#in the most unfortunate way possible

[depressio111117]

Homestar Runner with Onion headlines that I meant to make like a few months ago and then never did for some reason

1/2

#homestar runner #onion headlines #strong bad #strong sad #marshie #strong mad #marzipan #pom pom #bubs #senor cardgage #in the most unfortunate way possible #oh yeah and #strongstar

[puppyeared]

Why have sex when u can watch blackhead removal videos

#u even get bad sex. which is when you want to throttle the neck of whoever’s doing said blackhead removal #someone in the comments section said all of us are watching this thinkijg move over and let me do it. and honestly. yeah #it’s hard to find good videos that either 1) dont cut out just before the satisfying part or 2) don’t take fucking FOREVER to do it #in the most cursed awful way possible #im very passionate about this. unfortunately I can’t just blurt this out like a water cooler conversation #but it’s fucking satisfyingggggg #I’m not a big fan of the squeezing but like if u use the tweezers JUST RIGHT and twirl it around and then PULL IT OUT. chills #if orgasms were real that’s what it would feel like #I feel like laios dunmeshi just talking about this #yapping

[bonyato]

Extremely Normal Behavior to exhibit when dealing with a crush btw

#EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED KING‼️‼️ HE IS .. SO USELESS GOD BLESS. (<- SAID IN THE MOST LOVING WAY POSSIBLE) #fabiniku #fantasy bishoujo juniku ojisan to #life with an ordinary guy who reincarnated into a total fantasy knockout #<- what you see is what you get w/ this one #jinguuji tsukasa #tsukasa jinguuji #tachibana hinata #hinata tachibana #don't let the fact that im throwing shade @ him fool you btw #i actually couldn't watch this scene w/o going “he is Just like me fr” in my head the entire time unfortunately

[arrowsperpetualcringe]

Thanks for answering. But wait. They put queer people in straight jackets? Sorry for the pun but I couldn't help myself

Sorry anon, but that sounds like such a Kazui thing to say

#cringefail old man tries to flirt (gone wrong) #Kazui can never out right say he's gay or ask out a man #but he CAN flirt in the most corny way possible and hope for the best #unfortunately this goes right over Shidou's head. every. time. #Shidou is the type of person to be surprised that people like him #despite him being handsome and quite kind he doesn't see himseld as anything special #so he goes into denial over people having feelings for him #istg this man's wife was probably the one who confessed to him and he was like 'huh??? you like me back???' #mans really proposed and pulled a surprised pikachu faced when she said yes #and now that she's gone he doesn't think he'll find anyone else who likes him again l #tragic #anyways— #kazui mukuhara #shidou kirisaki #milgram kazui #milgram shidou #0507 #kazui x shidou #milgram 0507 #milgram #milgram project #my art #sketch #ask #anon

[youngyoo-apologist]

If I ever met Cale I’d laugh in his face because my life is everything he wants his to be (I slack off and he doesn’t)

#I do nothing all day #I’m the real slacker between the two of us #he’s actually such a fake slacker I can’t believe him #he’s so in denial about it too #I love him he’s so pitiful and unfortunate #he doesn’t even know he’s digging his slacker life’s own grave #tsk tsk #Cale let me tell you from a real slacker to a fake one #a REAL slacker does the bare minimum of everything possible #if something sounds like a pain you find a way to avoid it entirely and do something where you can get the most rest right at that moment #while I think your method of slacking off for the future works occasionally #you must find balance between work and rest #and you poor soul have found yourself forever drowning in work because of your ‘I have to do it now it’s more convenient’ mentality #rambling #I like to make fun of Cale a lot actually #Alberu too #it’s just so funny #My favorite old man workaholics #one of them is in denial about it the other is not #tcf #lcf

