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jazzyblusnowflake · 2 months

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Alright, we've had Nuzi headcanons. We've now had Vuzi headcanons... Let's heart it, you're Violent Biting Biscuits headcanons, N x Uzi x V... Or if you'd rather complete the set, eNVy headcanons. I am curious of both. (Your headcannons are just super cute)

Holy hecc, I'm so sorry for answering these asks so late but i'm gonna be honest- I just never think anyone likes my writings or ever reads them XD

okay then lets see- my ViolentBitingBiscuits headcanons- i will put eNVy for the next ask because someone else asked for it too and they wont all fit here lol.

My NUziV headcanons ovo<3 :

[once again these are only the drone versions, the human versions aren't involved / also i may add some 🔞🔞🔞 ones this time lol >:3 also uhhh apologies in advance but this one is long as all hell so....um]

K we know the drill, they are all together- hopefully in the future- even if any of them dies i'm gonna pretend i do not see 🙄 deadass gonna treat this like the jjba fandom- my faves are ALIVE AND WELL SHUT UP ARAKI-

Okay so there's some things that we have already mentioned in the previous headcanons- ill try to not repeat them unless they are necessary but ill also try to treat this as its own post and lightly repeat them real quick too-

N and V started out fighting over Uzi, and Uzi obviously was mostly into N at first- but after a while i guess Vs advances got to her- especially since she was- in a way- so desperate for attention/affection, so it felt a little overwhelming to her but in a good way. they very obviously flirted with her which got them silently treating it as a challenge- and Uzi being Uzi obviously loved the attention she got out of it- opting to let this just... kinda continue lmao. she didn't expect to let it go far enough for her to end up with both of them but here we are XD

We slightly touched this topic before about V but to reiterate- all of them have different levels of trauma that they all deal with and currently V has gone through the worst of it, both having to endure Cyn's torture in her mindspace and also having to watch N get slaughtered in front of her and possibly even having a hand in it. She fears losing people that mean to her so she became avoidant with a difficult personality to guard whatever's left of her. It took a really long time for her to decide to be with the two and to protect them and not run away from her feelings for anyone or anything. but some days its still difficult for her so sometimes N and Uzi have to literally trap her into a wrestling cuddle pile or something to get her to just... exist, without feeling like the whole universe is weighing her down. N and Uzi want her to know they are there to protect HER from those inner demons too.

sometimes the cuddle piles end up with N and V once again trying to get Uzi's attention lmao which ends up with them being a little too horny on main- whoops :) - everything starts with a little nibble here, a small bite there - maybe some pillow fights and climbing over eachother or holding one another down in different positions- aaaand then they wake up a few hours later with Uzi having regrets cuz these two are horny as f-

ANYWAY- N is probably the most patient of the 3, and although he usually never breaks up fights because he trusts the other two to handle their own problems without him needing to mom them, sometimes Uzi and V go a lil too far and he gets very tired of dealing with this kind of behavior. he never blows up at them- but he usually goes away to take a breather- sometimes hanging out with Thad or the other drones- and during this time Uzi and V kinda feel bad- but then they would think of stuff like maybe planning dates or getting food for him, draw stuff on cards and etc- or go around trying to find gifts to make him happy<3 sometimes they might add some extra kisses and unwinding sessions in the end as an extra treat :p N always forgives them obviously, he just needs some guys night out every once in a while or something lmao-

Getting close to Uzi became an excuse for N and V to get closer to eachother too. ironically, it first started with them bantering about who is better at what- but then it turned into unironically flirting and teasing eachother- but after a while they realized their relationship isn't going to ever be the same as what it was back in their old days but its also something completely new, so they become more willing to accept one another and explore their newer dynamic.

they all love being coddled and pampered every now and then. Uzi and V may not outright admit it- but they really do too. so they take turns with who they put in the middle of receiving affection :p

N and V are VERYYYYYY over protective of Uzi. to the point that they wouldn't even let the doctor [for tech repair obviously] check Uzi or touch her in any way when she had a small virus case lol. Khan had to pay the poor doctor extra for that.... deciding to leave his daughter in her room in a cuddle pile of two murderous demons that have glowing cat eyes every time he comes in the room smh.

V and N really like cuddling Uzi and sticking their hands under her clothes. or sometimes just flat out sleeping or cuddling naked. its less of a sexual thing and more so to do with the fact that the two MD's have higher body temperature and a less efficiant body for cooling- since they have a more compact torso and a lot less oil and coolant fluids going through them [since they need to consume it continuously] and having a bunch of working nanobots and nanites shoved into them to turn into weapons/wings/etc- and Uzi- although having the AS- is still very much less in need of cooling due to still having a more efficient body design for a "exoplanetary worker unit", with a still functioning cooling system inside that doesn't necessarily need extra oil to make it work unless under stressful conditions.... even if she probably does have worms and fleshy tentacles inside her now lmao. But either way Uzi's body is still a lot colder than the others so she's usually shared in the middle and at this point Uzi cant even be embarrassed when they slide their hands under her clothes and grab her wherever smh..... although V also does it as a semi possessive thing so there's that pfft. she was especially handsy after that doctor left XDDD.

Yes Uzi has very much in fact ended up at the medical/tech repair unit multiple times because N and V have sometimes ended up being a bit too much for her to handle- and the doctor [a character yall shall meet later] has absolutely had it. She had to literally sit the 3 down, explain to them their body differences via scans and the damages they may cause Uzi and it was basically the robot version of having "the talk" with your child- and Uzi wanted to die there and then.

Uzi sometimes just tells the two to drink blood from her- the first time they wanted to share oil they were scared about accidentally causing Uzi to overheat- but after a few times of trying it, they continued doing it more frequently either by kissing and regurgitating or taking turns to bite Uzi or vice versa. N and V typically don't use one another's oil because they already have high usage as it is, it wouldn't be efficient. admittedly N and V always have concerns when it came to biting Uzi- but somehow they found out Uzi actually enjoys it a little when they do it and well...they get ideas lmao- they just make sure to lick her indents clean with their regenerative saliva to make the AS work as little as possible on Uzi's body.

N really enjoys seeing his partners smooch..... for study purposes ofc lmao- actually he uses his visor to take pictures sometimes- let the man be a little horny in peace smh. and don't worry Uzi and V know all this- they just wanna tease him a little bit :p

Uzi and N usually chit chat while they are in the bed until they fall asleep- but V prefers to just hug Uzi on the side listening to them while they talk until she falls asleep too

they love going around in human based areas with shops and stuff to find books to read together or any other fun human stuff they can find- maybe table top games? lol- V goes for the sports stuff. she kinda wanna try hitting something with a bat...

[okayyyy so tumblr doesn't let me write any more XD i def have more ideas but oh well. also ill save the eNVy for another ask that i have in my inbox so you'll get that soon too :p]

#murder drones #nuzi #vuzi #nuziv #nuvi #biscuitbites #violetviolence #eNVy #envy murder drones #violentbitingbiscuits #enzi #snowballflo #serial designation n #serial designation v #uzi doorman

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chaosxcrushed · 19 days

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There's a certain CCCC summary video that we really, really like. We think it is a great video for people if they want to grasp the story more clearly, if they're confused, or if they're listening to the album for the first time.

That video being Chonny Jash and the Weight of the Mind on Youtube by W3tBl@nk3t. We think they cover it really well.

However, I'm sharing this for a different reason; they say few certain things that really struck with us until now, that I'd like to share with the fandom. Sometimes, we see people really just.. Miss the point of CCCC entirely, and I'd like to shine a light on what was said here. If you'd like to hear this for yourself on video, the timestamp is 35:57-36:45.

“..I bet we all could relate to that, they are the prime example of the side of you that suffers and the side of you that hates yourself for suffering:

The side of you that just wants to slow down and feel everything even to the unhealthy extent of not being able to do anything else(1), but also the side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it(2).

Sure, laying in bed all day every day to rot isn't healthy, but neither is boiling things down and invalidating your own emotions. Both are paths to inevitable disaster, and that's what Chonny is doing here. Keep in mind that the idea behind this album is being whole, and that means neither of these sides are entirely in the right or the wrong; this album is about inner compromise and acceptance(3).”

1.) The side of you that suffers; Heart. He is representative of Whole's emotions, he holds them. Your emotions can go haywire, especially when one's mentally ill and has no way of their feelings being validated. An emotional person like Heart suffers under the weight of crushing, devastating feelings. He wants to feel things out, have time to just process everything, even if it takes them days or weeks to get over it. It's not healthy, but feeling is what he does, and he wants to help because he knows he has importance. Solely focusing on just your emotions isn't the best thing to do, however.

2.) The side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it; Mind. Many people have been there, have wanted themselves to stop wallowing in their own emotions and just do something else, even to the point where you think feeling things out is unnecessary. This is also unhealthy, but not intentionally. Like Heart, Mind just wants to help, everything he does is in best interest. This is what he thinks will get them to move on the quickest; to leave behind emotions and focus on anything BUT that. Also not the best thing to do.

3.) This album is about inner compromise and acceptance; About being whole. Neither of Heart and Mind are right nor wrong. They have their own ways of doing things, of what they think will help their whole self out the most, but both are unhealthy despite the good intentions. They fight over who's wrong or right, when they shouldn't even be doing so in the first place. It's your thoughts against your emotions, basically; your feelings contradict your thoughts, and it leads to an inner war of sorts. This won't make things better, which is why you can't have Mind over Heart or vice versa; you'll need both of them. In the album, they are only able to be whole when they get along. They harmonize, they 'combine', they see eye to eye with each other and work together instead of fighting over and over. Inner compromise is achieved with this, and acceptance can lead them away from any disaster that there's to come.

What we're trying to say is that mental health is a large thing tackled within CCCC, and yet we see a lot of people who overlook it; thus, end up missing the point of the whole album. We see a lot of people believe Mind's perspective a little too much and treat Heart quite harshly, or the other way where people demonize Mind and say that Heart is perfect, when it's not really that in the slightest.

