#in a time where people are encouraged but not enabled to just sit at home and do nothing

[c-e-d-dreamer]

Wreck My Plans, That's My Man

A/N: listen. Look at me. Does this make sense? Is it technically logical? No. It's horny vibes only here, and I need you to roll with it. Anyways! This was all inspired by this beautiful piece of art, and then I was enabled and encouraged and basically wrote this whole thing in like 48 hours... Enjoy? NSFW warning!

Read on AO3

“Hey, Nes, have you seen—”

Cassian's voice trails off, and Nesta hears the distinct sound of keys jangling. She rolls her eyes fondly as she goes back to her book, burrowing deeper against the stack of pillows at her back. She doesn't look up, even as she listens to his boots against the hardwood coming closer, even as that familiar scent of smoke and pine washes over her, even as a sweet kiss is pressed to her hair.

Only when she's finished the page does she slide her bookmark into place and tilt her head back, meeting a pair of bright hazel eyes and a wide, soft smile meant only for her. Cassian is dressed in his usual all black show attire, ripped jeans clinging to his thighs and the low cut of his tank showing off the thick muscles of his arms, the wide breadth of his shoulders and chest, the lines of black ink winding across his golden skin.

“I left your pass on the hook by the door,” Cassian explains, scraping his hair back and out of his face before securing it with a hair-tie. “Are you thinking you'll drive? I can make sure they open the lot for you.”

“No, I'll just get an Uber, and then drive home with you after.”

“Perfect.”

Cassian leans down, slotting their lips together, and Nesta practically melts against him, sighing into the kiss. Too soon, he's pulling away, stealing one last peck to her lips before murmuring his goodbyes and heading for the door. Nesta slumps back against the pillows, closing her eyes and giving herself just one more moment. With a soft sigh, she tosses the blanket off her legs and heaves herself up, padding down the hall to their bedroom to shower and start getting ready.

Nesta’s phone dings where it’s sitting on her vanity, letting her know that her Uber driver is approaching. She takes a moment to straighten out her skirt, to tug up the strap of her lacy, red top. She grabs her phone and her purse, rushing toward the front door. Thankfully, her pass really is right where Cassian left it, and it’s easy enough to toss it on, easy enough to tug on her shoes and her leather jacket, zipping it up to fight off the late October chill.

There’s more traffic than Nesta anticipates, and by the time her Uber driver is dropping her off in front of the venue, they’ve already opened the doors, the queue shuffling forward and people moving about the sidewalk with excitement. It still blows Nesta’s mind seeing the way the queue stretches all the way down the block and around the corner, seeing all these people in tour shirts and with wide grins, all to see the Bat Boys.

“Excuse me,” Nesta says to one of the venue workers directing people. “Which way is the stage door?”

The worker turns his attention to her fully, not even hiding the way he sweeps his eyes over her. When his gaze raises to her eyes again, his face is unimpressed, and he lets out a near derisive snort. “Nice try. Keep dreaming those Wattpad dreams.”

Nesta doesn’t bother biting back her scowl or her eyeroll, practically glaring daggers at the worker as he turns away.

“Guess I’ll find it myself,” she mutters to herself, weaving her way toward the side of the venue building.

“Oh my gosh! Imagine if Cassian points right at you tonight!”

The words give Nesta pause, and she turns to find a couple of girls in the queue. They have their hair and makeup done up, one clad jeans and the other in a short, leather skirt. And both of them have handmade, matching tees declaring ‘Cassian’s Future Wife.’

It had started as a bit. Cassian had informed Nesta that he would be dedicating a song to her on their last tour, a sweet more acoustic number he had penned himself, but when he introduced it to the crowd, he’d instead declared it was for his future wife. Nesta had been pink the entire rest of the night, cheeks and ears burning, but the reaction only seemed to spur Cassian on until he was making the same announcement every night, every show where she was in the audience.

“Imagine if he pulls me out of the crowd and invites me back to his place after the show,” the girl in the skirt offers to her friend.

“Once he sees you, he totally would.”

“I bet he’s amazing in bed too. He’d rock my world, and then I’d be like no need to look any further. You found your future wife.”

The girls laugh and practically squeal in agreement, but Nesta has to swallow down a scoff. She doesn’t know why the conversation scrapes across her skin, why it grates against her nerves. She knows that Cassian and his brothers have a large female following for their band. She knows that she’s the one who asked to keep their relationship more private. She knows that it’s their bed he comes home to each night, that she’s the one he wakes with soft kisses and quiet good mornings, that she gets the ‘I love you’s and the smiles just for her.

But there’s no denying the anger that starts to lick through Nesta’s veins, fire crackling and flaring beneath her skin. There’s no denying the annoyance that twists through her stomach, tightening like vines in her chest. It takes everything within her to bite her tongue around the words she wants to sneer, instead shouldering past the girls and through the crowds to continue her trek toward the side of the building.

When she reaches the back of the building, she spots Cassian's truck in the lot. The pair of stagehands smoking and the big, burly security guard standing near an otherwise nondescript metal door let her know she's found what she's looking for. She unzips her jacket enough that she can pull free her pass, flashing it, but rather than letting her in, the security guard holds out his arm to stop her. His eyes narrow suspiciously, sweeping over her and squinting at her pass.

It has Nesta's anger burning into full-blown rage, into a living, writhing thing that digs its claws into her chest and begs to be released. Her boyfriend is in there. Her boyfriend. And she won't have these people looking at her like she's just some groupie. Won't have these girls thinking they're going home with Cassian.

She's about to give in to the fire, to give in to the cool words poised and ready on the tip of her tongue, when the stage door swings open. Nesta just barely steps back in time before Balthazar goes barreling into her, and she watches as the photographer all but runs to where his SUV is parked, rooting around in his back seat. He jogs back toward the door, pausing when he realizes who's standing there.

“Hey, Nesta,” Balthazar greets with an easy grin, holding up the small case now in his hands. “Need a new SD card already.”

“You know her?” the security guard asks.

Balthazar lets out a quiet laugh. “Seriously?”

He doesn't say anything more, merely shakes his head and vanishes back inside, but at least it's enough to have the security guard look sheepish. At least, he holds the door open and finally allows Nesta to step inside. The steady thrum of bass and drums pulses beneath Nesta's feet, a raspy, feminine voice floating on the air to her, and she knows that the supporting act has already gone on and started the show.

With determined steps, Nesta weaves her way around stagehands and equipment, making her way toward the back of the stage. She slips behind the black curtain splitting the stage in two and hiding the Bat Boys' setup until it's their time, finding Cassian right where she expects him: sitting at his drum kit, casually twirling a drumstick between his fingers while he nods along to the band playing in front of the curtain. Nesta doesn't know if he hears or if he's just always able to sense where she is in a room, but his eyes snap to hers in an instant, that slow, soft grin tugging its way across his face.

“I was beginning to think you were going to stand me up,” Cassian teases lightly when she's close enough.

“I just had to deal with a bunch of shit,” Nesta grumbles, dropping her purse to the ground.

Because she can, she tosses her leg over Cassian's own, straddling his hips. The seat is small but she makes it work, pressing close to him and looping her arms across his shoulders. Cassian's own hands find her hips with ease, holding her steady.

“What kind of shit?”

“Just stupid people.”

Cassian hums, dropping his head so his forehead rests against her collarbones, his thumbs tracing soothing circles against her hip bones. “At least you're here now.”

Nesta hums her own agreement, trying to let the feel of him pressed against her soothe her still sparking nerves. She reaches a hand up, tugging free the hair-tie from Cassian's hair and slipping it onto her wrist for safe keeping. She runs her fingers through the dark, curly strands, scraping her nails against his scalp in the way she knows he loves.

“I had to deal with getting past your little fan club,” Nesta continues, pressing a bit harder with her nails until she feels Cassian sigh against her.

“What can I say? I'm an expert at stealing hearts,” Cassian offers, his voice muffled against her skin, as his hands slide down to the backs of her thighs, teasing just beneath the hem of her skirt.

“There's even a group of girls in the audience with shirts that say 'Cassian's future wife.'”

Cassian pulls his head back, his eyes practically glinting even in the low light of this part of the stage. “Are there?”

Nesta yanks hard on his hair, tugging his head back enough that his entire throat is on display for her. It gives her the perfect view for the way he swallows hard, the way his eyelashes flutter around his darkening hazel eyes.

“But they don't stand a chance, do they?” Nesta snaps, her tone cold and demanding.

Cassian's already shaking his head despite her grip, his expression dazed, before she even finishes speaking. “Not a chance in hell, sweetheart. No one compares to you.”

“Because you're all mine, aren't you?”

“All yours,” Cassian groans, his hips bucking up against her own, pressing his growing hardness against her ass. “Fuck, you're so hot, baby.”

“And you're going to prove it.” It's a statement, not a question, nor a request, and Nesta grinds and circles her hips down against him, chasing the friction, the heat already building between her thighs.

Cassian's hands tighten, sliding further up until he's grasping her ass fully beneath her skirt. “I'll do whatever you want me to.”

“That's what I like to hear,” Nesta tells him, dragging her nail down his temple and cheek and relishing in the full body shudder that takes over Cassian's body. “You're going to touch me, make me come, and then I'm going to fuck you until I'm the only thing you'll think about for the rest of the night, until no other woman will be able to get close to you without smelling sex and my perfume all over you.”

“We only have forty minutes until the show.”

“Better hurry then.”

Rather than let Cassian say anything more, Nesta crashes her mouth against his, nipping and biting at his lips and pressing her tongue into his mouth. Cassian groans as he kisses her back just as hungrily, using his grip on her to move and rock their hips together. One of his hands reaches between them, sliding two fingers over her still clothed center, and Nesta has to pull back to gasp, her hips stuttering at the pressure.

“Fuck, I love how you're always so wet for me,” Cassian whispers against her lips, tracing a teasing circle across her clit. “Absolutely soaked, sweetheart.”

“Less talking, more following directions,” Nesta chastises, canting her hips more firmly against his hand. “We're on a time limit, remember?”

Cassian hums his agreement, slotting their lips back together. At the same moment, he tugs her panties to the side, wasting no time and sinking two fingers inside her. Nesta practically whimpers into his mouth at the stretch, a sound Cassian greedily swallows. He holds his fingers still, and Nesta clenches down around them, hoping to encourage him to move.

“Cassian,” Nesta whines high in the back of her throat, trying to shift her hips against him.

But Cassian uses his free hand to hold her firmly in place, to hold her still against him. He slowly pulls his fingers out, dragging against her walls, before pressing them deep again, just as slow.

“You're just as much mine, you know,” Cassian breathes hotly, repeating the same motion. “You think I don't see every guy and girl staring at you every time we go out?��

“I don't even notice them,” Nesta promises, sliding her hands down to Cassian's shoulders and digging her nails into the skin there. “Besides, at least none of them think they're going to be my future spouse.”

“I bet they want to be.”

“I bet they want to see what I look like when I come too. Maybe, I should ask them to help me instead, since you'd clearly rather take your sweet time.”

Cassian growls, curling his fingers, and Nesta knows that she's won. He starts to work his fingers in earnest, pressing in deep and hard the way he knows she loves. When his thumb joins in, pressing at her clit in tandem, Nesta slumps forward against him. She drops her forehead to his shoulder and bites hard at her bottom lip to quiet the moans and whimpers threatening to spill from her throat. Already, her blood sings, pleasure firing from her every nerve ending, and it's all focused where Cassian's fingers sink into her over and over again.

“Is this what you want, Nes?” He whispers right against her ear. “Is this how I prove it to you?”

“Yes. Fuck, don't stop,” Nesta gasps, turning her head enough that she can dig her teeth into his pulse point, sucking the skin between her lips until she's sure she left a mark.

Cassian's fingers stutter for a moment, and Nesta feels more than she hears the groan trapped in his throat. But since the moment she met him, Cassian has never backed down from a challenge, never allowed himself to be out done. And Nesta has never been more thankful. He squeezes in a third finger, curling all three and pressing against her clit, Nesta's whole body lighting up at the sensation.

He plays her body the way nobody else can, the way that only comes from learning each other's bodies over the years. Every slide, every curl, every press of his fingers sends Nesta cresting higher and higher. Heat pools low in her gut, her whole body tightening and pulling taut as her cunt flutters around Cassian's fingers.

“Come for me, baby. I can feel you're close. Be my good girl and come all over my fingers.”

The praise is all Nesta needs to go crashing head first through her orgasm. She bites at Cassian's shoulder to keep quiet, clenching hard and practically shaking against him. Cassian continues to work her through it, his fingers unrelenting and dragging her orgasm out.

Only when Nesta reaches down and squeezes his wrist, the overstimulation too much, does Cassian slip his fingers free. He brings his hand up to his face, sticking his tongue out and lapping at the pads of his fingers with a soft groan. Nesta is quick to grab his wrist, guiding his hand closer and sucking his fingers into her own mouth. She keeps her eyes on his, not breaking eye contact as she slowly glides and swirls her tongue over each digit.

“Fuck,” Cassian mutters, his hips bucking up as if of their own accord.

The movement reminds Nesta of what's still to come, of the hard length practically waiting for her. It has her blood heating again already, has her feeling empty and clenching around nothing. She pulls her mouth away with a quiet pop, reaching her hands eagerly toward his belt.

“I need you,” Nesta whines, all but yanking the button open and tugging Cassian's jeans and boxers down enough that she can free his cock.

She fists it tightly in her grip, squeezing at the base before sliding her hand up and down, spreading the precum already weeping from the tip. It takes some awkward maneuvering on the too small seat, but Nesta is able to raise herself up enough that she can line him up with her entrance, that she can sink down. No matter how many times they do this, Nesta doesn't think she'll ever get used to the feel of him, the stretch. There's no biting back her moan once he's finally seated to the hilt.

“Mother, save me,” Cassian groans, clearly just as affected. “You take me so well, baby. Nothing feels like you.”

“That's right,” Nesta tells him, clenching around him. “No other cunt will ever squeeze you like this.”

“Good.” Cassian buries a hand in her hair and kisses her hard, tugging her bottom lip between his teeth. “Because no other cock can fill you like mine can.”

