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#it makes me want to cry in the best way
thethinkingcloth · 1 year
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i would kill for a whole season of just the domesticity of the last scene. them, at portland row, moving around the kitchen like they’ve done it their whole lives, laughing and just being together.
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orpheuslament · 1 year
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Night Walk, Franz Wright
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inkskinned · 9 months
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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skunkes · 4 months
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(trying to be) happy to be here
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c-kiddo · 2 months
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got to the episode n scene when fjord throws the uk'otoa sword in into the forge RAAAAAAAA
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celestialjellie · 5 days
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Insomnia is kicking my ass, so I wanna just word vomit about Marcille, and just Dungeon Meshi as a whole.
Spoilers for the Dungeon Meshi manga, and trigger warning for mentions of Suicide.
I find myself relating to Marcille in a lot of different ways. One of these way is her relationship with her dad. Ask any of my friends and they'll confirm that my dad was one of the most important people in my life. I lost him in 2020 to cancer; I got genuinely so emotional when I saw Marcille reminiscing about her dad to the others. And how she wishes she got more time with him
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These kind of stories always seem to rewonate with me because I feel like my dad was taken from me too soon as well. Marcille's facial expression in the bottom panels is an expression I'm all too familiar with making. When talking about my dad (especially with people who never got the chance to meet him) its always really bittersweet. Its great because I'm able to talk about the greatest man I've ever known, but painful too because I know I'll never be able to talk to him again, be able to cry in his shoulders, be able to turn to him for help. And it hurts.
Theres also how Marcille views death inregards to herself, and her loved ones.
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This part made me genuinely cry because, in a way, I know how it feels. While its not necessarily in regards to death (I have had some harsh deaths in my life, like my dad's passing, and two friends of mine taking their own lifes) I do know how painful it can be to say goodbye to people, which is how Kui expresses Marcille's fear of death in Dunmeshi. With Marcille's long life she's going to likely outlive everyone she loves and thus have to say goodbye to them. I also have had to say goodbye to people I didn't want to: be it because of death, ending a toxic friendship,or other reasons. I also just love this part because you can see how badly everything that transpired in that chapter affected her, after bringing everyone back her first instinct was to chew them all out for being so reckless, but when ahe finally verbalizes what had happened her emotions catch her, and all she can do is fall back against the wall and begin crying.
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I also just love how immediate Laios and Senshi is to comfort, and apologize to her, as well as promising that they won't put her through that again.
I remember I was texting my friend Terra and we were joking about Marcille being my favourite because she's a "silly gay elf" but my love for Marcille can be summed up with "I came for the silly gay elf mage, but I stayed for the beautifully written character who struggles with issues that I frequently find myself struggling with.
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Additionally I just love how Laios and the others talk Marcille downfrom the edge after she's become the master of the dungeon, it reminds me of all the times my friends have talked me down from my own edge (I love you guys 💖)
Marcille's sexuality is another thing I resonate with. I know that Kui never explicitly states anything, but as a queer person I had a hard time reading Marcille and Falin's relationship as anyother other than romantic, like, we've all seen horny Marcille's "whoa hey!" reaction to Chimera Falin tearing her own shirt off (honestly such a valid reaction from her), but the part that really got me was how tender and loving Marcille is with Falin after she's been resurrected.
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My sexuality is something I've been struggling with a lot recently. A little over a year ago my boyfriend of nearly 8 years left me, and up until recently I was identifying as bisexual. However within the past few months I've found myself caring less and less for sex, and a strong desire for the roamntic aspects of a relationship, specifically with women. So seeing Marcille look at Falin with such adoration really resonated with me; I just really love their relationship.
This series is just so amazing, and it resonated with me in so many different ways from everything I've mentioned in this post about Marcille, to things like how Laios is such an amazing allegory for living with autism, to how Senshi has helped myself get a better, healthier relationship with food. Itw just an amazing series and easily in my top 5 anime/mangas.
That is all, I'm gonna try to get some sleep now, here have a dancing Marcille as thanks for reading.
