#it’s a fucking mental illness that dude’s got

[girl4music]

Just watched ‘Eternity’ for the first time and I have some thoughts to share about what happened in it.

ANGEL: “Forget it. I didn't mean--“

CORDELIA: “Yes, you did. I'd appreciate you not trying to weasel out of it. Angelus may not be relaxing company, but at least he's honest. Shouldn't I expect the same from the not-evil version?”

Couldn’t have said it better myself Cordelia. I mean if just a drug stimulant simulating happiness is all it takes for Angel to revert into his soulless self (yeah, I’m not going to refer to him as a different entity - not when episodes like this exist) then this atonement gig really is pretty pointless. The narrative wants you to think of it as atonement but this is about absolution for Angel. If he can’t even be honest with his friends as Angel about what he says and does as Angelus, then there really is no hope for him redeeming himself. This isn’t a “loss of soul/restoration of soul” going on with the whole good-to-evil switch and even the other main characters can see that it’s not. Drugs can induce reality illusions and make it seem very real. I totally get that part. I understand why they did that. But if it’s really that easy for him to suddenly turn like that then he shouldn’t really be allowed to live - or exist. I know that may seem unfair but he is dangerous to the point of chaotic unpredictability. And I don’t think the narrative can keep lying to itself that Angel/Angelus are two entirely different entities when there’s a split-divide identity/personality problem here that can just be simulated like that.

At first I thought he was just playing Rebecca. Putting on an act to scare her away from what she thinks she wants. And I thought “Effective tactic”. But then he started delivering real abuse and violence. That clearly wasn’t acting. The drugs in the drink really did simulate the experiencing of happiness and therefore Angel behaving as if he lost his soul. If a powerful drug spiking can essentially be like the Placebo effect of the curse’s condition, then it’s not possible for me to take a redemption story for the ensouled vampire seriously because it’s clearly got nothing to do with his soul. It’s his mind! Drugs can only affect the mind!

You’re asking me to accept both contradictory narratives here. The one where he is under demonic possession and the other where he should feel guilty.

I’m sorry but I just can’t do that. It doesn’t work! It has to be either one or the other or I can’t accept it.

I can’t and I won’t accept what is clearly an absolution story that pretends to be a redemption story.

#angel the series #eternity #angel #angelus #david boreanaz #cordelia chase #charisma carpenter #split-divide identity/personality #it’s a fucking mental illness that dude’s got #I swear to god

[timeisacephalopod]

The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

#winters ramblings #seriously its SO funny when that happens because every time its like ??? the FUCK kind of thoughts do you have #to ask HOW i resist doing evil shit all the time because i dont fear god because i dont believe in God?? #what kind of fucked up person do you haveto be to only resist killing people because of fear of a higher power?? #these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want #perfectly Good and Moral because GOD said it its in the BIBLE whether thats true or not and like bible or no #if you have no intrinsic sense of morality i dont want to hear about atheist morality from you lmao #not that athiests lack issues i swear to god white dudes who evangelize atheism like its their new religion #have WILDLY missed the point and often suffer the same problem as the aforementioned Christians #wherein the onky thing thats ever given them any kind of pushback is the church so they decide RELIGION is horrible and bad as a whole #which isnt true religion can be a perfectly lovely amazing thing for people but that brand of atheist #doesnt seem to understand that people turned away from the church because of wide spread abuse and discrimination not because #believing in god makes you literally mentally ill like some of these fuckos act like. abelist AND shite to religious folks in one fowl swoop #so you know atheists have problems too but like they arent making laws in their beliefs images across the world so you know #temper the criticism with how influential the group actually is although richard dawkins types DID get a lot of space to spew their idiocy #like dawkims if you think youre SOOOO much smarter than christians how come you have ALL the same misogyny problems?? #youre not that smart and logical if youve decided a whole kind of person is inherently less than you buddy. in fact thats very Christian #of him actually. funny when that happens but again if you dont actually know WHY something is a problem #its very easy to say Thats Bad and then literally do the exact same thing you just condemned because when YOU do it its no longer bad #because its got YOUR flavor of fucked up morality on it now instead of being like hmm maybe Christianity isnt a problem #because it EXISTS but because a lot of people use their religion as a pointed barb to discriminate against huge swaths of people #and often the intolerance becomes a legal issue when Christians and other religious majorities shove through laws based on EXCLUSIVELY their #religions and opinions and that doesnt mean religion should be dismantled it means we ahould tell religious folk who would know what #morality was if it fucked them up the ass to shut up and figure out what morality is outside of rekigion before they start legislating about #it and whatnot. also i wish extreme opinions werent ALL the news focused on exclusively on the political right #can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts #who are two steps away from arguing thou shall not kill only applies to people they LIKE because they dont seem to understand #maybe murder is bad when EVERYONE does it not just The Bad People??!?!

