Tumgik
#im past the point of saving
astarionancuntnin · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
he consumes my every thought
astarion + text posts (part 8)
255 notes · View notes
tangledinink · 6 months
Text
clenches fist. finally sucked it up and ordered a new ipad...
95 notes · View notes
bonefall · 11 months
Note
Are you going to keep Goosefeather's curse? If so are you going to change anything about it? From my memory the book was... depressing.
It will probably get rolled into Pinestar's Crusade, building it up into an SE rather than just a novella. There's actually a lot going on in that specific moment, and it makes sense to go over it all at once.
So to answer your question, yes, most of Goosefeather's Curse is staying. Most of the Crusade Generation have depressing stories to tell. If the Thistle Period is defined by the fact that Thistle Law metastasized and went terminal, and if the Campaign Era was when it was newly born, then the Crusade Era was when it was first conceived.
I've been thinking about Pinestar's Crusade idly and mentioned it a few times, but here's my fragments so far;
PINESTAR'S CRUSADE (Fuses Pinestar's Choice and Goosefeather's Curse)
We start in the Crusade Era; there is now more focus on 3 major characters, though it's still built around Pinestar as the POV
Pinestar, Goosefeather, and eventually Pinepaw's apprentice Speckletail.
Pinepaw is born into the start of the Crusades, a bloody period where the Clans are invading Chelford and brutalizing cats in the hopes of appeasing StarClan. He only begins to learn the full story of what happened in Darkstar's Commandment once he begins going to Gatherings as a warrior
The truth being that Oakstar came up with this idea because he couldn't take an L
But even as an apprentice, it becomes quickly apparent to him that what they're doing is evil. They were brutalizing kittypets who aren't trained to fight back.
During his first raid as an apprentice, he allows a ginger-and-white mother and her kittens to escape
This came back years later, when that queen, Crystal, forms BloodClan in response to the Crusades.
Pineheart watches Oakstar die barely a year later to the queen he saved, using early claw extenders to cut right through him. Even if he hadn't been on his last life, it would have ended him.
But, Crystal lets Pineheart go, recognizing the Clan cat who had saved her life.
Watching his dad die along with several friends, and countless more innocent Chelford, plus being released by Crystal, is a Formative Moment.
Doestar continues the Crusades in the name of revenge for Oakstar, but now that BloodClan exists and is ARMED, the easy raids become bloodbaths.
They slowly peter out, not with a bang but with a whimper. She never announces an official end, eventually she just stops organizing them. No one gets closure, especially not Pineheart.
But the 'peace' doesn't last. Just before Heatherstar takes power from Smallstar and begins the Campaign to take the Mothermouth Moorland, ThunderClan deals with the Great Hunger
Pineheart and Goosefeather become very good friends, part of a little buddy group that also included Tawnyspots and Pheasantfeather (who will become One-eye later)
Pineheart was given his first apprentice, a rowdy little one and the niece of Doestar, Specklepaw. He's tasked with helping her fill the pawsteps of greatness she's destined to walk in.
Just like canon, Goose predicts the Great Hunger... though, he is an adult this time around because of some timeline changes.
And, like canon, it fails. They couldn't stockpile enough food to last an entire year of famine, a scorching summer and a frozen winter, they end up losing a huge stock of their food as if it was destiny.
Goosefeather was forced into a role he hates, given horrible visions of the future, and argues ferociously with Pineheart; if they hadn't tried to stockpile, they wouldn't have lost all that food to begin with.
It is in this moment, he comes to realize that every time he's fought back and used his visions like a warning, it's backfired.
So, perhaps, they are instruction.
But, meanwhile, Pineheart can't loose his apprentice or his friends. While others were hunting desperately, he was keeping cats alive through scouting for grubs, foraying into other territories, and...
Every bite of kittypet food he took for himself was a morsel in someone else's mouth. But this... this he kept quiet.
It started a "bad habit" he could never break.
Having lost the previous deputy to starvation and on her deathbed, Doestar nominates Pineheart to the position. He was shocked and upset by this, but he was the obvious choice.
