#im so happy i cant function

[pittoreski]

.

#TOMORROW IS MY LAST SHIFT!!!! #i may have to dance some trepak #im so happy i cant function

[crescentfool]

What are your ryomina headcanons? I've loved these two since I played P3 FES, and I'm so excited to get back into the fandom^^

hi!! thank you so much for the ask, welcome back to the p3 fandom, it's always a delight to see new and old ryomina fans alike! 🥺💛💙

as for headcanons, here's a "few" i that i tend to come back to a lot! my interpretations of them are influenced from both the source material and other's fanworks, so i've linked to them as i saw fit! hcs in no particular order under the cut because oops this got long (900 word bullet point list, mentions of reload content up to 1/1)

minato's hair is dyed blue (hair originally brown, you can see it in his roots!) and he has a beauty mark on under his left eye. i like mirror imagery and there's definitely a few arts i've rb'd that portray them this way :) (e.g. this one by feliichu and this one by marasschino)

as far as i'm concerned the bathhouse scene from the manga where ryoji's hair down = similar shape to minato? that is canon to me. this art from xierru is a fun depiction of hair down ryoji :D

ryoji is homeless. everyone say thank you foxmulder_whereartthou for this awesome fic it's why i have the headcanon! but like seriously. we have no idea where ryoji lives and i could believe this.

minato dying at the end of the game is sad to an outsider's POV BUT!!! ryomina gets to be together in death for the rest of their lives (this illustration from mafuwara is a gorgeous representation of them as nyx avatar + the seal)!

speaking of the seal, they are like telepathically communicating to me in the great seal together. (mymp3 had a comic wip with this. give it a looksie :D)

ryoji likes cuddling with minato because he's warm :) (something something orpheus has fire affinity, minato is warm by extension and ryoji is cold because he's death)

ryoji's camera roll is filled with pictures of minato! ryoji... loves life, to me. and i feel that photography and journaling are perfect ways of expressing gratitude and capturing the moments in life that are most important to you :3

my other favorite activity for these two is stargazing- i feel like it's something they could appreciate either in life or death (looking at the stars from the great seal...)! they do a bit of this in the fic eurydice's vow by crescentmoontea (P5R spoilers, takes place in third sem it's a very fun fic concept).

between ryoji and minato i feel like ryoji was the one who fell in love first- and it doesn't really click in place for minato that he loves ryoji until december hits (appriser reveal + ryoji transforming into thanatos). its about the realization that ryoji was with him for his whole life and that he gets him like no one else does.

ryoji is like a sad and wet puppy who is so scared minato won't like him back. he is so scared of being rejected by minato to me like. this boy straight up deflates after he does his "i know i said i wanted us to be friends, but... i actually want to be something more." / "what about you?" on 12/1 ???

AND SPEAKING of wet puppy ryoji. ryoji is like. every animal in the world to me. he's a bird. he's a cat. etc. and also ryoji knows every language in the world ever and uses it to express his love for minato. see this fic from superheroics to see what i mean.

both of them are lactose intolerant. "this isn't lactose, it's milk!" i definitely think ryoji would make himself sick eating ice cream and milk he doesn't know what lactose is. (i made a silly poll about this once and the tags were very entertaining.)

i see minato as transmasc or nonbinary depending on the day (schrodinger's headcanons babey they're simultaneously true and not true at the same time!!). either way he's not cis to me and ryoji is like. His Gender. anyway go read this fic by nail_gun for t4t ryomina :D !

ryomina are WEIRD GUYS TO ME!!! they are so strange and they understand each other better than anyone else because of the circumstances of their relationship!!! if you asked them to do the "i wonder what i taste like" meme i think they'd start biting each other (affectionate) tbh but that's just me.

after ryoji gives minato the music box in 12/31 on reload, minato listens to the music box every night in january. this boy has insomnia and also chronic illness to me (things that housing death does to you). but i think he finds comfort in the melody and memories he made with ryoji.