[torgawl]

me: *installs a fun little dating game*

day 3 of playing it: *mc's family dies in an explosion*

#what the fuck #why is there tragedy all of a sudden #the way it managed to jump scare me more than a horror movie #the most unrealistic thing about this game is mc having two hot af childhood friends (one of them being a malewife) and never having fallen #in love with either of them 😂 #caleb won me at pipsqueak #unfortunately he's not playable #and he got roasted #mc asked for roasted chicken but i think there was a misunderstanding ahsjshsjjs sorry #i needed to make a joke #yes this is about love and deepspace #the game is actually pretty fun #i like the fighting #i feel like i'm pretty committed to xavier at the moment #but i like the three boys a lot #rafayel is so silly #the little hints about the plot are very juicy i'm curious to see how the plot develops #definitely not the first time meeting them #that one comment on a post talking about love at first sight possibly being reconnecting with a lover from a past life... #sus!!!! #and then you have xavier who supposedly took a book from the library 30 years ago...... is he like 300 years old or something? 😂 #scratching my chin like a detective #love and deepspace #lads spoilers #< just in case?

[moregraceful]

KASPER!!! what about….bryce and jamie drysdale and uhhhhh anything that would adequately cover bryce’s cringe and fail tendencies. maybe 💜?

THANK you omg...

this could alternately be titled, Trea Turner's life is harder than any man whoever lived.

;;

Trea didn’t have to laugh quite so much when Bryce called him a month into the offseason and nervously came out as gay. But Bryce was also kinda getting it, at that point; everyone else he told nodded and said, “oh yeah, that makes sense. Happy for you, man.” But Trea was kinder than his family and gentler than his teammates. They’d known each for a long time and they hated and loved each other like brothers, or perhaps wives, and Bryce would always pick up the phone for Trea, and Trea would for him, though he often complained.

Anyway, the point is, Trea didn’t have to laugh so much and he really does not have to stand there making a supremely unimpressed face ten feet behind this guy, Jamie, a Flyer, while Bryce bravely tries to have a conversation with him. Trea is ruining the moment, but he’s also providing good cover at this Flyers meet the Phillies cross-promo event, so Bryce still loves him a little.

Also, Bryce isn’t really paying attention to Trea, because Jamie’s really cute. Jamie’s really cute. He’s several inches shorter than Bryce, mousey in a jock way, built as hell with an ass that, what, doesn’t quit? Is that what gay people say? And he’s rocking the kind of serious five o’clock shadow that comes from being young and not knowing how you want to look in the morning, and he has dark blue eyes that Bryce keeps getting lost in, and also he looks so nervous to be talking to Bryce, but he also didn’t know who Bryce is when they were introduced, so it’s not like a starstruck thing. He just seems like he’s kind of anxious in general.

Bryce used to read a lot of straight hockey romances before he realized he was gay, which probably should have tipped him off in the first place, but whatever. Jamie looks like the lead of one of them, thick and small and with a sweet, anxious smile. People probably trip on their shoelaces when they see him, regularly.

“You enjoying Philly?” Bryce asks. Jamie just got traded here. It was a big deal. Bryce had been following it sort of, but he’d also been coming out to everyone he knew, so it sort of flew past him while he was throwing up with anxiety for a solid month.

Jamie nods. His smile gets wider. “Yeah, I love it, bro.” Bro. Oh. “It’s really cool. Like everyone here is really fucked up, but they own it? Like, California, they pretend they’re okay when they’re falling apart, but Philly is like—” he shrugs, his smile bright “—like they own how fucked up they are.” His cheeks turn pink as he says in a small voice, “it makes me feel at home.”

Bryce’s heart is beating fast. He wonders if he’s having a heart attack, realizes he has a crush, has a brief moment of clarity that this is how attraction is supposed to feel, and then leans forward and kisses Jamie right on the mouth.

Trea honest-to-god squawks behind Jamie, ruining the moment, but also it wasn’t really a moment, Bryce just lost control of himself. Trea’s in the weight class of a stick insect, but he still edges himself more carefully between them and the sightline of everyone else in the room. Bryce could kiss him too, but like, normal.

Jamie didn’t kiss him back but he isn’t backing away either. His face is bright red. “Oh,” he squeaks in a timbre Bryce didn’t know was possible for men. “Um. Oh, jeeze.”

“Sorry,” says Bryce, even though he isn’t. He wants to do it again. He will do it again. Well, if Jamie wants to.

Jamie makes a face like he’s trying to shake off his anxiety and says in a much more normal tone of voice,“You’re pretty hot.”

