wait for s5 to air so we can make fun of it together because i will live blog the shit out of it too!! you're just one of the coolest bitches ever i don't know how else to say it. i love you and cant wait to talk to you more next year. you're such a blessing for this hellsite🦋✨

@sundaymorninghangover julian you are one of my oldest friends on here and i've loved you ever since i found your blog and figured out that u were a part of the having taste club (skames fandom) too!! you're so chill!!! i love your brain!! i love your posts!!! and most importantly i love you. please keep on blessing my dash with your cool posts because they are definitely appreciated and loved in this house. also i miss your frog icon (please don't hit me in case it wasn't a frog) it just spoke volumes about your vibes but i love ur new one too!! still associate the purple heart with you so here it is 💜💜

@lesbeanfatou clara you simply are an angel. you used to have a nora grace icon and i went: that's it, she's the one, she has taste im gonna follow!! and look it was one of the best decisions ever. you're my favorite chaotic n cool mosquito hater and i just love you so much and you made my year beautiful!! thank you for always listening to me when i came into your inbox to have a break down (positive or negative) over the we feel in love in october girl and thank you for teaching me how make edits!!!💐💘

@aoixe you're one of my favorite skamfr hate blogs and certain men hate blogs (if u know u know) i always love talking and ranting with you and am so glad that we're sometimes just dming!! you're vibes are so cool a d you seem like such a chill person i love you and wish you all the best for 2021!!❣❣

@fatoudixon ana i love you and your blog so so much and especially your druck reaction videos on youtube!! you seem like such a genuine and beautiful person and even though we're not talking much please just know that im always happy to see you on my dash. happy new year to you!!💘💘

@cash-queens sam🥺 you're so sweet and kind this hell site truly doesn't even deserve you but we all love that you're here anyway!! i would protect you with my life and i hope that we will get to talk more in 2021 because you're such a lovely person and for now im just gonna wish u a happy new year✨

@avaceleste sophiaaa💌 you've been here ever since the very beginning of skamfr season 6 and i always love talking to you and long live our eliola jokes, you were probably the person i started this cult with so here is our eliola emoji starterpack one more time in 2020 💏🌧🎬

@hashtag-ohboy-nicetry i have no idea whose side blog this was but the url alone made my entire year🤭🤞

@ random love anon❤ i love you and hope that 2021 will be a good year for you because you absolutely deserve it!!! wishing u nothing but the best i always love to see you around!💐💘

all the other amazing blogs i love and am always happy to see on my dash (doesn't matter if we're mutuals or not)

@floraflorenzi / @bi-kieu-my / @gumptin / @thegirlnooneknows5 / @littleweirdoss / @sohereisthisasshole / @noramachwtz / @nori-in-pink / @ayellowcurtain / @mailinrichter / @ijzermanora / @fudgetunblr / @lesbianfatous / @norgestan / @cfgc / @avaspereira / @theflowerisblue / @smblmn / @jon-astronaut / @amiraamore / @parelmoer / @stqrz 💘❣💐🦋💌🌸

i wish all of you a very happy new year and thank you for all of your gifs, posts, translations, fanfics & edits you all truly make this place beautiful❕💘

#mutuals appreciation #i rly hope that i didn't forget anyone

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blackwoolncrown · 3 years

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I literally thought of you with that post especially the stupid ‘reptile’ and ‘animorph’ comments. Like how hot is it in TX rn? And it’s not fortunate that you’re where you are, but you ARE holding it down (which good on you bc wtf is with the AC situation there???)

Like it’s not a punishment, it’s not comfortable either. It’s not easy nor is it fun. It’s not even fair for many people like you (white yuppies I don’t care abt like if they’re uncomfortable oh well get through it babes). But the fact is that it’s actually normal and natural for humans, and necessary for many of us. And to act so put upon when so many people RIGHT NOW- like you for instance- are ACTIVELY doing it and don’t have a choice is what irks me. Especially when again these calls to action are actually aimed at privileged abled folks and not ppl like us anyway.

I live in FL and every hurricane season I am mentally and physically prepared to lose my power for up to a month (bc the power companies are NOTORIOUSLY shit and picky about where they restore power and anyway hurricane seasons are becoming more erratic). When that happens I have neither AC nor hot water.

