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rxttenfish · 5 days

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Asking because I’m extremely curious about this, how did MonProm’s writing get different over time? I remember you saying that the lore and characters feel different, and that it's missing sincere character interactions, too. I know almost nothing about the lore and I’ve only seen a few people mention the characters, so I’d be interested in a rundown of what aspects you think got worse in the series

I wouldn’t mind a very long response since I’m not that active in the fandom, I need to catch up on what happened

sorry for taking so long to answer this! i kinda waffled on it for a long bit, mainly because i started doubting myself again, and whether or not this was me simply overreacting or being tinted by nostalgia or simply being extremely picky and choosy in what i like (the last of which is true, i seldom get into fandoms at all for this reason and stay away from most popular media, but i wasn't sure if it applied here). i've posted about it already, but i'm in the middle of a psychotic episode where i can't feel a lot of pleasure to begin with + most things i do experience ending up solidly in the "very bad" category, so as you can imagine, i really didn't want to mislead and check that i was actually in objective reality.

as it is, this is also when a lot more screenshots started to be posted in the monster prom tag, and that helped me bridge the gap back into returning to the games themselves and feel like i was making a more accurate judgement. if you're one of those people who have been posting screenshots, i sincerely thank you, and i appreciated seeing you in the tag greatly.

for those not in the know — i've been in the monster prom fandom since it first released, prior to even the first additional ending to be added (the "Punch the sun" ending, and i recall the minor fandom drama that happened at that time due to it). my impression of monster prom is very much influenced by this, as what got me into the first game was the fact that the characters genuinely seemed to care for each other and were friends with each other (not merely tolerating each other's presences nor dressing it up, they sincerely thought of each other as friends and were open about that fact), on top of the wide variety of small details and statements that, if taken at face value, could create compounding complexity in the lives of each and every character and had wider implications for their lives.

no, they were not necessarily explored nor even necessarily "real", with so many conflicting events and statements, but i liked this too, because it meant a wider flexibility in what you could imagine, helping to create a more tailored experience for everyone who thought about these characters. this was what i liked about the early fandom too. what was baseline "canon" was so vague and minimal that you could have wildly different interpretations of the same characters' histories and relationships with each other. you would have radically different perspectives on what the world itself looked like, what it was like, that there wasn't really any wrong answers so long as their personalities remained the same. this is where you got the old headcanon of polly and liam being childhood friends who knew each other as humans, or that the world of monster prom was post-apocalypse where humanity itself had gone extinct or only existed in tiny pockets, or my personal headcanon that both monster and human society existed right next to each other and had minimal crossover for petty cultural reasons. this was also prior zoe-as-ro, and there were wildly different interpretations of zoe's personality, with most going for a far more disquieting creepy-cute than the deep nerd we got.

this is why you get stuff like the timeloop theory, where everyone is repeating the same weeks leading up to prom over and over, and are perhaps vaguely aware of it but broadly unconcerned. this is also why it felt like the joke that, the characters were still in high school but were all fully legal adults with most in their 20's, best landed, because it was absurd and strange and didn't quite make sense, but the world itself was inherently absurd and semi-malleable to begin with. realistically, i felt like everyone understood it was making fun of the trope of having adults play teenagers in american sitcoms and wildly casting outside the age range, but for more in-universe explanations it wasn't any different from the way that you would have a large, dramatic ending in which everything changed, but then you'd restart and everyone would be right back at the beginning with nothing different, or even having conflicting events in the same run. it was a dream-logic that fit with the tropes and, thus, diagetically made sense.

to be clear, i don't mind canon having a set, well, canon on which it refers back to itself. i don't mind expanding that or including more things which are set in stone. but there was a perceivable shift in how the games handled this over time, becoming a lot more... bitter, it felt, towards all of these different branching ideas and concepts that, yeah, the people making them knew wouldn't necessarily be "canon" because "canon" already liked to contradict itself so much. most people weren't even sold on any one idea, and there was a much greater sense of enjoying and appreciating all the varying ideas people would come up with even if you personally didn't share them. making the characters be out of character was the real crime, because then it didn't diagetically make sense in the same way, didn't wholly fit.

(again, this is not to say fanon didn't happen and characters weren't smoothed down into a simplified personality that fit these varying fan-interpretations instead of the game itself. certainly damien love/lust was just as bad as it had ever been, and everyone loved to mangle his character into a more stereotypical "bad boy with a heart of hold" all the time. but it certainly felt less set-in-stone about it than it does now, with any deviation from the norm being considered strange and odd and even broadly shunned from the wider fandom.)

all of this is setup for establishing what the writing, lore, and characters felt like in the earlier days. the characters were the strongest part, with their relationships to each other being equally as important. the lore played it fast and loose and was far less interested in setting anything in concrete because that wasn't the important part. the lore wasn't the important part, which was what made it all the more intoxicating to think about, all the more fun to play with.

montrip is easily the biggest offender when it comes to setting everything in all-or-nothing terms and demanding absolutism from the world. broadly i blame the hitchhiker conversations for the worst of it, but i think ultimately the way they handled the entire premise of the game is where this problem stems from. it's not really an exploration in the same sense that you might explore the first game, discovering different perspectives and different people with different relationships to each other. it's an exploration in the sense of a sequel that over-explains the monster, that takes the most boring option out of all those that were possible and floating around and settles on something that was blatant, obvious, typically rejected not because of how novel it is but how trite and par for the course it is in the rest of the genre.

yeah, okay. humans know nothing about monsters and there's a "monster dimension" that exists separately from the human dimension. there's no crossover between the two of them. of course there's a big grand-scale fight between the eldritch powers that zoe used to be a part of, from which not only are slayers the main organization against them, but also the merkingdom has some horse in this race too. it's an urge to make things so universal in explaining them, in revealing connecting threads which unite everything that's ever happened in here, that makes the worldbuilding and lore immediately much more boring than it ever was before.

and it didn't have to be this way! nothing in the first game contradicts any of this too explicitly (see the above, the first game loves to contradict itself), and i would even be happy if this was basically canon but never stated or confirmed to be the big overarching everything going on underneath it all. i believe you should probably know these things about any world that you create and have them in the back of your mind. the difference is that you can know these things and keep them in mind, even focusing on things where its very relevant, and still not reveal them. this is why you have lore bibles, after all. every horror writer knows exactly how their monster works and the full underlying reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't mean the audience will see it or possess this same information too, and leaving it intentionally obscure will make far better stories.

which, this is bad enough, but it wouldn't be the breaking point for me if this was all there was.

but the worst thing of all has to be the slow decay of the very same characters that sold me on this world, this lore, this game in the first place. monster prom is nothing without the characters in it. it's a dating sim, it has nothing but characters to get you to play, and liking these characters are the entire reason anyone would pick up monster prom in the first place.

and the first game pulls this off extremely well. it's all in the tagline: be your worst self. they are, indeed, all terrible people. yes, even that character that you just thought of right now. they all have points in the game where they commit atrocities, where they kill or hurt people, where they do inexcusable things that could not be ignored in a more serious setting.

but that's the point. i think there's something very powerful in creating a character who not only do you love and love their personality and the way they interact with the world, but who also are inapologetically terrible, and to have the humor and the charisma be so good that you don't get bogged down in the "this is awful". likewise, it never feels the urge to really go out of its way to justify what's going on. this is not to say theres no discussion of if someone "deserved it", but usually there's still the sense that the joke is on them, that this is still an extreme reaction specifically for comedy and not necessarily something that can be justified. you can have damien set leonard on fire and have it feel earned, without prompting the needed reaction of what it's actually like to watch someone burn to death.

this is what sets the prank masterz ending apart from the rest of the game, and really establishes it as the first real "bad ending". because nothing that you do or happens in the prank masterz ending is any different from anything else that happens in any other run. you summon evil beings from other dimensions as a throwaway gag on how visiting one location raises your stats. you kill other people and damn them to terrible fates. you watch as body horror happens. the only difference is that, in the prank masterz ending, the laugh track doesn't play.

the rest of the game and the writing echoes this philosophy, this careful interplay of tropes that keeps everything tongue in cheek and yet sincere enough to make sure emotional beats still land when they're needed. the characters feel true to themselves and their own emotions, even when the world is extreme and excessive, when everything else runs on comedy logic.

this is also what i noticed failing first as time went on.

like i said, fanon has always existed and there's always been very specific ideas as to what characters are like in the same way fanon always flattens down characters into the same tropes over and over. scott is stupid and innocent and doesn't know what sex is. damien is violent and hot and too cool for anyone else. miranda is the idiot girl character. repeat over and over and over until you get sick of it.

but it's been an issue as time has crept on that canon has started to approach fanon and began to merge with it. now, scott is so innocent that he can't even curse. polly starts being mean to her friends and saying things that would be very hurtful to hear. the merkingdom isn't really super evil and fucked up, it's just miranda that's like that. they become simpler, easier to digest, streamlined for social media posts and mass-sharing. they become less and less subversions of existing tropes and moreso just another example of them, something else to add to the collection, not their own individual stories.

even further from this, what more complex traits they had are now stated and not shown. polly is stated to be smart and clever in a way that her party girl persona doesn't imply and to be sincerely rather down to earth with the people she cares about, but we seldom ever see this anymore unless its the game specifically trying to make a point about it, in which case it won't let her do anything that implies cleverness and moreso will just outline it in the narration. vera is stated to care for people in a very genuine and heartfelt way, but seldom will get a chance to do so, and every opportunity for her to do so to their faces is missed while she will just outright state it later. it does not feel consistent, it does not feel like any of these are intended reads of their actions. it feels like the devs have something they want to do but no idea on how to actually do so. and forget it if you want these traits to manifest in small ways that show up in unrelated moments and scenes.

the dialogue becomes harder and harder to tell between each speaker, if you are just looking at what's said and not at the pictures attached to it. the characters' distinct voices have been eroded away, so that they speak more and more like each other, relaying the same terms and ideas in the same words. perspective becomes a suggestion, instead of a must.

this is something that started back in monster camp too, as all of the endings in that game felt ultimately the same as every other ending. it's very hard to place or define the full reason why, why there feels like there's no emotional stakes nor investment, why everything feels moreso like selecting different coats of paint and trying to find all the different ending pictures rather than being interested in exploring the characters as characters.

stranger yet, the series that started with the tagline of "be your worst self" has experienced a kind of... softening, for lack of a better word? what i mentioned about being able to handle the balance between terrible people who do terrible things and the light tone of the game starts to change, as abruptly the same characters who were down with violent murder in the first game start to lose their nerve, acting more and more on more typical morality. it's one of those things that feels like it's starting to damage the tone, as abruptly it's not as absurd as it used to be, demands less suspension of disbelief which could buffer and support the rest of the setting on it. there's even a part in one of the endings in montrip which involves current-polly and current-scott looking back on their monprom selves and reacting in horror at how violent and careless their pranks are, in a way that fundamentally felt like it was undercutting and disparaging all the things that felt fun and made monprom what it was.

which is odd, really, because more and more i feel like the characters in these games like each other less and less. the friendships and genuine enjoyment of each others company that brought me to this game in the first place has gone. now they don't mention each other as much, don't care for each other's feelings and reactions as much, aren't as willing to support each other. they are more and more found on their own, relied on their own, seem to seek out contact and interaction with their own friends less and less. it feels like they're all separating out into their own worlds, but also feels like they wouldn't willingly want to interact with each other if they weren't already forced together by some other outside contrivance.

if anything, i'd compare it to every other dating sim out there, where you, the player, are the most important person in these characters' lives, and they only feel ambivalent or antagonistic towards every other character. which, again, is not why i picked up monster prom or why i liked it so much in the first place.

and it's because of this that it feels like the current state of the series has to focus on its increasingly weak worldbuilding and lore, trying to form a more serious foundation without character relationships being so tightly bound together, without the characters themselves being more developed and rich, without an aspect of absurd humor to rely on.

more and more i've noticed monprom has to rely on referencing other series to make itself funny and create humor, which, again, it's always done. it was just easier to ignore back then, if you didn't know what was being referenced, because there was always more going on in the exact same scene to bolster it and give context clues as to the setup and punchline at play. it feels like the current games are much more dependent on you knowing pop culture references in order to have any fun with it, and i'm someone who, again, is very picky in what i like or what i'll seek out. i'm not interested in a stream of references about other things that i would much rather be doing than playing through a game that feels like it hates that i like it at all, when i could, again, just be engaging with the thing that takes itself seriously and knows what it wants.

