#it was so fuckin hot tho jesus

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || 141 x Reader

[ Chapter 10 ] || [ Chapter 12 ]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.1K~ Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: i'm in love with gaz

Chapter 11: Excuse me?

A DM suddenly shoots up to the top of the pile in Kyle’s Tinder DM list and his eyebrows raise when he sees your name.

It’s been a month and a half, maybe longer, since you two last matched and after the brief rejection and you having gotten with Price, his life moved on and he kind of forgot you existed.

But your sudden message whose preview starts with “hey sorry to be botheri-” intrigues him so he presses it.

you: hey sorry to be bothering u but i figured it was safe to dm u about this because between u and johnny u seemed to be the most mature one! is simon okay? he stopped replying to me like a week ago and im concerned

Kyle’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead upon reading the question.

Kyle: he’s been texting u? 🤨 you: HI! yeah he has Kyle: excuse me? 🤨🤨 Kyle: like texting texting u.  Kyle: as in you text him and he answers and u 2 chat? 😐 you: yes? 🙃 Kyle: tf kind of witchcraft did u pull on him? 🤨 Kyle: he doesnt text.  Kyle: not one of us can get more than a thumbs up reaction to our texts in the groupchat. 😑 you: he texts me! Kyle: 😫?? Kyle: jesus christ.  you: you didnt answer is he okay?? 😭😭

Kyle thought back on a reason why Ghost would suddenly, well, ghost you. But he can’t think of any… Ghost is a notoriously bad texter, it doesn’t surprise him that he went MIA…

And then it hits him.

It’s 8 A.M. in the rec room of their floor and Ghost was making tea just as Johnny was taking a seat in the couch.

Kyle oofed as Johnny hit him, throwing his legs over Kyle’s lap. “Watch it mate, fuck you’re bloody heavy!” He complained.

“AH, FUCKIN’ HELL!” Ghost cursed as he threw his hands up in the air the sound of water dripping on the floor catching his attention.

Kyle looked over to see Ghost had spilled his boiling hot water everywhere on the counter.

“You alright L.T.?” Soap asked a she lifted his head over the back of the couch to peer at Simon just like Gaz was.

“Great.” Ghost grunted as he picked up his phone from the counter, which was also dripping in water, while his other hand threw a rag onto the mess of water dripping down from the counter.

“Oh fuck… ‘s your phone dead?” Soap asked and Ghost grumbled under his breath, not quite answering the question, as he busied himself soaking up the spilled water.

Just then, Price showed up at the rec room door. “Simon, gear up. Got a briefing for a solo mission in 10.”

“Fuckin’ hell, yeah, yeah, I got it.” Ghost grunted as he cleaned the mess and then rushed out the door, leaving his mug of tea in the counter and clutching his now broken phone in his hands.

Kyle: hes fine. Kyle: he spilled water on his phone and killed it I think.  Kyle: and he got sent out before he could get it fixed. 🙃 you: oh okay good! you: thanks! you: sorry to have bothered you! 🙏 Kyle: now wait just a minute. 😤 Kyle: u need to explain how in the hell u and ghost talk.👀 you: ghost? Kyle: that’s his work name. 🤷‍♂️ you: fitting seeing as i thought he ghosted me Kyle: THAT’S THE JOKE I MADE JUST NOW TO MYSELF! 😭 you: were in sync it seems 😭 Kyle: answer the question tho. you: idk what u want me to answer with Kyle: wdym u dont know??? explain yourself. Kyle: how do you get ghost to text u???? you: idk? im funny ig Kyle: 😑 you: im sorry if thats not what u want to hear Kyle: wait Kyle: a couple weeks ago he was out all night Kyle: during morning training soap was talking about how he had a date Kyle: was he with u? 👀👀 you: soap? Kyle: johnny. Kyle: keep up cmon now. you: jeez don’t patronize me you: yes simon was with me Kyle: 👀👀👀 Kyle: i see. Kyle: tell me more. you: theres nothing to tell Kyle: thats a lie and u know it.  you: its not!!! Kyle: cmon. Kyle: u cant just meet with a bloke with a skull mask on and then say u dont have anything to tell. 😑😑 you: a skull mask?? Kyle: did he not wear a mask when he was with u? 🤨🤨 you: yes? you: a black one Kyle: with a skull print on it yeah? you: no??? 🙃 you: just black! Kyle: jesus christ. Kyle: and what? what happened? you: nothing?! Kyle: walk me thru it. you: we went out for a drink then came back to mine and watched a movie! Kyle: 🤨🤨 Kyle: and had a shag? you: NO???? Kyle: wdym no? thats what would normally happen with a bloke. you: and???? you: this is simon were talking about kyle you: nothing about him screams normal exactly 🙃 you: hes joked about being able to kill me with his bar ehands you: bare hands* Kyle: fair. Kyle: this raises more questions for me. you: what Kyle: like u would meet with a masked bloke that can kill u with his bare hands alone without protection? 🤨 you: i had protection Kyle: not a condom. you: oh 😅 you: well we met at a pub soooo  Kyle: what did u 2 do then Kyle: other than watch a ‘movie’ 🙄 you: played mario kart you: slept Kyle: as in Kyle: you SLEPT? like honk shoo honk mimimimi? you: yes🙄🙄 Kyle: im confused. you: ur confused? im fucking confused bro Kyle: wdym u SLEPT TOGETHER? 🙃 Kyle: WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?  Kyle: wtf have u done to him Kyle: like ghost doesnt text, he sure as shit doesnt visit people, and he doesnt go on dates, he doesnt sleep next to people, im almost sure the man doesnt have feelings or emotions and only speaks in sarcasm  Kyle: how can u get that out of him?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: no one else can! you: well with that mentality you cant you: idk what to tell u you: we hit it off 🙄 Kyle: explain yourself. you: ive been explaining it!!!!! Kyle: no explain it better. Kyle: I think Im having a stroke.  you: idk how to make it clearer??? Kyle: thats it. Kyle: are you free rn?? Kyle: I need u to explain urself. 😑 you: Im at work? Kyle: whens ur lunch break? 👀 you: in 35 minutes. Kyle: do u like ramen? you: yes? Kyle: whats the closest japanese to ur job? you: Akira Kyle: meet me at Akira for lunch. Kyle: I’m buying. you: who said i want to meet up with u?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: man just get down there. Kyle: im offering to pay. you: fineeeee 🙄

Kyle quickly hopped up from his seat at his desk with a start and rushed back to his room to change out of his fatigues.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!): @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes , @irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @infpt-zylith , @xxshadowbabexx , @frescoisnotinthemilitary , @leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @zombie-freak , @wittleespur

@severenswife , @enarien, @agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket

#ikea writes 💚 #it's a match! fic #cod modern warfare #cod fanfic #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #text story #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader

[jade-jini]

“I’m the Drama”

Kim Minjeong x Reader

Prompt: Jeongie showering after having nasty sex with her ex who she swore she would never ever be back to but she can’t help it ‘cause the pussy too good. “Even when you broke me, you’re too much of a good fuck to let it go.”

Genre: Smut, Angst

TW: toxic exes, mentions of cheating(but who knows). emotional issues. Mostly hate sex.

If Minjeong had to use one word to describe pleasure, it would be easy: you.

“Fuck.. y/n~” Minjeong moaned, grabbing your hair tightly and keeping you closer to her cunt (not like you would try to get away anyways) “I’m gonna fucking come.. Hmm fuck don’t stop…~” she begged in that cute high pitched tone she had when she was on the verge of her orgasm. You knew it very well, you’ve heard it a million times. You gave the girl what she wanted, and moved your tongue so fast until she was making a delicious mess in your mouth “oh my fuckin godddd…” she loudly cried while reaching her climax for who knows what time in that night already.

Once she calmed down, she looked at you, and you looked at her too, quietly making such intense eye contact, neither of you willing to let go. To let go of several things…

“Is this the part where you send me home ‘cause you promised to never let me sleep in your bed again?” You asked her, making her clicked her tongue and roll her eyes, grabbing you by the shoulders and pushing you to the bed now. She had you on your back while getting ready between your legs yet again.

