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#it can make you lose all motivation in life
dr3amofagame · 1 day
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i feel like ,,, like we talk a lot about how fear-motivated c!dream's actions are, yeah, because you know c!dream is consistently paranoid as fuck and So Much of why he's like that is because he's too scared to think straight and doing batshit insane shit as a result, but at the same time i think that his ... awareness? of this? can be vastly overestimated. c!dream doesn't like being afraid. c!dream is historically Really Fucking Bad at admitting or acknowledging when he's actually terrified of a situation, because that means he's lost control of it. if he's Worried about a situation he's still ahead of it, if he's Cautious or making preparations or getting things in line to make sure that those closest to him don't get in the line of fire he's still retained a degree of control, but all of that isn't quite the same as admitting he's doing anything because he's scared out of his mind, because scared out of his mind isn't exactly a state that c!dream likes to be in.
and this is why c!dream is so adamant on transactional relationships with anyone that he perceives as having a modicum of real power, because being useful to powerful people makes him less of a target because they need something from him. this is why he is so desperate to convince himself that he's on top when it comes to sam, when it comes to quackity, when it comes to wilbur, and he's saying all of this hidden inside his own hell after hiding there for months having barely confronted c!quackity before getting the hell out of dodge. this is why he scrambles to make sure to show that he's not indebted to technoblade and why he puts himself in foolish's service within minutes of meeting him and why a fucking feeling of power against an unarmed man he could've locked in a box with him with a press of a button was enough to get him to shut up and obey no matter how damn unsubstantiated that feeling ended up being because he couldn't bear to lose it, even just within his own head
and so you know, when c!dream calls c!tommy the one thing out of his control as a motivation for exile during the same time he had to fight off multiple coups explicitly with the desire to do away with him so that theyd be able to "rule the server," like. look. c!dream is just so fucking far from a reliable narrator. i'm sure he could give me an itemized list of how c!tommy has ruined his life, i'm sure he can say all these things about how c!tommy causes chaos and causes problems and doesn't listen to anyone, i'm sure he can go on and on and on about how it'd be a different story if c!tommy just listened to him for once. but let's be real, here--as much as he's convinced himself that he's trying to get control of the one thing out of his control, what's closer to reality is that c!tommy was the one thing he did feel like he could control (hello, the discs) when literally everything else wasn't
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starnightlover · 3 days
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Hi. Sorry, I just really feel like complaining. Obviously you can ignore this, I just have nowhere else to word vomit lol. I've been trying to shift since 2019. I've gotten into the void state for like 20 seconds but got too freaked out/excited and lost stability before I could manifest or shift anywhere. I feel like I'm going crazy. I've done the whole thing of pasting sticky notes with affirmations all over my apartment, had meditated for an hour or more a day for weeks at a time, listened to subliminals 24/7 and obvious tried all the classic methods like the raven method, julia method, etc, etc. I've had multiple lucid dreams where I tried to make portals and I've even had a lucid dream (or I guess I shifted) where I saw a "centre" for shifting with a bunch of islands and floating petals that we used as transportation between islands. I got a whole tour by some guide and he showed me other lives I'm currently living. That was like a year ago, and I haven't manifested anything significant or went anywhere since then. I'm going through a really tough time right now. I wouldn't have gone on like this if I didn't believe in it, but I'm just feeling really beaten down. I'm exhausted and frustrated.
Hi lovely, I'm so sorry you feel this way.
It’s understandable. But remember all the lucid dreams you’ve had and the void states that you’ve been in. They’re a reflection of your ability for shifting. You’ve been incredibly close before, and your subconscious mind is capable of doing so. You can take a break if you want, because shifting requires a healthy amount of persistence. Just remember that no matter how long of a break you have, you’ve come really far already. The void state is one step away from shifting. And don’t forget your lucid dream, where you basically saw your ability to change realities. Don’t take my word for granted. Just think about it. You can do it, you do have the abilities, all you have to do is keep going. You can take a small break if you want to rest, but don’t let yourself lose all your progress. Stay determined, stay motivated, don’t lose your abilities. You can do this!!
You’ve come so far, and you’ve been in the final stages. Don’t think about how it’s been years without a single shift. It’s been years where you’ve learned techniques, you’ve learned about yourself, you’ve honed in your shifting abilities. Just because you haven’t shifted in years doesn’t mean you’ve made no progress. This is just the next step in your shifting journey. Go forward. Take that step. Shift like nothing’s stopping you. You’re so close. You’ve had enough time to think about it. You’ve been here, wanting to get to your desired reality for all this time. You haven’t given up on it yet. You’ve kept coming back hoping, trying, dreaming, wanting to shift to the reality you want and finally be with your hard work! Why would you stop now? You owe it to yourself to keep trying. Don’t give up, because it has always been your dream to shift.
Your determination, drive, motivation, and dedication to shifting is so praiseworthy. It's been years since you started this journey, and you haven't given up! You've persisted for this long and you've gotten close so many times, it's almost impossible for you to not have enough abilities to shift realities. Remember all the things you've seen and experienced while trying to shift realities, all the things you've gone through and the efforts of hard work that you've put into shifting realities. Don't give up now. You just have to keep going. You can do it, I believe in you!