#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#monster prom #asks #vanillabeenflower #this is. so long i am so sorry.#and its still not my entire thoughts because i have so many thoughts #this is an unedited ramble tbh and im very sorry for that #i have more complaints like #how fucking snide and condescending the narration is to its own characters #which it already had but gets even worse in the later games #which is why despite loving aaravi i dont want to play moncamp at all #where a character says they like something or feel something and the narration has to be so. sarcastic about it?#like how i mentioned about how it feels like how its looking down on them as people #instead of whats probably the intended read which is #more jokingly calling them dumb in an affectionate way like how you might do with friends #and ofc theres the whole miranda rant #i hate what theyve done with the merkingdom and i HATE adrien as a concept i wont lie #just. cool. this female character is too stupid to count as a lore character. we obviously need a MALE character to fill in instead #we cant just have miranda talk about this or center any of the other female characters #and how they feel about this and whats going on for them #no we need to make up a new man to talk to instead #im. im still really bitter about it i wont lie.#like i said i could go on and get way more specific about it #i just feel like any and all emotional weight to this has died and the characters are more and more obviously actors on a stage #for your own self gratification rather than their own people living their own lives #this is so bitter and i really shouldnt put this in the main tag #i am so sorry everyone who will see my rant. but my peace must be made.#dont worry im already asking myself if im just making all this shit up myself #what if some of us liked that the characters were so mean to the player and had no qualms about aggressively rejecting us #because it gave some illusion of them being able to make their own choices and decisions in what they wanted

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onginlove · 10 months

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jealous 2

pairing: 1610!miles + black!fem!reader

summary: gwen. it’s all about gwen. miles never even talks about you. gwen

warning: jealousy

a/n: the first part was supposed to be a little drabble bc I was bored but so many ppl wanted a part 2 tell me if u wanna be tagged in this series

this one is more story like so it is longer

im not good with second part stuff so sorry if this part is disappointing 😭😔

part 1 | part 3

taking requests for 42!myles and miles

you just came home from school, vision academy. you wanted to talk to miles but he was wrapped around gwen’s finger.

you took your hair out of the puff it was in and did 4 parts, braided it, and put on your bonnet.

you hopped into bed, not wanting to ever leave, of course, you would need to though.

later on today is homecoming and you already have your stuff settled. but, you were wondering if you would even go.

you were planning on asking miles but he already asked gwen.

gwen.

it was 5:33pm and it starts at 6. you procrastinated on getting ready because you didn’t really feel like getting up (mood).

after you got your makeup, and hair done, you went ahead and put on your dress.

you went to the living room to put on your shoes and head out but you got stopped.

“aye, you didn’t think you were gonna walk there, did you?”

“mom, ill be fine.”

“no, im taking you. plus, I need to take pictures.”

she was taking photos until her phone said “storage full.”… yea..

you headed inside the car and you mom pulled out of the driveway and headed towards visions.

on the ride there, you saw other people in their suits and dresses. they looked very good in their outfits while you thought you looked like a plum.

forcing yourself to, you texted miles.

m&m ❤️

”you at homecoming yet?”

read at 5:51pm

since he didn’t answer, you assumed he was with gwen already having the time of her life.

you closed the car door, telling your mom bye. you walked up the stairs and entered the main area to see everyone dress up and decorations.

you quickly saw miles and waved but he was too busy laughing with gwen.

your smile turned into a small frown and you walked towards him.

“hey miles! i, uh, like your suit.”

“thanks. im matching with gwen.”

“I thought we were supposed to match.”

“oh yea, but then gwen wanted to do blue. plus, it matches the color dress I bought for her.”

“that makes sense.”

you guys just sat in silence while there was music playing and people laughing. everyone was having a good time besides you.

about 1 hour later, you were having a semi good time. but, miles have been all over gwen and barely even noticed you.

“imma get punch. want some y/n?”

“no, im good. thanks.”

you understood why he liked gwen so much. she was nice and pretty and not you.

once again, you and miles sat in silence, until you broke it.

“why don’t you talk to me as much?”

“i- i mean, your always busy.”

“no, im not.”

“well, you never talk to me.”

“I try to talk to you but you just turn me away.”

“i- i do?”

“yes, you do.”

“I understand that you like her but you don’t have to shut me out.”

“I didn’t notice that i was..”

“you never do.”

“wait, y/n, I can explain-“

“no, it’s fine. i knew you never truly liked me.”

MILES POV

I watched as she walked away. i didnt mean to shut her out. ive just been really worked up.

I tried to go after her but I lost her in the crowd of people.

“y/n? y/n!”

she left.

I knew I messed up big time. y/n is my best friend. how could I neglect her like that?

“hey, I got the punch. sorry it took so-“

“sorry gwen, I have to go.”

“but, homecoming isn’t over?”

“sorry.”

I dashed out the room, looking for y/n.

hopefully she’s close by.

@simpfl369 @lalaisasloveudj @ch6ntt @anikaluv @luvvvjada

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upagainstthesunset · 1 month

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Adoption in Comics

Found family and adoption are big themes in comics. i see a lot of talk about found family, as i think that really hits home for a lot of the tumblr comics fandom and rightly so. So for this post im focusing on adoption, legal or otherwise. A guarding and ward relationship, which can be parent and child or looser terms.

Many of the most well known and beloved heroes were adopted or have adopted children of their own. It invites discussion of nature vs nurture, of dsymorphia, of choice. It can be a situation that's terrible, or it can be a salvation. It can be done for all the wrong reasons and lead to a disconnect of expectation vs reality. It can be full of love but still lead to missteps.

But before i go any further, a poll. Id like to get some background on the fandom here, so please consider reblogging.

Note for the poll: "Strangers" meaning someone who did not know your birth family prior to the adoption

I wish there were more poll options to also ask the adopted part of the fanbase if they are a different ethnicity from their adoptive family, as that usually has a huge impact on their experiences. For example, I'm Korean but my parents are white US Americans. I grew up in an area of some diversity but not a lot, in that all my closest friends were white and all of my extended family was white. And because of that, my ethnic heritage was something ive had to actively seek out and choose to make part of my identity. It also meant that i just plain did not look like my family or peers, and so stereotypes and assumptions (good and bad) have been put on me at times.

Economic status also plays a role. Im mostly pulling from past knowledge of adoption agencies, but it's not exactly inexpensive, and of course financial stability is one of the big things agencies look for. So it ends up being that a good chunk of adoptive parents are fairly well off, in the upper middle class range. And that in itself can be alienating. This wasnt my personal situation but I knew of others where it was.

I might need to make a series of posts about how all this pertains to comics. It could really be a Master's thesis topic. But for now I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on adoption in comics. What feelings do you have about it? Have you given it much thought? How do the socioeconomic statuses of the adoptive family inform the characters and their actions? Does race with respect to adopter/adoptee play a part in the dynamics of what's going on in the stories you read?

I of course have tons and tons of my own opinions on all this, but I genuinely would like to hear from others. This includes fans who arent adopted! Your readings and interpretations are valid on this subject too! Youre really the average reader, the main demographic. So it's interesting to hear opinions from that perspective as well. And if you are adopted and feel like sharing your thoughts on comics, please please do.

Oh! And one last thing, feel free to tag or list comics characters who are adopted or who have adopted someone. I'd be interested to see how many there really are!

#dc comics #adoption #clark kent #bruce wayne #<-tagging two of the big characters related to adoption #gottaknow #kateliftstheveil

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clemswinecorner-socials · 1 year

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Sidetracked - [MM]

This is a continuation of "trackside", same disclaimers apply You can read side tracked here

Yourusername

liked by ollicaldwell, felipedrugovich and others

yourusername motorsports photographer takes on winter break

posted january 2nd, 2023

jazbenham it was lovely to have you with us! poppy missed you already 💙💙

yourusername i had the best time!! tell poppy to give me or her uncle a call soon :)

masefan she spend xmas with his family 😭😭 pierregasly happy new year y/n! it's gonna be a good one oldschoolfriend look at you being all famous and shit, happy new year y/n! marcusarmstrong new years kiss?

yourusername this time i did have one, yes :) you? marcusarmstrong no comment

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Yourusername

liked by masonmount, benchilwell and others

yourusername birthday boy 🫶🏼 do i make a longass sappy caption? maybe i will, because your love makes me a damn poet.

mason, you're truly someone i admire. the way you handle things and when you tell me that you sometimes can't. the way you help me when you need help too and the way you put aside whatever you think i don't want or need in order to feel good. even more i admire how it's not just me or your family you do this for, i also admire how you always try and keep up the team. you never lose faith in your friends and the people around you even when they don't feel deserving of it. i admire how you want what's best for people. i love the flowers you buy and how you read fanfiction, romance novels, vsco notes and pinterest to make sure you give me the love you believe i deserve. the love you make me believe i deserve, and that's something i never thought i would deserve. my love for you is beyond the world, mase, it will not dissapear even if the world dissapears. even if you dissapear. because you, mason, are my world. happy birthday. i love you more than you understand. tagged masonmount

posted january 10th, 2023

comments disabled.

Screamingmeals and Yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, masonmount and others

screamingmeals motorsports photographer goes on a podcast and talks life on track, good looking athletes and being a football wag we may have forgotten to take a picture, so as a bonus two pictures y/n took of us that she liked.

podcast out tomorrow. tagged yourusername, clementnovalak, marcusarmstrong, jamesharveyblair, goldenchild.tv

posted february 15th, 2023

yourfan y/n on screamingmeals this is not a drill y/n on screamingmeals juanmanuelcorrea_ i feel sorry for @/goldenchild.tv the editing mustve been terrible

yourusername can confirm a lot of beeps were needed

lissiemackintosh going purple next? racingfan im so curious what theyre dynamic will be like cuz y/n seems like the polar opposites of the boys clementnovalak this was an absolute steamer

yourusername dadoosh dadoosh dadoosh

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Yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, joaofelix79 and others

yourusername the champions!! 🏆🏆🏆💙🤍thanks for having me this chelsea, i truly felt at home all season. congrats team! tagged chelseafc, masonmount

posted may 18th, 2023

footiefan these pics!!!! clementnovalak LFG TEAAAAAAM🔥🔥 bestfriend what a moment. what a match! masonmount couldnt have done it without my goodluck charm💙🤍 masonmount thank you baby💙💙💙

yourusername mason i am so unbelievably proud of you. i love you so much!

