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madame-mongoose · 6 months

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Enough robots who wish to be human. Wheatley doesn't desire humanity. He literally rants about how he doesn't like humans (and covers his ass when he remembers Chell is one)

He doesn't want to be human he isn't insecure in his artificial self. He's just a silly robot guy who likes to glide around on his management rail okay

#SORRY IM JUST TIRED OF THIS TAKE #like where in the text do we see any aperture robot desire humanity #in fact they run AWAY from it #im tired of robots thinking humans are better or whatever in general #why does humanity have to be the pinnicale of existence #why can't robots desire to be themselves and be happy with themselves #wheres my story about a very humanlike robot who rejects how they were built #and modifies their appearance to embrace their nature #where #monnie rambles

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 21 days

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Daughter of delta Yu, show them that you're no fool!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #yu ziyuan #jiang fengmian #jinzhu #yinzhu #wang lingjiao #wen zhuliu #elle woods #Not officially appearing but this is very much supposed to continue on the running gag of her being a character in pd-mdzs.#Yes I have been thinking about how Yu and Nu sound the same. Would it not be funny if YZY and Elle Woods were martial sisters?#Oh man I really hope help gets to lotus pier in time. I hope things turn out okay despite the odds.#I always wondered what YZY ended up fighting with once she gave away zidian. Supposedly she would have a sword right?#Let us also factor in the fact she gets her core 'melted' and can't use spiritual weapons anymore.#We know for a fact that this does not stop someone from still kicking ass.#Thus I propose: Yu Ziyuan as a bare knuckle brawler. In my heart she's a multiclass barbarian/monk.#As *if* she would go down without causing a bit more bloodshed once her core was gone.#Gatekeep Gaslight Girlviscerate your enemies.

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pbnmj · 1 year

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assorted sketches (personally very obsessed w petermj rn and the fact that the 2020 run of noir colored his hair/eyes as black/grey. peter parker the man that you are....)

#ive been away from the loml for far too long. i drew peter's hair parting the wrong way around OTL WTFFFFFF #its fine. ITS FINE (<- dying)#spider-man #spiderman #peter parker #mj watson #mary jane watson #petermj #spider-man noir #noir #pete #mj #my art #also the fact that u can tell what my mental state is like from the amt of drawings in my spiderman folder #noir 📈 i'm coping #also the reason peter is colored like that is cause the lead artist on the 2020 run did that all with like.#gouache and pencil on toned paper (had to google to find out it was haunting me)#WHICH IS LIKE. HELLO??? its so cool but also. WHAT. the commitment to the style is actually so. WOW #so its mostly i believe a limited pallette and a result of that. but. black hair/grey eyes peter is like. making me very. very. sick

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askblueandviolet · 9 days

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How did I get here... (Had to remember I was a wukong blog)

MASTER POST

Previous 💜

Next 💙💜

#lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid fanart #monkie kid #monkie kid fanart #lmk #lmk fanart #monkie kid macaque #lmk macaque #lmk sun wukong #monkie kid sun wukong #blue and violet #Wukong I'm not sure if spontaneously popping into existence was a good idea #this was really funny though I'll give you that #wukong is out of his depth in this theatre room I think he should run away from what is clearly Macaque's territory #fun fact I actually had to pull up Wukong's design ref for this lmao #not because I forgot what he looked like but because I genuinely believe that drawing Mayor and Macaque so much as messed up my memory bank #silly monkies go burrrrrrr

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iridescentmirrorsgenshin · 1 month

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An example of queercoding in Alhaitham and Kaveh's relationship: Madam Faruzan edition

Due to the rules in place for game development in China, the possibility for queer confirmation within Genshin Impact is denied, which therefore renders the usage of characters alluding to the potential romantic connection between two same-sex characters as impossible. However, the same insinuation can be made by omitting specific language which strictly conveys romantic sentiments, such as ‘couple’. Instead, the idea of secrecy or something unmentionable can be drawn upon as indicators, as this draws parallels to the taboo of homosexuality practiced within certain cultures and media forms, which the real world audience can identify.