Bryce has heard that many times from many people, but it’s never landed quite so tenderly in him as Jamie says it. He tries to be cool, but he’s smiling really wide.

“Is there like,” says Jamie, “somewhere more private we can, um? Talk?”

Oh right, Jamie’s never been in the clubhouse before. “Yeah,” says Bryce, because maybe, maybe, he’s kinda scoped out places in the ballpark where one could conceivably hook up without someone seeing. Like, maybe he’s thought about it once or twice, daydreamed about it during long games when he was injured to stop himself from being grumpy about not being able to play. Where he could kiss someone, if he didn’t want to be caught. He never thought about who, though. He never thought he would have the chance to try.

Trea hisses, “Harper, I swear to God.” He walks away.

Bryce ignores him, but also so does Jamie, so maybe they’re fated. “Come on,” says Bryce. “I know a spot.”

They duck out of the clubhouse, winding down long hallways. Bryce takes Jamie’s hand and kisses it once they’re far away from people, where the stadium is quieter, darker.

Jamie sighs, but Bryce thinks he sounds happy. “Philly’s so fucked up,” he says. “I hope I’m here forever. I hope I retire here. Hey, can I blow you? I didn’t actually want to talk. I’m not good at talking.”

Bryce pulls Jamie into the equipment room where they keep everybody’s extra stuff. “You’re great at talking,” he says, but Jamie’s already on his knees, so it’s kind of a moot point.

When Bryce and Jamie sneak back in, Bryce’s face is still flushed and Jamie’s hair is haphazardly patted down. Bryson gives Bryce an appraising look from where he’s standing next to Trea, who looks irritated, but Bryce ignores them both. They always look like that when they look at Bryce.

Bryce gets Jamie’s number and Jamie shows him how to use Snapchat (“so I can send you, uh, pictures”), so it’s a good night overall.

#he's SOOOOO CRINGE #to be clear: i have loved philly both times i went there and i cherish at least three people who live in philadelphia so this is all meant #to be in the most complimentary way possible!!! #unfortunate birdcage fanfictions #bryce/jamie

[zymstarz]

yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

#zymart #zymtalk #rant in the tags -> #okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st #the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL #i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board #bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route #and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week #then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway' #and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened' #'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly #in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized #after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??' #but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure. #horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly #SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible. #im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it #oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]: #that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi #i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie #[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim] #but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long. #but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now #idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim #but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it #anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty. #side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶 #you are not safe

[short666bread]

Prev 22 Next

#teddy lupin #special teddy edition he’s getting his thoughts on the page #draco malfoy #harry potter #drarry #draco x harry #harry x draco #teddy murine #draco mousefoy #harry potfur #little guys au #unfortunate means penis looking #btw #i kind of inadvertently made this series an advent thing #even though I wrote/sketched/drew a lot of these comics in the fall #and I am not doing anything for Christmas this year #except probably Chinese food and bobs burgers :| #Moral Orel if I want to be seasonal in the most bummer way possible #I’ve had close face in my head all week expect my moral Orel au to debut any day now

[ut-scatteredextension]

What's the worst reason you had to reset?

"..."

"I HATE HOTLAND."

#undertale: scattered extension #UTSE #papyrus / scraps (UTSE) #papyrus #ic ask #ask #anonymous #okay so context: #dying is. probably the most likely way *anyone* would find out they have reset powers #it's also canonically how flowey first found out about his reset powers. so i'm gonna go with the same for paps! #however. flowey's first death was a suicide attempt #papyrus. would not do that. At All. i cannot see it #so instead. i'm thinking. his first death happened much quicker than flowey's did #papyrus was revived inside chara's lab in hotland. and well. with hotland's powerful air vents everywhere #and papyrus being a) not super used to floating around yet; and b) not used to being as light as fabric #and the lake of magma below the walkways all throughout hotland #that all sets up the unfortunate possibility of the highly unpleasant experience of getting blown off course #and sent tumbling down into magma </3 #and thus. a very very horrible reason to have to reset </3 #and a very very valid reason to hate hotland even more than he already did #though i'm not *100%* set on it happening? or i guess it's just more *when* it happens that i'm indecisive on #but regardless! that's what this is referencing