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Yourusername

liked by jackdoohan, natalie_pinkham and others

yourusername raceday birthday in spain (ft mase trying to steal my job) tagged masonmount

posted your birthday, 2023

masonmount happy birthday my beautiful girl <3 i love you more than you know

comments limited.

other social media works & main writing masterlist

#mason mount #mason mount x reader #formula 1 #f2 x reader #mason mount imagines

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suffarustuffaru · 9 months

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Reading your tags about how people miss the very obvious "there's some fucked up shit boiling underneath" regarding Otto, just gave me a sudden realization. Otto is the only character I know in fiction where they act all innocent and drive up the "clumsy", "just in the side-lines" and "straight-man (heh)" persona. When. Like no one's in the EMT camp is buying it. They know he's way more capable than he let's on. Meanwhile, the tomfoolery is completely brought on by the Western audience.

Like Otto is failing miserably to make other characters believe that he's not up to mischief, Roswaal even thinks it can bring his downfall. But the audience, who even sometimes *sees* his fucked up thought process, is buying it.

*head in hands*

no u bring up so many good points bc ive been really thinking about this for a while T^T its such an interesting phenomenon in the difference in perception otto has between the japanese speaking half of the fandom vs the english speaking half which can be explained by—yeah. media illiteracy mainly. im also putting my head in my hands anon T^T

because—okay sorry wkdndn im gonna get into meta again but hear me out bc this pattern of the fandom underestimating otto is interesting bc i kind of sort of i cracked the code maybe??? o.o i think the nature of otto is a character is that youre SUPPOSED to underestimate him at first, just like what happens sometimes in universe. i mean wayyy back then i definitely wasnt expecting him to get more depth added to him in arc 4–which was a pleasant surprise—which is also the reaction the vast majority of people have to reading/watching arc 4, along with the other vast majority reaction which is being a bit endeared to ottosubas friendship and respecting otto for being a good friend. and then its easy to underestimate otto bc of 1. all the chaos going on in rezero at any given moment and 2. hes almost always overshadowed by other characters doing worse shit or being more insane than he is and 3. otto of course damn well knows hes easy to underestimate and counts on that. thats what he did against roswaal in arc 4. plus—i mean even aesthetics-wise hes 100% DESIGNED to be easy to underestimate. his outfit and physical features make him look either friendly or frazzled or soft. so i think that the point is that we were supposed to be kind of fooled—at first.

because yeah, we’re endeared to otto. we respect him for helping subaru the way he did. we think that hes a nice person and we now support his actions especially after feeling sympathetic towards him after learning his backstory. (or at least the average audience member will think this wjdndn.) but like—you dont even NEED to look at any side content at all for it to dawn on you that theres something Wrong. with him. like all you need is main route arcs 3-8 aka ottos entire screentime thus far, because at arc 4 its so easy to overlook otto unless youre thinking a bit deeper (for example—he gets violent with subaru. like yeah its entertaining, its played for laughs a bit, yeah subaru needed to be snapped out of his own head, but was it 100% necessary??? why did otto have this response??? bc if you just look at the main timeline otto really decided to beat up subaru first. and bc this tendency is now Less Funny in arc 8).

but even if youre just looking at rezero face value, when you get to arc 5 its starting to get even more clear that ottos weird in the head. like we already saw him being very good at scheming and planning in arc 4–in arc 5, we find out about otto hiding the tome for a year. we find out WHY hes been hiding the tome for a year. the tome then leads the witch cult into priestella, so like—in the sense, otto is RESPONSIBLE for arc 5. but theres STILL a tendency sometimes for the audience to continue underestimating him even though by this point we’re getting more clues and many characters around otto, like you said anon, KNOW hes very capable. i keep wondering why this is, but arc 5 is, again, FULL of chaos and different storylines happening at once, so its so easy to almost kind of forget otto there in the background until he occasionally pops up again. plus otto serves an additional role as comedic relief sometimes—he spends all of arc 5 being bitchy and whiny (i say this affectionately HAH) about his camp being full of disasters, for example, so i think the natural response from the audience tends to be “aw otto!! what a silly guy!!” sometimes. you know? so its like. i think at this point some people tend to be like “yeah fair that otto was wary of roswaal and thats why he saved the tome…. anyway ooooh whats going on with these other plot points” wobsbss. its so fascinating bc—ok this might be my own personal experience but anyone reading this pls tell me if you agree or not—i dont think ive seen a lot of people actually even MENTION otto bringing the tome into priestella attracting witch cultists. and the english speaking fandom LOVES to go into certain characters’ wrongdoings so why gloss over otto????

the only explanation i have for this is that from arcs 3-4 underestimating otto is. kind of the point of his character UNTIL you get to arc 5 and the clues in the main story start seeping in even more. and also the western audience DOES have media illiteracy a lot. theres that too. just look at rezero content on youtube or reddit or fanfic sites or other things of that sort T^T but no yeah i think ottos nature as a character exacerbates it. youre supposed to start asking questions about him. youre supposed to start connecting the dots and then SUDDENLY its now EXTREMELY obvious in arc 7-8 and even while theres so much chaos going on its basically shoved in your face. arc 7-8 is just delivering on all the leadup that was arcs 3-5.

and i think that youve gotta be media illiterate for sure to NOT get that otto is not squeaky clean and innocent BY ARC 8. i think that ottos the deconstruction of the loyal best friend trope, and also a mirror into what subaru couldve been like if he decided to be more ruthless instead of jumping right to forgiveness and saving everyone, except sometimes that flies right over the audience’s head wkdndnd. it confuses me bc ive seen some people completely miss the point or completely agree with otto and overlook the Bad Parts of it or, you know, STILL think ottos perfectly sane—like T^T please.

and yeah so back to what you said about otto Not being underestimated In Universe—its such an interesting detail bc hes ALWAYS been simultaneously pathetic and Very Competent wjdndnd. but yeah no all of his friends have seen various hints and clues and evidence of what hes capable of. like even though he hid the tome from them successfully and even though hes hiding info now its INEVITABLE that its gonna blow up in his face one day. like you got characters like garfiel who literally saw otto punch the wall and break his hand in an unhinged fit of rage, julius who got snapped at by otto and while julius is a Bit naive definitely knows somethings off there, anastasia whos smart as hell and definitely knows not to underestimate otto, and roswaal who, like you said anon, literally went out of his way to stop otto from breaking his hand in another unhinged fit of rage and warned otto that he will literally be destroying himself if he keeps going on like this. its this fascinating dichotomy bc otto is NOT fooling anyone around him but at the same time his current schemes are mostly unnoticed—for now—which yeah i havent seen that in a lot of media!!! its an interesting balancing act bc people around him realistically know hes competent after seeing the Proof of that for the past couple arcs, but otto is still finding ways to try and Win…

which—again, the anger and violence is an extension of arc 4 otto!! this is the same guy!! hes always been like this!! ottos kind of stayed the same, deep down, this whole time and as an audience its ONLY shoved in our face with a big gigantic spotlight on it FOUR ARCS LATER, but it was hinted to all this time. and like you said anon—we LITERALLY see ottos fucked up thought processes. literally what sane person thinks any of that shit. its spelled right out for the reader HAH T^T which—yeah. media illiteracy…. and also this whole ask was a longer way of just saying that otto is VERY easy to see at surface level if youre media illiterate. but at the same time it should be very easy to figure out otto is A Bit Fucked Up bc tappei underlines it in bright red print!!! i think people sometimes just hang onto soft awkward silly otto and forget about the rest T^T either that or they dont think he cares about subaru at all. which. that phenomenon of thinking characters that do care about subaru Dont Care is also interesting to me bc why????? we’re at arc 8 and you STILL dont get it??? o.ooooo

but yeah apart from that….. i said this earlier but yeah sometimes some people agree with ottos realism in arc 8 which is. understandable, but the whole point is that he is EXTREME. with it. hes Not in the right here, but the same crowd that wants wanton revenge in rezero is gonna agree with that kind of stuff T^T ottos been lurking in the background so much so that tappei made it meta by doing the whole “walking in darkness” part of his character, so i guess people just. dont see ottos ACTUAL worst traits and instead think he would ditch subaru at the first opportunity or something. but at the point we are now, arc 8 ottos problem isnt that hed ditch subaru. his problem is that he would sacrifice the world for subaru. his problem is that he gets extremely angry at subaru for trying to do good. his problem is that hes trying to micromanage everything around him and is willing to sacrifice anything necessary to get what he wants. but sometimes people dont get that bc otto doesnt look sound or seem like a character thatd do that. the Underestimation part of his character is doing too well on. certain audiences. please T^T the soft and awkward and silly parts ARE part of his character just like all the Darker parts are!!!

additionally im also wondering if western audience perception of otto is also clouded by the fact that otto looks and sounds more feminine / androgynous and he doesnt have the appeal of Overt Power either……. he cant Really be waifu-ified… and he cant be used as a weird self insert like subaru…. and you Have to look at him closer to understand him…. and for some reason people dont tend to hate on him so aggressively, if anything people cant even see his actual canonical flaws half the time wkdndn so if youre not paying attention otto CANT be aggressively hated on bc theres nothing there if ur not looking at it….. and if youre not paying attention otto seems more “boring” compared to the others…… (not that people arent allowed to not have otto as a favorite character bc thats totally fair but im talking about the tendency to think hes Saner than he actually is.) but yeah these are just my guesses. i have no clue the western fandom is a little T^T some people unfortunately cannot read.

anyway. big thank you to the japanese fanbase for understanding ottos character more and making so much wonderful fancontent for him T^T also i think that we as a collective fanbase should stop underestimating otto in general bc its exactly what he wouldnt want and i think itd be really hilarious. <3333 make him explode with rage please

#rezero #ask #yeah sorry this response was so long wkdndnd but yeah ive been thinking on this for a while…#like ottos a very key side character thats given a lot of focus and yet hes?? largely ignored in english fanbase #but also rezero is a special case i feel bc for some reason a LOT of people misread it so easily. all the time. even fans thatve made it to #arc 8. why???? T^T rezero is so divisive i feel and for what??????? why?????? why do people miss this the story makes it obvious what its #about??? not to mention the LITERAL anime episode called THATS WHAT THIS WHOLE STORY IS ABOUT WNDNDN #tappei basically slamming u in the face with otto being fucked up fr too HAH….#its like ottos falling into almost the same kind of stuff that rems perception by some people does. which is u know ignoring her problemati #traits of Being Obsessed With Subaru. shes a loyal ‘waifu’ and ottos a loyal friend but he cant be waifuified so easily and hes not front #and center in the sense that rem was also the second main love interest skdndnd #which i think might be the common fandom problem also of overly focusing on romance bc people notice rems loyalty more than they do otto at #this rate. bc rems the waifu. ottos only the friend. hes ‘less important’.#its interesting to me. bc why??? with other characters ppl either erase all the good or the bad out of them but with otto hes just in stasi #hes just kind of. there.#rip otto the bad luck made him cursed to always be in the background #it just confuses me so much T^T the difference between jp fandoms perception of otto vs english fandom is STAGGERING #otto suwen #the other day i accidentally got dragged into an argument on reddit bc someone tried to correct me on otto and i was like ?????? WHAT SANE #PERSON DOES ANY OF THE STUFF ARC 7-8 OTTOS DOING…???#they were like ‘otto wouldnt do anything for subaru’ and i was like ‘lmao whys he trying to have louis killed then 😭😭😭😭’#‘whyd he try to let 50 million ppl die then?? 😭😭’#‘WHY DID HE DIE FOR SUBARU THEN’#like ottos not gonna indulge subaru with everything thats not what i mean by he would do anything for subaru. he would do anything as in he #would sacrifice so much for subaru. but some people just see subaru doing it then ignore otto trying to do the same thing but in a differen #font???