Despite Nesta's words earlier, her promise to fuck him until she's all he thinks about, it's Cassian that takes control. His hands grip her hips, guiding her up and down his cock, while he uses his planted feet to thrust up into her hard and fast. Nesta loves it. She loves the way he presses deep with every slap of their hips together. She loves the way she knows she'll have bruises for days across her hip bones.

She buries her hands in Cassian's hair and slams their mouths back together, breathing every moan and whimper past his lips and swallowing his every answering groan. Every snap of his hips, every drag of his cock has Nesta's toes curling in her shoes. Her cunt flutters and clenches around him, desperate to pull him in deeper, to keep him here right where he belongs, keeping her full and stretched.

She knows Cassian is close from the way his hips start to stutter, so she drops a hand between their bodies, finding her clit with ease and working it in time with their movements. It's almost too much. The sensation and feel of their bodies coming together. The sight of Cassian with a flush clinging to his cheeks, with his hazel eyes nearly swallowed whole by his blown out pupils, with his hair a mess from her fingers. He's beautiful and he's hers, and she can feel herself teetering closer and closer to that ledge.

“Come on, Nes,” Cassian pants, pressing their forehead together. “Ladies first. Want to feel you squeezing me. Want to be drenched with you. Come all over my cock.”

Like a marionette on his strings, Nesta's body gives in to his request. She comes hard enough that spots dance in her vision, and she just barely has the foresight to press her free hand to her mouth, biting into her palm to quiet her shout.

Cassian's hips are unrelenting as he chases his own high, as is his still rambling mouth. “That's my good girl. That's it, baby. Fuck, you're so fucking beautiful.”

A few more thrusts, and Cassian buries his face against Nesta's shoulder and groans her name. He practically shakes as he finds his own release, hips still moving shallowly as he spills inside her.

Nesta slumps forward against his chest with a blissful sigh, her body wrung out in the best way. Cassian's arms curl tight around her, holding her close to him, and he turns his head enough that he can press a kiss into her hair.

“Fuck, I love you so much,” Cassian murmurs against her hair. “You should get jealous over crazy fangirls more often.”

Nesta rolls her eyes at the comment, nipping at his skin in retaliation. She sits up enough that she can reach over and grab her discarded purse on the floor, rooting around until she finds the tube of lipstick buried there. She makes quick work swiping the bright red color across her lips, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Cassian's chest, right above the neckline of his tank, right above his heart.

She tilts her head and hums appreciatively, admiring her work, but then Cassian's hands are sliding along her jaw, cradling her face and pulling her into a deep, languid kiss. When they break apart, his mouth is smeared with red. Nesta drags her thumb across his lips to try and help, but it only seems to make it worse, only seems to further emphasize the swollen and kiss-bitten state of them.

“Sorry,” Nesta offers with a wince. “We seem to have made a mess.”

“Good,” Cassian tells her, not even bothering to bite back his smirk.

“You are insufferable.”

“Says the woman still sitting on my cock.”

Nesta scoffs, but she shifts off his lap and to her feet, keeping her thighs pressed tightly together until they can get to the bathroom and clean up properly. It's a slow and awkward walk, especially with Cassian all but plastered along her back, unable to let her go just yet.

When they step out of the bathroom, his brothers are already there and waiting. Between the disheveled state of Cassian's hair and clothes, the lipstick stains and nail marks on his skin, and his wide, shit eating grin, there's no mistaking what happened. Nesta awkwardly clears her throat, tucking a strand of hair that came loose back behind her ear.

“I don't even want to know,” Rhysand mutters. “But we're on, so let's go.”

Cassian leans down, pressing one last kiss to Nesta's cheek. “Stay backstage tonight.”

Nesta frowns at the strange request. She and Feyre always claim one of the balcony boxes for their shows. “Why?”

“Just stay backstage,” is all Cassian offers as he backs away toward the stage lights, toward the screaming fans beyond.

A wink in her direction and he spins around, jogging the rest of the way onto the stage. Nesta can do nothing but continue to frown in confusion, nothing but watch as Cassian and his brothers play the opening song of their set. Only when there's a quiet, surprised laugh from her left does Nesta finally pull her attention away, finding Feyre now standing beside her. At Nesta's questioning look, Feyre holds out her phone, showing off the tweet she has pulled up. It's a photo, clearly taken from the audience, zoomed in and cropped so it shows Cassian behind his drum kit.

To whoever fucked this man's brains out before the concert, I want to say thank you for this look, but also I wish that was ME!!!

The replies to the tweet aren't much better, and already Nesta can feel heat creeping up her neck and threatening to spill across her cheeks.

Hate to see someone else living MY dream

Someone get the FBI on the phone to analyze and find the owner of that lipstick mark! Whose lips are those?

Wordlessly, Nesta hands Feyre's phone back to her, keeping her focus on the stage, on the Bat Boys as they continue their set. It's not long before Nesta knows what song is coming next, her eyes automatically snapping to Cassian's in anticipation, but for once, he pulls his microphone free from its stand and stands up, stepping out from behind his drum kit.

“Velaris, how are we doing tonight?” Cassian greets, earning an echo of screams in response. “Now, you may not know this, but this venue holds a very special place in my heart. You see, a few years back we played here, opening for a little band you might know called The Band of Exiles.”

More screams from the audience at that mention. It has Nesta shaking her head fondly. She still remembers that night, remembers Feyre dragging her and Elain along to see her old school friend's Lucien's band. One night and now all three of them are with musicians. Nesta is sure if their mother was still alive, she'd hate it.

“Great show,” Rhysand comments idly into his own microphone.

“Great tour,” Cassian agrees with a nod. “But you see, what really made that night special was that there was someone in the audience. Someone I wrote this next song about. Someone who for once isn't in the audience but backstage.”

Cassian gestures with his arm to where Nesta's standing, and she can do nothing but stare in shock. She feels like a deer in headlights, her eyes wide and jaw slackened, as Cassian gestures for her with his head. A hard shove in the back from Feyre has Nesta stumbling forward out onto the stage and bright lights.

“What are you doing?” Nesta seethes quietly, walking over to Cassian awkwardly.

“Just remember, Nes,” Cassian tells her, holding a hand over his microphone so it won't pick up their voices. “If you kill me, you'd miss me too much.”

“Cassian.”

“Nesta, I love you so much, it clearly makes me stupid,” Cassian begins, speaking into his microphone again. “It makes me want to shout it from the rooftops, but I suppose this is the next best thing. Since the day that I met you, I knew that you were it for me, that you were going to be my future wife, but what do you say we make it official?” There's no stopping Nesta's gasp as Cassian drops to one knee. “Nesta Archeron, will you marry me?”

In that moment, everything else fades away, the stage, the band, the lights, the crowd. All there is Cassian. Cassian with his bright hazel eyes and his warm, easy laugh. Cassian with his teasing remarks and a fire to twine and match with her own. Cassian with his quiet comfort and the strength and safety in his embrace. Cassian who looked at her nicked and bruised heart and told her it was perfect. Cassian who carved out a place in his chest for her just as surely as she did for him.

“Yes,” Nesta somehow pushes out around the emotions clogging her throat, around the tears prickling in her eyes.

Cassian's answering grin is radiant. He slides the ring onto Nesta's finger, jumping to his feet and pulling her into a kiss. The crowd erupting into loud cheers around them pulls Nesta firmly back to the present. She tries to slip away backstage again, but Cassian catches her hand in his, tugging her to his drum kit and onto his lap, her back pressed firmly to his chest.

“This next song,” Cassian announces into his microphone, picking up his drumsticks again. “Is dedicated to my wife!”

Thankfully, Nesta is able to scurry away after the song. She's pulled into a bone crushing hug by Feyre as soon as she steps backstage, a squealing Elain on FaceTime from whatever city she and Lucien are in today. Various members of the crew offer their own congratulations, Balthazar promising he got some great photos of the whole thing, and Nesta thanks them all quietly. Her heart still pounds between her ribs, the anxiety of being on the stage still swirling in her gut, but as she looks at the ring now glinting on her finger, there’s no fighting the smile that tugs up her lips. No denying the happiness bubbling within her at the future now before her. No denying the warmth that blooms in her chest, tying as securely around her heart as a golden thread.

Nesta lets out a squeal of surprise when strong arms wrapped around her waist suddenly, spinning her around and walking her back until her back is pressed against the wall. Cassian’s eyes are especially bright, sweat still clinging to his face and his skin from their set, further smearing the lipstick stains she left on him.

“Hello, wife,” Cassian greets with a wide grin, caging her in and leaning down and brushing his nose against hers.

“You know just because you proposed, that doesn't actually mean we're married yet.”

“Semantics.”

Nesta rolls her eyes fondly, even as she slips her own arms around Cassian’s waist, keeping him pressed close. “And how long have you been planning this?”

“Like a month? Maybe two?” Cassian offers, shrugging easily.

“And yet you didn't want to stop me when I was being mean earlier?”

“I love it when you're mean,” Cassian tells her, his hands reaching up between them to cradle her jaw. He tilts her face up to him, kissing her sweetly. “I can’t wait for you to be mean to me for the rest of our lives.”

—

Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @moodymelanist @nesquik-arccheron @sv0430 @talkfantasytome @bookstantrash @eirini-thaleia @ubigaia @fromthelibraryofemilyj @luivagr-blog @lifeisntafantasy @superspiritfestival @hiimheresworld @marigold-morelli @sweet-pea1 @emeriethevalkyriegirl @pyxxie @dustjacketmusings @hallway5 @dongjunma @glowing-stick-generation @melonsfantasyworld @isterofimias @goddess-aelin @melphss @theladystardust @a-trifling-matter @blueunoias @kookskoocie @wolfnesta @blurredlamplight @hereforthenessian @skaixo @jmoonjones @burningsnowleopard @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk @ofduskanddreams @rarephloxes @thelovelymadone @books-books-books4ever @tenaciousdiplomatloverprune @that-little-red-head @readergalaxy @thesnugglingduck @kale-theteaqueen @tarquindaddy

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acosf #nessian fanfiction #nessian fic #nesta x cassian #my fic

[twig-tea]

Perfect Propose: A few final thoughts

There is a melancholy to this series because it’s about a romance but it’s also about breaking out of external and internal barriers holding you back from happiness. 

Hiro’s work situation was such an incredible representation of what it feels like to work in a workplace that is out to exploit every second of your time and never thank you for it. I really loved that the show is clear about how people enable their own exploitation in these environments, and how often people don’t leave because they need the idea that their life will be better when they finally do quit, and they’re afraid it isn’t true so they’d rather stay with the devil they know [it's me, I'm people].

I loved Kai finding his way to Hiro when he was at his lowest, and going from a guy who was afraid to ask for anything or make any kind of mark on Hiro’s life, to putting up a wind chime decoration and building a hydroponic vegetable system and asking Hiro to come home to him every night.

Kai’s arc wasn’t as strong or as detailed as Hiro’s, but it was important to the story. Kai has always recognized Hiro's kindness in asking for something from Kai rather than offering something to Kai--Kai has always felt useless but Hiro gave him purpose, as a kid and again as an adult. But Kai needed to learn to want things for himself, something Hiro noticed and encouraged him to do. And when Hiro misses their festival date and realized he’d let Kai down, he offers to make it up to him in two ways (committing to the tomato growing, which was a short-term but tangible commitment to Kai, and agreeing to share a bed), which helped bring them closer together and helped Kai get bolder, sending Hiro those images of the food he was missing to help him continue to want to be home.

Kai got to see Hiro more vulnerable, and feel more wanted, and then got the apology from the old restaurant owner’s son. But when he heard that his presence had held the restaurant owner back from moving in with his son, he took it the wrong way, and defaulted back to thinking he’s a burden who puts the people he loves at risk just by virtue of being there. [There was a kernel of truth in there about how Kai, in making Hiro’s life a little better, also was enabling him to stay longer in that awful job, but he couldn’t see how he was also giving Hiro a reason to quit it.]  

And at the end, when the typical Japanese Run For Your Love failed (which I really enjoyed), the words that got through to Kai were heartbreaking. Hiro doesn’t tell Kai he’s a good presence in his life; he’s already done that and he knows it wouldn’t get through anyway, because he knows Kai. Instead, he reminds Kai that Hiro’s life was already empty and meaningless, so Kai couldn’t possibly make it any worse. He made himself and a relationship with him feel safe. I have been sitting with this all day and it still makes me devastated every time I think about it for more than 30 seconds. Kai made home a place Hiro wanted to be enough that he could actually come home, and Hiro made home safe enough that Kai felt like he could stay there without being afraid he’d ruin it. 

Would I have wanted more of these two together? Absolutely, I could watch Hiro and Kai together for triple this runtime easy. But for me, this show used its time incredibly well and ends in the perfect place. I have enough with what we got to see exactly how they got from where we leave them to how we see them in the show opening credits.

Enough to know they’re going to be ok.

#perfect propose #bl meta #typed so that i can stop thinking it

[wandering-winchesters]

Grief

Summary: The reader loses her grandfather and eventually seeks comfort from Dean.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2,576

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Death, Casket, Grief & Sadness

A/N: This was written mainly for me. The man in this story was based on my grandfather and the memories recounted are my own. I understand if this is not the type of story for you, but it helped me in my grief. Love always x

In the span of two minutes, in the early hours of my otherwise normal Wednesday morning, my world changed forever. Blinking away the fog of sleep, I reached for my phone that was ringing loudly on the nightstand. My cousin’s name was flashing on the screen, a number of missed calls showing in the background a signal of a bigger issue. I hurriedly accept her call, clearing my throat to enable my voice to speak louder than a whisper. 

“Hello?” The words that would follow would break my soul in ways that I didn’t know possible. 

“He’s gone, Y/N. He passed this morning.” Anything said after that I didn’t hear, I couldn’t process that my grandfather was gone. The call was ended and I sat frozen still tangled in my sheets. The warmth of the blankets no longer enough to replace the chill that had overtaken my skin. Before I knew what I was doing, I climbed out of bed and grabbed my duffle. Beginning the process of packing the bare necessities to get by, the need to get to him was suffocating and pressing in on me like a vice. 