[fellhellion]

what I say: dad Miguel is a sweet concept and I don’t think he’d inherently suck at it, if not best pursued (or desired tbh lmfao) straight out of the gates at 27

what I mean: my god can you imagine how it felt to think all anger and retaliation as patrimony, a rot simmering in your blood that you would do best to never inflict on another human being? then to hold a daughter in your hands; and she is so small, so vulnerable, so beautiful you cannot help but wonder how she is of you at all. she sleeps against your heart and does not fear there some innate rot within, she smiles when she sees you. You think of your mother, and wonder how a parent could raise a hand to a child.

#look I’m listening to Safe Return and got stupid emotional #look ABSHDJFJ LOOK!!! disappears down a hole #tunes talks 2099 #I’m sorry my mentally ill princess I’m thinking bout u and fatherhood sbshdjfjfjfjg #all jokes aside! #setting aside the hurdles of like. dooming himself out of fear of inherently being a doomer #dude has the capability to be a good dad. YEARS into the future when it’s a) something he can think of without clipping through the floor w #fear #and b) feels he could actually do that w his life and can entertain the possibility #OH LORD. forgot the third hurdle of him having no good parental role models ahshdjfjfj but!!! #in terms of capability where it comes to things like compassion and care #he’s already on the right track and imo a Lot of his hurdles w that kind of concept are like. self imposed fears that you intrinsically #would fuck up and fuck a child up in the process. #idk. I have feelings about dad Miguel.

[hiveswap]

OUGH. theyre gonna really end a superhero comic with a tolstoy quote thematically accurate enough to kill on impact.

#I started reading these because i was interested in the guardians after the 3rd film and didnt wanna interact with the mcu... #and now i have a new absolute wet paper towel poor meow meow with every disease known and unknown to man #he would have won most mentally ill bitch on the block prize during the annihilation war but hes gotten 100 times worse over the 8 years #6 of them spent in basically hell #other two spent carrying an entire space army's/alien planet's legacy alone through several wars #holy shit dude get space therapy. or whatever. #also sam really nearly went and got stuck with him in the cancerverse huh. #i guess the nova helments only work on people who are reckless and self sacrificial and only have one functional braincell #he didnt have to do all that for a deeply deeply fucked up guy twice his age who hes just met. famous freshly not dead hero or not #marvelcomics #sam alexander

[dirtytransmasc]

I love the tsu'tey lives au and the Spellman siblings! 💙🩵

I can't help but wonder how'd Tsu'tey react to them and their situation, especially if he didn't realize/notice the whole thing (the siblings adopting/raising Spider & living at Hell's Gate) till later on when the twin where like 13/14.

((I know he'd probably notice earlier bit we can pretend that he was busy with adjusting to life with his injuries/helping Jake be olo'eyktan))

he knew of the infamous 'spellman siblings' around the village, a group of 3 - previously four - children who were incredibly intelligent, prone to violence, and extremely protective of spider. he also knew they were raised by norm spellman, the 'nerd' as jake called him.

spider talked of them frequently, he was practically obsessed with the kids, many would argue they were family. tsu'tey, as much as he loved the kid, was happy to have another set of hands helping him out when he was stretched thin. he had a lot on his plate, jake needing guidance as the new olo'ekytan, his own disabilities to learn to work around, a rambunctious toddler/child (why did they grow so fast? he looked away for five seconds and the little five year old clinging to his leg was suddenly almost 10 and very much not a toddler anymore. it broke his heart a little more then he'd like to admit). he had met the kids a few times, though they seemed weary of the village people, himself included; he knew some had harsh feelings on them taking spider in, he faced it himself, and had attempted to squash it with little success. but even when he tried reaching out to the little ones, they shied away from him as well; knowing they lost so much so young, has been raised by an avatar in a lab, and had formed a bit of a secluded bond to spider, made him assume that they were just shy kids who clung to familiar family.