I know conditions like this can happen at any time and also I intend to leave where I live now and go live somewhere with less contemporary comforts.

So what am I doing now? It’s around 90 or more daily but I keep the ac at 79 max and the only reason it’s not higher is that sometimes there are issues w spoilage (hot and humid isn’t easy to keep food in, just a heads up). Whenever feasible and I don’t specifically need to treat muscle pain I take cold baths. Not on some treandy wym hof (?) shit but bc on the real most ppl globally don’t just turn a knob and have hot water come out and it won’t hurt me to get used to not having that constantly.

It’s really uncomfortable and jarring at first!! But your body CAN adjust, and that’s all we’re saying. If we have bodies that can do this, let’s use that ability to at the very least deal with the present a little more comfortably so we can continue from where we’re at without losing our shit with how wildly jarring and u ncomfortable things are getting. We are alive in ridiculously chaotic times and need to be able to get through it with as much internal balance as we can muster, precisely because we believe in arriving at a better future.

The entire Earth is uncomfortable. Personally I’m willing to bear a bit of that if it helps me keep on right now to do what I can to help the situation.

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finnstansonly · 4 years

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staying up till four venting really saved me from the bullshit today like i feel so free. me and my girls are gonna say what we need to say and then go back to minding our business bc sitting in this shit again is not fun. but seeing the notes pile up on me and the black finn girls talking abt our like traumatic anger really makes me so furious bc were out here trying to articulate everything and ppl with almost no stake in it are hitting that reblog button clapping in the tags and it’s like...you do not care. you don’t actually care bc y’all don’t ever say shit. Your experience to what we’re talking abt is so incredibly superficial. We’ll literally say “yeah y’all tookthis thing we loved, this thing John loved, and made it into a living hell for years like a truly awful experience all around” and then some person in the tags literally not affected at all will be like “finally someone said it 😩” like...you could have said it.

the number of black fans that got literally ran out of the fandom for saying anything, the ones who became so dejected and so numb that they fizzled out, the ones like me and the few of my gorls (the rest of which are like triggered at the mere mention of Star Wars) who refused to leave and regularly received the dumbest rudest most evil anons alive while also being constantly reminded of all the horrible shit in our inboxes like we were confessions blogs when that shit genuinly made us sick to the stomach at the thought of it. But let’s see what this black person has to say abt this racist thing that happened for the millionth time!! The amount of times I’ve been like “send me stuff abt Finn let’s party” and I open my inbox to see “remember xyz thing that happened that was so angering and upsetting? That was crazy” like...yes I remember we never talk abt anything else. can you send me something fun for once?

think abt why you wanna bring this shit up completely unprompted and what you think I’m gonna think seeing that over and over again. Like what response are you imagining I’m gonna give? You either want me to get mad so I can say something angry and black or....what? you already know how I feel, so what is the real motive? Exactly. If you want that stimulus so bad go talk abt your own feelings on your own blog that’s literally what it’s for. I’m not gonna sit here and let you bring up upsetting shit to me for the fiftieth time. Especially not for free.

We’re not the Wendy’s twitter account saying things for clicks were actual ppl who are actually upset about actual racism actual antiblackness actually happening in front of us every day and you’d do well to remember that

#mo the force be with u #long post

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theharellan · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: stolen from @dansiere tagging: @ghiassan, @deathsreflection, @altuspavus, @windrunnerrs (velanna), @hopewrought, @willbeshot, @seahaloed (iron bull), @asterfed (noctis), @ anyone who wants to steal it! also multis feel free to choose a different character

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated (i’m open to roleplaying with non-dragon age characters, and have AUs for other fandoms)

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. solas is both wildly popular and wildly hated. he’s been more consistently popular than the controversial women in the series, like sera or vivienne, who have only recently begun to get to the point where their tags are less vitriolic (although i’m sure it’s still out there), but there’s still a sizable hatedom that can’t have his name breathed in their vicinity w/o them talking abt how much they hate him. even if you’re currently cosplaying him!