“Shut the fuck up and moan for me, y/n.” she ordered and you were ready to obey, not without teasing her first tho.

“You know, that’s confusing. Do you want me to moan or do you want me to shut up baby?” And making you gasp, she grabbed you by the neck as soon as the pet name left your mouth, ‘cause hearing you calling her anything like that after your breakup felt like a dagger of memories to her heart.

“You know what? yes. I prefer if you just shut the fuck up.” She said, grabbing her own panties and shoving them into your mouth. You wanted to complain but fuck it, you were in no position (plus you loved having her panties in your mouth don’t Fuckin act funny). You felt the girl’s fingers massaging your clit, while her face showed a frown as she focused her eyes on your pussy. Seeing her so concentrated was something you always found so hot.

However, you knew she was doing her best not to look into your eyes, and that saddened you. Unlike before when she’d love looking at them and express her love through her endearing stare and soft smiles, now she wanted to avoid being too aware that it was you, her ex, the one that hurt her, who she was fucking. Minjeong knew nobody would turn her on like you, but if she thought too much about anything, it would just freak her out. Too much pain she tried not to process.

If Minjeong had to use one word to describe pain, it would also be easy: you.

“You cheated!” she accused once again, dressed in an oversized shirt.

“oh my goshhh…” you left out in a stressed sigh while finishing putting your shirt back on “not this again. I did NOT cheat, we were not together anymore. Just get. Over it.” you remarked every word, you were tired of this. You’re not even sure what exactly triggered this argument again this time, but it never took too much for Minjeong to get so worked up when you were there. The plan was to simply go home after hooking up, trying not to argue but of course, you guys failed again. Like always.

“You didn’t even wait a fucking week! I fucking caught you while picking up my stuff you horny piece of lying shit.” she said while pushing your shoulders.

“But it was not cheating! Jesus, minjeong, YOU broke up with me. You broke up with me because you said I turned distant and instead of talking to me, YOU alone decided to end our relationship. Why are you acting like I’m the villain?!”

“Because you are! And what? Am I supposed to believe you didn’t know her from before? That you weren’t fucking before we broke up?!” you really hated her tone and the assumptions she kept making over and over again.

“Think whatever you want, Minjeong.”

“yeah of course I’m gonna think whatever I want, because you know it’s true. Fucking cheater.”

“Don’t Fucking talk to me in that tone, Minjeong.” you warned her, clenching your jaw.

“Or what,y/n? What the fuck are you gonna do?” she challenged you, her face too close to yours. You were looking at each other like you wanted to kill each other, and maybe you wanted, or maybe…

“Oh fuck… oh my Fuckin god!” Minjeong screamed under you, her nails deep on your back and the strap deep inside her as she clenched around it so tight, coming with you while the other end of the toy made you reach your own climax, biting on the girl’s shoulder. “Fuck! That hurt you fucking idiot, let go!” She complained while pushing you to the side, now both of you lying side to side on the bed, looking at the ceiling trying your best to ignore the post nut clarity. there goes another burning, steamy round of sex. Bodies so sweaty and hot you could feel the hair stuck to your forehead and nape. “I’m gonna take a shower, you better not be here once I’m out.” She said, in a bitter tone that was still somehow calmed. You heard her, but didn’t show any reaction as your eyes were still stuck to the ceiling. You sighed, hearing her enter the shower, knowing you had to get up soon to get your clothes before she decided to do it herself and pushed you out of her door half naked.

——

On a different occasion, after you two finished, you didn’t wait for her to tell you to go. You started getting dressed up a little faster than usual. Normally, you waited for her to just kick you out, ‘cause deep down you always had a little hope she’d let you stay with her, to sleep in each other’s arms like before, like when you were each other’s home and safe place. The day after tho, you were busy because of work and you needed to advance some of it so you did have to go home that night. However, Minjeong didn’t buy it.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” she asked very curious and clearly upset about your behavior, which surprised you because she was always the one in a hurry to get you out of her apartment. You scoffed.

“What? Now you want me to stay?” you asked in a sarcastic tone, which made her role her eyes “I have work tomorrow morning and stuff to finish tonight, I don’t have time to wait around until you’re kicking me out and throwing my clothes at me in the middle of the hallway.”

“Bullshit.” she said, clearly getting worked up once again because of whatever she was imagining. “what is it? That bitch texted you to get home soon?”

“What are you talking about?” You asked really tired, you really didn’t wanna deal with this tonight.

“You know who I’m talking about, y/n. Your new bitch, the one you cheated on me with.” she answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Are you fucking serious? How many times do I have to tell you that it was a ONE time thing? Why cant you get that through your fucking head?!”

“Don’t you fucking lie to me!” she yelled, tears threatening to fall already.

“I am NOT lying, fuck!” you yelled back, agitated about this whole situation, this whole routine and cycle.

“God why do we always end up fighting?!” she screamed louder in exasperation. She just doesn’t understand how someone who used to make her feel so much love now upset her so easily.

“I don’t know! You tell me!” you told her, moving your hands as you speak to emphasize your desperation for answers “You’re always the first one to raise your fucking voice. What, am I supposed to just accept it and let you talk to me like that like—”

“Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!” she yelled with a trembling voice and tears already falling down her face, grabbing your shirt and hardly pushing you against the wall, making you go quiet and a little scared. Both of you breathing heavy, her so close to you that you could feel her breathe on your lips. She rested her forehead against yours without making eye contact, just trying her best to calm herself. “I Fuckin hate you, y/n.”

“No you don’t…” you whispered, this time waiting for her to make the next move. And so she did, kissing you deeply. And there you went for yet another round. This time, it made you so exhausted that you fell asleep for a little while, and Minjeong decided to take the chance to shower.

She hated herself. For enjoying the taste of your lips, the touch of your hands, the feeling of your skin. The taste of your body and how you knew hers so well. She hated you (no) but she hated herself more for not being able to escape you, to resist you. You broke her fucking heart and you didn’t even seem to care, and still here she was, calling you when she needed you, and you would always come like you always did. Or when you suddenly text her or knock on her door, she couldn’t deny you. Her body burned for your touch.

It burned for it and afterwards it would still burn, but for different reasons. Minjeong always needed to shower after having sex with her ex. She needed that private time, to desperately try and erase you from her body like she wasn’t gonna call you again soon. Minjeong would cry under the water, knowing she could never erase the print you’ve left in her heart, her soul. Knowing she would always yearn for you to make her body yours. She was yours, and as much as she hated the pain you caused her, this is something she had yet to accept. That you were each other’s. That she couldn’t just cut that thread. Her body didn’t listen to her, her mind was fragmented and so was her heart. Pieces of them everywhere inside of her, most of them not able to process all of this.

So she’d cry under the shower, out of pain, out of anger, out of love. Out of so many things. Kim Minjeong was just emotionally exhausted, and you? You were emotionally numb. And you were trying to be ok with it for now, ‘cause you knew the moment everything hit you again, it was gonna be chaos inside of you. You were not gonna be able to process your girl not being your girl anymore. The love of your life turned into some type of enemy that didn’t want you but couldn’t let you go either. So you trick your brain, deep down hoping things will get better and you’ll find some answers. For now? You’d make Minjeong yours again and again the only way she allowed you to.

Even if it was killing you both.

#kpop gg #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #aespa x reader #aespa smut #aespa imagines #aespa scenarios #aespa minjeong #aespa winter #kim minjeong #minjeong x reader #minjeong smut #minjeong angst #Aespa winter x reader

[thenewausten]

Nerd!Quackity x Y/N - Short (and cute) Story <3

Alex was such a nerdy, glasses, beanies, an e=mc² shirt and a black watch would make him such an Albert Einstein fan but, he was, still, the best friend of your brother, Charlie, who was also a nerd, but a popular one. You were just the little sister of Charlie "the boy with beautiful green eyes and weird best friend (Alex)". At least, no one called you weird, tho.

You were just one year younger than Charlie, but he'd always think you're his little sister, protecting you from every boy he'd see around you. "You should stop being such a dick, Charlie. Why can't I have a life?!"