For example, Alhaitham and Kaveh as secret housemates. This can be used to convey an idea of ‘taboo’ as Kaveh desires to protect his reputation by concealing his shame of having to live with Alhaitham. In-game, the context here is that Kaveh wants to uphold his reputation of a successful architect, but within Alhaitham’s Story Quest, upon the player’s discovery of Kaveh living with Alhaitham, this context is omitted for some time. This prompts Paimon to question what exactly Alhaitham and Kaveh’s relationship is, with Kaveh denying that the two used to be friends but are not anymore: “I wouldn’t say ‘friends’ exactly”.

This tactic of double entendre can be seen again in A Parade of Providence when Paimon almost reveals Kaveh’s living situation to Faruzan.

Faruzan’s can be observed to resort to a thinking pose, in comparison with Layla, when Alhaitham is mentioned in relation to Kaveh wanting to buy property, as Paimon almost ‘outs’ the truth, that Kaveh resides with Alhaitham.

She then seemingly dwells upon the subject, as she returns to it after Kaveh requests for a change of topic later in the conversation. Here, Faruzan follows up on whether Kaveh lives alone, which he fails to deny.

Here, it can be seen that she has already began associating Kaveh and Alhaitham, possibly speculating that the two live together. When Kaveh fails to supply an answer, therefore not denying her theory, she explicitly ties the two together, and asks if the two are “hiding” something.

This question evokes a physical reaction from Kaveh, as he denies this question out of fear of being revealed, with Paimon opting to leave in order to cover her role in revealing Kaveh’s predicament.

A deliberate potentiality has been created here in regard to what Faruzan has inferred, as her phrasing of “are you two hiding something from me?” is non-specific. Rather than asking: “are you two living together?”, she asks a question which holds multiple connotations. Due to the ambiguity of her meaning, her question can be observed as a non-explicit version of the: “are you two a couple?” question.

On the surface, this question is a reference to their situation as roommates, however, her phrasing is non-specific, and hints to another cause for “hiding” something. For Faruzan, Kaveh’s blatant evasion of the topic and dismissal of Alhaitham’s name, could easily be inferred as “hiding” a romantic connection – which is something that the player, too, can pick up on from her gesture of suspicion, her inquisitive questioning, and her excitement when piecing together the clues. The ambiguity of her question generates multiple meanings as to why she has surmised the two could be “hiding”.

This overt secrecy in Kaveh’s living with Alhaitham, another man, prompts the player to generate associations between this in-game secrecy and real world queer shame. In this, there is an implication of the need for Kaveh to confirm the status of his relationship between him and Alhaitham. Not only does this scene connotate an ‘outing’, in which a queer character has their queerness forcibly revealed to a heteronormative audience, but this creates a sense of secrecy, which, again, can be interpreted by the player as ‘taboo’.

Kaveh does not want to tell anyone of his living situation out of preserving his stellar reputation, however, Faruzan is missing this context. She relates Alhaitham and Kaveh together in the phrasing “you two”, coupling them together in a secret that they “hid[e]”. The player understands this as indicating to their living situation, however, this creates a separate context which Faruzan has interpreted and that, we, as the audience are not privy to, but can interpret based on her allusions to cohabitation between two men being a secret.

Whilst this is not explicitly romantic within Genshin’s world of nameless sexuality, Faruzan’s ambiguous questioning here draws parallels between real world understanding of sexuality and the connotations of queerness which stems from two men living together in secret.

(Update: For more analyses like this, the essay this is taken from is now uploaded! It can be accessed here and here as as a pdf <3)

#faruzan needs to run away from these two im so sorry you dont deserve this #queercoding is alive and real in genshin impact #but we already knew that #the fact that alhaitham and kaveh are roommates but in secret is already extremely telling #and it's stressed that they are ROOMMATES and not landlord/tenant #this is just one example of queercoding from the queercoding section of the essay but i was going insane over it #i really recommend watching this particular part of a parade of providence because the stills of the animations dont do it justice #also why did faruzan react like THAT #that was not a normal reaction to have if you find out two colleagues platonically live together #the writing genshin is crazy #lets all be crazy together <3 #haikaveh #kavehtham #kavetham #alhaitham #kaveh #haikaveh meta #genshin meta

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starwikia · 2 months

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suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am.

