#can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts

[dwestfieldblog]

DELUSIVE ENLIGHTENMENT MEGLOMANIA

2019...and a true two minutes to midnight on the doomsday clock. Now there's a king hell lead entrance eh? Annihilation and dystopia, coming soon to a planet near you...'One total catastrophe like this, is just the beginning' What did I learn last week? The name of the Egyptian god who created the universe by masturbating was Atum. Worth mentioning eh? Seeds of creation in atoms, his chosen warrior must have been Onan the Barbarian. And...Ethyl formate is in the centre of the galaxy, tastes like rum and smells of raspberries. Close your eyes and you are there. 'Meta programming the human bio computer' Dr John Lilly. 'Art and science have their meeting in method'. Bulwer Lytton. A long collage from the magician's hat......

Back in late January, the dubious blue shaded Bono of U2 was railing loud and hard against the evils of capitalism...surely I am not the only one to see the deep level of irony in this...A multi millionaire from writing songs with a number of offshore investments and minimal tax payments (well, only a few humans actually want to pay the tax demanded, but some of them can afford to pay it)...Without capitalism it is a touch unlikely he could have made so much money and kept it... only the corrupt in various regimes get to be so rich -  and precious few musicians get this much moolah...Some messianic front men should never be allowed to do anything other than sing and dance. Still haven't found what you are looking for?

Anyway, Jesus said 'When you give arms,do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your arms may be given in secret'. Or maybe it was alms. Arf. Don't show your hand too early:-) Ace of spades high. Speaking of which...

White House Spokesperson Sarah Sanders mentioned on a religious TV network that God 'wanted' (Useful Idiot) Trump the gurning Golden Reptile 'to be the American President.' Perhaps that is true...maybe he will be the last moron leader that will make people truly aware and take more care over who they choose to elect in a democracy. Fnord. 'Well ah trust him cuz he aint a politician and he speaks his mind'. Duhh.What does he actually say when he speaks his mind? He has certainly been a gift (in more mysterious ways than one) to Presidents and populists in other dubious countries as proof of how useless free elections can be and how simple it is to affect them from afar and within. A standard bearer who carries his nation's flag so low he should be arrested under the U.S law for defamation. Germaphobes like walls, but a touch pointless when you have such filthy hands. A new world disorder....Love the title of the book 'Crippled America' by D. Trump with a scowling picture of the blonde psychopath on the cover. Says everything about the USA today. And love even more the idea of his Space Farce/Force... Flash Gordon meets Star Trek. Trump as Captain Kirk and Pence as Spock. Tired of being the policeman of the world, time to be the Warriors of the Universe and have laser space fights with China. (Wonder how their president chooses to interpret the I Ching? May he live in interesting times.)

'Sovereign' internet for Russia...(or 'the World Wide Web without the world', as the BBC World Service put it) a new law being prepared to control exactly what internet goes in to the Motherland and protect their people from freedom. Arf. Wouldn't want any false news or manipulated election results going on there eh? Or access to non Kremlin approved news. We shall see if this actually passes into legislation. What do the majority of Russian people actually think about this? Goddess bless Pussy Riot, Tatu and Vladimir Vysocki. Mr. Putin, remember Dostoevsky.  ( A week after writing that, 15,000 demonstrated in Moscow against the proposed new laws. There is already a law making it illegal to insult a member of government. Not much room for satire or polite criticism, but Russia has never pretended to be a democracy.)

World leaders in more and more countries following the old western lead in starting a war on the basis of an outright lie and receiving no punishment for it. (Perhaps at the gates of Saint Peter. ) Well, if the ones in 'Christian' democracies can get away with war crime atrocities under the pretence of righteousness and liberation, why not them? And let's not forget the ever useful catch all word 'terrorist', carte blanche to get away with murder and invasion on false pretexts. Terrorists are not shopkeepers, students, quiet religious folk or disaffected individuals without guns who disagree with their government and march/write songs in demonstration to protest apparent/ obvious wrongness. Terrorists use fear, manipulation and extreme violence to maintain, assert and spread their power. (and how many governments fit that description?) They don't make pop videos, they make snuff movies.  

