#it will keep happening because i will keep accepting it because i am a worm

[teethcore]

i always said it was my red line issue. i said it was my one strike, over standard. and i'm already coming up with a million justifications and it hasn't even been two hours.

#it will keep happening because i will keep accepting it because i am a worm #this is my lot in life #i'm a doormat who just happens to be loud #all bark no bite #echoes from the void

[ifishouldvanish]

Some Olrox Analysis & Headcanons

Have you seen this man? Now you have! 🥰

I have a lot of thoughts about Olrox Castlevania Nocturne and I'm dumping them here.

DISCLAIMER: We know so little about Olrox's past and I am but a humble stan looking at an expressionist painting and projecting my own deranged nonsense onto it. I'm fully prepared for 90% of this to get jossed in season 2, but for now I'm just letting the worms in my brain wiggle and send me beautiful visions of what could be 🥹

1. Olrox Was a Commoner and Does Not Respect Hierarchies

I've seen people point to his manner of speech and dress as evidence that he must come from a privileged background, but I think he displays too much contempt for the wealthy/nobility to have been one himself. I think these things are just symbols of power he has learned to use to his advantage.

Of course, there's everyone's favorite quote: "I prefer my blood blue." But he also demonstrates virtually no respect for authority or symbols/institutions of power in general:

He refuses the escort sent by the marquis when he arrives in France and insists on staying at the inn because he likes to "keep his ear to the ground". He would rather be around 'the people' than accept anything from the wealthy.

When Drolta is reminiscing about her glory days as a priestess, there's really not any nostalgia or sentimentality when he interrupts and says "and now those temples are half-buried in dust."

For as good as he is at presenting himself as a Gentleman of Status, he cannot bring himself to even pretend to enjoy himself at Erzsebet's lil debutante ball at the chateau.

When Erzsebet insists she is a goddess, his response is "Of course you are, sweetie 🙂"

His whole speech to Mizrak in the morning-after scene is basically a deconstruction of what power means, and how it is only a perceived vs tangible thing, a temporary position vs an immutable one:

"There are petty demon princelings you can haggle with and cheat. There are demon charlatans whose faces you can laugh in, spit in. There are demons who once were gods... And those who still are."

Foucault? In MY anime adaptation of a vampire video game?? It's more likely than u think 🤔

(continued under the cut bc this got long as hell)

2. Olrox was an Adult when Cortés Arrived

(I don't have a relevant screenshot for this point, so here's Olrox being pretty for no reason)

I've seen it float around some places that if we adhere to historical timelines to a 'T', it would make most sense for him to have been a child, but I'm of the opinion that it's more useful to take what the text itself gives us and fill the gaps with bits and pieces of the actual history where it's convenient. At the end of the day, this is a work of fiction/fantasy. So what does the text tell us?

He lived a long time as human and vampire

As of 1783, he'd been a vampire for approximately 250 years

Now, if we want to take this 250 figure literally, that would put the year of his turning at 1533. But I think we can give ourselves +/-15 years leeway because 250 is just the kind of rounded, even number one would use in natural speech in place of "267" or some shit like that. It's just how believable dialogue is written. So what lies in this +/-15 year window? The invasion by the Spanish, 1519-1521.

Now, he tells Mizrak: "Long ago, when I was still human, I watched men wade ashore from ships..."

I think this is another case of how important dialogue is. Because if he was a boy at the time, this line would likely have been written as "Long ago, when I was just a boy..." or something like "One of my earliest memories is of..." instead. "Still human" implies not only was he a human, but that he had been human for quite some time already. That the events he's describing fall in the stretch of time leading up to "still human" no longer being true.

tl;dr: the Spanish arrival and him becoming a vampire happened within a few years of each other, and if turned vampires stop aging, then he would have had to have been an adult at the time.

3. Olrox Became A Vampire Willingly

I assume that vampirism is something that was introduced to the Mexica by the Spanish in the same way it was introduced to Haiti by the French, in Annette's case.

However, rather than vampires creating spawn left and right, the persistent lore (in the show at least) is that to be turned is to be accepted into the sort of elite in-group of vampire society. (Carmilla questioning why Lisa was never turned, the Count never turning slaves, etc). Vampires feed on humans, they don't view them as potential spawn to have in thrall or whatever.

The Spanish weren't going around giving natives The Bite, because vampirism is power. So what I think, is that Olrox recognized that power, and decided to take it for himself. Rather than being the passive 'recipient' of the 'gift' of vampirism, he pried it from some Spanish vampire's cold, undead hands. (i.e., he drank their blood)

Do I have any proof of this? No. It's just what the worms in my brain are telling me 🤷 But!!

Do I think it would be a sexy little inversion of the way Erzsebet drank a god's blood to obtain her power? Yes.

Do I think it would be thematically very appropriate for a morally grey character who seems to have a very... Interesting relationship with power (individual power vs institutional powers, the subverting of power, the weaponization of symbols of power, etc)?? Oh absolutely fuck yes!!1!

[sickos.jpg]

4. Olrox Was a Priest, But Not Like That.

Priesthood in the Mexica empire was largely dominated by the nobility, whose children would be sent to the calmecec to learn how to read and write, speak the noble dialect, perform rituals, etc. But if the circumstances were right, the children of commoners could also get in!

Olrox says he's never been much of a believer, but he's highly intelligent and incredibly good at reading people. Even if he was never a man of faith, the priesthood was still a powerful institution where one could climb the ranks and earn influence over the nobility. No doubt someone as sharp and charismatic as Olrox would be able to take advantage of the opportunity to get a good education and maybe try to undermine the system from within/play a bit of political games while he was at it.

Also... Olrox's weapon of choice is the dagger. Obviously a dagger is an appropriate weapon for a character who's kind of rogue-ish, but also consider: Aztec warriors used a lot of weapons in combat: clubs, spears, arrows, axes—but an obsidian dagger? That's something that would have been used by a priest during rituals.

5. Olrox is a Bitch™ Who Knows Just What to Say to Get Under People's Skin

A common myth is that the Mexica welcomed Cortés at first because they thought he was Quetzalcoatl. But this is a misreading of the way Mexica social conventions/the noble dialect worked, which was kinda ~passive aggressive in a way, such that the more loftily and overly politely you spoke with someone, the more you were actually telling them to go eat shit and die. I think Olrox's dialogue demonstrates this beautifully in the scene where he meets Erzsebet:

"Taker of Souls, Vampire Lioness, She Who Mauls, The Messiah of--" / "Yes, charmed to meet you 😒"

"Her magnificence has heard much about you." / "Flattered. For a god to have heard of me. 🥱"

"I am a goddess!" / "...Of course 🙂"

His words are receptive, respectful, docile, even... but his tone and delivery are completely the opposite. Compare this with the way he speaks with Richter and (in later interactions) Mizrak—which is more informal, open, confrontational. He's more direct with them because he actually respects them.

As far as reading and getting under people's skin with pinpoint precision, I present the following interactions:

When he catches the marquis' severed head in the catacombs, he reads him (and potentially also Drolta) like a book: "This one? He was just an opportunist, following the messiah because she's powerful. But there are those who love her [looks to Drolta]. So I'm told."

When Drolta gives him a verbal slap on the wrist for feeding on the wealthy, he says "mY Ap0LoGiEs, I didn't realize how invested you are in keeping the mortals happy." - To which Drolta goes on to grumble about how their alliance with some of the mortals disgusts her.

