#im talking about my ex gf

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Just found out my two siblings are in my mom's will, but not me. Also my grandpa has told the entire family about his engagement. Except for me. Also my dad told my siblings that he and my mom bought a plot of land. Can you guess who they haven't told?

#these tags are about to be a massive trauma dump tbh so avoid if you want #when i was fifteen i came out as trans. and my mom was terrible about it. and my dad was up for a promotion so we were considering moving #and i found a list of my moms pros and cons for moving. on the pros was 'people there dont know about (deadname)' #so that was ideal for a suicidal fifteen year old to find. and tonight i just learned that im not in her will #both of my siblings are. but im not. and its just always been like this #im treated like im not part of the family anymore. and it's been that way since i was fifteen #i heard from my brother that my grandpa is engaged. and he told both my siblings about it directly. he never told me #i reach out to my parents. i never hear back. my aprents text my sibling to check on me (sib and i live together) #everything is kind of shit rn. one of my rats is dying. my family doesnt love me. im broke. my best friend and i arent really talking #because he fucked my ex gf and now things arent really the same anymore. strangely enough. he doesnt reach out anymore #so i have no one to talk to about any of this shit #last night i was crying about my rat and i guess my roommate heard it cuz this morning they said #'are you okay? if you ever need someone to talk to who will never bring it up again you can talk to me' #and thats the most loving thing ive heard from someone in months. from a woman ive known since august #im. just. at a loss. since i found out tonight. that im not in my mom's will #its not about money. or assets. its about the fact that im her fucking child and both of her other children are in it but im not #after she dies shes willing to help them out but i can get fucked ig #i wonder if im gonna be invited to my grandpas wedding. i wonder if any of them would want me at their funeral #i wonder if any of them would come to mine

[hammondb3organcistern]

Don’t wanna be ‘friends’ (using this term extremely loosely) with this one girl i’m in the same cohort/course with…her belief system + the way she perceives other people and the world is so…i cannot think of a better word so: SHUDDERING. but she’s friends with my circle of cohort/friends so she’ll always be in my circle…?

#she cheated with her ex when her ex already had a new girlfriend and she didn’t feel any remorse at all #she justified her cheating by saying sex is just sex w/her ex & that she wanted her ex’s gf (which she hasn’t even met or known) to feel the #(same things she did hurt; betrayed; cheated on) and i’m like. you’re a fucking cheater? that’s so horrible for you to do? #you don’t even know this girl? she came to be with ur ex in an appropriate way? wdym she deserves to be cheated on because you did… #BY ANOTHER MAN? not even this specific ex? #literally so insane. and she’s like: im going to therapy blah blah blah but clearly you lack the respect and consciousness #me and my friend who listened to her said that she should confess that they cheated with each other to the poor girl but she’s like… #‘not my business’ uhm the fuck it is? you were a third party. and saying that the boy should be the one confessing…uhm WHY NOT U BOTH? #and their relationship (ex and girl) CONTINUED even after the fact and they broke up only recently (early march) and idk if the girl knew #like. truly. i’ve never met someone so incredibly…vile? i guess? what’s a better word for it 😭 #and what’s also so inappropriate about her is that she has like a bf and she keeps droning on about her ex like rent free in her mind #keeps flirting w other men; looking at them and saying she has crushes and all that and want to make a move. like. YOU HAVE A BF? #i don’t wanna be near someone like that. and what’s unfortunate is my close friend is close with her so i’m a ‘friend’ BY association #and that friend of mine also can’t disentangle herself from her bec she’s her first ever friend in uni lmao. so there’s sentimentality there #& we talked abt this w each other; how disappointing it was for her to be like that. and how my friend feels she’s complacent in being okay #with cheating (but she’s not) and i’m like…ugh. #probably one of the worst people i’ve ever met i’m so sorry to say that genuinely. when i’m with her in a grp (i NEVER hang out w her alone) #i feel like my principles r being hijacked and violated and being engulfed by something i’ve kept myself away from lol

[polithicc]

ugh.