"Well, you can have a life! I just don't want boys around you, Y/N! All they suck and I don't want you to get hurt." He says and you roll your eyes. All you wanted was to kiss some boys and enjoy your teenage years. "Alex is coming." He says and you nod, Alex was so hot. The boy was just your fuckin' type. Nerdy. Glasses, beanies and the shirts that made him look even better. You couldn't believe he was real sometimes, but Charlie would never approve the both of you. He. Would. Never.

You listen to Alex's voice when he arrives and go downstairs to see the boy sitting on the sofa. He smiles to you and you approach him. "Hey, Alex. I loved your shirt." You say, it was a Jurassic Park shirt. "Oh... Thanks, Y/N, Jurassic Park is one of my favourite movies." He says and you smile, he's so cute. "Yeah, it's a very nice movie, right?! A classic."

"Yeah, I really..."

"Fuck, dude, I forgot the avocado for the guacamole..." My brother appears on the living room, looking at Alex and then looking at me. "What are you doing here, Y/N?"

"I live here, dude." I answer him and roll my eyes. "Whatever, I'll buy the avocado, okay? Alex, ignore my silly sister." He leaves the room and you roll your eyes again.

"I hate when he does that, you know?! Pretend I'm a little girl." You say and Alex nods. "Yeah, I understand. I'm sorry for that, maybe one day he'll change his behaviour. I mean, you're clearly not a little girl anymore, but..." He says, looking at your whole body. "You're right, I'm not." You approach him for behind the coach, your hands on his shoulders to make him a little massage. "W-What are you doing, Y/N?!" He asks. "Jesus... Are you always this tense, Alex?!" You ask him, his muscles start to relax in your fingers, a sigh of relief scapes from his mouth. "Does it feels good?!" You ask him with a smile on your face. "So good, Y/N." He whispers and you smile, Alex groans as you suddenly stop, but you turn around the sofa and sit on his lap. "Hey, what the..." He starts, his hands on your waist as you kiss his neck. "Y/N, s-stop."

"What?! You don't want me?!" You ask. "I want, but we're in the living room and your brother..." You shut his mouth by kissing him on the lips, almost whimpering with the feeling of his soft tongue against yours. Alex holds your face with one hand as he kisses you, the other one pulls you even closer than before. "We can't." He whispers as soon as he breaks the kiss. "Why not?!" You ask, upset. "I always wanted to kiss you, Alex. Maybe do even more..." You whisper and he blushes. "Your brother." He says, his thumb moves on your face and you sigh. "I can't let Charlie control my life." You say and kiss his lips. "And you shouldn't let him control yours."

"I don't." He says and kisses your lips again, your hands on his hair and neck, making him shiver with the touch. "To a nerd, you're such a great kisser." You whisper when you both break the kiss again, and Alex laughs. "Are you insulting me or...?"

"I'm not, 'Lex." You give him a peck on the lips and he smiles, hugging your waist. "You're so handsome." You whisper to the boy, kissing his face. "You're very beautiful, princess."

You both hear the front door and you immediately get up from Alex's lap, sitting on the other sofa. Charlie appears with two avocados on his hands. "Hey, what... Are you okay?!" He asks to Alex, he was red and nervous. "Uh, yeah... I'm, you?!"

"I'm good, dude. Was my sister making fun of you?! Y/N, what did I..."

"She wasn't, it's okay, Charlie. It's just... Hot. It's hot, you know?! Here." Alex says and Charlie frowns his eyebrows. "Y/N, can you turn on the air conditioning to Alex?!" Charlie asks and you nod, leaving to the kitchen. You get up and smile to Alex, turning on the air conditioning to him and giving him a peck on the lips. "Stop!" He whispers with a smile on his face, you hold his cheeks with your fingers and Alex keeps the smile on his lips.

"Can we keep it in secret for a while?!" Alex whispers and you nod. "Sure." You smile to him.

"Alex! Help me to make the guacamole! Stop talking with my sister, dude!" Charlie says from the kitchen and Alex gets up.

"See you, 'Lex." You give him a peck on the lips and leave the room to go upstairs.

You and Alex would keep in secret the beginning of your romance, expecting for Charlie to don't find out.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy the writing! :)

Requests are open!

#quackity #qsmp #qsmp brazil #quackity imagines #qsmp brasil #quackity x reader #alex quackity #quackity imagine #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #quackity fanfic #quackity fluff #quackity headcannons

[running-tweezers]

Finally got to listen to the BA 😳

Milo Greer Redacted Audios owns my entire ass forever and there’s nothing to be done about that I fear

I love the flashback look at their earlier relationship, I feel like I’ve read dozens of fics about it, and now to have an actual canon glimpse?? Especially one like this??? BEAUTIFUL. GORGEOUS. PERFECTION.

“What are you talking about?? Don’t you dare apologize, that was so fuckin hot.” I am deceased. Do not resuscitate. This is how I always wanted to go.

I will say tho. About… 45 seconds after that. Idk if it was my headphones. Idk if it was the Patreon app. But something OCCURED. And all I heard was a terrible loud electronic buzzing screech that wouldn’t stop even if I paused the audio. I had to disconnect my headphones and close out the app to make it stop. I was able to jump right back in but Jesus Christ way to ruin a moment lol

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted bonus audio #that certainly was An Experience in all ways lol

[pisshandkerchief]

DACIADOESTOUR HAS A TICKET FOR TOMROROW CRISIS AVERTED

apparently tho people are trying to stream tonight but it's so fuckin hot their phones are shutting down

jesus christ, yeah I heard somebody tried to stream on TikTok but their phone straight up overheated and died

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Oh my god ok so if y’all know me and neen you know that not only are we Internet Married and also constantly in Wife Jail, BUT!!!

We also both have cat ocs in one of our respective aus.

So I had an intrusive Thot about Curb from (rem)ember meeting Moose from the OrangeJuiceVerse, which led to me thinking… what would happen if rm style met ojv style? Chaos, that’s what

Jesus so idk how ojverse style got dropped into rm canon, but like they just APPEAR in the ravesey house and it’s so unserious bc Raven and his emo boy flair is all in his bleached hair pentagram belly button ring metal shirt tattooed up vibe and OJV Stan is just staring at him all clean cut all american boy in the Hike Bc People Suck shirt with his handful of tats hidden just like?? Why does this guy kinda look like me??? And the Kyles are both holding the cats but THATS where the similarities end!!!

And Jersey, my smart/smartass KING immediately puts two and two together and goes “good GAHD WHY is this alternate timeline me SHORT?” and ojv Kyle is like “dude you talk like my mom”

Like names are exchanged and they gotta work together to get ojv style back to their universe and stuff, but that introduction is SO funny. The Stan’s are over here gushing over each other like “oh my god you’re a ROCKSTAR?!? That so cool!” And “you work with animals that’s ~wowza~ oh! Are you best friends with Kenny in your world?” “Besides Ky yeah” lmfao they’re just bonding over being them and as the convo gets deeper ravens like “dude sry if this is too personal is your kyle all hot and demanding in bed?” And OJV Stan is all woah there’s a dom kyle out there? “I mean, sometimes? I think he has a praise kink if that’s what you’re talking about, don’t tell him I said that tho” smh it’s so fuckin hilarious if you’re familiar w ojv and rm nsfw hcs because nothing is common there besides our boys being down horrendous. And the STANS omg vegetarian legends and then Raven finds out ojv Stan is a few years sober and he’s so stoked it’s so cute

Meanwhile the Kyles are super serious trying to figure out what happened and poor Jersey is so put off by Kyle’s energy he’s just too friendly to an essential stranger and Jersey does NAUGHT trust that, his eyes are narrowed behind the sun and moon chain glasses the whole time and ojv kyle is just focused on the similarities like at least we’re dressed similarly and both with stan in our universes :) optimistic slay and then he’s like “so what’s your cats name?” “It’s Curb, you gotta problem?” “Dude, no, ours is Moose.”

