#it is. harder to answer things abt myself lol;;;

[candiid-caniine]

Hey! Long time no see, i know i said id send you a fantasy i thought you'd like but now ive forgotten almost all of it, oop!

Life happened, and uh, i saw that you mentioned your libido being a bit low, which definitely is my case too (im recovering from depression, now that im okay id love to get my FULL libido back, or at least a good percentage of it) do you have any tips on that?

Also any recs of blogs writing in the same vibe as you? (same-ish kinks would be nice but im specifically looking for queer inclusive stuff!) it makes me 10x hornier than the regular video/photo porn!

Hope you're well, you pathetic little thing!

💫

hi friend!! ugh i feel you. sorry i haven't got any advice on regaining ur libido...we just let mine wax and wane as it will, though denial has been a big help in keeping it steady!

i've heard good things abt ginseng and some other herbs. obvs use at your own risk, mind that some herbal treatments can cross-interact with certain medications, remember that pre-packaged supplement pills are often unregulated and may contain toxins, and be aware that some herbal remedies work better on pw certain anatomy than others, and finally that many herbal remedies considered to increase libido are largely untested on trans folx!

finally, sorry it's taken so long to answer this ask...i'm autistic and have been cataloguing lol. i present to you a list of other blog recs under the cut, organized by general vibe! i've tried to primarily include blogs that do their own posts rather than those who primarily reblog :)

note that my headings may provide some context as to what to expect, but you read at your own risk and each blog will typically have its own trigger warnings addressed in the header/pinned. additionally, i've not tagged some of the ppl below because they prefer that "Men DNI" blogs not interact, and idk if "no cis men" qualifies ahah!

all blogs below are queer- and/or trans-inclusive, if not exclusive! there is no detrans/misgendering, at least I don't think - i don't tend to follow those blogs.

hard kinks (blood, knives, etc; includes primarily-cnc blogs):

@puppy-mommy , who also does general t4t kink content, but does state untagged hard kinks!

@visciousest is someone whose blog i scroll when i'm in a Certain Mood ahah,, i won't elaborate

@hell-hound-bites: just. fuck. would drool on his knife blade.

@snuff-fag: its username should give you fair warning as to how wild its content tends to get, so please browse responsibly.

@condor-bait is taking a break right now, and all my love is with him as he takes care of himself. he made me feel so valid and so fuckable as a young trans person learning to love myself in a new way, and i've always been too shy to tell him how much his content meant to me one-on-one (yes, despite its often-extreme themes!), and he deserves as much time as he needs to heal!

@unwillingfvckpuppy for mostly cnc and medical kinks! if you like his style, but not so much their harder content, he also has a more-tame main blog--i just mainly follow/scroll this one!

@vampvictim: top-tier cnc/intox stuff, plus some great knife/bloodplay :)

@cryptidtid is wonderful and holy shit i follow a lot of hard kink blogs lol. incredible

@cnc-pet: i have been following her for a long ass fucking time lol. they post a lot of really good cnc and stories, but you'll also find a lot of aftercare tips and advice on her blog! i really admire blogs who try to balance horny content with best practices

@dollobotomy

general kinky content:

@excessively-queer . just plain old good shit :) there's a good amt of edging and degradation.

@clouded-king was honestly one of my earlier introductions to the queer/t4t kink community on here and how fucking euphoric it can be :) he posts some hard kinks, but generally it's a balance of a lot of different kinks so read his pinned at your leisure!

@ / cottontailx : just good kinky nsft posts :)

@ / digitalpenetration: often specifically t4t which i love!!

@femmelovefemme can step on me :)

@bigothteddies: could not build this section w/o mentioning him :) they had a big influence on my fantasies for a long time!

@hazelj-xoxo: bigtime want her to cuck me. have followed her across multiple blog deletions lol

@transpidered is forever an icon!

@subspaceemo

@writefinch for great stories and text posts

edging and denial, specifically:

@6irlpet is 1 of my go-to hands-down-pants scroll sessions :)

@droolkink is my inspiration!

@flustersluts does exactly what the name implies lol. a good helping of other kink content too :)

@puppycvnt is a 10/10!

@barkwoofbarkwoofbark: we r denial friends imo!!

@strawbrrysub

@blyssful-abyss

@urhighnessbitch is a big fav <3

non-detrans genderplay:

@butchviolence does amazing butch supremacy stuff and i,,, fucking hell. even just seeing their username puts me in a Particular state of mind ahah. they also post hard kinks so be aware as you proceed!

@mtfdomme: i literally just reblogged from her today lol. tbh i want to be their little stupid pupthing. it's not all transfem supremacy undertones/overtones, but that's what i mainly follow her for, plus just general t4t goodness! also, their general personality? and the way she shuts down people who disrespect their boundaries? huge inspiration for me!

@cuntboydestroyer: take me to the animal shelter and neuter me. good lord.

@the-kind-of-dame is the main inspiration for my recent genderplay post lol

@terfbreaking-tgirl (be warned of dykebreaking if that's an issue for you)

@barbarian-lesbian is my other inspiration for the recent genderplay post

@superiorineveryway

weird asf (/complimentary; my favorite type of shit. robots, ND-focused posts, etc):

@specksizedgoddess has introduced me to things i didn't know, like...existed, and that's saying a lot as one of my special interests is kink! never knew how down bad i was to be a tiny buggirl, nor how much i wanted to be someone's stupid little robot... BIG tw tho: there is snuff and gore content here, so proceed with caution if you don't wanna see that!

@sapphling fucked me up real good with some bird!sub bondage posts awhile back lol

@nobelisha: found them through their ghost cnc post so that's why they're in this category ahah! they don't have a pinned so proceed w awareness :)

@devout-cleric: hierophilia/religion kink, and i'm something of an acolyte of hers :) if you've read this far down you may as well know i'm her Little Lamb anon lol

piss/omo:

@latenightomo

@pissheartmybeloved - their URL makes me crack up every time, plus good content!

@hold-it-a-little-longer - good scenarios/imagines!

@ohmyrashi - (i think) my original intro to omo!

monsterfucking/terato:

@septimus-moonlight was my first real introduction to trans-positive terato and i've never settled for half-fun cis-oriented terato ever since :) mind tags!

@eggedbellies as well!

@bredpun doesn't appear to be active lately but still good for a scroll!

@steamandcream

@of-mutts-and-men

#t4t nsft #asks #gen #denial #h/d #advice #💫 anon

[salvatwh0re]

Did you have an religious trauma or are toj religious like I know were god and stuff I’ve always believed there’s something beyond traditional religion at play but at the same time sometimes i think god is making fun of me or punishing me until I repent or something that’s why the law isn’t working but I know that’s not true it’s just my anxiety but still do u have any experience with that or advice. Sometimes I’ll for to church (by force) and the sermon is abt something I’m doubting like god is trying to speak with me or something and make me give up and repent

Omg yes! I grew up in a very religious christian/catholic hispanic family on my mom’s side. My dad’s side was a lot more open minded and spiritual, so i was a bit torn throughout my childhood. My mom would also force me to go to church because she didn’t want me to end up like my dad (with no true religion) and so that was always in the back of my mind because i didn’t want to disappoint my mom. Then i started questioning myself like do i really believe in god or do i just want to not disappoint my mom. Then i found out that god doesn’t like gay people and he sends them to hell or whatever and that made me really sad because at that time one of my favorite cousins had just came out and she’s such a good person always helping out the homeless and going in mission trips so i didn’t understand how someone who did such good things would end up in hell simply because they loved someone.

In the end I realized it wasn’t that I don’t believe in God, but that I didn’t like the way the religion worshipped him. It was very culty and contradictory. And although I still went to church with my mom (which i felt very guilty about), I could seem to be frustrated with myself I would always ask myself why i couldn’t just be normal and be religious. Then I found out about manifestation in 2019. And i had a grand realization that I’m in control of my destiny and it’s not already decided for me by some big angry man in the sky. And that the higher power is a part of me and not as demanding and vindictive as they make it seem in the bible. So i’m not an atheist lol, but I just don’t believe in the way christians perceive god/ the higher power.