When Erzsebet is waxing poetic about how everyone will see her beauty and worship her, he has the balls to—without missing a beat—say "PaRd0n mEe, but you mean to do this through an alliance with a man who will never worship you? 🫢" right to her fcuuckin face mgod I love him so much (this is the point where she whips out the big guns and yells "I am a goddess!!" while threateningly flashing her orb of darkness btw. Like she did NOT like that)

6. Olrox Has an 'Eye for an Eye' View of Justice

A prevalent theme in Aztec religion is the idea that like... ain't nothin' in this world for free. Sacrifices to the gods weren't symbolic gestures of devotion, but an act of paying the gods back for providing humanity with the means to survive.

The idea that everything has a price pervades the dialogue he has with Mizrak in the morning-after scene:

"What was the cost? Who pays it? Just him? Or all of you? Will you? Which demon will claim his price when all this is done?"

And it's also present in the very first scene where we are introduced to Olrox:

"You see, your mama took someone from me I loved, just as much as you loved her. So, she had to die."

What's interesting about this scene is also how... calm he is the whole time—before the fight, after the fight. Yes, he's motivated by the murder of the man he loved, but he brings zero of that passion to this confrontation. It's just an execution, something inevitable that must be done.

That he's fine with confronting a terrified Richter immediately afterwards to explain what just happened (and is completely unapologetic about it) is also telling. It suggests that Olrox views this kind of thing as just 'the way of the world'—a hard truth that Richter will be better off for having learned sooner rather than later.

I think this also helps explain why, years later, Olrox seems to treat Richter with a little more.... Familiarity than we might consider appropriate. He approaches Richter in the catacombs like he's just an old acquaintance, as though Richter should have no reason to be terrified of him. When Drolta mentions the incident later, he seems kind of lightly amused by it. Then, when he drops off the book, he's visibly/audibly frustrated that Richter starts gearing up for a fight. To Olrox, the whole "killed your mom" thing is water under the bridge, nothing personal.

7. Olrox is a Vampire of Prominence in The New World

Obviously, he has to be kind of a big deal to give a Belmont a run for their money. But let's go deeper into the IMPLICATIONS!!

"In 250 years, do you know how many vampire hunters have promised to slice me in two?"

"Her magnificence has heard much about you."

"You will be her guide into America."

He's enough of a big deal that countless hunters have promised to kill him. Enough of a big deal that Erzsebet has not only heard of him, but sees him as a valuable ally who knows enough about America to guide her as she builds her empire across it.

Olrox wasn't just a powerful vampire who got entangled with the politics of colonial Massachusetts and happened to cross paths with a Belmont. He's presumably had a hand in matters across the continent. Erzsebet refers to the colonists as "American upstarts" but for her, this is a conflict between humans vs vampires. The American colonists aren't allies or even rivals to her—because they're not vampires. They're just more pesky humans to be dealt with. (Also??? 'Protestant Vampires' as a concept is just hilarious to me, I'm so sorry)

So.

What the worms in my brain are telling me is—And this is Big!! This is a Steaming Hot Take!!!

(...seriously, tin foil hat tier headcanon incoming)

Olrox has established a network of indigenous vampires who are resisting the colonial threat. He's been turning them (or at least select individuals who are into it), and thereby redistributing the power he took from the Spanish colonizers to wield against the British colonizers.

(Look I have 0.01% faith in this actually being canon or anything. I just think it would be cool as fuck.)

Anyway.

Thanks for coming 2 my Ted talk or whatever. 😘

#Olrox #castlevania #castlevania nocturne

[hlstead]

stitches

[derek shepherd x reader]

request by @virtualreader

warnings: mentions of stitches and blood

Derek Sheperd

That was the name of her biggest crush and the reason for her despair.

When you joined Saint Grace as a nutritionist, you didn't expect to fall in love with someone on the team, let alone someone like him, who seemed to like someone else. Meredith was considered one of the most beautiful women in the hospital and you just felt like you couldn't compete with her for Derek.

Derek approached you quickly and I was surprised, you thought he would be more of a surgeon with a God complex, even more, because of his specialty, but he positively surprised you. You became friends quickly and created a relationship of flirting in friendship.

At least he was flirting in friendship…

It was one more shift and everything in your power to avoid Derek you did. You changed directions, took the stairs so you wouldn't find him in the elevator, and even begged him not to put you on the same floor as him. But nothing seemed to help, he followed you like a magnet wherever you went.

Derek's hands tightened on your shoulders making you jump in fright from the chair you were in. You lifted your head and looked up into the neurosurgeon's blue eyes.

“Are you needing me? Which patient?” You ask, trying to ignore the shiver it sent through your body.

“Yes, I am, but there are no patients. Unless you want to consider me your patient.” He says smiling and you blink a few times.

You tried to keep things strictly professional, but he made it very difficult.

"What do you mean?" You tilt your head to the side, pretending not to understand.

“I need some company to go fishing this weekend… how do you feel about going with me?” He asks.

You think for a few moments but end up accepting the invitation. He gives you a wink before leaving and you feel your body melt.

You were stupidly in love with him.

When the weekend arrived, you were feeling the jitters gnawing inside. Derek had picked you up and you were next to the river, admiring the beautiful landscape.

“Looks like we don’t have enough bait.” Derek says, looking at the bucket with some worms in front of him.

"I'll get more." You say with a smile and get up to take it.

You had to confess, you weren't the most skilled person in the world, and in fact, you were the opposite. As you went up the small hill to the car, you tripped over your foot and fell, hitting your head on a rock.

Your vision blurred and you felt the blood run down your forehead, making you groan in pain as you touched the spot with your hand. Derek, hearing the little accident that had just happened, gets up quickly and walks over to you.

You support yourself on your hands and try to get up, regretting it soon after as you get dizzy. Derek's hands looped around your waist and he sat you down on a rock, examining the cut.

"It's not very deep but you'll need stitches." He says holding his head.

"No need to worry, I'm fine." You say watching him roll his eyes.

“Do you know I need to do this or do you want to go to the hospital?” he asks impatiently and it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"Okay." you whisper.

Derek goes to the car and gets a first aid kit along with the fishing material while you watch his movements like an eagle. He sterilizes the material with some products and then bends down to start the stitches.

He cleans the wound, making you grimace at the stinging sensation. He starts the mini-surgery and you feel your heart speed up in proximity. His breath hit your face and his nose was milliliters away from yours, you were so enthralled by the sight in front of you that you lost focus on what he was doing.

A few minutes passed and he informed you that it was over, but your trance wasn't there and you couldn't stop staring at him Derek felt that this was the only chance he would have. He cupped her face in both hands and pressed her lips to his. You were speechless for the moment but after a few seconds, you responded with every emotion you had.

There was no Meredith, no interns.

At that moment it was just Derek and you.

#derek shepherd x reader #derek shepherd imagine #greys anatomy imagine

[hoe4rairai]

❌️ RAIAN FEVER TODAY ❌️

My Answers ❣️ :

1- If you were in Raian's universe, will you accept him as he is ? The murdere , the Assassin ...

Hard at the beginning, but I will grow a thicker skin if he only assassins bad people. Otherwise, it's a huge pill I might not even be able to swallow. Also, if he likes animals, it might be a bit easier to accept his job.

2- Continue dating him after what he's done to Alan ?

YES ... but it will take me a while to accept what I saw him doing, and i might not be relaxed for a while when he's around me. If I distant myself from him, he will go and never come back because he'll think I don't support him. However, I DOOOo support him, especially with these worms. But the mere fact that he torn a full-grown human ass apart will not settle well with me at the beginning . Speaking about it might be a good idea, but I can't show Raian my discomfort, as to him, it means weakness, and he hates mentally or physically weak people. My my discomfort might have, however, show unintentionally when he touches me or makes a sudden move on me. I can't help it, I am not a kure , my brain functions differently.