This is not a hate post towards people's interpretations of CCCC or how they view characters, I'm just saying that people can tend to overlook what's in the very narrative, and we see a concerning amount of people do such.

Anyways. Stream CCCC and put your Hearts and Minds in the get along shirt. Have a nice day.

#chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium #cccc #cccc heart #cj heart #cccc mind #cj mind #mind chonny jash #heart chonny jash #I did not mention Soul once in this post. I am so sorry to all of the Soul enjoyers #whole was technically mentioned but this is not about him. so sorry to the Whole enjoyers as well #we rreally really really like this CCCC video #a lot #it does a great job at explaining things and is fairly good for an unbiased telling of the story #to reiterate though this is not a hate post #it's just a bit frustrating to see how many people say that mind is right or heart is right #but no.. that is not the point of cccc #and it's even in tse as well. the line 'neither is right yet neither is wrong'#personally we are big fans of heart and will defend him since he gets so mischaracterized #but we know and acknowledge that he isn't 100% correct and can be wrong for what he wants to do and has done #we love Heart but he did not have to pull that gun.#also. more justice for characters who make mistakes but aren't automatically super evil because they're just human.#we've seen how people lack that understanding in the fandom </3 #hmsw are so incredibly flawed in a relatable way with such good writing #we feel like people overlook that so much #this post was scary to make but #we're doing it #here goes #CxC rambling and yapping #we haven't posted purely text posts in a while please don't come for our heads c4 fandom

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antimony-medusa · 2 months

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MCYT on Ao3 - March '24

The state of MCYT on Ao3, just for fun. Yes I do this every month, I like numbers.

There were some very significant changes in the MCYT space with certain people being outed as abusive or predatory, with some people describing the wave of people coming forward as "mcyt's #metoo moment", so I would expect to see that reflected in the statistics. Let's go for it!

Incidentally, I reached the limit for bullet points on Tumblr, so it's time to switch this over to a spreadsheet! Which means I get to do colour coding, fun.

Some Notes:

I didn't see any new fandoms this month, but ocassionally I've missed something. Feel free to let me know if I've missed a fandom!

Fics are still primarily in english, but we have three exceptions with significant spanish fics. Karmaland (751 of 860 are in spanish, from 750 last month), Tortillaland (109 of 115 are in spanish, the same as last month), and QSMP (845 of 8,475 are in spanish, from 827 last month.)

QSMP also shows 47 fics in French, up from 43 last month, and 454 in Brasilian Portugese, up from 452 last month. While I did not check every language this month, I checked on the languages I knew had a fic in QSMP and we see 1 fic in Bahasa Malaysia, 1 fic in Dansk (Danish), 2 fic in Deutsch (German) up from 1 last month, 1 fic in Esperanto, 1 fic in Filipino, 5 works in European Portugese, 2 fics in Polski (Polish), 7 fics in Русский (Russian), 1 fic in Suomi (Finnish), 1 fic in Svenska (Swedish), 1 fic in Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese), and 4 fics in 中文-普通话國語 (Mandarin Chinese, I believe) up from 3 last month. While several 한국어 (Korean) speakers were recently added to the QSMP, there are currently no fics in 한글 (written Korean). The one fic in ASL has been either re-filed or deleted.

In the small and micro-sized fandoms, HBG's atypical increase of 16 fics last month was followed by a decrease of 7 this month. So not sure what happened there but something happened there. The fandom with the greatest increase is New Life, with an increase of 11, followed by My Inner Demons, with an increase of 9.

In the middle sized fandoms, another Aphmau fandom took the flag, with MyStreet showing an increase of 42 fics. That is followed by Minecraft Diaries and Evolution SMP, at 26 and 25 respectively.

In the post-canon big fandoms, 3rd Life was our standout, with an increase of 398 fics (less than last month's 558 or the previous month's record 831. Origins was noteworthy for posting an actual decrease of 30 fics, in contrast to the previous month's increase of 19. Dream SMP was probably the fandom hardest hit by the outing of abusers mentioned at the start, and far from last month's increase of 591, they showed an actual decrease of 801 fics. So a difference in expected fics posted of approximately 1,400 fics.

Dream SMP was actually not the fandom that posted the greatest decrease, as that belongs to Minecraft (Video Game), which saw a decrease of 1,555 fics, a difference in expected fics posted of approximately 1,800 fics. So many fics were deleted that Video Blogging RPF, which showed an increase of 3,513 last month and this time last year had 3,343 fics posted, only showed an increase of 51 fics.

In the currently airing big fandoms, Hermitcraft's increase of 628 did not reach the previous month's 716 or the month before that's 784, but does beat December's 574. QSMP was also, presumably, hit by the deletion wave, as this month's 391 did not reach the previous month's 729. This marks the fifth month of decline for QSMP.

#dsmp #hermitcraft #qsmp #traffic series #mcyt on ao3 #ao3 #fandom stats

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yellowhollyhock · 2 months

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because I'm the shield

I was trying to write a little scene between rise Raph and Mikey since his overprotectiveness is something they've argued about. But that's turning out slower than I expected and will have to be for another time--maybe will fit a different prompt when it's done, who knows.

I've been rewatching some of 2003 season 4 and having feelings about shield Raph.

Fight scenes do show a lot of him throwing himself between his brothers and physical harm. But season 4, with the family relationships strained, highlights something else, which is Raph shielding his brothers from Master Splinter and each other. Especially Leo.

I learned from the tmnt fandom that sai is meant to defend against sword. And that's so fitting for these two.

Raph defending his brothers from Master Splinter mostly looks like being the loudest and most openly rebellious to draw attention away from (honestly mostly Leo and Donnie) blatantly doing what they're not supposed to do (like traveling to an alternate dimension without telling anyone or fighting the Foot alone. Seriously they call him and Mikey the impulsive ones??). And Splinter isn't a danger to the turtles, he is very loving in 03, but his opinion matters to them and Raph makes himself the squeaky wheel so the others can stay squeaky clean.

But about Leo. Two things going on season 4: Raph is (trying to) protect Leo from his own inner thoughts, verbally replying to his anxieties with positives or neutrals; and Raph is on guard to keep Leo off Don and Mikey's case.

I just watched Aliens Among Us and found it especially sweet when they're all on the roof to watch the President how Raph and Leo interact. Leo is upset with Don and Mikey for fooling around, and says out loud that by even coming to watch they 'may as well ask to be dissected.' (Because it's gonna be a Bishop episode so Leo obviously has to foreshadow that. They just had Bad Day, they will not watch as the various enemies their memories pulled from do in fact torment them.) Anyway, it's the way he keeps a pretty calm, almost lighthearted tone while he talks Leo down from his catastraphizing, drawing attention away from his other brothers who were getting yelled at in the process. And this is just an example of how Raph acts this season.

side note, I adore how these two specifically could be talking about their favorite flavor of potato chips and look like they're plotting a murder. This is a picture of Raph getting as close as he can to physically beating up Leo's inner demons.

Another small moment in this episode that I loved: Raph grabbing Leo by the shoulder with, "Whoa, where are you going? Don't you think we need a plan?" and Leo's plan is 'take out every alien we see.' This is not a Leo at the top of his game, in spite of what he told Splinter last episode about 'doing whatever it takes to protect this family.' Raph knows it. He and Leo have different strengths and different approaches, but he knows a healthy Leo would be analyzing the situation, briefing them all on what they should most likely be prepared for and what information they lack that everyone should keep an eye out for. Leo is an analyst, that's one of his greatest strengths. And he's not doing that.

it's literally like 'hey bro are you okay? you've barely picked apart the enemy's battle strategy or lurked in the shadows.' Leo isn't doing the things he loves and Raph notices.

Also speaking of Bad Day. Here's a picture of Raph telling Donny it's not his fault.

Again he looks like he's plotting murder but he is actually speaking in the softest sweetest voice to his stressed out little brother. This is a turtle who just watched his best friends get blown up by people who were looking for him and his family.

That is all ❤️

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #2003 raph #march for raph

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heynikkiyousofine · 4 months

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✨Hello, 2024!✨

I'm excited to share with you a few projects I'm hoping to start posting this next year, while also branching out on some new things, such as new pairings, a different POV, and even an attempt at an original novel by myself. Cheers to the next year!

⌘Sweeter Than Fiction

(InuKag, modern au, strangers to lovers, librarian/hockey player au, eventual smut, fluff)

Summary: Kagome Higurashi is a loner, something that has never bothered her. She has her close friend, she has her favorite books she devours every chance she gets, a family who loves and supports her, and she is in her final year of college, with a dream to become a writer. Kagome’s content, but in reality, she wishes for adventures and excitement, much like the characters in her books. In steps the captain of her college’s hockey team, a rude, unruly, and cocky hanyou named Inuyasha Taisho, and suddenly, her whole world is turned upside down.

Keep an eye out for some fabulous art by @clearwillow with this one.

⌘How To Train Your Human

(InuKag, space/other world au, strangers to lovers, eventual smut, chaos, fluff, funny)

Summary: In their 250th year, every youkai receives their human familiar after they complete all the necessary tests and read the handbook on how to train their human. Even Inuyasha will, despite being the first half demon to do so. He expected a kind, docile human as described in said handbook, similar to how his mother was when she met his father. So what does he do when Kagome Higurashi, his human, is the exact opposite?

Keep an eye out for some fantastic art with this one by @heavenin--hell

⌘Terms and Conditions

(InuKag, modern au, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, eventual smut, angst, fluff)

Summary: After the disastrous day I had, there were two things I was certain of. One, Inuyasha Taisho, the country’s most eligible bachelor, was going to be my fiancé, and eventual husband. Two, we might kill each other before we ever make it to the altar.

Also planning some fabulous art with @brain-rot-hour for this one as well.

⌘Gifts for amazing people in this fandom.