#ex gf texted me a link to an article about an artist we both like and then we talked briefly about a different artist we would listen to #together and i just wish there was an easy way for us to be friends #like it’s so obvious that we’re overcompensating by being nice and putting this wxcited tone on our messages #and it makes me sad bc Im still angry about the things she said to me and how I let her treat me #but also the way I acted #and im not in love with her anymore but now I’m struggling to separate the romantic and the platonic #like this is someone I was in love with and saw myself with in the long term and now we live in different cities #and are speaking for the first time in 10 months #and I think a big part of me has forgiven her but it feels silly to have done so #and a part of mw knows that if we had met with the intention to become friends we would’ve been great friends #amd yes we were freinds when we dated of course #but we met with the intention to hook up/date #so it wasn’t platonic from the get go #anyway why am i even upset about this it’s not like I have to see her in person #and I know I don’t owe her my friendship #but still #ugh

[soopysoap]

man smth about escaping reality through day dreaming about fantasies that you cling onto just to get you through the day and then becoming thoroughly more disconnected to real life until it feels like the only thing that can bring you back is your fantasy becoming a reality always gets me idk

#writes this on a notepad under 'what to talk to my therapist about next session' #agh #like secret life of walter mitty newsies santa fe crazy ex gf les mis on my own rose from gypsy once upon a december anastasia etc etc #first two 100% i sob @ them every time #QUIET AND WHEN I GROW UP FROM MATILDA THE MUSICAL #THOSE TOO #and then the tragedy of getting the thing u so desperately wanted and needed for years only to realize that youre still unhappy. that the pr #problem is with YOU. and the repeating cycle of then disconnecting entirely from *that* reality to chase another fantasy that wont make you #any happier #'when i grow up i will be strong enough to fight the creatures that you have to fight beneath the bed each night to be a grown up' #-miss honey in her 20s who is suffering from severe trauma and unable to escape said traum and stuck in a cycle of unhealthy repetition due #to the trauma #she was also singing this after a bunch of children who were unhappy with were they were in life and with the way they were treated sang thi #this. the entirety of the song they sing about how much they want to be grown up and how life will be better once they are and then it cuts #to this woman who has been 'grown up' for years now and who is wishing for the same thing they are. she herself sings the lines 'when i grow #up i will be brave enough to fight the creatures' etc etc #this was all over the place its 4 innthe morning im so tired just. agh. #it will never not make me cry. #rambles

[dannydanoninoo]

Aro moment at 1am: HOW in the loving fuck does my 12 y/o cousin has an ex girlfriend at that age you're supposed to be interested in that?!

Like again I found boys (and girls) cute but from there getting into the whole exes thing? Like again at at that I age I didn't get it and I still don't get it

#crushes #aro things #just me rambling about that at 1 am yessir #srsly Im super confused about that being a thing bc of my 2 in ny life and this kid is talking about ex girlfriends and a new gf #aro #aromantic #aro stuff #danny rambles #also hey I'm back but in Luz's voice bc literally the last month has been my own day of unity aka hell

[ablednt]

Being a systeen in an adult system while also being the host is such an experience because like yeah there's the obvious "I have to act the body's age most of the time bc singlets don't know how to interact with systeens" thing but like you'll end up playing therapist for your headmates toxic girlfriends who tell you to call them mom like ok points for accuracy but ma'am I am 15 and I do not want to bear the brunt of your relationship problems. You know this all of our dynamics hinged around the fact a systeen was frontstuck why are you talking shit about me and putting all this pressure on me I am internally a child come on