3- Will you support his mission to destroy the Worm and accept that he might never come back ?

I support his mission 💯... If He might never come back, I will probably disappear as well. In the alternate universe, Raian will be the air I breathe, so him not around ever again means no point for me to live , so i will go search for him in hell and live with my king for eternity .( too dramatic, I know 🤣 )

4- Will you be able to handle his rough handling and obsession over his power ?

Me personally, i am obsessed over his power and i brag about it whenever i get a chance, but with me, I might have to keep reminding him gently every now and then that I am breakable and I would need little TLC every now and then, specially that time of the month, he however, will do whatever he pleases until i show some physical discomfort, then he snuggles with me like a kitty, I SWEAR HE PURRRSSSSS.

5- If you were transported to Kengan universe, how would you seek his attention ?

Looooool .. I have no Fuckin idea .... he likes strong women physically and mentally. I will surely be a mantal challenge for him. It's not hard to be chased by men if you play the right cards, but with the Kure Devil, I better be quick-witted and challangbleonce once the bait gets hooked he will claim me. AND I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN. Am just worried about the aftermath ☠️☠️

6- In Kengan univers, how would you want to look like ? Describe yourself ( looks, figure, hair, strength, height, weight , foreign or Japanese , job.. what will your unique feature be ? SET YOUR IMAGINATION FREE

It's not so much different from how I look in reality. I am 162cm and 50kgs . umm, maybe longer hair , like a long breeded dark black hair. I would probably want to look like a human cute but sexy cat 😄😁😁 Meow. Though, I know he would be attracted to a unique beauty with a twisted yet mysterious personality that I can be, but Raian , likes his woman big and strong, so I might not stand a chance if ever ...

8- How you met ?

7- Imagine your first kiss / Sex .. ! It's NOT traditional ...!!!

First Kiss : forced, pushed, and messy but will deepen when I gradually lose my grip.

Sex : he won't be an asshole but he will manhandle me , and I think I will get attached after that. It won't be easy at first to adjust to his black sharp eyes paralyzing my body and soul or the positions he will force my body into that would make me very vulnerable and hopeless and SCARED but I will get attentive when he slows down a bit and relaxes.

I WANT TO READ ALL YOUR WILD IMAGINATION YOU HAVE ABOUT THIS MAN ...

At Fusui's apartment. Visiting, I saw a huge body laying on the couch semi naked face down . I mean, I could surf full board on that broad back ... Fusui gestured not to make a sound, but his presence tickled me so I purposely spoke loud, he Turned and his eyes looking at was enough to sent me into her room in a blink of an eye shutting close and wasn't sure if my mind captured the picture of his angry face correctly or I literally saw a real devil in my bestie's living room ..?!!!!!!

Disclaimer: My blog is a safe place for your imaginative mind. We all are wild for this man, and it's perfectly fine to have a comfort character. Don't be shy to go absolutely wild ... 😜 🎶 😉 🤪

#kenganverse #kengan omega #kengan ashura #kengan ashura imagines #raian kure #kure raian #the devil

[rdbrainz]

Hi there! If you're still accepting Bleach requests, may I see your headcannons based on the Bleach Jet art of the Espadas and Quincies in delinquent school uniforms (specifically Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and Bazz-B)? That official art just gave me major brain worms, and I really like your art and headcannons >.< Also, do you happen to have a Ko-fi/patreon to send donations to?

ACTUALLY funny enough I've been thinking about this art a lot myself lmao so I do have some headcanons! as for my ko-fi or patreon.. like I said before transferring money out of them is impossible where I am right now but I made a boosty acc (I'll link it in my bio)

First I wanna add that I just can't see Stark as a high schooler x). He has the vibe of a teacher who somehow ended up with the worst classes in school despite his formidable reputation. Though maybe he was a delinquent himself in the past so he knows how to deal with these little shits. He also has a soft spot for them so as strict as this man can be he cuts them a lot of slack. Like for example I'm sure Nnoitra would smoke in this AU so I think the first day Stark started working with them they met on the rooftop on the lunch break while Gilga was smoking and instead of scolding him Stark just asked for a cig. Nnoitra almost shit himself. I'm also sure he would ask his class to look after his daughter Lilynette so she won't get into any trouble with that attitude of hers. She's probably in middle school or a couple of years younger than them so yeah... the lil sis of the group...

Despite the differences and constant bickering Nnoitra and Grimmjow are basically attached at the hip. I can see them being childhood frenemies actually. Ulquiorra and Szayel are also somewhere in their orbit of course but these two are the worst duo to stumble upon. Very notorious

Ulquiorra is obviously the class president given the armband. He tries his best to mediate the conflicts between his classmates or make them behave better but it's all in vain. Mostly. Some days he's just not in the mood to be responsible and reasonable when dealing with all the bullshit. When trying to bring delinquents to reason you have to be either very respected among them or more fierce than them and Ulquiorra certainly lacks the authority because of his character and swaglessness. He's very scary when mad however. Everybody knows this by now but they just keep trying their fate. Like I'm telling you once he unbuttons his gakuran it's so fucking over

Unlike Grimmjow Nnoitra is actually bothered with his grades enough to try and work for them and/or study (not all the time of course what do you think he's a loser or something?) It includes scaring people into doing his homework, snatching papers out of Ulquiorra's hands right before the class starts (he's used to it so he carries around two sets of hw) or if he REALLY needs to pass an exam he goes to Szayel, the class smartass. The latter is literally equivalent to dying and going through hell to him because he has to abandon all his pride. If you have a shit ton of money you always can try and ask Szayel to help you. Sure. A little bit of humiliation and you actually know the subject. However when it comes to Nnoitra the freak won't let him breathe because: 1) he doesn't need his money, Nnoitra has plenty and it's already stolen anyway so what's the fun? 2) asking a fellow delinquent you have a beef with for help has different means of payment 3) he just really wants to fuck with this guy's head since he thinks Nnoitra is a curious fella. Gilga is well aware of all of this and he's well aware that Szayel will make him polish his boots with his tongue before even considering helping him with acquiring the forbidden chemistry knowledge. So he has to really work for it whether it's a fistfight or running errands for Szayelaporro. It's a good thing Grantz stays true to his word

Grimmjow has a well-accessorized uniform thanks to Nnoitra but his casual clothing is hilariously uncool. I'm convinced this guy has zero taste both in clothing and prints/patterns because he couldn't care less about what other people think is considered fashionable when all he needs personally is functionality and comfort. He knows how to rock a good hairstyle though but if he wants to wear flip-flops outside then so be it

Nnoitra spends all the money he gets on new accessories and CDs (and maybe sometimes porno magazines) for which he constantly gets picked on. If it's someone not from his immediate friend circle then it's not even worth thinking about - left, right, goodnight. As if he's gonna let anyone get too fucking cheeky with him. He's infamous for being called slurs and then bashing the person's head in for this every week because he wears heels and had to endure children being mean to him because of his eye in kindergarten and primary school so it's no big deal really. But if it's Grimmjow then it's a fucking word battle to death he just can't let it slide. Jaegerjaquez really thinks Nnoitra is gonna get strangled by one of his necklaces one of those days but whatever. It's up to him. His music taste however... Now that's something they quarrel about all the time. "I mean I'm not saying anything! Sure you can buy new TOOL CDs all you want.. cough cough... fucking loser.. cough"