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions.

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT.

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

#warning: do not read this post if you want me to be nice to james somerton. i am extremely mean in this post.#before anyone accuses me of shit i legit never contacted him myself or anyone involved. i am someone who witnessed this behavior repeatedly #again. i hope hes alive and well. the fact is him lying about this WOULD BE THE IDEAL SITUATION. BC NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THAT. but.#he HAS to forever be the victim in his eyes. attempting doesnt automatically mean youre free of sin.#its just terrible to see that regardless whether or not he did do it #its very clear his attempts to run away from his consequences are working on some people #we need to acknowledge that if your shitty ex friend can weaponize a threat to kill themselves #so can this internet person after being called out for horrendous shit #like what was the alterative? what were people supposed to fucking do? be nice about it?#yeah as if poc and trans women arent historically given shit for being 'too mean' about wanting justice.#this isnt just the plagiarism this is the fact a white dude has been parading himself as THE speaker for the gays(tm) but has been using hi #gayness to shield himself from his misogyny racism transphobia and antisemitism #its very clear regardless this means that ppl r going to side with him and then give him benefit of doubt #if you cant handle the heat stay out of the fucking kitchen dude. this is the consequences of your fucking actions.#hes a disgusting person who cant handle being told no so hes going to drag everyone down with him #like. idk this entire situation is frustrating to me.#its also frustrating ppl trying to be moral abt it like 'see! i knew this was bad all along!' no you didnt. shut it.#for the record im like mainly talking abt twit watching those spineless uwu cutesy ppl basically saying hes done noting wrong #oh and also alt righters who are clearly weaponinizing this where u know they wouldnt give a shit if a right ytber did this.#james somerton #idk might delete this later its just. ugh...

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turrondeluxe · 1 year

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Was it love at first sight for Mikey and the tots? Did it take Mikey some time to warm up to them? Super cute AU!!

It was kind of hectic when Mikey saw the tots for the first time ever, while also being emotionally stunted, so the warming up is kind of a slow but surely process!

#GOING TO WRITE A BIT IN HERE SO SIT DOWN #SO #in the comics its not really said exactly how long after mikeys death casey marie produced the babies SO its my city now #in the au casey marie was actually planning on creating the tots from way before meeting mikey #so after mikey gets nearly killed by hiroto she just thinks that the babies are their safest bet on a fighting chance and basically #speed runs the creation of the tots ALL WHILE mikey is still healing and bed ridden #so when mikey does find out about the babies and why they were created (by casey happily telling him); hes actually still hurt and not yet #fully recovered from his nearly fatal wounds #again casey marie basically speed run the tots but she still had everything planned (im aware of the fact that ronin mikey heals very fast)#so then proceeds the mikey talk with april and the whole lair getting set on fire bit and consequently mikey running away with the babies #so the first time mikey ever saw the babies he had not much time to process his feelings #and general ideas except for Need to Get Away With Them #peepaw and babies au #doodles #tmnt #tmnt the last ronin #the las ronin lost years #tmnt odyn #tmnt yi #tmnt uno #tmnt moja #tmnt mikey #tmnt michelangelo #ask #my art

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fidgetspringer-art · 2 months

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✦ Linger ✦

#artists on tumblr #art #illustration #my art #digital art #digital drawing #my ocs #noah #oc art #You know that feeling when you're touch starved as all hell so when someone does touch you the feeling sticks around for hours after?#yeah that #with a side of Noah running away from what he REALLY wants but can't allow himself to keep #meaning he's then repeatedly shocked to realise he does in fact end up missing Martin every time he runs off #i'm still having a lot of fun experimenting with some new stuff #really happy with how this one came out though #i think i finally nailed that balance between texture and smoothness i've been trying to achieve for a while now #at the core of these experimets is the hunt for the style i have in mind for a future comic project #and i think this is very close to what i'm after #I want to use pop-art elements like these more as well #those bold colourful outlines and haphazard shapes slapped on top of things #messing with gouache on the side is genuinely helping me think differently when i paint digitally which is very neat #loving the process so far and excited to see what new skills i can learn from this