#vent #i guess? #also if any of said exes see this fuck off idc abt u anymore im allowed to talk abt stuff like this #but like it was actually insane how much they stressed my being a systeen and acted supportive #only to freak the fuck out when they decided their gf sucked and instead of breaking up with her and gauging our reaction #they gave the whole system 'the silent treatment' for months and the shit talked me to friends bc I was 'too nice to be genuine' #and 'guilt tripping them' by repeatedly reassuring them that their boundaries are important and getting anxious around them #like just POV you tell a teenager to call you mom and talk about being family but then you have beef with one singular adult headmate #and you're like mmmmm i will focus all of this on the teenager I think #like god I thought I had a space I could be myself and not worry in but no turns out im too vulnerable lmao #so it's like well now I'm definitely not opening up to people abt the reality of being emotionally and mentally stuck at 15

[menalez]

why is this anon interrogating what you did when you were 15. hey anon baby get a fucking hobby. try knitting. you sound fucking insane.

it’s weird bc i came out early comparatively (avg age for lesbians is 19 iirc) and all this stuff is from a very specific time where i was acting out of trauma and in an abusive controlling relationship for a reason but ppl just. don’t wanna accept that ig. instead they’d like to think i was this 14-16 year old that was abnormally into dick and very into kink and knew of kink very young and it just coincidentally happened to be right after i was raped + coincidentally i was in circles & spaces that would encourage this + coincidentally the relationship i was in was openly one where he was controlling even the things id post on my blog sometimes including images of my body but. no this is normal teen girl behaviour and my story now is all lies bc you can’t possibly tell urself n others that u love sth if ur actually suffering n u can’t possibly stay if ur being abused n if u really were trying to leave then why didn’t u consistently try to etc etc etc.

#i can’t wait for the day when they use me talking about my ex-gf as if she was perfect n not mentioning her abusing me means im lying about #the fact that she abused me bc that’s where we’re at at this point. if u don’t say it while it’s happening but rather afterwards when #there’s no longer danger and ur head is clearer then ur lying.

[snapbackslide]

omg breaking news guys he answered me within the hour !!!! for the first time ever wow

#i know damn well why #he forgot to accept my follow request on insta and he did it while i was answering his texts 💀 #(and then ofc stalked him a little but pulled myself right out of the whole ‘digging into ex gfs’ thing) #(did i slightly judge the fact he still likes her photos? hm maybe) #i’m very tempted to answer again but it’s almost midnight and that’s danger zone for me #although……. he lost his hockey game and said he’s ‘heartbroken’ 🥺 #AND HE ASKED WHO MY FAV HAB IS I WAS EXPECTING THIS QUESTION #LOADED QUESTION #WHO IS MY FAVOURITE HAB #IF I SAY NICK THEN THATS ARBER ERASURE #AND ITS BETRAYING GALLY #DOES CAREY EVEN COUNT ANYMORE #SEND HELP #I CAN TELL YOU WHO MY FAV EX-SENATOR IS THO LETS TALK ABOUT THAT INSTEAD #also literally thought he would be less interested in me after getting my ig #considering i keep it a close circle and very lowkey and also maybe he’ll think im kinda ugly after all 🤠 #did he stalk my highlights i hope he did #gosh #why does he have to be so far tho like ugh it’d be so cool to go to his games and be there for him after </3 #resisting the urge to ask what number he wears #(and when his birthday is i really need to not) #(also i saw a comment on one of his posts that.. act. no i’m not gonna say it) #(too early) #** #brunch anecdotes w the girlies

[sourquips]

when your closest friends ghost you and completely fuck you over generally speaking are you meant to confront them or live the rest of your life wondering what u did wrong. asking for a friend

#sorry for the unusual content #im in such a horrible mood #its 4 in the morning and im literally too pissed off to sleep #no because #they ignore me for 2 weeks #then ignore me again when i ask hey guys what did i do wrong why ru ignoring me #then they act like they dont know what im talking about when i get angry #and then i seem like the bad guy for getting mad #and i dont know what to do #i dont have any other friends #not irl #sorry for ranting #im so upset over this #like wtf #how can i fix what i did wrong and apologize WHEN YOU WONT TELL ME #also they all left our groupchat. the one we communicate through. #this all started right after me and my ex gf broke up because i was like oh im gay #anyway please help strangers on tumblr i really dont know what to do