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kindness-and-friends · 1 month

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//Heya. Mod here. I have good news and bad news

Good news is I'll be pretty blunt with the lore on the souls and stuff! Ask a question about it and I'll probably answer it

Bad news is this blog will be on hiatus :( ill finish the rps tho dw

To put it simply, drama and other projects I need to work on

To put it not simply (This shit is gonna be like a whole essay. Also i didnt proofread it cuz am lazy)

Reason 1: Drama- I honestly don't know what to feel. I started this blog thinking that i can interact with all the underblogs, whatever side they may be on. I kinda wanted this blog to be neutral because I was kinda inspired by underblog💛's. I enjoyed blogs like integrityvictim and such, and followed them (i went feral in some of the reblogs lol) completely aware they were against @/thehumanofjustice. Because I wanted this blog to be enjoyed and disliked by both sides. I wanted this blog to interact with both sides.

It started with incorrect pronouns. Then our small group of underblogs had a vote I wasn't involved in nor knew anything about and out of nowhere human is the 'leader' of the underblogverse. I never liked that idea and I expressed my feelings about it before. Luckily more people can join, but nobody has. I do like the concept of @/underblogmanagement, it's a way for people to interact with others and develop their blogs. But its too early. If anything it shouldn't be called that, it shouldn't have been introduced the way it was, and it shouldn't be made now. If we want to make something like this we have to make it bigger and have every single fucking underblog lend a hand.

I wanted to stop when I got the death threats. I thought that maybe, just maybe, it was a fan of the underblogs trolling, and it wasn't actual underblogs hating me. I still think it is. I also wanted to stop when the shipping got too bad. I didn't want this to be like @/undertaleolive that was known as nothing more than being Clover's 'girlfriend'. I don't get as much asks as I used to, and I know the lot of them are from thehumanofjustice or deputyclover (im not dumb.) The only time this blog can be serious is when I make it serious. I chose to let the anons kill Willow so it could be serious. I chose to let Clover kill Willow so it could be serious. I chose to give Willow those hallucinations and give Xeon a concussion so for once this blog wouldn't just be meme asks and roleplays with close friends of mine. I feel limited.

I think underblogmanagement is dumb. I think this rivalry is dumb. I think this blog is dumb. I think the creation of a whole new tag is dumb. I think the fact that only a portion of human's friends and followers is what makes up my follower count is dumb.

I wanted to be an underblog💛 with a story, not whatever the fuck I am now

Reason 2: Other projects - I'm giving the majority of my focus and motivation on this blog. Any motivation and creativity I have for art and writing gets thrown into here with no recognition. I have other things I need to place my focus on. As @/infinitrix, may know, I haven't updated my askblog in 2 months. Instead of drawing art for that blog, I'm drawing art for this one (only to get like 2 notes). Instead of writing dialogue and lore for that one, I'm writing it for this. If the only people who'll actually see what I post are my friends, I think this blog is nothing more than a waste of motivation. I need to focus on other things, and always worrying whether I have rps to finish or art to make isn't helping at all. The majority of art requests on my main are about this blog, too, and I want to work on art that isn't related to this. The only blogs whose lore I enjoy and would like to know more of are Whisper's, Winnie's, and maybe more that i don't interact with. I do think that if there's only a few people really trying to make their blog interesting while the rest is just shits and giggles, it's useless. I put together lore and relationships and art, and it hardly gets any notes. I can say the same for @/apatientwind who makes amazing art that doesn't get notes, and @/whisper-the-human (im eating your writing style ourgh. Keep up the good work :3). And yeah. Im giving up

I'll finish the last two rps I'm in and then leave. Don't try to start any new ones, I wanna make this quick

So I will finish what's unfinished, and possibly this will become a blog to ask about the lore. Maybe one day, when I figure everything out and have more motivation, I'll get back to this. But that won't be soon.

Ill be active on @goldeneclipsee if there are actually fans out there that arent my friends and moots.

Bye.

#long post #I'm staring at this like. 'Did I really do this? Is this finally the end?'#I'm scared for when human sees this doe

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thesherrinfordfacility · 9 months

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I would like to know how Neil's interpretation of a scene he didn't write as not being a sex metaphor somehow means he's suddenly decided Aziracrow aren't in love. With how much the Good Omens fandom insists that all headcanons are valid, why does Neil sharing his for one scene suddenly mean he needs to be tricked and bullied into having Crowley and Aziraphale kiss or be otherwise romantic?

Is it because he said a dramatic last ditch attempt at communication in the form of a completely non-sexy kiss is just that? He didn't say it wasn't a romantic kiss, he said it was a non-sexual kiss. He said, to him, the oxrib scene was not a sexual metaphor. He has not said, anywhere, that Aziraphale and Crowley are not romantically in love.

Neil does not need to be bullied or tricked by Michael and David or anyone else to make Crowley and Aziraphale be and show they are in love. He's doing a remarkable job of making them that way all on his own.

hi anon!!!✨ okay, so ive pondered over this ask, and i can't quite parse out from the tone if you might be generally asking/ranting, or if you believe that im - put simply - anti-neil in this whole discourse fiasco? because if it's the latter, i'll happily share my personal thoughts on the matter as to why that is definitely not the case. initially, just to support my point, take a look at my tags on this and this post, because that will give you a little flavour as to my opinion.

essentially, i completely agree with you. first, for full disclosure - i know that there have been quite a few comments that neil has made (in interviews, tweets etc) over the years that have fed into this discourse that i do not have receipts for; so anyone that wants me to take these into account, please feel free to send me them.

okay, now i'll try and summarise my thoughts on this (and some may repeat points you have very rightly - imo - already made):

good omens, and in particular the show, is very diverse, and inclusive. it is a triumph in this respect. specifically, i think aziraphale and crowley's story has been written very cleverly and quite sensitively to provide or reflect representation for a wide array of sexualities, gender identifications, and in general queer experiences.

my second main thought is that there is a difference between author/writer original intent, author/writer interpretation of their own work (retrospectively, as a consumer or critic in their own right), and audience interpretation. none of them have to perish for others to exist; they can exist together, even if they can conflict each other in their conclusion/s. the best stories imo are those that can be read multiple ways.

the ox-scene in ep2 (and im also going to lump 40s minisode in this too... plus multiple other specific Acting Choices throughout the season) can be interpreted sexually. i don't think there are two ways about it, it definitely can. it may not be the author's intent (bearing in mind, whilst likely overseen by neil, ACtO was written by john) to write it sexually, but the direction/acting choices are, i think, undeniably sexual in subtext and tone.

that being said, whether or not this is what the writers had in mind when writing the episode (and im not saying they absolutely did, im not psychic), the literal written narrative is not sexual at all. it's crowley tempting aziraphale into eating, an earthly pleasure that we know aziraphale later enjoys. it is therefore perfectly reasonable for some people, i imagine particularly those that are aspec, to read this scene non-sexually. whether metaphorical for sex or just a complete mukbang on aziraphale's part, i read it as an uncomfortable, intimate, eldritch-like scene. all interpretations are correct, and none are wrong. it caters for many.

the kiss scene is, to my mind, not particularly romantic, and it's certainly not sexual. crowley meant it out of love, no doubt, and hand-in-hand with that love, out of desperation and as an 'everything else has failed' way of communicating. i personally read it as a temptation, as something desperate but almost on the cusp of being possessive and cruel - thats my personal opinion/interpretation. i'll be completely honest, i don't personally see how anyone can possibly read this scene as sexual (imo kisses are not and should not be gatekept by those that are sex-inclined), but where someone does, id be happy to learn why, to try to understand that interpretation. the romantic element is a little more questionable - technically speaking, yes, it probably is romantic, and i do understand how/why people read it as that, but for me it isn't.

the story in totality is however, to my mind, romantic; in my opinion, there is love of the romantic kind between aziraphale and crowley. furthermore, neil has stated that that is the writer's intent; he intends for it to be romantic.

taking the writer intent out of the equation however, for a moment, admittedly i think their story even throughout s2 could be seen as very lovingly platonic, right up until the kiss. but even then - as I said before - the kiss for me doesn't read as completely romantic. i think one could argue that crowley just simply saw it as something he could do because 'humans do it!'. the script itself doesn't confirm outright it is romantic - it strongly alludes to it, sure, but there has been no indisputable declaration of romantic love. therefore (whilst, again, i do not personally think this to be the case - i do see romantic love here) it is entirely possible to interpret the narrative, text and subtext, in completely different ways and those interpretations still be valid.

where the story, and their relationship itself, goes and concludes is unknown. they could have multiple kisses of the romantic variety in s3, or they may never kiss again. they could just hug, or hold hands. they could have a full-on sex scene, or potentially have a scene that could be interpreted as leading to one. they could even have a conversation about being willing to try sex, another human experience, but agree that if neither of them like it, they don't do it again (but will still love each other), and the conclusion is left purposefully ambiguous. there may be a love confession, an outright declaration, or something could be said in a subtle way such that can be interpreted as both platonic and romantic.

i agree that neil doesn't need to be bullied by anyone into writing the story he's going to write... there will however be jokes about it, mainly from the hyperbolic perspective of michael being quite vocal that he too sees aziraphale as being in love with crowley. michael has admitted (jokingly? professional research?) to reading fanfiction that helped inform him on this personal confirmation, and this may have informed him on his acting. there are some of us that joke about the 'feral-ness that is michael in being hellbent on getting a sex scene' etc., and i know some have taken that joke further in saying that michael should essentially campaign for one, but i think we can all safely say that neil will write what he writes, and michael will continue to play aziraphale absolutely perfectly, and according to the script and direction offered to him. they are professionals, colleagues, and im fairly certain are definitely friends; the jokes are jokes (on this blog at least, anyway).

final point; i think neil has a fairly difficult task - whether he actively pays a deliberate mind to this or not, or it just comes naturally - in continuing to write a story that can be representative of everyone. he has his intent, sure, and his later own interpretation, but he has provided something amazing; characters and a story that is supernatural in setting, but entirely human in nature. that can speak to so many people, of so many different walks of life. that everyone can see a bit of themselves in these characters, can recognise parts of them in their own spirit. sees them go through decisions and experiences and joy and pain that each of us have at some point probably encountered ourselves.