Keep going. Don’t stop now.
I mean, just think about it: you possess this incredible power within you to shape your own existence. You're not just a passive observer in the grand theater of life; you're the playwright, the director, and the star actor all rolled into one.
You see, the universe is like this vast, infinite canvas, and you? You're the artist putting forth the brush. Every thought, every belief, every intention you hold is like a stroke on that canvas.
Now, here's the kicker: you have the ability to shift to any reality you choose. It's not some distant, unattainable dream—it's within your awareness right here, right now. Reality-shifting isn't this Herculean task reserved for a select few; it's as easy as changing your mind.
You are the god of your reality, lovely!!! You have the power to shift!!! It's not about waiting for the stars to align or some external force to swoop in and save the day. It's about realizing that the power you seek has been within you all along. So, embrace it. Own it. Know that you are the creator of your own destiny. And when doubts creep in or challenges arise, remember this: you are god, and reality-shifting is as easy as flipping the script. You've got this. After all, you are god.
And remember! You don't actually need specific methods to shift realities; it's about tapping into your innate power as a being that is pure consiousnious not attached to any body, mind, or reality! . Every moment, you're making choices that shift you to a different reality, and reality-shifting to your DR is just as easy! It's just bevomi b aware of it. While methods and techniques can be helpful tools, they're just that—tools! The real magic happens when you tap into your own inner wisdom and intuition, trusting yourself to allow the process to unfold organically. Embrace your innate creativity and intuition, and watch as your reality begins to shift in ways you never thought possible.
Now just remember my love, to keep on visualizing, keep on affirming, and most importantly keep persisting!!!! . And, be gentle with yourself along the way. Shifting may not happen overnight, but each step you take brings you closer to your DR. So hold onto hope, and know that your breakthrough is just around the corner.
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former-ly-darth · 2 years
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How do I get out of retail? It feels like a trap. It feels like once they’ve got their craws on you they pull and pull and pull you down so that you can never escape. How the fuck am I supposed to get out of here? I don’t have time to gain more experience from and unpaid internship. I don’t have time to complete any training for a skill-based job. I want out. I want out. I want out so fucking bad and it feels like there’s absolutely no way out.
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spacedlexi · 2 months
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Hi Lexi
What do you think of partially blinded Vi? You never seem to draw her that way, and I kind of just wanted to know what do you think of it as a certified Vi lover.
I personally think that while something like this can be "cool" (as in, being beneficial to the character design), it's handled quite poor for Vi and it just looks a bit... ungrateful. Simply doesn't look good, doesn't fit her personality or character (am I missing something?) and it doesn't seem to fit or suit her...unlike Kenny's iconic eyepatch. To me, it has become a pivotal thing in his design to a degree in which Kenny with both eyes seems a bit odd looking. I see it as a symbol which stands for Ken being a martyr and all he's lost and sacrificed. He is all about family and helping those he loved, his loved ones truly were the "apple of his eye". It all makes sense, doesn't it?
But for Vi, it's excatly the opposite. I'm just so sorry to see her like this. 😭😭😭 I don't think it makes sense in any way. Louis losing his tongue because he's so talkative and "won't shut up" does kind of make sense, but I cant help but see Violet losing sight as kind of lazy writing. "We need something bad happening to her!!! suffer the children!!!'- the writers exclaimed.
i think vi losing her eyesight is incredibly impactful on her character and i honestly dont understand why some people say its lazy writing. especially since it was foreshadowed multiple times. vi losing her eyesight i think is even more impactful on her character than louis losing his tongue because at least louis still has his music to express himself and uplift spirits through (and its not like he cant communicate At All. his note still makes clem laugh). the reason i dont draw blind vi very often is because of how sad it is to me. for multiple reasons
violets whole thing is wanting to be able to protect the people she cares about, and feels immense grief and guilt about the times she feels shes failed them (thinks if she had been there with the twins that day that she couldve done something to save them. feels she failed everyone taken by the raiders. is scared of failing clem too "if something happened to you because of me? i cant lose you too. i wont". its why she cant leave minnie after shooting her. and a kidnapped vi attacks clem because she doesnt want anyone else to get hurt. hell it even ties back to her grandma and feeling guilty about not doing anything for her)
so for her to lose her eyesight? she took pride in her ability to fight and now she cant do that anymore. cant protect the people she loves. and as someone who started the season as an isolated loner, it forces her to rely on those around her for help, stripping her of her independence (and her independence is what allowed her to stand up against the group for clem when it came to the marlon situation in ep2). a blinded vi is forced into accepting community, whereas a saved violet accepts it on her own. her and clem turn ericsons into the home violet could never see it as