I've been working with a select few others in creating gifts for the amazing readers, writers, artist, creators of this fandom, so be on the look out for some one-shots and drabbles of our favorite half demona and modern miko, along with new pairings that I'm dipping my toes into.

⌘Becoming Theirs (An Original Novel)

(new novel, modern, strangers, stalker, dark, humor, fluff, smut, healing my own inner trauma with this one)

Summary: Charlotte's life has been turned upside down with meeting Jackson and Elliot, only for her entire world to be shifted again when a past danger reveals itself.

⌘ Maybe/Maybe Not's:

(depends on all the time I have)

Epilogue Chapter to 12 Days of Smutmas: InuKag Edition

Sequel to A Deal With A Demon

Bird In A Cage (InuKag, strangers to lovers, dark and twisty, feudal era and modern au, fluff, first time, teaching, smut.) Summary: Kagome finds herself escaping a fate bestowed upon and stumbles upon a whole new world, where not all are who they seem to be.

Currently celebrating hitting the 400 mark in followers. If you would like to be added to the tag list or removed, please let me know, so I can update it. Also, if there's anything you're excited for, feel free to let me know! I will happily let you know when a new chapter is coming. I'm finally at a point in my life where I have time and energy to create new things and push my creativity. And I'm so beyond excited to share it all with you. Happy New Year! ✨

#inuyasha #heynikkiyousofine fanfiction

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sitp-recs · 7 months

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Happy birthday to the one and only @writcraft! I know you probably feel this year hasn’t been as productive as you’d like fandom-wise, so this is both a reminder and a token of appreciation, a short rec list that hopes to highlight a little bit of your immense contribution to fandom. This is ofc 100% self-indulgent and my picks might be a bit too obvious - I doubt that anyone who’s been around for a while hasn’t heard of these classics before, but those who are new to the fandom (or just new to Writ’s works - I’m so jealous!) might enjoy this “starter pack” with my personal selection of must-reads.

There’s a little bit of everything: Drarry, Snarry, femslash, dark fic, kinky fic, angst with a happy ending, romcom, hurt/comfort. No matter the tone or trope, they’re not only perfectly thought out and executed but they also deliver profound human experiences that resonates within, and thought-provoking explorations of romance, queerness and hope. I have often wondered how Writ could be so prolific over the years, always impressing me with such flawless depth of characterization across different ships. Now I realize this comes from the amount of passion and research they pour into their work. Writ commits to fandom - and to writing - both intellectually and emotionally, bringing together their creative, fannish, militant and intellectual sides like nobody else can do. This combination breathes life and heart into every love story they create, making them all bright and unique, inspiring universal emotions while remaining deeply personal.

Writ, I cannot thank you enough for being such a kind, witty and welcoming friend, always up to discuss fandom meta, gritty fic plots, old and new ship obsessions, dog parenting, queer & pop culture references! I learn so much from you and it’s a privilege (and a delight) to have someone to share both silly and deep, insightful convos with. Becoming friends with you - an author I’ve been admiring and looking up to for so many years now - still feels a bit surreal but it’s easily one of the best parts of 2022/2023 for me. I hope you enjoy your day to the fullest, and have an amazing time celebrating with yours. Happy birthday my friend! 💜

🎵 True Colors (E, 6k) - Harry/Teddy

Teddy spent the last year running away from his feelings for Harry. Now it’s time to come home.

🧵 Independent Love Song (E, 6k) - Ginny/Millie

Millicent Bulstrode is a tailor and Ginny is losing her mind over a woman in a tweed blazer and burgundy brogues.

🪞 Doppelganger (M, 7k) - Drarry, Romione

It was just a silly dare, but one ill-advised trip into the Forbidden Forest changes Harry’s life forever.

🎼 Hopelessly Devoted To You (E, 10k) - Harry/George

Harry and George watch a lot of musicals and accidentally fall in love.

🗞️ Potterzine (E, 11k) - Snarry

When Severus Snape finds a fanzine with a picture of Professor Potter in a compromising position with Draco Malfoy on the cover, he confronts Potter about the offending literature.

🪩 An Aching Soul (M, 14k) - Drarry

Draco Malfoy escapes to the Muggle world to avoid his parents, memories of the war and Harry Potter. However, some things prove harder to escape than others as Draco realises when his favourite Muggle haunt is rudely invaded by a post-war Harry who is struggling to cope with grief, growing up and the battle with his inner demons.

⛓️ Dirty Little Secret (E, 22k) - Drarry

When someone threatens Harry’s life, Kingsley decides to send him to a safe house with only Draco Malfoy for company. As the two men are forced together, memories of the past resurface and secrets are discovered.

🥐 A Life Worth Remembering (E, 23k) - Drarry + Snape

Severus Snape wakes in St Mungo’s, to discover that a potions accident has wiped the last forty years from his body and mind. Just twenty-five years old, Severus is reliant on Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, now both in their forties, to help him fill in the missing decades.

🚘 Harry Potter and The Bisexual Awakening (E, 23k) - Drarry

Harry is perfectly content being single, heterosexual and living in Godric's Hollow with his very clingy rescue dog, Snitch. When Draco Malfoy turns up on Harry's doorstep demanding that Harry teach him how to drive, things quickly become a lot more complicated.

⌛️ Collapse Amongst the Dying Stars (M, 26k) - Drarry

After the final battle nothing is quite as Harry expected. Death Eaters remain unaccounted for, Malfoy is in prison and there is something rotten in Azkaban.

💋 The Beating of This Fragile Heart (E, 33k) - Snarry

After the war, the last thing Severus Snape needs is the memory of a fleeting wartime kiss and a very persistent Harry Potter thwarting his plans to live a peaceful and solitary life.

📸 Expecto Patronum (E, 35k) - Drarry

As Draco Malfoy negotiates his feelings for the wizarding world's brightest star, he becomes increasingly attached to Harry and unravels the secrets he keeps hidden from the rest of the world.

🗽How We Were Warriors (E, 51k) - Snarry

A homophobic attack in London’s Soho brings Harry to New York City to discover more about the past. Still haunted by love and loss in the eighties, Severus just wants to forget.

🥃 The Beauty of Thestrals and Other Unseen Things (E, 63k) - Drarry

Harry has terrific friends, an amazing girlfriend and his job as Head Auror enables him to work on challenging cases and Ministry reform. He just wishes he could work out why he’s been so out of sorts.

🏳️‍🌈 Little Compton Street verse (E, 150k) - Drarry, Sirius/James, Minerva/Will

Draco is lonely, Harry hates the press and it won’t stop raining in London. Harry discovers a magical street that’s close to disappearing forever and Draco realises he’s one rainy night in Soho away from finding everything he’s been searching for.

#happy bday writ 🌈#hp recs #Drarry #rare pairs

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imsickofpasswords · 6 months

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A theory of the Ineffable Plan.

By elsamirrre5322 on YouTube

Realistic_Street1312 on Reddit

ParkSeo-Jun on Fandom

Imsickofpasswords on Tumblr

(Yes, all me!)

Book of Genesis 1–11: And God said: 'Let us make man in our image"

From Neil Gaiman’s MAster Class: When you tell a story, it is crucial that you completely believe in what you're writing

Hi, Good Omens's fellow victims! Like so many, I have been trying to cope with Eternity (I mean the dreadful period between season 2 and, either season 3, or my personal Armageddon.) That rotting brain of mine came up with a theory regarding the message that Good Omens (book and show) is striving to convey. What is it that Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman believe in so hard, as human beings and writers, that they want the whole world to understand it? Well, what I found, whether or not it is accurate, is at least beautiful. So I wish to share it with you.

Before I begin and you accuse me of pedantry, know that my every sentence begins with an invisible imho.

***

Since there is no way around it, I'll talk about the ship and the cruel, heart-wrenching, forever traumatizing, law-should-forbid-that-kind-of-things, cliffhanger. No matter how hard I think, this ship is the most beautiful love story ever (yes, imho). Is it because it doesn't involve burning passion, emphatic confessions and great sacrifices? It's about beings who harbor the same inner values but underwent such different trials that their personalities ended up diametrically opposed. Their love (and loneliness) pulls them together and allows them to rub off on each other, but they still retain their identities and won't go against their principles for the sake of the relationship. In the fight, they both proposed to each other, I mean proposed, like, let’s get married. And neither of them got rejected. They both wanted to be together, and made that part perfectly clear. What they declined was the terms of the contract. Either Crowley going back to pretending he trusts Heaven’s institution, or Aziraphale abandoning his faith. They both expect to be loved for who they truly are and believe in. And of course, this is exactly what they will achieve… True love instead of the illusion of love. First prediction in my Silly and Hopeful Book Of Prophecies.

***

Having taken the mammoth out of the room, I’ll explain my theory.

Whilst reading the book, I realized that the original story was never that of Aziraphale and Crowley (worry not, I have plenty to say about them…). It was that of Adam (originally, William the Antichrist) and the Them. More than that, it’s a saga about humanity achieving its full potential.

***

God

Of course, we should begin with God, since God created humanity, the universe(s) and the rules by which everyone and everything must abide. So. Who is God? Well if I could answer that, I'd probably know how to make a whale. I don't know how to make a whale. But certainly there are things we know, or can guess about God.

First, she (I’m a woman and it makes me obscenely happy to write “she” here) is the narrator. Second, she does not play dice with the universe. The first fact means that God can see everything, down to an angel and a demon drinking solidly for two hours, or a nightingale singing in Berkeley square. Second statement means there is no such thing as chance or hazard in that universe of hers. Everything happens for a reason.

It sounds like God wrote everything, everyone's destiny, like Gaiman and Pratchett did for their characters. Crowley says so himself. Humanity, Aziraphale, Crowley, everybody, they are all characters in the book called The Great Plan.

I think God injected herself in her own story under the disguise of Agnes Nutter. Only God can always be right.

So, here we have Gaiman and Pratchett hiding behind God, and God hiding behind Agnes Nutter. The Bible turned into The Great Plan, and then into a book of prophecies.