that balancing act - again, whether he purposefully does pay this any mind or not - cannot be easy. i do not personally see him as homophobic for what he said in that tweet. i do not personally think he has queerbaited, or led anyone on to think that the characters/narrative is something that it's not. that's my opinion, and i fully respect that others will have theirs (and id be happy to hear them!), but i think he is respectful that people will have their individual interpretations, and leave it at that. he may even agree with some of them - he has said that he has liked metas etc based on merit and effort, out of respect too i imagine, but not necessarily as a veritable stamp of approval that the post agrees outright with his original intent or personal interpretation.

in any case - why would he agree to one interpretation if that could mean that that could upset someone else with a different one? that's not fair on anyone, so i think it's more than fair that he sticks to confirming what he intended in what he wrote, and not comment on how it should be interpreted. its because of this - brass tacks time - that i think any questions about interpretation should be kept out of his askbox... sure, ask about what is literally in the script, or what physically happens on screen, or background 'canon' info, but don't ask him for how you should interpret it, because i think it's fair to say he is only ever going to give back his original intention, or how he personally interprets it.

that doesn't automatically mean that he thinks any other interpretation is ridiculous or inaccurate, or not valid; everyone else's interpretation can exist at the same time too. he might disagree privately, but that's up to him - same as the rest of us✨

#anon again im not sure if you thought that i was gettkng shitty about neil but i hope that if you did this ask clarifies #and by god do i hope this rambling mess makes sense #do i need to state that for legal reasons this is my opinion only and not reflective blah blah blah? if so well there you go #opinions stated are - unfortunately - entirely my own #good omens #ask #do i dare tag mr man #nah probably best if i didnt

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ceasarslegion · 1 year

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On the note of that last reblogs tags i think we need to stop this trend of taking one part of somebodys story as a representation of the whole story. I think, instead of seeing someones problematic art and saying "oh they must have been a raging racist and a terrible person all the way down" we should take a moment to step back and ask "what happened after?" and even "why did he believe these things? What was the sociopolitical environment he was in? And how did that change when he was confronted with reality?"

Like, lets use dr suess as an example. He was a liberal democrat who opposed war and fascism during a time when anti-war wasnt a popular position at all and antifascism was only popular because it was the ideology of america's war enemy. And he supported japanese internment and drew some pretty racist cartoons. I completely understand why the second thing is bad, don't take me for an idiot or a defender of such actions, and im not saying you have to forgive that wholeheartedly and koombaya with him in whatever the afterlife is if you believe in that stuff, but I am saying that it's disingenuous to act like that was where his story ended regarding his racial views.

If you ask yourself why an anti-war, antifascist liberal democrat would be racist, you get a few answers: maybe he was an asshole, or maybe something about his sociopolitical environment was causing him to believe that racism was compatible with his political views. Either way doesnt change the outcome of said racism, but the latter posibility can be reached and changed if it's handled right, which is worth pursuing.

If you dig a little deeper into the why of his particular case, you'll find this quote: "But right now, when the Japs are planting their hatchets in our skulls, it seems like a hell of a time for us to smile and warble: "Brothers!" It is a rather flabby battle cry. If we want to win, we've got to kill Japs, whether it depresses John Haynes Holmes or not. We can get palsy-walsy afterward with those that are left."

Awful thing to say about an entire race of people. Makes you a bit sick to your stomach, doesn't it? But if you step back from your initial emotional response and peel back the layers here, you'll find that underneath the racism and prejudice, of which im not denying there is, he's basically saying "I think there is a direct enemy of freedom and liberty that needs to be squashed in order to protect others." Whether or not he was right or wrong doesn't change that that was what he thought and believed, which is a pretty liberal democrat position (even before the party switch) misdirected to an entire group of people whom their place in the war was not the fault of their race.

Dr suess was the type of racist who can be reached. It actually doesn't take a lot to do the reaching itself, the main work comes from whether or not the person is willing to accept that they were wrong and put in the effort to change their ways. Which, if you just end at that terribly disgusting thing he said about Japanese people, you don't see how he actually felt and acted at the end.

Do more digging and you'll find that when the war ended, he was confronted with the realities of japanese internment and how he once cried support for such a terrible practice. These people arent nazis by birth, they're just people being generalized with the actions of their government. Many were born and raised multi generation american citizens being treated like war criminals in their own home when they had nothing to do with the nazis overseas. (Sound a bit familiar regarding the social treatment of individual russians these days? That's a post for another day though)

Dr suess wasnt stupid, its also disingenuous to act like prejudice is a failure of intellect. He was a real smart guy, and after being yanked out of his bubble he completely overhauled his views and disavowed his previous statements and racism. And you also have to remember that he wasnt a politician, he was a childrens book author who did the occasional political cartoon. His power over these systems one way or another was always pretty minimal, but he did do what he could in his position: he wrote another book basically saying "I was wrong, and I'm deeply sorry. I see why I was wrong now" which was Horton Hears A Who. The one with the famous "A person's a person, no matter how small" line that was about remembering the humanity of those you're too disconnected or different from to see right away.

If you think thats too little too late, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it, but at least hold that opinion after knowing the whole story. And maybe don't end the judgement of people, especially historical figures, conveniently where the most rage bait can come from. Like I said, I'm not saying you have to love him and forgive everything he ever did just because he realized he was wrong and changed his ways, but I am saying that if you're going to judge somebody, you do in fact have to judge their whole character and not just the cherry pick the parts that make for the most outrage. Framing someone like dr suess as a full stop racist just isnt accurate unless you're talking about a very specific timeframe in his life. It's more complicated than that, regardless of how you feel about the racism itself, which isn't my place to tell you how to feel about.

#some thoughts

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galactikburzt · 7 months

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Oh yeah remember that one post i made about that forbidden testing tracks mod before it came out a while ago

I have decided that I am gonna be this mod's strongest soldier because some people out there are being mean about this mod when there was clearly a lot of passion behind it and it really seems to be someone's first mod ever and like, i do really hope that we get to see new things from the creator in the future because i do see a lot of potential in the mod

Putting my thoughts over the mod in detail under the cut

Personally, I do think that this mod's main issue was that it tried to be way too much at the same time

Which, as someone who likes writing for myself from time to time, I get it. Sometimes you kind of just write something so ambitious that you later realize that its so big for you that you wont be able to manage to get yourself to complete it

The mod has A LOT of mechanics, and I mean A LOT. While I have never had the chance to learn how to build puzzles in portal since my pc is currently not working, I do know a little bit about level design since I am interested in the topic, and also because I do also like messing around on custom level editors whenever I can which was the thing that made me feel interested on level design lol (i really love seeing video essays about gameplay mechanics whenever i can because i do find that very fascinating but that's not the point i am trying to make right now)

Forbidden testing tracks does have lots of mechanics, several multiple types of guns, a dimensional traveling portal sort of, i think, sparks you can jump on, explosive cubes, hell it even has a test room that rotates itself

When you put it out in paper like that it sounds amazing

But the thing is, I can't get myself to mention all of these mechanics, and that's the thing

The mod has so many mechanics, that it is difficult for the player to process all of these new things at the same time

Some of these mechanics appear only once or twice only to not be used ever again

I do think, that whenever you add a new mechanic to a game of any genre, you need to let the player have the chance to process it, learn it, and mess around with it until they get the hang out of it

Let's take a look at the first portal game for example

Im not gonna go into detail about all of the mechanics and how the entire game is constructed because that would be exhausting and too long to write, but I do want to point out the introduction of the portal mechanics

At the very start of the game, we do see the first portal in the game, which we need to use to get out of chell's relaxation vault

We don't have the portal gun in our hands yet, and for a person trying to play for the first time it would be overwhelming to get the gun with both the orange and blue portals at the same time, so the game lets the player get through one portal to walk through to get to the outside of the relaxation vault

And then the player is able to process the main mechanic of the game in that way, you get through one portal and you come out to the other one

There are other tests that do a similar thing to get the player to be used to the portal mechanics and the portal gun

like the test we get after the first one and the test we use to learn how to use the portals to reach higher places, so we can get to learn about stuff like learning where to place portals, how to move around and how do portals work in general, all before we get the two portal gun thing so it can be easier to process for a regular player

(sorry if i am not explaining myself correctly 😭😭😭)

I do think that the mod could benefit itself by focusing on one or two mechanics, like some other mods out there like Aperture tag and Portal Reloaded, who do focus on the gel gun and the time travel mechanics respectively

And speaking of adding way too much, I do think the writing does also suffer from this in a way

So there's this core called SAIC (which is honestly the best part out of the entire mod in my opinion)

I think that the voice acting for him is very good, and I personally Do love his animations as well

When I first saw the trailer I was very excited to see this core in particular, because his lines were delivered very well and I was excited to see more of him in general

but unfortunately, he didn't really get too much dialogue

Yeah, there is this section at the second chapter where we grab him for a bit, but he really just says two small dialogues at the start and at the end

After we meet him, we kind of just hold him for a bit and he doesn't say anything while we walk until we get at his management rail

The game does have a couple walking sections which can feel empty sometimes

I think the game would have benefited from small dialogues through the way while walking these long ways, along with solving some small puzzles outside of the main test chambers, something like the start of portal stories mel with the old aperture which had the player exploring the place without it feeling too lonely thanks to the recordings and later also virgil along the way so the player doesn't feel too lost

There are many things that come off as out of context, we don't really know about SAIC's motivations as far as I can remember and the first half of the game feels very empty, because there's nothing to guide you or give you context

Maybe someone could think that the creator didn't leave too many recordings so the player could feel lonely, but sincerely it is very possible to have a game full of dialogue along the way which also makes you feel isolated, and Portal 1's atmosphere along with GLaDOS having lots of dialogue through every chamber proves it

So while we have the first part of the game being completely empty and out of context, then we have the second half of the game which is overwhelming.

So, let me try to describe it

A lot of nothing happened, i THINK that SAIC was trying to get us to escape, and then GLaDOS catches the player or something and then SAIC apparently dies. And then Wheatley takes over the facility because TURNS OUT that the whole thing is happening at the same time of portal 2

Then things happen i guess and the player just keeps testing because i forgot why, then something happens and we are at the moon and apparently cave johnson is alive and then turns out SAIC's death was a fakeout, and then there's something about Rachel Johnson twin sister of chell because of a something failure???? And then i think everyone just decides to destroy aperture at the end

Just like some of these mechanics out there, there are so many things in the story coming out of nowhere (along with some of these way too into the headcannon territory) that feel out of context, and overwhelming, and then there are some elements which are not used enough or just appear once or twice to not be seen ever again, like SAIC, for example

His voice feels nice to listen to, and I feel like the mod would have benefited itself by having more dialogue and exploring his character with small stuff like him peeping in to say a couple things and adding random comments even if it's just something like a "so... What's your name?" "Hey hey, over here!" Or anything like that

He genuinely should have gotten more screen time, the way his lines were delivered was very nice to hear even if his dialogue was short and the writing could get nonsensical

I think SAIC has the potential to be just impactful as Wheatley if handled correctly, but unfortunately he was set aside even if he was supposed to be one of the main characters because the mod itself was trying to add way too much at the same time, which didn't allow the player to get attached to the story

I think the creator just. Added so much that they couldn't focus on the details of the story

which is understandable because I myself had a couple original stories that never saw the light of the day for the same reason

I realized on the hard way that I was biting off way more than I can chew, because i kept adding more and more, to the point i either had so many characters with no purpose or i couldn't get to work on details because there was too much to work on

So yeah, I do think that sometimes less is more in creative projects, you don't need to be the next super big project immediately, just focus on the essentials and then add the final details later. Try to know the size of your project and keep it in mind, because even short things can be very enjoyable and memorable to experience

With that aside, there's only one question left that I do want to answer

Why

Why do I like this mod so much? What do I see in it for me to call myself the #1 fan of PFTT despite everyone disliking it? Why am I taking the time to write a long essay about a mod that probably no one else aside from me might even like?