the other reason blind vi makes me so sad is that it is Directly a result of clems actions. kidnapped vi had nothing and wanted nothing to do with the bomb, and yet shes the ONLY ONE who gets hurt by it. clem choosing to let vi be taken means clem both breaks her heart, and then burns out her eyes. louis and his tongue is between him and lilly and was a choice THEY each made outside of clems direct influence (even if it was clem who inspired him to speak up, it is ultimately his choice to keep talking, and lilly hurts him for it. its sad he gets punished for a character moment, but clem had no direct hand in him losing his tongue. its why hes not angry to see her in the cell. he doesnt blame clem for what happened), but the way vi is feeling in that cell is DIRECTLY due to clems actions. vi feels like clem abandoned her after she had put herself on the line for her multiple times. she always had clems back but clem didnt have hers. clem is the one who planted the bomb and vi gets caught in the blast. clem hurts her emotionally And physically. and vi apologizes for getting upset (she tries to apologize on the beach too before theyre forced out in the cart, so she felt wrong for those actions immediately even tho they were understandable. lilly and minnie used her moment of weakness to get in her head. she just wanted everyone to be safe)
kidnapped blinded vi is just so incredibly sad to me, especially when you compare her to a fully realized violet. a violet who has come into herself, has confidence, has opened up, has stopped pushing people away out of fear and lets herself love again. shes a leader. a fighter. a protector. and those are all things a blinded violet loses
neither vi losing her eyes or louis losing his tongue is supposed to add anything to their characters. its about what theyve lost. both of them have important parts of their identity stripped away from them after being taken by the delta. its supposed to be sad. heartbreaking. regrettable. unfortunate. they have not gained anything by their time at the delta, only lost important parts of themselves to it
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dramarants · 6 months
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Wanting more homoeroticism in the tension between the show’s leads as the narrative introduces greater intimacy and higher stakes between them, especially in a landscape that lacks queer representation who isn’t a villain or dies within one or two episodes, but also recognizing that core values/motivation for these characters lie in their relationships with one of two major female characters in an on screen sausage fest where the only other woman is a morally reprehensible femme fatale and erasing and/or vilifying female leads in favor of conventionally attractive males is a common practice observed in fandoms that’s rooted in misogyny and justified under the guise of rejecting heteronormativity, thinly veiled double standards, or claiming the woman is simply not interesting enough and not wanting to bolster that mindset
#the worst of evil#you know who’s not interesting enough? haeryeon!! bibi’s acting the hell out of her and slaying while doing it#but idk anything besides she’s willing to subvert her dad for dick and values money over everything else#and also she’s hot which is great for me!! but also the male gaze#and I also get it - we don’t know much about euijeong in her limited screen time besides her relationships to junmo/kicheol#but she is given so many traits that are silently conveyed like compassion and bravery and sacrifice#she brought a fucking gun to her date with kicheol like the conflicts and motivations here are SO JUICY#her exasperation guilt and despair with the investigation; esp after listening to the voicemails#what’s the self respecting thing to do; do I still love my husband if he loses himself; can I continue a game I never wanted to play#at the cost of my life or my family’s life?#even though a lot of her choices are for her marriage she’s using whatever agency she has in her own terms#kicheol works to be an honest man and make a difference partly bc of her#not trying to place the burden of fixing men on her but ignoring her impact in the boys’ lives is wild#ship whoever you want hate whoever you want but don’t deride a woman just cuz ‘she’s in the way’ ya know#all this being said; kicheol bringing junmo home after he RAMPAGED seemingly on his behalf - literally who else is doing it like them#the yearning all around - I get it now; we need gangster mob!throuple to get any shit done around here (and for all 3 to stay alive 🫣🙏)#but the reality next week is gonna be so so bitter
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nattousan · 1 year
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daincrediblegg · 2 months
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hi egg!!!! ive seen the tag a couple times now and im just so curious who is lady terror 👀 an oc? a ship personified? can i peer into your mind for a second (the answer here can also be Who's to say or just NO)
YES! Lady Terror (real name: Genevieve Sinclair) is my sortof self-insert (though she’s gained a bit more of a life of her own now) OC for the Terror. She and Francis as the most disenfranchised from british empirical thought and good society are falling horrifically in love with each other over the course of the expedition in spite of their respective past romantic rejections and dejections and it being the literal Worst Time To Do That. And I tag them when I am… reminded (I’m certain some think I do this too often… but it’s my house). I’m painfully (and soul crushingly at times) trying to get the canon novel for them written (though I have an excerpt of the first chapter in my masterlist in my pinned, should that be of interest), which intends to have the most insane gothic jane austen vibes one could hope for, and I have like 20 au’s for them including a particular western au that is gaining increasing real estate in my brain recently. Loads of content in the “egg’s oc’s” tag if you wanna take a peek (I say mostly bc I’m exclusively on mobile atm bc my computer is in the shop and linking over isn’t very easy😭) and I have some mini fics for them in my masterlist as well!
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craycraybluejay · 5 months
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i hate everyone i hate life i hate fucking everything just fucking when is it over when do i get to see everyone else hurt like i hurt when do i get to my permanent holiday off this nightmare train.