Step by incremental naughty step Hungary and Poland becoming ever more damaged, Britain, Europe and America being gleefully and carefully encouraged to pull themselves apart. I have never (well, from the age of about seven, so that is almost never) been a believer of what America and Britain did to dominate the world in olden times Whatsoever. BUT, life under a Sino-Russian world government?? FECK that. All those wannabe socialists from western universities are going to have a screaming bloodily rude awakening in a red dawn. Or perhaps they have such a well built narrow reality tunnel that all will seem just fine and dandy when 'their' system wins and will thrill to the new accepted literature. Slightly depressing how this current apparent time stream appears to be developing.  

(Maybe a temporary control in the chaos is all most generations can wish for. Perhaps only a sidestep into the actual flow of the river which seems to be chaos is all that is needed to evolve into a deeper awareness. 'Sink or swim' appears to be false option perpetuated by alpha types. Flow, surrender control, and in the Being so, a (deep breath) an open hearted universal view...Makes astral sense to some of us.)

Totalitarianism is a foul bastard swine whatever side or form it takes, political or religious. Read interviews with those who survived life under the Nazis AND the Communists. Or those who escaped extremes of the main religions, those in new age mind warp sects, having their souls drained via manipulation and enforced delusion. Cowed into kowtowing, despising the manipulations but knowing how much it hurts to think and feel...and so choosing the easier path of submission. Some people are proud of endlessly suffering pain, but only very rarely does their endurance create a stronger person. Survive yourself. As the song says, 'The final conflict is within'. Stand, kneel, adopt the lotus, just don't bend over and expect anything positive to come your way. (Unless...yes you can guess the rest...)

And as for all the student snowflakes no-platforming dissimilar voices to harm their delicate ears and cluttering up the channels tweeting meaningless self righteous rubbish, shouting so loud there is no actual debate...where do you imagine your place will be in the new world scheme? Outsiders will be enslaved or executed by 'popular' demand. You are not Chinese dissidents in prison, however you might feel. You have the right to be heard, (even as you deny that to others) but not the right to deafen and attack. Did you ever wonder about the past mentality and spirituality of those who could stand and watch a heretic/ witch' being burned to death at the stake or these days, those who can sit in a small invited audience to watch a man be fried alive in a chair? Those men who could watch and take part in a gang rape? To coin an old comedic phrase; 'That's you, that is.' Dig into the dirt and get to the molten core of morality. Find yourself there, then choose the height of your evil, the depth of your Love without ego. Ethics. Arf. Thus spoke Westfieldthruster.  

'The black man motivates, the other man imitates'...Damn straight.

'But I'm confused between sexual, murder, magical and medical, is the difference metrical or imperial, septic, fertile, feral or sterile?' Health and deficiency. (J>B)

(Diary...There is no one in my life in any way for whom I do not have respect. Empathy and compassion I have, long term patience too but after my respect is gone then so are they. Deleted. This will very highly likely apply to myself. But I have never done anything with a woman that I wouldn't allow her to do to me, if she wished to. (So I am still a gentleman eh? ) Remember lonely boys, She might be a goddess but she's still human. Meanwhile again...Situation Normal, All Fecked Up...