And Curb and Moose are just on the ground staring at each other occasionally meowing back and forth and Curb (orange bastard man I’d die for him) is like WHAT is this thing while Moose is all I can Fix Him

Live laugh love rp/neen crossovers

#I went stupid w this #south park #am I actually insane prolly #I hope y’all know I bother the wife REGULARLY abt everything and I am very attached to curb #also moose #Mooseposting #seriously y’all read rm if u see this it eats #rm slay #RavenStan pls just one hug #Jersey my gorgeous king #OrangeJuiceVerse #dumbass #headcanons

[jinkicake]

Sigh,,,,, scaramouche is really bringing my “ in love w mean unhinged men” behavior out😭 like Jesus Christ he’s so,,, not to mention all the hot scaramouche cosplayers giving me butterflies 😒 like him being all “ like a whore, you're taking this dick so fuckin' good. like getting treated like my toy?” Is 🥴 I can feel the feminism and self respect leaving my body when I see art of him w a smirk. Like good lord something about short men w huge dicks is crazy!! Bc if he looks at me and tells me to shut the fuck up imma do it, depending on the day bc I still like to fight at heart. But he’s literally the peak of the most disrespectful sex ever and I’m so down for it😭 and it sucks that I just started arcane and all the trash ass men in that show have me trapped too😔😔 scaramouche is so annoying bc on some hand he could do all the work bc he wants to let off steam but on the other he likes to torture people; like if you don’t come to him he will let you sit in your embarrassment. Like rip if you want to confess your feelings bc he will act dumb as hell until you say it. “so desperate for it, aren’t you? if you want it, you better start taking it” like not having to ask for the dick properly 😒 but also a “ don’t ask anyone else I’ll do it” mf. Like if you’re only fwb with him bc he doesn’t want to commit first literally just stand next to any other person like he will buy a ring THAT DAY💀 texts you at 4:45 am for a booty call but he really just wants to be held but he can’t say that so he gotta fuck you instead to obtain cuddles😭 “i bet you think you’re real cute letting them put their hands all over you, wait until they see who you really belong too” like he’s SUCH A BRAT and if he’s not checked it will only get worse!! Like he literally has not a single card in all of teyvat I think it’s crazy bc he would send you to the Tsaritsa covered in bites And bruises with his cum running down your leg he doesn’t care!! LikeSGDHDJD at some point they gotta start feeling bad for you bc even dottore is like “ you can hide under my desk he won’t find you there”😭😭 childe gotta sneak you out of Snezhnaya but rip bc he will always find you in the end😔😔 might run away just so he can chase me tho🥰🥰

no literally you get it... he's unhinged, he's terrible!! everything i like in a m4n! i dont get why im not more obsessed with him.... i suppose i can only have kaeya in my heart </3

NO LISTEN, I GET IT. I REALLY DO GET IT. the cosplayers and fanarts are hot and all the fanon shit written about him is so hot but then i look at a picture of him and i see the literal puppet and it makes me laugh. i can't look at pictures of him or else i will LAUGH T T but i know how you like your men short sooooooooooo hehehe you're doing great charity work!!!! kekekek

honestly, i think you could take him and win. i know it! but, i know youd also purposely lose to scara smhhh!!!!

NOT ARCANE?! YOU TOO?! ugh is it worth watching? my friend told me to watch but then my other friend begged me not to watch it LMFOA

omgggg no im sorry i love possessive scara sm like this crazy bitch locks you away from everything and keeps you in the finest clothes and has you there only for his eyes.... could you imagine how insane that fucking puppet would go if he couldn't find you? like if the fatui were hiding you from him!? we saw how he acted w the sleeping loser like he k!lled literal agents sooooooo he would literally go feral. and honestly, i can get behind that. I love angsty and desperate scara who has lost the one thing he could never lose.... oh and the punishment that you would suffer once he finds you.... omgggg where are the yandere writers at? please, im begging you to take this! he would be completely evil like his heart would break from the betrayal and would never mend after- angst is too much fun!

no bc his punishments would be horrendous... -i had to share a few more thoughts- like overstimulation one night and then edging another night and then keeping you locked in your room for weeks with no contact until you're crying and begging in his arms when he finally reveals himself again... he'll make sure that you know he's the only thing left on this planet for you.... you'll have it fucked into your mind as he ties you down to each post of your bed and spends all night showing you how much he needs you

#sarahandoikawatalkshit #xiaos spicy almond tofu #sorta #yandere scara is the best scara #scara angst is good too #scaramouche

[daincrediblegg]

YO!!! I was tagged by @officious-sea-lawyer to do this and so here I deliver:

❄️ Favorite Christmas movies

Well I actually have a NEW favorite christmas movie this year and it’s the 1970 Scrooge starring Albert Finney. True to my nature I really love a pathetic old man and he might be the most sopping wet and weird little scrooge I’ve ever seen but also in the flashbacks… holy shit he’s handsome (reminds me of francis a little. Just saying) … anyway go watch Scrooge all the songs were written by the same lady who did charlie and the chocolate factory. AS FOR OTHER FILMS GOD THERE’S PLENTY but to rattle off a few: Muppet Christmas Carol (THE FULL VERSION), Polar Express, any of the Rankin Bass christmas films, The Holiday, White Christmas, classic Grinch AND LA Grinch, 1939 christmas carol also. And of course, It’s A Wonderful Life.

☃️ Christmas traditions?

On christmas eve we all open a small present and then I make hot chocolate and watch the polar express when everyone’s gone to bed.

🎄 Favorite Christmas aesthetic? (Traditional, black and white, etc.)

Victorian!!!! Jesus christ but I love victorian christmas aesthetics (especially this year. Good GOD. I’m deeply into victorian christmas aesthetics this year)

🎁 Christmas food/drinks you love

HOT CHOCOLATE!!! But also I always buy a tin of danish butter cookies. I love those little bastards with the dried black currants in them especially. So fucking good. Also I won’t say no to a good gingerbread (or more importantly my fave cookie flavor of all time: ginger molases)

❄️ Best Christmas song

Not gonna lie. I fucking love Hark the Herald Angels Sing. It’s very nostalgic for me singing it with not just my youth choir but the WHOLE congregation at the end of Christmas Eve service and ringing bells… yeah man. Yeah. For more modern stuff I do fucking love any of Bing Crosby’s songs (but ESPECIALLY white christmas), and Andy William’s It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

🎄 One thing you got for someone (I won't tell :3)

I actually made hats for my whole family!!! Though actually I didn’t make a hat for my dad bc he doesn’t wear hats bc he’s a strange little man but I made him a little headband earmuff thing instead that I think he’ll really like 🥰

☃️ One thing you really, really want for Christmas

A fucking camera 🥲 I know I won’t get one tho. But I can DREAM can’t I? Other than that like the big thing for me is some new over ear sony headphones that don’t fucking hurt my ears and give me headaches yes. Other than that my 4 day trip to montreal was a great gift indeed I had a fucking blast (will provide details if wanted)

Now who to tag… hmm…

@prismatica-the-strange @your-mighty-words-astound-me @kittensmctavish @roaming-thru-roses @seldonhari @jokerownsmysoul @smileofacaffeinatedsaint and ANYONE ELSE TO WHOM THIS LOOKS LIKE FUN!!! Happy fuckin holidays bitches!

#tag games #there was a baby shark stairwell involved at one point… but also I saw fucking hendel’s messiah at notre fucking dame #and the nutcracker. and the new cirque show #good times and good food had indeed #and of course. crystal penises

[rybonucleic-ket]

my identity pipeline was fuckin WILD

*doctor asks about sexual activity bc they have to* "boys are icky. my friends are boys but I don't like them like that, yucky, idek why people get married, so gross." small romance repulsed she/her child ->

"I hate men men are so horrible I'm def lesbian" kill all men cis she/her lesbian to disguise the fact that I wanna be a boy ->

"nonbinary a little?" she/they lesbian ->

"yeah okay men suck but unfortunately some of them are hot" bisexual, she/they/it ->

"gender is stupid. still i don't actually like men im just unfortunately attracted to them" bi they/them enby ->

"actually yk what I kinda feel the same about people of all genders. like, romantically. guess I'm pan lol. also no gender for me please" it/they agender pansexual ->

"some days I look at a boy and want to cry. all pronouns are cool I wish someone would use he/him sometimes tho yk." he/she/they agender pansexual ->

"shit I think I kinda wanna be a guy-" they/he transmasc pansexual ->

"okay yeah I wanna be a guy. also wtf you're telling me that you guys can tell the difference between romantic and platonic affection???" he/him pansexual ->

"okay ill be fr i think im slightly more attracted to guys JUST A LITTLE" he/him bisexual ->

"fuckin jesus christ you're telling me im supposed to feel a difference between platonic and romantic? literally w h a t ig I'm arospec then." he/him aro questioning bisexual ->

"lowkey convinced y'all made up romance as a prank ngl. also I'm very masc leaning." he/him aroallo bisexual ->

"I'm not attracted to women???? wtf anyway mlm/wlw qpr anyone we could talk so much shit about everyone and paint each other's nails." he/him aroallo full homo boyliker

so. that was. very. yeah.