in general, i think it's fun to imagine minato taking ryoji to places and show him things he's interested in! i feel that ryoji takes a lot of interest in minato's life, this isn't really a hc because in reload, minato DOES give ryoji a tour of the school (11/9) and possibly port island (11/12). but ITS CUTE OK! (tangentially related fanwork: this series of doodles from vinnigami: 1, 2, and 3)

not a hc but minato's kindness is like the backbone of their relationship and i think we would not have the ryomina we know and love today if minato wasn't such a kind soul. oh minato.... we can learn so much from you... like ryoji did!

anyway! that's all the hcs that i could think of, thank you for the ask! i had a lot of fun answering this, these two mean a lot to me 💛💙

i hope you don't mind the links to the fanart and fanfic as well, the fanwork people have made for ryomina have really made an imprint on me! if you want to see more of them, i definitely recommend looking through my tag for them because oh. i got a lot of them reblogged alright 😂 (<- SOOO NORMAL)

#UMMM hiiii #this was VERY fun to do thank you so much for the ask!! im very. well-adjusted about these two #this ended up turning into some art + fic suggests (they are like citations to my hcs) #but it was really fun! i love ryomina to bits and pieces i cannot provide a concise answer #this post nearly gave me a scare bc somehow the bullet point list doubled itself and wouldn't let me post #tumblr is a very functional website! but the posts intact so im happy!!! yippee! #i still need to finish reload but some of the hcs i wrote were partially backed by what i saw there #people are welcome to send asks btw! cant guarantee i'll answer them in a timely manner but i enjoy doing them #doing this reminded me of my early tumblr days when i'd get so many asks where ppl dropped their ryomina hcs it was cute... #im sure i will continue to recommend fanworks in the future i definitely want to start reading fic again after i finish reload! yahoo! #also this post is like the iceberg of my brain btw you have definitely not seen all of my thoughts im soo. (twirls hair) normal. #lizzy askbox #ryomina #<- why not i put effort into the post #anyway bye im going to go to the library to learn about my favorite new interest called html and css aren't websites cool :)

[oatbugs]

the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart

#yesterday on the study they said they were dating two others and it was going well and i cant imagine fucking you but #you have great tits. they got upset at me not inviting them to a party. my research partner told me to write a 1000 word essay on why they #should come. they spoke about how much they wanted theiir ex and they wouldnt tell me much about who theyre dating bc #they thought i still had feelings for them which. god. theyre right but the assumption is so arrogant #the streams r rly beautiful im walking to a date and shes gorgeous and some of my friends know her but i look #exactly like ive slept on my friends floor for the past few days so . aaa anyway #god after that whole call i just felt so deflated like i felt over it but now its all . back. like seeing them being happy w smn else #inflicts active misery upon me which means ii think im becoming a worse person bc of them. i called my friend and i just . idk i walked home #i kept wanting to weep but . woah the sun is so pretty #there are petals and dandelion seeds floating in the air #med school students walking to their lectures #she does biochem btw. the person im meeting now #there are two butterflies dancing together. i cant make this shit up the past few days have looked like actual heaven #ive spent them being on survival mode and not even bc of my studies like ok focus on log functions while the person kn the screen #tells u abt how if her ex were to call shed fold immediately and the new girl is a singer and its going well and maybe ill tell you #more abt it in a few months. SO YOU KNOW IT HURTS ! SO WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME YOUD MAKE OUT W ME AT THE CLUB WHY WOULD U FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO #ME WITHOUT CLOTHES ON ! WHY WOULD YOU CARESS YOUR OWN SKIN LOOKING AT ME IN THE MIRROR !!!! #anyway im like . sane. #i just . felt like it was over #i realised i kept seeing ppl who i thought were more attractive etc etc than her bc i needed to prove to myself #that im attractive enough to be liked or that i can be liked at all and a part of me wanted to prove it to them too #its just a horrible mindset to have and yh not only do they not care but they also bring out the worst in me actively like . I DONT KNOW #BUT THEN WHO ELSE KNOWS THAT THE GOLDEN HOURS IN TEHRAN ARE PINK AND LILAC WHO GOES TO TECHNO RAVES AT THE BASE OF DAMAVAND #WHO CAN PIN YOU AGAINST A WALL LIKE THEM !!! #anyway #standing up it just feels so #exhausting #like this the most exhausted ive felt from all this ever