[oozeandgoo-art]

everyone is sooo in love with vakori on account of le is so cool and smart and deeply pragmatic and is also completely batshit insane

#oc #monochrome #sketch #velan #vakori #rocaim #rocaim and vakori are rex and taz and adder and silas's parents #adder and silas get their looks from vakori; rex and taz to a slightly lesser degree get it from rocaim #rex specifically is like a sharper clone of him. fucks velan up all the time because their personalities are completely totally different #rocaim was very like. gentle and understanding. good with kids and well-liked by basically everyone. a very effective mediator #rex is obviously none of those things lmao. every time he says something particularly insensitive it surprises her for like six years runni #anyway rocaim is in love wtih vakori. velan is in love with vakori. vakori is aro as they come but insanely pragmatic #like. ok le's based loosely off my ex. like. so le's SCARY pragmatic. so fucking cool about it everyone with a brain is specifically like #'woag oh my god le's so pragmatic im in love with her'. anyway eventually le's like 'hi rocaim. here are the objective reasons that i think #that if we got married it would mean i had better standing and more power in the organization we're both committed to. would you be #opposed to possibly getting married with me on the grounds that it would get me respect and power' and rocaim. who is already head over #heels for ler specifically because le makes these kinds of decisions and sees with this kind of logic is like. Absolutely. 100% #then for the next four years of their formal engagement people keep taking rocaim aside and being like hey... i have bad news... #...that leya you're engaged to... le's not romantically interested in you the same way you're romantically interested in ler... le only #wants you because you're an Ath and le wants a voice in the interclan meetsings... and then when Rocaim is like yeah i know #thats why i want to marry ler isnt that like the sexiest fucking reasoning you've EVER heard. no one gets it but velan #who is also in love with ler for the same reasons but has no such claims to power #and who also is not equipped for a polycule nor willing to try to go behind rocaim's back because unfortunately for her. she is also in lov #with rocaim. me when im in love with my friend and my friend's wife and also i'm pretty sure they both reciprocate but they're both #married and i dont really know what to do about it and also all three of us are very Traditional and that is not the Tradition: #and then they both die and she never quite deals with that. #but she DOES get to raise their (surviving) kids :) most of whom are fucking nightmares #life is so difficult for velan. like actually #closerverse #cv

[spacepunksupreme]

#my twin and I were just joking about Billy and Stu being spiritual successors to Phillip and Brandon. and I was like who’s surviving if #theyre all locked in a room together trying to kill the other couple? and he was like ‘theyre not. theyre fucking. but that does still #leave the question of who’s surviving’ ahsjfhs #hannah is talking #rope (1948) #scream #anyway my money’s on the rope boys. the murder of their classmate was less violent than billy and stu’s murdering of their classmates but I #think that’s a point in their favor. they have a lot of pent up energy over not being able to leave a bloody crime scene #OKAY ALSO. I think Brandon and Billy would unfortunately really get along but in the most truly unsufferable and obnoxious way possible. #Stu would be bored in the company of both Phillip and Brandon. and Phillip would be so nervously annoyed by both Billy and Stu that he’d be #muttering and death-gripping Brandon’s arm about it lol

[sidesteppostinghours]

atp the only reason im not making cyric canon is to give the citizens of ld a single chance of living a good life

#pulp speaks #their relationship would have a body count unless navigated in the most specific way possible #there is a Reason i named their ship electrical fires #sparks fly and itll literally burn down everybody with it #unfortunately inside my brain they really Really want to make out #but also imagine a cyricherald poly???? #streetwise cyrus+massive celebrities herald and ortega #the amount of shit theyd talk would be insane #also theyd be weirdly possessive over eachother #sorry i dont make the rules #do i even tag their ship????? #mmmmm eh wtv #ship: electrical fires #ship: love‚ heroics‚ and other failed passions

[artisanalpeanutbutter]

Pros to ffxvi:

-gay party member

-pretty game

-combat is brilliant

-apparently the thesis of the game is about different kinds of love, which is an idea I really like bc I love love

Cons to ffxvi:

-my friend said he skipped over half the cutscenes in the demo bc it felt like the kind of fantasy novel that feels vaguely racist but you can't quite pin down why, and he didn't even know about the shit yoship said about not having black people in the game for "historical accuracy"

-same friend (who is straight) said it's excruciatingly heterosexual & very vanilla with its approach to writing both the romance & the plot

-i personally think the character designs are a HUGE step back from the often costume & musical performance-inspired characters of literally every other ff game except maybe 12, 11, and 14. (Yes im including 1-5. Look at the art for them. They're super glam rock (not quite as glam rock as 6 but still) and even the designs that aren't have a certain flair and grace to them!!!) And those games still have like, queer vibes & at the very least dont feel basic as fuck

-my mother (who loves hallmark) says the characters look and feel like a bunch of hallmark actors (this was an insult, she was clear about that)

-the shit that yoship said about "historical accuracy" and the pervasive whiteness of everything I've seen in the game

-no turn based elements at all ;_; but that's a super personal criticism

-no lesbians :( (though this was expected and also an extremely personal criticism)

-potentially no chocobos?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

#ffxvi spoilers #final fantasy 16 spoilers #i really dont think im gonna play it #makes me sad #ive been disappointed since rhe first trailer tbh because the art direction felt so BORING #i was cautiously optimistic that maybe it was just bc new trailer blah blah #but the more ive seen the more disinterested ive been which is sad for me bc i love almost every ff game #i get that theyre like trying to make it as dissimilar to 15 as possible but they decided to go about it in the most uninspiring uncreative #way possible. unfortunately. also like whats up with the racism shit #like why #why did they think that was a good move or even like an ok move #whats the point #it does nothing but make me think poorly abt yoship and the art directors #terrible move #makes the game bland as hell #a lot of these points are extremelt shallow (except the racism thing) but idgaf this is my post make ur own if u disagree

[intertexts]

gmmmm btw!

#how r we all...... #the vibes r. mmm. ambiguous today. friday which is awesome except ik im doing nothing fun this weekend. #forgor my wallet so i can't get an sd card on my way back. design prof said niceys things about both of my projects ^_^ #wore white pants on the most unfortunate possible day which is so irksome. it's nice n sunny out etc. #hfghvhggbhhh. whatever dude i have simply been playing loop hero & reading dunmeshi for the last three hours!! (<- presentation/review day #& im not particularly interested in watching her dissect other people's work all fucking morning & also im all caught up ^_^ #txt

[spidercrimes]

Ill ask more later but 47 for Cvimi please im so curious 👀

47. Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well?

I'm so sorry to say this but the entire Fortemps family and also Drusilla from the Reaper questline.

C'vimi was in a weird place mentally after the entirety of HW frm the grief of losing 2 friends, trying to get the Scions back, and getting dragged into another war so soon after, so she tried her best to not dwell on all that. Unfortunately, not thinking about the events of the Dragonsong War & everything after meant that details started slipping frm her mind after a few months, including her time and the Fortemps manor and the family as well 😔. House Fortemps remembers her fondly for her deeds + relationship with Haurchefant but. I cld not say they actually know her anymore, after all these years.

For Drusilla... yeah C'vimi essentially never went back to whatever that place is called after finishing the job quests, so she forgot her old mentor lmao. Drusilla can remember her well bc there's something so baffling about seeing this tiny ass catgirl forming a pact with a giant snake-adjacent voidsent and seeing them work together in real time.

#the sylph speaks #C'vimi #ty for asking!! #c'vimi grieves in the most pressure cooker way possible and it never works out 🫶 so instead of forgetting just Haurchefant she also forgot #his family rip. she does remember ysayle though the Eden raids made her process that grief #was she ready for it? debatable. but she got through it and reached some kind of catharsis #(it's been so long since I played HW augh I gotta be vague 😭 I don't remember either) #re: Drusilla um. yeah she just didn't really care about her that much LMAO so c'vimi forgot she exists #if she cares abt you she'll never leave you alone but good luck trying to get her to remember you if she doesn't #though. #there's a difference between remembering her well vs knowing her. and unfortunately not a lot of ppl in eorzea Know her