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ratsnu · 2 months

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@ovrarches mentioned thomas in cat ears and I physically could not stop myself

#hamilton #hamilton musical #thomas jefferson #hamilton fanart #the fact that the first finished piece on this blog is this cursed thing…#I’m going to post this and then promptly run away from my tablet #I apologize to yalls eyes

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follineo · 16 days

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please, don't give me a chance to draw after watching anything. I get fixated on one two characters and several pages of sketchbook will turn into sketches of him

I wanted to draw Maximus, but in the end…. INCIDENTALLY… I make a page with Thaddeus

meow (Since I'm not sure if the detail is a spoiler or not, I've hidden it)

And, of course, I had to try to draw the Ghoul. I'm still probably not the best at it, but I enjoyed painting him

I mostly drew them from memory while sitting in class to pass the time.

Someday I will definitely learn how to draw ghouls... but okay, who am I lying to? One day I'm gonna learn how to draw real people.

Well now I have to draw something other than sketches… Right?

#fun fact: The scene I remember best was the chicken scene.#I don't know why but I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that the chicken felt at ease in the scene and didn't run away!#I've always had trouble earning trust from chickens...#(<— she wants to have a pet chicken in the future).#the ghoul #cooper howard #thaddeus fallout #thaddeus #squire Thaddeus #I DON'T KNOW WHAT TAG TO USE WITH HIM THERE IS ONLY ONE POST WITH TAGS WITH IT???#fallout #fallout tv show #fallout prime #my art #art #traditional art #traditional drawing #traditional sketch #sketch

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mattzerella-sticks · 2 years

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I think what makes Antony Starr's portrayal of Homelander such a great villain is that his motivation throughout the entire series has always been love and it SHOWS. It's twisted and warped but all Homelander wants is love. He wants to be loved and season 3 did a great job of pushing this to the forefront, as well as showing us that - despite how tall and old he is - he's just a kid. He never matured emotionally because he never received the proper love and attention as a kid, so his whole moral system is warped. That smile at the end, where the crowd cheered for him straight-up murdering an innocent civilian, was so much like the kind a kid gives after doing something funny for a crowd where you can see the wheels turning, going "this will earn me attention." Soldier Boy read him correctly that he was needy, which is why his perfect defeat isn't death but total irrelevance.

And, on the flip side, Billy's anger at the world - which has been such a common motivator amongst villains - is his driving force to combat Homelander and be the 'hero'.

The usual motivators between heroes and villains have been flipped and presented with so much care it's amazing.

The Boys put so much intention and thought into all their character choices and that's what makes the end product not only a masterpiece, but one of the most brilliant satires of our generation.

#the boys #the boys s3 #homelander #billy butcher #like Homelander's true character is also why i think he always bluster about the scorched earth stuff #in fact i think RYAN would be the one who goes scorched Earth because of his teen angst and how easy it is for kids to lash out at that age #homelander always RUNS AWAY when things get tough he was too pampered and fed too many lies #whereas ryan is more like his grandpa #maybe ryan frees soldier boy at the end of season 4 to learn from him and ryan kills mallory?#getting too in depth in the notes...