#ry rambles #queer identity #my queer pipeline ✨ #aromantic #transgender #gay #alphabet mafia #literally the lesbian to gay mlm pipeline is so wild #me when I thought I was pan because romantically everyone's the same bc 0 = 0 #me when I thought I was a lesbian bc I was hiding from The Trans #me when I actually am not even attracted to women 🧍 #it's been. it has happened. it has been happening.

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - THE DIRT 1.25

IMDB BLURB: Based on the bestselling autobiography from Mötley Crüe, the film is an unflinching tale of success and excess as four misfits rise from the streets of Hollywood to the heights of international fame.

WARNINGS: Sex, so much sex. Boobs. Graphic depictions of drug use. Horrible 80s hair. Pete Davidson. We’re fucking dumb.

RATING: You don’t know fuckin’ shit about Motley Crue.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: The absolute shit I do for you. This movie had better slap ass because I really don't like Motley Crue and I don't think they're hot and there had better be some shit to make fun of. Like Motley Crue. I really hope I get to make fun of Motley Crue. I'm gonna start right now by making fun of the way they spelled Motley Crue like a bunch of fucking edgelords.

Biscuits "How many calories are in tequila" Horrorslash: where the hell is my shotglass??!? WHOO YEAH BABEY THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! This movie gave Motley Crue a huge resurgence in popularity. Everyone saw it and was like - my poor little meow meows uwu. Like - if by that you mean four feral cats let loose in your house screeching and pissing everywhere then yeah.

M: So we open with a little intro to the 80's and people are fucking and ...squirting...publicly....and I'm about to make Biscuits write this entire thing himself.

B: What did you really expect? Nikki is narrating and he has a sad backstory so everyone gets to slobber over him.

M: I'm not picking sides. I don't think any of them are cute. Why does Nikki's dad look like Charles Manson? He's very mouthy for like....a 10 year old? Nikki cuts his arm with a knife to blame his shit ass mom for it.

B: It is based on a book so it's them retelling their own rock star backstories, so take this with as many inches of dick as we're gonna assign to them. So Tommy gets like 8 and a half and Nikki gets like 3.

M: I'm not gonna ask how you know how big everyone's dick is.

B: These men have shown many parts of themselves. Tommy was naked like 90 percent of the time. Also that was a joke, I’m not even saying it’s accurate.

M: I still don't wanna know. So Frank Jr is now Nikki Sixx because he grew up and shit.

Frank Jr.? But he’s just a little girl!

M: Now Tommy is narrating? He comes from like...super suburban normal life. His family is like super normal and healthy. Except Tommy.

B: Tommy Lee was really attractive when he was young. He's the youngest! Tommy and Nikki meet in a diner and they're like - we should totally be in a band and fuck girls in the vicinity of each other! Or just touch tips. Nikki is like - my new band is gonna be so cool! I'm gonna get like 4 rabid raccoons together and just turn em loose on a stage! They find a guitarist but he's shitty and they hate him.

M: Who's this dude? (Mick Mars, he's gonna be the guitarist.) He doesn't like Tommy's old band, they suck. Mick Mars is a dick, jesus. He's like - I am the best guitarist EVAR.

B: Mick Mars is a better guitarist than most people. I have some respect for him, unlike the other members of the band. He's got ankylosing spondylitis and he can walk in heels and play guitar better than I probably ever will. So the band has picked up an old man with bone disease.

M: That's pretty fucking hardcore tho, no wonder he's such a dick. Chronic pain does shit to a person. They are looking for some random skinny dude with attitude to sing in the band. The requirements are so low here.

B: Tommy is giving off major Bill and Ted vibes.

M: They find what I assume Vince Neil singing at a pool party and they're like - HE IS SURROUNDED BY BABES we must take him. This guy looks nothing like Vince Neil.

People ask me - “What don’t you like about Motley Crue music?” I say, “The sound.”

B: Tommy speaks at 300 words per second. Vince is doing coke with his girlfriend because it was the 80's and everyone did cocaine except Jon Bon Jovi.

M: He's not even a rock star yet. This is the most haphazard getting a band together I've ever heard of. They're just like HEY WE ARE A BAND NOW AND WE'RE GONNA GET SO LAID!

B: Vince's girlfriend is just gonna stand there.

M: She's already trying to manage the band but they're gonna shut her down with the power of BUTTROCK!

B: Tommy Lee has the energy of a crackhead even when he's not high. He's lighting cockroaches on fire with hairspray. Nikki has a whole notebook full of doodles of pentagrams and shitty band names. That's just me. I have that same notebook.

M: Why is Mick the only sane member of this band?

B: He doesn't have the energy to do like all the fucked up shit, he's too tired. Vince looks like 80's coked up hooker barbie.

The bass player is the loser of the band, yes he is - if you don’t believe me, take a look at the one you’re with!

M: I guess they're playing a gig now? Or not. Vince and co are already kicking people's asses before a note has been sung.

B: They're throwing hands. And everyone is like - FUCK YEAH THIS BAND RULES! THEY JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE! I'd like to state for the record that my stenographer is refusing to type out some of the things I am saying. She's becoming more of a lesbian every second.

M: Number 1 - I am not your stenographer. 2 - you can edit in whatever you want but I am typing RIGHT NOW, 3 - I really am. Wtf is going on in the movie?

B: A montage of them doing gigs. That's Pete Davidson! They haven't been signed yet tho so I guess that's where Pete comes in. There's probably gonna be even more sex scenes in this movie.

M: There's already been like four!

B: THICK ASS. I almost put my hands on the table and howled like a wolf.

M: You'll be glad later that I left so many things out. So now Pete is talking to them and there's some chick under the table giving random blow jobs but he doesn't want one.

B: And now more violence!

M: Mick Mars just straight up Deadpools us by talking directly to the camera and he is now my favorite member of Motley Crue, at least in this movie.

He’s hip, he’s cool, he’s 45

B: Nikki doesn’t like Kiss. I like Kiss. Munch doesn't even like Kiss! What DO you like?? What do you listen to that's so great!?? Kate Bush? Bruno Mars or some shit?

M: You need more alcohol. I just don't fuckin' like BUTTROCK.

B: GLAM METAL. Buttrock is deragatory.

M: It's meant to be. Vince is somehow fucking yet another girl. How does he have time in his day for this. Pete talks to the camera and tells us not to leave our girlfriend alone with Motley Crue because they'll fuck her.

B: Probably good advice. Just a bunch of dudes in leather and studs and makeup. Just dudes being guys.

M: It was a very straight thing to do in the 80's.

B: I don't think that's the original track. That's not Vince singing...ugh. (disclaimer: read to the end for the SHOCKING TRUTH!)

M: How you even noticed that...and now for some good old fashioned SATANIC PANIC! And the band comparing how many women they've fucked. Once again Mick proves to be the only human being in the group. Who I think is supposed to be Ozzy in a dress comes around with money sticking out of his ass. Ozzy snorts...ants.

B: And pisses on the concrete. Both seem entirely like something Ozzy would do. Then licks it up. Oh Tommy sounds like he liked that

M: WHY AM I BEING MADE TO WATCH THIS. Ozzy is licking up Nikki's piss now. An aside from Doc says what we're all thinking.

B: Is this the indecent exposure incident??