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. again, you have ppl who are super into him and ppl who think he’s ugly. my personal opinion is that i think he’s weirdly pretty, and wish ppl would commit more to his unconventional features rather than try to chisel him into sb more traditionally attractive and that ppl who don’t find him attractive would maybe chill w/ calling him ugly. find him unattractive by all means, but lets embrace the fact that inquisition let their love interests have skin flaws etc and accept that some won’t be our cups of tea.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. its hard to deny at this point tbh.

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. frustrating as the hate in the tags he has enough fans that i couldnt say he’s underrated w/ a straight face.

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO. he’s the reason the game starts with a bang and not the inevitable dissolution of the conclave b/c the sides are disparate.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. regardless of solas’ relationship with the inquisitor, there are parallels and contrasts in their stories and he also is the reason they survive inquisition.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. fen’harel is well-known and revered, if feared, among the dalish, yet at the same time he’s not remembered for a lot besides locking the gods away-- and the context of that decision has also been lost. as solas he’s relatively unknown until inquisition and especially trespasser.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. again, polarising!! he has loyal agents and people are willing to speak well of him despite everything, including his enemies sometimes (depending mostly on the inquisitor).

How strictly do you follow canon? — generally i try to have a canon basis for my interpretation, even if i interpret the text differently than the author.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — solas is an immortal who is simultaneously jaded and very much invested in the small moments of life. far from being weary of the day-to-day lives of ordinary people, it is systems and orders he is most tired of. he walks an interesting line that feels far less misanthropic than other immortal characters i’ve experienced, yet still he’s quite cynical. as a character who has fought against religious based tyranny before, but in a completely different era, he is in a unique position where what he sees around him is both horrifyingly familiar and yet completely new. it allows an exploration of the wrongs of thedas’ society from an outsider’s perspective. his motivations are complex and multifaceted, often condemnable and yet also understandable. his character arc in inquisition (if befriended, or regardless in the case of my solas) takes him from a dispassionate, disconnected antagonist to someone deeply invested in the people of thedas, deeply conflicted and actively hoping he will be proven wrong again. i think his story is a testament to human (or elven, or dwarven, or-) connection and how even when we resist we can’t resist creating bonds with the people in our lives. i personally see this bond going beyond the inquisitor hence why i play low-approval solas as conflicted as high-approval, if not when it comes to the inquisitor.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — solas is selfish and motivated solely by revenge, he’s clinging to a past that clearly no longer exists, if you ignore all the people from it who are still alive. he’s totally unaware of all his flaws and never owns up to any mistakes ever. no, i haven’t listened to a single word solas has said in my life why do you ask. he’s also critical of my faves which means he’s #cancelled, there is clearly no validity to what he’s saying. ksjdf no but in all seriousness i think a lot of reasons ppl don’t find solas interesting are just... weird readings of his character that sometimes have no basis in the text of inquisition, but also there are plenty of perfectly valid reasons to not find him interesting. usually those ppl don’t like... talk abt how much they don’t find him interesting constantly tho. they just chill and aren’t invested in this particular villain. for one thing i think the game missed out on opportunities for exploring how someone who may not have even had a body at the beginning of his existence would feel about gender and sexuality, so making him presumably straight and cis was a boring choice. i also think that the dragon age games being very protagonist-centric hurts solas’ character, there’s no real reason why the inquisitor is the only one who can throw his plans into question but making the player the center of the universe means he’s not allowed to change due to the effects of other companions or NPCs. thank god this is rp and i do what i want.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — i have a history degree so when the inquisition companions were being teased, solas describing bias in primary sources from the memories he’s seen got me interested in him. but my first playthrough i didn’t actually take him with me all too often, i think my main party was dorian-blackwall-varric. i liked him, and i think he or dorian were my first friends in skyhold, but my initial interest was in other characters. between his dialogue that appealed to the historian in me tho and how his spirit opinions sort of turned everything i’d felt about spirits in the last two games on its head, i started vibing with him more the farther i went in. like merrill set me up for the “spirits are people” thing and solas hit it out of the park. then temple of mythal happened, and i did bring solas with me there. i found his dialogue fascinating and also suspicious, i’d just finished masked empire like the day before da:i came out so i definitely thought solas was an ancient elf in the same vein as felassan. it was after temple of mythal that i actually decided to make his blog, although like as one idk linchpin to cement my status as solas trash... i was hit BAD by the banter bug on my first playthrough, probably got like a dozen banters total. but then at some point late in the game i took solas to the forbidden oasis and he wouldn’t stop talking to people, and i really loved his banter with the rest of my party at the time.