#vent post#iwantagun.txt#no one gives a shit about me or you or anyone motivation culture is a scam that wants to eat your wallet#they want you to FUCK them or they want you to BE THEIR STRESS BALL or they want you to be a STATUS SYMBOL or anything anything at all but#a person with their own needs and feelings and pain#you give and you give and you take so much shit thinking you can change the cards you were played#you can't.#what's the point of playing at civility and turning the other cheek and sucking up when none of it does anything but make you feel pathetic#the people with any power in your life are almost always Not You and they often don't particularly care what you need or want#they don't care about maintaining a social contract with you they don't care about honouring your work with any kindness or reward#because as long as they SAY that what you're doing will get them to be good to you you will work that angle in the hope of good#and then they can just go back on it and entrench you deeper and deeper into servitude#until you realize theres no point to it and they throw you another bone so you lose your rationale again#no one repays their FUCKING debts. no one is charitable. to you it is your life to everyone it is just a game#this is NOT a game#i am not obligated to take anyones fucking shit!!! die!!!!#if i dont off myself before i get the chance i am putting every fucker who so much as looked at me wrong in hell#jail. in deep with organized crime. permanently sick. i dont care. i just want to know that they hurt and hurt and hurt till they die#i want them to be afraid. in agony. throw them those bones they threw me just to yank them away again and again#they have to pay. im never going to make it but all i wish for is to be just influential enough to do to them what they did to me tenfold#PLEASE come throw a good hard punch at me so I have a good excuse to beat your ass half to death#PLEASE break into my house so I can knock you over the head with a crowbar#PLEASE give me reason to finally get a little of that vengeance. of course you deserve it i know you did something like that to someone#i know you refused to help a friend when they were broke and homeless. i know you manipulated an ex into sex. i know you looked down on#someone that just needed help. i know you ignored your kid when they were sick. i know you did something.#I'm sick? violent? mad? sure. but YOU are the acceptable evil that builds that festering rage#you are the good bad thing that keeps the wheels turning and the lowest rung down where you agree they ought to be#you have it a long time coming
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katamarigender · 1 year
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Really hope this is just my bad mood talking but I am REALLY not looking forwards to being back to work this weekkkkkkk.
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accelerandy15 · 1 year
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A WIP 💙
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Vents in the tags warning :)
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seventh-district · 11 months
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sometimes u just gotta sit uncomfortably on the floor of a dark room and listen to loud music while u hyperventilate and cry rlly hard. sometimes that’s just gonna be a thing that happens, u know. that’s life
#Seven.txt#Seven’s Public Diary#cw vent#cw vent post#vent post#and then ur apple watch will try to help by sending you a notif. letting u know that ur heart rate is way too high#like. yeah thanks dude that’ll really help me calm down right now! make sure it’s in bold font with a big red picture of a heart!#that’ll help!! that’s not making it worse at all!!!#joking aside i know those alerts r useful and helpful but at the same time. they sometimes just make the panic worse#it’s fine tho. i have Not Great heart health to begin with and Really Bad anxiety on top of that so i’m used to getting those warnings#come to think of it it is fairly concerning how easily my heart rate can go over 120bpm while i’m sitting still#that’s probably not good for my overall goal of staying alive. i should… do something about that#sighs heavily#today was going so well and then my father had to ruin it#or- well- maybe i’m just too sensitive and overreacting. hard to tell.#i’m gonna stay mad about it anyways cause i prefer anger over sadness and despair. at least anger is motivating.#i’m so fucking sick of trying to do things to please him or make him happy. he can fucking stay miserable for all i care anymore.#he is genuinely the most difficult person to be around that i have ever known. nothing pleases him. he’s so goddamn particular and critical#about everything and everybody that it’s just like… no wonder ur miserable my guy!!! u hate everything bc life isn’t the way it was in 1960!#if he insults my loaches and calls them nasty one more time i swear to god i’m gonna lose it#like no im not just gonna Get Rid Of Them motherfucker i’d sooner get rid of you. if you don’t like it don’t look at them!!!#im TRYING to set u up with a nice separate brand new 75gal setup and ur over here complaining about MY fish in MY tank???#and then get mad when i try to help u get the Exact fucking goldfish that u want and then get mad when i have the Audacity to Bother You#while ur watching ur precious clint eastwood movie bc the breeder needs confirmation of this order and i’m apparently#‘stressing you out’ asking ‘so many questions’ when literally the ONLY fucking thing i did was show you TWO PICTURES of the two fish that#YOU SAID YOU WANTED bc i wanted to make sure they’re exactly what you want before i confirm the order???#like bitch i am trying to do what you want but nothing is ever good enough for you!!! i’m so sick of this shit! this is why no one likes u!!#ooooooh my god i have to stop. i’m done. i’m DONE bitching about it. it’s over.#he told me to just leave him alone about it so i’ll do just that! i’m buying the fish that /i/ want for /my/ tank and his 75g can sit empty#for all i care. i ain’t buying him jack fucking shit if he’s gonna act like this about it. i’ve got better things to concern myself with.