When I started realizing that “I am god” I did have a moment where just felt lost like I was doing something wrong and I should be ashamed. It was difficult especially when i always had my mom in my ear preaching the gospel. I would definitely say it made it harder for me with the law of assumption/ the void state and shifting because I always had that doubt in my mind. Like what if my mom is right and i’m just going down the wrong path. But then I had way too many success stories of my own for it to be a coincidence. I felt a lot happier than I did when i was practicing christianity.

To answer you question, yes I do feel like that was holding me back, it was definitely a HUGE limiting belief that i didn’t even think about getting rid of. But i think the best way for you to get over that is to trust that there is a higher power and there is a god, but that instead of punishing you for discovering your own path, it will allow you to find your way with a little bit of guidance. So really i’m not saying that you need to completely abandon your religion to be able to manifest or tap into the void state, because that’s not it at all. There are so many people in very strict religions that have been able to manifest their dream life while still sticking to their religion. Manifestation and the void is not against any religion. It’s a natural human right and ability, we do it every day whether we’re conscious of it or not. For the problem wasn’t whether manifesting was against my religion or not, it was the fact that I was straying away from my religion and that the LOA community helped me realize how much my religion was holding me back.

If your concern is that it’s against your religion, trust god would not have given you the ability to do it if it were a sin. The void state is not some outside force, in fact if anything the void state would help you rid you of your sin because in that state you’re free of all intrusive, negative, and limiting thoughts. Creating your own path is nothing to repent for.

[izzy-b-hands]

hiiiiii holden ily. 🍓 🥑🦴🧩

Ella, thank u!!!

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

Already answered, but! I provide another Early Fanfic Fact abt myself: my friends and I in middle school and into early high school had a shared notebook (s) for MCR fanfiction. Just those cheap crappy thin ones from like, Wal-Mart, but we could have a bunch on hand as we filled each one up lol. We passed those around, everyone either adding onto in progress fics (with original author's permission), or just adding nice comments or little drawings (we were a bunch of goth/emo kids in the aughts, so. Not so skilled anime style portraits of various band members/anime characters, that one weird S that I think everyone learned how to do.)

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

Tbh, probably all of you guys, yourself very much included Ella lol. Depending on exactly how badly I've fucked up, we might need a variety of skills, variety of access to a variety of things. Some people coordinating hiding the body, others helping me figure out a disguise, some working on plane, train, etc tickets and finding places for me to hide. In return, I'll only mildly jeopardize my hiding places by sending u guys cool stuff that I think you'll like from wherever I am at the time jfadlskjadjal. This is the one situation where I'm aware actually having a lot of ppl involved would be a bad idea, but it's funnier for the bit to imagine this like some Ocean's/Kingsman level of silly shit after I accidentally kill someone (at least one person is dedicated to just keeping me from panicking abt that tbh lmao.)

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

There's a lot of them!

Only Lovers Left Alive (movie), Last Night at the Lobster (book), The Man Who Fell to Earth (book and the movie), are the first ones that come to mind (the second one partially bc I'm due for a reread of it, and since moving have no idea where my copy is.) There's a much larger full list tho of course, that includes music too which immediately adds several miles to said list lol.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Honestly? if it's touted as the 'most perfect' or 'only correct characterisation' or other similar 'this fic is the Only Fic Ever don't read anything else from this fandom' vibes.

I've found that fics like that aren't necessarily bad, some are lovely! But they don't tend to live up to all the hype every time, and I feel. Weird. Abt having that high of expectations vs being able to go in more neutral, or like, a fic that I've had one or two ppl recommend to me.

I always worry talking abt this, bc really, less popular vs more popular fics aren't a 'one is better than the other' situation, at least not to me. I've read some amazing, very popular fics, and I've read some that had barely twenty kudos that still live rent free in my head just as much as the former. It just kinda depends, but, that said, I still have a harder time going into the 'BNF' (hate that term) fics than others.

I have other things that'll make me back out of a fic, but this is one that's come up the most in the last couple of years in particular for me when fic-reading/searching for fic to read lol.

#text post #ask box things #no one kill me for the last question lmao bc i still try a stupid amount of fics like that #I tell myself that I at least need to give them a try and then if i'm not vibing I can dip out and at least leave a kudos u know? #anyway I wish I still had access to those notebooks as goofy as they were lol #the lil drawings would have been cute to take pics of and share

[technovillain]

i love jameela to death so here’s some questions:

-after “fuck giving rich people dangerous technology” does she distance herself from technology entirely or does she keep making personal stuff and/or stuff that’s much harder to exploit? i think she could make some fucking awesome animal monitoring tech (like keeping track of individuals of endangered species, citizen volunteer data collection on bird populations and stuff)

-what’s her flavors of queer and/or neurodivergent

-does she ever end up doing missions or is she not super duper into the agent stuff

-is her dad a rich asshole or just oblivious and ignorant or a mix of the two

-how do you think she’d get along with some of the junior agents, especially norma, gisu, and sam

HI THIS ASK IS ANCIENT BUT I'VE BEEN HOLDING ONTO IT THINKING ABT IT MEANING TO ANSWER IT SO HERE WE GO. ALSO THANK U SOOO MUCH FOR ALL THE INSIGHTFUL QUESTIONS I LOVE THIS.

After that, she pretty much makes a vow to herself to never make a psychic invention again!!!! (....) and then time passes and she goes "Well just one little thing for myself." (....) "Okay just another for just myself." (.....) "Okay it's fine if I'm only making things for myself, even if it's a lot of things. I need technology." What you said there is Exactly the kind of stuff she'd be making too! While she takes a very loud approach to her activism, her approach to saving the world by trying to prevent the horrible future she saw is much more under the radar...mostly because she's still using the psychic technology that she built for herself but pretends that she didn't build at all because she said she swore it off! (She is constantly fighting herself in her own head about this lol.)

I haven't fully decided on this! But I would say that she is asexual and has OCD.

She really kind of functionally.... leaves the Psychonauts after a certain point. Like in a "You're always welcome to come back" kind of way. This is something that I still need to do more thinking on because I need to decide how I think the Psychonauts, being a government funded organization, would feel about psychic activism entering the public sphere.... But anyways yeah I see her leaving for an extended period but coming back when there is suddenly a mission that requires her assistance specifically (one involving Gusty and Veranda.)

I'd have to say he's definitely a mix of the two, leaning more towards the second one. I can't remember exactly how much detail I went into on her story and how it might have changed since I last posted about it (bc tumblr's tag search feature is functionally useless rip) BUT Dallas Delmarro is indeed a tech guru so while his concepts were birthed from those "childhood dreamer with a lot of big ideas" mindsets you always see in people like him, he ended up really focused on his company's bottom line. Business school changed this dude. He is still a pretty good dad considering everything. But considering he's a single father and his job pretty much consumes his life it is pretty easy to see why Jameela felt a strong need to get good at inventing things from a young age (cough cough so she would feel more important to him)

I like to picture these characters existing at the Motherlobe a few years after the events of Psychonauts 2, just so I don't have to think too hard about where they're at in regards to the plot of PN2. Just assuming that most of the big things regarding that plot have died down at this point. So all of the interns/junior agents from the game would be a few years older than Jameela when she gets there. I think she would probably like Norma okay from afar, but not really have any desire to become friends with her...because she can see how she gets. I think she would not know anything at all about Sam and be a little put off by her and not able to read her at all. She would totally be jealous of Gisu though. Because I see Gisu in a few years as working alongside Otto. And in Jameela's story, she came to the Motherlobe to work with Otto but something urgent came up regarding developing some sort of technology, and Sasha and him and Gisu were all working together to develop it. So Jameela doesn't really care for Gisu or Sasha just because they're interfering with her track to success.

#jameela delmarro #oc tag #ask #anonymous #.txt

[twillean-sparks]

Hey! If you don’t mind me asking, why did you move to a new blog?