Not twenty minutes later, I closed the door to the bunker quietly behind me. I double checked that it was locked, before climbing into the drivers seat of my truck and throwing my bag into the passenger seat. I shot Sam and Dean a quick text, letting them know I was leaving for a few days and not to worry, even though I knew the text would not be enough to convince them of such. The reality of the situation still had not settled, I knew he was gone, but it just didn’t seem possible. I have hours of road ahead of me and focusing on his death was just not an option. The drive crawled by, every mile felt like ten. Every minute an eternity. I was greeted by family, friends and an overwhelming sense of grief. Yet no tears fell, anger was prevalent and boisterous, denial following in its sharp footsteps. Every intended encouragement of “He’s in a better place,” or “He’s no longer in pain.” Only aggravated my anger. Those words meant to comfort and ease my pain, only ignited it further. Everything I saw in his home, reminded me of the good old days. The times spent in the woods bird watching, or in his workshop creating something new and beautiful. The nights where he would sit and hold my hand, singing songs from when he was younger. I found his journal, read the words he had written and saved them for another time the pain too much to bear. 

I had many missed calls from the boys, their texts growing more and more concerned as my silence grew greater. Their demands for an explanation only made my desire to ignore them more prevalent. Even though, I knew deep down they were just concerned for my safety. The days passed quickly, the funeral looming closer and closer. The grip that grief had on me was looming, it was as a reaper themselves had their icy hands wrapped around my lungs and throat. 

Funeral homes were something that I frequented, many of the cases with the Winchester men ended up in a morgue or a funeral home. I had seen countless dead bodies, in many different forms. However, the morning of the funeral walking into the funeral home, seeing the man who raised me was so very different from every time before. There were many people who loved him that came to show their support, a blur of faces and a mass of stories, he had been so very loved. Yet every minute I stood there was soul shatteringly painful. It was exhausting, my body ached almost as much as my heart. I resorted to every self soothing technique I knew, bracing myself for the next person in line that was waiting to share their grief with me. Yet I survived, I made it through to the end. Everyone else had gone home, yet I couldn’t bring myself to leave his side. I could feel his presence surrounding me, embracing me. I bite my lip, holding back the sobs that have been at bay for days now. The ache in my chest so great it brings me to my knees. 

I am caught off guard by familiar strong hands gripping my waist, fully supporting my weight. Dean’s cologne wafts over my senses and the smallest amount of relief floods over me. 

“You don’t have to keep hiding your pain, sweetheart. There’s no shame in crying.” He whispers, tugging me back against his body and wrapping his arms around me. I am so overwhelmed and confused as to how he came to be here, that his words go almost unheard. 

“How did you know I was here?” I ask, clearing my throat to relive the ache ever so slightly. 

“I pinged your phone, found your location and checked the local paper. I figured there must be something going on, especially if you told us you were leaving but then wouldn’t tell us where or why. I found his obituary and drove straight here. I’ve been outside for the last few hours, I wanted to give you space. I noticed everyone else leaving, but didn’t see you. So I came to find you.” His voice is soft, comforting and it awakened the sadness within me that I had refused to allow space for until this moment. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes and silently began to fall. 

“Dean, I-I didn’t want you to see me like this, the weak, crying side of me.” I said, my voice cracking slightly as I spoke. My cheeks heating up as they turn bright red. 

“Y/N, I know it hurts. It’s okay to cry, I’ll be here to wipe your tears, sweetheart.” He says, his thumbs rubbing circles into my skin as he continues to hold me tight against him. I take a couple of steps towards the closed casket, Dean close behind me, his hand securely placed on the small of my back. I rest both of my hands on the lid to the casket and let every emotion free. Before I can stop it, a sob leaves my lips, tears are falling hard and hot. I have never cried like this, I have never felt pain like this. The guttural reaction it pulls from me, is something that I have never experienced before. My vision is blurred by the tears collecting in my eyelashes. The mascara and eyeliner I had applied earlier in the day, surely streaking black remnants down my face. 

“I couldn’t grieve him, De, I had to be strong for everyone else. They were all relying on me to plan this and put everything together. I didn’t have the time to grieve and now I have to say goodbye. I’m not ready to say goodbye.” I get the words out between sobs, turning to bury my head in Dean’s chest, swallowed up in his embrace. He immediately wraps his arms around me once again, his head coming to rest against the top of my own. His lips brushing against my hair as he murmurs words of comfort, pressing a kiss every so often. 

“I’m here, I’m always here.” He whispers once I pull away, he brushes my hair out of my face and caresses my face with his thumb. It’s not until that moment, that I see Sam, he’s sitting silently in the corner of the room. Waiting to offer comfort, but not wanting to encroach on Dean and I. The second our eyes meet, I burst into tears once again. The ache in my chest heavy, surely if I were to die of a broken heart this is what it would feel like. Sam quietly crosses the room and pulls me into his arms, his embrace just as warm and welcoming as Deans. 

“I am so sorry for your loss, Y/N.” He says, his grip tightening momentarily before he lets me go. Dean offers me his hand and I gratefully accept it, allowing him to guide me outside. I steal one last glance at the closed casket and follow him closely. 

“Can I drive you home, sweetheart?” Dean asks, hesitating outside of my truck, his eyes soft and concerned. I nod, not trusting my voice to give a verbal response. He helps me climb into the passenger seat of my truck, and gently shuts my door. I let my head fall back against the seat and my eyes flutter shut. I hear the drivers side door open and feel the truck shift as Dean climbs in and adjusts the seat to his liking. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just didn’t know how.” I open my eyes and glance over at him as he starts the truck, he gives me a small smile and extends his arm resting his hand on my leg. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I understand completely.” We ride in silence for awhile, my mind a constant rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions. My tears have stopped and everything other than my thoughts are quiet. There is rain hitting the roof of the truck, the tires are crunching against the gravel, but the only other sound is Deans fingers lightly tapping against the steering wheel of the car, keeping rhythm to whatever song is playing in his head. 

“What’re you thinking about?” He asks, breaking the silence. I hesitate, trying to gather my thoughts into an actual sentence, instead of the dark depression that is swirling around in my head. 

“Just remembering, the good times.” I say, a small smile breaking the surface of my lips. 

“Care to share?” He asks, his eyes flitting back and forth from the road to my face. I chuckle softly, the memory in my mind floating through my head as an image. 

“Okay, so you remember how my grandparents were together? My grandfather was always super flirtatious towards my grandmother? Well, this one time she was in a bad mood and he was trying to get her to laugh. So he took two balls of yarn, from her knitting project, stuffed them under his button down t-shirt and proceeded to parade around as if he had really big boobs. My cousin and I found it hilarious, my grandmother on the other hand was pissed. Well, for a few minutes, until she finally relaxed and laughed about it. I have the picture printed and hanging in the bunker?” Dean laughs, the clear and deep sound pierces the air around us and I relish the way it hangs in my ears. 

“Do you have anymore you want to talk about?” He asks again, a slight twinkle in his eyes. I think for a minute, weeding through the memories in my head, some more clear than others. 

“One time, after he got sick, he had this woodworking project that he wanted to do. He had all of these buildings on the farm filled to the brim with different types of wood, all different colors and ages. We spent no less than four hours, walking around so he could find just the perfect pieces for his project.” 

It went on like this for awhile, I talked and Dean listened. He let me go on about how my grandfather would always shift the car into neutral when stopping at a stop light, how he would eat cranberry mousse on top of his pumpkin pie at thanksgiving. How he would sing my name as a greeting anytime I called him, or sing the numerous different old jingles from old toothpaste brands or other household products. How much I loved to hear him talk about anything and everything, from the weather to the stock market. The time when I was little, that he took me to a Poinsettia greenhouse that was a four hour drive and he just loved every minute of it. He was just so special and everyone loved him. 

I grow quiet again, the rawness of my grief pulsing within me. Through all of this, exhaustion is creeping up within me. I scoot over the bench seat, getting as close to Dean as the truck will allow and rest my head against his shoulder. My intention was not to sleep, but just to close my burning eyes and seek the slightest comfort. 

However, I fell asleep. Only realizing this when Dean opened the door to the truck and eased me into his arms.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I open my eyes slightly and he shushes me. 

“It’s okay. you needed it, and you looked too peaceful for me to wake you up. Close your eyes, I’ll bring you to bed.” He says, pressing a kiss to my forehead and tucking my head beneath his chin. I do as he says, closing my eyes and allowing the sound of his breathing and the smell of his cologne to overwhelm my senses. I can hear him cross the threshold of the bunker, whispering something to Sam who had driven the Impala back. He makes his way to my bedroom, gently kicking the door open with his foot and closing the distance to my bed quickly. He gingerly sets me down on the sheets, pulling the blankets up over my skin. I open my eyes once again, taking in the sight of the tall older Winchester in front of me, grateful for his friendship and the love he has shown me in this dark time. “Get some sleep, sweetheart, I won’t be far.” He presses another kiss to my skin and turns to leave my room. Fear grabs hold of me and before I can thing, I speak. 

“Dean, will you stay, please?” I whisper, a sob clawing its way out of my lungs. He sighs, not a sigh of frustration, but of empathy. He nods silently, climbing in beside me and gently tugging me against his chest. He wraps his arms around me and presses a kiss against my forehead. 

“It’s not gonna hurt like this forever. It will always be there, but your life will grow and it will hurt less. I promise, Y/N.” He says, stroking my skin gently. The comfort leeching from him, something I needed from the day I got that phone call. I let my eyes fall closed, trying to block out every thought and just exist in this very moment, surrounded by a man who would do anything for me, who would love me unconditionally and always let me be true to my emotions. 

Dean was right, life went on. Even though some days, I wanted it to slow down more than anything, I wanted the world to stop so I could just exist in my grief. I wanted to go back several years before, take more pictures, listen to more of his stories, take more videos of him singing. I longed to hear his voice just one more time, ask him one more question. Instead of focusing on what I couldn’t do, I focused on what I could do. I noticed the birds more, some of his favorite creatures. I watched more sunrises and sunsets, embracing the beauty around me as he would have done. I will always remember the days we had together, I will always long for more. For now though, I will grieve. And that’s okay. 

Tag List: @roseblue373 @jc-winchester @hobby27 @mishreem

@hunterscabin This contains some memories of my grandfather, I hope you will read them. <3

#deanwinchesterxreader #supernatural dean #dean winchester #deanwinchesterblurb #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff #deanwinchesterfluff #sam and dean #dean x you #dean x reader #spn #sam winchester #supernatural fic #supernatural #dean x yn #dean x reader fluff #dean winchester SPN #dean winchester imagine #dean x reader imagine #dean winchester x you #Dean Winchester x Female!Reader #fluff #fluffy #dean fluff #supernatural spn #wanderingwinchesters #dean winchester comfort #dean winchester angst #dean winchester x injured reader

[missamyrisa2]

An office space where everything is covered in feathers and soft fluffy carpet, and I mean everything, the chairs, the cubicle walls, all but the computer screen and key board and mouse, etc.

Uniform? Nude.

Work? Writing tickle erotica.

Their laughter and arousal powers the building.

Every step on that carpet tickles your feet. Oh, you want a yoga ball to sit on? Sure, we have one! Covered in feathers! And watch out for our little cleaning robots! Gotta get all those cum stains outta the carpet lol.

And they just might get confused and climb up and clean you too~

And if someone’s underperforming, they’ll be strapped to a special desk chair and edged as they write, not allowed to cum until the amount of work leaves the boss satisfied, both figuratively and literally.

Bathroom breaks when you’re being disciplined? Sure, but the boss and other people in charge can press a setting on their phone that will enable little robotic arms to stop you from getting yourself off or just place a little ring around your clit or dick to stop you from cumming.

And if everyone finishes their work early? It just becomes one big tickle orgy until the clock hits three thirty, the leftover power being enough to keep the building lit up and powered while everyone drinks water, hydrates, rests, recovers, gets aftercare and lots of good high protein food and encouragement. Then everyone, dressed and refreshed, clocks out and heads home at 5.

Gonna go see the boss? The chair you sit in has electric toothbrushes that can tickle your nipples any time the boss pushes a certain button on their desk.

If you’ve been really bad? Suspended from work, with or without pay. Either way it’s a punishment because you can’t be at work in that tickle heaven.

Don’t be surprised if your coworker leans over your shoulder and starts tickling your nipples or armpits, whispering in your ear, “So, how many stories have you done today? I’m almost done and I’m ready to play~”

How do they reward their employees you may ask?

They get access to special rooms for a day, each with a basket of tickle tools~!

The fabric room ~ full of soft furniture and tickly fabric~!

The giant jacuzzi/spa room~

The tickle library room ~ where there are videos on a big screen and books to read, as well as the special option of feather lingerie with little vibrators installed that go off at random times in the genital area and nipple area too~

Everyone is well taken care of, richly rewarded, and justly and cruelly punished ~

Now that, would be the dream 🤤

🪶 Anon

P.S. How many times did you cum while reading this? 😉

Or if you were in a place you could cum, how many gigglegasms do you think you would’ve gotten out of this and the sheer fantasies about it alone?

Whewwww 🪶 I did not expect that to keep going ~ I dare say you've matched and beaten my penchant for letting a feathery idea grow into endless bouquets of tease~<33 and I love this sooo very much. This is quite a paradise of a workplace and I loooove workplace tickles so much ~ and you caught me absolutely in a place where I have to simply read and be blushy teased ~ my gooosh I could write a whole scenario and ticklegasm at any one of these little bits ~ and I hope everyone loves this as much as I did <333

[terrence-silver]

How would all eras of Terry react to looking after a baby? Not his own, but a family member’s baby that has been put in the care of Terry and beloved for a few days

― A transition between a post-Vietnam returning veteran being universally deemed a 'baby killer' and being saddled with the task of looking after someone else's infant can be a weird (and ironic) one and yes --- Twig, or a young Terry, feels weird and just as ironic indeed. Somewhat out of his element. From one end, he's still at that age where he could easily be that baby's older sibling (or babysitter) if you squint, and yet, burdened with so much life experience and trauma where he might feel infinitely older and oddly disconnected from youth (and even society, to an extent) as a whole. Doesn't mean he's bad at the chore of looking after a kid. Oh, he's actually surprisingly good. Why? Because he fears failure and failing others to a pathological level. He fears being at fault of something befalling that baby once it is given to him to look after, regardless how miniscule. He fears losing control; of the situation. Of his ability to be reliable. Trustworthy. Strong enough to take care of someone weaker for a change, instead of someone else taking care of him. Fears loss of control in whatever capacity. He fears adding to the weight of the survivor's guilt and guilt in general he already suffers from. He's a perfectionist too. He needs to be the best at any task directed his way because ego demands it. And so? Twig might be quite apt at this. To the point he might surprise himself. No, in fact, not everything he touches immediately falls apart and results in ruin. Quite the contrary.