Well, I'm pretty sure you have noticed me repeating this one specific word through the whole essay so far:

Potential.

Yeah, the mod is messy both story and gameplay wise, but I think that the mod does have a lot of effort and passion put behind it

I seriously hope that the creator is not gonna end up stopping with doing more content after feeling discouraged by the reactions of all these people

Because I do think that this developer could create for example, the next portal stories mel, or the next aperture tag in the future

Because even if it is very flawed, I think the mod does have it's charm regardless

Yes, it was surreal to watch, it made no sense sometimes, it had lots of things coming out of nowhere, and some other couple things

But I had a good time watching it

I absolutely love SAIC, and when I saw the trailer I KNEW that he would be one of my favourite characters once the mod came out, and I was right

Even if the mod was nothing like what I have expected

I had lots of fun while watching this mod, and sincerely I do wish I was able to play it despite everything

Because it seems like something you could get on a call with a couple friends and talk about it

And ironically even if I can't remember the story, waiting for the mod once the trailer came out, and later watching this mod on a stream through one sitting was one of the most memorable things i could have experienced

I can't stop thinking about SAIC, even if he didn't appear as much as I hoped he would, and even if he didn't have that much time to shine, he has left an impact on me despite everything

When i saw this line in the ending screen while seeing other people's reactions it absolutely broke my heart

I do want to wish lots of luck to the creator, and I genuinely hope to see what they create in the future

And I hope people are gonna be kind to this new creator, because I can tell that this mod clearly had a lot of passion and love behind it

Now, Lastly I do want to apologize if there's anything i have not worded correctly, since English is not my first language

And with that aside, I am gonna end this essay right here (unless there's anything i forgot to mention that i want to edit in the future aha)

Thank you for reading, and have a nice day

#galactikburzt rambling #portal #portal forbidden testing tracks #SAIC portal #claiming myself as the number one forbidden testing tracks fan immediately /hj

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smirnoffswitchblade · 3 months

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♡⸝⸝ about me .ᐟ

includes: introduction, dni/byf, etc . . .

— Finally im making an introduction after putting it off for a bit out of shyness (and laziness..+ being nervous, but i need to push myself to do things sometimes.) but i thought its time you guys know a little bit more about me! ^^

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀. 𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

‼️ • MDNI • ‼️

♡ ····· introduction

• Hello there!! im Sammy, but i prefer to be called Sakura if we aren’t extremely close. <3

• Im 20 years old! Im also a biracial lady, Bisexual, and my pronouns are She/Her! Please refer to me as so when talking to/about me.

• Some of my hobbies include : Cosplay, editing, drawing, photography (beginner), dancing, gaming, writing, reading, and baking!

• I like to associate myself with certain animals, specifically raccoons/deer/rag-doll cats/lambs/bats! Personally i think they fit me very well..so thats why you may see me repost those specific animals from time to time. (cause i think they’re me! ^^)

Tagged with: #irlsaku

• My few of my interests are cosplay, video games, anime, manga, flowers, greek mythology, herbology, nymphology, gloomy coquette and lolita fashion. among others too!

• i love many little men right now..but mainly ive been very lovey dovey over ren hana/fox, strade, lawrence oleander, sano kojima and vincent metzger! their just my favorites at the moment and i tend to self indulge in a bunch of selfshipping with them (persona x canon and oc x canon too!..maybe i will post my btd/tpof ocs here someday.)

♡ ····· DNI / BYF

• DNI: Minors, ageless blogs, zoos/maps, ableist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-xeno/neopronouns, i dont really have a big dni but these are my mains. I block freely.

• BYF: This account is my primary blog and it’s mostly just for me posting/spamming my brainrot of 18+ medias! (also made for self indulgence and other things but i wont speak on that too much) So please please if you are under the age of 18 or do not have an age stating that you are an adult in your bio you will be blocked! This blog and content is not made for your eyes to see and you can get others and the creators in legal trouble and yourself. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, Thank you.

• If you are not a minor but cant handle the topics/media that will be posted on my blog please don’t follow me, this blog again is simply for my hyper-fixations of 18+ medias, my own enjoyment, and more. Don’t hurt/trigger yourself intentionally by looking at the things i put here, and please look out for your wellbeing because you are special! <3 Thank you!

My sfw blog is @crunchysugarr so i wont mix my other medias with this one!

• I have ADHD/PTSD/anxiety and depression, please be mindful of these things when choosing to interact with me whether its in dms or my ask box!

• You can send anything (quite literally anything..) in my asks! I don’t mind it, but ill ignore it if i don’t feel comfortable answering it or if it makes me feel some type of way. Please remember i may take time to reply to them if you ever do send anything to my inbox. (I also ask that you don’t send me irl gore/animal gore/cp/etc in my ask box.)

- I tag my posts with my own hashtags, heres a few of them so you wont be confused about what I’m specifically trying to post!

- aesthetic: #sakuaesth

- rambling: #sakubabbles

- regular blogging: #sakuposting🌸

(This could change overtime but i don’t know if they will but if they do I’ll let you all know! I hate confusing others on accident, hope this helps somewhat!)

• Im still pretty new to the Boyfriend to Death fandom and other fandoms on here too, I’m always learning something new about these pieces of media every single day! so please don’t get upset if i say anything not really lore accurate (?) i guess.

• You can always dm me or reply in my posts freely! But please ask to dm me in my ask box if you do want to talk to me in private, i usually only chat on tumblr and not discord because only people i’m closest to have my discord. But feel free to ask to dm me and we can talk here on tumblr if thats fine with you <3

• Please be patient when it comes to me replying to messages/asks. Sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming knowing i have to reply to so many people so i may take some time to get back to you all depending on whats going on with me that day, i do have a life outside of tumblr thats way different from how i appear online! But just know i have no intentions of ignoring anybody, i just wanna try and talk to new people for once.

Note: i tend to use emoticons only because i just think they’re adorable simply and i like to use them when texting! (i dont know why i feel the need to specify this so much, or anything else for that matter..but i did!)

♡ ····· other / extra things

ill try and make this as short as possible so you wont have to do too much more reading.. sorry about that!! ^_^’

• on this account the specific content i intend to post is boyfriend to death (1&2), the price of flesh, ykmet, degrees of lewdity, lovers trophy, courtin’ cowboys, this is not romance, and Saw (2004)!

• i can give out some of my other socials below so feel free to follow them if you’d like to, or don’t! i would never force anything upon you or anyone. <3

Twitter: @/crunchysugarr

Pinterest: (the same as my twitter user)

• and i think thats really pretty much everything! i hope you enjoy my company and my blog, if theres any other questions you wanna ask to know other things about me that aren’t listed here then you are free to shoot me an ask anytime! (no pressure of course <3.) Im sure we will become good friends someday! take care ♡

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claudiajcregg · 3 months

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Tell Other People About Your WIPs

make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.

Tagged by both @onekisstotakewithme and @miabicicletta 💜💜💜 Thank you, guys <3 I don't know who to tag that hasn't been tagged already. Interested? Tag, you're it! :) (Please do know that there are no set sections. Pick whatever you want. I went the deranged route.)

I have an outdated WIP list, and many others unaccounted for. This is just a selection of stuff I could see myself posting or editing/retooling to write something new. I love talking about my WIPs, about as much as I hate being perceived because they are not remotely interesting. (I also love knowing which ones people are interested in! I have an incentive to work on them!) (Instead of snippets, part of my feedback loop is sending actual rough drafts to get a sense of whether it's worth working on more.)

Multichapters, different levels of completion.

S5 Pregnancy AU. My main WIP. Can you believe I’ve had this idea for a year… almost to the day? I’ve been stuck since November bc I don’t know how I want this one to end, beyond a birth. (As I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like this has legs to become a fluffy universe. I have ideas! Timelines!) Gist of it: CJ gets pregnant circa Zooey's kidnapping. How does it change S5? It's less angsty than you think.

Campaign bars, aka campaign conversations sometimes happened at bars in the 1998 campaign. Fun stuff. I need to pick it right back.

What Once Was Ours or the IM AU (2021), aka IM ends with a breakup. Not a WIP. Not a UFO. A secret third thing. (“Finished” but not edited, and I’m doubtful people would be interested. Probably bc of some bittersweet ~memories~ attached to it. I mean, I shared a third of it to discord and people couldn’t care less, at least after a while. Now, better IM AUs are being posted these days; I'm not in a rush.) 33 chapters. 150k words. I do reread it every once in a while, and I cannot put it down. But its 'age' takes me aback. If things had been different, I'd have posted this in H2 2021/Q1 2022 (or even the planned Q2-3 2021). But alas.

The “Almost Ready, question mark” Category

Another SVD prompt meme claim: what if CJ has the crush first. The thing is, I tend to write her as having a relatively obvious crush on him at first until something makes her wise up. So this is just some ridiculous, post-first-meeting thoughts. Most of it was written in one sitting! It kinda fits with something in the campaign bars fic, too.

Post birth, hospital story: A couple of hours after their bb girl is born. Pure fluff. Recently reworked it to make it less wordy. Still failed, but it’s better focused now.

Many ficlets – the few I did post on Tumblr that haven’t been posted to the story I’m collecting them in, plus a couple more. I'm thinking the ice skating one, Jan 22, a few post-eps I wrote last year, etc.

Ambitious Projects I don't think are happening right away (or ever), but probably have a detailed outline somewhere

(I put this up instead of last, because the next category has faves, but it's also a long one.)

Danny is back a bit earlier on s7. Toby leaks (or tries to leak? I always wavered) the shuttle to him, as he and CJ are getting closer.

Simon lives. How does his relationship with CJ evolve post-honeymoon phase? What is it like when Danny returns?

You’ve got mail AU. This outline had two ways the climax could go. I had fun.

Epistolary collab (?) fic. Probably an X + 1 fic. The only one with nothing written; don’t rule out writing it individually at some point.

And because this is so long already (but not as long as it could be)… A few more under the cut – more "I just want to make sure I like them" and "this meme reminded me I meant to pick those back up." And they are still not all. (How do you summarize seven years of writing?? I've only posted 20-something of them, lol.)

“Almost Ready (but I feel like I want to make changes to them) (might just redo them altogether)”

Haunted by the Notion, 2007 edition. My beta Ruth suggested this when she edited the other story, and I wrote it around then. It’s another Christmas dinner at Filomena, and, eight years later, things are different. I feel like it hits expected beats, and is just missing some oomph. Maybe. (As much as I do like it, half tempted to make it 2009. Or later.)