Son of Oakstar, Hero of the Hunger, the cat who had kept Specklepaw alive when all the other kits and apprentices starved.
But, Pinestar took the helm to extreme controversy.
Everything Pinestar's ever done that worked was nonviolent. He's never seen battle do anything but bring harm, and the thought of leading people into war... it makes him feel sick.
But the rest of the Clan can't see what he sees. They yearn for the glory days (even though they were not glorious at all), itch to die for a cause, and leave this old, disgusting subsistence survival behind them. ThunderClan wants blood and Pinestar just wants peace.
Taking back Sunningrocks is an example of this. To avoid losing Clanmates, he proposed to Hailstar that they would have a Joust, instead.
ThunderClan's strongest against RiverClan's strongest. Adderfang vs Mudfur.
It didn't go well.
The problem with those sorts of situations is you have to abide by the deal. RiverClan took Sunningrocks for 6 months. It was humiliating for ThunderClan.
Even the cats he'd saved from the famine were furious with him
The only things that DID seem to please the Clan was when he would throw them fully into battle. Such as Goosefeather's prophecy that WindClan's herbs needed to be destroyed...
Every time a situation like that happened, where Goosefeather would phrase things as a Holy Struggle, Pinestar was thrown right back to the Crusades
Terrified eyes, screeching, cats begging for mercy, his father dead at his paws and feeling horror and relief swirling
Sitting vigil for old friends killed in these horrible fights, like Moonflower, it made him feel like how he felt the day he buried Oakstar.
And the bile rose in his throat, remembering that Oakstar was not there at his Leadership Ceremony, damned to the Dark Forest.
A thought was born, here. What does StarClan truly want? What do they expect of him? If they will send the architect of the Crusades there...
What of a cat who stayed fed on human food and fed grubs to his Clanmates? Or a leader who never knows the right thing to do?
When Mumblefoot retired and Sunfall became deputy, the Clan seemed to love him more than Pinestar. He found himself just... sitting back, and allowing Sunfall to call the shots.
It was towards the end, when Leopardfoot proposed an Honor Siring. He was from a glorious legacy, she wanted kits... and on his end, he wanted the peace that raising kittens could bring.
The warmth of human dens was calling him, but perhaps the warmth of love for children could keep him home.
UNLIKE CANON; Nothing about Tigerkit was born evil.
There was no StarClan vision of Tigerstar; Goosefeather knew full well that Thistlestar was the Leader of Prophecy.
But Pinestar would never give Thistleclaw an apprentice in time. Nor would he ever give his own little son to a cat as vicious as him.
Goosefeather never hurt anyone... but Pinestar just needed a push.
Pinestar was already anxious, unhappy, clinging to the goodness that was his little kits. Even as two of them were lost to minor illnesses, shortly after receiving their names.
It wasn't a lie. It was just half of the truth.
"Pinestar... you have a choice to make. StarClan has given me a vision of blood and war, and Tigerkit will have a role to play in it."
He DID have a vision... of Thistlestar. Not Tigerkit. But that was enough for Pinestar, his fear and trauma took the helm from there.
He'd seen his friends, his apprentice, the kits who had been born and died in his rule, all of them turn into the monsters Clan Culture demanded
Nothing he did ever seemed to work, why would THIS moment be different?
How could he prevent Tigerkit from becoming like that too?! Was StarClan telling him to KILL his son??
Pinestar's never had a vision from StarClan. He doesn't have the aptitude like a Cleric... what he has is a nightmare, of Tigerkit growing so large he crushes the whole camp under his claws
After a week of agony, Pinestar unknowingly creates a prophecy of his own,
"Can only the death of a child break fate?"
Sensing he was close to victory, Goosefeather dipped his head, not denying his question.
And it's the last straw.
And that is the climax of Pinestar's Crusade. Broken from his experiences, every turn taken for peace causing him more pain, the idea that he might have to hurt his own son plaguing his mind, he makes the choice to leave.