he had just assumed that spider was in their care while out in the world, and went home with them to his adoptive family, or at very least the 'nerd.' he was wrong. sure he saw the signs of neglect in the little human, it was easy when he was the odd one out, when the reason for his neglect was obvious (even if it was wrong, tsu'tey knew, and had excepted why it happened). it was a lot harder to spot it in kids that already had their own issues before the neglect began; the loss of their elder sister, amongst many other children they were close with, shot in front of them. the death of their parents, their people, their home. it spelled trouble for their young minds, so tsu'tey stupidly assumed that had been the reason the whole time, not the fact they were being raised by people on screens and raising an orphan on their own.

he realized it slowly, over the span of a few months, something was off, more off than he could stomach. it was little things; the older two were defensive against any adults, including the man that should be their father, being near spider. this extended to him, and it took spider begging and promising that tsu'tey was ok, "he's not like them" he said. then he realized how they never spoke of parents, not their own, not norm, not the scientists, or the adoptive family of spiders. they didn't have parents, they had each other, and that was it. then as they began spending more and more time at Hellsgate, their stuff, their voices, there presence began to dwindle from the village, until one day they were gone. as spider trained under tsu'tey the kids became more and more used to his presence, and clung to him more and more each day. something was wrong, so wrong, and he couldn't put his finger on it.

then he talked to norm, who claimed they had 'aged out' of his care, said they stopped seeing him as a dad, so he let them go on with their own lives. he assumed they were fine, and not wanting to overstep as the 'second' parent.

he talked to the siblings, hoping, praying, that somehow, someway, what they were going to say would fix this, make this normal. it didn't. when they took on spider, and norm didn't take him in as his own, didn't try, even when he knows the poor thing needed it. when norm rejected spider, the twins rejected him, and set out to be parents to their two younger siblings.

after that, he slowly built a relationship with the kids, inviting them to stay with him and spider (he stayed with him once a week), sleeping their hammock, eat meals with them, join them for lessons. eventually he works them back into the village, not completely, norm may not be there home, but the lab was, and spider couldn't stay out in the village every night, it was too dangerous. but he did make them feel like they had a place, a home, someone to love them and take care of them and their fragile baby brother.

he has a bone to pick with the people of hellsgate by the end of his little discovery and attempts to mend the damage of said discovery, but, at the end of the day he had 4 kids instead of one, a little family to call his own, and he got introduced to digital media, which movie nights are a win in his mind. cause listen, he is disabled, stressed out with jake and all the other adults being stupid, and 4, wildly smart and energetic kids. having a time where he can lay out and relax in a pillow fort, with his kids in his arms, watching some shitty (amazing, cause the siblings have amazing taste) human movies, that sounds pretty nice to him.

#they showed him httyd and he cried like a big baby #soft tsu'tey #tsu'tey #now I'm making him collect little brats because I can #its my mental illness I get to write characters completely ooc for my own comfort #no one can stop me #plus I want my baby's to be happy #spider socorro #miles socorro #miles spider socorro #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 #spellman siblings #they've all been through too much #plus gruff grumpy dad who pretends he didn't sign up for it being the most nurturing caretaker ever to already emotionally fucked up kids? #throw in the fact that he's disabled and kinda miserable with life #losing his (arguably) soulmate in sylwanin #losing his home and future title in the span of a week #he's a sad dude and all the sudden he's got 4 kids in the blink of an eye and everything just #ok again #he's ok #I love that for him #Spider te Rongloa Tsu'tey'itan

[hyprlnk-blckd]

don't really know how the fuck to feel that if you search up "bipolar" on this fucking app you immediately get met with the "is everything okay? do you need medical help?" message

like I get that it's Like That sometimes but fuck dude, I'm trying to look at the positives while the meds are working, give me a fucking break