What keeps your inspiration going? — replaying inquisition, new DA content when the bioware gods deign to grant us a lifeline, but the biggest thing is my rp partners. i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the people i write with, new and old. my activity of late hasn’t been the best, work and the summer heat has really been sapping me of energy, and does even during years when we aren’t going through a pandemic. but it’s the thought of my rp partners and love of solas that keeps me coming back.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? i have my doubts sometimes, but i think i do ok.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / SORT OF? there is no headcanon too small for me.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. but not lately * gestures to the low activity * i’ve been in this cycle where i get anxious abt late replies, so prioritise them, then burn myself out and can’t write the fics i want. i’ve had two i’ve been DYING to write tho i just... need to find the space in my brain to let myself.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. i mean it depends on the day. if i work closing shifts at my store it gets very quiet and boring around 8:30 so i spent the next 90 minutes thinking about character stuff.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF?

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO / SOMETIMES.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO / SORTA.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — i’m going to say ‘no’ because like, i don’t ask for criticism. this is a hobby based on my interpretation of a character, if you think i write solas too soft then you’re welcome to think that, but i’m happy with the balance i’ve struck with his internal versus external behaviour and how he changes based upon who he’s speaking to. if you think i’m erasing straight people by making solas pan then ksjdfs. ok.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — yes!!! even if they retread ground already trodden, a) my interpretation may have adjusted since the last time i played or b) a reminder is nice. if it’s new stuff then it’s fun to think about.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — it’d depend on why they disagree. if they just disagree on a subjective opinion about what i took from a certain line, then they’re welcome to their opinion but i don’t necessarily care to hear it. if it is unintentionally hurtful then i would like to know. although rather than a comment i’d rather a non-anonymous message.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — same as the above.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — if they’re vocal about it i typically just unfollow / softblock if i was following in the first place. people can feel how they want about solas, but i’ve found over the years that if people really hate solas ooc it can often bleed into their ic interactions. it’s really weird seeing your character being brought up repeatedly in threads with others specifically to dunk on, for no reason other than i guess solas is living rent free in their heads, so at least we have that in common. but anyway unfollowing is just the best choice to avoid getting kinda pressed if i’m having a bad day.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — roleplay is the wild west of writing, so i think it’d depend on what the error was. coming at me like “you shouldn’t start a sentence with a preposition” would get a laugh, but i don’t edit my replies much if at all and mistakes will 100% happen. pointing out typos is chill so long as you do it politely.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — it depends! i’ve learned that being too easy going actually just means i’m subjecting myself to negative emotions to please people. so i’ve gotten less easy going as the years go by. how does one define “easy going” anyway? does asking that question mean i am objectively not easy going? the longer this thought goes on the more the answer seems to be “probably not,” but i like to think it could be a lot worse.

#( long post )#( ooc )#( about me )

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tslasvegas · 3 years

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Episode 13: “What a depressing trip to Las Vegas” - Jaiden

I just have one thing to say.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! It worked! I didn't expect Joey to vote with us. I feel bad about that, but hey, we couldn't see him being sincere. If he told us who the others were voting for, then maybe we would have changed votes. Jaiden was open to it already. Kailyn is probably the one who voted with John for Liv. Maybe she thought he would play and idol or maybe jury management. Anyway, she should have told us.