It wasn't hard, he'd still had that old bad habit of taking bites of kittypet food, a couple friends on the other side. But what he doesn't know is that by leaving with his life... he prevents Sunstar from acquiring his own.
Sunstar had ONE single life, StarClan was not able to give him more with the previous leader still alive. For leaving his Clan, for unknowingly preventing the transfer of power, and for dismissing the Warrior Code, Pinestar is sent to the Dark Forest after his death.
He can choose to walk there, or spend time in the mortal plane as just a spirit, but StarClan offers him no place in the cosmos.
147 notes · View notes
pixlokita · 1 year
Note
Imagine micheal introducing Cassie to Gregory and Evan like: “meet your new sister” while both of them are like “what”
Well if Gregory knows her It would go down more like
Gregory: everyone meet Cassie, she’s my sister.
Michael: -gasp- daughter?
Cassie: what
Gregory: ignore him-
Cc: niece ?
Gregory: no?!
137 notes · View notes
sieglinde-freud · 6 months
Text
feel like morgan/lucina is kinda underrated like i get why. but also like… duuude… take it from lucinas perspective: the kid of the fell god that betrayed your father turns against you despite years and years of friendship and most definitely knowing eachother since birth (do you honestly think chrom and robin wouldnt set their kids up on play dates immediately? really??) and despite how much you love them you know they’re beyond saving and you have to leave them behind to succumb to grima when you go back in time to save the world, accepting that youll never see them again! oh shit buts whats this… they show up in the past anyways? having forgotten all the time you spent together, the trouble they caused, everything you meant to them? but its them, its morgan and for the first time in years youre able to see them again happy, carefree, and in complete control! should you feel sad? scared? overjoyed? i dont know! but slap some yuri on that and you got a crazy ass little sideplot all im saying!!!
25 notes · View notes
dizzybizz · 1 year
Text
some magma pages from the past few days <333
@polyphonial, @2sc4rghost, @seasonalberries and @eternal-moss (oh yeah my brother also contributed a bit)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
💞💖💕💓💗💘💝❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍
86 notes · View notes
deus-ex-mona · 2 months
Text
series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨#and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate#so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah.#thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou#i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh#compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol#i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help—#so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig#my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa#i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control…#b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you#tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao#so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol#but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato)#so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though#either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane#i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date…#at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration…#…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig.#oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far…#i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience.#help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m.#anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee
15 notes · View notes
leqclerc · 1 year
Note
Do you have some sebchal recs? I try to look on ao3 but I barely find any, so I imagine most of their fics are more old
Hello! ❤️
Interestingly, I find myself having the opposite problem. I feel like the fandom - and, by extension, the interest in Seb/Charles as a ship - has grown exponentially since 2020. I think there's like forty pages of published works on ao3 right now. Which might not seem like a lot, especially when compared to other juggernaut ships or fandoms, but considering the fact that there were maybe 3 when I first looked up the tag... 😳 Anyway, over time I've kind of figured out what I like and what I don't like in relation to the ship, so these days I tend to be more selective and pick through to find what really speaks to me, what really knocks my socks off, if that makes sense. 😂 We all have different tastes, both as readers and authors, so different people will gravitate toward different things. Not everything scratches the itch, basically. TL;DR: it really depends on what you're looking for and what you like. 👀
That being said, here are some of the fics that made an impression/that I find myself coming back to:
Canon/Canon Adjacent (aka still set somewhere in the realm of F1):
postcards from places that miss you by streetlightsky T | 15,108 words ↳ Seb wanted to leave quietly. That was the one thing he had asked above all else. Or, the one where Seb retires, but Charles refuses to let him disappear. -> I honestly recommend pretty much anything by this author ⭐ immortality on their faces, night at their back by wintrs E | 16,147 words ↳ Sebastian had always wondered about Charles—but maybe he’d known the truth all along, and he’d just never let himself acknowledge it. no flowers, no flashbulbs by superoxide E | 10,736 words ↳ Sebastian frowns, without thinking. They’d both ridiculed the idea of some kind of staged paparazzi friendliness when it had come up. He wonders what has turned Charles around on the idea so suddenly. (Charles has a plan to improve their image; Sebastian is less convinced.) see you falling by redpaint E | 3,653 words ↳ “I can’t— There are no words. No words. I just need to get this out of my head, okay? Before you go.” -> I honestly recommend pretty much anything by this author, especially the 'conflict resolution' series for that 2019 feel⭐ those who miss each other by sionisjaune E | 8,401 words ↳ Charles’s phone is burning a hole in his pocket. This is something he should be filming, but he doesn’t want to. He thinks he shouldn’t, for some reason. He thinks he can keep this encounter for himself. + bonus: (yes I'm sharing my own fic shhhh) been a long year by ssilverarrowss M | 7,123 words ↳ The days stubbornly march forward. Sometimes it feels agonisingly slow, and sometimes it feels like everything is moving too quickly, like Charles is going to blink and all the time he’s spent with Sebastian will be in the rearview, gone forever.