#like man I have been thinking abt how since going on meds drawing and shit has been actually fun for me again for once #but then I'm also met with this horrible fucking feeling of like. I'm so fucking stunted bc I'm in my 30s and got diagnosed late #like damn I know it's a waste of energy to have those thoughts. I'm trying to focus on the positives and change patterns #but then I remember oh right! this shit has destroyed my life and i can't get disability or afford behavioral therapy #I guess it's well meaning but fuck dude I don't want to live with the shadow hanging over me all the damn time lmfao #fuck me for having a “scary” mental illness and wanting to see solidarity #and now they have a fucking bot messaging me for it. cool #hyprlnk_what

[hella1975]

too many zukka wips not enough willpower

#i have. so many #i have the 'zuko dies but not really' au #i have the bounty hunter au #i have the modern jasmine dragon au that i projected my econ degree onto #i STILL HAVE THE TO ALL THE BOYS I LOVED BEFORE AU #i have the zuko freedom fighter au #and the one that's been on my mind all day: the zuko azula and ursa au #THAT one would be a fucking behemoth #like i have a whole plot outline for that and im super proud of it bc it's definitely one of my more complicated plots #one of those 'things that happen in chapter 1 are relevant 20 chapters in' plots #the basic premise is that ursa takes zuko and azula with her after she kills azulon and flees #and they live on the run throughout the three nations for years and zuko and azula become pickpockets and have fake identities #it's a hoot #BUT ursa becomes very mentally ill bc all the abuse catches up to her now she's finally away from ozai #and it becomes very much zuko as the oldest having to keep the family together #and it gets VERY complicated bc it also gets quite canon compliant bc zuko ends up still hunting aang #but he's using it as a cover to reunite with azula bc he got separated and knows SHE is following the avatar #and the way zukka starts is bc zuko actively foils his own plans to capture aang bc he knows the moment he does #he has to go home and wont be able to find azula. so at one point zuko literally fucking saves sokka and sokka #is like dude what in gods name are you doing rn LMAO #but yeah azula joins the gaang before zuko even does they all wind up in ba sing se there's a rebellion it's so fun #zukka #writing ig

[emmcfrxst]

wish i was determined enough to delete all of the embarrassing shit from my teenage years on this blog 🤡

#the unnecessary drama mostly #that’s what untreated mental illness and personality disorders are like ig 🤡 #i was so annoying and whiny and i got mad so quickly for nothing lol #sorry to everyone who had to deal with my 16/18 year old self #also wish i could just scrub my blog clean of the person who gr00med me when i was a minor but i do not have the patience to delete #everything by hand so i’m just gonna pretend it doesn’t exist #rlly fucked up when u think that a lot of ppl hate me for things that my gr00mer said i did when i tried to escape them lol #not fucked up @ these ppl bc they didn’t know obvs but it was a rlly fucked up situation in general lol #so much drama on this blog for nothing 😭 part of why i just stopped using it bc it brought back Bad Memories wifkwkke #ignore me i’m just talking and being a little dude

[3boodr]

bluey gives me like. So many emotions because I only had like. Three channels in the hospital I was stuck in for twenty eight hours. I could barely sleep. All that was on was teen titans go usually, miraclous lady bug, and if I was lucky, bluey. It felt like. A bright light in the darkest tunnel. Such bright colors. Such vibrant music. Cute moments. When everything felt like it was [redacted], it made me feel like I was at the beginning. <-starting to not make sense

#hospital #hospitals #I cant rewatch the ones i watched in the hospital cause my brain doesnt work but like wow. emotions #too many but god. good show #i think being in a hospital with only fucking. teen titans go made me want a piano to fall on me #NO PHONE either. hell. hell on earth. #you were treated like a baby. you couldnt go to the bathroom alone or fucking. use your phone. you werent allowed to have a damn pencil. #only crayons #hospitalization #psych ward #<-not talking about the psych ward but jic this was the bit before that #You were talked down to. if i wanted to leave they were going to *force* me to stay #not that a lot of it wasnt kinda fair to some degree #but i remember the lady got fucking pissed at me #because i was indecisive if i wanted to stay #she said YOU are making so much trouble for us. you really are inconviencing us. now we are going to force you to stay #DUDE why the fuck are you mad at me im so fucking mentally ill

[jekyllnahyena]

I've got like 2 more episodes of Netflix Dark n idk how he wormed his way inside my heart, but I really, really like Bartosz.