Bazz-B was hell-bent on making friends with Grimmjow because he genuinely thinks this guy is awesome. Look at his laid-back attitude and vicious ways! His blue hair, his style! Ohhh, to be like him!!! Jaegerjaquez on the other hand was not very impressed with how annoying Bazz could get with his neverending attempts of talking to him. Too energetic and loud for his liking. He already has Nnoitra and his big fat mouth he constantly runs all he wants so another talkative guy next to him would be too much for his everyday life. He would literally tell him to fuck off and threaten him with a beating of his life but unfortunately it got Bazz even more fired up. Damn weirdo. And a major pain in the ass. They did find a common ground in the end though and it's... A motorcycle that Bazz owns. Bazzard suggested they could take a ride together as a last resort and it was all it took to buy Grimm. Imagine the most excited person you've ever met and they still won't be as excited as Grimmjow was at that moment. Instant fucking boner! "Dibs on driving though" "Deal!" Grimmjow was surprised to reveal that Bazz-B is actually fun to be around and not as annoying as he initially thought he was. Nnoitra made a joke about them having a date the next day though

I think here Bazz-B suffers the same fate as Sakuragi Hanamichi in the beginning of Slam Dunk which is constantly trying to get girls on a date but being brutally rejected each time lmao 😭It's not like he is a bad-looking guy no it's actually the opposite but his personality and hot-headedness are too much to bear for girls he's going after

Askin is a great negotiator and he knows his way around with words but other than that he sucks. He's not a bad guy, just chronically fucking uncool and has to hide behind other people's backs because of mediocre fighting abilities. He also gets in all kinds of stupid situations because he just can't keep his thoughts to himself sometimes which is a bad asset to his cheesiness

Äs Nödt is also not very good at fighting but he's more useful than Askin lol. A smartass and a menace who is talented at collecting data and black-mail on people by eavesdropping and other means. He's the one who proposes the most out-of-pocket ways of taking revenge on other gangs or teaching someone a lesson so you better be careful with him

I hope I'll make more art of this later cuz I'm a bit burnt out rn

#bleach #nnoitra gilga #grimmjow jaegerjaquez #ulquiorra cifer #szayelaporro granz #bazz b #bazz-b #askin nakk le vaar #as nodt

[badaziraphaletakes]

This may be a bad place to ask this question, but I have a bad headache and feel like making poor choices.

If some fans who have posited this turn out to be right-I will not feel surprised or that the story choice was unfounded or unearned- but at the moment I'm of the personal opinion that Aziraphale really did like the idea of going back to Heaven to fix it from the inside with Crowley and that his face at the end is a mixture of sadness about breaking up with Crowley and alarm at what Metatron has just revealed about the second coming.

If we take the story at face value-I am struggling to see why this would engender quite so much hatred of Aziraphale. In taking the narrative at face value as I am currently doing- I see a being desperate for approval and acceptance in an abusive system that they've believed in their whole lives and breaking out of that is really really difficult and sometimes there are setbacks. I guess one of the emotions I feel for Aziraphale right now is pity.

Given some recent blog posts of your's on my dash, I think there might be something I'm missing though?

This may be a bad place to ask this question, but I have a bad headache and feel like making poor choices.

Hi! Thanks for reaching out! It’s not a poor choice! We definitely want to keep these lines of dialogue open :) We try our best to be respectful when engaging in discussions like these! After all, our goal is to promote a more respectful and inclusive fandom.

If some fans who have posited this turn out to be right-I will not feel surprised or that the story choice was unfounded or unearned- but at the moment I'm of the personal opinion that Aziraphale really did like the idea of going back to Heaven to fix it from the inside with Crowley and that his face at the end is a mixture of sadness about breaking up with Crowley and alarm at what Metatron has just revealed about the second coming.

It’s certainly possible. I don’t blame him for wanting to believe what the Metatrash said - after all, ever since Crowley fell, Aziraphale has never for one moment imagined that there’s any possible scenario where he and Crowley could be safe together, so no wonder he leapt at the idea of them both being able to be in heaven together (assuming that’s what happened and he wasn’t, idk, bluffing or something - but I’m not even gonna open that can of worms lol). Also, I don’t personally think it’s wrong of him to want to try to fix heaven from the inside, either. It’s not like he has any other choice, after all.

I am struggling to see why this would engender quite so much hatred of Aziraphale. Us too! :)

In taking the narrative at face value as I am currently doing Fwiw, I don’t think anyone is or isn’t taking the FF “at face value”. It’s very clear there’s a lot of the FF we didn’t see and a lot of things about it that were deliberately meant to be confusing. It makes sense that some people think Aziraphale was happy at the idea of Crowley going back to heaven and some people don’t and some people think Crowley stopped time and some people don’t and some people think the whole thing was planned and some people think Aziraphale had a bullet in his mouth and some don’t, lol! :)

I see a being desperate for approval and acceptance in an ab*sive system that they've believed in their whole lives That’s definitely one possible explanation and if that is what was going on in Azi’s brain, that’s FINE and NOBODY has the right to condemn him for it.

But here’s the thing: We saw that Metatrash could hear what was being said in the bookshop and that Aziraphale knew that.

Given that, it’s a very safe bet that the conversation was very different because Aziraphale knew he was listening.

(We also have the extremely unsubtle “coffee or death” metaphor and we saw that Metatrash tapped the Coffee or Death logo which just happened to be facing toward Aziraphale and that Aziraphale saw him do it. Metatrash was holding a gun to his head.)

Is it possible that Aziraphale wants Metatrash’s/heaven’s approval and acceptance / still believes in him to some extent? Sure. HOWEVER. We should never assume victims believe the things their ab*sers force them to say. As a survivor, I can attest that that assumption is exceptionally painful and burdensome for victims to have to live with and multiplies the psychological harm. (And sadly, the assumption is rampant in our culture. There have been studies that show that people think victims in hostage videos who read statements prepared by their kidnappers with a gun held to their head actually believe the things they’re being forced to say. It’s deeply troubling. Not saying this is what you’re doing just to be clear lol!)

Victims get into this horrible mental pretzel of thinking that they’re as bad as their ab*ser and must secretly like and/or deserve and/or "cause" the ab*se, and so on, yada yada yada. It plays into the ab*ser's goals of causing alienation from friends and loved ones so that the victim has to depend completely on them for physical and emotional reasons, and of eroding the victim's sense of self, by making them think they're a bad person. (E.g. Victim thinks "I must be a bad person, because if I were a good person, I wouldn't have let [ab*ser's name] make me say that my friend is fat" etc etc). It’s really one of the most depressing aspects of ab*se.

Given that, I think practicing giving Aziraphale (or whatever character) the benefit of the doubt and defaulting to the interpretation of his motives that attributes as much influence as possible to the literal gun to his head lol (i.e. he’s going back to heaven because he doesn’t have a choice and needs to do it to protect Crowley, slash also to save the world, because, let’s face it, it’s not like they have any other options; they were only able to interfere with Armageddon in S1 because Crowley’s official position working for hell gave him an in) is good for us to get into the habit of, so we can make sure we extend the same respect and dignity to real-life victims/survivors. (At this blog we are HUGE believers in the idea that the way we behave toward characters informs the way we behave toward real-life people, and also reflects it).

and breaking out of that is really really difficult and sometimes there are setbacks.

Absolutely. The physical setbacks (i.e. “my ab*ser will kill me if I leave” &c &c) are far too often underattributed, however, with far too much of victims’ motivations for staying being put down to “psychological confusion” or “emotional ties” or whatever. I wish we as a society would pay more attention to how to solve the problem of ab*sers committing ab*se in the first place, and then why they are so much more likely to kill their victims if they try to leave, rather than the question of why some victims are still in love with their ab*sers and so on and so forth. Because that is the only way we'll ever find a solution. Whether you’d want to stay with the ab*ser even if you had the choice to leave is completely irrelevant when you can’t leave because they’d kill you if you did.