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Joey got voted out. Which was not supposed to happen this round. Pat and Jeff are just so naive and easily to manipulate. I’m sure they could be convinced to self vote without any real effort. I don’t even want to bother working with them moving forward because of it. But I might have to. I can’t let grudges get in the way of getting to the end game. Honestly at this point I’d be happy going to F3 with Liv and Kailyn. Xavier is too nice. Jaiden is too... out there? Love him, but I don’t want to sit next to him at the end. And Pat and Jeff i just don’t think they deserve to make it that far

I still can’t believe tribal tonight was real. It’s been like six hours and I’m still in shock that Joey finally went home. Like... what??? I’ve been dealing with that dude for three weeks and I’ve held his little secret in until it finally came of use to me, and... now I’m in the final seven. The game has NOT been won yet and while I feel like cheering and celebrating, I need to maintain my focus and center myself as the game is nowhere close to being over yet. We’ve still got at least four tribals to go, but after tonight I might be able to say that I’m exactly halfway through the merge (assuming it’s a final three... dear god please be a final three). Top eight was a really hard mountain to climb and once I lost immunity I felt a little out of touch with what was gonna happen next. I really felt like my time was going to come, and I’m so thankful that it wasn’t. Tbh Kailyn might’ve gone home today had Jeff not told me about a Palazzo chat still being alive and well. I don’t know how I’m gonna turn this bad situation around again but I need to convince Keegan and Livingston to work with me, Kailyn, and Xavier. It is critical now that Jeff or Pat go home because one of them is going to win. Before Joey left, he told me that there is a rumor that Jeff or Pat have an idol nullifier. While a nullifier won’t affect me right now, it’s not something that I want to see in the game going forward period and I want to use that little piece of information to my benefit and finally get rid of Pat. I’ve been saying for SO LONG that we need to get rid of Pat and now the time is ticking down. He has to go as soon as possible, fuck whatever Jeff says. Tbh I want to fly into the final six with no votes cast against me, still. I wonder if I can get Jeff and Pat to target like Keegan or Livingston and I really just need Xavier or Kaitlyn to bring up Pat’s name first before Jeff.. I doubt they have the smarts to recognize the danger that they pose, but we will see... Keegan is DEFINITELY pissed off at me now too. I made the mistake of telling him that I was “a little annoyed” about how tribal went, which was such a dumb thing to say bc tribal went exactly how I wanted it to. I’m playing off the fact that Kailyn must’ve known abt Joey voting for Livingston because her name was on the chopping block too so that’s why it went 4-2-2 rather than 5-2-1 like it was supposed to. I don’t want anybody to know that I was playing for Joey’s advantage which I’m sure people think I have right now lmfao... Anyways really I need to just make Keegan NOT hate me because he’s still part of my plan long term (I think)... he’s really smart tho and I’m not counting him out to win the whole thing but he hasn’t really done much of anything whereas people like Jeff and Pat and Xavier have kinda done a lot... If Keegan isn’t prepared to be fully loyal to me til the end then there’s nothing I can say to him except adios. All I really need right now is an immunity run til the end. I hope that the next challenge is something that doesn’t require a lot of skill because I am INCREDIBLY anxious just thinking about a competition, live. I need final seven immunity because then I’m guaranteed top five... the furthest I’ve ever been in Tumblr Survivor by a mile. I’ll break so many of my own personal records with that one single immunity win. In fact, if I make it to final five, that will be the best I’ve literally ever done in a Skype survivor org. I haven’t done that good since April and it’s just really affirming to me that this was the right decision for me to come back to Tumblr. Aside from winning challenges and making more moves, I also have gotta start fixing my bad relationships. Like I mentioned earlier, Keegan seems REALLY pissed off at me for how things went down with him being left out of the vote again. I can only apologize so many times before I am simply unforgivable. Maybe say sorry less and work to do better??? Idfk. But if Jeff or Pat can just say Keegan’s name, I’ll do what I can to prove to him that I’m loyal to HIM and not them. I hope that the Palazzos are falling to pieces now and realize that the only way to the end is to stick by us and nobody else. Jeff was also pretty mad at me for pushing his buttons a lot today. But honestly he was feeding me utter bullshit. I don’t buy that he was my savior and guardian Angel today, protecting