[ID: another anon ask reading "Yeah but why DID you move blogs" /end ID]

Idk how to answer this and not make it sount like utter nonsense but,, a variety of reasons basically! Simple version: I just wanted a fresh start.

(Im gonna ramble a bit abt that under the cut)

Uhh I'll try and keep this.. not too long-

So like. I've changed. A lot lol. When I started my old blog I had never really used tumblr before (just here and there back in the old days) and I had come from Instagram, of all places, so I could branch out, connect with other artists, and just.. have a cool new place to share art!

I'd had my old blog since about *checks notes* October 2022, so over a year ago now. It's not that old for a tumblr blog, I know, but back then I started off posting magical creatures + oc art, and I had been doing the same thing on IG as well (with more traditional art and dragon sculptures but that's besides the point). It was tumblr that started influencing my art more, it was this very site that introduced me to fandoms as a whole!

I went from this:

To this:

And I'm really proud of that. Sure, I still cringe at my old takes and my old art. I mean, it'd be weird not to!

That's why when I decided to move blogs, I never even considered deleting my old posts, deactivating my old blog, or heck, even distancing myself from "Twillean" entirely. If I did, then.. what would even be the point of creating a new blog just to distance myself from it when I inevitably change?

(Oh, and I of course wouldn't want to just scurry off and leave my mutuals (moots/followers who are reading this pls know you mean a lot to me), or at least just pop up on a new blog that has no connection to.. myself as Twillean)

I moved Twitter accs recently as well, but for different reasons that I don't really want to get into, and i guess that was the final push? Idk.

But uhh,,,,, yeah. I have my reasons for moving, but explaining them without heading off track is much harder than I would've thought ig. Now I'm here and explaining why I moved blogs without really giving a clear reason. Sorry for that, I hope my inane ramblings sufficed for you both !!

#twillean.txt #this actually makes no sense and im sorry for that lmao #erm you're welcome anons? #described #☆ starmail ☆

[socialbunny]

A,I, V and X for the ask game :D

putting this under a cut bc i wrote that long thing abt bella goth lmaooo if tumblr lets me tumblr never lets me put shit under the cut the first time >:(

Favourite CC Creator

going to force myself to namedrop creators instead of just saying everyone you and roguebotanist for the mm hair retextures yall do, deedeesims, nikki platasp ofc bc she makes so much quality shit its crazy, anyone that does poppetv2 hairs bc i'm lazy sometimes <3, anyone that makes male clothing that isn't butt ugly (can't name a specific person lol a lot of male s4 clothes just look bad in ts4 and in ts2), io for unique and new clothes meshes, ummmm some other ppl i'm forgetting lmao im thinking too hard abt it and if i think too hard they really cant be my favorite huh? so yah

shoutout to all my mutuals tho that make cc <3 i love all u guys sm i just cant think of names for some reason <3333 i should probably just make an oldschool blogroll or follow forever :/ or some shit

Your Bella Goth Theories!

i wrote wayyyyy too much sorry this is more of a plot i have in my head than anything 😭

she did get abducted by aliens, but they all started freaking out due to kidnapping THE bella goth instead of that lame slut that nobody cares about 😒 they don't really need the flack of capturing a well-known person again. it makes what they do soooo much harder 🙄 so after panicking for a bit they just drop her ass right outside of strangetown fuck it.

congruently, daddy bigbucks and his bestie attorney lily gates are on their way to strangetown to start that bullshit ass show he makes, but this time on the way a wormhole opens up in the sky and the bigbucks from the end of the gba game (you know, when his shit ends up coming back to bite him in the ass), falls from the sky and causes them to have an accident, and the gba!bigbucks takes over their operation. they happen upon bella and take her hostage too, and really start monetizing on the "bella got abducted by aliens" story. merch, signs, ads in the paper, they bring on a look-alike bella to walk around strangetown and eat out of the trash act nothing like bella so ppl can talk and call the hotline they bought. really banking on this.

after some time passes and they're racking in a moderate amount of money, gba!bigbucks decides that the original idea he had with the strangetown reality show could work with pv/st/vv is in it too lets pretend there's a reason why it was incorporated. they have the money, the inkling of a plot that could go any way possible, all they needed to do was put that shit into action.

bella during all of this is just living lavish in bigbucks mansion. as time goes on the urge + guilt to go back to her family lessens more and more as the frankly fucked up reality tv plans grows. technically she's even more of star now than she was before, but she's more subdued to the public because she's never really cared about 'fame' in regards to the public. the only things she does now are be the "woman that got abducted" and show up in the show sometimes to stir some shit, and hang with her friends and make moneyyyyyyy. she gets to be beautiful and fabulous and gorgeous with few responsibilities and that's how its been for almost 20 years :3

ask me more abt this if anybody wants tooo i skimmed details in my head bc i realized i was stretching the word "theory" out.

How Did You Start Playing the Sims?

probably would have the same answer as here :)

Do you use the Lifetime or Career Rewards?

nooo i don't. they're just so boring to me and i always forget they exist tbh

#chat #writing that bella thing reminded me that i need to dl that miniopolis sims 2 hood. brb #ask

[shameboree]

hey kels i was scrolling through my dash and then i caught a glimpse of your new fallon drawing and i want you to know that i went absolutely buckwild and then i scrolled further to see the whole drawing and i'm pretty sure i squealed. kels ever since ive started following you and your art and fallon have slowly nestled yourself inside my brain its amazing how excited i get whenever u upload a new drawing. also ive noticed that i'm slowly but surely starting to sound more and more unhinged and wild like you. how the fuck do you have so much influence on me. 

ALSO i love the new fallon drawing!! you are so right blue gold and white are just her colours they fit her v well!! and i love how much texture you used throughout the whole drawing and her shoes are AWESOME!! also love the whole winter fairy-ish vibe <3

ALSO i was wondering if you could like sort of,, idk explain your drawing process on this drawing? like if you did the colouring first or the lineart and stuff bc i just love how it turned out and id love to try something similar!!

AW!!! i am so hype for my awful girl to be Enjoyed so much!! she is my favorite dressup doll i love to play barbies with her most of all heheh. also i am THRILLED that my Unhinged and Unwell nature have rubbed off on u. i know i am a Strong personality and it makes me V POLARIZING (i am either LOVED or LOATHED i havent met many ppl who are just like meh abt me. i am an Experience) and its always a DELIGHT when someone finds my feral animal traits endearing or positive and kind of picks up on them. i think because life is short that we should all be as bananas as we please at any point in time. PURE ID HERE BABY

AND TY TY!! my girl has a strong aesthetic and this piece kind of went a liiiiittle against some of that (its a lot of hard angles vs i normally give her a lot of ovals and rounded edges) but for the setting its appropriate bc im trying to give her a bit more of a """"harsh"""" or """"severe"""" vibe (like as harsh and severe as she can possibly look which isnt very). i LOVE to use texture brushes they are such an easy way to get out of drawing details myself because i am SO lazy!!

okay i “”answered”” this i GUESS technically because i typed words in response but its a whole lot of jack shit so like. here ya go. SORRY PAL. 

here are some more shoes as u can see i basically draw her in the same ones always except when i draw her in a plugsuit

OKAY THE DRAW IN QUESTION i kind of cheated on bc i literally just traced over one of my older draws i did for a very obscure au i made of who made me a princess (i am always doing such ridiculously niche shit i love to sit in my little sandbox and have no one else understand my barbie rps) BUT the process is the same as basically every draw i do like this. it is very simple so dont worry (or do, maybe)

i use 1-3 layers at a time and then immediately merge when i feel like im done and LIVE W MY MISTAKES if not!! anyway prepare to be massively underwhelmed heh

this is so funny i cant believe i literally traced my own drawing im a fuckin FRAUD im the laziest bitch i know. anyway. my sketches are way messier than this but it always starts out either scratch ass lines or color blocking w this bright ass magenta bc thats what feels right!!!!!!