After a certain age, recklessness ceases to be quite as attractive as once it did in youth, as 'Death becomes real'. (Dylan Moran) Illnesses and disabilities, permanent or otherwise increase in number with the procession of years and the long journey through suffering can make a human paranoid and fearful. Imagining the worst of declines can seem very logical. The 'unpleasant preliminaries' as Cohen said. Most of us have made up our minds (in a very literal sense) about what comes next or what doesn't and it is fairly easy, given how we adjust reasoning to fit with the least unpalatable truth to find a comfortable justification for our various behaviours. Self destructive types (which most of us seem to be in one way or another) use rationality to declare that if everyone dies including the thinker, then why not do what you enjoy the most for as long as you can. I do this and know of many others after the age of thirty who reached the same conclusion and followed through past sixty and beyond. Smoking, drinking, drugging, fighting can lead to some of the worst types of deaths. But even those who never did any of these things suffer strokes, dementia, heart attacks and chronic end of life pain. Just consistently negative thinking can make people ill, just in less obvious ways than smokers etc. So we/I seek to 'justify'.  

Reactions to stress matter. A lot, But how many working people with families have the time to sit under a Bo tree or read Eckhart Tolle etc? Most of us appear to attract some mental/physical cataclysm as a way of taking stock and making a 'brutal re-appraisal of the situation'. (HST) Very often this is the only way a human stops what they are doing and starts thinking about Being. We all do what we do to keep various feelings and thoughts at bay, but the brain (and thus the body. 'Where a thought goes, a chemical goes with it'; Deepak Chopra) are not fooled and store it all up until overload occurs. Getting old is not for cowards. Shame I seem to be one, such die many times before their deaths. Endless physical pain and mental fear can do that and it is very hard to see that as an Initiation sometimes. And these days, most of the time. Glad I have a gun. How many of us can hope to die 'peacefully in our sleep'? Tranquillisers? Not quite the Portal of Daath, more like the gateway to the abyss. Which as uncle Frederick said, stares right back into you when you look long.

For those with patience, it is easy to say that meditation might well be the best way to re-programme the mind into letting go the poisons. To un-wire and react to stress in a more positive way. Discipline. Old habits die hard. Older habits die very badly. Alpha theta delta waves and LSD therapy? Chinese Auryvedic Reki Tantric massage, more sex for the endorphins and oxytocins? Some people will read this as a very dull and obvious piece of writing. Others will know all about the idea of suicide as a 'problem focused strategy'. Get on with dealing with and solving the attacks from within and without...Want the truth? A truth. There have been thousands of days when the only thing that kept me going was the thought of unwinding my useless tension with whisky for a few hours every night. And it is that lazy thought which has been killing me for the last 22 years. A liver is a remarkable organ unless you flood it with alcohol, the power of her regeneration is astounding until the tipping point is reached. Milk thistle isn't going to solve this. Can you tell how I feel today?

What causes that 'tension' Dave? The usual. Overthinking, self hatred, anger, desperation, guilt, regret, doubt, all the classics. Most of us seem to have these in various combinations during our lives. A generalisation but seems to be a fair one eh? Some people deal with the negatives in highly positive and/or immoral ways... regular holidays, saunas, horse tranquillisers, painting, flagellation, righteous causes, deviant behaviour, local politics, role playing (well, we all do that one way or another), virtual reality games (also), teaching things we should know better before we set ourselves up as such, conning the gullible with vague promises of better things, healers as politicians and vice versa seeking money and power/sex, lying to ourselves on an hourly basis, doing anything to be 'happy' and sustain the illusion that we are somehow promoting our immune system and to bring meaning to our existence. Burning through the days, raging with light because it seems sexier than being peaceful, Attempting immortality (in physical form) through health supplements, work, sport and having offspring. Faking our 'realities' until they temporarily become real. Working on massive ideas because we are captivated by the energy within them and the possibilities of a better life, curing dis-ease via mental, physical, chemical and spiritual research, using ourselves as a laboratory, exploring exactly what Will-Power truly means. Further and deeper into realms of the without which is truly inner, the macrocosm which is the microcosm. '100 books you must read before you die', the first of which is your own. Your very own Book of the Dead. A lifetime preparing before the next step.  

Been there, done that. Next. (How arrogant.)