― That baby, child, infant or toddler might not even want to go home after time spent in Terry's care back in the 80's? Why? Because, my god, it is so damn fun. It is a period of time where everything is allowed. Mischief is encouraged. Corruptive influences subtly enacted. All rules, other than Terry's own rules, go flying out the window, so for the time being, a kid would get the impression that the whole world is an elaborate playground. And it is. Terry Silver says it is, so it must be true, right? As a result, a toddler might grow immensely fond of him in no time at all, simply because he's a deliberate and gleeful enabler and he tends to grant people experiences they might not be able to have otherwise to win them over to his side. Wanna be chauffeured in a Bentley and sit on the front seat like an adult? Ever flew in a real helicopter? How about a waiting staff of people for playmates, paid to entertain you, all day, every day? Cake, for breakfast, dinner and supper, made by a Michelin star private chef? Thing is, that toddler gets the Richie Rich treatment while under Terry Silver's care, so reasonably, being parted from Terry could subjectively feel like a dreamworld is being ripped away from their tiny baby hands once it is time to go home and yeah, it would be a lie if we said Terry didn't do this on purpose, ensuring he'll be liked more than the parents (and seem infinitely better by comparison) purely because he can and because he's out to win. Whatever the situation.

― Is there such a thing as a man experiencing 'Empty Nest Syndrome' even when one's nest was never full in the first place? Because, old man Terry certainly does. Old man Terry would, when he's given the task of looking after any child that isn't his. And see, that is immediately the first thought that crosses his mind --- why isn't the child his? Why can't he have something like this, of his own flesh and blood and bone? Something that belongs to him in the literal sense? Something or someone that isn't just temporarily here until it won't be anymore? Isn't it profoundly unfair? Anger-inducing? Isn't it some major bullshit? He has all the resources in the world, all the power, all the money, everything to offer, and yet he's here, someone else's kid in tow. If that child was his, he'd never, ever allow someone else to look after them, away from sight, even for a moment, savoring every moment with them like it could be his last. Yet, for all his devotion and loyalty, he's the one without biological legacy. Yeah, man's pissed off. Possibly peeved. Possibly depressed. Possibly glass in hand, pouring himself some liquor, needing to numb the pain, feeling all the weight of all his regrets and frustrations come to the surface, getting really deeply into his own feelings regarding the entire affair as a whole. If he doesn't have his own progeny, he'll usurp, cajole and win over to his side whoever and whatever he can to fill the hollow.

#terry silver #terry silver twig #twig terry silver #80's terry silver #old man terry #tw; empty nest syndrome #character headcanon #character headcanons #children #babysitting

[skrunksthatwunk]

oh the inherent autistic4autistic romance of harold and maude (1971). im gonna lose my mind

they. i. omg. look i've seen this movie 3 times and it always gets better. it's very good i love it dearly. im not sure what this post is im just gonna talk about them being autistic that's all.

sensory stuff (sensory seeking, in particular):

maude's scent machine (to "give her nose a treat"!!), harold's enjoyment of it

her "switch to the tactile" via things like statues, her encouragement to explore it in a variety of ways, which harold does in some unconventional ways, i.e. sticking his head in lol

when replanting the tree maude mentions a love of dirt for sensory reasons (i believe it's the way it feels but it might be the smell)

that scene where harold's like ooh the day's so nice i feel like somersaulting and she's like yeah!! go do it!! and he's like but id feel stupid and she's like everyone has a right to make an ass of themselves. and then he somersaults. very neurodivergent friend group of them that kind of enabling is literally me and my friends

in the above scene, maude declines harold's offer of a cartwheel and says she feels like yelling, then does so. vocal stim

maude's breath of fire morning routine could also be a vocal stim

arguably maude's fascination with art and them watching the fireworks and model trains could be visual stims, but that's a bit more of a stretch. still.

maude's clutter could also be kind of a visual stim. i like visual clutter for that reason; perhaps she doesn't mind it in her home

maude's focus on music and making sound, something she passes to harold via the banjo, singing (even if imperfectly), etc

they dance :) (harold's dance at the end particularly feels like stimming to me)

harold sitting upside down on the therapist's chair

harold's morning-after bubble blowing could be visual

maude likes stealing different kinds of cars for the variety. this, combined with how she comments on how harold's hearse drives, makes me wonder if it's a vertebral/proprioceptive kinda thing where she likes feeling the cars move differently, like the different leans to their turns and how they start and stop, things like that (mecore)

communication/self expression:

harold expresses himself through faking his death in a variety of gruesome and creative ways

harold drives a hearse!! and he likes it. even as his wardrobe moves from black and he stops going to funerals it's the one thing he holds onto

harold's affect is relatively flat. his smiles are pretty small and rare and he almost never raises his voice

harold makes little to no effort to hold conversation with others besides maude outside of performances (i.e. faking maude's death with uncle victor). a lot of this is because he detests the situations he's in (i.e. the dating service calls or speaking to the motorcycle cop), but even when speaking could theoretically add to the performance, he chooses not to, instead silently showing what he needs to, i.e. in the harakiri scene. in short, mecore

maude infodumps and overshares and i love her. it matches well with harold's relative quiet. like when she's walking to her house after harold drives her home for the first time and she talks about her friend who gave her the keys and tricks to car theft? unnecessary. but wonderful

not sure how to explain this one but when harold begins to cry when telling the chem lab story, maude doesn't say anything like, "im sorry, that sounds really hard", but instead talks about people backing away from life, and does her "give me an L give me an I" L-I-V-E cheer. it's not a typical response, but it's one that resonates with harold (not that saying the former can't be an autism vibe bc i for sure rely on scripts in situations like that Because they're unfamiliar, but it depends person to person yk)

harold falls in love and plans on proposing within a week, potentially suggesting very strong experiences of emotions

i mean. the whole movie is maude being like get weird be authentic explore and love life and then them being weird. unmasking journey starts NOW!!!!

harold knows that the only way to get people to leave him alone is to scare them away, or to make them think he's a lost cause that they can't make "more normal". he tends to do this instead of talking. obv faking his deaths, but also faking maude's murder, showing his mother maude's photo instead of explaining beyond exactly what's needed, torching the car his mother exchanged the hearse for, etc. he knows he won't be accepted and uses his weirdguy vibe to his advantage bc he knows they think he's weird anyway. and also because he doesn't want to talk much in general

when confronted by a cop about stealing a car she's like yeah i took it. and this tree. she doesn't bother lying bc she doesn't see a problem with it and/or because she isn't afraid of the cop

when harold goes to tell his mother that he's planning to marry maude he interrupts her even though she's on the phone multiple times because he Has To Tell Her Now

harold sending the hearse off the cliff at the end as a symbolic but ultimately useless gesture is another silent death he expresses himself with, but one he is rebirthed from

interests/beliefs:

harold's interest in death and destruction are kinda his only hobbies for a while, and are ones that keep him isolated

they go to strangers' funerals for shits. enough said (they also freely admit to not knowing the deceased like they do not care)

maude chooses to end her life at 80. she has a very positive, loving view of death in relation to life and change, and does not see this as sad, nor does she consider her relationship with harold as a reason to stay longer. she's made that decision, and he's just one beautiful component of an endlessly beautiful world she's leaving behind. her perspective is not common, but it's something that drives her throughout the movie, that search for life and whimsy

the romance itself is unusual, but the only ones who question it are outsiders. they both seem unphased by the age gap. the taboo doesn't matter to them at any stage

maude's past of protest could suggest a strong sense of justice, and her disregard of law could suggest an "im not gonna follow this rule if it's not right/doesn't make sense" attitude (she also explicitly ties her unorthodox behavior to her protest experience, saying it's her own, small form of resistance. just against social norms generally)

harold's rejection of normal social conventions i.e. dating, hanging out at funerals/demolition sites, etc. as well as his disdain for the military (particularly the way it manifests when he's tricking victor into not enlisting him by pretending to be bloodthirsty and screaming at maude that she's a commie pig, reflecting how he sees victor/those like him) show a kind of disregard of/distaste for hierarchy and norm (though he does feel those pressures to mask, as shown by the somersaulting conversation)

maude brings a yellow umbrella to a funeral, not even trying to blend in or seem mournful (her use of color is tied to how live flowers are used at funerals rather than dead ones. it's another joy and life thing. this logic of "i don't get why everyone does this. why should i not celebrate life here/in this way?" is straightforward and unaffected by/in spite of norms but IS affected by/because of her world view in a way that's real autistic to me)

misc

maude collects stuff

maude shows an unusual amount of empathy for the tree in town and moves to rescue it. this may be contrasted with her flippantness about the trouble her car stealing may cause people to show both an unusual amount of empathy for inanimate objects/non human beings and low empathy for humans

something so so very autistic to me about harold blowing up the chemistry lab at his boarding school and just. going home. jdjhsksg he didn't tell anyone he just went to bed im--

when maude says all the daisies are different she mentions all kinds of subtle details, which could indicate a higher level of observation than average

maude shows almost no sense of danger or fear. whether she's being questioned by cops in a stolen vehicle or telling her new lover she's poisoned herself, she seems carefree. that could be because of how much horror she's faced, or because of her knowledge that it'll end soon and she won't have to deal with the consequences for long. but it could also be autism

harold has a similar unusual relationship with fear. he's totally fine with the stunts that could easily go wrong and with maude falling into the ocean and with mixing random chemicals in a lab for shits but when it comes to other people putting him in situations he's upset

harold has no friends and is misunderstood and made to change to become more "normal" by everyone except for maude

just. the themes of societal oppression by demanding conformity. and resisting it by living authentically. they're Everywhere in this movie and that's inherently coded towards all kinds of marginalization, neurodivergency included (one way i haven't mentioned that this appears is in the implication that maude is a nazi concentration camp survivor, as evidenced by the numbers tattooed on her wrist. obviously, fascism and eugenics are heavily invested in removing difference, whatever it may be. nazis did focus on autism somewhat (hans asperger was a nazi doctor, after all), so that could be a sort of autistic coding, though it is (understandably) generally not used as such because they were not nearly as much of a focus to them. such coding is much more often for jewish people for that reason. it's more likely that she is/was jewish, or frederick was, or she helped others who were victimized, or resisted, etc. anyway, her drive to live fully regardless of convention could be related to seeing so much death and suffering firsthand, or to a complete rejection of the ideology that brought it and anything that resembles it. it seems influenced by that, at least.)

tl;dr harold and maude is about rejecting small talk and dating and the government and instead smelling things and rolling around in the grass and loving completely life and living weirdstyle. plus they both give me Vibes. that's all go watch harold and maude

#no not everyone who rejects societal norms and is goofy and stims is nd. but these two are <3 #theyre just like me and my buddies fr #harold and maude #unusually frequent beloved movieposting this week huh. neat #look sometimes ya gotta drop an hour on a zero note post for yourself. meditation #anywya this was not meant to be so long and even so it's not comprehensive. theres probably more #but yeag 👍 autism. proof: uhh i like them.also all of this dtuff #also shoutout to my ouppy dog for sitting in the dark on the floor with me while i typed this waiting for me to pet her #autism girlie camaraderie with my dog #her feet are now twitching i think shes dreaming omg i love her sm. my little stinkman my babushka

[chennnington]

Phew I just got home for the day and popped open tumblr to see a lot of people already asked you so many questions, so I will try not repeat :)

3, 7, 17 (this question is me enabling you lmao I love your lore), 22, 27, 38

Thank you so much! And well, you might've enabled me a bit too much XD Sorry for taking so long!

Ask game here

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

You mean apart from the fact that I hibernate for 11 months a year to daydream plots, lore, characters and everything else without ever writing anything down and then vomiting out an entire novel within a month? Cause that’s pretty cursed I think :D

During NaNoWriMo I usually just sit down after work, since I often work from home now that means switching from laptop 1 to laptop 2 on the other table and not getting up until I hit my daily word goal. I might do a bit of exercise in between laptops though :D Oh, and I often buy a bottle of my favorite liqueur before November starts and pour myself one glass for each writing session. And when I take too long to reach my word goal, I also eat dinner in front of my laptop while writing. So far I haven’t created any messes yet :D

So the cursed elements are too much screen time with less than optimal posture, writing most of my novels under the influence of alcohol and touching my keyboard with greasy fingers XD 

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Lately your support and excitement have been so amazing, so thank you for that! <3 Apart from that I love writing fast-paced fight scenes with tons of blood and writing all those jokes. Re-reading older stuff and laughing about my own jokes that I forgot about is nice as well :D 

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Oh shit, what have you done? :D

I don’t even know where to start. Wait, you like mages, so let’s start with mages in Catria. So not everyone has magic abilities, in fact they’re pretty rare. There’s two slightly different ways to have magic, one is hereditary, so when there’s been a mage in the past few generations, the other is awakened, when someone just randomly develops abilities without any known cases in the family. Inherited magic is always the same type, for example if your grandma was a water mage, you’ll be a water mage too. Hereditary magic is a bit weaker than awakened magic, but easier to control. Awakened magic is random, you could turn out to be a fire or water or healing mage or whatever. Awakened magic is stronger than hereditary magic, but also harder to control.