Alternate Universe:
scenes from an american artist by tetrapod M | 9,389 words ↳ Excerpt from an interview with Charles Leclerc. August 1974. Q: How did it all end? CL: The way all relationships end, I suppose. Inevitably. flesh of my flesh by charlotte_stant E | 4,749 words ↳ Sebastian, still smiling, tilts his head and looks at Charles speculatively. “Can I take you for a drive, Father?" he asks. "To continue our conversation. I find myself in need of… spiritual direction.” Charles ought to say no, but he doesn’t even consider it, not really. Sometimes falling is like that: as easy as opening your mouth and saying “Yes.” the language of another world by redpaint G | 2,568 words ↳ Charles is sent down from Oxford (drunkenness, absenteeism, behavior unbecoming of a Balliol man) and becomes the research assistant to a botanist who is doing fieldwork in the Shetland Islands. and VASI to guide you in by anonymous T | 1,375 words ↳ Nobody at the tiny Aeroporto di Maranello Enzo Ferrari can figure out why and how the runway lights manage to stay on through the night—long after curfew and long after the last worker has left the premises, taking the main ops key with them. However, newly promoted Captain Charles Leclerc of floundering charter airline Ferrari Air knows the answer to that question. He just won’t tell it to anyone. Ever. the tools to rebuild by astronomical_light T | 22,645 words ↳ After months of stagnating in his recovery following a high-speed crash, Charles gets referred to a specialist clinic tucked away in the Swiss mountainside that feels as much like a high-end wellness retreat as it does a physical rehabilitation program. He doesn’t have many expectations going into it, but he knows one thing for sure—he definitely wasn’t expecting Sebastian.
Seb/Charles feat. other pairings:
stringe il cuore della stella morente by partywitharichzombie E | 14,634 words ↳ The announcement is almost poetic in its sweet simplicity: a photo of Daniel, aged three, the cavallino rampante a stark contrast against the white of his oversized t-shirt, radiant grin as disarming then as it is now. No caption. None necessary. (Daniel signs with Ferrari for 2021 and beyond. He hopes he and Charles can avoid ending up in a scenario of assured mutual destruction.) high speed weekend survivor by babypapaya T | 18,608 words ↳ Formula Student is a student engineering competition held annually in the UK. Student teams from around the world design, build, test, and race a small-scale formula style racing car. (in) clover by tetrapod T | 5,895 words ↳ “I was thinking we could take the boat out,” Charles said. spacetime invariants by distressedgremlin M | 6,615 words ↳ Lewis arrived midway through the season of dust storms. Sebastian met him on a shabby starport that barely clung to the atmosphere of a frozen-over planet, the only one within forty light-days’ distance that the dust did not reach.
48 notes · View notes
yourfavsinbg3 · 1 month
Text
Honor Mode Live Blog
Because I am a little gremlin, I've started yet another BG3 save file. To make it more interesting, I'm attempting honor mode and will be blogging about it! So... meet Lyra!