M: Which one????

B: The one where Tommy was running through a hotel naked and some people got mad about it. And they arrested Mick instead.

M: Doc says they did stupid shit because they were Motley Crue. And now the mud wrestling sequence. 

B: They're acting like Vince was the most horny dude. Maybe he was but like - these other guys are also horny. Vince is like - Sharice you're my girl, move in with me, I won't fuck as many women. I was about to ask how these dudes had the energy to fuck this much but then oh yeah! Cocaine!

They’re soooo together!

M: Tommy is introducing people to his family and new fiancee? He has a few of them. Tommy's mom is SAVAGE. Tommy is coming across like a 12 year old with too much freedom.

B: That is basically accurate. 3 middle school boys and their dad who drinks a lot. 

M: Tommy and his new fiancee are having some...difficulties. 

B: This is not the last time Tommy will hit a woman. He had a bit of a temper.

M: I feel like you don't really need to watch this. You already are like...a Motley Crue historian. 

B: Oh we're just gonna drive drunk and leave Vince's pregnant wife here, I sure hope nothing bad happens! 

M: Oh yeah I forgot Tommy and Heather Locklear were a thing. 

B: "I love you." Tommy Lee to every woman he meets. It's the drummer from Hanoi Rocks in the car with Vince I think. And now death. This really did happen and yes he was drunk and yes that man died. 

M: But it's fine because they're in Motley Crue. 

B: Whoops! Uh oh. Oopsie Daisy. That man is dead. And it's your fault, Vince.

All the girls want to know - who’s the cutest boy on death row?

M: VINCE GETS 30 DAYS FOR MURDERING A DUDE. Wtf. Nikki is very sad that Vince is in jail but it's okay because he's on heroin now and Biscuits is never ever gonna have a heroin addiction because he can't stand needles. 

B: I can't even inject my own testosterone! And that doesn't even have to go into my veins! Vince has returned from uh...killing a guy.

M: Is he sober now?

B: Supposedly. No nevermind he's immediately snorting cocaine. And vomiting.

M: Oh he's snorting smack, no wonder he's sick. Nikki keeps blaming Vince for fucking up the band when he's busy injecting heroin every other scene. And missing repeated calls from his sad mother. Tommy Lee is in love every five minutes in this movie. Vince now has a kid I guess but she doesn't seem to like him much?

B: Well.....Theatre of Pain, are they gonna show Theatre of Pain Tommy Lee because I might have to take a break.

M: That's between you and jesus. Tommy Lee gives a life on the road montage where he shows everyone getting wasted and performing and then getting wasted again. Drink, snort and fuck everything in sight. It's a wonder they lived this long tbh.

B: All four of them are still alive actually!

M: It's honestly a miracle. This is hard to like...narrate because it's so chaotic. It's just like - watching a band go bonkers and slowly self destruct. (disclaimer: read til the end for the SHOCKING TRUTH about why it was so hard to narrate!)

B: That's the beauty of it all! It's 4th of July, we're recording this, well not recording it, but you know. There’s fireworks outside and fireworks on the screen. Nikki has mommy issues! Oh poor little meow meow. Come sit on my lap poor little meow meow!

M: People are gonna take you seriously.

B: I was joking there. Like 70 percent. 80 percent. Oh my god, not in your neck Nikki, ew.

M: I guess Tommy is getting married. Nikki is wasted as fuck.

B: You've got more opportunities Tommy! You'll have several more happiest days of your life! Nikki can't even put his suit jacket on. This your man? This your boy? Somebody come get him. Nikki Sixx did a LOT of heroin.

M: 1000 dollars a day is a lot of heroin.

B: Is this the part where he died?

M: You're the Motley Crue historian.

B: I'm not sure if this is that time when he overdosed or if he's just normal shooting up heroin. Wtf did you give him, I gave him heroin!

M: I'm guessing that's an overdose.

Hey guys...Kyle’s dead!

B: Nikki went to the great beyond! But he came back!

M: This was apparently before naxolo...naxostuff.

B: I think that's just adrenaline. I was happy, but I kept doing heroin! That's how drugs work, kids. Oh my god, they didn't need to show the vein thing more than once.

M: Well it's a good message to kids watching this. Drugs are gross. They will turn you into a bleeding arm gross man-thing. Now they're sober and shit and they hate each other.

B: They can't stand to be around each other when they're not high. They all had massive prima donna egos.

M: Hardly a shock. But they're all good clean boys now. Trying to have family lives and shit. And hating each other. A lot more. Vince is going to be a huge dick about this. He wants to have FUN. I really enjoy's Mick's little asides. He's just kind of in the background with his fucking vodka like - these dudes are all idiots.

B: Vince's wife left him. And he left the band.

M: If Pearl Jam is here their career is almost over anyway.

B: And then the 90's happened! It was a bad time for Motley Crue. Big manly rocker boy egos clash! I don't like you guys anymore! We're gonna get a new singer! John uh....Corabi. But they don't have a blonde guy anymore so it's never gonna work.

M: You can't have a buttrock band without a blonde guy!

B: Oh yeah Vince's daughter died of cancer, I forgot about that.

M: WHAT. That's super fucked up. Nobody likes new Motley Crue without Vince. He was kinda one of those unique voices. JohnBoy out here like WHOO I'M IN A ROCK BAND! He's about to be so disappointed.

Someone's gonna get a punch in the head. Who d'ya thinks gonna get a punch in the head?

B: There's a whole crowd of people out here booing you!

M: Everything is going to Motley Hell. Vince's kid is dying, Mick isn't looking so hot, Tommy's Heather is leaving him, Nikki is just sulking.

B: Yeah we had a good ride, except for all the drugs and you know...death, and crime...and punishment...Vince's kid, yeah she died. Nikki visits his dad's grave.

M: And meets a half brother he didn't know he had?? What the fuck is this shit

B: Oh he means a FAMILY! He needs a family!

M: His own MOTLEY CREW. NIkki and Tommy make up and touch tips and go out to find Mick who is looking more and more like death warmed over every day. But to be fair, he's got a condition.

B: We're getting the band back together, even though they just broke up. Vince, we love you man. You're our blonde man, man. There may be a million other slutty blonde men out there but you're OUR slutty blonde guy. Sometimes a family is four dudes who do drugs.

M: They're gonna go perform again I guess? Long slow dramatic walk to the stage.

B: Maybe the real treasure...the REAL MOTLEY CRUE is the friends we made along the way! And some tasteful ass shots!

“ One day you’ll look back on this as the best time in your life.” “ I sure hope not!”

M: Priorities. I guess they played together for another 20 years for some fucking reason.

B: Until 2015 but...They're doing a stadium tour like...as we speak.

M: Why. I don't really have anything to add. Biscuits just hurt himself headbanging. Oh my god. I just realized I forgot to turn the speed down and we just watched that entire movie at 1.25 speed. No wonder Tommy Lee was talking so fast.

B: *chokes to death on laughter* I can't believe we did that.

M: That's so fucking funny.

B: It's so on brand. I THOUGHT the songs sounded weird!! Holy fuck, oh my god. I don't even have any closing thoughts now because that's so fucking funny. Closing thoughts: we are two of the dumbest people who've ever lived.

#Motley crue #review #munchflix #the dirt #tommy lee #nikki sixx #vince neil #mick mars #humor #rock and roll #mötley crüe

[dykecassidy]

Do you think girl!dustin and jim when they were drunk in their 20s did the 'if im still single by 40 we should just get married' thing, and like jim is 38 now and single and never forgot that agreement even tho they never spoke about it again..

YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES A MILLION YES

got thats my fav fuckin trope. God.

and like jim just kind of quietly stopped dating people at 35 bc honestly it felt kind of mean when he knew he didn't want anything past 5 years and most people dating at his age don't wanna waste their time for a year or two, so. and he was hoping that dustin would notice and say something-- even a joke, that even hot boy jim can't get a date at his big age-- but she never really does

because she doesn't wanna call attention to the fact that she's torpedoed every relationship she's ever had since she made that promise and Jesus christ you can't just ask "your 40th or mine" without looking and feeling a little desperate so. she hopes they meant jims. speeds things along a little.