[who-the-fuck-knows-blog]

the scene where izzy is talking to stede about the knives is such a good display of his character development. not only has he previously shown that he cares about the crew, and feels responsible for their safety; he actively stepped up instead of trying to kill himself again he saved that bullet to prevent ed from killing the whole crew, but he also acknowledges that he hurt ed (despite my disagreement with him that ed’s entire emotional state was caused by stede and izzy—thats a whole other can of worms regarding personal responsibility and mental illness and autonomy). I’m not sure if this is new character development for him, or if this was consistent from the start, and as we know, aspects of the previous season’s image of izzy will be somewhat divorced from how he usually behaves due to his emotional state. I didn’t particularly see him as a character who wouldn’t accept responsibility, but he has lied previously. not that it did him any good.

it seems entirely consistent to me that him lying initially about ed’s death (alongside the crew who initiated that lie) was due to his stated goal of wanting to avoid any more harm to the crew. He, at this point is only barely back from suicidality. I think the crew is holding him together quite a bit, and he wants to protect them as fiercely as he did edward.

i hope that we will get some flashbacks to him and the crew bonding, or his attitude shifting, but imo, the way he’s been shown to try to protect the crew, standing up to blackbeard directly and redirecting the attention to himself, shows he does really care.

I love that he isn’t and has never been a one-note, one-dimensional villain who selfishly only exists for himself and is actually a nuanced character with layers, things he is working on improving. None of them are “good guys”, really. because they’re people and contain multitudes. but the whole point of the story is about personal growth and escaping unhealthy dynamics and relationships and healing and how beneficial community is to all of that. I think the show is doing very well at portraying that and most people will see and understand the points being made.

#cw suicide #ofmd s2 #izzy hands #i cant promise i will always tag for suicide #as it is a main theme of the show #it’s possible i will forget #happy that so many people are seeing who izzy actually is now #underneath deranged jealousy and heartbreak #he had a found family moment and went #yeah im gonna ensure the safety of these guys #(gender neutral) #izzy positivity #i’m excited to show this to friends and family and see their reactions to izzy #i have a feeling he’s gonna become a favorite alongside ed for them #its not a moral judgement to like antagonists but it also is fine to acknowledge #when a character is not currently functioning as an antagonist anymore #and change your opinion of them #the izcourse #since i haven’t really been participating in fandom despite having been here a while #i worry i am encroaching so let me know if my use of the izcourse tag is that

[orcelito]

So I rearranged my bookshelf a bit for fitting trigun on my shelf...

Top shelf is still my persona shelf. It's way too established to change that. But I moved my assorted other fav manga volumes to the bottom shelf, leaving room for This...

It didn't Quite fit all the way, but it's close enough. This shelf is composed of my three top favorite mangas of all time, which are Also the only 3 series that I own in totality. Specifically bc theyre my favorites & I care enough about them to want to own them all lol

It's... really really nice to see them all in one place like this.

And of course. The trigun ❤️ completely worth the money I spent on them.

#speculation nation #this is nowhere Near the full number of manga and books i own btw #i have. boxes and boxes just sitting in the closet. #but this is my only functional bookshelf. im a little limited. #so i only have the Favs here. at least for manga. #sometime i should go thru all my manga. ive forgotten how much i actually own. #maybe someday i can get some more bookshelves... ive been thinking about it. #for now. this will do. #it makes me so ridiculously happy to see trigun on the shelf. even with it being a bootleg print. #it's honestly pretty great quality for a bootleg. only printing problems i saw were a few of the internal covers were a bit out of order #everything in the volumes themselves were printed Wonderfully #of course dark horse translation so not perfect quality there. but ngl it's almost nostalgic to read that version for me. #that was my first trimax experience. & as much as i value what overhaul has been doing for us #a part of me will always be fond of dark horse's translation too. #and thus why i keep hold of my 'he is reason enough for me to fight' header. i enjoy it Very much. #man. i cant believe i got home 8 hours ago. and ive spent this whole time fucking around with my new manga #but ykno what it's good that it's bringing me so much joy #for how much i spent on it i damn Well better get some enjoyment out of it lmaoooo #but ive read thru them and i will almost Definitely be flipping thru them again in time #i enjoy physically holding manga. it lets me peruse so much more easily than trying to scroll and click thru pages #worth Every Penny........