Tumblr media
Half-drow cleric of Selune, former guild artisan, and a brand spankin' new adventurer. She was inspired to become a cleric after following stories of The Blade of Frontiers. She was on her first ever solo mission when she got Yoinked by the Nautiloid. Her inexperience and naivety mean she's going to have an intense learning curve along this journey.
My last attempt at making a character to specifically romance Wyll failed so we're doing that again and this time I won't get distracted by Shadowheart... or Gale... or Lae'zel... Wyll's the last person I want to romance so it's just a matter of sticking with the save file.
Main traveling party seems like it's shaping up to be Wyll, Shadowheart, and Lae'zel. Double cleric parties can do some real nasty stuff (affectionate) and I have a feeling having more healers won't be a bad thing here. I'm still not sure what builds I'll be going for, so I'm researching that now before gettin beyond the Ravaged Beach.
6 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months
Text
...
#shout out to my nana for saying my dad spends money like water#my dad who struggles with the idea of spending money bc of obsessive compilation thoughts but is making an effort#bc whats the point of saving up all your life just to die. nana? my dad whose wife is literally dying of cancer and is beginning to circle#the drain so hes deciding he wants to start spending his retirement money now while shes still alive. u old witch. Jesus christ. my mum#isnt gonna live forever. shes getting her bladder removed in February i think. imo ill just b happy if she lives past the end of my 5year#program. like holy fuck. i mean. its not really nanas fault. she probably has 0cd and probably has 0cpd. but like this is y u wanna try to#get better. so you dont grow into a miserable old fuck whose family hates u bc ur awful and killing ur husband thru ur illness. just saying#as someone whose can see their own behaviors mirrored in her. this is y i cant go on like this lol#hopefully i hit my rock bottom last year. ugh. i just wish i could sleep. when im not super depressed i cant seem to get a normal amount of#sleep and im exhausted all afternoon. im awake at night and early in the morning. it makes me nauseous too. insomnia i guess#but ive always slept rather little. maybe it was compulsive and now im just old and cant take it#hate it. wish it would stop but at least i dont feel like dying anymore i guess. im guessing the meds r exacerbating thr sleep issues if not#causing it. ugh symptom management i guess#unrelated
10 notes · View notes
orbmanson7 · 3 months
Text
Me, every time I have the slightest struggle in life: voiceofnurse fics save me, voiceofnurse fics, save me voiceofnurse fics
5 notes · View notes
dimiclaudeblaigan · 9 months
Text
just got to the stupid zaharas chapter and went through dimi and claude's conversation and my god
they really did not use a single quarter of a brain cell when putting that conversation into ag
"your issue is with the church, not with faerghus?" eh wot hootie tootie claude never had a problem with faerghus and hasn't been acting like it. makes it sound like they've been fighting each other (i.e. this is meant to fit gw but and they just copy/pasted the whole conversation bc it just makes no sense).
"we have nothing to gain by fighting you." yeah, you... haven't been and never said you were planning to.
"we could've been friends." and whhhhyyyy can't you? there is an entire zero bad blood between y'all and lorenz has already pretty much said this whole second half of the war thing has been proof of the friendship between the kingdom and alliance soooo...?
"had i joined with you" uh um but you literally did this has been ongoing for half the war now
additional funnies are claude just being so butthurt that dimitri is like this might endanger your life and claude is like aw shucks my life has been endangered since i was born i'm basically an endangered species!
also, dimitri saying it brings guilt to do the things claude would do bc he's been there. lel. claude had no guilt in gw tho (for killing rhea and all that shit).
but fr tho, it just seems like gw claude and dimi got warped into zaharas and the ag ones are just passed out in the normal world having the same yeehaw ass fever dream LIKE
this entire conversation legitimately makes worse than zero sense. i can only imagine how confused people were who played ag first and got this conversation bc it like, legitimately has no place in this route. this is like a fever dream on steroids that were laced with drugs.
i was lucky i was playing ag while simultaneously watching the other routes on youtube or i would have also been absolutely bonkers confused.