#ask #girl!dustin #SCREAMING

[zmediaoutlet]

happy wincest wednesday z! if sam and dean were dropped into ff7, which characters do you think they would get along with or not get along with?

happy wincest wednesday eve -- ty for indulging me both on doing the wincest wednesday thing and also for this hilarious crossover, lol. Talk about tones that do not mesh.

Which obv makes it better, haha. Like Dean would be just straight-up heckling Sephiroth and it would be DESERVED. Who's that portentous. Jesus. I guess in the same way that when they got dropped into Scooby Doo and suddenly could do scrambling cartoon runs and whatnot, tho, if they were dropped in FFVII they should also gain the equivalent of video game protagonist powers (and possibly hair -- Sam's suddenly even more shaggy and shiny, god help us). Dean doing weird gun kata shit bc that's just how it'd be in Midgar for him -- yeah, why not!

Things I believe to be true:

Dean and Barret would initially not get along at ALL and then Dean would be extremely gentlemanly and kind to Marlene (because he has another kind of superpowers) and then Barret would be like. Okay. We are now best friends. They could get drunk and yell at corporate sloganeering together.

Dean obviously hits on Tifa but it's just in like a friendly 'we are both super hot and there are rules here' way. She is sweet and rolls her eyes about it and then they're actually pretty platonic. Plus Dean respects a bartender, especially one who could decapitate you with a kick.

Sam initially thought he could hang with Vincent just for the quiet vibes, and also the 'hey, do you feel like your girlfriend got killed and there's something monstrous inside you' element, but... it turns out you can have too much in common with someone, and like, how do you even talk about that. He ends up getting along more with Cid. Sure, Cid's a dick and brash and drinks too much, but he's actually very sweet on the inside, and Sam's like 'wow, it's like Bobby's 30 years younger and feels strongly about tea.' (Dean and Cid argue about mechanic details and Dean's offended that he's not allowed to fly the Highwind. Sam hears the bitching about each other from both sides.)

They both can't stand Yuffie. Sam tries, but... fuck.

Aerith is obviously nice to them both, and flirts with them both in her sunny easy way, but there's a little wall there -- Aerith, angel-like, has this element to her that they can't touch, and she recognizes them both as touched by destiny too, and it's just... Sam says to Dean, one night, that she reminds him of Anna, and Dean agrees. (Although he doesn't have last night on earth sex with Aerith.) ((Aerith is out in a meadow one day when Sam goes for a walk, and she vaguely implies that she knows Sam and Dean are soulmates and that that must be nice, and Sam doesn't exactly know what to say because she seems so sad about it. But he carries the basket of herbs she picked, and helps her over the little river so she doesn't get her boots wet, and she smiles at him grateful and knowing and then sends him back to his brother.))

Cloud: neither of them know what to do with this fuckin guy. They don't respond well to Cool Loner Types. Plus Dean recognizes crazy when he sees it, and nudges Sam hard the first time Cloud has one of his Little Moments and Sam's like, ow, yes, I see it too. Still, after the whole... psychotic break thing (and after Aerith dies) I feel like they'd each be able to handle part of it -- Dean being apparently-callous 'let's deal with the logistics and problems in front of us' support; Sam being like, hey, if you want to talk about hallucinating your worst enemy I Am Your Guy. They would both also have a lot of sympathy for the, you know, mother dying in a fire set by the devil part.

Red XIII: Dean: "Holy shit, dude. They got their own Scooby Doo." Sam: "I'm pretty sure that's... really offensive. He's like... a member of an indigenous tribe or something, Dean." Dean: "Sam, he is a talking dog." Sam: "...Yeah, he is. But if you offer him a Scooby Snack I will not mop you up when he kills you."

#happy wincest wednesday #answers #oh shit i missed cait sith #well #neither of them know what the fuck to do with cait sith either #dean uses the mog doll as a pillow #sam's just continually confused about where tf the scottish accent came from #when they find out it's reeve piloting the doll from afar #their confusion is not abated

[ireallymisscoffee]

hi hello, we are back. seen the ep. died. came back, died again. still in the process of mental breakdown due to illegal hotness but hey we got this.

sooooooooooo imma just go and yell in one post instead of yelling in many posts for the next 5h which i am probably still gonna do.

-> spoilers comin' up

holy fuckin' cow jesus fuck. ok so like i'm sad joel didn't actually get in the restaurant to find ellie and pull her off david but holy moly i loved like almost all of this ep. BABYGIRL !?!!?? i wasn't ready

you could ALMOST hear joel in james tho troy didn't go as gravelly low, which ofc but still.

david was JUST THE RIGHT amount of yuck, i loved it.

ok but like, i probably shouldn't admit this but i know the torture scene dialogue by heart and it played in my head while i saw it and i had a mental breakdown bc omfg pedro you beast thank you for existing jfc. i would've been fine watching like 5h more of that ngl. THAT LITTLE SMIRK HE DOES WHEN HE SHOWS THE KNIFE WTF MAN. by taking ellie they unleashed the fricken beast. holy fuck.

ALSO sad joel didn't murder more people in the "resort" but i know time was an issue so... yeahhhhhhh i forgive them.

also also, we all saw the joel tummy right? yeeeeeeeesssss gimme the tummmmmm.

#out of ration cards ( ooc ) #man it was so tough staying #away from laptop knowing what would await me in the tags #bc i mean like ik what's there #and now i shall dive in #tlou spoilers

[monophobix]

more game of thrones thoughts cos i’m now on s4ep7:

- JAQEN IS A LEGEND GOD BLESS HIM

- gendry is wow

- tyrion is the goat and shall remain so

- ygritte and jon are fuckin hilarious

- also jon looked beautiful in the mountain scenes

- i feel bad for theon but he can go fuck himself

- if hodor dies i die too

- i don’t like him but tywin was good to arya, i respect it

- maester luwin’s death made me cry ;-;

- the way tywin treats tyrion breaks my heart

- hot pie is such a sweet kid bless

- brienne is so cool dude

- i love robb but i know somethings going to go wrong

- idk how to feel about jaime but the fact he stoped brienne’s rape is somet i’ll be forever thankful for

- margery is playing the game WELL, it suits her

- shireen is the sweetest child i’ve ever laid eyes upon

- jamie and brienne = power duo

- ROBB TALISA NOOOOOO OH MY FUCK

- THAT WAS SO BRUTAL??? JESUS MY POOR BOY U LITERALLY SAW THE LIFE DRAIN FROM HIS EYES

- HA peak for catelyn tho

- although i feel bad for her watching her son die

- if these fuckers done take jon seriously i’ll kill em myself

- HOT PIE IS SUCH A SWEETIE

- GET FUCKED JOFFERY YE UGLY CUNT

- i just wanna know what podrick did with em gals

- MAN FUCK SHAE THAT TRAITOROUS CUNT

- jamie & tyrion <3

- OBERYN IS SO MAJESTIC

- bisexual, gay AND asexual rep for the win

- TYRION THE GOATTTTTT

#game of thrones #jon snow #brienne of tarth #jamie lannister #oberyn martell #tyrion lannister

[crowsent]

on one hand. his jdub voice is 👌

literally could sit here for hours and do nothin but listen to his voice lines

BUT

the woman who snatched my heart got fuckin BUTCHERED baby im so sorry you no longer have that verbal flair they didnt even use warawa for you i am so so sorry honey you dont deserve this whats the point of bein hot warrior woman who doth speaketh in this manner in thine english dub when thou speakest like a common peasant in the jdub sweetheart you deserve so much better jesus fuck

but his jdub voice tho

#salt speaks #excuse me im having a dilemma over here #does my love for his voice outweigh the fact that one of the best parts of her character got taken away #words cannot express how much i fuckin love her ye olde butchered english in the edub #but his jdub voice tho #his jdub voice tho

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

**4 RECT@L us3 0NLy** <spam Moosiboobie>

wE 4GoT ouR Politival Values just to dance @ a les tUrkish Klub in silverLake cuz FUG it!!!! it’s not lyke we made the LA times front pg Once At an armenian protest against turkey!!!!!!!!!!!!! <it wuz her sis> n walked all the way from bev hills to santa Monica in Chunky demonia platformZzz just to make sure we Stood up 4 our beliefs n Freedomzz. <it wuz jusT once.> i luv my best fwend lily !!!!!!!! she is the literal best n No one else is as Hawttt as her n she wants 2 taste my blood n die next to me while we both hav guns in each other’s mouthz n tht is the kind of Luv i need n want n whut fuels meh to be alive 2Day <3 :-3 we had a kute sleepover the day i came over n i tried 2 feed her oppossoum Mochi dried berriezz but she wuz scared of Meh. after dancing til Akbar closed n some cute Kunty gayzz wanted to take pix with Us cuz they thought we were Kute!!!!

i has bden outtah Townxx 4 Lik a week n i hav luved tha sun in Cali butt i yam now on tha plane back to NY n god im so fuckin happi to go back . this plane smells like brioche bunz n Air fried Potaotezz. hehe. Idk why.? but Ya being back home made me go into a crisis sort of just being wiff mi Mum n being forced to go to church n being emotionally violaiLe . i did a live tweet during moi tIme @ the candlelite service tht kind of went Lyke dis.