But what kind of person is God? Is She compassionate, loving, merciful? Yes. I firmly believe that. Err… Wait. Same God that drowned almost everybody, goats included, and wanted to kill Job's children… and goats!

“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why God? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off.”

― Stephen King, Storm of the Century.

Yes. Same God who never failed to prove herself a master torturer, a mass murderer and a serial killer in a single package. How do I reconcile both sides? Death… is only temporary! I mean, Jesus could bring Lazarus back, Adam resurrected a fuckton of people, and Crowley easily performed miracle escapes. Maybe death isn't the terrible thing we think it is… (except for Nazis? But Nazis aren’t really human, are they?) As for Job's children and goats, God knew that Crowley was around, up to no evil…

Having said that, I remember Stephen King writing something else. Whoever remembers that quote, let me know. Something like this: " If God created everything, then It must rule over both Good and Evil. If It only rules over Good, then there must be someone who rules over it all. I’ll worship that someone as the actual Almighty."

I agree. Good and Evil are like two faces of a coin. Death introduced Itself as the shadow of Creation and states “I’m neither of Hell, nor Heaven”. Evil must be the shadow of Good. And everything is a part of God.

***

The Adams

No, not the family, come on! What would they be doing here? Ah, attending the Second Coming. Come to think of it, it's indeed the kind of event they wouldn’t want to miss…

Anyway, their name is spelled Addams and I’m actually talking about the two Adams of the story. Old Adam, who ate the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden, and young Adam (I mean Adam Young) who steals apples in the garden of his neighbor. As I see it, they are allegories of Humanity.

As Crowley said, most universes come pre-aged, while this one will be allowed to grow. In the same way, Humanity is a species that will be allowed to grow. What ever for? Entertain God? Eternity does sound boring. Certainly a God could use a good laugh once in a while… But Nah. What do people do when they're bored with their lives? Hint: not their best idea? They have children! (or pets. Pets is a good idea…)

At the beginning, Adam and Eve are all of Humanity. They can't tell good from evil as they haven't experienced anything yet. Despite looking like full grownups, they are still babies. Crowley designed, not a star factory, but a fancy wallpaper indeed, for… a nursery.

Now, how is Baby Humanity supposed to grow? Crowley! Good ol’ Crowley! His temptation is the first opportunity to exercise free will. It’s the first lesson and the reason why the apple isn't at the top of a mountain or on the Moon. Choose for yourself, and see what happens. By eating the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve don't actually get any knowledge of right or wrong. The first sin marks the beginning of the teenage rebellion that is necessary to grow beyond what was taught. Everything that comes after is like an initiation rite. A six-thousand year long initiation rite with angels and demons along the way as teachers and… the end of the world as a final test.

At the end of season one, Adam Young is back to being human. He represents Humanity at a later stage. An almost fully grown humanity that has learnt a lot (too much?) about free will. Once again, it takes Crowley’s intervention (just slightly motivated by the idea of Aziraphale’s threat never to talk to him again…) to push Adam towards the right path. Note that I didn’t write the good path. I meant the right path, the one that wasn't created for him even before he was born, I mean the path he made for himself.

The main difference between Old Adam and Adam Young deserves to be stressed here. Adam Young’s education was provided by other humans, his parents, his friends, Anathema… It means in 198X any random human is that evolved, already. The question is, how did Humanity reach this level of knowledge? And power?

Yes, power. Armageddon was stopped by… whom exactly? Humans! Humans only. Anathema, Newt, the Them. Meanwhile, Aziraphale and Crowley were gonna kill the Antichrist, a kid! A KID! And who stopped them? Madame Tracy, a stupid (I’m not the one saying), psychic, Jezebel-of-Babylon with a good heart. A nobody? No. A human.

***

The education of Humanity.

Let's stop to notice that Crowley and Aziraphale are adoptive parents from the get go, watching the kids anxiously from afar, wondering if they actually fulfilled their respective mission as an angel and a demon, not knowing that having kids goes way beyond giving them toys and feeding them applesauce. It's a life sentence. Your kids will always call you at ungodly hours, seeking comfort after a nightmare, no matter how grown up they are. There’s no escaping to Alpha Centauri, and forgetting about them!

What I find interesting is who Aziraphale and Crowley are, and how meaningful it would have been if God had actually chosen them to be the Godfathers of Humanity.

Crowley is the one who questions everything, right? And how does one learn? Through questions. Those who have children know what I'm talking about (no wonder God won't raise her kids herself, being humans or Jesus🙄). It is often said that Science (Man-made god) replaced God. And how does science work? Yes, questions again ! Goddamn, annoying, neverending, pain-in-the-neck questions… Curiosity is the first tool. It's curiosity Crowley injected into Eve, to tempt her into eating the apple.

Crowley is also the one who would suggest a suggestion box. Because he has… IMAGINATION…(here, you need to picture Aziraphale turning a turnip into… an INKWEEEELL… ). IMAGINATIOOOON…. That ability is very, very important. Should I say paramount? God being a writer, possibly a mixture of Pratchett and Gaiman, she can only treasure imagination. Imagination is what created Good Omens. Imagination is what allowed Crowley to stay in his burning car. It was Adam's tool to change reality. Human imagination brought War, Famin and Pollution to life and it's human imagination again, that of three quite ordinary kids, that destroyed them. Not a flaming sword, not an angel, not a demon, mere humans gifted with imagination. And free will. Gifts from a fairy godmother named Crowley.

Aziraphale? Aziraphale didn’t come empty-handed either.

Was he just passing by, fortuitously, when Crowley called out for help? Is it pure coincidence that they created the universe together in a no-sex-involved-whatsoever fashion? I mean, the higher-ups designed universes, universes, man! Big, complicated, extremely sophisticated things, but they couldn’t think of a system that’d be set into motion by a single angel? Come on… And was it just a hazard that Crowley and Aziraphale ended up together on Earth, with the mission of thwarting each other? (Balancing each other?)

No dice. What, then? Crowley is the darker shades of gray. Aziraphale is the lighter part of the spectrum. And God knows that. God knows that Aziraphale isn't as white as he looks, although he does look very white. How does she know that? Because she checked. And several times, if I were to guess. God sees everything. And yet, she asked Aziraphale what happened to the flaming sword. When he lied his way out, she could have punished him, but she just went quiet. She wanted to know 1) if he would lie, if he would dare stand up to Her to protect the children, and 2) if he would trust his inner compass.

Aziraphale has other strong suits. He’s very gay and bubbly, and fluffy, and fun, and embarrassing, and endearing, and adorable, and… yes, I’m in love with him, say you aren’t. At the same time, he is quite strong-minded and aware of being Crowley’s soft spot. He can have his demon do things to please him (to a certain extent), with just a cute glance or a frown. He is Crowley’s anchor.

What’s more, Aziraphale is very conservative, and not just where fashion and music are concerned. He has unwavering faith in God (I mean God, not the institution of Heaven) and nothing, not his love for Humanity, not his love for crêpes, not even his love for Crowley (not sure about the order here), will change that.

Last but not least, our favorite angel is intelligent. (Since it’s Pratchett and Gaiman saying so, it must be true.) He is the ONLY one to point out the existence of the Ineffable Plan. And the ONLY one to figure that it might diverge from the Great Plan. Without the need to hear it, he feels what the ineffable plan is. And that’s why he trusts God. Although he is able to admit the error of his ways, I don’t think he’ll be doing the "you were right” dance this time around. Third prediction. (Boy, do I wish that one isn’t accurate…)

Aziraphale and Crowley were chosen as godfathers because, together, they are the perfect balance, they are black and white and the entire spectrum in between. And somewhere in this spectrum is the most important thing in the universe. Although the ingredients may have been the same, I don't think Aziraphale and Crowley were created with the same recipe as the other angels. Neil just revealed on Tumblr that Aziraphale and Crowley together are a circle. They are perfection. This circle is what God wants for her children. A mind that has no beginning and no end, a God-like mind.

Aziraphale and Crowley intuitively know that. It’s the reason why they turn into an evil nanny and a good-hearted gardener, in hope their combined influences will make a real human being out of the Antichrist. It’s easy for them. Because, this is what they’ve been doing from the beginning! They spent their entire time on Earth playing the nanny and the gardener! For not one kid, but for all Humanity as a youngster. Aziraphale and Crowley are masters at it and it’s thanks to them that Humanity has learnt so much. Pay attention, it looks like they didn't do much, in the end, to prevent Armageddon. But they raised the kids who prevented Armageddon. Of course, the ineffable husbands got some help.

Earlier, I mentioned angels and demons being teachers. They’re all doing the same job, infusing humanity with both Good and Evil through temptations and blessing, having them make choices and watch the outcome. Here, I must say that in the story, (and in History) it feels like demons have all the easier parts, as their pupils seem to always be way ahead of them, from pretty much the beginning. “Yes, always this easy”.

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.” ― Terry Pratchett.

When Crowley creates the universe, what comes first? Darkness. He has to summon light into it to reveal the marvels it contains. Are humans like that? Darknesses that require some light (not too much, otherwise they’d go as blind as angels) to unravel their actual beauty? So. Angels bring light. And demons just have to make sure the darkness stays into place? Something like that. But… if angels and demons are both working towards God’s plan, how is it they keep bickering? Stop. Is there a scene, a single scene where they actually argue? I can’t remember a single one… They all want the same thing. Get the bloody job done so everyone can call it a day and go home.

Why then were demons demoted and casted away? Crowley doesn’t even seem to understand what happened to him…

I guess it’s time I talk about the rebellion and the fall.

***

The Principal

The Principal? Who’s that? The one above the teachers, of course! The Metatron!

THAT Metatron… You want to kill him right now, don’t you? You want to peel off his skin with a blunt knife, you… wait, he doesn’t have a skin… and he probably can’t die anyway. You want to drink his soul with the tiniest straw? Tie him to a chair in front of episodes of Dora the explorer? I feel you.