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eerna · 1 year

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I think Inej's "I will have you without armor" scene is a good example of why you can't just randomly insert scenes from the source into an adaptation and call it a character arc. In the book, Kaz believes the only way to solve his issues is to brute force through them. When he tries to solve his touch repulsion, he does it by removing his gloves right away instead of dealing with the trauma that caused him to wear them in the first place, treating it as a physical failure instead of an emotional one. He isn't trying to solve his trauma, he wants to remove his "weakness". In fact, he is scared of letting go of the emotional damage done to him and reduces himself entirely to a "hurt guy looking for revenge who will destroy everything and everyone", since that's what has been keeping him going for years. Inej notices this, even if she doesn't have the full context. She witnesses him repeatedly trying to brute force his way through their relationship, opening up to her a bit only to shut her away the next second, because his only goal is to keep her by his side and not to actually heal himself. She understands his touch aversion is not just a physical thing, his gloves aren't just a way to cope with it, they are the symbol of everything that makes him a bad person - not his trauma, but the fact that he uses it as an excuse to hurt others. Inej herself has PTSD related to physical touch, but she doesn't let it define her, and she wants to heal and get over her past, so there is no way she could ever settle for a partner who is actively trying NOT to forget at the expense of hurting her and everyone around him. In the show, there is none of this buildup. We still don't know a single thing about Inej's trauma, except that one implied scene in s1 where she was scared of that dude touching her arm. She isn't even present for the wagon scene, which was supposed to be the first time Kaz was plainly suffering and in need of help. And Kaz is not running away from emotional responsibility - he has repeatedly told her how much she means to him, he tried to give her money to skip town, he got her indenture paid off, and all of that BEFORE this scene. So why is she saying it? What is the armor she is talking about?? It's word-for-word the same, but with none of the weight. It almost seems like it's literally just the gloves, just as all the bad-faith readers have been interpreting the scene for years, which makes me believe the writers went with that surface interpretation too and that's really sad

#sab spoilers #sab liveblog #writing kanej essay posts on this fine morning #i almost went off on a tangent abt the gloves being burned and them not saving her but the rain saving her in the incenerator #but i figured that's a bit much #like i just. love them so much. i think im gonna join ina and reread the books i miss them #like even the fact that in the show she can say it to his face because he isn't actively running away from her words speaks volumes #in the book he shuts her off the MOMENT she starts questioning him and turns around and won't look at her

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feroluce · 1 year

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When Al Haitham dreams, it's in shades of sandy blonde and red, metallic gold and feather-blue. His nightmares are colored much the same.

Kaveh leisurely strolls ahead of him, shoes leaving deep treads in the soft desert sand. He keeps a careful distance, arms length, and in return Al Haitham keeps an eye on him, the other man's back dead center in his sights.

He curses the sand in his boots and the long line of footprints he steps into, already the exact shape of the soles of his shoes.

They aren't lost. Al Haitham knows where they are. They've been here before. They are still here.

Kaveh doesn't watch their feet. His head is constantly tipped back with his eyes on the stars and their constellations (of which Al Haitham only knows two, Vultur Volans and Paradisaea). He'll walk right into a cactus like that. Al Haitham yells ahead for him to watch where he's going.

Kaveh reaches up to touch the side of his head in a strange motion, but otherwise there's no acknowledgement. They press on into the dark of night.

Something squelches beneath Al Haitham's boot.

It stops him short, pulls his attention like a magnet and as much as he wants to, he can't ignore it. He doesn't want to lose any more ground. But something won't let him move on. Al Haitham watches as red seeps into the golden sand, spills beyond the border of his bootprint until he slides his foot aside.

It's an ear.

It's a human ear, and there's a heavy earring attached, metallic gold, gems red and green, a familiar shape, a familiar shade-

Al Haitham opens his mouth to yell. Chokes. Swallows the lump in his throat as he quickly restarts his pace. Tries again.

"Hey!"

Another squelch under a hurried footstep. He doesn't stop to look. Al Haitham is pretty sure he knows what it is.

"Kaveh, hey!"

The path becomes littered, little slices and small pieces, fingertips and knuckles, Kaveh's arms once held casually behind his back now strewn along the sands. Every time Al Haitham extends his hand to him, reality warps and bends like the twisted image in a broken mirror, lines mismatched and edges jagged. Kaveh flits just beyond his grasp, fleeting fae, no longer able to hear him or to reach out to him. Al Haitham can only grit his teeth and follow.