me from having my name come up. I should honestly tell Livingston that Jeff sold him out to me not too long after Livingston said my name in their little chat. That would be hilarious. Kailyn and I are pretty close, but it could be better. I think I tend to revert all game-conversations with Xavier, so I don’t consider Kailyn my main ally unfortunately. If I want to go to the final three with her and Xavier, I need to really work on building that GAME relationship up because as a person I think we vibe well but it’s gonna come down to a couple factors and if she *has* to be sacrificed for me to get further, I can’t do anything but let it happen unfortunately.. As I just said, Xavier is kind of my main strategic ally right now which is super weird to say. He has definitely stepped it up A LOT in the strategic department and I have a lot of respect for him just as a person and I want to try and pick his brain a little bit more. The only thing with Xavier is that he seems to be playing really “safe” right now - I think had the opportunity presented itself to vote for Jeff with Joey, Xavier wouldn’t have gone for it and would’ve wanted to stick strong with voting Livingston instead. Which I totally get, but this game right now kinda requires we make bolder decisions than just what kinda didn’t work last time, you know? Okay now for Pat - god our relationship is just so weird. I have virtually not ties to Pat except the one alliance with Jeff and I feel like Jeff wants to control Pat rather than let Pat be his own player. It’s weird. I wonder if Pat would be down to vote out Jeff but fuck it’s gonna be hard to pull that off. I don’t want to hold off on Pat BECAUSE if I can’t get him out next, I will need him at final six and hopefully final five to serve as a sacrificial lamb or something. I’m wondering now if maybe Livingston needs to go because people are gonna always view Pat as a huge threat to win, even though he might not necessarily do so if he gets there. Livingston... yeah I really don’t like Livingston lmfao. I think it’s because of his super close connection to Rachael but it might also be because he is like, cool and nerdy and a bit of a try hard “around camp” so to speak. What REALLY gets on my nerves about Livingston is that he possesses zero of the charisma to convince me that he sucks at this game but enough social finesse to make me think that he’s actually gonna win if he gets to the end. He’s like, that cool dork everybody was friends with in high school. Even though parts of his game have been lackluster as fuck, he’s still a massive threat to win and I might just need to kick him off to the jury as soon as possible. :) And finally... me! I’m gonna try hard to be unbiased and self-aware but it’s so difficult to do that bc I genuinely don’t know how ppl are perceiving me this time.. I THINK it’s mostly positive but tonight was definitely one of my most negative episodes bc of how stressful I was being before tribal. Just ask Jeff. I think I’m definitely succeeding in getting votes to go my way and I have had a LOT of things go right for me since the merge. From Stephanie leaving right when I needed her to, to the double removal, to the super idol coming out and getting rid of Joey... It’s been so good so far. BUT I’m not being subtle about it. Subtlety is not a strength of mine that’s for sure.. I think I succeeded in being “subtle” about the Steph thing bc I was not making it overly obvious I wanted her out but otherwise I’ve been very clearly controlling other decisions and how certain votes went. Leaving two people I don’t trust in the game (Pat/Jeff) is tough but at least I worked with them on something, right? Joey was telling me so much that he was gonna lose to me and I think he was right. Now Jeff is saying that he’s probably going to lose if we’re in the end, but he doesn’t want to vote me out. Do I trust that? Not really... But fuck, I don’t even know anymore!!! I think if the game was over right now, I’m going to be grilled to DEATH for being fake as hell to Joey. I think that’s gonna come back to bite me so I need to start talking POSITIVELY about Joey to EVERYBODY. Read him for game, not for personal reasons. And maybe I’ll even talk his game up going forward just so that the person who goes into jury at least relays that I made a “good move” voting for Joey to leave (even tho I didn’t vote for Joey hehe). I wonder if people think I’m just playing tjem as pawns and not as real people.. bc these are definitely real people we are playing with here and I recognize that, but honestly in my mind nobody here wants this as badly as me. If that makes me the villain, I’m fine being the villain. But I’m not a human being that will ever play this game with a passion to play humanely. I want to win so badly. I’m going crazy in my own head, the wheels turning in hyperspeed. I’ve never been hungrier for something like I am for this win... I can hold out another year in this environment if I have to. I can and I will 🤠