Not sure if the Metatron has a counterpart. In the novel, his counterpart is Beelzebub, but it doesn’t feel like they’re playing in the same league. I mean… God’s voice, right?

There is a theory going around in the fandom that the Metratron has been editing people's past/memories, using the Book of Life. That theory was written by an actual novelist and it did sway me. However, if it were completely true, it would probably bother me. First reason is I don't want what I already saw of Aziraphale and Crowley's first encounter to be fake, even in the slightest. Second reason is… If you have the power to edit people's lives, why be so subtle about it? Or does the Metatron think he can make surreptitious changes that God won't notice? Hm. I don't know. In the novel, The Book of Life doesn't exist. The one who can "arrange matters af is you never even existed" is Adam. Not sure if this goes against the theory or sustains it…

Here are my own theories. Plural. I gave that bastard a lot of thoughts. I’m afraid none of them involve the disparition of the eccles cakes, sorry.

At first, I had a theory in which the Metatron was instrumental in the rebellion and the fall. It went like this. The Metatron is the voice of God, the Spokesman, as Aziraphale put it. Only when God herself initiates a conversation do you get to talk to her directly. Otherwise, you have to go through the Metatron. (The reason why Crowly envies Job’s opportunity to at least "be able to ask the questions") The Metatron may decide to withhold your message AND answer whatever he wants. Could he have used his position to create a cleavage between God and some of her most powerful subjects? What for? To overthrow God and rule in her place. Demons were sent to Earth, of all the horrible places in such a vast universe, so they could draw strength from all the human souls they’d lure to Hell… So they would grow tougher, smarter and more dangerous.

But that doesn’t seem right. God can see everything, remember? Okay, she could be traveling between universes, leaving Metatrons behind, as governors. In that case, of course, things might happen that she doesn’t know of. Even so. She and Satan still talk to each other. They at least met once, when they made that bet about Job. Surely, any misunderstanding would have cleared up then? Besides, in the book, Crowley mentions talking directly to God, although She just smiled instead of answering. I don’t know. I do have another theory of the Metatron though. Way more simple. Everything was set up by God.

God needed teachers for her children, but with angels being all good, better and best, the kids would only have learnt half what they were supposed to know. Besides, how would they make choices? They would just become angels as well. Obedient, boring, sickeningly good angels. God has that already. So, how did God trigger the rebellion? By using the Metatron.

Let‘s take a moment to think about who, or should I say what the Metatron is. He is a voice. All he knows is what God can say. He is oblivious of everything God cannot or doesn’t want to say. By definition, he is that one part of God that can never be aware of the ineffable plan.

I came to think of the Metatron as an AI, with flawless logic. If SF has taught us anything, it’s that any purely logical mind would want to eradicate humanity, seeing it for the nuisance it is. The Metatron must think that God made a mistake. Maybe God went nuts? Eternity with Elgar… it kind of gets at you after a while… Luck of the devil, the Metatron is there to save the day! What’s that universe where angels go around falling in love with each other, anyway? Nonsense! It's all because of humans' malfunctioning minds.

The Metatron’s sacred duty is to destroy humanity, if it is the last thing he does. To achieve that, he sees to it that a certain number of angels go rogue. Then he sends them to Earth so when the second war breaks out, the entire human race will go as collateral damage. In this case, the Metatron is the one who picked the evil teachers. He did the dirty job, unbeknownst to himself.

Another scenario is that the Metratron has nothing to do with the rebellion and is only striving to stick to the Great Plan, after Armageddon went sideways. In that case, God herself picked the teachers.

In both cases, the question is, was there actually a war? We all noticed how vague Crowly is about the fall, even while talking to himself. "Next thing you know i'm going a million light-years, freestyle-dive into a pool of boiling sulfur." And he can’t remember the guys he is supposed to have fought alongside with. There is some memory tempering here, or I don’t know anything. Either no Great War at all, or a war without Crowley. My bet is a war without Crowley. I read something in the book, can't remember what exactly, but I jumped and said “There must have been an actual war!” Besides, one explanation for a disabled angel like Saraqael could be a war wound. I guess?

Crowley sounds like he loves God, as much as Aziraphale does. This scene, where he snakes around his executive chair, saying "You said you’d test them". Maybe it’s just me, but I read hurt and love in his eyes, love for the world? Love for Aziraphale? Love for God? The reason why Crowley is dead set against going back, isn't it because, or partially because he feels he was betrayed by the One he loved and trusted most? I don’t think Crowley could have gone against God and seriously, how much trouble can you get into, just for asking a few questions? But then, if you’re going to submit your questions to the Metatron, who can’t entertain the concept of a flaw in the system…

***

The final tests.

It's like shoving a knife into the heart of a cake to see if it is well cooked. There's no way around the knife I'm afraid. God needs to find out if her children are fully grown humans. But what does this mean for Her? What does it mean, should it mean, for any parent?

It should mean that the young adults are now able to think for themselves, elaborate strategies to survive on their own, fight and overcome whatever life will throw at them, and… become a better version of their parents.

This is no longer high school, lads. This is college. So exams come in two waves. Midterm. The students have to prevent/overcome/survive Armageddon. And they do.

Armageddon didn't happen. Free will happened. Adam refused to follow his predetermined path and asked both sides to stop meddling into people’s affairs so humans can start to think for themselves. His friends rejected the nightmarish world that was left to them as a legacy. Dog became his own dog and is probably playing hide and seek with cats right now. Anathema decided to stop living according to a book written by her ancestor, NO MATTER how useful and accurate the predictions.

Yet another message here. Don’t let people tell you who you are and what you’re supposed to do. Your life and every choice at every turn are yours to make.

Notice that both God and Agnes sort of vanish at the end of season one. Agnes’s book is burnt by Anathema, and God goes silent. As if something happened that changed the course of what was already written. It's like Adam said: what is written doesn't matter. You can always cross it out. The great plan stopped right there.

And the ineffable plan took over. The ineffable plan is written by human beings in a decade-long essay that will decide if they passed the final test or not. (Of course, they pass, the show is called Good omens! Another prediction, gosh I'm so good, this is beginning to scare me!).

At this point, I think God is satisfied already. I mean if God is a writer and her characters achieved enough self-awareness to write their own story, then… they're real! I suspect writers' secret dreams have always been just that. Playing gods, creating universes and bringing characters to life! Not as puppets, but as sentient beings who will do as they please once the author rests their pen (closes their laptop, let’s be modern… but without bebop). I'm sure Sir Pratchett, having tea with Death, is kicking his feet at this very moment, seeing how many fans have fallen in love with either Aziraphale or Crowley or both and are spending so much time imagining the rest of their adventures.

A clue in the book. When Anathema burns the second Book of Prophecies, the smoke takes the shape of a smiling Agnes who winks at the world. I will always wonder if anything was written in that so-called sequel… Agnes wrote her book for her descendants and God wrote the Great Plan for her children. They must both be very proud that their offspring have finally spread their wings!

Now Humanity has cut the strings and gone from puppet to real living being. And that's where the fun begins. Because there is more to being a human than meets the eye. And this is what season 3 will be about. Oh, I know, it doesn't seem like there is an invisible imho. It's because there isn't! XD

***

The Second Coming, or season 3.

The concept of the Second Coming confuses me a great deal. Because of Jesus. The story doesn't seem to really involve Jesus as we know him, the one and only, the miracle doer, the precious son of God. There is a Jesus who ends up on a cross, alright, but no one says anything about him being special or performing miracles or anything. At the same time, there is an Antichrist, miracles measured in lazari and a second coming ( of Christ, I presume?). I went and picked some people's minds on Reddit. They had several interesting opinions, involving the third baby, Greasy Johnson, Muriel being Jesus under cover, and angels not minding the boss's son who only got this far through nepotism.

We see Christ nailed to a cross in the opening credits of season 2 and we see him again on the banner of the resurrectionists. All this considered, it looks very much like Jesus will have something to say about what happens next. I hope not, for it would probably feel like a Deus ex machina to me. That said, I think that the most important thing about Jesus has already been stressed out, his message.

Anyway, Jesus or no Jesus, there should be, as mentioned in the Scriptures, mass extinction, resurrection, judgment and either punishment or reward. Unless… the Scriptures don't apply anymore, since the great plan went down the loo and the new writers certainly don't want to see the world go to ashes. Unless… Wait. Wait a sec. We're talking about… humans! Hh!!!! That's it. We're baked. Literally. Nice knowing you.💀

And so what? What if humans only achieve self-destruction? Their choice. At least they got to choose.

But that's not really what I expect from season 3. Again. Good Omens.

After not-Armageddon, humans were granted a little time to study further. What will they learn? I don't think there can be a not-Second Coming. That would really be underwhelming, not to say disappointing. There has to be a planet-size all-out war at the very least, with pupils going berserk against their teachers (serves them well for highjacking nuclear weapons designed by their students! ) Only when the teachers have bent both knees, can the students show… mercy, kindness, compassion.

Love?

Jesus's message was "be kind to each other". Neither angels nor demons know how to do that. Both are cruel, cold and unforgiving. Heaven wanted to kill Aziraphale just like Hell wanted to kill Crowley. God on the other hand, used Agnes's last prophecy to save them, from what would have been real death…

God is much more than the sum of her angels, Good and Evil. Mixing good and evil triggers a chemical reaction that is the actual secret recipe to God's purest, greatest form of power. Yes. Love.

Aziraphale and Crowley drew enough strength to perform a 25 lazari miracle because they became one AND risked everything to protect their former enemy. They showed compassion and granted forgiveness (not to mention hot cocoa!). Gabriel and Beelzebub only love each other. They're not perfect together. Aziraphale and Crowley grew feelings that go further and run deeper than just romantic love. They experienced and mastered every aspect of love.