I doubt there's a happy ending and I wanna give my dude a hug, but he makes me very happy.

#netflix dark #bartosz tiedemann #spoilers for season 3 but I'm at that moment where martha tries to convince him to go to the akw and hes just a dude trying his best #very confused but hes got the spirit #yeah he might have been a bit of an ass but fuck me if ill try n use morals in this show #also mentally bleaching all ideas of pseudo incest out of my brain cause if i think about that I'll never finish the show #im keeping like 5 tabs open at all times while watching btw cause its confusing as fuck

[carnival-core]

Ok it is rlly late for me rlly early for others so fuck it I'll make a post here . If I remember to I'll delete it later if not it's not like anyone stalks my blog that I know of so whatever

But gotta ask , partially as just a depressed person but especially as a trans Floridian . Like . What's the point. Of anything. Anymore. What's the point.

#I hate that I #Gotta fight and claw and scream every day so stupid old dudes dont take away my constitutional rigjts and it doesnt even work #and I Cant fight #I got like three diagnosed mental illnesses and god knows how many undiagnosed physical chronic ones #I dont know how to drive #I dont have the energy to fight . #So I guess some day #the people who are supposed to protect me will kill me #fine #I am too afraid of what might come after to die #but I #sure don't want to live #and I'm #supposed to interact with people and be nice and do things in spite of everything? #What's the fucking point #neg #ask to tag #behind the tent

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

if i was absolutely FORCED to go back in time to high school i think the one thing i would change would be. being more involved w the theatre kids

#sorry. introspection post time #watched the movie version of a show we did when i was a freshman and i got hit with a massive wave of. damn i kinda miss that tho #i was! head spotlight techie #and it was. so fun and i loved it sooo much i miss the burns on my arms i miss the ozone smell #i miss the clunky sound when u change color filters #i miss early rehersal practices where my job was to sit on the balcony with a copy of the script and make lighting note annotations #i miss sitting on the balcony with my legs dangling off the edge. #i dropped a flipflop one time and nearly clunked one of the leads on the head LMAO #we were friends tho so he just. picked my shoe up off the floor and waved it at me like a grouchy old man raving about kids on his lawn #and he didnt give it back to me until after practice LMAO #fuck dude........ #and i learned all of the songs bc id be at every practice and would just like. sing to myself on the balcony bc nobody could hear me #ugm. we are not going to talk about my partner tech so she is just a big static filled void in all of these memories <3 #we spent. so much time together and it was. hmmmmmmm. bc we were on the balcony by ourselves. no supervision no witnesses etc. she was. hm #anyway. happy memories only. #i miss my clunky old spotlight his name was megatron #i always kind of wished i had the abikity to try out even for like an understudy part bc i think i would have fun w that #but unfortunately high school was the bottomless pit of my mental illness and despair and etc #i did NOT have the mental fortitude to do that #but it always looked rlly fun..... #anyway this was entirely inspired by my remembering that anybodys from west side story existed #and like. thats the EXACT character i wouldve loved 2 play in hs #do u know jow much fun i had singing officer krupkie on the balcony. i wouldve nailed that shit #also it wouldve given me a better excuse to be friends w the drama club guys and not..... you know. the static filled void #anyway. hi. how r we all tonight. im finding myself nostalgic for the worst period of my life <3

[othercrossee]

Actually, sinner was found after the whole rift ordeal and people thought they were some sort of weird zoroark until they called the survey corp to see what the fuck is up and mc was like hey this ain't a pokemon 💀