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prettycottagequeer · 2 months
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ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)
SO these I should start on asap:
50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make
100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week
150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)
200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)
these can wait longer:
300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect
500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)
1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks
2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.
Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese
here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)
How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks
I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.
that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.
the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.
On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started
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nerdvi · 5 months
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In the wake of the whole james somerton fiasco and inspired by this post, I wanted to share a few of my um, soft signs, like, orange flags to detect when someone is bullshitting you.
First of all, I am on the spectrum which means 1) I tend to take what people say at face value and 2) I have a strong sense of justice which makes me prone to biases, all of which combined means I am at perpetual risk of swallowing the bullshit.
So, what to do about it? You turn on the critical thinking and pay attention.
As one of my favorite youtubers, Hannah Alonzo, likes to say: "consider the source, remember the motive". Who is talking to you?? What do you know about them?? What biases might they have?? How do they interact with your own biases?? Where are they talking from?? Is it anger?? happinness? boredom?? Also, why are they talking to you? Are they trying to sell you something?? Are they trying to convince you and why?? How do they go about the finantial motivation, if present? If you have, in this case, a white cis gay man talking to you as it he has it the worst of the worst in the world, there's probably some exaggeration and you should start to wonder. There's a good chance he's bullshitting you.
How they talk about women and POC No, no, stay with me. There's a rule I had back when I was dating men: Always beware of how they treat their mother. With the exception of extremes like mama's boys and cases of abuse, how a man treats the woman with whom they have that familial bond is a good indicator of how they are going to treat you. Do they berate her? speak ill of her? are aggressive or controlling? do they dismiss her opinions? Same with creators, and by god I tell you, specially cis male creators, queer or otherwise, always always beware of how they speak of women, how they treat women, how they treat POC. Somerton had a weird vendetta against straight women. It went mostly unnoticed. Then, he was dismissive towards lesbians and other queer women and it was once again overlooked. Then he went ahead and made sinophobic content about genres and cultures he knows NOTHING about. Again, it went unchecked. What I am telling you is IT'S NOT NORMAL. Contempt about women and non white-western cultures is not normal and if someone has them as them as an enemy or a scapegoat, they're probably bullshitting you. Take what they say and fact check it, see for yourself.
If at any point in a video or an essay you find yourself thinking "wait, really??" then it's time to fact check. Is it a bit suspicious?? is your logic telling you that's not quite how this works?? Then take to google, my friend, they might be bullshitting you. At worst, you dodge a fake fact, at best, you learn way too much about a topic you were already interested in.
Beware of the lack of nuance. I can not stress this enough. We all love monochrome, but life and societal issues are never black and white. It's just impossible, there's too many factors to consider. If you are being presented situations or anecdotes as absolute truths, you're probably being bullshitted. If it's too good to be true, it is. If it sounds waaay too convenient, it probably is. A good researcher, a serious investigator, will always have some nuance because they have done the work and checked the sources. If someone provides you 1) no nuance and 2) no sources, THEY'RE BULLSHITTING YOU.
These are the ones I can come up with just of the top of my head, I'm sure there's more and please, add them. Remember that naivité isn't a crime, I'm fairly naive and that's made me distrustful, and these are some of the techniques I've found that help me navigate through a world of information without losing myself.
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anantaru · 5 months
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GENSHIN + HOW LONG THEY LAST DURING NNN
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— ꒰ synopsis ꒱ — how long they last during no nut november
— ꒰ including ꒱ — childe, heizou, wriothesley, scaramouche, alhaitham, neuvillette
— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — fem! reader, oral (fem! receiving), petnames: baby, princess, darling, good girl, doggy style/prone bone, hitting it raw, pussy drunk genshin men & touch starved, very filthy & loads of cum, mean boys and teasing you a lil
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SHORTEST
— ꒰ CHILDE ꒱ + one hour
in the early stages of your plan, meaning when you first proposed the brilliant idea to childe to try out this little challenge and see how long you'd be able to make it work without being all over each other, you were confident that the two of you would at least make it till the two weeks mark— and much to your delightful surprise, the eleventh harbinger turned out to be quite motivated to prove not only you, but prove to himself that he can get through it.
fundamentally speaking and going from childe's point of view, crossing dangerous paths with a resilient fighter on a blood-thirsty battle field surely must be the same thing as resisting his darling princess day in and out— resist the urge to pin you against the mattress and fuck the living hell out of your body.
well, before moving forward to what had happened to be the worst hour of childe's entire life, so only a pure and simple hour into this, he catches the first glimpse of you in a dress as you walk towards the desk in your room, staring all dazedly over the bewitching garment that was framing your pretty figure just the right way and hugged you tight on just the best places.
alas, that's all it took your boyfriend to forget what no nut november was all about in the first place.
"ugh, you know what?" before you can even properly register it, childe had risen up from his seat to move closer to you, and under what felt like a split second, you could already smell his maddening fragrance, namely a costly perfume purchased from fontaine, crossing over your flaring nostrils as he greets you with a handsome, smirking face— so much more handsome than you have seen him before, it's like he really tried his best to get his way now.
the thought of the challenge died with the rasp of a groan scraping alongside your lips as he presses you between the furniture and his strong chest, initiatively making you sit on the wooden desk.