Every day, it's getting closer, love like yours will surely come my way…

Love is the last lesson. And the last gift. Now I know it sounds like everybody will end up naked with flowers in their hair… I for one wouldn't mind such a scene… I mean, if it's for the sake of the plot, what can you do?👀

… Anyway, that's how the students, following the example of the masters, embraced both sides of their true nature to become more than Heaven incarnate or Hell incarnate. They learn how to love and pass the final test! Last prediction. Almost last.

***

“There was never an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it”. At the end of the book, (Warning! spoiler ahead!) Adam, "half angel, half devil, all human, is slouching hopefully towards Tadfield.

... for ever."

For. Ever.

Aw, I forgot a gift, I'm afraid… Eating the apple was the path not to death (for man was probably created mortal as everything else). Eating the apple was the path to immortality. Crowley did the right thing. And so did Aziraphale. Adam is immortal because he is a successfully completed human. He's not the only one. They who were created in the image of God, the children of God, have become…

new Gods.

After that? Well… I guess the Bentley will become her own car and go with yellow and the self promise never to play a Queen song, ever again. The new gods may throw Earth into the trashcan since it's worn out anyway. Or maybe they'll restore it? Somehow I'm not afraid for books. I have a hunch that books will survive… Perhaps some of the gods will join the distant lights that "may or may not be stars?" They'll be like seeds, they'll travel through darkness to create new universes, new god factories…

What? Aziraphale and Crowley? They don't have to choose sides anymore. They were always on the same boat. And God loved, loves, them both. They can just love each other and be who they want to be. Adam, who could read Aziraphale and Crowley's minds, said: “I know all about you, don’t you worry”. Everything will be just fine.

What are they doing right now? Not sure. They're writing their own story too. But I guess it involves flying at the speed of light (or the speed of darkness?) to find the best spots for having picnics and reading books and listening to nightingales. I'm sure they'll stop by Paris. Somewhere near my house? I know a nice place for crêpes…;)

#neil gaiman #terry pratchett #aziraphale #crowley

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homemadegirlbossbattle · 1 year

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ROUND 1 / SIDE B / POLL 1

Lady Ignis Solon (@containmentbreach, art by @mechanomorphic) vs. Alice Luoja (@cantdanceflynn & @pyxehastoomanyinterests)

Lady Ignis Solon info:

Description: ignis is a member of a noble family from her home dimension, where shadowy, demonic creatures make their home and occasionally emerge to hunt, kill and eat lesser beings (who are pretty much anyone, by their standards). ignis takes a lot of pride in her position, despite not seeming particularly…happy. but "happy" is a relative word. she has mothered thirteen children (demon noble families are expected to be large and can include up to 20-25 children. twins, triplets, etc. are also more common) with the king of the realm, despite not being attracted to men in the slightest. she views this as her duty granted to her through her position. commoners from her realm are allowed to marry freely without regard to gender, but ignis isn't jealous of them.

not even a little bit. seriously like not at all.

ignis' preferred hunting grounds is the planet known as "earth," and she has personally trained each of her thirteen children to be the toothy shadows that hide in your house when you think you're alone. well, she's trained twelve of them. she's run into a slight hiccup with the thirteenth, who seems to be getting a little attached to her human target. but that's all right. she'll come around.

ignis enjoys black tea, playing the piano, and horror novels. she views them as some of the few things humans have gotten right.

Crimes:

-well the cannibalism. she did like tons of that. i guess it's not really considered cannibalism if she herself is not a human? but she ate humans is the point i'm trying to make

-she has also committed some regular murders. of humans and of other members of her species.

-does not understand her kids. she loves them but she does not Get them. it tends to frustrate her.

-she basically has very little regard for human laws in general and breaks them as often as she can get away with. if she does get in trouble she lies low for a little while in her dimension, then sets up a new place to live. this means of course that she does commit tax evasion often and well.

Other notes from the submitter: ignis is in a lot of ways a love letter to moms who get shit on by fandom for not understanding their kids. 90% of the time the amount of hate they get is just misogyny tbh! ignis is bad in a lot of ways but she's not a bad mom, even if she comes off as that at first because the story she's in is from the perspective of her daughter and the human she got attached to. people would probably still make discourse about her and shit on her but i do not care because i adore her and i adore fucked up moms in general. and if you don't that's a you issue.

Alice Luoja info:

Description: A Phineas and Ferb background character design turned oc, an old woman basically obsessed with finding or creating godlike perfection. How she does it doesn't matter to her, even if she has to go to lengths beyond what any respectable evil scientist would. She practically adopted Professor Mystery, taking him in as a son when his parents disappeared, although she tends to use him for her own purposes rather then taking good care of him. Greatly manipulative and ruthless, she attempts to run things from behind the scenes all while constantly, zealously, searching for that perfection. Depending on her role in any given au or story with the cast, what she's searching for in that perfection is different, but in her major ones, godlike perfection is more literal. She's also a disaster lesbian cannibal.

Crimes: Well, murder, dismantling of bodies, eating the bodies, child abuse, child murder, platonic (and only platonic I promise she's literally a mom) grooming, basically being a mini cult leader, generally being a mad scientist as part of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.s inner circle with no respect for Doof's morals, blood letting in this day and age for both trans and non-trans reasons, dismemberment, eye gouging of both dead and alive people(including an approx 9 year old), not fucking staying dead like she's William Afton, several curses on items, hoarding, desecration, religious zealotry, being a piss-poor mother even tho she'd actually be a rly good parent if she wasn't scared of being emotionally attached to her own fucking son, lots of murder if you hadn't got the drift she's basically a slasher horror villain in disguise, giving multiple people eating disorders, letting a sentient robot escape tower back onto earth in Knife Roomba form, doesn't know how stores work and just steals everything, poisoning so many people alive, general war crimes, mass murder, attempting to destroy the universe, breaking several peoples limbs, creating a time loop to trap Candace in a state of never being able to avoid killing her loved ones, using her son to specifically torture the cast consistently regardless of how he feels about it into seeing visions of their loved ones being destroyed horrible and usually killed at their hands, encouraging self harm and suicide, she breaks peoples bones a few times, I can't stress the manipulative cult leader thing enough this bitch does blood sacrifices whenever, she's just kinda a loser also.

Other notes from the submitter: SHES CALLED "THE BITCH" BY US FOR A REASON

#poll #oc poll #hmgbb

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writerscafehub · 5 months

Text

𝙸𝙽𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙰𝚈: @fushic0re

ೀ ㅤ۫ ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ ㅤ ♡ ㅤ . 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐀:

From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

I’d say a 3.5. I’m proud of my work, but there’s always room to grow and improve.

2. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I think my writing style focuses a lot on the complexity of the inner emotions the characters feel. I like to take a lot of time fleshing out their inner selves that way when there’s dialogue or they commit a specific act, readers are able to say to themselves “yea, this is very them”. All in all, I like a lot of emotion.

3. Are there any writers that inspire you?

My fellow writers café members inspire me! Everyone has such different styles and ideas, it really makes me want to be more innovative. I don’t really have any specific muses, to be honest–the fanfiction fandom in general makes me want to write and see my ideas developed.

4. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

“Take Me Into Your Arms, Siren’s Call” and “Dance In The Dark”.

5. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write and which do you find most difficult to write?

Steve Rogers for sure is my easiest. I love that man with my entire being and have dissected him and my interpretation of him so many times. I find Geralt of Rivia a bit difficult to write, hence why there’s no work for him.

6. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

There’s not really a who, more like a what–my emotional wounds. Writing is used as a tool for me to not only bring my ideas to life, but use them as vessels to work out these emotions and proverbially close that chapter of my life by turning them into something positive.

7. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about!

I have a very cute “Spy x Family” meets “The Incredibles” one shot for Miguel O’Hara in the works featuring Filipina!Reader, Gabriella O’Hara, and reader’s daughter hehe

8. First fandom you ever wrote for?

I’m really gonna expose myself here…it was for Black Veil Brides LMAOOOO

9. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

GIRL (gender neutral); black cat gf x golden retriever bf, the mean one being soft for the sunshine one, enemies to lovers, reincarnation.

10. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

Mafia/mob boss. I have one singular wip with that trope and after that, I’m retiring it. Cannot stand it, no offense.

11. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

Definitely my demon! Lee Bodecker and ghost!Steve Rogers fics. Those were RIDES.

12. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

ENEMIES TO LOVERS, BLACK CAT GF x GOLDEN RETRIEVER BF, and THE GRUMPY ONE BEING SOFT FOR THE SUNSHINE ONE. I clearly have a preference.

13. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Either bossanova, classical music, jazz, lo-fi, or a playlist I made specifically for whatever I’m writing.

14. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

I don’t have a preference tbh. they’re both very impactful, it just depends on the plot in question.

15. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

yES ALL THE TIME. especially for fluff pieces with family dynamics, I always wanna create little side drabbles in the style of “modern family” like they have their very own sitcom.

16. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

writing for Geralt of Rivia. The deep lore for The Witcher seems like a lot of ground to cover.

17. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I can’t remember anything specific, but my fic “Take Me Into Your Arms, Siren’s Call” received a good amount of super meaningful feedback from Filipino readers that meant a lot to me. They expressed how much it meant for them to be seen, especially in a fantasy-fairy tale like story that incorporated our culture.

18. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Yes, lore building for “Take Me Into Your Arms, Siren’s Call”! I’ve never written anything in the fantasy genre, so that was definitely a challenge. It turned out amazing. I loved writing it and that fic is one that is near and dear to my heart.

19. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

I’m a fucking baby and I can only have angst if it’s followed with fluff…..but I do love angst.

20. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

EEEEEE I currently have one OC for a re-write of my series called “Keeping Up With The Starks”. Her name is Camila Santos Stark, a Filipina-American who is the only daughter of Tony Stark. She’s a spoiled heiress but is definitely a no-nonsense woman who you do not want to underestimate. She’s described by others around her as the rational version of Tony–the snark is there, but so are a bunch of other characteristics that Tony doesn’t possess. Steve Rogers is her love interest. He thought she was a spoiled brat, but look who fell in love!