Heaven’s here…: A interrupted proposal. I’ve written many proposals over the years, and I love toying with different ideas and setups. Danny takes the lead here, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea of having CJ do the final twist.

5 to 6 am 'me' time. Another story inspired by last year’s rewatch that I wrote right at the start of it (so Jan 2023?). It has five short parts with five different years of what CJ describes in the pilot as her “me time.” This is one when I think one per year would be fun, but I don’t want to repeat myself.

One bed, “sexy” edition. An AU to a sort of AU (one of the drabbles from this summer) and… it's what it says on the tin. The world does not need to read my attempts at smut. If I didn’t put it in the previous category, it’s because I am not sure that I want to post it. (All the previous attempts are locked somewhere; unfortunately, someone loves this one and noticed when I tried to do that, lol.)

First baby kick: I remember writing this while in grad school (so, late 2017? First half of 2018) but I lost it, along other fic, when my laptop had to be reset because I used Bear to write back then, but didn’t have sync across devices. I rewrote it, and I feel like it's not the same, but still. It's sweet! Includes: Danny talking to the baby, domestic fluff, and… baby kicks!

“This meme reminded me they exist and I love them, so don't be surprised if they are posted before anything in a previous category”

(Lbr, if I added something about them in this post at all, it’s because they sparked some memory.)

Mosaic broken hearts: CJ, circa S4, jealousy. Prompted by a former fandom friend, back in my productive era (first half of 2021; before that friend just ghosted me.)

I can’t believe I captured your heart (pancake breakfast, three words and eight letters). For a while there, I edited it so much but then I fell off. iirc, it was part of some morning-related prompts I saw around that I tried to fulfill in 2018? 2019? And they had like internal progression. But this one was the best of the 3-4, and I kept tweaking it.

Green light of forgiveness (IM-ish) — there are many other IM/IM-Tomorrow snippets I’ve written over the years. I’m not sure if this one makes much sense, but I liked it enough.

Distance — I recall liking this one! Might have to bump it up. CJ is in Africa, Danny is at the Farm and sulking because they left off on some sort of argument. There is some Danny-Abbey friendship goodness here. I even have a second file that is “Distance - shorter version (it’s not)”

Danny writes fiction, shows it to CJ during her pregnancy and she’s into it. Technically written. I would probably try to take another stab at it. Third time might be the charm?

San Andreo phone call/fallout from ID. I just had the idea of CJ reaching out once things calm down. This is one of those fics I’ve written a version of every year or so, but I think there was one I liked quite a bit.

Terrible taste in men — a run-in with an OC ex of CJ. It was so dumb.

Fka Impatience - actually beta’d three years ago (by that fandom friend I've mentioned twice before… actually, three times) and “done”. I just think I’d change so much about it these days. It started being something else but ended up being a CJ-Toby friendship story in which they have lunch and catch up. But I would want to rewrite most of it now, and not just because it’s from like… 2019 (but finished in 2021).

I forgot this one initially! he's passing by, rare as the comet in my sky - 2? 3? times CJ thinks she sees Danny somewhere, and one time she does. (Which tried to work in the 'I remember shunning you' line.) I even wrote some sort of sequel later! Probably useless.

I said I would post a lightning round with fics that are either also done but not ready for me to mention them, or just… not done at all. The length of this post and how much I've spent on it is embarrassing. To give a general overview: in line with the nonsense I've been mentioning, includes phone calls at the end of S7, also a few friendship-focused fics around that time, too; present-day stuff; anniversaries; Hollis fundraisers; weddings; many ficlets, introspective thoughts, a “yes day” fic that's super sweet but needs better dares, the third memoir idea (the original one!!!!) that I had three years ago… And those are mostly the ones I had preselected, lol.

If you're interested, I can screenshoot this part in the notes app if you message me!

Anyway, this is embarrassing, and the worst part is that it's not all. fml.

#tell other people about your wips #wip memes #my writing #should I even tag this with the show or the pairing?????#long post

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bunglegaydogs · 11 months

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i hate twitter

i fucking hate it i want to burn it i despise twitter with a fucking passion

this post, look in the tags

it actually rages me and this is why i hate twitter and this is why im going to go into a rant about how these characters actually do have fucking depth and personality to them and that people need to stop pushing their outrageous agendas on people and being toxic xoxo

So, one main point I want to make is obviously Dazai and Chuuya, that's my main point here. They are separate entities as much as they are one. They have their own personalities, their own pasts, their own feelings, thoughts; they're fucking human. But something that a lot of people seem to want to do is make Chuuya's personality Dazai. That Chuuya is salty with him for leaving the mafia, and that Chuuya's "trauma" is Dazai (that man has fucking far worse trauma, Dazai leaving the mafia is not traumatic to him, especially when it had nothing to fucking do with the poor guy), and that his whole being is simply just Dazai. Dazai, the man who admitted that he spent every waking second thinking about Chuuya. The guy who got himself caught by the mafia partly because he wanted to see Chuuya. Are we all forgetting the dead apple scene? It's far more accurate to say that Dazai's personality is Chuuya, jesus fucking christ. That guy forgot to breathe when he watched Chuuya fighting like??? He's so homo, anyways.

Their characters are integral to each other, and they're made for one another (I'm saying this as a character creating thing, not romantically lmao (although-) ) and they compliment each other perfectly, they're perfect rivals. And, they can stand on their own as their own people, their own characters. Yes, whilst we meet Chuuya through Dazai in the series, and we see him as Dazai's ex-partner, the more information we get and the more content we receive about/from Chuuya steadily make him his own individual character, and Stormbringer cemented that.

I'm going to talk about the "Chuuya has trauma from Dazai leaving" thing because I saw it on Wattpad and it pissed me off.

Chuuya's trauma doesn't stem from Dazai, of fucking course it doesn't. It stems from Arahabaki, it stems from not knowing who he is, it stems from N (piece of shit), it stems from all his friends dying, it stems from being betray by his friends; this fucking guy has been put through the fucking mill, and yet the only thing that people like to focus on is how Dazai leaving affected him.

Dazai's defection from the mafia wasn't because of Chuuya, it was because of Oda. This is blatantly fucking obvious, yet again, some people like to think otherwise. Some people like to believe the most abhorrent shit. I swear there was someone one time that said he left because he "couldn't handle his feelings ofr Chuuya" like fuck off oh my god oh my god.

These two each have their own issues and their own traumas separate from each other. Can we please let Chuuya be his own character and let him have a personality without shitting on it?

These motherfuckers will scratch at anything, absolutely anything, to make anything about Chuuya to do with Dazai. Not every bad thing that happens to a character has to be topped by your deluded fantasies. "Oh, Chuuya was tortured? But Dazai-" LIKE NO FUCK OFF. We literally have NOTHING on the man, and you want to make some bullshit up just so that he can, what, be more mentally ill than others? Bruh? I don't know what these people are scheming or planning, but comparing trauma and saying that a character's is worse is so fucking awful and makes others feel like shit. I've always struggled with mine, because I constantly tell myself that worse things have happened to worse people, so I am a hypocrite here. But I understand how trauma works and affects people, and that it affects people differently. Your worst experience could be different to somebody elses, but you'll both be heavily affected by it. Chuuya doesn't show signs of the amount of immense trauma he has (mans internalises it and won't let himself show it because that's how he is pls PLS somebody give this man a fucking hug) whereas Dazai is clearly not right in the head; this doesn't mean you're allowed to say "Oh, Dazai has worse trauma clearly" because we have nothing about his past. We hardly have anything from his time at the mafia except his first mission, and his last. What happened in between for those 3-4 years? We don't know. We know bits now thanks to Stormbringer and Dead Apple about the Dragon's Head Conflict, but we still don't have much to go off. We haven't even had so much as a hint towards the first 14 years of his life, and we don't know anything about those two years he went undercover, except that he was unemployed and frequented Bar Lupin (I always thought about how the bartender felt after finding out about Oda but hey :') ), but other than that, we have virtually nothing on the man. We never know how he's feeling, what he's thinking, etc. He is a complex character, and he's made that way as a character because, and I cannot stress this enough, that is his character. Sorry, I derailed a bit there. Anyways, what I mean to say is that you can't use Dazai being bat-shit crazy as evidence for your delusions. That's his character, and yes, he may be influenced by his trauma, but we can only speculate. Clearly something has gone awry in his life for him to think the way he does and to crave death so badly, and to just be the way he is now. But, as I said before, trauma affects everyone differently. Just because Chuuya doesn't want to fucking kill himself does not mean that his trauma should be brushed aside and glossed over. Chuuya puts up a front because he doesn't want to be weak; all his life people have relied on his ability and his strength and wit to get them through, and even though the Mafia go a different way about it than the sheep, his ability and strength is still utilised; it's like Sigma, and Yosano. Nobody wants to be used, yet they still end up in a cycle of it until someone can come along to get them out of it. Supposedly Chuuya has been taken out of that cycle from the Sheep, but not necessarily so. Yes, the Mafia treats him better. But it doesn't really. Ah fuck I'm making zero sense yikes. Sorry, my bad. Ignore that lol.

ANYWAY sorry to cut this short, but my point still stands that Chuuya's character and personality does not solely revolve around Dazai, the man who has his ex-partner on his mind 24/7 and makes him come save him like a disney princess. Anyways lol.

These characters are their own people, and trauma isn't a competition. You don't have to come up with the most abhorrent shit to make Dazai's situation "worse" and then force that onto everyone else and start berating and belittling them when they don't believe you. ANYWAYS I am so sorry about this, the last few nights have been hectic for me.

Anyways I'll definitely be coming back to this, rn I'm honestly just too fucked to finish <3

have a lovely day/night <3

#i hate mischaracterisations #and i hate people twisting the characters around negatively #leave them bitches alone #trauma isnt a fucking competition #i cannot stress this enough #SIGHHHHHHH #need to stop before i get properly enraged lol #bungou stray dogs #bsd #anime #manga #novels #light novels #book #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #rant #skk #soukoku

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olympiansally · 1 year

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EXCUSE ME??? YOU CAN'T JUST DROP THAT IN THE TAGS??? Im gonna need some Mikami/Beyond food-for-thought ramblings ASAP. Indoctrinate me into this cult, please and thank you <3

I laughed so much when I saw these, I show one inch of unraveling and yall pounce lmao You guys really want me to be the messiah huh? Just want me to let out the crazy! I guess everyone can blame you two for what is about to be unleashed then!! LMAO

Also, @seventhfracture my beloved it is hilarious that you chose to word this like that because one of the main things that plague my brain for Beyond and Mikami is an actual Cult leaders AU so like yes lets start the indoctrination, sure :’)

But alright alright here goes the rambling, because I make no promises of this being super coherent, but!

Beyond and Mikami have the most unhinged ship potential because they are exactly what the other wants, but in the worst way possible. I’m talking toxic levels of encouraging each other’s worst impulses, I’m talking “whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same”, but the thing the souls are made of is arsenic.

To me they are a twisted funhouse lawlight, but worse. Except, being worse is what lets them actually make it work because their thing isn’t competing, it’s encouraging.

Lawlight is all about I’m the only one who can stop them, I’m the only one who can keep up while Beyond and Mikami would be something more yes, yes kill them all, burn everything to the ground baby.