[mefilas]

buying a new yearly planner is like a religious experience for me. huge fan of beginnings and ends

#hobonichi a6 planner is my one true love in life ngl #they had an earthbound themed one this year you do not know how happy i am #i was thinking of maybe trying their weekly planner this year but as soon as i saw the earthbound one j knew i needed it #maybe next year #honestly it functions as a to-do list as well as a planner for me so i cant really make the space sacrifice of going ti a smaller one #but also the a5 is wayyy too big for me #so im chilling with a6 #its very handy and if i wear cargo pants (i always do) itll fit in the pockets ! neat

[girl-bateman]

Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍

#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all #literally my soul is gone or something #i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed #which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually. #ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better #alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off #like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot #like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy #moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously #but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends #i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help #idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho #like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me ! #so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback #kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk #it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore #but who knows 🤷‍♀️ #there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol #that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown #like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way #and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever #and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality #plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good #but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you #but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !

[the-kipsabian]

also unrelated but i got really sad at the store earlier today cause they had those novelty alan wake 2 thermos bottles and i couldnt buy one cause they are like 25€ each and i cant justify buying one of those that im never gonna use so :')

#ive wanted an oh deer diner thermos for a long time they are so cute #and like. actually functional thermoses which is even fucking cooler #but for that price tag and knowing i would never use it (especially when i already have a perfectly functional thermos at home) #yeaaaaah #it just sucks. i was so happy to see them and then got so sad cause i cant buy one. and i will probably never see them again by the time #i would actually have income for something like that #anyways. im actually gonna play cyberpunk now and just be sad in my tiny little hole. cheers #night is an absolute mess on main

[napping-sapphic]

Hiya, advance apology and warning that if you’ve sent me any sort of message or ask in the last few days or if you send me any in the foreseeable future that I’m not sure when I’ll be up to responding, life stuff happening and I’m absolutely miserable. I promise I’m not ignoring you if you try to get in contact with me! Just don’t have my head on straight at the moment and don’t really feel comfortable engaging. Sending everyone all my love and peace in the meantime

#blog will probably also be dead for a bit #or not i dont know #i just didn’t want anyone to get anxious and think that im ignoring them #i promise im not #you’re all lovely and i love responding to you #i just can’t right now #major events happened in my life over the weekend #and i apparently can’t figure out how to function under grief #still working on it #hope yall are staying safe and happy im wishing it for you so so much #again im not really thinking right right now i cant decide if this needs any content tags #please let me know if it does and i’ll add them if so

[scarletcomet]

I am so fucking miserable

#i cant keep living like this #i want to sh so bad rn #dying would solve all my problems #the problem is my top and probably most lethal method could result in like lost limbs if i fail #the more and more desperate i get though the less i care because i just need it to work #i can't do that to my family tho. they would be sad. #im such a burden on them tho #my depression is getting so bad that i can barely even function #i often feel the need to like escape whatever situation im in #it feels like the only way to stop feeling so miserable is to die #i can't take this anymore #43 days self-harm free but i could really use the distraction and the pain right now #ugh maybe my therapist was right when she mentioned going back to the hospital #at least then i wouldn't be expected to do all these things and act normal #i feel like i need to get through this weekend and then if im still feeling this way and insurance hasnt approved the ketamine #then i should consider hospital #but i have to go to philly for my twin sister's graduation. i am so happy for her and all but it's just going to be really hard #with how I've been feeling lately in addition to how graduation just reminds me of all my failures #i was supposed to graduate last weekend. my sister and i were supposed to graduate at the same time #all my friends are graduating too #and im as depressed and hopeless as ever #i dont know what to do #im going to ruin everything if i go but my sister will be upset if im not there #i just dont think i can handle being in philadelphia all weekend