So, survive, evolve and move on...He writes with dead eyes and in daily pain. Normal is very overrated, whatever my foul mental weaknesses, I regret very little. Could always Do more. But Being is key. There is only a time limit on the flesh. 'Who will deliver me from this body of death?' What seems important to you? Really, truly? Define 'important' and instinctive reasons why. Or not...to hell with me, in hell I seem to be and to hell I go. Pathos and hubris simultaneously. Woo-hoo. Etc.

One more final 'time' for the universe...'God' is/was/probably possibly a telepathic scientist, architect of infinity, quantum physicist, astral engineer and a psychic musician. ALL. WE are tiny sparks and mirrors of 'God', parallel possibilities, all serving the purpose of existence, which is (so I seem to choose to believe) to Evolve and experience all that matter can. We do not all need to be Einstein, Da Vinci or Beethoven but we all are on various levels, perhaps less 'grand' (depending on perspective) but the Poet/ Creator is within us all every time we appreciate Nature, enjoy humour or a story well told, think of some connection for ourselves...Small things Matter:-) As the bishop said to the actress. Smaller things are Quarks. Arf.  

Stanislav Grof... COEX...(Condensed experience montage. ) Eg, 'You are re-experiencing the birth process, remembering pre birth inter uterine events, reliving ancestral or archaeological crises of people/animals from whom you are descended, seeing the  sub-atomic energy whorl from which Form appears, previsioning the Superhumanity of the future...all at once!'  (That was, apart from the LIGHT that smashed into me for five seconds in a garden in 2008, exactly what I experienced in the Reconnection. It went far higher the next time. I do regret I didn't practice.

1.Amniotic universe – the womb. The only world that life knows at this point. Blissful feeling of peace and joy in a healthy womb. 2. Cosmic engulfment – no exit – Equilibrium disturbed, contractions begin- unbearable feeling of being stuck in hell with no way of escaping. 3. Death verses rebirth struggle – second clinical stage of childbirth, intense struggle for survival.4. Death versus rebirth experience – the child is born. Intense ecstatic feelings of liberation and love. New world begins. ...

I found this scrawled by me on an old A4 scrap of paper, not sure who actually wrote it, perhaps E. Tolle. Along with 'Conscious Ego...Self Image/Persona/... Subconscious memories...Shadow/Denied psychic material... Anima/Animus/ Opposite sex qualities...Collective Unconscious/Universal+archetypal processes.  In a cycle learning and relaying...'Information received, decoded and transmitted by a structure'. (Definition of intelligence by R.A.W.).  

An infinite number of reality tunnels threading in a spiral of a labyrinth between matter and the non physical. The 'Akashic Record' to tap into and imprint our own levels of experience, the Eye recording Itself. Individually/collectively. Why do we think? Why remember? Why care? Why create? What is the chemical programme which sparks curiosity and fascination? The survival trip is a journey to.....

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Back in Middle School...I knew before I started the run/essay etc, that it was mine. No pride or ego, just knew I had already won. A calmness descended, not grit and determination, just KNEW it. And so it was, every time. Another example from life of no planning, just Being, THEN doing it. My entire life was full of these. Thinking never worked out for me. Everything good which has happened has been spur of the moment choices, instinct, following what (or who) I Love. TRYING (or trying too much) usually ends in tears. Parallel to this is the absolute negativity of my/the mind. Agree to be optimistic as a behaviourally rewarding hobby...he almost giggles.

Reprogramming takes effort and how many of us can say we are not lazy? The most regular homework I give to students is to just to write diary type paragraphs about things they notice or feel on various random days. I have been given some wonderfully honest expressive stuff. What would we reach across/back and tell ourselves at younger ages? What would we attempt to avoid or undo? This exercise is pointless if we feel negative or sadness over it. So don't. Arf. Self forgiveness is a beautiful thing, valuable and worthy. So are we. Stay warm and in flow:-) Last famous words unknown. Happy rebirthing Easter day again. And again.

'Today I broke a personal best, successive days alive':-)

LOVE.