All types of mages are strongly advised to seek out the nearest mage association to get proper training. Trying to control your magic yourself can work, but it’s dangerous and you might die :D And for the Catrian monarchs it’s practical to have all potential mages connected in their association, it can’t hurt to have a bit of control over them. The training starts at the association’s academy, while mages are rather rare, they can usually find the right type of teacher for any apprentice mage who might show up. Some classes consist of only a single pupil though. After they master the basics in theory and practice there’s an exam, after that the adepts are encouraged to go on their adept journey where they travel the lands to work on their magic in new surroundings, find new knowledge or maybe even a new master to train them. After their return and when reaching a certain age, they can take another exam to become full-fledged master mages. Fun fact: Lithurio thought the mission with Andreine might be his adept journey, but if a grumpy assassin tells you on day 1 of your journey that he’ll chop your hands off if he sees any flames near it, practising your magic might not be the best idea. So the only things he learns are swear words in more than one language, high treason and that he hates fighting :D 

The uses of magic are pretty diverse. Many kinds of mages have the potential to be dangerous fighters, but you’re just as likely to find for example a water mage work in an agricultural surrounding to improve the watering of the fields. Many also go into research to figure out better uses for magic to improve the lives of the population. Or they delve deeper in the history of magic, cause it used to be way stronger and common than it is now. If they can figure out what happened, they might be able to discover those lost secrets.

Lithurio is going in that direction btw. He’s an awakened fire mage but he figures out in novel 1 that fighting definitely isn’t his thing. Maybe he’ll go into teaching too. 

In Mezkian the mage situation is a bit more complicated cause Mezkian as a whole is more… complicated at the moment. It used to be a united realm, but after a ton of war it now consists of dozens of small principalities, each with their own dukes who all do what they want and occasionally invade their neighbors to increase their own power. Not a great place for some fancy mage academy. In fact, not a great place for anyone except the dukes and some mercenaries who can make coin pretty easily. So if you grow up in Mezkian, aren’t rich and privileged and discover a magical ability, you probably have other priorities than trying to train it. If you’re really lucky you may find someone who can show you a few things, maybe you manage to practise by yourself and not die, but not many are able to make the journey south to Catria to join the association in Ibragas. 

The situation in Istrion isn’t much better because of all the religious mess, but at least Istrion still has a capital with a mage association, it doesn’t have the monopoly that the one in Ibragas has though. So if you find out you have abilities someone will be like “yeah I know a guy who could teach you some stuff”. 

Oh, and the reason it’s so dangerous to try to teach yourself to use magic is that it’s very difficult for inexperienced mages to know their limits. They have a limited amount of magic energy that they use to conjure or control or whatever, but also to protect themselves. Going beyond these limits either leads to lethal exhaustion or, if you’re unlucky, your magic kills you. If you’re a fire mage, your fire burns you, if you’re a water mage you’ll dry out cause your magic energy tries to use your body moisture and draws it out of your body, wind mages may just explode cause they mess up the air pressure around them and so on. So you gotta learn how to tell when you should better stop doing magic until your magic energy is restored a few days later. Unfortunately you gotta go close to your limit if you wanna improve, or you’ll be lighting candles, do that prank where you give someone an electric shock when they shake your hand, or be a human squirt gun forever instead of being badass. Still nice for party tricks though. 

Also I think it’s funny how not just healing mages can help treat injured people. Fire mages can cauterize wounds, water mages can make sure blood stays inside the body and keeps flowing, lighting mages can use their shocks like a defibrillator - but maybe only let mages near you who know what they’re doing. A lot could go wrong otherwise. 

Alright, let’s leave the mages alone for now before anyone gets killed and move to Gao once again. The peninsula is located in the Southwest of Catria, it’s nice and idyllic and warm enough to go swimming in the ocean all year. If you’re not a wimp or just used to it like the Gao-ka, who spend a lot of time in the water. Or on the water, when they sail to go fishing. 

They’re mostly self-reliant, but they also trade with the mainland. They usually prefer to stay amongst themselves though and they have a strong sense of community. If you take on the tides every day, you gotta have someone to watch your back, I guess. Someone’s boat gets damaged? Everyone helps fix it and the sailor can help work on someone else’s boat until repairs are finished. Someone dies at sea? Everyone makes sure their family is looked after and has everything they need. Gao isn’t too densely populated, the peninsula can’t support an unlimited amount of people. There are several small towns, more like settlements, the biggest one is Torao Gai that could probably be seen as the capital. It’s more of a village though.

Since they usually stay on Gao (unless they go trade), most people won’t even recognize a Gao-ka as Gao-ka unless they look like a walking stereotype with traditional garbs and holding a fish. In Andreine’s case people usually assume he’s from Southern Istrion.

Speaking of Andreine, Gao-ka are usually peace-loving and not exactly fighters. They don’t have a military and law enforcement is pretty much some guys and gals with sticks. It’s not like they’d have a lot to do, it’s almost as if people don’t commit crimes if their community respects them and cares for them. Weird. 

If there’s trouble, both parties come together and try to find a solution that everyone agrees with. That’s one of the main jobs of the Amna, she’s the eldest and the person who comes closest to being the ruler of Gao. Her position is mostly symbolic and ceremonial though. Also, don’t drink her homemade schnaps unless you enjoy suffering.

At some point in history some Catrian monarch sent some soldiers to Gao to check it out. They received a friendly greeting, an invitation to eat with them and figured out that the peninsula didn’t have any interesting natural resources, wasn’t good for farming or building much on it and there were also no good spots for their big, awkward ships. So instead of conquering Gao and claiming it for their monarch, they just left eventually. They did like the food though, even though it was quite unusual to them. 

There’s always a lot to do on Gao, so kids help out early. Those who are too small hang out together and probably play in the water somewhere near the divers while an older child or an adult watches them. And no worries, drowning is extremely uncommon, those kids learn to swim before they can walk. In fact, children aren’t named until they can swim, though admittedly the definition of “swimming” can vary cause some parents can’t wait to name their little ones. There’s a big party after the naming ceremony after all! So if you drop your toddler in the water and they don’t sink immediately and make some kind of movement, congrats, you have a swimmer now! 

But they learn to swim properly soon enough, pretty much all Gao-ka are excellent swimmers and can also hold their breath for a long time. Their underwater vision is great too. 

Kids usually get two first names that are based on those of the parents. For example, Andreine Surino Cerva is the son of Andrak and Suriani. If he was a girl, his first name would be based on his mother’s and the second on his father’s. Same-sex parents have to toss a coin I guess. And trans kids have an easy time picking their name. 

Oh and by the way, last names aren’t exactly last names, they’re just the names of the area a family lives in. There’s a bunch of Cerva families apart from Andreine’s, cause that’s what the part of town is called. Like Leonardo da Vinci :D

And tbh it doesn’t matter too much. The nuclear family is a thing, but most houses have room for additional people from around town who’ll most likely show up unannounced every now and then cause they were in the area or have business there, so they’ll just stay for a few days. A big part of life happens outside anyway. 

Oh, speaking of houses, most of them are relatively simple huts, most of them, especially those near the water, are raised on poles to prevent flooding. The area below the huts is used as storage, or you can just chill in the shade or work there.

Wait, I mentioned divers before and then got distracted. But apart from fishing, diving is also important. You find tons of useful stuff down there after all, from oysters to pen shells that you get sea silk from to seaweeds and all kinds of critters. So by default pretty much all Gao-ka will find a certain amount of pearls during their life. They’re a big deal, every Gao-ka wears their own pearls around their neck. Kids will obviously only have very few, but the older you get, the more pearls you add to your collection. The Amna wears three rows of pearls, and more pearls equal a better social standing. Maybe that’s one reason why Andreine doesn’t like the idea of returning to Gao. He left when he was 11 and only had three pearls by then. For an adult that’s pretty pathetic he thinks. Let’s give him more credit by saying it may be unusual, but understandable in his case.

You can also give pearls away, ideally only a single one though, cause it’s reserved for your heart-person. Like a soulmate, but it doesn’t have to be romantic or anything. Giving a pearl to someone is a big deal. So haha imagine not living on Gao anymore and giving your to someone who’s not a Gao-ka and has no idea what it means and is like “oh nice, thanks” and nothing else. Wait, is that the sound of Andreine sobbing in the distance? Nah, must’ve been the wind :)

There’s also other special occasions where someone may be gifted pearls, but they’ll have to do something really outstanding like save a bunch of lives and be a hero. Then the Amna sends everyone diving and all the pearls they can find go to the hero cause they’re now everyone’s favorite person. You can tell these pearls apart from the hero’s normal pearls because the knots between the individual pearls are different. They consist of three parts and symbolize two hands laid on the heart, a gesture of gratitude and respect.

There’s also a rite of passage connected to the necklace of a Gao-ka too. Roughly between the ages of 10 and 14, a child is encouraged to catch their first catch. It’s the first time they sail out by themselves. But it’s not the usual fishing trip with nets and going after small fish, you’ll want something bigger. There’s a big species of fish that only gets targeted during these first catches, they reach up to 10 feet in length and I’m sure they have a name, but since I’m so well-organized I can’t find it anymore :D there are different approaches to catch one of those big guys, older Gao-ka may give the kid some advice, but ultimately they have to do it by themselves. For many Gao-ka that’s the most martial thing they ever do and ideally they return with a big catch which means big beach party and loads of food! The child has proven they can handle stuff alone. They’re not adults yet of course, but they get more responsibility, can sail out alone (though most parents try to limit that if possible, it is dangerous after all).

The kid then gets a pendant for their necklace. It’s made from fishbone and shaped like a fish, through the quality of the craftsmanship varies. The oldest son gets his father’s pendant, the oldest daughter the mother’s. (Same-sex parents flip another coin). The younger children get a newly crafted one, made from the bones of their own fish. And then the kids wear it either for their whole life or until they have children themselves. So if you meet a Gao-ka couple, you just have to look at their necks to see if they have kids.

Since I mentioned the knots earlier, I should mention that the Gao-ka have a rudimentary type of knot writing. It’s not developed enough to write entire texts, but it’s used to knot blessings into the hem of fishing nets or signify different meanings in the necklaces and stuff like that. Written language isn’t much of a thing on Gao though, knowledge is passed on orally, important events are commemorated in songs that follow a certain structure or in artwork.

I think I gotta stop myself here, cause maybe I should actually start talking about assassins in the lore dump about my novel series about assassins XD

It all started cause one woman hated group projects. Said woman was called Sadrina and she lived about 400 years ago. She was a soldier in the Catrian royal guard (a rather big group project, so to say) and over time it turned out that open battle and that whole honor stuff wasn’t her thing, she preferred more discreet approaches and working alone when someone had to disappear, evidence for crimes had to be secured and whatnot. And she was good at that, so at some point the reigning monarch figured out that her approach, despite not too legal, was interesting. So eventually they just decided to legalize it and gave Sadrina permission to form her own group of like-minded people. Initially said group was supposed to be a part of the Catrian military, but Sadrina successfully argued that more independence and maybe not hanging out and training around the guards’ barracks would help keep the secret organization more secret.

The success of the Sadrinian Order was immense, so over the years they were able to gain more and more independence, started taking contracts from people outside the royal family (as long as it’s for the greater good and the citizens of Catria - that can of course be interpreted rather freely) and grew into the current assassin order everyone knows and loathes :D They never completely cut ties with the Catrian monarchy, it would’ve been dumb for both sides, cause the order was and still is a government-funded organization and they need that money so they can provide their services to everyone and not just rich people. Cause it’d obviously suck if only rich people had access to those services - better let them know they’re not off limit so they behave :)

So the order gets their money from the monarchs, in return the monarchs stated that the royal family and other high-ranking government members are off limits, that contracts given by them have top priority and go to the most skilled members and that all activity of the order must be in the interest of Catria and its people. Which, again, is obviously a very loose definition and sometimes leads to confusion, especially among the guards nowadays: the order and its doings are legal, but murder is a crime. And even though every assassin will carry a document signed by the leader of the order that proves their current actions are an official (and thus legal), collateral damage happens. Sometimes other people who weren’t targets die, sometimes you gotta break into places which is also not too legal - so in the end it depends on the mood of the guard who witnesses the assassin’s doings (or their general opinion of the order). That’s why assassins are great at running away.

In Istrion things are easier. Both Istrion and Mezkian countries used to have their own assassin orders after they saw how well it worked for the Catrian rulers, but they were never as big and successful as the Catrian order. About 50 years ago the one in Istrion was disbanded and outlawed when king Sebald started his whole “progress” stuff. And while the Catrian order sometimes takes contracts in Istrion when they have the means, they gotta be careful cause assassins get killed on sight over there. Isn’t progress amazing?

Mezkian in its divided state couldn’t support an assassin order anymore at some point. Sometimes freelancers show up, but since they gotta earn their own money, most people can’t afford them, so the Catrian order it is! No matter how divided Mezkian is, most people in power agree that having foreigners come to your country to kill your people is uncool. Which means illegal. Though maybe you can secretly hire them to get rid of some other ruler who annoys you? :)

So, if you want assassins, you gotta train them, right? So let’s take a look at that. New apprentices are found by just looking around or hearing about some dude/gal who shows promise. You’ll want someone who’s not too old, usually in their late teens, but knows how to wield some kind of weapon and isn’t overly pacifist. They should’ve killed before so you know they have the guts to actualy do it. The order’s informant network is usually pretty reliable, and since the order isn’t illegal, potential new members can just openly talk about how it would be cool to be an assassin in a crowded tavern and then wait. Though you might get beaten up cause there are tons of people who don’t like assassins :D

So since the order is rather quick to hire new apprentices, they need a way to make sure they won’t betray the order. They achieve that by not training them at the headquarter that’s allegedly hidden somewhere in the Catrian mountains deep in the forest, but at other locations. That’s one of the reasons why the assassin order runs some farms. They’re far away from other buildings and located in the flatlands, so you can easily watch out for intruders (who’ll just find a normal farm with a surprisingly high number of farm hands). So the apprentices who need more physical fitness do the hard manual farm labor (the crops they grow help feed the hungry assassins at the headquarter btw and the order’S horses are kept there too) and everyone gets basic lessons in assassin stuff. Since one of the order’s specialities is it’s flexibility and most apprentices have some kind of fighting background, you wanna embrace the skills and talents they already have, nurture them and turn them into something useful.