HERES THE LAYERS I USED LOL i do all textures n shit as a clipping mask so actually i used 4 layers for this bc id set down one texture or pattern that was gonna overlap on a diff layer so i wouldnt have to work harder to erase and then BLINDLY MERGED to make things more difficult if actually i fucked up before that!!! work smarter not harder except when it is absolutely braindead to do otherwise is my motto

IF IM DOIN SMTH NICER like this then i usually make sure all my lines connect (this is also why i do a lot of angles and simple clear shapes when i draw) so i can set that layer as reference and USE THE FUCKING FILL TOOL BAYBEEEEE!!!!! this also makes it easier to fuck around with COLOR imho bc you can just rapidly swatch with zero efforts. i Love to take shortcuts. i Love to be lazy. i HIGHLY rec this, if i have colored smth that stays in the lines then its bc i connected the lineart and used the bucket fill underneath. if my lines dont connect sometimes ill make a temp line and erase after i filled. im dedicated. ALSO u can see here that my patterns layer is all overlapping and fucked up bc i didnt check and erase fully but i use p limited palettes in general so... IT DIDNT MATTER THIS TIME!!!!!!!!. 

anyway after all that i lock the lineart layer if i havent already and color some of the lines for some PIZAZZ. easy way to immediately fake effort i do love to do that

HERES AN ACTUALLY MESSY SKETCH:

 i do all of my fucking draws on the same canvas bc im a horrible little beast, so the only reason i didnt erase the sketch and use it for the colors layer was bc there were others on that layer already and i didnt wanna scoot them so i could cap the finished draw. i did NOT connect my lines for this one i colored like a toddler. who gives a shit we all die in the end anyway!!! 

YOU DIDNT ASK FOR THIS BUT LINELESS MY LOVE... i just color blocked for this one alas i do not have process caps, i will do that next time i draw i guess if anyone wants that!!? i typically only use a single layer for lineless- block out the shape, alpha lock, then color and carve from there. EASY PEASY!! ive shown it before but i spent all my formative draw years on v limited feature programs (mspaint, oekaki, TEGAKI MOST OF ALL) so i dont explore tools much and do what seems easiest and most intuitive to me... im sorry i dont have any sick tricks or real process i am but a feral little clown drawing in the DIRT. also here is the tegaki overlay i use whenever i am Blocked or fatigued w procreate layout. it makes me feel NOSTALGIC and INSPIRED so i do this instead of like, actually getting on tegs2

this ended up long as fuck and FOR WHAT?? its just 10 images and several paragraphs of “sorry im the laziest fucker ALIVE”

#idk what to say here every time i type anything i thnk it makes me seem just completely detached from reality #its not untrue i GUESS. im Unwell but in a stable SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED THERAPY AND HAVING FUN WITH IT kind of way #kels talks #damn sorry anon this was a whole lot of not answering you at all

[rpfisfine]

(hi im back I got scared bc I worried I'd focused too much on myself in my last ask and the demons took over Help) idk why im shocked that there aren't any fics unique to wattpad I dont think the boyboy following is a wattpad bunch we're all old pretentious fucks (endearing). I rly hope they're cool with fics,,, i hope they Get It,,, that would be really sick. they've surprised me before, they can do it again!

you ARE being brave holy shit if I was in your position I think I'd shit myself to DEATH this tension is killing me but I agree your fics are so well written like they're rpf but more importantly they're really good??? truly moving?? literary even??? and i have hope that they'll appreciate that too

- 🌵

HIIIIIIIIIII noooooooo omg not at all!!! its just that ive genuinely sucked ass at answering asks in general since the dawn of time and in the past couple of weeks i have gotten more asks than ive ever received before in my entire life LOL plus my memory is shit so if i dont answer Immediately i forget ive even been sent anything in the first place and its just this whole thing but me not responding wasnt caused by anything you did in the slightest i LOVE getting asks from you!!!

god i literally know it makes complete sense but at the same time it surprised me as well maybe wattpad rly isnt what i remember it being anymore maybe it has fallen off in a pretty major way since 2014..... dude i literally cannot exaggerate how much i want that to be true LOL i rly rly rly hope they are too like i know logically they wouldnt be making the video if they werent but still...... tbh aleksa does strike me as someone who has legitimately written self insert fanfiction abt him & alex in the past so. i think there's some hope for us (joking obvs. unless..)

im gonna be real there hasnt been one moment in the past couple of days where i wasnt shitting and pissing and vomiting myself to death i literally wake up in cold sweat nowadays expecting my inbox to be flooded w anons being like DUDE THE VIDEO IS OUT FHFGNG.. like its BAD the tension is kiling me as well. ohhhhhmy god stop you guys are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo niceys to me i cant believe it..... god.....them apprer . them Complim , them ap- i cant even say it . is something i genuinely honestly cannot even begin to think abt like you guys r being so brave and normal abt this and r trying to comfort me constantly and i just feel like i havent made any mental progress at all since the day of the fateful discovery LOL like ever since i learned its not gonna be posted to their patreon w roughly 5000 subscibers like i hoped but instead to their yt channel with 800k+ subscibers i have been trying even Harder to gaslight myself into thinking my fics somehow wont make it into the video bc when i like sit down and make a serious attempt to entertain the possibility of 800k ppl potentially seeing my writing its just . Like my brain legitimately shuts down. i just cannot physically or mentally comprehend that number at all its not REAL!!!! to me!!!!!! get me out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<33333333333333333 #i rly need to like get over myself already and stop being so dramatic abt this whole thing like maybe its literally fine . #i cant rly explain my general issue in a way that doesnt make me sound like an asshole but i guess it all boils down to the fact that #with my black and white autistic as shit thinking i consider there to be only 2 major types of rpf #1. the like . normal wholesome cute lighthearted G-rated kind that revolves around them going to the grocery store or sth #and 2. the genuinely seriously creepy kind written by maladjusted ppl that makes me sick to my stomach when im unfortuante enough #to encounter it in the wild #& because i for some reason dont consider my writing to fall into the 1st category (even though some of it probably still technically does) #i automatically freak out over it potentially sharing some similarities w the 2nd kind which i KNOW like logically know isnt true. #and in fact its what exists in the vague middle that is the most popular kind of rpf and can range from Bad to seriously impressive #and i guess literary to use your analogy. and like. maybe thats fine. maybe my worst offense is having written a couple of thousand words #abt them having sex. and maybe they can handle that. #asks #cactus anon #sorry for how obscenely disgustingly disturbingly long this is holy shit i need to relax. but i think ive FINALLY articulated what i mean

[adieu-mon-coeur]

sweet: has your f/o noticed something about you that no one else has? :3

Oh gosh yes, Natsuki is...very perceptive lol

This is. A bit heavy but the main thing he notices that others don't is when I get sensory overload or an anxiety attack in public, he takes me aside and helps me to calm down or he'll take me away from whatever's causing the anxiety/overload so I can calm myself down

As far as less intense things go he's also noticed how much I like to collect things! I have a few different collections, novelty baseball caps and buttons and shovelware or just weird ds games and that sort of thing, and he'll get me stuff he sees that he thinks I'll like! (Though I always tell him to wait until the hats are on sale, those things are expensive)

#it is. harder to answer things abt myself lol;;; #but thank you for sending something this was fun!!!

[modx-reborn]

hellooooo horn knee thoughts abt simpbur time <33

imagine this fucker's reaction to you getting off in the shower. its like one of the only times im alone by myself consistently so just like. getting off there is easy lol

we ALL know he cameras there, fuckin creep. but something abt like, bringing in a toy nd using it in there all while he's watching is so fucking 🥴 to me. like, maybe you KNOW abt there cameras in there and don't give two shits. so ur just. putting on a show there intentionally bc his reaction is gonna be so desperate lets be honest.

BRUHHH he totally steals the fuckin toy you used and uses it to get off while ur out grocery shopping or something. horny fuck does it in your bed bc it smells like you, making sure to clean up after himself down to the atomic level bc he's never done something so bold before.

this has been simpbur thoughts w paradise <3

I got you, King, I got you.