[munamania]

i can’t believe i just read a post with my own two eyes that the only interesting thing about ronance is steve’s emotional reactions to them. steve stans do you hear yourself. and can you ever like. not say things

#i understand with the characters in the show right. that none of your fun pretend steve gay ships would need to be examined by an outsider #bc eddie’s new and jonathan. is on the other side of the nancy breakup lol. and yet no one involves her or those complex feelings talking #abt them. but we want all of steve’s possible emotional reactions to the lesbian characters #can i be honest. i am so tired of the trope where there’s a guy who one of them breaks up with and he’s just there after the lesbians get #together and ik that’s not the case here and it’s just residual resentment for that bleeding into this but. are you joking #ngl! i don’t want to know about a man’s opinions of my relationships. even if it’s my gf’s ex. even if we all happen to be friends. like #maybe im in the minority there. maybe it’s okay if steve is just like whatever #because he canonically said he was over her. and i get first loves mean a lot. but like. what the fuck #like???????????? #i get he’s your baby boy he’s your number one he can do no wrong. but. that’s the only part of the r0nance dynamic you care about #that’s all you want to know. very least you could do is not involve that post anywhere near the tags #something abt it just doesn’t sit right. and ik you can come at me with ‘just block people’ #but i think i’m disturbed by the number of people who are like omg yeah!!!!! #maybe not everything has to be abt him idk just a thought. sorry steve stans. #also i realize it’s not a ‘trope’ that’s the wrong word but it’s happened enough in shows that i’m like oh my god. can the lesbians just #like exist maybe. perhaps

[creekbed-burial]

Good evening, who else up thinking about how they definitely haunt the narrative in all the men they’ve been involved withs lives??

#thoughts #im just saying every man ive been with is definitely haunted by me #because they all either apologize and come back in one way or another or their new gfs message me and stalk my socials and tbh i hate this #im so serious btw my first exs talked about me for years to the point his then gf messaged me and stalked my facebook #when my most recent ex cheated in me in hs the girl he cheated on me with stalked ny instagram religiously and thats not an exaggeration btw #he then apologized and then we dated again and yet here he is after we broke up calling me hot and shit #and then the guys i hooked up with in college all apologized to me for how they treated me?? #basically im haunting the narrative of their lives and good cause im too good to forget #i also might be a bit up my own ass and egotictical rn but idc this is self love in my head #idk maybe i am just that great idk crucify me or somethin

[kyuunies]

this is so me :3 i think i'm gonna isolate myself from all my friends and ghost them because i don't feel valued within my friend group

#💭。leyley talks #🎀 leyley #thank u to M for making fun of me because im not his favourite person #and also thanks to him for telling me that im not his favourite #shoutout to F for abandoning me and lying to me several times so they could hang out with a different girl #and to my gf the other M for making friends with their ex and then ghosting me for the next several hours after letting me know about it #/sarc

[hamausagi]

trying REALLY HARD not to be delusional

#jents #like i KNOW i need to trust him and he has no reason to cheat on me. #its just so hard when he drops everything he's doing with me to go see his ex who's still one of his best friends #and she's been away for college and he hasnt rlly talked to her or seen her in a while and she just got home so like. i get it. #and i know hes known her a LONG long time before he even met me. and they dated in like. middle school so like. whatever. #but last year he was still so hung up on her and before we dated he showed me the paragraphs upon paragraphs he wrote abt her #bc of how in love he was with her #and idk i know he loves me. and hes said he doesn't love her like that anymore. but its so fucking hard to not be jealous #i know jealousy is a terrible quality and i hate that im the psycho jealous gf and i dont wanna be overbearing #and i dont want him to know i feel this way #bc she is still one of his best friends. and they havent dated in many many many years. so i have no reason to be possessive #and he doesnt get worked up when i hang out with other men. which is nice bc my ex got worked up when i would fistbump other men. #so im really trying to be normal. its just so hard for me to trust #and im really really trying to be normal about it. its just so fucking hard and i feel terrible and guilty #it sucks bc i love her and shes so nice and fun. but damn i get so self conscious bc she matches his personality way more than i do #shes so bright and fun and loud and full of energy and im just not like that. but he's also bright and fun and loud and full of energy #theyre both so social and im not #ugh #i hate feeling this way why cant i just be normal