 It’s not as fun as it sounds, depending on the style of the instructor (and the leader of the order) training can be gruelling and may include casualities. Once the instructor deems someone good and also trustworthy enough, they contact the headquarter and the leader comes over to test the apprentice. That’s even less fun and usually includes getting beaten up by an experienced assassin who arrived with the leader. Survivors who pass are finally taken to the headquarter. Congrats, now you’re back at the bottom of the food chain! You were among the strongest at the apprentice farm, but now you get beaten up on a regular basis in more advanced and interesting ways again! At least the farm labor is over. Though maybe that’s not a good thing. 

At the headquarter, training continues, in an advanced and interesting (and sometimes lethal) way. They have better equipment and more potential instructors there, at the farms they only have stuff that can be hidden quickly in case of unexpected visitors, while the headquarter has means to ensure unexpected visitors aren’t a thing.

The order’s flexibility shows here too. There are some fixed lessons, experienced assassins who aren’t on a contract are strongly advised to attend them too, cause training is important and having more sparring partners is great too. But many lessons are more like “XYZ learned some funky stuff, if you’re interested, meet them at 3pm next week and they’ll demonstrate”. Those things don’t even have to be fight related, some alchemy, psychology, anatomy, sneaking or climbing, knowledge about history and politics etc. doesn’t hurt either. SInce there’s hardly any time when everyone is at the headquarter, cause you obviously want your members to do their job instead of just lounging around, the order actually has something like a bulletin board with current information, training offers/queries and all kinds of other stuff. It also has a pin for each member so they can mark whether they’re at the headquarter or away on a contract (or dead). 

During their training at the headquarter, an apprentice might get the chance to join an assassin on a mission, but only to watch. But usually that privilege is limited to the aspirants - they’re advanced apprentices who are considered for promotion to full-fledged assassins. The leader has a close eye on an aspirant and once they deem them good enough, it’s time for the final test that includes the bloodstone. It sounds cooler than it is, it’s literally just some fist-sized stone that happens to be reddish and a bit translucent. It has been in the order for centuries now. For the final test, the bloodstone is given to an experienced assassin the leader chooses. The aspirant is then told that the bloodstone is in the game - their task is to get it and bring it back to the leader. There’s usually a time limit or two weeks, the aspirant has no idea which assassin has the stone (there are hints though) and the person who has the stone may just leave the headquarter and disappear. So the aspirant has to track them down and then figure out how to get the stone. The possibilities are endless! Nobody is allowed to help the aspirant and killing and maiming isn’t allowed, but accidents happen. Broken bones, cuts and stab wounds often happen on both sides though.

If the aspirant manages to get the bloodstone and returns it to the leader within the deadline, they’re promoted to first-rank assassins. There are eight ranks, you mainly get promoted by successfully fulfilling contracts but there are other conditions too. A higher rank means more privileges, but mainly more responsibility, you’ll be expected to teach the apprentices more on top of your regular contracts and stuff like that. 

A newly promoted first rank assassin may get their first contract alone immediately, obviously an easier one. Or the leader may decide to send them on a mission with an experienced assassin who mentors them a bit, but lets them do stuff by themselves too. Oh, and though in general assassins get sent on missions alone, contracts for two or more assassins do exist. The leader decides who’s the best for each contract.

Yay nice, I meant to only focus on the training, but I happened to include some more stuff :D I think I should stop here. According to Google Docs this answer is 4,161 words long now and it’s super understandable if you didn’t read all of it :D 

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

Ugh, not organized at all. I hardly write anything down, if I ever hit my head and suffer from amnesia I won’t be able to continue writing I guess :D

I write in Google Docs and tbh I might’ve lost the overview over the different documents. There’s of course one for each novel, but also a NaNoWriMo version for each novel that includes just what I write during NaNoWriMo so I won’t accidentally manipulate my word count. Then there’s documents with deleted scenes that I edited out, also an edited version of novel 1 and a few others. I also have a collection of scenes or dialogue bits somewhere, probably in one of the documents where it doesn’t belong. 

Apart from Google Docs I also use the notes app on my phone sometimes, but only for really important stuff like potential names or things I really don’t wanna forget. But then again, recently I rediscovered an older note with a list of potential names that I had completely forgotten about, so writing down isn’t a guarantee that I’ll remember something XD

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

For novel 1 it was Jaheel. When he first appeared, I had already spent more than a year with Andreine. Plus, most of the stuff after that was still written from Andreine’s perspective, so getting Jaheel right while still considering Andreine’s emotions and opinion of him wasn’t easy. And isn’t. Andreine is definitely an unreliable narrator in this regard :D 

For novel 2 it’s Sadrina. Not the one I mentioned who founded the assassin order 400 years ago, but a young girl who happens to share her name for a reason that was once plot relevant but isn’t anymore :D I find balancing her a bit difficult. On one hand she completed her assassin training and earned the title, on the other hand she’s still a 17-year-old girl on her first contract. A contract that should’ve gone to someone more experienced. I mean sure, she has Andreine with her to mentor her, but that in itself is less than ideal :D So she can’t be too incompetent, but also not too badass. She currently cries a lot, but tbh same^^

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

I think this is pretty identical to #3 :D

Also, not writing anything for months and then randonly infodumping 4k words is pretty sus.

I read that cats tend to see us as huge, incompetent kittens. That’s why they baby-talk to us and bring us dead mics cause we’re too stupid to hunt. If cats bring you living prey, that’s actually a compliment cause they consider you capable of hunting and killing it yourself (at 3am under the bed. yay.)

My boy Iker used to sleep curled around my head every night and groomed my hair, apparently that’s a sign he accepted me into his family and also wanted to protect me at night. He was the sweetest baby. To stay on topic, here he is as an assassin! That’s my old shower curtain, I gave it to him cause he loved it. It rustles and you can hide underneath it!

#aoc #andreine #lithurio #jaheel #I'd totally answer more :D #also if anything is unclear or you want more info just ask away :D #oh and I couldn't bring myself to proofread this abomination so I hope everything makes sense XD

[kevinszabojrplumbing]

5 Accessories to Include in Your Makeup Room

Makeup has been a part and parcel of every woman’s daily routine for hundreds of years. Whether for a special occasion, going out on the town or just to make oneself feel better makeup has been one tool that people have used to enhance their looks and self-expression. The development of social media and the beauty industry has created a trend for women to have another room specifically used as a makeup kit –a makeup room. This room is not just the vanity; it’s an oasis where one can preen in peace and indulge. This article discusses five main accessories for a makeup room and their importance in making the whole procedure enjoyable.

 1. Vanity Table

The focal point of any makeup room is the vanity table. Not only does it make the room look stylish but you also get a place to sit and apply your makeup. Any makeup lover will need a vanity table that has an oversized mirror so as to enable easy application of the makeup and lots of storage space, and comfortable seating arrangement. It also guarantees the order of your makeup stock to ensure that you easily get what is required.

 2. Good Lighting

Appropriate lighting is one crucial element in makeup application. Of course, natural light is the best option but if that’s not available then buying a good quality makeup mirror with lights makes all the difference. It not only helps to achieve flawless makeup application but also makes your dressing room look classy. In addition to this, with the available adjustable lighting options you can always get that perfect look suitable for any occasion.

 3. Makeup Brush Holders

The makeup brushes are an essential tool for any woman who loves to wear makeup, hence, proper organization and storage are very important. A makeup brush holder not only keeps your brushes in the best condition possible but also makes a make-up room look more beautiful. Different types of brush holders come in all shapes and sizes made from various materials so you have to go for the one that suits your storage needs as well as matches with vanity table.

 4. Jewelry Stand

One of the examples is a jewelry stand that can be referred to as an accessory that often remains unnoticed but it has a very important influence on your makeup room. It not only keeps your jewelry tidy but also provides a touch of class to your vanity. Options are numerous, ranging from simple stands to complex ones with several levels which would be perfect for presenting your focus items.

 5. Wigs

Wigs have evolved into a fashion complement and the makeup room is best suited for their storage. Regardless of the size, whether you have a small collection or an entire wig, one thing that should be kept in place is your makeup room. You can also invest in a wig stand or plain storage box for proper storing them ready to wear.

 Other Uses for a Makeup Room 

With scented candles or essential oil diffusers, soft music, and comfortable seats one can make their makeup room a pleasant atmosphere. This allows one to run away from the mundane routine of life and take some time off to relax. They can perform their skincare routine, cover the face, or simply drink tea while enjoying her makeup collection.

Makeup rooms can also act as a platform for creativity among those who love doing makeup. It could be a testing ground for different makeup styles, color play, and texture experimentation as well as technique mastery. It is easy to look like a professionally done-up person without having to leave home, provided that one has the right lighting and a properly stocked vanity.

It can also be a small photo studio for those who always like to upload their makeup looks on social media platforms. Proper lighting and background help people to take impressive photos of their makeup looks which they can share via social media platforms. This not only makes the room livelier but also encourages creativity and uniqueness.

A makeup room is not just your make-up vanity or storage space for your collection of cosmetics. It is a refuge of self-indulgence at the same time, it also serves as an epicenter for beautifying. The addition of these five accessories, a vanity table, lighting good lightening makeup brush holders jewelry stand, and a wig stand to your make-up will enhance it.

  Written by Hannah, Author for Hope & Healing Boutique

#This Summer #Guest Author #Guest Blogger #Guest Contributor #Guest Post #Guest Writer #Best Ways To Prevent The Most Common Plumbing Problems #Plumbing Problems #broken pipes #leaking pipes #clogged toilets #garbage disposals #prevent drains from clogging #plumber in tinley park #tinley park plumbers #plumber in orland park #orland park plumbers #plumber in homer glen #homer glen plumbers #plumber in frankfort #frankfort plumbers #plumber in mokena #mokena plumbers #plumber in lemont #lemont plumbers #plumber in new lenox #new lenox plumbers #plumber in oak forest #oak forest plumbers #plumber in homewood

[noivysneverland]

I dont normally post politics on here, but some of y'all leftists here are demonizing president Biden way too much. I get it, he wasn't my first choice in 2020 either but some of y'all seem to be insisting on another fascist presidency in november. One that will be fueled by hatred, spite, and outright fury against the very core of the USA.

I get that we're all fucking frustrated with what's happening in Palestine, goodness knows the zion-fascist machine that is running isreal may as well be the second coming of adolf fucking hitler with regards to the outright systematic genocide of the Palestinian people and the destruction of their homes. But I need to posit one itty bitty crucial little question that I think every single pro-Palestine american seems to be actively blocking from their heads is.

Do you really think it would be better under another a god forsaken gop administration, no less a far right one by the previous demon who is the current front runner for the party of modern fascism in this country? I think the answer to that question is easy to figure out. There's more at stake in the world than Palestine as well; what about Ukraine, which for the last two years has been holding out against another fascist invasion in the form of the putrid regime that has actively been working to undermine our own political system here at home in the USA. What do you think a return of the previous disaster in chief would enable the putrid regime to do not only to Ukraine, but to every single former soviet territory. he has just today (feb 10th, 2024) said that he would actively ask and encourage putrid to attack NATO allies and sit out our own military from intervening. While the russian military has been proven far, far less capable than putrid would like to admit, it has proven that it will throw as many people at a conflict as possible, regardless of the cost of the lives involved.

Biden's done some absolutely monumental things. The one I think about the most because I know a lot of friends who have had their lives and livelihoods changed for the better (for now) is what he's done with the price of Insulin. I'm sure ANYONE in this country with Diabetes (an estimated 27,000,000 people by the way) can tell you; putting into place a federal hard maximum on the price of life-saving Insulin and now the out of pocket price for Insulin is $35 per vial. This is down from a 2017 price of TWO-HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS ($275). That price we have now, along with so many other things are under a direct threat of being removed if the previous dictator is allowed to run our country again. Along side the ACA, Medicare, Medicaid, and so many other things on a federal level that many americans depend on.

LGBT+ rights, which have already been under attack far more aggressively than ever before in every single red-government state. What do you think will happen if the previous dictator is allowed to run our country again.

If that demon is allowed to enter office again, Project 2025; perhaps the scariest document I have ever read, will be implemented in as many ways as it can. If you haven't looked at the details of that, I really suggest that you do; you will be affected by it. I told myself back in October 2016 that there was absolutely no way that demon could become president. Today, many of you that I've seen on my feeds, not just here but on other social media pages, are going to directly contribute to that demons return to power through your own tinted lenses. What's happening in Palestine is out right genocidal. But some of the loudest voices here are screaming at biden because he can't stop a senate and house that are a majority of the red fascists from forcing their terms on funding Israel. And don't even get me started about the supreme court, which has three demon-appointed "justices" that will remain there for life-time terms.

We all thought that there was no way the demon could become president in 2016. Well, look at where we are now. Will you let it happen again this year, 2024?

#screaming into the void

[mortallystarstruckdinosaur]

Sitting

Before agitating how to ameliorate sitting at the office, let's first begin by talking about what we're sitting on. Your pelvis consists of several bones. You have your two large hipsterism bones, or your ilium bones.

The lower part of the iliums are your ischiums which are your sitting bones. The sacrum is an important bone, considered by once societies as a" sacred" bone, hence the name. It's set up where the base of your chine or backbone meet the pelvis. Let's not forget the coccyx, the tailbone.

This is the affected deconstruction of the pelvis, at least the bones anyway. Now let's talk how we're putting our pelvis to use while we're sitting at the office( or academy, or home). maybe a modified condescending position would be a better way to sit at the office. There's a difference between sitting and condescending. One is more likely lead to a better posture and conceivably make you feel more, indeed as you're sitting at the office. Read More

When we sit at the office we mimic what has been done for centuries. In some corridor of the world, condescending rather than sitting is the normal way to rest for short ages of time. relatively frequently, because they deign, the people of these countries maintain a desirable posture. I suggest that we all consider a modified condescending position rather than a typical sitting position. I will not suggest that you go to your office and throw out your president and deign before your computer to begin the day( come to suppose of it, perhaps that is an idea). Let's learn further about duly sitting at the office.