You knew there were cameras all over the apartment, having had an electrition pull one after something broke in the kitchen, having rolled it around in your hands before telling them to put it back laughing that it was a security thing the last people had put in and that no one actually watched them despite having access, but you knew it wasn't. There was no doubt who had put them up and what they were for, but that would stay between you and the cameras.

That has led to what's happening right now, ever thankful that whoever lived here before that installed a bar in the shower that connects to your room, your hands holding on in a white-knuckled grip as you work yourself back onto the toy you had brought into the shower with you. Bucking your hips back into the full feeling and loving how the water hits your skin as you get yourself off, hanging your head and letting every noise you normally stifle flow freely knowing that those would be for you and you alone as your nasty roommate probably is watching you fuck yourself in the shower.

And oh how right you were, at his desk just barely able to keep his hands off himself is your roommate, unable to look away as he watches you cum. Now regretting not going for cameras that could pick up sound as well, having to let his mind create what you must sound like as he gets to watch you unravel pulling off your toy and falling to your knees in the shower, hands still holding onto the bar as you pant trying to recover.

Keeping his hands off himself becomes so much harder the longer he waits, holding off just long enough to hear you leave the apartment, a ping on his phone telling him you were heading off to go shopping asking if he needed anything, his mind half tempted to type out a 'you' in response but holding back enough to give a short answer about needing more tissues or something like that.

It was all of two seconds after seeing you reply that he was off, scampering into your room and into the bathroom you had just used, drinking in the smell of your soap in the damp air before snatching the very toy you had just used from your bathroom. Slinking off back to his room but stopping halfway, why take this and have you question where it went if he could use it right here? In your room surrounded by all your things and smelling so strongly of you.

His mind is made up, tossing the toy on your bed before going back to the bathroom, pulling your towel from the laundry hamper, still slightly damp but dry enough that he could lay it on your bed and keep himself from making a mess and have it cleaned without you knowing what he had done on it. The very actions he was planning were some of the boldest to date.

Not long after settling onto your bed are his pants off, face buried in one of your pillows breathing in the scent of you as he preps himself, using your lube to work himself open and chanting your name as his mind weaves images of it being your fingers in him making him work for more than just that. Soon he is on his knees toy held below him as he sinks down, letting the same silicone imitation fill him just as it had filled you, only for him this was so much more than getting off.

Each bounce on the toy has him calling your name, his own cock leaking and ignored as his hands are braced against your bed keeping him able to move, his mind fogged over with just how good it feels, how good it is to be surrounded by all your things as he finally moves to wrap a hand around himself. Using the motion of his hips to fuck his hand, not lasting long after the dual stimulation sets in, thanking his forethought as he cums, strips of white dripping past his fingers and onto the towel beneath him.

#a: whorekinq #c: simpbur #dsmp smut #mcyt smut #k: exhibitionism #k: toys #k: teasing #obsessive behavior #mxad #anon response

[izzy-b-hands]

So. I'm allowing myself a vent post or two abt Stuff in the Brain today that won't fuck off, but it'll all be under a cut if I feel I'm at risk of being too wordy so folks don't gotta see this if they don't wanna. And on this one I did get wordy, multi-paragraphs so. fair warning if u decide to be brave and read thru it lol

I'm behind on getting Mum a bday gift. Like two weeks behind. Partially bc money, partially bc the thing I really wanted to get her involves bidding on ebay and attempting to win a listing (and I just haven't managed it yet lmao), and partially bc like:

For once I've been living my life for me, thinking abt me and Housemate first and foremost, and focusing on what I actually want/need from day to day, and that means I'm away from my phone a bit more than usual, which means I've missed some calls and texts from Mum and just haven't been as Available via phone/apps/etc as I've been in the past

(including one time in the last week or so where Housemate and I stepped aside to the kitchen to make ourselves mac n cheese, and Mum was late to calling me for a planned call, so I figured I was safe to leave the phone by the couch while we cooked. Nope! In that less than half hour, 25 mins at most that it took us to finish mac and get plated up, she figured we'd both A. fallen down the stairs and were now dying from brain bleeds while the cats sniffed us in panic and fear B. decided to cut her out of my life forever and so now I wasn't going to be answering her calls (tho this point I didn't know until a much more recent text where she admitted to it and did say she was ashamed of feeling that way.) )

So I really need to get something out to her, either the chocolates I was planning on sending for her and the family from a local shop, the Snoopy Build-A-Bear plushie with a lil 'I miss you' tshirt and a voice thingy inside it with me telling her to remember that I love her and am always grateful for her help and care and things like that, whatever will fit lol (this is the fucker that triggered this whole train crash of a set of thoughts today lmao), and/or something from one of the ebay listings I've been trying to get (I just need to accept it and pay the buy it now price considering what the thing is isn't like. Uber rare? But apparently Bon Jovi doesn't have their figurines made any more, so they're a bit harder to find and I'm gonna risk not getting one at all if I don't just. do the dang thing lmao)

I'm thinking the Snoopy would be best/easiest for rn, but I keep getting stuck on what I'll say for the recording and it's so dumb but like:

I know, for the sake of both of us and the deeply grown and intertwined sort of emotionally incest-flavoured codependency Mum and I have, we probably should eventually try going NC or LC for at least like. a month or two in the future? Probably even a bit longer? Not as like a 'this is forever' thing (unless something would happen that would point to that as the best option for both of us), but just until we can maybe both heal a bit and work closer towards something even vaguely approaching a more normal mother/son relationship.

And the particular fear is very silly but like. I'd hate to say the things I have planned, that I mean (I do love her, and I know she does her best, and so I'm grateful for every bit and every sort of help she's ever given or will ever give me), and then we someday go NC or LC, and she's hurt by having the plush and audio around as a reminder of how things were before. I could see her throwing it away in a fit, and then being so sad and begging for a new one by the next day. And I'd want to get her one. I don't know if that's right of me or not.

Like, the trauma has me Entirely overthinking this and I know it's ridiculous, you know? But still. Got the Build-A-Bear tab open on my phone bc the chocolate is at least partially to be shared, so that's Not Enough as a partial belated bday gift; and I'd like to hit another paycheck (or part of it, since the uni rarely puts the full fucking direct deposit in on scheduled payday lmao) before I try for the Bon Jovi figurine (and hope it isn't bought before that point.) So the plush is really the best choice, and I don't want to wait any longer to send anything out bc like. Her bday was at the beginning of March, this is fucking ridiculous of me and not how I like handling gifts at all, for anyone!!

Fingers crossed I just. Get the fucking recording done, get it ordered and have them send it out to her, and that'll be enough until I can get my hands on a figurine and/or order the chocolates and candies for her, her bf, and to share with the rest of the family.

#text post #spotify decided to play Con singing La Vie En Rose while I typed this and I always cry during that so between that and the topic here #im more of a mess than i want to be (worth it tho to hear Con's voice) #Im still banking on having spoons for convos later today #so i do appreciate y'all bearing with me on that and am sending u all hugs for it #maybe time to dip into the drafts and hope my brain settles on thinking abt blorbos instead of. All This #tw codependency #I just mention it between me and mum but. tagging to b safe

[meruz]

once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train

like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.

AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??

Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 

(ominous preview)

These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS

a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?

I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL

A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.

b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~

c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?

@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 

I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.

d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?

god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.

But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.

My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.

e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?

@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.

f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?

Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...

I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.

If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.

Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.

Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.

Some more general art questions

a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?

I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.

1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.

2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.

Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.

oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!

b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?

Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.

If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 

Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.

I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.

for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ

For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.

(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)

a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!

b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL

c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)

a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....

e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)

#ask #trying this new thing where i tag people in the body of the post instead

[artificialqueens]

By Your Side (Biadore) - Candy Cane

A/N: just a oneshot based off of a prompt sent in that asked for bianca finding out abt adore’s onlyfans! its not quite that tbh but the words take me where they want to go lol please enjoy!! <3 theres some other things ive been trying to work on but its slow going rn as my cat is very sick and a lot of my time and energy has been dedicated to him, but i hope to get more out soon!