[the-kneesbees]

.

#just gonna rant in these tags I'll probably delete this i just cant sleep and theres too much running through my head rn #anyway #im just so tired of this whole thing #when there were four of us it was nice cause everything was evenly dispersed (like when you lay down in an elevator) #we were all just casual friends and ut was chill #but now he doesnt talk to either of them #or any of his other friends for some reason? because he and his gf broke up and they took her side (allegedly) #even though they were his friends first??? #qnd it wasnt a messy breakup (allegedly) so there should be no sides to take?? #but like. first he told me she left him to find herself cause her grandma was dying and she didnt need to be worrying about a relationship #and then she said she left him for his best friend #and now shes asking if he was seeing anyone else while they were dating? #and he told me hes 'never even done that' #but my friend (who im arguably closer with than i am with him) #said he cheated on his previous ex with his current ex?? #someone is full of shit #but anyways. hes still trying to get back with her for some fucking reason #and he comes crying to me everytime he gets rejected #buddy. #not to be a bitch but im gonna be a bitch #i cannot be the person you talk to about this shit #i cant be your best friend or your favorite person or whatever the fuck you say #because youre definitely not that for me #qnd ita not fair to either of us #qnd also i feel like youre lying to me. well no actually you have to be about something #and i cant call you out on it cause i have to sit next to you every fucking day for another year and a half #idek know this is literally ridiculous why cant we just send eachother memes every few days as a reminder that #we remember eachother exists #why do you have to text me all day everyday about your relationship problems and how 'youve helped me so much im glad we're friends 😊' #ik i sound like a bitch but leave me alone please i barely know you 😭

[tsukikitsune-exe]

I love when you know someone in person that has tumblr, but it's a respected, silent rule to never ask for their blog or go look for it. Like we respectfully ignore each other's existence on here, and it's so great.

#even my ex gf has tumblr and knew im on here and not once did she ask about my blog. other social media #she would 100% follow me on but not here. not even gonna ask and i love that. #like thank you imma be a freak in private but also technically publicly into the void but we arent gonna talk about that.

[i-am-emo-shit]

.

#i feel like im the side character bestfriend in a poorly written book whose only role is for the plot furtherment #like yk i only exist so that the protagonist can talk ahout her love interest with me and come to realisations on her own and then go live #her happily ever after with her bf #is life all about romantic relationships???? is this how it's going to be forever??? #i miss when we would spend hours talking about the new season of mismatched or show each other songs #now all we do is talk about her bf and after that she falls asleep #im so fuckinh sick of them my head hurts when i listen to her talk about him #and this is the way it always ends i start to hate them little by little everyday and then one day ill be like kindly fuck off i don't love #you anymore #ive already lost two childhood besties cause of this and now i think im gonna lose her too and then i will have no one to lose #she would be horrified if she knew that i think she doesn't care about me as a person cause in her head im so important to her her bestest #friend from 6th std the only person who's privy to everything her family trauma her college friends her bf her sex life #why don't i see it then why don't i feel it fuck yaar #i never ever feel it what's wrong with me are those people wrong or am i wrong??????? #and ex gf said she'll never get back together with me bc i can handle the highs of thr rship well but not the lows i run away #and i hate vulnerability and showing weakness and sabotage all my relationships and push everyone away #ugh im so tired of being myself