Allow me to suggest the ensuing way to deign rather than sit, both at the office and at home. You'll find as you assume a condescending position that your reverse, legs, pelvis, their ligaments, joints, and chines are stretched nearly to their apex. That is to say they're stretched veritably well.

This stretching is a good way to acquire a nice posture. You can assume this posture while sitting at the office and I will bandy just how. When sitting at the office rightly, choose a president erected low to the ground but with a high reverse to rest your chine.( Unfortunately high backed chairpersons are hard to find). Choose one where the seat will be roughly 18 elevation from the ground. It's asked that your knees are above your hips.

This position of the knees helps to acquire a good posture while sitting at the office.still, use a footstool, If your president seat is advanced than two bases from the bottom. Again, while sitting at the office, the object is to place your knees to be slightly above your hips. This lengthens the ham muscles and reduces fat buildup on the buttocks. Dragging the leg muscles helps to gain a pleasing posture. 3. Borrow a sitting posture at the office that helps you look, feel, and perform better. spare a little forward and raise your chin just a little.

A lowered, modified condescending position allows for a better sitting posture to take place, and your eyes are further position to the computer screen( great for a balanced head position). A modified deigned seating position encourages your head and neck to be deposited more aligned with the chine( and helps to remove a double chin and a" too forward" head position).

Who knew that sitting at the office duly would have so numerous advantages. To gain poise while sitting at the office it's stylish that your head pivots and balances upon the upmost fragment of your chine. Balance and turn your head at the C1 fragment, and not the C7 fragment set up at the top of the shoulders.

While sitting at a modified condescending position, one's casket rises during this sitting adaption. What this position is doing is uncurling the reverse, raising the shoulders, and enabling you to sit in a more balanced upper body posture. We're removing the inordinate wind from our lower reverse and relieving the pressure on our sacrum and pelvis.

We're conforming a tilted pelvis so that it's further vertical to the ground. We're therefore rightly sitting on our ischiums, our sitting bones. Any time we can lighten our cargo we do it, especially at the sacrum, this sensitive position of our body. A note of important information is that the small of the reverse is the whim-whams center of our body. Impulses are transferred to and from our extremities, small of the reverse, and brain at super quick pets. We want no impedance at this" junction box", the small of the reverse. Let's continue to learn how to ameliorate our posture by sitting well at the office.

Once seated in this further deigned position, take a moment to enjoy the adaptation to your body and posture. Notice the sense of the upward drive of your upper body from your duly deposited pelvis. Note that your sacrum bone is centered, and is now a proper, strong base for your chine. Also your entire, more aligned chine pushes your head advanced. Yes it's possible to sit at the office and ameliorate your posture.

Overall you've acquired a better posture and are enjoying a more better seating position while sitting at the office. Let's talk about the physiology of our body when sitting. This will help you understand what happens as we ameliorate our posture and you change for the better. When dragging the chine and balancing the head atop a free and more aligned, perpendicular neck, the shoulders are pulled up by the muscles attached to the clavicles, scapula and sternum.

These muscles are attached to your cranium and are doing the job of suspending the shoulders at a advanced position. A parallel would be like the ropes from the mast of a sailing boat that hold up the yardarms( your shoulders).

These ropes raise the cruises so they can capture the wind. We are getting a little off content but this is great to know. Free your neck muscles and neck bones. Align your cervical bones( neck bones) with your entire chine. Again, ensure the head is deposited and balanced above the shoulders so that it, and you, have grace and poise. Loosen you jaw. Flash back to turn your head at the C1 backbone of your chine. Breath fluently as your more open casket depression accepts further air like the cruises of a sailing vessel.

Doing this while sitting at the office will bring about good posture and will probably ameliorate life at the office. maybe while sitting at the office, and at home, you use a" physio ball to gain good posture." This air filled exercise ball comes in colorful sizes and they aren't precious. When you sit on one, you're generally deposited so that your bottom is lower than your knees. Be set for a drill when using this ball.

Talk about a unresistant exercise. Not! If you have any twist or turn in your pelvis, the ball will properly note this. If your iliums are rotated this could mean you have an upslip or downslip where the sacrum meet the iliums. The sacrum could be rotated as well. This puts a stress on the iliums and the chine and overall. The muscles of your reverse, butt, and legs will have to acclimate duly so that the pain you may feel from your muscle imbalance can be soothed. Using the physio ball you will be engaging muscles that you should have been using all along for a good posture.

There's some pain when replacing the muscles you were using inaptly, while you had poor posture. Your old way of using the wrong muscles will not be at all happy when you acclimate your way of sitting at the office. Your proper muscles that you're using to sit are now literally fighting against the indecorous muscles that you've used preliminarily. In other words, you're inhibiting your old habits and old habits die hard.

#Sitting #Youtube

[vorphyxredtech]

Top seven advice for parents of preschoolers for better parenting

Children’s academic, social, and emotional development is promoted by good parenting. You can encourage a child’s full development by using these top parenting tips for pre-schoolers. Raising children is one of the most difficult and gratifying tasks in the world. The preschool years are fun and full of new experiences, but they can also be challenging for parents and children as they learn to articulate their needs and wants Good parenting aims to instil in children traits like independence, self-reliance, integrity, honesty, discipline, kindness, and cooperation.

7 Best Parenting Tips for Preschoolers (3–5 Years Old)

Children between the ages of three and five who attend preschool need extra attention and supervision. Here is some parenting advice for young children that you may utilise to encourage their growth.

Appreciate them

Gratify them for their hard work. By praising them, you may increase their sense of assurance and self-worth, which is essential for enabling them to lead better and more fulfilling lives. Inform them calmly and without raising your voice if they do something improperly. Negative effects will result if you yell at your youngster. If you use foul words or hurtful statements, it will affect and unsettle their brain Furthermore, children who grow up in homes where the parents constantly yell are more likely to have poor consciousness or experience more desperation.

2. Talk with them

Talking to your child in whole sentences and using language appropriate for adults will aid in the development of strong language skills. Help him use the proper words and expressions. Science has demonstrated that a toddler’s brain continues to function at its highest level throughout his or her life. Try to converse with them more frequently at this time in order to help them grow a robust vocabulary when they get older.

Babies use vocalization to communicate a wide range of wants and feelings.

For older children, questions are a helpful learning tool. Keep in mind to emphasise certain ideas that you wish to instil in children as you try to reply to their questions.

3. Make them disciplined

One of the most important parenting advice for toddlers is this. Create rules that are distinct from one another and that your children can follow. Make sure to communicate these rules in a way that is appropriate for their age. Children should learn appropriate behaviour and self control through punishment. Don’t be excessively rigorous when teaching your youngster suitable social skills. Encourage them to grow up to be capable, useful individuals. Setting limits and persistently upholding them form the foundation of successful discipline.

4. Set up a daily schedule

Routines increase predictability in a child’s environment and help them learn routine occurrences, processes, and self-assigned expectations. For varied activities like playing, eating, snacking, sleeping, etc., the two of you must adhere to a set routine. It will aid in your time management efforts and teach your youngster discipline in addition to helping you.

5. Storytelling or reading

Reading helps people communicate and develops a variety of other talents, including creativity, critical thinking, emotional maturity, and problem-solving. Small children might not feel comfortable sitting still for a long time. To make kids more interested in reading stories, begin by reading or telling them tales for just five minutes each day.

6. Jolly them up

Pre-schoolers need to be physically active for at least four hours every day. Join your child in some games. Give your child age-appropriate playthings like softballs or toy bats. Playing benefits children and teenagers’ cognitive, physical, social, and mental health.

7. Limit usage of gadgets

Today’s kids spend most of their time on technology, including computers, smartphones, TVs, and other devices. Children who use electronics excessively may spend less time outside and interacting with others. Limit their daily time spent on devices to 1–2 hours to help them focus more on their other skills.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we can say that the aforementioned parenting advice is beneficial for pre-schooler’s behavior and general development. Be sure to listen carefully to your child when you are speaking with them. If you maintain open communication with your child, the two of you will get along better.

Provide them with calm instructions and make sure they comprehend them rather than reprimanding them for their errors. These parenting essentials can help you overcome some common obstacles, help you feel more confident as a parent, and enjoy your child’s development.

#educateyourself #ar vr companies #education

[brookpub]

Life of Live music in Cambridge

Live music in Cambridge has been a major part of the culture for many years. It is a thriving community with many musicians, venues and events.

The Vibrant Live-Music Scene in Cambridge:

The live music scene in Cambridge is very diverse and caters to all tastes, from classical to rock, jazz to folk, blues to world music. Many venues host live music events, including pubs, bars, nightclubs and even some colleges.

Several festivals in the city celebrate all kinds of musical styles, including the Cambridge Folk Festival, which takes place every year at Cherry Hinton Hall.

The Cambridge music scene is one of the most vibrant in the U.K. The city has a wide range of live music venues and festivals, catering to all tastes from jazz to rock and everything in between.

Cambridge Folk Festival

Cambridge Rock Festival

Cambridge Jazz Festival

Festival of India

Christmas Carols

Live music in Cambridge, U.K is slowly but surely becoming more diverse as electronic music becomes more prevalent.

The recent shift towards electronic music has created a need for live bands to diversify their sound and adapt to the new musical landscape. Live bands are now incorporating elements of electronica into their setlists, which has enabled them to stay relevant and appealing to an audience that is increasingly listening to electronic music.

It's well-known that music has been around for a very long time. It can be difficult to keep up with the changes, but it's interesting to see how it has evolved over the years. There are different types out there that are popular today, and they can be classified as genres and types.

Styles of Music Performed in Cambridge:

In Cambridge, there are many types of music that different artists play. It can include styles and types of music, including classical, rock, jazz, hip-hop and pop.

Dining out is always an experience, but there's something about treating yourself to a fine meal accompanied by live music that makes it seem like more than just another night out. A dinner or drinks with live music is a delight, whether it's just background music to accompany food and talk or the major part of the evening when chatter is not encouraged.

Live music is evolving:

Live music at bars has been evolving for some time. Many folks who don't frequent bars have a stereotypical picture of a pub band: a bunch of grizzled old guys jamming on battered instruments that smell like beer and cigarettes. Yet, the reality is that the scene has evolved tremendously over the past twenty years, and nowhere is this more apparent than in Cambridge. Cambridge is home to many bars that often host live musical performances. It would be hard to assess all of the pubs in Cambridge that have live music in a single sitting.

Hearing live music while drinking is part of the traditional British pub experience. It's common to find live music in bars, and these events usually take place on the weekends and feature local artists. The bar often hosts performances by up-and-coming bands, who get their first taste of performing for a paying audience here. If the band is any good, the news will quickly travel, and soon fans will travel from all over the nation to watch them perform. However, if the audience isn't into the music, they won't return. Some bars even have regular performances by in-house bands.

In addition to drinking, pubs provide a variety of other amenities. Additionally, they may serve as vital community hubs where neighbours and students can unwind together after a busy day. You might often feel at ease at a pub because of the familiar atmosphere and little social pressure.

Local Bands Playing Live:

Pubs provide a variety of live music options. Some hold acoustic evenings when local musicians may perform and encourage audience members to sing along. Other pubs could welcome bands hoping to be discovered by record companies and producers, or they might even host well-known artists. Live music at bars is fantastic because it helps people relax and forget about their troubles by providing an opportunity to sing, listen to, or dance to their favourite tunes. If you round off the evening with a tasty dinner and some beverages, you've got a fantastic social experience.

Live music may boost profits and customer loyalty at bars and pubs, but only if done properly. Jazz and blues are usually the go-to musical selections for pubs and restaurants, particularly in Cambridge.

Picking music that fits the atmosphere of your establishment is essential. You don't want your business to suffer because of the poor music selection. Live rock or pop music is great for clubs and pubs with a lively atmosphere, while acoustic or classical music is more appropriate for quieter venues like wine bars.

Finding the Best Cambridge Pubs for Live Music:

If you're looking for a bar featuring live music in Cambridge, you won't have trouble finding one. However, picking the best tavern or pub to enjoy live music may be challenging. Pick the finest places to listen to music and eat based on your preferences. When you click on a specific bar or pub, you'll be sent to a page with a review and details on the available beverages and menu items.

The academic town of Cambridge is often recognised as one of England's most welcoming urban centres. Students are often more liberal than the general public. However, they are still wary about what they do in their spare time. 

Cambridge has a very distinct nightlife compared to London. There aren't any huge nightclubs or lounges, but lots of laid-back pubs serve tasty food. Additionally, Cambridge is home to numerous excellent watering holes with helpful staff and a pleasant atmosphere. You may visit a local watering hole on Fridays and Saturdays until 2 a.m. After a rigorous academic week, you may relax and have some fun.

Happy hour is offered year-round, and the bars host several events. Live music, karaoke, and quiz nights will keep you engaged until the night's end. Restaurants and cafés that provide tea and coffee attract those who want a more sedate evening out. As Halloween season is approaching we shall be serving some good food and drinks.

Please stop by Brook Pub the next time you're in Cambridge to hear some of the city's finest live music. We're excited to provide you with delicious pub fare and refreshing beverages.

#Live music in Cambridge #Brookpub live music #Vibrant live music #Cambridge pubs

[monradboyer3]

Who in our midst hasn't had trouble with a few undesirable lbs occasionally? Once your goal is usually to shed weigh in the healthful way however, it can occasionally be tough to know the most effective way to shed all those persistent lbs, just as much false information exists on fat loss. Please read on for confirmed weight loss tactics!