It’s only been a few months into quarantine when Adore finds herself on the phone with one of her oldest friends. Like, old physically not old as in how long they’ve known each other. But to be fair, there aren’t a ton of people she’s been friends with longer than she’s been friends with Bianca. Courtney and Darienne too for that matter.

She loves Bianca. Their friendship is something precious to her, and surprisingly this is only the second phone call they’ve had since quarantine has started. They talk basically every day through texts, and that’s on top of the hours they spend going back and forth in the ABCD group chat with Courtney and Darienne. The four of them have something special, all of them realize that. There’s just something specifically between her and Bianca that Adore’s never really been able to place her finger on.

Out of the blue this morning Bianca simply… called her. Adore spends a full moment staring at the CallerID trying to figure out where the fuck this is coming from. With an uncertain frown, she answers the phone, hanging upside down off the side of her bed of course.

“So… OnlyFans? Seriously?” Bianca asks incredulously, her voice crackling over the phone speaker.

What a way to start a conversation after not hearing each other’s voices for like a month! Even though Adore can’t see her face, she can practically hear the raised eyebrow.

“Fuck you,” Adore laughs, unable to help smiling at Bianca’s playful accusations.

“Not that I’m mad, but why fucking OnlyFans? Aren’t bitches doing podcasts now?”

“I’m bored, okay? There’s not a lot to do but drink and masturbate, and drinking hasn’t really been doing it for me lately. Plus, I gotta make money somehow,” Adore grumbles through an explanation, lifting herself up and sprawling out on her bed awkwardly.

“Do I need to set up an intervention? You know I will,” Bianca says with faux seriousness, “Seriously though, if you need some help…”

Adore frowns down at her phone. She hates pity, she hates unnecessary worry, and she definitely hates burdening people with her bullshit.

“B, I’m fine, I promise,” she says earnestly, “I guess I just… I miss you. A lot. And we can’t see each other right now and it fucking sucks and I’m really lonely-”

“Come over.”

“What? I can’t, B, we’re quarantined…”

“When’s the last time you left your apartment?”

“Uhh, I dunno, maybe a month ago?’ Adore answers, unsure of where Bianca is going with this.

“Okay, that’s well over two weeks. Come hang out with me for a few days, get some human interaction, I’ve been needing it myself. I haven’t gone out or seen anyone for a few weeks now,” Bianca admits, and Adore feels suddenly giddy.

It’s been so long since she’s seen someone, since she’s even gotten a hug, and she really wants to see Bianca…

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning,” Adore agrees, not even thinking twice about it.

Bianca is everything to her. This person was one of the first to really take her seriously, to really see something in her, and Adore doesn’t know where she’d be without her. Every time something goes wrong, her first instinct is to call Bianca. Everytime something amazing happens, her first instinct is to call Bianca. They’ll spend hours talking or texting just because and Adore wouldn’t have it any other way.

They are as good together as PB&J, or peanut butter and celery, or peanut butter and pretzels… And Adore realizes she is feeling very snacky, specifically for peanut butter. With a sigh she rolls off her bed to get a snack before she starts packing for the next week.

The point is Adore loves Bianca, and Danny loves Roy. Sure maybe it’s in a different way than they should, or even once did, but it can’t be helped. It can be hidden, though. And Danny is more than fine with hiding this secret, as long as they get to have Roy in their life at all. He’s more than what Danny should ever even hope for, and yet a part of them can’t help but hope.

After spending so much time apart, Danny knows it’ll be harder now than ever to hide these feelings they’ve been harboring for Roy. They’ll try though, because sometimes the thought of this man loving them back is all that keeps them going.

Danny arrives at Roy’s beautiful new house in Palm Springs at nearly noon the next day. Which, to be fair, is very much the morning for Danny. They even woke up early to make the trip! …If ten a.m. counts as early in any book except their own.

Roy is already standing out in the driveway waiting for Danny when they get there, his arms spread wide for a hug the second Danny gets out of their car. The younger practically rocket launches themself into his arms, clinging tight to him as they savor the first hug they’ve gotten in such a long fucking time. Danny can’t help the tears that fall at finally having such warm, loving human contact, especially from this person.

They hold onto each other as tight as they can, each beyond glad to have each other’s trust in such unreliable times. Being alone for so long had hit Roy hard too. Alcohol and binge watching can really only do so much, and he’s genuinely been feeling lonely being stuck in one spot for so long. The dogs help some, but at the end of the day it really doesn’t replace human interaction, no matter how hard he wishes it did.

“I missed you, baby girl,” Roy says, and Danny can almost hear his voice waver.

“I missed you too,” Danny whispers, trying and failing to hold back a sob.

They leave Danny’s bag in the car for now, much more eager to go sit down and enjoy each other’s company. The dogs bombard the two of them the second Danny crosses the threshold, the enby leaning instantly down to kiss and coo at the babies and Roy can’t help grinning widely at the sight. He loves his babies, and he loves his baby girl.

They spend the afternoon talking and laughing and playing with the dogs. Danny clearly gets some ideas about the golf cart, and Roy is suddenly excited about the upcoming few days. It’s been a while since either of them have really had something to look forward to.

“Alright, I still need you to explain this OnlyFans thing to me,” Roy says with a smirk a few hours later, after they’ve gotten properly settled in on the couch together with the dogs.

Danny’s eyes go wide with slight panic, “Okay, grandpa, it’s like uhhh, Patreon but-”

“No, no, no!” Roy laughs, “I know what it is, I mean why that? Why not literally anything else?”

“First of all, I am sexy. Second of all, I spent a lot of time not making money masturbating, which is a fucking shame because as I said before I am sexy.”

They both crack up at that, giggling like idiots on Roy’s couch, the puppies quickly joining in, yipping at them to be a part of the excitement.

“Awww, do you two think I’m funny?” Danny coos, picking Dede up and cuddling the pup close, “Your daddy doesn’t think I’m funny!”

Roy snorts, “You’ve certainly picked up a thing or two from me.”

“Like how to be a bitter old hermit!” Danny grins sweetly.

“Exactly,” Roy laughs.

“So if I ask really nicely will this bitter old hermit make me food?” Danny asks, batting their eyelashes pleadingly.

“My original plan was to let you starve to death while you were here, but since you’re asking nicely…” Roy says teasingly, feeling an odd sense of satisfaction at the way the younger throws their head back with laughter.

Late that night, after a long night of talking and watching TV and a decent dinner, they curl up into bed together. At one point they both needed to at least be tipsy to do that, but nowadays that’s just overkill. They have progressed well beyond that point of friendship, though Roy sometimes still likes to put on a show of being annoyed, if only because of the way Danny pouts and rolls their eyes.

Tonight he just holds the thick comforter up so Danny can slide in easily with him, he’s not really interested in making either of them wait longer than they already have for cuddles. In seconds the two are holding each other tight, savoring the touch. As Roy lays there, holding Danny like the younger is his lifeline, he starts to think about the time they’ve known each other. All the ups, downs, and side-to-sides… Danny has grown up a lot over the years they’ve been friends, and it’s hard to deny that it’s changed Roy’s feelings for them.

Once his feelings to the younger were almost motherly, but now it’s closer to attraction. It’s kind of weird, at the least it’s very fucked up. Roy wants to just give in to the feelings, but he can’t. Not when he has no way of gaging Danny’s feelings for him. He can live with this secret, he’s not sure he can live without Danny’s friendship.

Danny interrupts his thoughts, their voice small and curious, “Why were you so invested in my OnlyFans?”

“Bitch, I’m trying to sleep here,” Roy groans.

“No, seriously,” Danny pouts, sitting up in bed and looking down at Roy. The moonlight streaming in from the window highlights the enby perfectly, and Roy curses his luck.