I guess one of the emotions I feel for Aziraphale right now is pity.

Us too!

Given some recent blog posts of your's on my dash, I think there might be something I'm missing though?

Hope this helped! :) Again, thank you for a very thoughtful ask! It gave me an opportunity to revisit some points that I think bear re-iterating frequently on the blog anyway, so I appreciate that!

#good omens #goodomens #aziraphale #good omens 2 #goodomens2 #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #ineffablehusbands #cw: abuse #ineffable divorce #aziraphale defense squad #aziraphale my beloved

[xoxoemynn]

hey marianne tell us about the wip you're most excited about in as much detail as you want

HOO BOY WOULD I LOVE TO. And I have yet to consolidate this into an elevator pitch so it'll definitely be long. It started off as an Old Hollywood/Broadway AU and now has spiraled into what I'd say most simply is a dimension travel AU that's also a bit of a meta commentary on OFMD's cancellation.

I'll put it under a cut because this DID actually get annoyingly long.

OKAY SO. We have 1990s Ed. He's a legendary Broadway performer known mostly as a dancer but he's been getting a bit sick of it, but also doesn't know what he'd want to do next since he's still relatively young. He keeps putting it off until he injures his knee in a show and can no longer dance, and now he's forced to actually figure out what he's going to do next.

While he's depressed and recovering, he passes the time watching old black and white musicals. He discovers the dance team of Stede Bonnet and Mary Allamby (loosely inspired by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, who were baby's first hyperfixation as a pre-teen, making this a VERY exciting project for me personally) and is immediately in awe of Stede, although surprised he's never heard of him before.

Through some hand-waving, Ed eventually realizes he's able to talk to Stede through the TV, and then later that he's actually able to enter the TV itself and exist in Stede's world. Except it's not just the 1930s. Stede's literally been living in a kind of grayscale purgatory that looks like his film sets. He has no concept of the passage of time, or even exactly what happened that caused him to be stuck there, and he's the only real person existing there, until Ed shows up.

Naturally they quickly fall in love, but they have a bit of a star-crossed lovers thing going on because they can't FULLY be together, and they also have different wants in life. For Ed, he LOVES being in this black and white world. He's in love with Stede, his knee doesn't bother him there, he gets to explore these really cool art deco film sets, he doesn't have to think about what he's going to do with his life. He gets to just be happy. For him, being in a black and white world cut off from everyone else but Stede is a small and worthy sacrifice for all that.

But Stede's been trapped there for 60 years with no sign of escape, and he misses being in the real world. He loves having Ed there and loves Ed, but he also wonders what else is out there. He misses being out in the real world and seeing everything in color and experiencing life off a Hollywood film set that was specifically designed to be entirely escapist for filmgoers looking to get away from their problems during the Great Depression.

So the bulk of the story is about Ed and Stede navigating their relationship and how they can really be together, as well as uncovering what happened to Stede in the first place that caused him to be trapped. It's got big themes of authenticity, acceptance, the temptation of avoidance, and being comfortable in the unknown. Influences that have wormed their way in include The Giver, Pleasantville, The Red Shoes, Barbie (lol), The Haunting of Hill House, Zaslav being a fuckhead, and an experimental art film called The Afterlight. It's taken me a LONG time to plan it because the world-building was really complex and there were a ton of little nuances to sort out, but I'm finally in a good place to really start writing it. I'm very excited because there are at least two REALLY sad scenes in it that I am 😈 about. But DEFINITELY a happy ending with a huge thread of hope running throughout, and is ultimately about creating a life for yourself where you can be your most authentic self, as terrifying as that may be.

THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO RAMBLE I LOVE YOU. 💕

#ask #fakestgeekboy #I have been ITCHING to find a way to blend my current pirate hyperfixation with my OG old Hollywood hyperfixation #and naturally I couldn't make it easy #but I am VERY excited about it

[rosie-kairi]

You know watching that clip of Roxas wanting to know the truth of his origins I can't help but laugh nervously like oh Roxas sweetheart honeybun trust me you do not want to know because the truth is so much worse than he thinks in canon.

Cause you think it's pretty simple right? Sora gives up his heart thus Roxas is born. Oh but he looks like Ven? Well makes sense Ven was released alongside Sora's heart and made its way to Roxas. But then we have to get to the how and why they ended up like that in the first place. Cause if you think about it too long like I did you realize jesus christ the road to Roxas creation was paved with blood and mass murder O_O

In order for Roxas to be born Ventus has to be in the future (present? whatever time travel is wonky) and he has to end up alone in the keyblade graveyard and be abused for a year by xehanort and then get dumped on the destiny islands to die. But before that we have to go back to the age of fairy tales when Ven is a union leader traps an original Darkness within himself nearly dying in the process and everyone figures out that MoM essentially is using them as live bait to trap the other darkness' and leave the dandelions to die. But before we get to that we have to go back a year to when MoM purposefully sowed the seeds of discord amongst his apprentices so their friendship would fracture and the fissures would go to the unions causing everyone to turn on each other. Tensions start rising and before we know it a full blown war breaks out and thousands of children are sacrificed as they cut each other down and MoM is just off to the side watching all this like, "yeah this is an acceptable turn of events I am absolutely okay instigating the slaughter of thousands of innocent children and destruction of the world to defeat darkness this is indeed a worthwhile and good plan :)"

But before even that we have to go to like 10 minutes before (well 2 years and 10 minutes before I guess) because Strelitzia was meant to be a union leader but she was obsessed with player and wanted to save them from the keyblade war, and Darkness chose her to be a necessary sacrifice by taking advantage of a little boy's pain and loneliness and swapping their places. Had they not done that Ven likely would've died in the keyblade war meaning none of the following events post war would've played out the way it needed to for Roxas to exist.

So going back to Sora his heart joins with a traumatized and dying Ven as a newborn saving him. Then 4 years go by and Ven seeks sanctuary with Sora after almost dying again. This puts Sora within Xehanort's path and Sora's world eventually falls. His love and conviction for his friends keeps him going but he ends up having to fight his best friend seemingly to the death and has to essentially kill himself to wake up the love of his life not even sure if he'll survive what he's about to do. So before he dies he gives one last big grin and prepares to meet his fate like Ven has before him. And it is the release of Kairi and Ven's wounded heart that leads to Roxas being born.

All it took was a megalomaniac keyblade master deciding yeah the painful death of thousands of children and countless worlds plus the death of a few hundred is absolutely worth trapping darkness but his plan goes a bit sideways and the union leaders escape and manage to build back some of the world that inevitably leads Xehanort to his own crazy scheme and the egging on of the hidden 6th apprentice also manipulating things behind the scenes and destroying the innocence and lives of two innocent boys who only ever wanted to be with their friends and live their lives with them. And we still haven't fully touched on Vanitas which is a different can of worms. If even one bad thing deviated or didn't happen no Roxas. So everything had to go perfectly wrong for everyone for him to be here.

So yeah Roxas are you sure you wanna know where you came from or why? Are you sure you want to burden the full knowledge when even the one's who paid the price currently don't? Is it really worth it Roxas? Is it?

The sheer amount of events in the Kingdom Hearts timeline that exists solely due to an insane domino effect the likes of which humanity has never before seen is frankly ridiculous.

What if Baldr never succumbed to darkness and killed every single one of his friends except Xehanort and Eraqus (and BragiLuxu)? Xeha and Eraqus would've never had their views of Darkness vs Light twisted so much that they became extreme extremists. Without Xehanort doing his. thing. the entire plot of "current day" Kingdom Hearts would not have happened. Same thing goes for the what-if of Xehanort never leaving Destiny Islands.