#DCB Three Hopes Run#FR THO LIKE. THAT ENTIRE CONV IS LIKE. WHAT JUST HAPPENED???#WHERE DID THIS ALL EVEN COME FROM??? MATTHIAS IS ALIVE YOU KNOW#CLAUDE GOT TO SEE FAERGHUS' LEGENDARY HOSPITALITY (he fucked the king)#at this point like. im just laughing bc. did they even NOTICE the context they copy/pasted into this route???#even if ag claude post war still wanted to fight rhea and yadda yadda hoo haa#half the conv still makes absolutely no sense at all and doesn't even follow the route#ag is aaaaallllmmmmoooost perfect but then like. the oversights are so bad lmfao#i still look at this and am like. how. no like literally HOW. how did they look at this and not be like#hmmm this makes... so much of no sense to this route that we should prob make a new conv for it#WAIT I GET IT NOW THIS IS WHY RODRIGUE DIES#HE SAW THE FUTURE AND WAS LIKE OHHHH HELL NAH#RODRIGUE SAW THE ZAHARAS CHAPTER AND IT KILLED HIM. BUT! IT WAS A DOUBLE KILL! RODRIGUE DEFEATED THE ZAHARAS CHAPTER!#HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF SO AG WOULDN'T HAVE THE BIGGEST MOMENT OF WTF IN FODLAN GAME HISTORY EVEN INCLUDING HEROES#RODRIGUE SAVED US ALL. HE COULDN'T BEAR TO LET US WITNESS IT#THAT'S WHY IF HE SURVIVES WE GET THE CHAPTER!!! BC HE DIDN'T REALIZE IT WOULD HAPPEN SO HE DIDN'T KILL IT!#AND SINCE HE DIDN'T KILL IT IT DIDN'T KILL HIM BACK. IT'S LIKE THE BARRIER THINGY IN RD'S FINAL CHAPTER#THAT PROTECTS ASHERA. IT DOES HALF THE DAMAGE TO YOU THAT YOU DO TO IT#SO IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL IT CAN ACTUALLY KILL YOU. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO RODRIGUE#BUT THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT HE KNEW HE'D DIE BUT HE HAD TO DO IT TO EM#HE HAD TO DO IT TO SPARE EVERYONE THE WONKIEST FEVER DREAM KNOWN TO MAN AND DRAGONKIND
12 notes · View notes
merrysithmas · 2 years
Text
so i am reading The Book of Sith and it is really hitting me how STRONG Anakin was to overcome literally thousands of years of Sith consolidation of power and END it. he ended the Sith 🤯 all of the powerful Sith lords that came before him, all of the endless century-long brutal wars between the Sith and Jedi, the unrest in the galaxy -- the Force, through torment, put Anakin in a position to end it. And he did.
through the book we learn that the Sith have been placing sleeper agents in Jedi & Republic society for thousands of years - calling them forth to upend peace when least expected (such as Dooku, a high ranking person in Serenno culture). and i fully believe that's what the Force did in return, finally, with Anakin as Vader. Anakin in Vader was the Force's sleeper agent.
The Force had to create and torment someone so good that he would fall because of his weakness (LOVE) and yet be strong enough to withstand 20 years of guilt and torture on the Dark Side, so strong that he'd return to the Light and end the Sith from within, as one of them.
the Force created Anakin to fall. he was the Chosen One, the damned one, the demi god, the unlucky one, the hated one -- but the hero. it is why he found peace as a force ghost. a tragic hero.