#z rambles #i think after sinner was being fixed up. rei and akari was like WAIT ???? IK THIS DUDE???? #but sinner was so malnourished and fucked up all over and they were unconscious for day. mf almosr got announced dead two times 💀 #but they live #i think irida and adaman was called again and this time irida was way too early to get back on adaman #and sinner saw her and they talked for a bit actually and sinner was like ah i need to go with this kid #sinner saw the mental illness and decide yeah i need to see this thru #adaman WAS NOTTT HAPPYFKSJFOSJ #Like yeah okay hes happy his old friend is alive and not fucking dead. but WHAT DO U THINK U WANNA JOIN THE PEARL CLAN #sinner do whatever they want so even if everyone complained they didnt care. but they did stay with mc for a bit tho #just until they get a bit more energy to go to the diamond clan and get their shit and off to the pearl clan #so funny that one day in the pearl clan. sinner immedistly got their eye popped out and once again mai adaman and melli were not happy #theyre like see this is what u get for leaving us and sinners like bro i am just stupid 💀 anyway look st my new dog :) #and its poppy the zoroark that hsve a bracelet with a hollowed pearl and sinner eye is inside it. sinner is sick and twsited man.... #sck and twisted little guy

[alekkis]

It’s not just in the things you’ll never send but the interplay.

it’s in the trance, its in your sway, you’ll find me with every head nod, and I’ll be there in the categorical madness of joy.

I’ll be here for you, we are who we are.

our mind doesn’t stop it continues it begs it enshrines, strictly speaking you’re not ordinary and it hurts when it hurts and feels devilish when it does but boy you’re here why hide that.

you can’t hide that there’s a sparkle to you, you shine bright, you pay attentively to the flow that’s no one’s fault, you got me I know it feels lonely you’re alone and that’s where the fear and instability peeks in I can’t say you’ll be a writer but I will say that you create art beyond a profession you do the things you do to save the story this is your life.

memory it haunts us regret haunts us don’t live like this, it’s in direct contradiction to the the beauty bravery and freedom of those around you. we all persist to the beat of our own love it sways and conforms it bends in odd shapes and yours does the same. look how it grooves look how it falters you can’t run away from who or where you are, you’re all that you’ve ever been idk man it’s hard to say, sometimes all that we are is the realization nothing is forever to love deeper and express ourselves with absurdity nothing is forever.

temporary is the game we can forget or we can choose how we remember even when it hurts we do it for the love.

10/8/22 - wtf yeah I second this

#interlude #writing #actually bipolar #journal entry #I’m gonna commit to healing and loving #I choose to honor those I love by remembering and memorializing before they’ve left this world #I’m gonna show them they matter by remembering their words #grieving people who have yet to die #put this degree to use and in the process find healing #shadow work #still don’t know what that means #have i said fuck mania before #wtf like dude that shit sucks #continues to suck #art is all I got #I hope to love sincerely #and I hope to be a man my mom is proud of #I’m tired of feeling like a disappointment #victoria erikson #actually mentally ill #mania #playlist poetics #creative writing project #why am i like this #neurodivergent #there’s no loss in commiting #you’re already crazy #so you want to remember your mom #do it weirdo #it’s not that big of a deal

[gorominecraft]

i dont think ive ever been so disappointed in manga's ending since they straightwashed kaneki but oh my god tokrev is about to take the fucking cake

#im sorry but......wkui is such a bad writer #i dont even like takemichi i just tolerate him but i canNOT get over the way wkui just erased everything #with the laziest fucking 'they time leapt backwards so far it never happened and mikey was never ever mentally ill in the first place' #oh its so stupid its so fucking stupid im fucking pissed screaming crying throwing up what the fuck #i had miniscule hope when we got the shin lore but dude. ruined. its so bad #also the way wkui replaced draken w takemichi after that whole 'draken is mikeys heart' shit #im fucking fuming its so bad its so so bad at least tokyo ghoul had a good fucking story tokrev doesnt even have CONSISTENCY #anyway i could go on but i wont bc ive been actively going thru it lately also but g o d #such a garbage wrap up lol #idk if thisll end up in the tags also but im sorry if it does this is just my opinion pleas dont come for me im just a little guy

[queenii-llama]

parents will be hardcore struggling with 5 undiagnosed mental illnesses and still be like "back in my day people didnt have all those problems🙄"

#hate to break it to you but millenials didnt invent mental illness bud🤷 #''what do you think people did before all these stupid medications/treatments🙄'' #suffered?? the fuck #''that mental illness usually runs in families. where do you think you got it from?🙄'' you!!! my dude!! you have it too!✌ #i am begging you to see a therapist🙏😌💞 #fksjfjsjdjsjdjjsksjdks #about me