"you're fucking making me lose my mind, you know that?"
he hides the rich blush on his cheeks as he slants into your neck, the hint of teeth in the open-mouthed kisses on the thin skin turning you into a mere tremble, pouty lips breaching due to a faint mewl slithering past your tongue as you notice how one large palm slowly cups your clothed sex and rubs small circles on your little bolts of nerves.
you sigh deeply through your mouth before following the fragile breathes by a slow roll of your hips meeting his moving hand all scattered across your sensitivity, "we— we're about to lose the challenge, ajax," you whine out and try to reason, even though all you wanted was for him to just continue— the way you said it to him as well, sounding like you're trying to keep yourself from making it go any further yet at the same time, wrapping one arm around childe's neck to keep him secured against your quivering body at all costs.
"hm? what challenge?" the man feigns a sweet innocence with a smirk as you roll your eyes at him, "you're unbelievable," and shake your head with a smile as you let yourself lean into his blistering touch, the vibrations of his flaming trace on your cunt thrumming right into your complete bloodstream.
"well, yes," ajax whispers against the wet flesh of your neck— gratefully gathering your clothed pussy on his finger pads to play with your fluttering hole, eliciting a harsh sob of arousal from you.
"unbelievably sexy, you mean."
before he quickly pushes two fingers into the waistband of your panties to reach into your wet sex— exploding his hot digits over your wetness with a sudden snap of his fingers into your hole, a deep, guttural groan that nearly sent you into a daze buzzing into your ears.
fuck, you were just so adorable, so utterly alluring when you attempted to do the 'right' thing, miserably pushing through the challenge as good as you were able to, while also giving childe those dreamy and sweet doe-eyed glances through under your lashes when he freely roams his fingers through your slicked pussy, groaning into your neck when your hole spread so pretty for him, practically waiting to be taken.
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— ꒰ HEIZOU ꒱ + three days
it's almost infuriating with the way heizou was teasing you all calculated and especially throughout the complete next three days into the challenge you had proposed to him— without even giving you one try to catch your breath from him, how he deliberately made sure to always give you his bright, unnecessary insight on all the lewd fantasies he'd absolutely love to do right now.
although of course, sadly he couldn't!
until now at least, you see, your boyfriend heizou was a hypnotic, not to mention clever individual, and he made sure to tease you just enough, just right to have you practically twitching and pressing your thighs together as you're attempting to fall asleep next to him— his hot crotch brushing over the expanse of your ass when he pseudo-innocently leans into your neck, slowly sliding the tip of his tongue to tease the shell of your ear and listen to your quickened pulse.
"hmm, what's wrong?" heizou dares to ask you, and it's shameless when he idly hooks one hand around your hips to pull you deeper into his semi hardened erection, a breathless laugh falling from his pretty lips as he pretends like he didn't know that it was because of him and only him that you're in such sensitive state, unable to recollect yourself, catching how your ass was grinding back to place little, desperately movements on him— pressing into him much deeper and precise, your neglected and puffy folds sliding to the shape of his clothed cock now visible through his boxers as you messily soil the fabric, leaving behind a film of sheen whites.
heizou drawls at you, teasingly rocking into your heat which was fluttering around nothing at all, but wishing to just feel him instead— a constant longing to have his thick shaft roam freely through your walls and mark you through within with his warm cum oozing down your used hole.
"oh baby, my baby," he slurrs into your ear, "you're so wet, i thought you were a good girl, you know?" he continues in accessory to ruthlessly dragging the length of his dick across your weeping cunt sensually, the sudden twitch of your figure and a desperate mewl making him hiss out his hot breathing through clenched teeth.
"what do you want, princess? you gonna say it or not?"
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FAILED HALF-WAY THROUGH
— ꒰ WRIOTHESLEY ꒱ + one week
"wriothesley—ahh, please.." you babble out as wriothesley forces one of your thighs up to bend and rest against his shoulder, while now, opening you wider with a nudge at your other leg— the delicate scent of you was certainly much more penetrating now, and he easily rolls his tongue between your folds to collect your messy slick, dangerously tempted to just press his face off your cunt so he could fuck you like he means it, like he wanted to this entire week.
a deep moan slips past his lips as he frames his hot mouth over your aching clit, the deep vibrations of his noises nowhere near as powerful to him as they were to you as they continuously bounce off and course through your bloodstream.
you're practically riding his face and it's something wriothesley always needs you to do— until his rosy cheeks were stained in your warm arousal and his chin dripping of it, revealing desire curling in your lower stomach when he fucks his sloppy muscle into your hole and parts it effortlessly, forcing you memorize just how impossibly fine it felt to be pleasured by him, focused on the overstimulation he'd thrust into you.