Like!!! Vader, personally, after killing his Master, had the ability to instantly absorb ALL of Sidious' power - ten thousand years of malignant potent strength. Vader would be literally all-powerful...
and he rejected it 🥹😭😫
he outright rejected it for Luke, for Leia. he rejected it for love. he wasn't even tempted after Sidious died! he rejected the entire Sith lineage since Darth Bane, tore it to shreds and let it wither and die just so he could look at his son with "his own eyes". Luke (& Leia) - the whole reason he began the first assured steps to his fall in the first place. A desperation to save his children & padme.
he was so strong in the Light that he didn't claim the dark throne. but he not only didn't claim it - he destroyed it. for his children and everyone else in the galaxy. so that they might never know the pain and torture he endured on the Dark Side as Sidious' slave.
the book (which is, granted, "Legends") makes it clear under the Rule of Two that the apprentice never gets any Sith power. they are starved of it, servants of it, and slaves. the Sith Master keeps all of the dark power and the apprentice has nothing, is nothing. is treated as meat and Palpatine notes they are "easily replaceable when their usefulness runs out".
Anakin was the easiest target for him and he was manipulated since he was 9 years old. no mother to protect him. Sidious threw away Maul, Tryanus, and Vader of course was next.
but in the end he overcame all that: the Force's tragic destiny for him via the prophecy, Palpatine's evil manipulation of him as a small child, the lure of a hundred generations of Sith power, the evil he was conducted to commit under the duress of Palpatine to save his family (and the boundless guilt he felt for it), and the ultimate rank of a potential rule as Emperor Vader.
he rejected it all the second he got another chance - horrified at his fall the first time, bearing the burden of the prophecy (Anakin the Betrayer), taking responsibility for the acts he commited even though he was a demi god who was destined and thus never had any real free will.
he was a slave his entire life - born & died as one. he was only ever free in death.
and he was free in death because the moment he finally had a true choice of his own - after he fulfilled the Prophecy and ended the Sith - he chose to end the Sith, and let peace prevail.
at his truest form, finally given his own agency, he chose the Light.
anakin is a hero.
#anakin skywalker#sob#when ppl say he was -pure evil- im like ok are we seeing the same source material#being PURE EVIL and commiting evil are two diff things#he definitely commited evil acts as both anakin & vader#(and he had an ego and alter ego on top of it)#(like i think of the dark side as deluding such as a substance abuse - he isnt REALLY vader but vader is there in control regardless)#(and he is helpless to this alter ego as his prime ego is not strong enough)#but anyway#he commited evil but he wasnt evil at his soul - that is the whole point of hope in star wars and the whole point of luke skywalker#a person who believes in good#that anyone even someone who has made the worst mistakes (even if he was destined to!) can be saved with understanding and compassion#and it is only through compassion ultimately that we can make the world better - even if at times there us no choice but to act in defense#compassion must always prevail#and by 'saved' i mean can know himself as more than his mistakes and capable of what one wills despite the past#that there is always hope someone might come back from the dark#and to not damn this possibility with hate and scorn#even if we cant MAKE it happen it is possible#and in anakin's case he had a prophecy and his REAL moment of choice was when it was fulfilled#and he chose to do good#and he CHOSE IT BECAUSE LUKE WAS THERE TO BELIEVE HE COULD AND TO LOVE AND HELP HIM AND SHOW HIM IT WAS POSSIBLE#ugh my soul#it was possible for him to choose good
117 notes · View notes
kohakhearts · 6 months
Text
well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas
#taylor.txt#incapable of making this not a joke but i do have to say it kinda sucks#like obviously ive never been 100% free of my depression probably on account of it developing when i was a Child and then not getting any#treatment or even really any sympathy for until i was in my late teens but. BUT. even my historic mental breakdown 2 years ago didnt really#feel like depression. like yeah i was sad and hopeless but this is very different. sad and lethargic more so. simply too tired to be lost i#despair. which is i guess a good thing because it means its easier for me to fix. its just that right now im kinda stuck in it#i dont know if id say ive experienced major depression since my first year of uni#thats why ive been denying it all this time despite it being pretty…glaringly obvious#anyway. good news is im meeting with the prof of one of the classes im currently failing this week#and now i guess i kind of have an idea of what to tell her because all this time ive been struggling and i havent understood why#the content makes sense. i understand whats going on. but my memory has gotten so bad recently and the energy required to do my assignments#has been way too much. and im past my limit on that at this point unfortunately. like yeah shes probably gonna tell me well that sucks but#theres nothing i can do to save your grade and thats fine but at least i know even if it was a Me Problem that i let myself get depressed#again in the first place being actively depressed is a major barrier that i at least know isnt 100% me being an idiot with a bad attitude#i will struggle to the finish line but i will make it there. even if i fail a class or two in the process#and regardless of if it gets better i will finally go see my therapist again in the new year </3 something obviously led to this so whos to#say it wouldnt happen again if i just let that fester. whatever it is#also writing has been tough for the same reason school has been tough but its still happening and i will do more of it when school is over#i PROMMY
4 notes · View notes
mejomonster · 4 months
Text
When ppl in person realize i can draw, and i mention im writing, theyre like: oh are you making a comic? Then when i say no, it took me 30 days to do a 30 page 1 chapter comic last time I tried at 4-6 hours of work a day and ideally id like a turnaround of like one 30 page chapter per 1-2 weeks if i was going to do it long term so. No. I am not making comics any more.