If you are looking to shed the pounds, avoid temptation. Do not get anything for your personal kitchen pantry which has the potential to tempt you out of your objectives. By pass all of the sweet snack food sort food. As an alternative, complete your cupboards with all of your preferred fruits and vegetables. You can enjoy on refreshing vegetables and fruits and feel no a sense of guilt. If you already move for losing weight, this is a straightforward hint to simply improve your final results. Begin incorporating short bursts of jogging at typical time periods during your strolling routine. This additional hard work will burn more calories, and you will probably complete your path a little bit more easily. The extra impact will help you to improve your bones, also. An inactive lifestyle results in health issues, among those simply being an increase in weight. The body were not supposed to sit down for a long time, but most people have work desk careers that make us sit for most of the time. Resting for this very long also can lead to rear issues. So each hr, operate and move for a few minutes or so. Go have a drink water, utilize the restroom or speak with a colleague. It can help you improve your metabolic rate. Your whole body will thank you for it. A great tip for weight reduction and allowing you to be conscious of what you really are ingesting would be to history every one of the food items and refreshments which you take in to get a week. Don't adjust your diet program in any respect when you accomplish this, you will be just getting stock of the things you're investing in the mouth area. Following you've seriously saved your food and drink absorption, you can make wholesome alterations. A great way to enable you to lose fat would be to consider after a vegetarian diet regime. Red-colored meats and lots of dairy food are rich in body fat and bad cholesterol. After a vegan meals are a great way to live wholesome where you can lot more power for training. Spend quality time with your close friends carrying out one thing energetic. Not only will it promote one to keep going if you think fatigued or sweaty, however it improves your feeling and enables you to have got a better time. Knock some calories out with a vacation to kickboxing type instead of going to watch a film. If you want to shed weight, it's essential to understand that there's no secret bullet that's going to make that extra weight miraculously vanish. The basic solution is straightforward. Consume less, do more exercise. Decrease the level of calorie consumption you take in, and raise the number of you burn, and you'll learn to see these extra pounds disappear. When you find yourself dieting and going to an event or function, make sure you eat a sizeable meal before you leave your home. This may keep you from having the vast majority of treats and poor party foods. If you are intending to drink, stay away from caloric-extensive merged drinks, liquors, and alcohol in support of a average servicing of wines. Satisfying your self when you meet up with goals will assist you to continue to be encouraged when attempting to lose weight. When you go through 60 minutes in the fitness treadmill or exercise motorcycle, purchase anything wonderful later on. Probably acquire oneself newer and more effective clothes, take a trip for the cinema or possess a evening out with good friends. If you're trying to lose weight, stay away from the classic concept of possessing three food each day. As an alternative, have got a lighting morning meal, a proper snack food between, a light-weight meal, another snack food, then the lighting supper. Getting 5 various tiny food every day will keep your you from mindlessly snacking because of your lowered all round calorie intake. Should satta be possessing a tough time with weightloss programs which can be traditional, consider utilizing an alternative such as "alli". This medication results in a certain number of fat to never be ingested from the system. It is actually wiped out throughout the bowels alternatively. This may be beneficial for everyone who has problems with eating adjustment. Find a way to manage your stress and anxiety on a regular basis to maximize weight loss. In case you are developing a battle with your sweetheart or man, remedy it right away which means you are certainly not considering it for hours on end. Anxiety stops your body from undertaking all-natural processes, constraining fat loss. Certainly, anything in this post has talked for your needs. Probably it had been some things which you didn't know just before or possibly, it was something you were actually conscious of, but experienced overlooked. In any event, you are able to acquire these concepts and hit the floor working, on your own mission to eventually lose individuals extra few pounds.

#satta matka

[nyctarian]

just sitting here stewing about lib authors who blame poor people insead of publishers when they dont make as much money as they want

#saltblogging #booksalt #like...most people dont read books thru the ia #i learned about the ia lending services in literal librarian school #people who use those resources #(WHICH AGAIN ARE LEGALLY SCANNED BOOKS W STRICT LENDING LIMITATIONS) #are dedicated readers who spend money on books #and you look at the current state of things #w sky high unemployment and evictions #no gov assistance #in a time where people are encouraged but not enabled to just sit at home and do nothing #and your response is #THIS IS PIRACY THERE ISNT A PUBLISHER BAILOUT!!! #you are fucking cruel and evil #like the publishers dont need a bailout they monopolize the industry #and also lol no one is as generous w free ebooks/high % off sales then indie publishers #ur big name pubs will be fine #and also. yeah no one else is getting bailed out either #demand the government give you money #demand your publisher pay fair advances to its authors #(and demand amazon treat its employees fairly--they are the biggest bookseller out their and im sure you #certainly are as mad at them as the free scanned books at the ia right?) #but yelling at poor people who werent gonna buy your book anyways bc the option was free lending piracy or nothing #is the cruelest option #anyways dont yell at people to use libby instead of piracy #use your library instead of piracy #if you are going to move the goalposts on what you call piracy #to whatever makes you more money

[seita]

some coping mechanism are wrong and do need to be discussed or changed!! neurodivergency doesn’t give u an excuse to hurt or trigger others!! coping mechanisms don’t exist in vaccums... and you and ur followers are harming real people by saying such

i was going to ignore most everything i got on the subject because quite frankly i'm over it. every opposing take either doesn't make sense, is completely ignorant, or is just plain stupid.

this one? is just idiocy.

so i'm gonna take the time to explain some things to you.

i cannot begun to express the ignorance and privilege that is seeped into every single word of this ask. i am actually baffled that you genuinely thought that this was, in any way shape or form, okay. or that you even thought this was a hot take at all.

you do not have any jurisdiction or power to tell other people that the way they cope is wrong. that is so beyond disgusting.

do you know why people choose to write dark content to cope?

a few reasons that range from: gives power/comfort over their trauma to lets them release emotions that otherwise have no outlet.

beyond that is that some people don’t have the resources or support system needed to cope in other ways. all they may have is a pen and paper or a laptop. they may not live in a home where they were believed, they may still be trapped with their abuser, or they may just plain not be able to afford therapy.

but do you know what the fun thing is? plenty of these people who choose to cope in this way are advised by their therapists to do it. like myself.

i used to write in little notebooks as a child -- really dark, foul shit and i didn’t understand why i did it. i talked to my therapist and i was told it’s a great outlet! i have to say writing is probably one of the top reasons i managed to get to the space i am in today.

when i learned the wonders of the internet growing up, i also sought out to READ the content. of course, it was very hard to find because of people like you who do nothing but shame it simply because of the real world values the crimes possess and for some reason refuse to see it in a fictional, helpful way.

it’s a very real and very valid coping mechanism: both reading and writing are incredibly beneficial.

this outlet also helps people just the same as it can hurt people. i don’t know who or what you think you’re doing but survivors who are triggered by the content of a darker nature WILL NOT CLICK ON IT TO READ IT. why are you acting like survivors and victims are brainless, mindless idiots who will read something clearly labeled with their triggers as if there’s some invisible force dictating them too?

and who are you? a highschool student? a college student? a therapist? what right gives you, a random person on the internet, to dictate something that has been ADVISED and PROVEN to help with coping to trauma to deem it wrong?

im gonna go ahead and say your morality. nothing beyond that.

you see dark content as just disgusting porn fucked up people jerk off to but it’s beyond that. and very obviously something you do not understand and most likely refuse to understand.

you think because you think something is wrong that it should be wrong all around. you don’t like it so it shouldn’t be done.

i hate to break it to you but the real world isn’t going to cater to you. i sure as fuck won’t. i’m not in charge of making you feel happy or content on the internet. if you log on to your computer and expect people to babysit you and make you feel comforted and safe -- you’re doing the internet wrong.

you only choose to see the negative side to this. you see that people can be triggered or hurt by this content and that’s valid. people can and will be. but there’s also a HUGE number that people like you choose to ignore and invalidate under the guise of protecting survivors only to hurt them at the same time. it doesn’t make sense.

you’re not trying to advocate and protect people -- you’re trying to make the fandom and content match up to your puritan ideals and fantasies. the world isn’t like that. people are always going to do things you don’t like and have opposing opinions on things. stop trying to act like you’re doing this for the greater good -- a martyr, hero complex isn’t a cute look and we can see exactly what you’re doing.

i don’t understand why it’s so hard to accept that dark content does not have as big of a negative impact as you think it does.

i also don’t understand how other survivors can see what people like me do and tell us we’re wrong. i don’t go out of my way to shame you and say “oh you don’t like dark content? weird.” i mind my own fucking business and stay away from blogs that don’t want to interact with dark content writers.

i am respectful always. i never attack people for having opposing opinions. i never attack people personally. people who write dark content don’t do that shit.

you know who does?

your side.

you know what someone said to me in an effort to shame me and bully me for writing what i write? they called my writing shit -- the thing i use to cope and help other cope. i’ve never gone on anon or off anon and told someone their writing was shit.

i also had someone ask me why i think being a victim made me special. i’m gonna let you sit and figure out exactly what is wrong with that question.

those are the types of people you’re enabling and encouraging. if you people just left dark writers alone we wouldn’t hurt anyone. you all preach this shit about how dark content is SOOOOO easily availble anyone can read it. that is false. the only way to find dark content is to ALREADY BE ASSOCIATING WITH PEOPLE WHO CREATE OR CONSUME DARK CONTENT. it’s not tagged in the main tags. it will not show up in your orbit or be blasted on your page because someone posted it.

and then you people say “oh minors will be convinced it’s okay!!!” no. minors aren’t as stupid as you seem to think they are. they fully know and understand exactly what they’re getting into. they see the word rape and know in real life THAT’S BAD.

you don’t want a slasher film and think  “oh wow look at him killin all those people but not getting caught I COULD DO THAT TOO!!!!” no. you don’t. because you know it’s wrong.

y’all are so high up on you moral horse that you think everyone around you is fucking stupid and has no common sense.

if someone thinks what they read in fiction makes it okay in real life, there was already something wrong with them to begin with.

but no, you’ll pull out anything on earth to try and get your point across. from secondhand trauma to it just being offensive.

and i hate to be the one to tell you this but...all this crusading is doing basically nothing in the long run. you know what happened yesterday from being called out? i lost 9 followers.

and then i gained 20. and now im only 100 away from 16,000.

what did all of this achieve? what does any of this even do?

whenever you people do this what exactly is it you want? do you expect us to just...stop...because you don’t like it? are you really so self-centered and self-righteous that you think you’re THAT important. do you really believe your opinion and voice is the loudest and most important to consider?

because it really isn’t.

just as you’re sitting here telling me you’re wanting to protect people -- i’m wanting to help people. do you know how many people i’ve had thank me for making them feel better about their owwn fantasies that they’d previously been ashamed of because they’re a victim? or how many people thank me for providing the content they rely on to cope?

i’m gonna go ahead and say those are the people i want to help. those are the people i care about. and i don’t know what it’s gonna take for you people to understand that i will not stop until i DECIDE to.

this is the internet. none of your opinions or words have any long-lasting, realistic effect on me, my person, or my life. i could delete my blog and in a month nothing any of you have said to me over this course of time will have impacted me in the long term. of course, other people are more sensitive and can get hurt by this discourse.

but i don’t. i’m a lot more stubborn and thick-skinned than you people may seem to realize.

your words will continue to go in one ear and out the other. i know where i stand. i know where i want to remain.

your morality nor your opinions are blanket rules that everyone should abide by. get some perspective and learn your place in the world before speaking on things you clearly cannot understand.

#tw discourse #💌.afton #faceless #tw trauma #and that. #is all i have to say about that.

[kevinszabojrplumbing]

5 Accessories to Include in Your Makeup Room

Makeup has been a part and parcel of every woman’s daily routine for hundreds of years. Whether for a special occasion, going out on the town or just to make oneself feel better makeup has been one tool that people have used to enhance their looks and self-expression. The development of social media and the beauty industry has created a trend for women to have another room specifically used as a makeup kit –a makeup room. This room is not just the vanity; it’s an oasis where one can preen in peace and indulge. This article discusses five main accessories for a makeup room and their importance in making the whole procedure enjoyable.

 1. Vanity Table

The focal point of any makeup room is the vanity table. Not only does it make the room look stylish but you also get a place to sit and apply your makeup. Any makeup lover will need a vanity table that has an oversized mirror so as to enable easy application of the makeup and lots of storage space, and comfortable seating arrangement. It also guarantees the order of your makeup stock to ensure that you easily get what is required.

 2. Good Lighting

Appropriate lighting is one crucial element in makeup application. Of course, natural light is the best option but if that’s not available then buying a good quality makeup mirror with lights makes all the difference. It not only helps to achieve flawless makeup application but also makes your dressing room look classy. In addition to this, with the available adjustable lighting options you can always get that perfect look suitable for any occasion.

 3. Makeup Brush Holders

The makeup brushes are an essential tool for any woman who loves to wear makeup, hence, proper organization and storage are very important. A makeup brush holder not only keeps your brushes in the best condition possible but also makes a make-up room look more beautiful. Different types of brush holders come in all shapes and sizes made from various materials so you have to go for the one that suits your storage needs as well as matches with vanity table.

 4. Jewelry Stand

One of the examples is a jewelry stand that can be referred to as an accessory that often remains unnoticed but it has a very important influence on your makeup room. It not only keeps your jewelry tidy but also provides a touch of class to your vanity. Options are numerous, ranging from simple stands to complex ones with several levels which would be perfect for presenting your focus items.

 5. Wigs

Wigs have evolved into a fashion complement and the makeup room is best suited for their storage. Regardless of the size, whether you have a small collection or an entire wig, one thing that should be kept in place is your makeup room. You can also invest in a wig stand or plain storage box for proper storing them ready to wear.

 Other Uses for a Makeup Room 

With scented candles or essential oil diffusers, soft music, and comfortable seats one can make their makeup room a pleasant atmosphere. This allows one to run away from the mundane routine of life and take some time off to relax. They can perform their skincare routine, cover the face, or simply drink tea while enjoying her makeup collection.

Makeup rooms can also act as a platform for creativity among those who love doing makeup. It could be a testing ground for different makeup styles, color play, and texture experimentation as well as technique mastery. It is easy to look like a professionally done-up person without having to leave home, provided that one has the right lighting and a properly stocked vanity.

It can also be a small photo studio for those who always like to upload their makeup looks on social media platforms. Proper lighting and background help people to take impressive photos of their makeup looks which they can share via social media platforms. This not only makes the room livelier but also encourages creativity and uniqueness.

A makeup room is not just your make-up vanity or storage space for your collection of cosmetics. It is a refuge of self-indulgence at the same time, it also serves as an epicenter for beautifying. The addition of these five accessories, a vanity table, lighting good lightening makeup brush holders jewelry stand, and a wig stand to your make-up will enhance it.

  Written by Hannah, Author for Hope & Healing Boutique

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