"never doing this a-again," he groans, "fuckin' never,"
his dark hair falls over his eyes as he pushes his tongue back and forth your pussy— being so filthy to you and a hot mess when he collects your dribbling slick on the flat of his tongue before parting his mouth, letting it ooze down his bottom lip while he glances up through a hungry gaze, a mix of his spit and your arousal drooling onto your swollen clit before he digs his face back into you again.
your hole moulds after the shape of his pink muscle as the deepened coil in your stomach begins to tighten each time wriothesley would shake his head from left to right, suckling away your last hard spasms— your vision thoroughly blurred now, your thighs beginning to ache from the position wriothesley had you bend in as he places his hands on your ass to greedily squeeze and press you into his face.
he's so pussy drunk now— the soft tip of his tongue is kissing every part of your silken walls and you feel it become faster, parting your clenching hole to coax out every single orgasm you could give him.
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— ꒰ SCARAMOUCHE ꒱ + two weeks
as one might know, your boyfriend scaramouche had a habit of overestimating his strength in quite a few scenarios— and even after two weeks of consistently dodging every little possibility to touch and kiss that lovely body of yours, he thinks its cute how eager you were to make him fail.
on top of that, kuni was always pushing his own pleasure aside, meaning, before he would allow himself to cum, he'd have to make you climax at least two times— apart from that, what made him ultimately fail the challenge you placed on him was when you started to drown him in sudden praises, randomly add petnames to each sentence, forming them so slurred and sensual, whispering them against his ear shells before he couldn't take it anymore.
"f-fuck, that's what you wanted, huh?" scaramouche desperately tries to keep himself together, but how was he able to do this after two weeks of resisting you, his words now subdued in a whimper and his hips stuttering into your hole when your walls finally wrap around him again.
it was intoxicating to feel your body change whenever he fucked you, it's like someone really wanted him and it strengthened his ego— when he senses how your muscles were beginning to relax at the precise candid squelches of your warm pussy slobbering around his sensitive cock, your mouth parted as you rasp into his ear, dropping your head into his neck before kissing and nibbling down to his collarbone.
despite that, you were honestly surprised that you were able to resist your boyfriend in the first place— that realization coming to you now that he's back at pleasuring you, his hands squeezing at your tits before he thrusts into your plushy cunt, his rigid length throbbing inside of your sensitivity until your sensitivity was weeping, squeezing and oozing out slick as his hands clung bruisingly to your hips to move you on his shaft.
the voice in your ear was deep, rough with lust, "take it— that my fucking cock, fuck,"
scaramouche groans and was on the brink of crumbling into one million pieces, his eyes fluttering close as you moan shamelessly into his neck with his entire weight pressed into your chest. relentlessly fucking his twitching shaft into you until he's sure you're seeing stars, until scaramouche knows you're becoming addicted of his cock again and on how nice and good it felt whenever he split you pretty and open, another greedy rock of his hips making you tremble, but you're squeezing finer still— because he was simply irresistible.
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LONGEST
— ꒰ ALHAITHAM ꒱ + the entire month
“fuck love, fucking finally," alhaitham groans, for once, in a tone bathed in gravel and so shameless that it made you squeeze your hole around him as he fucks you hard, your face pressed into the soused pillows and your ass perked up high with the help of two strong palms keeping you up.
his hips repeatedly slam against yours in an animalistic pace, a feral perception that forced its way through your hole that it certainly knocked the hot air off your lungs— and aside from that, he's so impossibly thick and heavy in you that it's almost a little too difficult to keep him in, especially after going without sex for an entire month and taking him raw tonight.
to note, alhaitham was quite fond of foreplay and wouldn't just make you take him without preparation, but the two of you had been impossibly touch starved— and even after he tried to reason and tell you that, "you know it will hurt if i don't prep you," you urged him to just slide himself in, just tonight, and you cannot wait until you're burning from the thick cock stretching your pussy.
in truth, you're pretty much certain you won't even last this single round and from what you can tell from mannerism alone, you aren't even sure if alhaitham was able to get through this one either.
the grip on your hips was almost bruising, and your ass repeatedly bounces back and forth his cock as he rewards your pussy with the heavy spread of his dick coaxing out multiple squeezes from your hole— and alhaitham's hips stutter ever so often, even with all the filthy arousal dribbling down from your hole to all the way his base, the grip you continuously had on him making his mind grow in a haze, warmed by your body nestled underneath his bigger one.
"gonna cum— gonna make me cum," you whine into the pillows and without further warning, alhaitham leans his entire weight forward so you could swallow him as deeply as you could, your velvety pussy sucking mercilessly hard as he groans into your neck, your whines so deliciously loud from the new position— that not only made you tighter, but much more difficult to resist that his mind spins and clouds before him, repeatedly sinking his erection into the needy twist of your cunt, his thickly coated dick stretching you from behind.
fuck, this whole situation was so raw, so unrestrained, it drove you on, made you needier, made you redouble the efforts to take him deeper and better until he brushes over all the sweet spots in your cunt— and you hope for alhaitham to try and please you like that, to work his cock faster because he simply had to, especially after taking this challenge so fucking serious, knowingly teasing you about it and making you live without his perfectly shaped cock for over a month.