[meateater-lamb]

#vent #ahhh my best friend has once again told me to move out and look at shelters hahahahahahaha #like fuck man there ISNT A SHELTER HERE. #the only one we have is only open a couple months in winter #and also a shelter is THE WORST OPTION #esp in utah #like if i move out i need 2 have like help i cant just do it on my own yknow #he did have a good idea abt a mental health professional being able 2 help me tho.. #but then im 2 scared my mom will find out im going to therapy!!! #but i am going to look into it #bc like. i just cant do this anymore yknow #this place is killing me #like literally #both my mental and physical health are. very poor rn. #idk what 2 do idk. i am fuckin scared abt everything yknow #dissociation has gotten worse #i keep seeing things #heart is acting up #cant eat #keep having nightmares #mom wants me 2 give her $1.5k #my dog is super arthritic n im the only one who will do anything with her #which is making MY joints and body pain way worse #i am always sick n i always have the smell of mold stuck in my nose now #i cant even function man #i just lay on the couch all day sick and out of my mind n then i get screamed at for it #bc im the only one who cleans so if im not cleaning the house is fucked and so the house is fucked #i cant see a way out idk #nothing makes me happy and i feel like im dying again #my entire life is fucked

[toxifoxx]

🥴🥴🥴

#i love living in a miserable awful world #you will see every awful thing going on #you will read about how things are only getting worse #you will be subjected to misery even when you are offline just because that's the world thats been created for us #why go to college? so i can be in constant debt and get rejected from every job? #why get a job? so i can be dehumanized on the daily and forced to work for the rest of my life? #its not like it matters. i will never be able to afford a house nor function like a normal human being #there will be no joy or hope. and what kind of life is that #if it is one at all? #there is no community for me in the real world i can already barely even talk to people on the Internet #i only have online friends #my only skills and talents are those that would be hell to monetize and suck all the fun out #i mean. i cant ever have a family either. #i despise school #all that keeps me going is cowardice and the price tag thats now attached to my life #on the bright side at least i could do it once i earn about 7k #on the other hand i dont want to #i want to keep going #i dont know why anymore #im lazy man i dont have any motivations or passions all i ever want to fucking do is draw and play video games #i dont want a job dont want to go to college cant make friends and cant have a family or happy life so #really whats left for me?

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#truly i have too modes. so fucking busy i cant breathe. cant think without a muddled lag. feeling motion sick as i walk #a path ive walked a thousand times over. or not busy enough. without thr pressure i revert to a liquid state and spill across the floor #i cant seem to do anything. at least when im busy i cant feel how miserable i am. at least for a little while bc i have to focus #idk how to find a balance. it always seems to be all or nothing. outside my control but directed by my control #ugh. after the month ive had the misery's caught up with me. also i havent been sleeping enough #i felt horrible all day in the lab ans i was like. i mean maybe its low bloodsugar? but then when i went home i felt 1000 times better #which is. ya kno understandable but not great #idk i can just feel the anger leaking out from under my skin. ive made the system unlivable. now im suffocating on the echo of pain #and i feel bad bc it must b all over my face. bitterness simmering in my words #i met with my boss today for a delayed meeting of a delayed meeting and showed her some preliminary data. she was excited and asked what i #felt abt it. and i dont feel anything abt it. nothing. i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont fucking care #set my datasheets on fire. burn them to ash. i wouldnt feel anything #and im sure some of that sentiment came thru bc she later texted me to reiterate how cool the data is bc no ones done a study this #extensive ans i dont kno how to reply bc again i dont care. theres no breathing enthusiasm back. that dim light has been extinguished. i #look forward to never having to think abt it again. #whatever the more pressing issue is that i cant get my brain to function enough to save me from the other problems i have boiling over #just me sabotaging potential future happiness from where i sit unhappily in the present #annoying. ugh i need to sleep. #unrelated

[mimimonart]

something Ive noticed with the new tablet is that I can now draw for 20 minutes straight without absolutely destroying my hand