His right foot marches forward. His left follows. His right again. His left suddenly doesn't follow, and Al Haitham is thrown off balance and pitches forward, swinging his arms outward to land on his palms and keep his face off the ground, because he's been in the desert enough times to know what a foot suddenly being stuck can mean.

Quicksand.

Al Haitham curses and swears in just about every language he knows as he tries to spread his weight as evenly as possible, stay afloat at the top of it because if he sinks, he knows he'll be done for, and shit, Kaveh.

His neck cranes uncomfortably in his search, Kaveh had only been a few feet in front of him, he can't be sunk much further, and he's in the desert much more often than Al Haitham anyway, he'll be familiar with what to do-

Kaveh stands in front of him, empty sleeves fluttering loose. Still just out of his grasp, still watching the stars. The quicksand is already up to his calves.

"Say, Al Haitham..." It's the first he's spoken this whole time. His voice resonates somewhere deeply nostalgic in Al Haitham's chest, produces a ripple that momentarily stuns his heart.

Kaveh is sinking.

Al Haitham stretches out on his belly as far as he's able, it's quickly up to his knees, Kaveh isn't even trying to redistribute his weight or pull himself out, it's at his thighs, Al Haitham sucks in a breath and yells for him, his hips, yells louder, his waist, Al Haitham's trembling fingertips can almost reach, his chest, Kaveh drops level with him, quicksand about his neck like a noose.

Kaveh's head tips back, back, impossibly far back, until it hangs, angle awkward, and he's looking right past Al Haitham with his tired smile and gouged, blinded sockets full of starlight.

"Do you believe in karma?"

The quicksand swallows him entirely and Al Haitham dives, shoves his arms deep and pushes off with the one foot he'd had left on safe ground, because he can't, he can't, it's not the same without Kaveh, not anymore, he needs him, no one else keeps him sharp, no one else challenges him like Kaveh, if he can just grab him, if he can just pull him back up-

Al Haitham thrashes, against the sands, against gravity, against the hardwood of his bedroom floor. Clumsily scrubs the back of his hand across his face to rub the grit of quicksand and sleep out of his eyes.

Sometimes he thinks he preferred it when the Akasha was still harvesting his dreams.

He pops his head out from under his weighted blanket and lays where he'd fallen out of bed for a moment, blinking blearily against the lamplight shining from his desk in the corner. Deep breaths. His consciousness shifts along the blurred line of nightmare and reality, crosses over the slow transition into wakeful awareness.

He's home, Kaveh is home. It's dark out. The house is dead silent.

He's just going to go check, he tells himself as he peels himself out of his sweat-soaked shirt and roots around for a replacement. He's already losing memories of his nightmare, the details spilling away from him like wet ink, but he knows he needs to see Kaveh. It'll feel better to do something, anything, than try to go straight back to sleep.

He's quiet when he slips out of his bedroom door, because they both keep late hours but their bedrooms are right next to each other, and Al Haitham will never hear the end of it if he wakes his roommate up.

Lights off, door shut. Nothing conclusive. He moves out to the main room.

Kaveh sits on one of those ridiculous sofas he'd ordered three of for some reason, back to him as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. A mostly-empty wine bottle stands tall on the table, next to the cobbled-together remains of an architectural model that's been picked and fussed over for four days straight now.

"Kaveh? What are you doing?"

This earns him an exaggerated startle, but Kaveh doesn't turn to look at him, preoccupied with whatever new sketch or blueprint he probably has in his hands. "Ohhh, nothing," he slurs cheerfully. "Just working. Just thinking."

Kaveh has always been the world's chattiest drinker. Al Haitham waits for the rest of it.

"Say, I think...I think I asked you this years ago, back then, but you never answered me." Al Haitham feels all the blood drain from his face in ominous familiarity, drip cold down the length of his spine. Kaveh sinks into the couch until he can tip his head over the back of it, looking up at him with a tired smile and exhausted eyes.

"Do you believe in karma?"