I will admit that I first started thinking about them in the silliest way. My brain just connected the dots between Beyond Birthday “I have never even been submissive to a traffic signal” and Teru Mikami “Kira’s most obediently submissive little worshiper” Mikami and I was was like oh, oh they would fuck so nasty!

And tbh I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them ever since lmao

And then, the more I though about it, the more I realized the dynamic between them would also be all kinds of interesting in ways other than just the kinky sex - which tbh, already makes the ship quite compelling in my book lmao. But the contrast in their personalities! The way they can give each other exactly what they want, but fully ruin one another in the process!!

To put it simply, Beyond has always wanted to be special and Mikami wants someone to worship. Now put them together? Nasty horrible codependence :’)

Growing up the way he did - Wammy’s, L, being the backup - Beyond has always been second best, has always craved being seen and valued. He has an arrogant sort of confidence that is a clear front for his feelings of not being good enough, not being worthy. And yet, he is the most unhinged, the most fearless, the most willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants - even in the midst of so many ruthless death note characters.

Similarly, Mikami doesn’t fear societal judgement. He thinks everyone else is wrong and he is the only wholesome righteous person alive, he thrives in not quite belonging because it allows him to twist himself into a “good man” martyr in his own mind - so much so that seeing someone acting in accordance to his own beliefs made him immediately assume that must be a God, because if he is heaven’s most perfect little angel, then whoever agrees with him while having more power to act on it must be a God. And yet! Mikami is just desperate to belong to someone, to make someone happy and in doing so, become someone valuable.

In a way, it’s all about their individual abandonment issues and lack of belonging and the way those experiences shaped them into people who find a wicked sort of comfort in their otherness.

In a way, that’s just like lawlight - except L and Light try to be justice, they try to do some good. But Beyond and Mikami don’t really care about what anyone’s perception of “good” is. Beyond doesn’t much care for good, unless it’s defined by someone he’s trying to impress and Mikami doesn’t think anyone but him truly understands what’s good (until of course he meets Light, but that’s not where we’re going with this). And that? The matching disregard for societal morality combined with the potential for codependency? It makes them a perfect template for absolutely deranged villains if ever put together!

And yes, Mikami’s whole strict orderly and organized way to go about things would probably clash with Beyond’s messier impulses at first. But that’s where their contrast becomes most interesting, because who better than crazy crazy Beyond Birthday to unravel Mikami’s uptightness? Who better to guide him into letting go? And Beyond’s single minded type of fearless focus given direction? Put under the guidance of Mikami’s certainty of a higher purpose? Beyond could take the shape of a chaotic vengeful God in Mikami’s eyes - as cruel and punishing as Mikami always dreamed consequences should be.

Meanwhile, Beyond - always second best to L, never good enough growing up, Backup - would revel in the worship, in being valued and it would likely push him to lean further into the whole thing - kill more, punish more, make it crueler. Not because that was his initial intention, but because he was raised to follow the instructions of someone he was meant to please and well, if falling in love means that person becomes Mikami rather than Watari, then too bad for the “criminals” of the world.

I think the fact that they feed each other’s desperation could be so… feral? I mean, Mikami is shown to thrive on scraps of affection - again, see Light - and Beyond has the potential for the type of cruelty - a byproduct of growing up at Wammy’s that L also displays, see Misa being tortured for example - that would make Mikami elevate him into the highest of pedestals, make him into that fearless God delivering divine punishment. He doesn’t share any of Light’s restraints due to trying to follow his dad’s moral code. Mikami is shown in canon to be even less forgiven than Light towards criminals, Beyond is supposed to be even less concerned about the greater good than L. Together? An absolute reign of terror! And the worship? The devotion?? That would probably be addictive to Beyond’s attention starved crazy, which means he’d lean into it and probably start performing right into Mikami’s belief system in order to reaffirm his godhood.

In a way, it’d be a vicious cycle of starved for affection, their very own lovesick ouroboros: Beyond delivers the punishing wrath Mikami has always hoped for and the fact that it’s being delivered by his own personal God reaffirms to Mikami that he is righteous, that he is special. The more Beyond confirms Mikami’s beliefs, the more Mikami is willing to worship, which in turn confirms to Beyond that he is doing the right thing and therefore should keep doing it, which makes Mikami love him more and so on and so forth.

If Mikami wants him to kill then it’s the right thing to do, if Beyond kills then it’s the right thing for Mikami to want - a never ending cycle. It’s the opposing force to lawlight’s combative friction, a downwards spiral in which the more they do, the more they are encouraged to do.

Anyway! I’m gonna cut myself off here before I get too carried away because once I get really started about them there’s so much lmao

But I will say that my favorite way to ponder their dynamic is as a twisted reflection of lawlight. I fully believe Beyond-wannabe-L-Birthday and Teru-wannabe-Light-Mikami would have thrown out the yearning immediately upon meeting and jumped straight into horribly entertaining codependency. My absolute favorite though? Lawlight investigating the shinigami eyed boyfriends. I mean the fun mirror versions interacting with each other while the twisted relationships unfold? Idk man drives me insane tbh

So yeah! This feels like more than enough for now, even though yes I could probably talk about them forever lmao

Thank you for indulging me my beloveds, it was fun :)

#me spoting these asks: oh no oh no I’m about to lose my mind publicly :’)#lmao #but ahhh it’s always nice to get a change to talk about these guys #honestly though I really love that you two saw me unravel a bit in the tags on that one post and went uhh MORE!!!#I appreciate the enthusiasm <3 #as you can tell by the sheer lenght of this ooops lmao #oh wait actually!! final additional fun fact:#this came at a funny moment because I am currently almost done editing a lawlight fic that very much contains Beyond and Mikami making out #so uhh have at it? lmao #beyond birthday #teru mikami #beyond x mikami #death note #labb murder cases #labb #ask tag

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queenimmadolla · 1 year

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alrighty, this fucking sucks to type because I hate having to address anything like this on here when this blog was made to dump my fangirl thoughts and fics into and talk to others with the same interest in it as me, not nearly anything serious. i thought it was me being and acting like an adult, and I’m sure im gonna regret this (not for the reason one would think, but because I’m aware a large majority of tumblr users are—for lack of better words and a more commonly known term—perpetually online) but it appears more so like we have a heavy bystander effect going on, and yes, I can unfortunately admit I was a part of that. look the other way, right?

why the heck are so many people deleting their accounts, and why are so many other people afraid to talk about it? I get it, maybe one person deleting isn’t concerning, maybe they needed a break. but two, three, all in the span of like two days and somehow everyone is afraid and anxious to talk about why?

that’s not normal my friends, that is like the Voldemort effect, don’t speak of it or bad things will happen. what’s going on? this fandom is starting to seem more and more unfriendly and policed, which is completely ridiculous given how acceptance, friendship and differences are the heart of the show.

I’m not gonna lie and say I haven’t seen or heard things because whether anyone likes it or not, shit shows up on other people’s dashes even if it isn’t tagged, depending on who interacts with it. I’m not gonna say anything further on that, people hate context here and I’m not about to be attacked by anons who developed Main Character syndrome, all I’m simply going to ask is can we all just stop and go back to posting content, reblogging it, liking it, IGNORING IT IF WE DO NOT LIKE IT, and letting others live? talk to the people you like, make friends, I’m so happy for you if you can but if you can’t and you come across someone you don’t like, simply leave them alone. don’t encourage hate, definitely discourage it if you can, but standing around and saying/doing nothing is making this place unbearable. I am too fucking old for this. feels like I’m in high school all over again and every freaking clique is fighting and i’m tryna address it without having my high school peers rip me to shreds in their group chats.

it’s easy for people to leave at the drop of a hat because I promise you it’s probably been on there minds for a while now. and they’ve reached a snapping point, which is so unfortunate. It’s not the fics I care about losing (yes, I appreciated them and loved them), it’s the people who wrote them I care about more. so whatever this is, let’s stop it, yeah?

this isn’t a call-out post (and if you feel called out, sorry, but also why do you feel that way???) this is a please let’s just put a fucking end to this post. it’s ridiculous. we write fucking fanfiction about people who don’t exist. there’s no reason to be making people who do exist feel like they can’t do so in this space.

thanks for reading!

🩷 vivi

#reblogs are allowed #with some very tough love

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crepuscularqueens · 7 months

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tysm for the tag @sambambucky <3 <3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

193,604

3. What fandoms do you write for?

marvel (mostly sambucky but i've played around with other pairings), the magicians (penntin, queliot, wickoff), ofmd, and one black sails fic (despite that being my main fandom i guess lmao, it's so hard to write for because i can't make it better. i just have to make it worse. and boy do i have plans to make it Worse.) (also i do have an rnm fic, almost forgot about that! i would love to write more i just need the inspiration and motivation to hit at the same time lmao)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

he kisses me softly to wake me up (by a wild amount, which i think was just luck of timing with that fandom blowing up overnight) flowers for the gentleman (first published sambucky fic. looking back on it it's like... cute but could be better. natasha is in it though) held by you (felled by you) (my fav of the ofmd fics i put up, personally) what you wanted (first of my tfatws series that accompanied the show. literally wrote each fic as the episodes came out, it was so fun and idk how tf i kept up with it) hear my name in your mouth and i'm done for (hahaha. yeah.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i love responding to comments hehehe! bc i love getting responses when i comment on other author's fics idk it just feels so fun! and when you notice the same people commenting on your fics idk it's just. holding hands with all of you love you sm <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

omg uhhhh jinx i think mine also be a samsteve one lol. stuck in the bed where we lie bc i love writing angst but i usually resolve it? but they're my favorite tragedy forever.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm i guess after it all calms down? resolution of my tfatws series

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not on anything that's still up teehee <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

it's mainly what i write haha oops

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

crossover is when there are characters from two separate medias in one fic right? not like taking characters from one universe and putting them in the other? if it's the first then... no not anymore. no further questions.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of (i'm not like... overly concerned by the idea)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

someone once translated a teen wolf fic i wrote into russain

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but i am open to the idea of collaborating like that (i've done events where i drew art to accompany a fic which was really fun and i miss that event a lot)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

i am so so bad at picking favorites, but if you want to go by what i have the most fics and wips for it would be sambucky

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i want to finish shores begging for big moons so badly im so sorry to everyone because. it was so so fun to write! and i had this big grand plan and knew how it would all work out and then.... i hit a wall and now it's been years and i cry for her every day. i could save her! i could do it! but i also need to reread it bc i can't remember the details anymore lmao. it's a daunting task.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think like... rhythm if that makes sense? like i get into a groove of this is what is happening, here are the beats, this is the action and this is the dialogue and it flows so nicely and has a good rhythm to it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

focusing. i get distracted soooo easily, what is that all about haha. ha.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i love seeing it in fic! i'm always scared to include it bc i don't want to mess anything up, so i usually have it from another character's POV and that they don't know what's being said. which is a cop out, i know. i should probably be better about looking into translations!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

harry potter (i know. there is no need to talk about it)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

how do i choose! tbh it's a tie between i bit the fruit and holy water. don't read into that.

absolute no pressure tags for @dr-lizortecho @unwholesome-gay @verdanthoney @nymhciv !

#mine #thank you again for the tag jo :)

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