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katierosefun · 3 months
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modern family is all fun and games until you get to the scenes where you burst into tears because the once-vaguely homophobic dad now refers to his son's husband as family, and also the academically gifted daughter realizes that her dorky, clumsy dad was always really proud of her and just never surprised because he just assumed she could do anything, and also the eldest daughter who eloped comes crawling back to her parents' room and whispers that she still wants her parents to be present for her wedding, and also the anxious queer lawyer character admits that he was terrified that his husband would just leave him alone with their baby daughter, and also that the once-vaguely grouchy dad looks at his stepson and tells him that what makes a family is who sticks around, not who you're blood-related to and anyways what was i saying
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intrusivepng · 1 year
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Stmg the qsmp understands is the importance of winning
Yes our characters can experience loss and they lose several times
But they also win yknow? There is always still hope. They all love eachother and are willing to do anything to help one another.
This server is not just full of loss but full of hope, of family, of love <3
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rottiens · 27 days
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I was going to make a post about choso's death and how gege just used that as an excuse to kill him but I was going to end up cursing sukuna, my pookie bear, so I'll keep silent better and hope gege feels my bad vibes from here.
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biblionerd07 · 1 month
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I tried watching some of the Ian/Mickey scenes from season 11 and it made me ill. These are IMPOSTERS. That is not Ian and Mickey!! Especially Mickey!!! Look at how they massacred my boy. But one of the most frustrating parts is that if you watch the deleted scenes it shows that someone in that writers’ room DID know how to write Ian and Mickey but the producers or whoever makes that decision were like “nah, no meaningful conversations that show how much they love and respect each other and are working on their relationship. These fans who’ve been watching the characters struggle for a decade want them to continuously argue and beat the shit out of each other and act like they hate each other!”
#John wells if I ever catch you#there were a very few small spots of goodness and I credit ONLY Noel and cam for that#they were doing their level best#some of the things they had coming out of Mickey’s mouth made me want to drive my head through a wall#in what world am I supposed to believe Mickey was getting blow jobs from other guys#and making a joke out of Ian’s bipolar????#like the one time they remembered they even wrote Ian as bipolar and it was for a shitty line where Mickey throws it in his face#it feels like every season is a whole new show and not connected at all to the others#and then it starts feeling like every EPISODE is a whole new show that’s not connected#why was there like a goofy soundtrack as Mickey’s literal Nazi abusive rapist father moved in next door#Noel was giving us everything and they made a joke out of it#and then they made a joke out of Mickey being conflicted and crying after terry died??????????#I want to kill them#Ian saying frank was worse than terry????? girl in what world??????#Mickey was NEVER insecure about bottoming and he was always adamant about how much he loved it but suddenly it’s an issue#from ‘liking what I like don’t make me a bitch’ back when he could barely LOOK at Ian to…this#also Ian used to be very sweet even when he was being stubborn and self-righteous and even violent#but they really lost his sweetness#and I know it wasn’t just cam growing up bc there were glimpses of it in the way he chose to have Ian move and hold onto Mickey#but the writers seemed hell bent on all of the characters being so horrible to each other#in the early seasons they could sometimes be cruel and selfish even to each other but underneath it all they loved each other#and it feels like when they decided to lean solely into goofy comedy that lost that#it’s just sad to see a show that started so good end so badly#I’ve seen people talking about a spinoff with Ian and Mickey and I don’t even fucking want it with these writers#maybe if cam and Noel were producers and got to choose the storylines#they’re the only ones I trust
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compacflt · 1 year
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i'm so curious: what's your favorite thing you've written? something that makes you nod and go, "yeah, that's it right there. i did that." just the best combination of words you've ever churned out in your personal opinion. it makes you proud just Thinking about it. could be a sentence, a paragraph, etc.
very cute ask anon, thank you. im going to assume for your benefit that you mean specifically my icemav writing—obviously I write outside of top gun and am very proud of that stuff but it wouldn’t make sense out of context.
There’s a lot of more recent stuff that I’m extremely extremely proud of on a technical level, but I’m prouder of this paragraph below on a deeper more existential level.