“I don’t want you renting yourself out on the corner like Bunny, now get back to sleep you dumb slut,” Roy says with all of his usual teasing heat.

Danny pouts though, clearly not satisfied, “But…”

“Sleep. Now.” Roy demands, reaching up to tug them back under the covers. Danny reluctantly gives in, and snuggles close to Roy.

Just as Roy is about to fall asleep, Danny’s voice has his eyes flying open.

“Roy?”

“What?”

“I love you,” Danny whispers.

Roy’s heart melts a little at that, “I love you too, Danny.”

Danny bites their lip nervously, “I mean like… I think…”

Roy’s heart starts to beat faster in his chest. Surely they couldn’t mean…

“You think…?” Roy asks, hoping that despite it all this person is about to say what he thinks they are.

“I think I might be… in love,” Danny says, their voice quiet and timid in a way Roy hasn’t heard in a very long time, “With you.”

This time Roy is the one to sit up in bed, staring down at Danny with pure infatuation. Those words echo around his ears, his chest, his very soul, and before he even realizes what he’s doing he’s leaning down to capture Danny’s lips in a kiss.

His lips against theirs feels so undeniably right. Their lips move slowly against each other, Danny brings a hand around to cup the back of Roy’s neck and in that moment nothing is wrong in their own little world. In that moment it’s just them and the moonlight. He thinks that he could live forever in this moment and never need anything else.

They break apart much too soon for either of their tastes, and Roy stares into those pretty eyes and murmurs, “I think I love you too.”

Danny surges forward for another kiss, this one much more desperate than the last. It’s a hot, heavy kiss that ends with Roy flat against the bed and both of Danny’s hands cupping his face as they explore each other. It’s like no kiss either of them have had before, with so many years of emotion and uncertainty between them it’s intense. Bianca and Adore have drunkenly kissed before, but this absolutely cannot compare. Danny whimpers pathetically against Roy, their hips grinding down against Roy’s thigh.

Roy lets out a shaky breath and grips at the enby’s barely covered ass. From the way Danny is squirming and moaning after only a little contact, Roy knows it’s been a while since Danny has been with someone like this. Roy hasn’t been able to get laid in a while either, rendering them both more than eager for this. Neither of them have a sexual partner in their circles right now, except maybe each other. Just this morning that would’ve been an absurd thought, and now it’s simply what makes sense.

Both of them need sexual fulfillment as much as they need emotional fulfillment, and even the thought of providing it for each other is thrilling. Roy grabs Danny’s bottom lip roughly between his teeth, sucking on it as he rubs his hands underneath Danny’s oversized tank top and over their skin. Danny whines and whimpers so deliciously in response, and Roy loves it.

Roy and Danny pull the little clothing that is off one another, each soaking in the familiar sight of the other being completely exposed. It’s nowhere near the first time they’ve seen each other like this, but it’s another one of those things where it’s simply different this time around. Because now it’s been established they love each other as much more than just friends.

Danny sucks hickeys along Roy’s collarbone, moaning roughly as Roy twists their nipples harshly, their bodies so close and warm wrapped up tight together.

“Think… Think I’m gonna get my nipples pierced,” Danny giggles breathlessly before it’s cut off in a moan of sheer pleasure when Roy pinches them even harder.

“Oh really? You’ve done a lot of slutty things, baby girl, but that is definitely up there,” Roy smirks.

Danny smiles innocently, “It would only make your job easier.”

“What? This job?” Roy asks teasingly, then trails his fingers down Danny’s stomach so they ghost over the enby’s half-hard cock.

Danny gasps, and Roy takes the opportunity to press his lips against theirs all over again, sucking their tongue into his mouth as he teases their cock. They moan and whine and squirm, their fingers gripping and squeezing at the flesh of Roy’s back frantically in response. Roy knows that that’s going to leave a mark, despite the fact that their nails are usually kept short. He doesn’t mind though, in fact it makes him harder knowing that he’s the reason Danny is reacting like this.

Danny’s head falls back against the pillow, feeling heat rush to their cheeks upon seeing the smouldering look in Roy’s eyes as they stare up at him. He’s so fucking gorgeous, all his sharpness and softness in just the right places.

“Tell me what you want,” Roy whispers roughly.

Danny inhales shakily, “Want- Wanna feel you-”

“What do you want me to do to you, Danny? Use your words…”

“Fuck me, oh God please just fuck me, holy shit,” Danny begs, squeezing their eyes shut tight and squirming underneath Roy’s tight hold.

“Shh, that’s so good, thank you,” Roy murmurs, caressing Danny’s cheek, “I’m going to fuck you so hard.”

And Danny just moans. They’ve wanted this from Roy for so long, and so many years were wasted convincing themself otherwise that this really feels like a fucking dream come true. It’s their own little fairytale, just for the two of them. Danny gets to live this fantasy with Roy, and that thought alone is almost more mind blowing than the idea of getting rammed until they can’t remember their own name.

Roy leans across to riffle through the nightstand, and turns back to Danny with lube, a condom, and a devious grin on his face. Minutes later, Danny is a whimpering, begging mess just from two of Roy’s fingers stretching them open. Roy is clearly enjoying it, whispering dirty things in their ear as he slowly tortures them with his fingers. When he slides in a third finger, Danny lets out the filthiest, most inhuman sound Roy has ever heard.

“You are just so fucking needy,” Roy says lowly, pulling out his fingers and quickly rolling the condom on.

Danny nods feverently, their eager words of agreement being almost incomprehensible. Roy grabs their tiny hips in his large hands and slides himself in. That moment is almost pure magic, the connection that had been simmering for so many years finally coming to a boil. Danny sobs from the mix of emotion and sheer pleasure, throwing their head back and forth, panting and begging for more while Roy closes his eyes and takes it all in.

Danny is incredibly warm and tight around him, and after a minute he begins to thrust shallowly, making Danny’s mindless babbling slur together. His thrusts quickly become harsher, aiming specifically for Danny’s spot, his grip on them tightens and he grabs the enby’s cock and starts to lavish it with some much needed attention.

“OhGodohGodohGodoh-” Danny rambles, pressing their face into the juncture of Roy’s neck and collarbone, inhaling his comforting, familiar scent, “So good, feels so good, don’t stop please don’t stop.”

“I’m not going to stop, shh, I’ve got you, fuck you’re so good,” Roy groans in response, his thrusts speeding up and his fingers around Danny’s cock tightening, “Are you about to cum for me? Huh?”

“Yes, fuck,” Danny rasps, “Yes yes gonna cum Roy please let me cum I’m gonna- gonna-”

Roy pumps his hand a few more times and whispers right in Danny’s ear, “Cum for me like a good girl.”

And Danny is a gonner. They moan high and long, their hips twitch rapidly and their whole body shakes with the force of their orgasm, ropes of cum covering Roy’s hand and both of their abdomens.

Danny practically goes limp in Roy’s hold, and just a few thrusts later Roy is undone as well, unable to help thrusting even harder and deeper into Danny’s body as he does. He falls on top of Danny, breathing heavy and ragged, and they hold each other tight. Danny’s arms still wrapped around Roy’s back when he carefully rolls them onto their sides so that they’re facing each other, nearly nose to nose. He gingerly pulls out of Danny, ties the condom, and throws it into the bin that he knows is next to the bed.

Roy cups their chin with his clean hand and stares into their dazed, half-lidded eyes. Danny blinks slowly, the afterglow beginning to wear off.

“I can’t believe it took us seven years,” Danny murmurs, reaching up to thread their fingers through Roy’s currently long hair.

“It was worth the wait,” Roy smiles softly, “And now we have the rest of our lives.”

“Yeah,” Danny whispers, “I get the rest of my life with you.”

Because for Roy and Danny it’s nowhere near over. For them it’s all only just begun.