Darn third world slow internet connection! Anyway, it made others look like challenge threats more than me, so hopefully that gets me through more rounds if they think other people can win more :)

That was a very stressful and very tense immunity challenge. Jeff was the clear front runner for the first five rounds, being the first person to advance in all of them. He’s a quick typer which made me very worried I wouldn’t be able to pull off a win. However, the last round was “Name That Song” and with the help of Siri, I snagged the immunity necklace! Final 6 here I come! This round presents me with an interesting dilemma. Since I have immunity I can be a little more ballsy. So I could throw Jeff or Pat under the bus, try to sway Jaiden, Kailyn and Xavier to vote one of them out. Or I can stick with the OG Palazzo group that is saying (for the fifth time I might add) that they want to stick together. That hasn’t worked out at all yet this merge and we’ve voted 4 people out. Pat and Jeff seem pretty interested in targeting Xavier for being a social threat which I don’t disagree with. But Jaiden is a very strong player. This is one of those rounds where I’m insanely grateful to have immunity because there’s also a bunch of advantages out there. I know Livingston has a regular idol now. But there’s vote steals and extra votes and idol nullifiers out there somewhere and that’s so nerve-wracking. Also, Jaiden mentioned to me that this is the last round for a lot of those advantages and I just don’t think I buy that. Final 7 is a weird place for that. Regardless, I’m fully expecting this to be a wild and crazy tribal tomorrow. Can’t wait to see what happens because I get to sit there looking pretty with my new bling. Xoxo Gossip Girl

I am terrified of tribal today and I have a bunch of different ideas in my head but I just want to survive. Kind of where I am at is I feel like I am getting 7th no matter what because I have never tasted top 6 in an ORG. I could play an idol here at 7, waste it, and then just get fucked at 6. One thing I thought about was "finding" the idol part of the way through tomorrow and then letting OG Palazzo know to build trust. The only issue with this is that the idol nullifier is in play. It could still be on the board. It was on the board when I got my auction advantage. But if it isn't, and Pat and Jeff turn on me, I could be fucked idol or no idol if the nullifier is played. I suppose that Pat and Jeff have both never voted me as far as I can tell, unless I have miscalculated one of the vote counts for the past 2 tribals. Maybe it'd be safer to hold onto the idol quietly and just hope I don't leave with it in my pocket. This is so stressful because if I leave with it in my pocket, I look like an idiot that had the luck to get two advantages but couldn't traverse the game much past that.

Okay so, Jeff is my closest ally at this point. Voting out Joey was our move and I am very happy we did. I don’t express the anger that I’m feeling and I think that helps keep my relationships good with people. I think I’m good with Livingston and Keegan and also Jaiden and Kailyn. I was Xavier out this round but I feel like something is going to happen. No one knows I have an idol which is amazing and I hope I don’t have to use it til final 5 and I have immunity and can play it on someone else for the fun of it. I can’t believe I made final 7 and am actually kicking up playing the game by voting correctly on Joey. I think so far I have 2 of the 4 votes at final tribal council, Andrew and Steph. I think I have a road there, I just hope I make the right decision because I’m still in I a weird phase of the game and anything can happen.

This tribal feels very weird. Jaiden is insisting he hasn’t heard anything at all about the vote. Which I find very strange considering he’s basically been running things most of this merge. Why would suddenly no one tell him anything? Especially Kailyn and Xavier. Seems like those three are fairly open with each other. I could not be more happy to have immunity this round. No matter what happens, I am safe and have not a thing to worry about. I really really hope that Pat and Jeff are being honest and actually voting for Xavier like they say they are. If they’re flipping and voting for Livingston.... I don’t even want to imagine that. But I’m getting some sketchy vibes. Fingers crossed it’s just me being paranoid, though any time I say that something unexpected happens.

Ok I'm calling it, I'm going home tonight ! Literally nobody is telling me anything and it's really quite pathetic to see Keegan, who says we're super cool and good friends and will be friends once this is all over, win immunity and then not make a single attempt to pick me up and flip me to his side. Unless he's so confident that the Palazzo four will stick loyal to the very end... which they probably will, but Jeff is gonna beat all of them in the end and I think they see me as a big threat or something LOL I guess it's good gameplay for them but I hate it either way. I don't really have a lot to say bc now I just feel dumb. I wish I had an idol, but of course, I do not. Anyways, I'm going to have to stick with the fact that people are voting for Xavier tonight and hope my name doesn't come up at all. I'm going to lie and tell Xavier that I'm certain its me or Kailyn tonight and hope he holds an idol if he has it... or plays it on me heh. We'll see though... What a depressing trip to Las Vegas if it ends like this.

The last Confessional :(

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