Similarly, what would've happened if the Destiny trio never left Destiny Islands/DI never fell to darkness in KH1?

What if Strelitzia never died and got replaced by Ven? Or, what if one of the other Union Leaders was killed by darkness? What if the Foretellers never fought each other?

Of course, this all leads back to "what if the Master of Masters wasn't who he is as a person."

Roxas is the culmination of hundreds, if not thousands of years of bloodshed and interfered destiny all represented by a singular teenage nobody who eats a lot of ice cream and cares a lot about a lot of different things (most of all, his friends)

#ask rosie a question! #anon ask #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts union x #khux #kingdom hearts dark road #khdr #kh roxas #roxas #kh ventus #ventus

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

I was scrolling through Twitter yesterday when I saw one of the most chilling photos of my life, one that really illustrated the horrors of this ongoing genocide. It was a picture of two dead children, barely older than my nephews, crushed under rubble. One of them had an ashy, lifeless face; the other, their eye was bulging out of their skull. I’ve seen some messed up videos and photos in my time, but this hits different than those did.

I’m a father myself. And as a father, I hate anything bad happening to children. My little girl loves to play outside, lift rocks to say hi to worms and ants, ride a tricycle, watch our cats eat… and seeing that picture made me wonder if they liked to say hi to worms, if they liked to ride their tricycles, and if they liked to sing and dance and play. The thought was rhetorical because the answer is obvious. And how they can never do any of that again.

I’ve not been oblivious to the Palestinian genocide—I’ve been keeping up with it since October 7, and I know this picture is nothing new for those suffering under the fascist tyranny of Israel’s colonizers… but this was mercifully my first time actually seeing dead children. No one should have to see dead children.

This is what my tax dollars are paying for. My government takes my money to arm fascists who murder children and expects me to just accept this and go vote for Biden again because Trump would be even worse. He’d kill children, he’d brutalize protestors, he’d undermine democracy and engage in imperialism and colonialism… but all that is happening right now. Am I supposed to vote blue no matter who when the blue is as soaked in the blood of innocents as the red?

Maybe before I thought Biden could be the lesser evil here, but that was before I was truly confronted with the undeniable effects of his evil. There is the blood of children on his hands, and unless he does more to end this before November, he does not have my vote. I’m not going to pick which fascist gets to murder children.

[iridescentxstars]

siren!bangchan x pirate!reader || edging + exhibitionism — anon || wc: 920~

— siren's call, reader still has the ability to think but chooses to give consent.

all kinktober drabbles are smut and mature rated; if you are a minor DNI

You heard a song, a song that wormed its way into your eardrums and made you walk to the edge of the boat. Looking around, you realised that nobody could hear it because if they had, wouldn't they want to know where it was coming from? That beautiful, captivating voice is calling out for you to listen.

Sirens. You were warned about them when you boarded the ship. You were told to cover your ears if you ever heard a siren's song because it'll make you go crazy and have you diving deep into the abyss below before they eat your flesh.

Your name is called but you don't register it as you stand on the edge of the ship, looking out to the shore that you are sure you can swim to. "Don't-" Too late, you've taken the plunge and the ocean isn't kind to you as you try to swim towards the voice serenading you from afar.

He's calling you, urging you to come to him and how can you resist?

Maybe you should have resisted, maybe you should have paid more attention to what the others warned you about when leaving your homeland because you have no clue where you are or how long you've been here. Time passes differently when you are stranded and the only person that is with you is the siren who calls to you every night but you kept telling him no.

You don't know how long you can resist him though, your mind is slowly driven insane by the loneliness after what feels like months. The siren calls every night and you say no but soon you find yourself calling him. Talking, trying to connect, figure out why he hasn't killed you yet.

The sky is dark, splattered with stars, and you hear the waves washing along the shores but what you hear amongst all the other sounds, beyond the undisturbed life that surrounds you, you hear him. The siren, calling for you once more. "I'm here," you whisper. you've decided that you don't want to fight him anymore, even if you are going to die - you need to see another being at least once. "Where are you?"

Chan's eyes shine in the night when he hears you calling for him to reveal himself to you. He's been keeping his distance, talking with you when he's bored and finding you interesting for a human. You are more than he could have imagined, you were meant to be a feast for him to dine on but you became slightly more than that. Relief from his own loneliness.

How could he kill you when you both crave the same thing?

"You're beautiful." He finally tells you as he approaches, your eyes widening when you see the way the moonlight catches on his skin, the shadows accentuating the dips in his abdomen and showing the defined body even in the night. Even though he's been watching you from the shadows day and night, you've never seen him. "Nobody has ever resisted as long as you. You are a wonder."

"I thought I'd be rescued," you admit and hug yourself when Chan gets closer because you know that's not going to happen. "I've accepted that I'm not."

He doesn't want to admit he had grown attached over the time shared because it's not like you had anything deeply meaningful, conversations that were mostly you speaking and him listening but... he had begun to enjoy your presence and he couldn't imagine being alone again. "Will you offer yourself to me tonight?" The song he usually sings is no longer playing and you look up in surprise. "I am curious, pretty pirate. You... intrigue me."

Caught up in the moment, the gentle and confusing moment, you kiss. Something tender even if there's fear residing underneath.

Soon, Chan watches as you stand, your tattered clothes slowly being removed from your body as you undress and there's a shiver that runs through you when you stand there naked, his eyes looking over your body while licking his lips and the wind's cool breeze chills you slightly. "Show me more. Lay down." His words are barely above a whisper but they resonate in your head as you lay on the ground and spread your legs.

You want this. You wanted to live, to be found, but that hope is gone because these waters are dangerous and you now know that so as much as you wanted to live - you don't want to die alone either.

Touching yourself to his song, you give Chan a show, you have his eyes on you and engaged with everything you do. When you pinch a nipple, when you gasp and when your fingers finally slip into your soaked core. Chan is hooked. You don't realise that while he is engrossed in what you are doing, he's been edging you, his song stopping which has your fingers stopping too before both starts again when you aren't so on edge.

You are a treat. More than he could have hoped for.

Time moves slowly as you're brought to the edge and then stopped, the dawn chasing away the night until you can't handle it anymore. "Please, have mercy." You beg, wanting to reach your release so badly that you are practically crying for it.

"I am," Chan whispers as he pulls your hands away from your body, leaning forward to capture your lips and sigh, his breath mixing with yours. "I'm letting you live."

#kinktober22 #kvanity #straykidsland #bangchan drabbles #chan drabbles #bang chan drabbles #stray kids drabbles #skz drabbles #bangchan smut #bang chan smut #chan smut #chris bang drabbles #chris bang smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #♛ — ©iridescentxstars #lets pretend i posted this yesterday

[kimbapisnotsushi]

Your headcanons are always wonderful and accurate, can I please request some for shiratorizawa if you want?

oh my god hell yeah anon let's go

tendou's studying playlist is just all chill lofi remixes of pokemon soundtracks. he also loooooves those nanoblock pokemon figures you build yourself and wants to collect the entire eevee evolution line for his desk