21. If you could enter the universe of any one of your fics, which would it be and why?

Definitely “Take Me Into Your Arms, Siren’s Call” – it’s pure fantasy which sounds amazing. Plus, Namor!

22. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

Eh, there’s nothing really interesting going on behind the scenes–I just write at night with a candle lit.

23. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

“I’m a beauty, I’m a beast, it defends on the feast” – “So Cool” by Dounia

24. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

If writing frustrates you, that’s a sign for you to step away and take a break. If you initially started writing because you love it, continue to lead with love–don’t kill the joy.

#writer’s cafe ♡☕︎#barista of the month #𓆸rika𓆸

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somnambulic-thing · 9 months

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This has been sitting in my drafts unfinished for MONTHS.

I don't have a large audience here but every single reblog can go a long way! So, if you, dearest reader, decide to indulge in one of those treasures I encourage you to give something back by spreading the goodness and/or giving some love and feedback to the authors!

This is a collection of stories that stuck with me and that I keep coming back to and I'll tell you why as good as I can and without spoilering. (in no particular order.)

death and the maiden by @fairyysoup One of the first Eddie fics I read when I crashed into the fandom here on tumblr. It's immersive, it's creative, the lore is detailed but leaves enough mystery to hold tension. The insights into Eddie's inner world are written with so much care and humor; it's heartbreaking and adorable and there was not one dull minute of reading.

river monster Eddie by @courtingchaos This just grabbed me by the throat and pulled me under. It's so dreamy, so soft and still sharp. Meg's writing makes me smell the dirt, the mossy riverside, the minerals of the rocks we rest on. Our Monster Boi is mysterious, he has character that is shining through even the smallest actions: curious, playful, rough. I want to know everything about his life and what he does to pass the time.

this dreamy blurb by @chestylarouxx Em is the master of illuminating the beauty of the ordinary, of painting big pictures with few words and unleashing avalanches of emotions in subtle ways that will worm under your skin before you realise what's happening. I read this short piece more times than I can count. The intimacy, the softness that is never just sweet but goes even deeper because there is also the sour lurking around the edges. (Or vigorously slapping your face, but I like that, you know?)

the Store Manager Verse by @jo-harrington So this kinda hit me unexpectedly. I am usually not remotely interested in retail settings but I am invested in this! The setting is simple, but never dull! The sting of everyday struggles, everyday drama and the fact that you can't escape yourself, that you take your demons with you wherever you go is met with the beauty of caring for others, of making the best out of subpar situations, of making the most out of a little, of taking a leap of faith despite being scared shitless to fall. Eddie is a well-rounded character, no flawless dream boy but a little mess with a golden heart who's trying so hard. Too hard, sometimes. I love him dearly. Go read this.

last string to sever by @dr-aculaaa There is this quality to Dracs words: like when you enter someone's living space and the light, the shapes and colours, the smell just make sense. They invite you into something unique, something intimate, filled with nuance and dept that I have to take breaks sometimes to untangle everything I just experienced. This story is heavy, is brutal and mean and it stings but it's not just stepping down on you until you can't breathe anymore. Drac leaves cracks in the concrete and through those you can see a way ahead, a reason within. The care between the characters, the hands reaching even after they have been slapped away. The relationships are distinctive. And The Longing! Nothing I could write here would capture it all. This text is insufficient. Have your own taste.

it's been a long year by @myosotisa Again a prime example of painting big pictures with few words. The relationships in this run so deep that the scene unravelling before our eyes hits you like a freight train. It's visceral in exactly the right amount; the physical pain and not overshadowing the weight of lives cut short but accentuating it. It's so tender and soft and full of gutwrenching gratitude laced between the horror... I'm choking up writing this (not kidding).

I'm just a sucker (for you) by @bettyfrommars Betty, Betty, Betty. Highly imaginative, an impressive range and such a sense for detail and the small things that make the difference between a nice story and a story that will stay with you for a while. This short story had all my earthly senses engaged within seconds: Fall was everywhere, the smell of popcorn mingled with the earthy scent of the season. This is one of my favourite Eddie characterisations so far. He's so alive, so sweet and awkward and silly, daring but shy. You made him a complex, believable guy and all contained in so few words. I am kneeling before your greatness.

#somna's recs #rec list #fic rec

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pxl8ed · 1 year

Note

Obsessed with the though of 2003 turtles having a friend who can pick them up pretty easily

Mikey suggest doing something stupid and/or dangerous, but before he can run off Y/N just picks him up and holds him

I wanna thank you for the funny image this put into my head XD

It got me thinking while I was at work today and this little Drabble is the product of this ask. Thank you so much for the opportunity to write this! I hope you like it! :D

Hold Up

Fandom: 2003 TMNT

Warnings: not edited, (y/n) uses she/her pronouns, Mikey being Mikey

Rating: PG

When the turtles met (Y/N), they didn’t think much of it other than the fact they had a new human friend closer to their age. They met much like how they met April but instead of in the sewers, it was in Central Park and instead of mouser robots, it was a couple of Purple Dragon thugs. Yes, she was a bit freaked out by the mutant turtle aspect, but after the TCRI building disappearing, the Triceraton invasion, and a literal war with a demon, she honestly wasn’t that surprised. The four brothers and the human became fast friends shortly after. Albeit she felt more like a mother hen half the time trying to wrangle Mikey and his shenanigans.

Today was no different. (Y/N) had come down to the lair to practice mediation with Splinter, a past time he had gotten her into after a particularly rough week. The orange clad ninja, however, had other plans.

“Yo (Y/N)! Check this out,” She heard him call out from somewhere behind her. She did her best to ignore him. This was the time for inner peace and a clear mind, not for indulging in whatever Mikey was doing. There was a brief moment of quiet bliss and then she felt his presence behind her.

“Oh (Y/N)~”

“Yes, Micheal,” she sighed. She was irritated to say the least. “What do you want?”

The sound of snickering echoed in the silence. She knew what was coming. He hated it when she ignored him. So much so that he would pick her up and carry her off to do whatever bad idea he had in mind. Sometimes she felt more like a pet or a plaything rather than a friend. She knew better, though. He was just happy to have a friend closer to his own age, whom he wasn’t related to, to be around.

Sure enough, a moment later, she felt two three fingered hands pull her up to her feet and spin her around. The orange clad terrapin had the biggest smile plastered on his face. He looked as if he could barely contain his excitement.

“Dudette, c’mon!” He tried to drag her away from where she had been sitting.

“Micheal, what are you going on about?” She dug her heels into the metal flooring as best she could, however the worn rubber soles of her shoes gave little friction.

“Don finally finished that hoverboard I’ve been asking about-“

“More like bugging him about,” she interjected.

“Yeah yeah whatever. The point is,” he kept pulling. “He finished it and I wanna test it out!”

“And why do you need me if you’re just testing it out?” He was halfway to the lair entrance.

“Because I wanna test it with my best buddy!”

As much as she was touched that he considered her his best buddy, she knew that this wasn’t going to end well. Mikey rarely thought through his plans if it didn’t involve his brothers (and even those plans were given little thought). The sudden sense of impending doom hit (Y/N) like a truck.

“And where, exactly, are we going?”

“We’re gonna go to the top of the Brooklyn Bridge,” the casual matter-of-fact statement caused (Y/N) to pull back out of his grip.

“We are absolutely not going to the Brooklyn Bridge.”

Mikey stopped and looked at her. If there was one thing Mikey didn’t like more than being ignored, it was being told no. The mischievous look in his eye was all (Y/N) needed to realize what he was about to do. When Mikey went to grab her, she blocked his outstretched hand with her left arm and grabbed his own wrist with her right hand. She, then, pulled him diagonally across her body as she stepped out of the way. The force of the movement sent him opposite the lair entrance. He skipped to a stop and looked back at (Y/N) who was now between him and the door to outside.

“Where did that come from?” Mikey’s jaw dropped.

“What else do you think I’ve been doin’ with Raph and Leo?” She smirked.

In the blink of an eye Mikey lunged at (Y/N). He attempted to grab her, but what he didn’t expect was the sudden feeling of an arm wrap around his shell and the tug at his belt. Weightlessness soon followed as he realized he was suspended off of the ground. (Y/N) laughed at the look of shock and awe on her friend’s face.

“I‘ll repeat myself one time, Mikey. Not off the Brooklyn Bridge.”

Tags: @acro111

#tmnt 2k3 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #mikey tmnt #TMNT Mikey #michelangelo #tmnt x reader #tmnt 2003 #2003 mikey #x reader #Mikey is just being Mikey and y/n is not having it

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tsukimefuku · 1 month

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Overdue introduction post

She/Her • bi/pan • AuDHD non-monogamous lady • professional tinkerer • this year I’m gonna be unstable unstoppable

If you like anything I write, please leave a comment. I do my best answer each and every one made :)

I don’t usually take requests because I came back to writing in order to let my AuDHD run wild like a toddler with a pair of scissors, completely unbound by earthly restraints. However, I do take suggestions, if you’d like to send one in my Asks.

Pen name and meaning: Tsukime Fuku or Fuku-Chan. I wanted something to resemble the owl I feel like, most of the time (I have terrible sleeping issues). Fukurou (梟) in Japanese means Owl, so I just decided to shorten it in katakana (フク). I wrote Tsukime in kanji (疲明) mixing up the gloomy and tired aspect from “Tsuki” with the bright one from “Me”. I’m a tired, gloomy, somewhat optimistic millenial owl.

My letters from the LGBTQIAP+ community: B for kissing multiple genders and A for demisexual (I can’t spell, sorry). Also, I’ve got a wife.

Where I’m from: A country well known for being God's wild random sandbox experiment 🇧🇷 For that reason, English is not my native language (you can communicate with me in Portuguese, Spanish and English. If by any chance you say something in Italian, please make it three-year-old friendly).

Current fandoms: Jujutsu Kaisen (main) and Hazbin Hotel (secondary).