Then theyre like: are u gonna illustrate ur book???
And while i deeply appreciate the sentiment. Its also like... well my good sir madam elder, do u typically... look for adult novels with illustration pages? I mean yes i love illustrations too but im not sure why id draw extra, when im already gonna probably make my own cover, and i want my books to be enough within confines of expected that ppl idk... give em a chance? Idk. Food for thought. Do i illustrate my book chapters mm
#rant#shdhdh#to be fair the person who asked me expected like a 100 page handwritten poem book with illustrations#not a 300-500 page novel when she asked if i was gonna do illustrations#i also like. for my Own indulgence. Considered a sexy Guide Book for my story universe. which is where yeah ALL my#goddamn character design sketches and map art and faerie illustrations and landscape art could go#since. i drew thousands of pictures when making lore lmao#but like. all that art is on paper. and i know itll take like 30 hours to 100 hours JUST SCANNING#pages individually one at a fucking time and saving tjem and. dear god the picture editing on them all#even withiut additional digital coloring is at least 5 minutes per picture. then who knows how many hours formatting a combined book with#all art. and thats before ANY text written. which is why i havent even made an art book. like of just art#hell its why i havent even backed up my 9 sketchbooks of traditional art from the past decade#its so much work its like 2000 pages of art. im just gonna let my family ancestors find iy if i get luxky#and its not desyroyed by the elements (like all my older art was ToT)#tldr my point is: i love love love art and i love the momentary joy it brings ppl i share it with#but as far as like Big output i prefer writing. its easier#art is fine wjen its like im paid to make 1 poster 1 flier 1 card one book cover etc#but ive never been commissioned to do like 20 illustrations ( i would tho! sounds like more money)#so like. on my own time for free as far as high scale takes days of work? id prefer to not do more art
2 notes · View notes
birdcatt · 8 months
Note
Started playing EotS cuz of you (knowing Darkrai played a role also had a hand in it) and OOOOUUUGHHH IM SCREAMING
Thank you for introducing this game to me via my browsing the Darkrai tag
Tumblr media
THATS AWESOME!!!!!! it makes me really happy to hear that i was the source of getting someone else into a thing i like
admittedly i dont play a lot of eos romhacks, and eots is the 2nd one ive completed, but its great!!!!!!! the start was admittedly confusing and, at first, not that fun to me when i first started (hero get your aggression under control!!! damn!!!!!) but once i actually got past that, it was great! i rewatched the ending several times, and when i wanted to see my skitty hero instead of the yter's hero, just recorded it myself LOL and then watched the cutscene
(lettie and didi's actual in-game names are Leditor and Pudding! leditor as in level editor because i was streaming to a modding community when i restarted and we were bein goofy. this did not take away the emotional impact)
ANYWAYS glad theres another eots player around!!!!! its so <3 it consumed my brain for a few days
playing as your hero and partner pair ever will make eots emotionally hit you harder. thats my recommendation. i could Feel the missed potential impact bc i used an entirely new team (never had skitty or totodile before! mainly totodile!)
2 notes · View notes