(i have a galarian ponyta btw and i am totally accepting name suggestions for it)

the one way to piss off semi real fast is to say "and now, wonderwall!" whenever he walks into the room with his guitar

also may i introduce you to this wonderful thing called semiten

i kind of get the feeling they don't get along as first-years? first-year tendou is bffs with ushijima which means he's finally settled into being needlessly obnoxious bc ushijima is unflappable and takes tendou's bullshit with the utmost sincerity and first-year semi is hungry and aching and determined to prove himself

it is a terrible terrible combo at first

but, slowly, they settle into each other much like how dust settles into the cracks and crevices of a house long loved

and then second year happens and shirabu comes and everything falls apart again LMAAAAAAAAAOOOO

y'all know i love shirabu but like. goddamn if second-year semi wasn't full of angst and awkwardness about growing up and puberty and being cast to the side and all tendou wanted to do was reach out and grab him by the shoulders and yell in his face "YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH YOU IDIOT I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU YOU'RE ENOUGH"

anyways

yamagata wanted to get his ears pierced but he's also afraid of needles so reon had to hold his hand through it the entire time

tendou somehow has access to the dorm rooftop because of course he does and he makes the team have picnics up there for bonding time

goshiki: "shirabu-san, would you still set for me if i was a worm?" shirabu: "what makes you think i'd set for you now?"

during a joint practice match with karasuno narita praises goshiki and goshiki starts tearing up

karasuno first-year crew is genuinely so blessed to have the upperclassmen they do. like guys come on think about it they are SO spoiled with it like holy hell i feel terrible for the other miyagi first years

(that deserves its own separate post tho)

someone starts the rumor that tendou is an esper and he does absolutely nothing to deny this, but he DOES do everything to confirm it. one of his classmates will be like "haha yeah i lost my textbook i guess i'll have to get a new one" and tendou will be like "ooh you should try looking inside the music room piano after five pm ;)" and the classmate is like "wtf" bc they've never been to the music room in their life but they go do it anyways and it's THERE

(tendou may or may not have paid goshiki to swipe the textbook and plant it)

KAWANISHI my beloved i haven't forgotten him

yeah yeah kozume kenma is a master gamer BUT kawanishi taichi is on the 3713th level of candy crush which is also, coincidentally, the level that i am on right now

also i think kawanishi is def one of those ppl who has earbuds tucked in at all times bc a) he thinks it makes him look cool and b) it keeps people from talking to him

and if they do try talking to him he just whips out his phone and makes a big show of blasting the volume to the point where the other person can hear it coming from his earbuds

also you know how tendou told semi that he looks uncool in casual clothes??? that's definitely a cover-up for tendou thinking semi looks really good in them

tendou, lying face-down in his pillow on the dorm floor: " - and did you see the ripped jeans??? ripped jeans are SO stupid they shouldn't even look that good he should have been freezing his ass off but noooooo he looked like he stepped out of a goddamn MAGAZINE - " reon, texting yamagata at the same time: "you need to raid semi's closet and burn his clothes i can't do this anymore"

#they are SO stupid i love them #FUKURODANI ANON IF YOU'RE READING THIS I'M WORKING ON THAT ONE NEXT #semiten #ushijima wakatoshi #tendou satori #semi eita #yamagata hayato #ohira reon #shirabu kenjirou #kawanishi taichi #goshiki tsutomu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #sou says stuff

[kimmimaru]

My vets have just fucked me over. My pup, Rocky, has a nasty lump on his ear, I got a biopsy because they weren't sure if it was cancerous or not. Luckily it was not, but it could be one of two things: a lump that a lot of younger dogs get that gets bigger over time before eventually going away on its own, or one that will just keep getting bigger and bigger and not stop. So I wanted to have it removed, because either way there's a big chance of irritation and infection, since he has big ear flaps.

Turns out the vets no longer accept my current insurance provider, so I can't go through my insurance and can't afford the operation without it (you know, its why I got pet insurance in the first place). Now, I can change insurer, except its unlikely I'll find an affordable one that will cover preexisting conditions like the ear lump. Or I could find a new vet, except there is one vet in my town that I can get to easily without a car. So if there's an emergency I can actually get my dog to the vet if there's no one available to give me a lift. So yeah, changing vets is possible but it would be a huge risk that someday I may end up in a situation where Rocky needs immediate vetinary care and I would be unable to get him to the vet.

I don't know what to do. I can afford normal treatments, like flea stuff and worm tablets and even his regular jabs, but if something big happens I would not be able to pay the bill without insurance. Its a no-win situation and I am pissed.

[msfbgraves]

((Anyway, Terry is always haunted by the fact that he hurt his relationship with Daniel himself, on purpose,))

THAT’S JUST IT THOUGH! Did he actively seek to hurt Daniel from the start (that night), or after (the cheating). Because if so…that’s so very cruel and brutal, and also…what the hell was he thinking?? That sweet Danny boy would just accept that and forgive him and still run back into his arms all ready to be cuddled or something?? There’s fucking up, and then there’s Terry Silver’s level of Fucking Up. He is very lucky that Daniel has forgiven him for ALL his fuckups—he should get down on his knees and thank the Lord! So sorry you have to put up with this fool Daniel lmao 🤣 I AM glad it haunts Terry though. Hopefully until the day he dies!

(But yeah, love them together in this fic 💜)

I'm reopening a can of worms here but yes, Terry did mean to hurt Daniel, if it started by him wanting to hurt Michael.

Except he couldn't, he lost a confrontation with him, felt he'd lost face, so what's the nearest thing to Michael he has available to him? Daniel. Daniel whose loyalty he doubts. Daniel he can have sex with, always a bonus, because it makes him feel good and strong; but tonight, he's also angry with Michael, very lowkey angry and insecure about Daniel's very strong attachment to his roots - would Daniel even side with him if it came to it? And sure, he's not analysing this consciously when he comes home to him, it's simply a brutal mix of circumstances, but still - you can hurt someone while having sex with them, something which is very difficult to prove to boot so when the opportunity arises he simply does what he wants with Daniel because he wants to prop himself up and hurt the LaRussos and get his anger out at Daniel's 'lack of loyalty' without endangering Daniel's physical health. Because that would show. And because he still loves him but that's not what he chooses to act on. And he's choosing not to stop himself but simply let out all these simmering irrational resentments, because, well, he's the Alpha here, he makes the rules.

And he thinks he can win his omega back after because he deep down doesn't think his mate will be very hurt by this. Hurt enough to satisfy Terry's ego, but nothing he couldn't fix. And all of this errupts in like 20 angry seconds, and Terry's angry, horny ass feels he'll deal with the consequences after he gets his fix of happy and ego boosting chemicals.

And a nice deep sleep.

And it's brutal. It's meant to be really brutal. It's so brutal in fact that even Terry wakes up hungover from this. He was, maybe, lost in the act when it happened - but part of him picked up on what Daniel's puppies could also feel, and that is: "uhoh. I hurt him - much more than I meant to."

But then when Daniel won't let him apologise - won't let himself be kissed and cuddled and wined and dined and bought back, but takes the baby and leaves, only for Terry to have to deal with four distraught pups and a seething mother-in-law - he lets his anger win again. Because he wasn't truly sorry. Daniel was supposed to make him feel better about himself, and he's left him. That is Not Allowed. Danny doesn't get to reject Terry, in any verse.

Only when Terry then physically feels the difference between his darling and some "kitty" does something finally shut up his ego long enough to make him realise what he's done, the idiot.

These two nights have a very, very long shadow because Terry had to learn that he didn't conquer Daniel and a great marriage like this is simply his due. He has a good marriage because Daniel has put his entire soul into building it and he can stop doing that, actually. Also that Terry better pray Daniel loves his mate and his pups enough to keep Terry alive. Even Amanda was like: "I love my brother to death but even I lowkey agree you should have killed him over this." And Terry does learn, but terrible actions like these have more severe consequences than any apology can negate. And it will colour your marriage, it will change how you love each other. Because they love each other through this, but at the cost of Daniel's innocence and Terry's confidence as a mate. Part of Terry used to fear that Daniel wouldn't grow to love him. Now, he'll always have to fear that Daniel will stop. Which makes him an insanely devoted mate, but at the cost of his peace of mind.