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This paragraph was one of the first parts of WWGATTAI i ever wrote—august 12, i think, well before I had fully realized the characters’ voices or their attitudes towards life/each other; I only had about 5k written of what is now a 300k+ project (at the time of writing this paragraph i wanted it to be 10k max) and had no real outline, didn’t know who or what I was dealing with, hadnt seen TGM in two months, had done no research (so it’s not at all politically/militarily accurate or anything, why the FUCK is ice going to fucking GUAM)—and STILL this wound up being my favorite paragraph in the entire fucking series. not to suck my own dick or anything. I’m STILL so proud of this paragraph, 9 months and 275k+ words later, even though i Absolutely Would Not write it this way now.
#narrative distance both incredibly close and incredibly far#he’s trying to rationalize this whole situation and by extent the whole plot of his life#we’re inside his head as he tries to convince both Pete and himself of this huge huge lie#which is that leaving (right after he fucked their relationship and their best friend just died) is worth it for the navy’s sake#and it will make him a good man#in the masculine strong man leadership sense#and Pete (first name instead of last name; über vulnerable in the worst way because he’s crying yet doesn’t want to be seen crying)#counters all of this lie with—does it? does it really mean you’re a good man? it means you’re the weakest most subservient man i know#bending over backwards for the navy instead of your FAMILY#yeah i would absolutely not write this paragraph this way NOW but i am still so proud of what it represents in the story#& the very experimental 2nd person without quotation marks is i think done very well#at least for august 2022 me#some wording/phrasing/detail issues but other than that—a great paragraph!#again not to suck my own dick but you asked!#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#icemav#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun fanfiction#edts notes#asks#this is a terrible chapter in aggregate but it has some of the best diamond-in-the-rough moments in the whole series#ughhh the Pete this has nothing to do with Afghanistan; pete this has nothing to do with iraq etc line…. SOO good omg i love it sorry
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johnmeowston · 1 year
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top ten guys who would shatter if thrown at a wall number 1
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azumasoroshi · 1 year
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the shizu-chan song
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just discovered the shizu-chan song by none other than johnny yong bosch. help me
id transcribe if i didnt have a final in 10 hours. maybe when i get back
oh nvm someone already wrote them out
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this has similar energy as the bro duet song but like. in reverse bgskjdghjkgsd the no homo is for real
plus an animatic version and amv version because holy hell this is old
#i hear there's another shizuo song by johnny yong bosch according to the comments from 2017 but ill have to wait until yt recommends me it#anyway this makes me want to make a bro duet animatic for shizaya#which would be hilarious because. they're not bros#the ship dynamic of 'two guy best friends who maybe kiss sometimes' is very good but very not shizaya#so the spontaneous love confessions just come out of fucking nowhere during one of their fights#it would be really funny. trust#and probably better than the angst and self-denial festival i would make animating the actual shizu-chan song#i can already see the half-smiling-to-himself half-looks-like-he's-about-to-cry pining semi-regretful izaya face at the last shizu-chan#also. izaya guitar player headcanon hello#if someone can make an artist hobbyist izaya au i can make a guitar hobbyist izaya au#tbh izaya's more spontaneous and i feel like he wouldnt like all the hard work and practice time that goes into learning an instrument#like his main hobbies like parkour and switchblade throwing are stuff he gets to put into practice all the time and are more 'useful'#but instrument practice it's just him and his thoughts and callused hands for hours at a time#feel like he'd get frustrated pretty easily in that way#anyway wouldnt it be hot if izaya played the guitar LMFAOO fuck my characterization and let that man play fingerstyle#izaya playing piano is a somewhat popular headcanon anyway#god i have the worst habit of putting the entirety of my post into the tags. must be the incorrect lov joke bits spilling over#shizaya#shizuo heiwajima#izaya orihara#durarara#Youtube
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indigopoptart · 29 days
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man i love the people im surrounded with. how did this happen. youre all so lovely😭
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blubble-lake · 8 months
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it's been over 2 weeks and this thing (unfortunately) still has a grip on me
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biohazard-inevitable · 3 months
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I love the vinsmokes because I hate the vinsmokes.
I hate them, so much im going to throw hands with all of them
But i am nothing if not a slut for delicious angst and the vinsmokes are the WORST I love it
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