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— ꒰ NEUVILLETTE ꒱ + the entire month
no one, and i mean no one could ever make neuvillette go against an agreed upon rule— speaking of which, you proposed the idea to him and wanted to try it out, and as a response, the index agreed.
of course he agreed, neuvillette would agree to anything you'd ask him to do, yet for some reason you really believed he would go against something he promised you not to do— and to say it drove you absolutely crazy would be an understatement, the sudden missing of the way his calloused hands would worship your body and curves, placing wet kisses on your skin before spilling sweet nothing into your ears.
it's unfair on how easy he was able to do it while you were weeping and burning from inside and out— up until now, until one month passes.
you rock your hips into him when he presses you down with his hands squeezing the bouncy flesh of your ass, his cock digging deep inside of you with each fresh thrust of your cunt languidly rolling across his entire shaft. neuvillette watches you from underneath through precious eyes, and your breathing begins to stutter when you slant your body forward so your perked up nipples would brush over his chiseled chest.
"w-why did you go on for a month?" you ask out of breath, as well as shakily but curious, feeling his hands squeeze your ass before he rolls you over his length himself, your foreheads resting against each other, your puffy nipples rubbing across his chest and making you mindless in your ministrations with your lips parted and a sheen string of spit oozing along your chin.
"y—you, you wanted it," he drawls back and looks a little confused, "you— ugh, say something and i will fulfill your wish," neuvillette adds earnestly— and he's right, he always will be and that's when you’ve realized that he must be so fucking touch starved right now, it being utterly obvious when his back arches off the mattress to repeatedly rut his hips into your heat, your tits hurdling up and down and going hand in hand with every intoxicating slap of his hips into your neglected cunt, driving himself further.
his words were muffled against your pouted lips as he helps you bounce of his cock— the wet squelches of smack smack smack echoing through the humid room and adding fuel to the fire burning through your passionate desire.
neuvillette's hands greedily squeeze at the plush flesh— fuck, he missed kneading your ass and worshipping your behind just how you deserved it, grunting when you wiggle your hips to engulf him and relieve him of the desperation that built up throughout the entire month, his leaking cockhead grazing inside of your pulsing splotches, making his pace stutter and twist desirably.
"you're breathtaking— i missed this," he grunts at you, a little whispery this time that ended in a crumbling tremble when your walls hug him tight, the movements of your bodies sloppy and without any form of control anymore, the erratic pace having your frame jiggle back and forth his figure as he spreads you apart with the next thrust of his heavy cock,
"missed doing this, so much,"
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©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
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ao3commentoftheday · 6 months
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my biggest obstacle as a writer is that i desperately want to be a popular and well-known fic author, but my main fic inspiration comes from characters most fans don’t want to read fic for, or ideas that go against popular fanon/characterization and so are doomed from the start. i end up feeling paralyzed and like i can’t write the unpopular ideas I want to write, because i hate knowing i could have done better by writing something with broader appeal. but whenever i try to write solely for numbers i lose motivation while the halfway through the fic. so i end up unable to write anything and feeling miserable because of it.
i want to see my unpopular ideas come to life, but i don’t want to see my fics crash and burn and keep missing the chance to create fic that people really love. so most times, i don’t write anything, but i hate that i’m so hamstrung by my own anxieties. i so desperately wish i could create one of those extremely well-known long fics that most people love and always rec everywhere, but i feel like i’m completely incapable of that. i know i should be writing for myself, but i’m greedy and want results and for people to like my fic, however unlikely that is. wanting to write my ideas but knowing i’ll limit my audience if i do is something that’s constantly on my mind. do you have any advice for me?
My biggest question after reading your ask is simply: why?
You're very clear about wanting to be a popular writer. You want to write a fic that lots of people talk about, and you want people to know who you are. Have you examined that desire at all?
You say that the things you actually want to write are not the things that will make you a popular author. That means you have a choice:
write things you don't care about with no guarantee of becoming that Big Name Fan or
write things you love and enjoy spending time writing and know that BNF status will probably never happen.
Writing fanfic is really not a great way to try to become popular. It's an even worse way to try to become "famous" in any kind of way. So dig into what it is that you hope to get from the "broader audience" that you could appeal to by writing something you don't really like.
Are you trying to get a feeling of being liked? Respected? Looked up to? Do you want to be someone other fans look to for advice or for setting the tone of the fandom? Do you want love? Power? Some kind of community connection? Recognition of the effort you put into your works?
Some of those things likely will require you to pretend to be someone you're not. You might even manage to write that one big fic that gets thousands of comments and tons of people talking about it on tumblr (or wherever else you care about, social media-wise).
Others you can probably still get by writing your "unpopular" ideas but seeking out your fellow fans. It will take more legwork to find them and you'll need to be willing to be the first one to reach out for a conversation, but it can definitely be done.
I'll leave it up to you to decide what you actually want, anon. But take your time and scrape off the top layer of shiny thoughts about popularity first. Then you'll be able to see what's underneath.
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Uuuuh, how to manage the bare minimum without struggling so bad?
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