Pray all he wants, not even God can fix this completely.

#silverusso #knights and pawns #omegaverse #mob au #tw marital abuse #marital rape #r*pe tw #sa mention #abuse tw #tw cheating

[winderlylandchime]

I was watching 1x22 as one does when they want to feel all the feelings and it made me think about some stuff. And now I need second opinions because I am going a bit insane. I had this thought after watching Brian absolutely lose it which is: how would it go if Justin didn’t get bashed? I mean it’s no secret that they shared something beautiful on that dance floor and they both knew that and then in the garage as well. Even Brian knew that no matter how he’d deny it. So I keep thinking what would’ve season 2 looked like if the bashing didn’t happen, how would Britin be and more importantly what would Brian be like? Because obviously the bashing was a big reason why we got the s2 we did and that included Brian finally coming to somewhat terms that he loves Justin. But I can’t stop wondering what would’ve happened otherwise. And this message might’ve been triggered a little bit by the thought that Justin never remembered their dance :(

Hello dear sweet anon!

"watching 1x22 as one does when they want to feel all the feelings" Truthier words have never been typed.

I think this is a fantastic question and I think it truly should be a fic (THAT SOMEONE ELSE WRITES MY LIST OF IDEAS IS TOO LONG) because I cannot do it justice in a response here on tumblr dot com.

I will try, of course.

I think a few things are true:

Brian lost out on his dream to move to NYC and big the next big new thing to someone younger than he is. (Me in my 40s thinking about someone who has just turned 30 losing out on a role that benefits from having experience to someone even younger is rolling my eyes, but sure QAF, we'll believe it.) So he's stuck in Pittsburgh.

Michael, his best friend and doting admirer has gotten his own life and is moving across the country. Yes, his relationship with David was toxic AF but that's neither here nor there. This is also set in 2000 when staying in touch meant email that you checked maybe once a day and phone calls. Michael, for all the fandom feelings about him, sees Brian in one particular way, a way that has not changed since they were 18. Michael is not the only culprit of this (HELLO LINDSAY WHAT'S UP?) but he is the major one, the one that Brian cares about the most.

Justin, this kid who has wormed his way into Brian's life and who sees, really sees, Brian for who he is and challenges him and is his equal in many ways, wants him.

So Brian, probably against his better judgment goes to this kid's prom, dances him around the dance floor and kisses him in front of everyone. Then they have this moment in the garage (that pause and eye contact before they kiss happily lives rent free in my mind). And it means something. Mr. Brian "acts of service and physical touch" Kinney is communicating something very loudly and clearly here. And pre-disabled Justin sees it and understands it. And if we know anything about Justin, he will not let it go. Ever.

I think without the bashing, Justin would have continued to live at Debbie's. I think he would have gone to PIFA and Brian would have paid for his tuition when Craig Craig'd it all up. I think there would have been less push back about accepting Brian's help because that would be the only help Justin would have needed (instead of: overcoming PTSD, living together, giving him the computer, etc.). I think they would have slowly started to date in a more traditional sense. Nothing dramatic but meeting up for lunch if Justin didn't have afternoon classes, getting dinner together before meeting the guys at Woody's. Michael being in Portland AND the bashing not happening would have allowed this to slowly evolve.

Would Justin still need some assurance that he was different than the tricks? Maybe, but I think he would have felt more confident in himself without the bashing and its after effects.

Would they still have had miscommunication and broken up? I do think so. I think from a psychological and also story-telling perspective, you don't want the 17 year old kid to meet the love of his life and never experience anything different. You want some leaving each other and coming back together (am I still soothing my GOS2 broken heart? Yes, yes I am). I think Justin experiencing monogamy and deciding it's not for him (the way S3 SHOULD HAVE GONE) would have been a great storyline. I think even Michael returning (after some relationship between Brian and Justin has been established) and putting some doubt in the form of "but this isn't who you are" into Brian's mind would also be a great storyline. Some Justin pushing back against Michael and telling Brian "he wasn't there, I was, I know who you are and what you did and what it meant." Oh my god I would love to see that.

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to read this if someone wants to write it. Or many someones. More cake and all that. I don't see myself writing it because I love the bashing arc too much

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #prom #bashing arc #otp: ridiculously romantic

[privatejoker]

i am not very nice to myself i do not have the capacity to know when others are not being nice to me because i have had my sense of reality eroded i don't particularly know what's true and certain people can tell it keeps happening! certain people can tell i don't know what to expect of others. people want a little dog eyeless bellyliving worm for a friend they come to me for it if they want a stupidly receptive mother figure a priest etc they come to me. and occasionally even kindness feels like an attempt at plying me. except in the instances i think of it where i felt that maybe it was. there are parts of my life that i do enjoy that happen easily that seem boring and minor in comparison to mistreatment. i am too good at navigating difficulty and it feels like a relief to be in a situation where i have to be that person again since im so used to being her/him. until it gets unbearable. i am more familiar with harm. i lack proportion. things that should feel glaring do not because i have accepted them as normal? as familiar. words turn everything flat. and now i doubt myself. and people use my self doubt against me. including my own brain. and double it. spinning in circles.

[bastetwastaken]

"Original story thing" got me curious :3c

Oooohhhhh you have opened up a whole can of worms here my friend, and you may regret it xD

So, I'm currently writing a Puzzleshipping fanfic but it was originally intended to be an original story and it will be once again! It's called A Tale of Two Kingdoms and it's about the sons of two kings of rival kingdoms who are not on very good terms with each other who were never meant to meet, meeting and falling in love.

Cliche? You bet.

So I created a whole world called Miotas, which is inspired by a mixture of various mythologies, but lends a lot from Irish folklore. There are four regions within Miotas, but the two which are the centre of the story are Tuath Dé, the home of a god-like race called the Deorum and Luceras, the home of the Light Elves.

Something happened between these kingdoms centuries ago, and whilst not many people actually know what happened, the two kings and their most trusted advisors keep this secret. The kings haven't even told their sons what happened all those years ago.

The prince of Luceras is curious for an Elf, and he desires to know more about Miotas and specifically, Tuath Dé. He wants to know more about this god-like race everyone seems to respect (or is the right word fear?). So when he hears about a festival and masquerade ball happening in Tuath Dé, he just has to go. He enjoys his time in this new city, he takes everything in with joy and when the ball comes around, he's beyond excited to finally attend. He's never been to one of these things before and it's wonderful.

Whilst he's there, he gains the attention of another attendee of the ball. He has no idea who this man is, but he likes the way he's dressed, the way he speaks and when he asks him to dance, he just has to accept.

Well anyway, it comes to pass that this mysterious man who has captured more than just his attention is the Deorum prince. The one person he's always been warned against meeting and taught to hate...yet he can't quite believe that this is the same man he's been told would hurt him if given the chance, a cruel ruler with unimaginable power. The Deorum prince wants to meet him again, and since this man has no idea who he actually is, the Elven prince accepts. He wants to get to know this man better after all.

What follows is a tale of them meeting in secret, finding out more about each other, and eventually falling for one another. Neither of them know what this feud is about but they don't understand why their kingdoms can't just get along. They decide to find out what happened and if possible, fix it so they can reveal their secret relationship and be together properly.

-I'm going to stop myself here because you really did not ask for all of this and I could honestly go on for hours. But yeah, basically I'm working on a cliche romance story which I hope to one day put out as original fiction.

Thank you friend <3 <3

(If anyone ever wants to know more about this I am beyond happy to talk about it)

#bastet is talking shit again #but I love this story so much already