Haii !! Ok im HEREEESS.

sooooOoOo high on @dderaL i wish my legs would stop shaking . im hidIng in tha BathrOom and im Also like pooping sooOo much cuz of the anxiety idk how My Body is producing Diss wiff just 1 meaL a day. ?! i do NOT wanna go to outpatient facility for Ed probzz but my doc n i r on a safety plan .

oLd lady h3Re forgot to TurN heR pHone off Sooo her ringer is just going oFf . she doesn’t know how to turn it OFFF. shuld i HelP or just keep live twEeting??

oOk oKokOk dude who sang Mary did U kno kinda slapped . Got DaMN!!!!!!

kinda feel like mi Mum likes church sm cuz it makes her forGet ab pain which is like rly Fucked up?!?! Le sighh..!

idk if i shuld go public on twitter Cuz tbh i hav almost 6,000 tweets n they r all a mix of nudezz, rantz/ramblingzz, emo shit, random pix of kuromi n Domo n actually sum vulnerable shit lmao. Plus twitter is fallin off lowkey . Tumblr 4EVER!!!!!!

Xmas wuz funn tho outside of dat. lots of beach hoppin then i dressed uP 4 a party in which i put a pic of Jesus on my shirt n carried around a mini bible n alSooo made. A choker out of an OLd xmas ornament i Stole from mi mommi tht said No3L . i learnt tht cards against humanity has a card tht says Br1ght pink pussy n thts now my fav word besides coochie cheeze. i saw a swiss cheeze plant tht made me hungry at a fancy plant store in Laurel canyon where i drove around in circles just to find a sewing machine store tht turned out to B a vaccuum storefront tht sold broken singerz. Butt i went to peetz afterwards N got sum grass jelly brown sugar drink N i asked them Y n When they Decided to Go fuLl Bob@ gangster Cuz it didn’t seem so american Franchise now. I didnt get the answer i wanted.

Then i took some pix of me on the toiLet with .5 lens then sent it to my fwend then i found some Seggggxxyyy jeffrey campbellzz at crossroadz for like $18 IM OBSSESSEDD WIFF. then i def Wuz late to Brunch at Sunset rooftop bar which was a flashback 2 when i tried 2 get a job there n they rejected Meh even tho they asked me my availability n basically told me i was hired like summer 2021 during my haituS Back to the W3st c0@sT but it’s ok cuz the Hollandaise sauce did NOT smack.

i Luv overhearing 50-60 yr old favgots in La geek ab their green new lululemonzz n plan their nose jobs “while they r still young.” It is soooo hot and so celeb Cotoure to mEh it makes me feel sooOooo pop culture being around itz .

i wrote a lil poem ab seeing old friendzz dis week :-D <3

“

they remind me i pierced their ears

cuz it’s been a couple of years

and we had to do it twice.

and it wasn’t so nice

cuz the holes kinda closed

but at least we succeeded

when we tried.

they remind me i brought them coke

when we were all trying to cope

during 2020 quarantine.

and that nite we ate shroom filled oreos

while some of us threw up

and others held our hair back

and i kant help but

feel like a teen

tho this time im seen

so it actually feels rather nice. “

it’s been 9 months since i’ve been back home so old friends and i hold each other close

and swing in each other’s bedroom stripper poles while we sing to avril lavigne . and khole at parks and look at the bark on trees at the arCadia arboretum. we admire the lights on the race car speedway along the highway and get stuck driving on the hill up to the hollywood sign but it’s ok cuz even tho we almost got in a car accident we were 2gether n shared the sunset listening 2 fly Like a G6 . got nauseous from the K then ordered mcdonalds on door dash . shared fries then reminisce on the poetry that we’d write and the weed that we’d smoke tho i no longer toke but they remember when i used to wear lavender oil and

dreads in my hair and we all kind of laugh cuz we’re so evolved now from the naive christian girls we used to be . and we sit across the bar from one another with our gin and tonics and sodas and cran while taking multiple trips to the bathroom to snort kitty off keyz. asking what new mental illness diagnosis we’ve received now that it’s been a year since we’ve caught up with one another N continually 4give ourselves 4 who we used to b . …..

being reminded by friendzz ive known since i was like 18 tht i wuz gaslighting myself into believing i had a personality disorder summer 2021 wuz CRAZYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And i explain to my therapist i embrace my “youth” but not being “young” anymore because that’s something kinda cringey for me now. That theres a difference now for me. I kan feel it and it feels good to feel. it Seeps into the way i am able to call my old friends from the hospital anytime n i know they’ll pick up and we’ll cry n share poetry ab the people we’ve lost cuz sometimes it still doesn’t feel fair we made it this fair and they didn’t. But forgetting is nvr the answer. N it’s good to remember.

YgghHhhHh Yea!!! soooOooo ucla knows my pretend Gf is now goin thru an immense break up n they r over the possessive sheit !!! Cuz when u lick someone elses strap it’s kinda awk now !?…? thA boba gangster Store i grew up hanging around turned into an Anime boba little maid cafe ???? and all the asian food now is served w a side of rice n Beanzz instead of soy sauce egg n fried tofu w/ cabbage??????? .!!!! @quarius moons can hav my third hole , i regret not going to the froYo place in Hollywood called frog cuz mochi + plain tart yogurt is tha Besssst. Car rental place in la gav me a fuckin race caR n It Wuzz jUdt like Sosooooo h@rd to drive it made me wanna go cry in A trader joezbathroom n eat calufiflower rice smothered in butter . Dude who waited in line wiff meh for the shuttle to car rental place rite when i Landed as well gav me an egyptian cigarette n an I <3 ME liter. <3 <3 heheheh. i Def lost the liter immediately idk where it went Ugh. also i wiSh i a partner to take good pix of Meh :-[

i wuld do anything to hear an english man whIsper “beans” into moi Earzz cuz i yam bunion sun , ingrown toenail moon , and callous rising. N did hella become cali slang bc of the coachella car stickers that peel off then become just hella???? Alsoo hello kitty weighs 3 apples and is pro ana for that . Cuz why the fukk we gotta know that .

Ok well i think i typed 2 much diss week n ih8 lookin forward 2 2023 but i Dink it’ll b a good yr. ima leave behind so much bullshit n delete contactzz n old pix n msgs cuz I don’t need any of dat this upcoming yr. i wanna fall in <3, invest in my business andd focus more on long term stability + my career <3 i don wanna feel lik i need to prove anything to any1 ima jus put my head to tha sky n stay Fly lik a cheese stick. n keep my eyes on tha prize : spam musuboobiez. <3 Im landing now in Newark n hope to see more dykes w star face pimple patchezz n i STG if this white girl nxt to me doesn’t stop puttin her baby powder dookie smellin lotion on around meh Ima SCRWEAAMMMM!!! i rly rly loveeee u all !! :-3

Xxxxxxoxoxo renchang 1201 (my twitter username n 12/01 is my Old dogs bday if anyone was wondering)