Former or everlasting fandoms: Death Note, Fullmetal Alchemist, flanaverse, Bojack Horseman, Rurouni Kenshin, Avatar (both The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra — I’m a Korra stan), Sherlock (books, stories, and BBC Series), Steven Universe, House MD, Supernatural, and other things I’ll add as I remember them.

Favorite genres of fiction: murder/mystery (b1tch! grew up reading Sherlock), terror, horror, drama and millennial comedy / dark humor. Currently, I’ve been getting into smutty fiction and rather enjoying it. I also want to write some chick lit stories, so...

Fun(?) facts about me I had enough time to come up with, instead of nervously sweating in the middle of a date thinking about them (this might get updated regularly, but probably won't - most recent will be at the bottom of the list):

I have a deranged type of humor (it's because of my inner demons. They have many voices. One of them is Carol)

I am unhinged and shitpost like a hell spawn. That's not a fun fact, it's a warning

I'm controlled by a monkey with a typewriter that lives inside my head. It feeds off of my anxiety during the day, then gives it back to me at night. It's lovely.

My writing process goes about like this: I get an idea. It plagues my every waking moment. If I don't write it, I realistically believe it might consume me into oblivion. So I write. Should I write because it's fun? Sure. Do I write to quench the thirst for dopamine of my inner demons (that have many voices, one of them is Carol)? Absolutely.

I got diagnosed with ADHD in my early 20's, and autism in my late 20's. These were definitely my roaring 20's, and we don't talk about it.

I try to be a kind person when I can. As a lady in her late 20's with some life and trauma experience involving mental illnesses, addiction, grief, and much more, you can always DM me if by any chance you need to talk about anything. I don't bite (much).

I realized I've been chatting with an online acquaintance that lives with a 12+ hour difference. That's how fucked my sleep schedule is — you can't fuck up your sleep schedule if you have none, amiright?

I need a soundtrack for everything I'm doing. It makes talking to people in real life very difficult.

I never know what day of the month it is. It's led me to receive happy birthday's unannounced and feel very confused at the people congratulating me on "my special day". I had done nothing special. It made no sense.

I tend to write very fast. It's the monkey's fault.

My most unpopular opinion: HIMYM ending was the correct choice, and made perfect sense for Ted and Robin.

My favorite quotes in English are the ending to The Great Gatsby (“so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”) and a tidbit from Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest (“Truth is rarely pure and never simple”).

My favorite poem of all time is "Tabacaria" by Fernando Pessoa.

Something you’ll NEVER see me writing in love stories is romanticized jealousy and possessiveness. Everyone has their thing, but that’s really not mine, and I don’t enjoy writing it. When I DO write about jealousy, I like to explore the underlying insecurity and pain behind it.

I’m here to spread the non-monogamy queer agenda.

If you read this through the end, thank you, and I'm slightly concerned for your mental well-being. Come on over and have a cup of tea.

🦉

#intro post #tsukimefuku

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 2 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/seasurfacefullofclouds1/742666152553086976/maybe-im-mistaken-but-the-way-the-media-treats

You know people usually in fandoms say that ‘you might like the artist but you’ll never like them how i like or understand at intellectual level’ or something.. i got that vibe when i read your response.. that was lovely!

Louis deserves more than he usually gets and i hope to be here and see the day where he is getting all the accolades and has a lovely lovely life with full of love and laughter…

You know, I’ve been here a long, long (too) long time, and the last two years have been transformative, really.

Maybe not in terms of outside recognition or official accolades, but in Louis’ demeanor and … swagger, maybe? Like at the end of AOTV where he says, “This is the first time I can say this, and I really believe I deserve this.”

It feels like Louis has worked out his inner demons and he understands himself better now. I know I always say that Louis isn’t a perfect human being (and he’s had his messy chaotic days), but he intends to be a good one; he cares, he listens, and he tries.

Louis has come to terms with everything that was and everything that will never be, and I feel that he isn’t one to dwell on regrets or anger.

The past is past. “No matter how much you want it, some things change.” That’s both wistful and hopeful— the future is bigger than Louis, but he has a place in it, and he can make a difference.

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misrepresentedmorallygrey · 7 months

Text

And Round 1 is Done!

PROPAGANDA

"Picture this: the love of your life betrays you and causes your death, then you're brought back to life later against your will and your lover is with your reincarnation. Anyone would feel bitter! She tries her best to keep living her half life and helping people. She's hated just because she's not the main character and gets in the way of the show's OTP."

"Kikyo was such an interesting character. She was murdered by the villain, who tricked both her and her love interest into thinking the other had betrayed them, brought back to life against her will only to find that fifty years had passed, the world had moved on without her, her baby sister was now an old woman, and she'd been condemned to an awful half-life in an unfeeling clay body where she was stuck in her worst moments and basically a vengeful spirit, but she eventually managed to move past it, gave up her one chance at getting revenge on her murderer to save the life of a child, and achieved some measure of inner peace before she died for good. But, she also has the misfortune of being the first love of the male lead, so of course the only thing anyone seems to care about is how she supposedly did him dirty and wasn't good enough for him. The whole fandom is chock full of meta posts about how she didn't trust Inuyasha enough and should have known he'd NEVER betray her like that. Meanwhile, Inuyasha fell for it just as easily when the villain framed HER for attacking HIM, but nobody ever tries to claim that HE didn't trust HER enough. (For further context, when she thought he'd betrayed her, she retaliated by pinning him to a tree and putting him in an enchanted sleep. He retaliated by destroying her village.) In at least 90% of the fanfics that she appears in at all, she's either the Bad Girlfriend or the Evil Ex, who either previously or is currently abusing the hero, or cheating on him, or trying to coerce him into turning human, or dating him for years only to break up with him by telling him he disgusts her because of his demon blood (huh???), none of which she did in the actual canon, solely so the preferred love interest can swoop in and kiss it all better. People will claim they're just making valid criticisms of her actions (which, to be fair, aren't always great), or saying she didn't properly earn her redemption (which is actually pretty standard for a shounen series) because she didn't apologize enough, but them multiple male characters who did far worse than she did somehow miraculously managed to escape the constant criticisms that she's subjected to, this despite having a so-called redemption that's literally just "He stopped eating people because he wanted to get into the heroine's pants", and remain very popular characters both in their own right and as alternate ships for the female lead. The double standards are so glaringly obvious, yet people will bend over backwards and jump through mental hoops that would give a gold-medal Olympics gymnast pause to insist that they're being completely objective and fair and that this isn't just about trying to score points in a ship war or holding female characters to completely different standards from male characters."

Kairi Propaganda

"The Kingdom Hearts game series is about Mickey Mouse battling the forces of Darkness with an alliance of fashionable anime boys. Kairi is a major character, and one of the few female characters. She is part of a trio of childhood best friends, with the protagonist Sora and their other friend Riku (who had a villain arc and then a redemption arc). Though Kairi is constantly and clumsily sidelined by the canon narrative, she arguably has more backstory going on than any other major characters. She is a refugee from another planet. She implicitly lost her beloved grandma at five years old in the traumatic destruction of their hometown. She was kidnapped and experimented on by an evil wizard-scientist—she escaped thanks to having a magic charm that basically teleported her to her soulmate(s). Then she had to adjust to living on a new planet and being adopted by a new family. In the very first game, when she's 14, she turns out her pure heart is one of 7 in the entire universe to be free of Darkness—she shows a full emotional spectrum of fear, sadness, frustration, defeat, but she isn't vulnerable to corruption. In KH2, she becomes one of the Chosen Ones who wield a magical weapon called a Keyblade. She loves her friends very much, and she has the unique talent to instantly recognize them even when they've been transformed into monsters. She has saved them several times with nothing but the Power Of Love in her heart randomly manifesting in, like, telepathy and teleportation and resurrection—she doesn't even consciously know that she has powers, her love is just so great that it's accepted as a tangible force of nature. She is frustrated and ashamed by her role as a damsel in distress, and she wishes to be stronger and combat-capable so that she join her male friends on their adventures instead of waiting around where it's safe. Also she was kidnapped by an evil assassin clown who's ten years older than her, and then they became friends. NOT ONLY does the fandom plug its ears and claim there is nothing interesting about this character and no potential in her story—Kairi has been demonized by the fandom for about 20 years. Somehow Kairi is useless and boring while also being a Mary Sue at the same time. She was called a bitch and a slut and a whore. She was hated for wearing too much pink and wielding a girly weapon with a floral design. She was criticized as a slut for wearing a short skirt, and for THE PLAYER being able to manipulate the camera into a contrived angle to look up her skirt to see her panties in the first edition of KH2. You can find nearly 20-year-old fanfiction and fanart of her being twisted into an evil schemer driving her friends apart, and of her being gleefully brutalized and insulted. Haters STILL comb for every crumb to make elaborate anti-canon theories about why she's an agent of evil, even though canon has FIRMLY ESTABLISHED for TWENTY YEARS since the very beginning that she's THE ONE CHARACTER incapable of growing Darkness in her heart. The theory is that she exists only as a puppet sent by the main villain to sabotage her friends (the plot for two out of the four main female characters) for all ten years of their friendship. The theory is that she's been using her powers to force her friends to love her—and their Power Of Friendship that is the EMOTIONAL BACKBONE OF THE STORY, and THE MAJOR FORCE OF GOOD IN THEIR UNIVERSE, and THE MOST CONSISTENT MOTIVATION FOR THE HEROES is all Just Misdirection LOL building up to a shitty Plot Twist. The theory is that she's secretly a custom-manufactured Chirithy (a cute talking animal companion that serves and guides humans)—and not a human girl with her own natural feelings and aspirations. AND THEN after stripping her of every important trait and role, these fans claim they're making Kairi more important and interesting than she is in canon. I don't know what causes the fandom to so desperately hate a sweet 14-year-old girl who literally canonically never did anything wrong."

#round 1 #round 1B #females fucked over tournament #inuyasha #kingdom hearts #kikyo #kh kairi #fun fact: Kairi was the last character to be submitted

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