#I think the pain might have been because of my really short felt pen nibs #doing lines took a lot more effort and made me hold my wrist weird #so thats definitely on me #but with the new one I can really see the improved pen pressure #painting feels and looks so much easier now #I can also actually use my tablet as a mouse with no problem!! #my old one would make my mouse zoom away if the pen wasnt close enough to the tablet #I also couldnt always click on things and the scroll wouldnt work #this pen is honest to god a fully functioning mouse I cant believe it #I can get so much more done much faster im so happy #10/10

[narutomaki]

get me OUT OF HERE

#this is about fucking. shipping. fucking orochimaru. get out of this polycule all of you shoo!!! go!!!! #STOP HAVING BABIES AND BEING HAPPY AND GOOEY!!!! STOP!!!!!! YOURE RUINING ME!!!!!!!!! #the fucked up little version of Obito ive made tho and his fucked up little niche of functionally immortal reincarnated body sharing #its like ive made him cat nip for Orochimaru. i was JOKING INITIALLY RIGHT??? I WAS LIKE #HAHA OROBITO HAHA HA HA HAAA FUCKING HELP MR #IM IJ HERE NOW LIKE OH YEAH AND GENE SPLICING IS SOMETHING OROCHIMARU HAS EXPERIENCE IN #AND GIVING HIM THIS AS A HEALYHY OUYLET AND MAKING HIM A MOTHER IN ONE FELL SWOOP #Obito has like 15 kids by the time Miho is created so shes not going yo be his heir (his heirs mother was an Uzumaki he hit it off with and #asked to have a kid with young (17) so shes 14 by the time the main series begins) #any way. Kakuzu being like ok you can have a chold under this roof but i will not be responsible in any way for it #and then holding Miho exactly once and going like 'oh i get why mothers die for their babies now' #Kisame takes the longest to warm up to her which surprises him bcus he gets along well with the rest of Obitos children #(Obito is like well. fuck you guys. Uchiha clan in Ame time and offers people contracts like in situations of fertility he adopts the mother #and father into his clan and turkey basters it (okay no he does send them to the hospitla but) and otherwise offers #a home a name etc for agreeing to join as either a civilian clan member or to have a child of his and some of the #second parents are like oh fuck yeah i want a kid but not a relationship/my husband is infertile/whatever and raise the child #as their own with very lityle input from Obito but some Obito has raised / was raising essentially on his own (such as his heir whos mother #didnt want to be in a relationship with Obito but wanted to test out motherhood and found she Could Not Do It and is now #more of an estranged aunt figure but 14 y/o doesnt have much bad blood about it bcus she has The Scariest Step Dad squad and #is 1000% creepy teen girl coded and it gets validated in sooo many capacities. cant do unethical experiments on mice when one of your step #fathers can bring you into the lab and teach you how to actually do the work and deal with an ethics commity that yes we have to #otherwise your father gives us the neutral but disappointed face) #ANY WAY #CAN YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN ?? LET ME THE FUCK OUT!!! LET ME OUY LET ME OUT HELP SOMEONES FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUC

[pyrriax]

goodnight-not-goodnight tumblr :)

(im going to go curl up and write for a while. probably also work on writing down some concepts for fics i need to work on)

#haunted ecosystem #animal death #for the tags #im veeeery tired and my emotions are a little out of wack (had a weird day yesterday and my brain hasnt fully caught up yet so. yeah) #today is a day where i feel like a scared rabbit in the world. #i know i have a whole bit about being super content and loving and happy and all that but people are people yknow? #its hard to kill something thats embedded in the very way you function. you cant convince your heart to stop beating because it hurts #etc etc dont mind me ^_^ im just putting my thoughts into words. #i realize a lot of stuff i do circles around to rabbits and dogs. dead or alive it doesnt matter. #you handle enough dying animals you learn to embed that into the way you think and work. i forgot most people arent used to that stuff #to most people death is a rarity to avoid. to me its just a part of life. every few months im holding something as it dies. #its interesting. i appreciate death in the same way i hear people talk of life. its beautiful in its own way.