#rpdr fanfiction #adore delano #bianca del rio #biadore #fluff #smut #canon compliant #by your side #candy cane #tw quarantine #concrit welcome

[belphegorbillickin]

Honestly, I love Mammon but I'm sick of his sweetness. I see him EVERYWHERE, and it's like the others don't exist. I like it when characters lose their calm you know? Esp that time when we reject Satan's pact, I really liked how he got worked up over such a thing lmao. And of course, most of the ones who tried killing mc had stupid reasons, except for Lucifer imo, but since when did demons make sense?

Alright, sure, they can still be sweet, but imagine if they ACTUALLY were dark characters. Corrupting human souls, selfish desires, blah blah. I'm not saying they can't love mc, ofc they can be sweet and lovable, but that doesn't mean they'd lose their normal habits and quirks. You cannot differentiate between them and normal humans now. The traits that would portray them as demons isn't there.

And perhaps yes, routes would've been fun. Right/wrong answers? Seems legit lmao. But like you said, the characters could've been done so much better.

I liked them at the start, now that I think of it asmo was never really what he seemed to be at the start, but in the recent events to me, at least, he's all but that. Diavolo, Barbatos, they have potential to be dark characters lmao. Asmo too, esp abt Helene, he sure was manipulative. Seeing Satan just be about cats/books upsets me bcuz he's one of my favs, and like you said, I feel he could've been a MUCH better character, plus idk he seems like he could be dark too. Other than beel & mammon, and I really don't know about belphie since he's become pretty sweet now, I feel everyone else could be written as characters with darker, more fitting demon personalities.

Though I love how we can go on about one topic for ages lmao. Lmk if my rambles become too annoying lol – 🍹

Don't worry about it, I really enjoy talking about it and I'm the queen of rambling lol. It's actually kinda hard for me to be concise when it comes to things like this.

And yes! Satan's reaction to rejection was exactly what I was thinking about when I mentioned that. I don't doubt most of the others would've reacted the same either tbh, but the difference between his reason for wanting to kill MC and his brothers' felt very different imo.

I'm kinda repeating myself, but I think people really overlook how cold Asmo was regarding getting MC killed. In that sense I can see how they get along with each other so well. I think I huge part of that is people coming in knowing that they're all gonna love MC and MC can't die so they don't even think about threats or subtle manipulation, but he's one of the most malicious imo since it was so cool-headed and planned.

Kind of like the theories about Barbatos and/or Diavolo purposefully sending you to a traumatic death because executing Belphie would cause the brothers to revolt. (Which I believe to extent btw.) Those four stand out as a lot more demonic imo because they can't be called crimes of passion. I miss the days where they both just casually admitted to taking part in a torture dungeon.

Personally I love the idea of unavoidable demonic corruption. Like the "tragic lovers suffering from fate" trope but where the demon isn't just an innocent victim that can't control it at all and MC doesn't just take it happily without consequences.

I'm not against MC suffering the consequences of a demon boyfriend, far from it, but even if you don't go the direct route there's so many ways to do it.

Even just slowly losing your morals because all the demons (and old-ass human with some most likely odd moral quirks, if only from being alive so long in horrible times) around you treat horrible things as something as mundane as breathing. Even if they snap back at least acknowledging it is a huge step up.

I'd be terrified and paranoid 24/7 knowing everyone around me wants to literally eat me and has eaten humans before. Even if they hated the taste or something knowing they're capable of it is scary af.

Like a Beelzebub who truly doesn't mean to hurt MC but doesn't think twice about breaking their beloved pet's bones right in front of them. A Beelzebub that finds it just as hard to avoid eating humans as he did in the intro even when he knows he shouldn't harm MC's family.

Or even just a Beelzebub so wracked by guilt and light on morals that can't bring himself to not always enthusiastically take Belphie's side even when he knows it's hurting MC. A kind of parasitic relationship where Beel guilts MC into staying and helps Belphie trap & manipulate them in ways Belphie could never do by himself.

A Leviathan that finds it increasingly hard to keep his jealously inwards now that he has someone to fight for and can't feel secure unless he can feel their envy. A Belphegor that slowly manipulates MC into abandoning all of their responsibilities and friends until their life is ruined and they have to depend on him.

I get that some of them are a bit harder to do without reminding people of irl abuse they may have faced, namely Satan, Levi, Lucifer, and ofc Asmo, but there are ways to make it more supernatural and less mundane. Besides there are way, way worse otomes out there that don't even market themselves as dark like Obey Me did.

I find it interesting that so much of the fanbase absolutely hates those kind of themes when they're so hard to avoid in otome and it was kind marketed towards people who like it. Like I genuinely wonder how they heard about it and got through demons insulting & trying to kill them in the early days of Obey Me before you knew they got better.

In the end though none of that can really happen without routes imo. Those kind of storylines can't be done well in the 10 seconds of individual interaction we get, even a whole lesson is too little time. And again even people who like darker things might freak out when Asmo's the one doing it or get turned off by Levi so they won't risk their money. It's so frustrating seeing the lost potential and knowing it's probably never gonna happen.

Speaking of I always thought Mammon was pretty robbed too. Not only did he never have the same freedom to harm MC as the others, but he was also directly responsible for their safety. Like sure they'd all be punished, but you have a different mindset when an authority figure constantly makes you aware and you have more chances to bond.

I think even cannon Mammon would've been more dangerous and a lot more rude if he wasn't their babysitter. The others, except Satan & Belphie ofc, probably would've been "nicer" and more controlled knowing Lucifer was breathing down their neck too imo.

Like he does seem less violent and hot-headed than the others, but they're not the same circumstances. Even a while after the pact he'd probably sell MC in an instant if he knew he wasn't going to be severely punished.

A lot of his possessiveness feels like a dog guarding a bone rather than true jealously imo, even when they're doing it as endearing thing. People automatically assuming he was lying when he said he'd rather MC die than be saved by someone else, but was he really at that point? Just because someone is tsundere at times doesn't mean they're incapable of being honest or not that into someone.

That's also kinda what I meant by infatuation too. Like sure they could like a human, but that doesn't mean they'll be that upset when they die or will never get bored. It's kind of like those people that immediately get a new pet after theirs dies, or even before so they don't have to be without a dog for a single second. Or the kind of demon that wants to "ruin" you with their sin until you can't go on as the ultimate act of love, even though they know it'll kill you.

#asks #personal

[iraprince]

Hey your comics really do give some great management tips, I was wondering what advice do you have when you are mentally holding yourself hostage for drawing fun doodles and fanart instead of working on actual work? I would like to get stuff done but I really want to finish this drawing and then I get stuck in the middle and I don’t do either

oh, man, i wish i had more advice but this is one of my biggest struggles myself. i haven’t had a lot of luck with anything i’ve tried. (if i set a timer to say “ok 20 more minutes of [fun thing] and then we switch tasks” i end up ignoring the timer, sitting down and just trying to force/bully the work out of myself p much never works and just burns me out and makes me feel like shit, etc...) and i def experience a version of what u described where if i tell myself “you can’t do [fun thing] until you do [boring, important thing],” that doesn’t make the boring thing any easier to start on, so i just end up doing nothing all day AND feeling guilty and crappy about it, so. oof.

what i can say, even tho i don’t have a real answer, is being mean to myself about this shit never, ever works and never helps me. i don’t know WHAT the solution is, i just know it isn’t beating myself up. get curious with yourself, try to ask urself questions abt what makes tasks harder for u vs what makes them easier, and above all be as patient w yourself as u can muster even when u don’t feel like it -- that’s been what’s gotten me to other breakthroughs and helpful realizations, so maybe you’ll figure something out. (and if u do please share, im dying over here lol)

[icharchivist]

cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)

and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)

anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)

also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)

that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)

to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)

anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)

now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)

some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)

i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!

OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c

tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.

I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.

The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.

On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)

ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c

So glad you were invested in that conflict!

Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.

But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.

both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.

admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event

i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!

It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself

I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.

Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?

The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.

And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.

I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!

And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.

Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.

So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.

Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.

So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.

ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!

DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....

AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?

The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?

but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D

oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)

DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha

And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.

thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c

Take care!

#ichareply #ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty