#im not good at any sort of fighting games im a click all the buttons at the same time kinda person | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonlightsolo · 4 years

Text

bête noire

summary: The First Order finds you and Rey on Tatooine. You manage to escape with her and make it back to the Resistance base, but you’re not entirely sure if you wanted to go back. Poe catches onto your tension which causes more problems.

pairing: kylo ren x reader & some poe x reader

warnings: cursing, angst, sad boi hours

wc: 4k

note: sorry for the chapter being a week late i was super busy and had no time to write but this is a really good chapter im happy with how it came out.

CHAPTER FORTY

The pulsating in your head knocks you off balance as you try to stand up from the ground. Sand is still flying everywhere.

It conceals you and Rey from the enemies in the sky. Rey grabs a fistful of your shirt and pulls you up from the ground. Sands falls off of your body to join the rest below you.

She holds onto your hand tight as she pulls you through the cloud of sand before it clears up. She crouches down to stay out of sight and get out of the open area.

She presses her back against a wall of a building to get herself together. Her hands push the sand off of her face, shaking her hair to get it out and you do the same.

Rey peeks around the corner “There are stormtroopers.” She whispers, “They probably know that we’re here from the Falcon being out there.” She sighs.

“I knew I should’ve put it somewhere else.” Her fingers go up to pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration.

Rey unhooks her lightsaber from her belt then you feel goosebumps and you shiver noticeably. Rey notices your body subtly shake and your face drops. Once she realizes what’s wrong, her face mimics yours. “He’s here isn’t he?” She whispers towards you.

His presence is strong in the Force, he can most likely sense that you and Rey are close by too.

“We need to go.” Your voice is shaking. You’re not afraid. Well, maybe a little bit. Not for your wellbeing, you know he wouldn’t hurt you. If you get captured, your children will be stuck with the Resistance.

Rey snaps her fingers in front of your face to get you out of your own head, “We need to come up with a plan. They’ll probably have troops guarding the Falcon. Should we fight our way there?”

Her voice is interrupted by the sound of the fighters flying above, then you hear a voice. It’s a stormtrooper. “Find any survivors and kill them. We’re looking for the two girls Ren wants.“ It must be a commander of some sort. “Move out.”

Your eyes go wide again when you hear the marching of the squad of stormtroopers moving closer. You grab Rey’s hand and begin running the opposite way, sliding quietly into a deserted street store.

You crouch behind a wooden food stand and Rey hides behind a wall parallel to you. You peek out from behind it to see the white armored legs of the troops walking by. There’s about ten of them. You both could possibly take them all out of you had better cover.

“Search the area. Don’t leave anything untouched.” One of them orders. They start to branch off in pairs. It’s like a game of hide and seek.

A pair begins to walk into the store you’re hiding in, you shuffle backward quietly to conceal yourself more underneath the rickety wooden stand. It creaks as your body slides underneath it. You silently curse yourself when their steps stop in front of the cart.

Rey’s lightsaber ignites behind them as she runs forward and pierces both of the troops through their torsos. They groan and go limp. The blue light disappears back into the hilt and their bodies fall to the floor in a heap. Your eyes are wide as you look up at Rey and she’s staring back at you with the same look.

Kylo’s close and she can feel it too. Your hands start to shake. Rey takes your hands into her own to calm you, “Let’s go.” She pulls you up from the ground. “Get your saber ready.” She whispers as she peeks out the entrance, looking both ways. “There are some troopers down at the end of the walkway.” She mumbles to you.

You barely heard her but you still follow her out. She jogs the opposite way, hopping into a small shack on the side when she sees troops coming around the corner.

“I think if we can go that way. We can get to the ship.” She points towards the archway that leads to the sandy dunes where the Falcon is. “Yeah. What if they’re surrounding it?” You ask.

A small pain gently thumps in the back of your head, you hiss as you grip your neck. Rey’s eyes look down at you, “Don’t let him in. He’s trying to reach out to you.” She grips your shoulders, “Stay strong.” She grabs your hand to pull you out of the building with her. She makes a run for the exit, sand kicks up behind her feet as you follow.

Dizziness starts to blur your vision and nausea rises in your throat as you stumble. “Rey....” You slur out as you trip over your own feet and face plant into the sand, unable to catch yourself. Rey screams your name and you use all your energy to pick your head up.

By what you can make out, she is running towards you until she lets out a yelp. You blink slowly to try and get your vision to clear but it’s getting worse. White blobs move into your vision and grab ahold of her. They surround you too.

“Let go of me!” Rey screams, her voice cracks as she thrashes. “Don’t hurt her!” She cries out as rough hands grab your wrists and pin them to your back.

A large black figure walks into your vision, it’s him. You let out a soft sob, not knowing if you’re sad or happy.

“You cannot corrupt her no longer, Kylo Ren. She’s stronger than you know.” Rey spits out at him.

“We’ll see.” He almost chuckles at her words, “Take her away.” He orders then turns around to look at you. You can faintly hear Rey screaming your name as she’s being pulled away. He bends down to your level to look into your eyes. “Let go of her. I’ll take it from here.” He stands up swiftly then replaces their hands with his warm ones.

When his skin touches yours, it feels like your senses come back to you. Your vision clears and you gasp in sharply. He slowly pulls you up to your feet, keeping your hands pinned behind your back. “I see that you’ve gotten your own saber.” He whispers in your ear. His deep voice sends shivers down your spine. He continues to push you forward from behind, “Our power together is indescribable and our children... We need to get them back.”

There’s no way you could go back to the Resistance now.

You gasp and sit up quickly, your eyes dart around as you take in your surroundings. You’re on the Falcon laying on one of the cots. “Rey?!” You scream out, your lips are dry from the sand and heat dehydrating you.

Her voice appears on the intercom, “Stars, I’m glad to see you’re awake.” Her thick accent soothes you. “I thought I lost you. We’re on our way back to the Resistance.”

You stand up from the bed, your vision darkens in the corners but you still power through it to make it to the cockpit. You walk in on her clicking some buttons before standing up, you’re in hyperspace. “What happened?” You breathe out.

Your dream felt so real. You really thought you have reunited with Kylo again.

“You were unconscious from the blast. I carried you all the way to the Falcon. It wasn’t easy.” She stands up then pulls you into a hug. “Come sit, come sit.” She leads you over the co-pilots seat.

You’re baffled. “I had the most realistic dream ever. We got captured by the First Order, Rey. I saw him. I saw Kylo.” You look at her with doe-like eyes.

“I’m sorry. I know you miss him.” Her hand rests on your shoulder and squeezes it gently. “Hopefully one day he’ll come around.” She plops down in her pilot's chair. It’s silent for a few moments before you talk again.

“I do... I miss him a lot, Rey. There are some days I want to see him so badly but sometimes, I just want to run away from it all.” You sigh, “I’m going to be connected to him for my lifetime. I had his children. I honestly thought he was changing for a moment.” You grumble.

Rey looks over at you a bit sadly, “You don’t have to be connected to him forever, you know. You can use the Force to block him out. Almost like putting a wall up.” She suggests with a shrug.

You don’t want to do that. You love him.

“Maybe.” You say under your breath, rolling your eyes without her seeing you.

“He was on Tatooine. I felt him but I got you out of there quick before anything else could happen.” She says proudly.

The mention of being so close to him and not being able to see him makes something inside of you uneasy.

You have to agree to see him even though your conscience is still thinking about what could happen if he did come to you.

“You okay?” Rey notices you spacing out and staring at the swirling colors of hyperspace. Her hand gently grabs yours which brings you back to reality.

Your eyes dart over to hers and you put on a fake smile, “Yeah I’m fine.” You laugh and shake your head. “Get some rest. We’ll be home soon.” Rey smoothes your hair back with her hand and you grow sleepy. Your head falls forward and bounces back up to rest against the seat to fall asleep.

The feeling of Rey’s hand grips your wrist and you wake up instantly. You take a deep breath as you open your eyes, the darkness outside startles you but you notice the trees. You’re back on the moon with the Resistance.

The ramp has already been opened and people are already unloading the supplies you brought. “We’re back.” Her voice is gentle as she unbuckles you and grabs your hands to help you stand.

You stumble for a second but another pair of hands catch you, “Poe...” You smile wide as you turn to see his face. His hands rise from your waist to cup your cheeks, bringing your lips to his.

Every time he kissed you, it felt perfect but for some reason, it feels different right now. You pull away after a few seconds to look at him, “Rey filled me in on what happened on the way here.” His thumb brushes against your sandy skin.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” One of his arms snake around your waist to help you off the ship. Chewy greets you immediately with a big roar, his furry arms steal you away from Poe’s side. The Wookiee picks you up and twirls you around happily. You giggle as he says something about you smelling weird.

“Tatooine is a sweaty planet. What can I do about it?” You look up at him once he sets you down. Chewy pats your head then lets Poe take his place to bring you to the showers.

Poe readies up the shower for you, hanging up your shower caddy that has all the soap in it. You disappear behind the curtain, closing it tight so you could shower in private. Poe sits outside on a chair, making small talk with you as you wash your body.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re quiet.” He stands up to move closer to the curtain, you see his boots standing outside. You let out a sigh, wishing you could spill everything to him about wanting to see Kylo again but of course you can’t tell him that.

Maybe you should invite Poe into the shower. No, you really shouldn’t. You haven’t been intimate with him yet and doing that with him now just to leave him later. Not a good look on your reputation.

“Yeah, I just hit my head really hard and it’s hurting. I just need to sleep.” You turn the water off once you’re done washing every crevice of your body. Your hand reaches out to grab the towel off the hook, bringing it into the shower to wrap it around your body.

His hand opens the curtain, a look of concern grows on your face. “What?” You ask as he stares at you. “There’s something else wrong.”

You groan and push past him as you ring out your hair, you grab the pile of your dirty clothes and start to walk out to go to your room. He follows close behind, “See? This is what I’m talking about. You don’t open up to me. How can we be in a relationship if you can’t talk to me?” He raises his voice at you which makes you turn on your heel to face him.

“Well, maybe I don’t want to be in a relationship.” You snap. The look of pain crosses his face which makes you instantly regret those words. You turn back around so you don’t have to face him, “You don’t mean that... Do you?” His voice cracks.

You don’t look at him, “I’m sorry.” You breathe out, “My life is a mess right now. I don’t know how I could possibly try to be in a relationship when I’m bonded to your enemy.” You sniffle then you turn your head to look behind you. He’s crying too. “You’ll always have a special place in my heart, Poe. I just can’t do this right now.” You start walking forward, hot tears rolling down your cheeks. You turn down the hall your room is on.

When you’re out of sight, you press your back against the wall and silently cry into the back of your hand. A door opens up to your right and a random person peeks out, you’re still in your towel and water is dripping from your hair onto the floor.

He takes your appearance in, “You okay?” He asks which makes you wipe your tears away and nod. Obviously, you’re not.

“Yeah. Thanks.” Your voice croaks as you walk past them to get to your door and open it.

You lock it behind you then you look over your room, the bassinets are gone since they’re staying with Leia tonight so you can rest. It seems too empty. It’s lonely. You snatch the wrinkled pajamas out of your clothes bin to get dressed. You also grab your hairbrush to get the knots out of your hair before you lay down.

It’s been a rough day.

Water drips onto the roof of the ship, making a small rhythmic pattern that soothes you. Right as your body starts to fall asleep, everything around you goes silent.

Kylo’s here.

Your eyes shoot open and dart around in the darkness, your hand reaches out until you feel his leather glove touch your hand.

You let out a sigh of relief as you intertwine your fingers with his to pull him closer, “I know why you’re here. I’ve made up my mind, I want to see you.” You can feel his presence in front of you which makes you lean forward to rest your head against his armor.

His large hand pets your head and plays with your hair. Happiness his radiating from him but he isn’t showing it on the outside. “Tell me where you are. I’ll come to you.” His voice is soft but still raspy.

“Only on one condition...” Your arms snake around his hips to hold him in place, “You cannot bring anybody else with you. We can’t meet the base so I’ll find a meeting spot in the jungle where you can park your ship.” You mumble into his clothing.

“Jungle?” He questions as his hand lifts your face up by your chin, you can barely see the outline of his body. “Where are you, my love?”

The nickname sends chills across your skin, “Ajan Kloss. The moon.” You breathe out. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that but you’re desperate. It’s been too long since you have last seen him in person.

“Give me coordinates to your ‘meeting spot’ and I’ll come to you.” He leans down to capture your lips in his before he disappears. His solid form leaving you abruptly almost makes you topple over. “Fuck.” You curse at yourself.

You rest your elbows against your knees so you could put your face in your hands. Maybe you did the wrong thing but honestly, there’s a part of you that doesn’t care if he brings back up with him.

You love him so much. You don’t know how you’re going to react when you see him in person. It’s going to be overwhelming.

You lay back down under your blankets, tucking yourself into them so you could attempt to fall asleep again.

In the morning, you wake up bright and early. You pull your bed head into a top knot and get some clothes on that’ll keep you cool during the day. Not being able to see Poe today is going to be hard but you’ve made up your mind. You grab your saber and clip it to your belt.

When you step off the ship, it seems like everyone else is going to wake up much later than you. You realize it’s barely even bright outside yet. “I guess this gives me a chance to go find a spot.” You whisper to yourself.

Your eyes scan the cave, seeing a light on in the command center which makes you creep forward silently. It’s Poe, he’s working on something. You admire him from the shadows before you’re interrupted by Kaydel walking in to see him. She kisses him and clings onto his back like a baby monkey.

You feel a pang of jealousy in your chest even though you don’t deserve to feel that.

You make your presence evident as you walk up to the food area next to the command center to grab yourself a portion. You rip open the package with your teeth and take the pre-made muffin out to eat it.

You turn around to see them both staring at you, then Poe quickly averts his gaze but Kaydel gives you a dirty look before she kisses the back of his neck purposely.

You scoff and walk away towards the exit of the cave. You grab a map out of your back pocket, looking over the trees. You hold the muffin in your mouth as your finger drags across the paper. You spot an opening in the trees. It’s far but you can make it. You fold it back up and put it back into your pocket before you disappear into the foliage.

It’s muggy and buggy and hot. The wind is cool which helps with the sweat building up on your forehead. You’ll have to meet him at night when it’s cooler. You refuse to be this sweaty when you see him.

You see the sunlight passing through the trees and hitting the large empty patch of grass. It’s perfect.

Kylo’s ship would fit perfectly and he’s a good pilot. You notice that there are torches on the trees, obviously not lit because they’re old. Must’ve been from the old inhabitants of this moon. You open your map again to mark the coordinates down before you head back to the base.

When you get back, mostly everybody is up and working now. Some people glance at you as you emerge from the trees, you see Poe working on his X-wing with BB-8.

You need to talk to him about everything.

Your boots move quickly against the pavement as you make your way to him. You stop behind him, he knows it’s you.

“Poe. We need to talk.” Your voice is stern, he lets out a small laugh and doesn’t turn around to talk to you. “Seems like you got everything you needed to get out last night.” He grumbles.

You cross your arms over your chest, “I’m being serious, Dameron. We need to talk.”

He whips his head around and stands up tall which forces you to look up at him. “Listen, you broke my fucking heart. I know why too. It’s about him. It’s always going to be about him, always.” His voice raises slightly.

“It is going to be him. I have a bond with him like nobody else. He saved me when the Resistance left me. He showed me mercy when he wasn’t supposed to. I had his children, Poe.” You’re starting to get upset.

“But can’t you just co-parent from different planets? You don’t have to be his little ‘apprentice’ anymore. I want you to be mine, only mine. I fucking care for you. I’m always there for you. Where is he?” His voice cracks during the last words. Tears rush to your eyes, your bottom lip trembles.

His hands grip your hips as he pulls you close to smash your lips together. At first, you don’t want to do this but you can’t help yourself. Your fingers tangle themselves in his thick hair as his tongue gently slips past your bottom lip.

“Get a room.” Finn laughs as he walks by, some other crew members chuckle too and BB-8 makes a whistling sound.

You both quickly pull away from each other when you realize that there are other people around. Your face instantly flushes pink, you take a step back to widen the distance between you and him.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” Poe looks down at his feet, “It’s okay. Don’t be sorry.” You sheepishly mumble back. Poe hesitatingly reaches out to grab your hand, “I know you’re going through a lot. It’s difficult. I could only imagine how you torn you feel. If you don’t want a relationship right now, I get it. We can just be... friends.” He gives you a one-sided smile. You know that it hurt him to say that. “Maybe a little bit more.” He adds on with a chuckle, “Only if you want to, of course.”

He pulls you into a bear hug, his arms wrap around you and his chin rests on top of yours. You snuggle into his chest, taking in his scent, he goes to say something to you but it falls silent to your ears.

Oh no. It’s Kylo.

You quickly pull away from Poe, your head frantically turns and looks around for him. “The pilot... again?” His voice echoes in your head, “I know you’re lonely. I don’t blame you.” His voice is cold.

“I have to go.” You say to Poe and begin walking towards his voice.

“You haven’t gotten intimate with him, have you?” He probes your mind, “Ah, you haven’t.” He almost days proudly, you know he’s smirking.

“Where are you?” You whisper-yell out as you begin to search the base. “I’m not projecting myself through the Force. I’m just in your head.” His words halt your movement. Poe must’ve been following you because you can feel his hands go onto your shoulders.

“Give me the coordinates. I know you have them. I’ll come to you. Just me.” His voice is so persuasive. You squeeze your eyes shut and send the coordinates with your voice through the Force.

“Good girl.” Kylo grins, “I promise you. It’s only going to be me. I won’t break any of my promises to you. Ever.” He cuts the connection off.

You take a deep breath to center yourself back into reality. Poe’s strong hands are gently rubbing your shoulders in comfort, “Hey. Are you okay?” He says into your ear.

“No, I mean yes.” You shake your head and gulp. You turn around quickly and smash your lips against Poe’s, both of your hands are on his cheeks.

“Thank you for being you.” You whisper against his lips before pulling away again. You look into his puppy dog brown eyes before you run the opposite way towards the cave.

You dart between people, twirling out of the way so you wouldn’t hit them. You spot Leia with the twins, “Hey. I’m gonna take them okay? I miss them. Thanks!” You scoop them up from their little play-mat to position them on your hips.

Before Leia could say anything, you’re running the opposite way back to your room. You left too late to see what Leia says and she seems worried for you, “Somebody go keep an eye on her. Tell me wherever she goes.”

Well, that’s going to mess up your plans.

tags: @officiallpeterparker @funnysadshit @ymariejp @attorneyl @fangirl570 @trinityrud20 @kylos-sassy-cousin @delicatelyherdreams @fizzywoohoo @savvy7392 @angelias134 @that-girl-named-alex @cas-backwards-tie @glimmering-darling-dolly @glitterypinkkitty @blxkstar @his-snow-white-queen @elsasshole @smiithys @nanocoool @deathbyarabbit @alex-skr @theholycakehole @averillian @crazynocturnalkiki @arcanebabe @tinydancer40 @superduckypower @thomasscresswell @butterfly-writes @thatintrovertedbisexual @fangirlanotherjust @somekindofroger @nicci442 @little-girl-who-dream-too-much @wildest-dream- @silverlambcaptain @cliffordmess @xkylorxn @nickangel13 @carol-twinklefists-danvers @oopsiedoopsie23 @fandomshit6000 @baba-eina @cosmichellfire @ravngers @lowkeyofsassguard

104 notes · View notes

flokive · 4 years

Text

lie to me II - Youngblood

description: part two of my internet bff au featuring ashton irwin // the fight between james and elisabeth left liz feeling lonely and numb. it doesn’t really help that her best friend, fletcher, really wants to know what happened and wants to help, even though he lives in australia and liz lives in europe... writers note: yay! in honor of soft!ashton thursdays here’s the second chapter of lie to me :) don’t really have a lot to say, just a quick thank you to my loves @ashtonsos and @easierlftv for proof reading this <3 // enjoy! hope y’all like it, and, please, don’t worry... fletcher will be more prominent in the story soon... wordcount: 1358

“Remember the words you told me, love me 'til the day I die Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you calling me by name Takes one to know one You beat me at my own damn game”

---

fletchersthoughts

liz? hello? well, you sure know how to get a man eager with anticipation…

...

umm, earth to liz? where are you?

…

ok, i’m starting to get worried. liz???

…

liz, please just message me back. i have got to get some sleep, it’s almost 3am here… love you!!! bye

Liz has been sitting on the floor, numb and empty until her thoughts are interrupted by the smell of burning sauce. As quick as she possibly can, she jumps to her feet and turns off the stove, watching the steam escaping the now blackened pasta sauce. Too tired from the fight to clean up the kitchen mess, she leaves the saucepan on the stove, cracks the window to let the bad smell escape the kitchen, and plumps down on the couch, feeling numb and unable to do anything else.

Liz jolts awake, the sudden movement making her wince. A quick glance at the clock informs her it’s 3 am, the outside world is dark and cold, apart from the spots on the street that are lit up by the street lights. The house is quiet, Liz calls for James, her voice echoes in their empty apartment, and no one responds. He’s still gone and she’s all alone again. A lonely yet guilty feeling washes over Liz as she closes her eyes and rubs her neck, trying to ease the pain caused by the weird sleeping position on the couch. As she slowly rises to her feet, a sad sob leaves her throat when she looks at the kitchen mess. Quickly she turns off the kitchen lights, trying to ignore the mess and the guilt that comes with it. If she just did something else this night, if she just ignored Fletcher this one time, none of this would’ve happened. In the dark, the apartment feels even colder than it did before, maybe even more terrifying than before. Liz rests her head against the doorframe that separates the kitchen with the hallway to their, maybe now only her, bedroom. When she slowly opens the door to the master, her eyes meet the mess James created. Clothes are flung everywhere, a picture frame lies on the ground, the glass shattered and James’ bedside table is cleared. With tears burning in her eyes she tries to pick up the pieces of the picture frame, carefully to let the sharp glass cut her hands, a sad sigh leaves her mouth when she puts the glass shards on her bedside table. She slowly seats herself down on the bed, holding her head between her hands. Salty tears stream down her face when she thinks about everything that’s been said and done. The thoughts if she could’ve done anything different re-enter her mind as she lays down, dragging her blanket over her head, trying to just forget the world for a moment.

The first thing Liz does when she wakes up is checking her phone, wondering if James has sent any messages since their fight last night. Her inbox is empty, apart from Fletcher’s seven un-read messages she chose to ignore last night. She clicks on the bolded notification and reads them slowly, after staring at the words for a while she decides to not reply yet, not wanting to talk about the events of last night. Since it’s Saturday and Liz doesn’t have anywhere to go she ends up scrolling through her Tumblr dashboard. Reblogging every sad quote she reads. A small smile appears on Liz's face, remembering how her 17-year-old self would’ve been doing the exact same thing, laying in bed, scrolling endlessly through the same site, using it as some sort of coping mechanism. Her phone chimes and on top of her screen a new message from Fletcher appears. Liz closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and decides to finally reply.

fletchersthoughts liz?? i see you reblogging, i know you read my messages so i KNOW you’re awake. please just give me some sort of sign of life, please?

queenliz hey fletch im sorry busy night, james didn’t feel good returning from work we fell asleep early

The lies are bad and Liz feels guilty for lying to her closest friend but she just can’t handle talking and thinking about the events of last night. Her phone chimes again, knowing it’s Fletcher, she decides to ignore him once again. Hoping he would get the hint and leave her alone today. A rumbling sound from her tummy interrupts her thoughts, reminding her she hasn't eaten a thing since last night. Liz changes yesterday's clothes for some comfy leggings and a black crewneck sweater. Before leaving to get some breakfast, she washes the mascara stained tears away, grabs her wallet, and leaves the damned apartment.

Liz makes her way to the local coffee shop, orders a big iced coffee, a freshly baked croissant and strolls back home. Whilst munching down on her breakfast she looks at the city waking up. The events from last night fresh in her brain Liz decides to take the long way home, through the park, trying to clear her brain and understand everything that happened last night.

Halfway home, Liz plumps down on a wooden bench and starts to pick apart the last bit of her croissant, throwing some it at some doves in front of her. The peaceful sounds of the park finally give her time to process the events of last night. Every word, every action that happens plays in slow-motion in her head, it’s like she’s watching a really bad movie but she can’t find the remote to switch the channels. A feeling of guilt and sadness gnaws in her brain when she thinks how badly she treated her best friend. How bad her lies were, how she bluntly ignored the man who has always been there for her. Slowly she takes her phone out of her pocket and opens the last unread message Fletcher send her, saying he doesn’t quite believe her, and she starts writing an apology.

queenliz so... you’re right, i kind of lied to you this morning… we didn’t really fell asleep early last night we had a fight, a horrible one, i might add i think god fletch, i think we broke up..

Liz looks up from her screen, tears forming in her eyes, making her vision blur. She quickly wipes away the tears before they spill over her cheeks. With shaking hands, she continues explaining what happened the night before. As per usual, Fletcher doesn't take longer than a minute to reply.

fletchersthoughts he did WHAT?! he threw a fucking glass at your head? what the fuck was this guy thinking?? liz... fuck…

queenliz i’m okay fletch, really don’t worry about me, i didn’t get hurt so it’s fine

fletchersthoughts you didn’t get hurt so it’s all fine?! that’s fucking bullshit liz and you know it HOW am i supposed to not worry about you liz? fuck.

Liz huffs annoyed, re-reading the message Fletcher just send her. Her fingers fly over the keyboard when she writes her response.

queenliz please fletcher, don’t be so fucking dramatic i fucking said i was fine, so i am doing fine leave me be and please stop worrying about me, it’s getting on my fucking nerves idk if you know this, but i can take care of myself.

Liz’s fingers hover above the keyboard, debating whether or not telling Fletcher to leave her alone, to stick his nose into someone else’s business. Her bottom lip rolls back and forth between her teeth, a metallic flavor reminding her she should probably stop nibbling on her lips and make a decision. Her thumb lays on top of the lock button and her other thumb hovering back and forth over the backspace and send button. Her phone buzzes in her hands, letting her know that Fletcher is sorry for being so protective and that he understands Liz might not be ready to talk about things today. A soft smile appears on her lips for the first time in, what feels like ages. Quickly she deletes the message and sends him a brief thank you, before locking her phone and standing up to head home again.

taglist: @cthofficial - @calmlftv - @kingcals - @spicycal - @another-lonely-heart

send me a message if you wanna be added to my taglist!

#ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin fanfiction #ashton irwin #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer fic #lie to me afi #5sos au #5 seconds of summer au #5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin au #god im sorry if this was bad #ashton will appear soon i PROMISE #i just need to set the mood and get the story straight #HE WILL BE HERE SOON I PROMISE

19 notes · View notes

tumblunni · 5 years

Text

I had a very odd dream! I was playing a lets play of ff7 but the game was very different.

I remember there was something about having builder units on the world map like it was an RTS or something? And there were multiple continents but all the story events could happen on any of them. It was like FFTA where you choose where to place important locations, so nibelheim could be near the start or end of the game and would have all the levels of all the plot stuff adjusted to fit.

I remember i was placing some sort of skull-shapes mountain area that was supposed to be an endgame bonus dungeon but i unlocked it early and was gonna try and cheat thru it with lower levels. Apparantly i ran a speedrun channel in the dreamverse?

Now yknow how ff7 save points are those rotating sparkly question marks? Here there was a new type of those that was shaped like a translucent glowing sword. And apparantly they were super rare and had a random chance of spawning every time u went to a dungeon? They let you add a fourth party member from a list of every monster you'd fought so far. And apparantly raised your "bravery stat" but the dream didnt really explain that.

So my dream speedrun strategy involved entering the first battle in the cave, defeating one enemy (a centipede that rolled up into a hula hoop for some reason) and then running from that battle. Cos the first battle in the cave had a story event associated with it, it would have the characters sayin somethin like "wow these monsters are extra strong!" "Yeah watch out this is the legendary dungeon" or something. So players knew it was meant to be postgame content and to quit if theyre underlevelled. But if you ran away without completing the fight then the event wasnt marked as completed and itd continue to repeat itself in the next fight, which was VITALLY IMPORTANT. So part 1 of the speedrun was resetting until you got the luck of your first fight being multiple enemies so you could defeat one centipede but still run away. Now you had to reset until you got the lucky save point that let you equip that centipede as a party member! And then in your next battle (which would play the same event), youd hope the uncontrollable AI for the enemy party member used a certain attack on the first turn. A move that would usually be kind of a bad thing- "full hp restore to both enemies and allies". But a quirk of the programming meant that if enemy hp was reset to its starting value AND you had that event in the same battle, itd think "oh its the start of the battle time to play that event" and also "no i cant do that ive already done it once ERROR DOES NOT COMPUTE!" So somehow the clash of game logic would result in the battle automatically ending and dumping you back out on the map screen, albiet with no exp earned. But now you have an instant win button for every fight so why would you need exp! A button that only works in this particular dungeon and requires a shitload of resetting to pull off in the fastest way, but still good!

And apparantly the previous speedrun record was someone who exploited this bug by resetting until an enemy centipedr used the move in the first battle, and then reset until every following battle also contained a centepede who also used the move on the first turn. Apparantly it was a marathon stream where they stayed up for 48 hours, like only a speedrun on the game click but waaaaay longer IRL! But the problem with this is that you didnt have a centepede in the final boss battle so you'd always have to fight that legitimately and itd be super challenging while underlevelled. So there were people who thought my speedrun was better cos the party member centepede had easier chances to do the move and it took less IRL time, plus you could skip the final boss just as easily as any other. But other people who'd watched the marathon stream thought i was a loser in comparison cos i wasnt doing it the hard way that required si much skill and dedication. And ive kinda gotta agree that dream-me seemed like a jerk, just goibg for the "ha ha im better"! If it was really me i'd start the whole thing by giving a shoutout to the original speedrunner who originally discovered the glitch, and be like "please watch their stream if you wanna see a more climactic and awesome battle that impresses me every time! This version is shorter only because it skips a lot of the challenge."

Anyway the hula hoop centipede was cute.

4 notes · View notes

baconpal · 6 years

Note

What didn't you like 'bout mario

oh boy time for me to type a lot of words about video games!! click here for large rants

so every since they revealed the game, mario looked kinda wrong with how he moved, like the game was being played sped up, and having played it, can confirm mario is INSANELY snappy and heavy, and it doesn’t feel good to me, sunshine and galaxy had good weight and believably in how mario moved, but odyssey is just 0 to 100. Its something you can eventually get used to but it caused more problems than it should have.

The actual button layout stuff is also a bit weird, specifically dive and quick-swim being performed by attacking during a ground pound, as opposed to having their own buttons like sunshine and galaxy. It makes them feel stilted and adds the ability to fuck up executing a simple movement option and getting yourself killed. The reason this bugs me is that X and Y do the same thing as well as B and A doing the same thing, so why not just make one of the double buttons do the other moves?

The hat, the one thing i actually was genuinely hyped for, does everything they promised, it is in fact FUN to throw the hat and bounce on it and do stuff like that and to use the joycons to throw the hat in different directions, even though you cant really get much use out of throwing it up and down.

But the CAPTURE mechanic is awful, about 4 of the captures are good and cool and nice, and the other 46 are actually pointless, they are all limited in what they can do, and it just makes me wish i was playing as Mario with all the moves and abilities he has naturally. I dont want to stop having 100 ways to jump so i can become a frog who jumps higher and moves at 1 mile an hour. I dont want to stand under things and stretch my big onion legs for the 20th time in a row. I’d rather the few good captures just be level mechanics, such as mario physically riding a bullet bill, or getting a powerup that allows him to fling himself off walls like the bird does, or letting mario grab those cool flingy things in new donk with his own hands

SPEAKING of, no power ups, which is horribly disappointing after how PERFECTLY implemented they were in 3D Land. There’s no mushrooms of any kind in the game, and no enemy koopas outside of hammer bros and dry bones, just a lot of staple things missing, which isn’t to say a mario game needs them to be good, but theres a lot of things that felt like it’d have been better if they WERE there. Like why are there hearts and “1 up hearts” instead of shrooms and 1-ups to increase health. Why does the bowser kingdom not have koopa citizens if he’s KING KOOPA?

The game looks very bad in most kingdoms, there’s no consistency in art style, there’s a world that is a generic mario beach level, followed by a hyper contrast color world with untextured low poly models copy-pasted on angular cliffsides. No area in the game is visually pleasing outside of New Donk, Bowsers Kingdom, and I guess the Cap Kingdom could have been good if it wasn’t 2 feet long.

Broodals are a terrible decision, all of the bosses are really boring and unfun in this game but the broodals take the cake. Their designs are bad and you fight them so many times, especially in post game content. They could have just been the koopalings again and i wouldn’t have minded a bit.

The story is nothing, the story in EVERY single kingdom is unimportant because you can technically skip it by collecting optional moons and fighting none of the bosses, so there’s never any meaningful conflicts, and the ending is like??? Peach is just kinda vaguely upset at bowser, but also isn’t happy with mario, and then they all sort of make up and everyone goes home together? What did they MEAN by this

The music is INCREDIBLY lack luster, especially for mario standards, I cant remember any of the songs off the top of my head other than Wooded Kingdoms theme cus it sounds like a God Hand track.

The post-game is offensively lazy. The 64 kingdom was cute but Dark and Darker Sides of the moon are 100% asset recycling and nothing actually enjoyable.

i just don’t care about moons. There’s too many, they’ve lost any impact. I no longer want to collect them all. I grinded coins and cowered to get enough moons to get all the outfits so i could see everything the game had to offer, and IMMEDIATELY i just stopped having any desire to play the game. I will never want to 100% the game, and i find it hard to believe there’s anything even comparable to galaxies 100% rewards.

Lastly where the FUCK is luigi what the fuck. And I mean that genuinely, with how this game controls, i feel like luigi would actually be super tight, his slipperiness would translate to more believable traction, and his higher jumps would offset the ridiculous gravity. If they make a DLC that allows a luigi playthrough I’d likely have to rate this game higher.

So uh... that’s it, just sort of DUMPED thoughts on that one, but yeah, that’s pretty much everything I have to say. If you enjoyed the game, awesome! I hope everyone is able to enjoy stuff, im just really disappointed in my boy mario right now.

#Anonymous

20 notes · View notes

luucarii · 7 years

Text

Persona 5 Ramblings

this shit is long. like really long.

and I sound like a crazed fangirl so....

MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. IM TALKING ABOUT LIKE ALMOST EVERYTHING BUD!!!

also, i curse way too much in this... apologies in advance

also, happy father’s day even though this has nothing to do with it :)

THIS IS ALL BACKGROUND ON ME BEFORE I GOT THE GAME SKIP TO THE NEXT BOLD PART IF YOU WANT TO HEAR MY OPINION ON THE GAME ITSELF.

Okay, so I’ve mentioned vaguely how Persona 5 is my first encounter with the Persona series. I’d heard bits and pieces about the series but I never really understood the concept of Persona until maybe mid April of this year. I was on spring break from school and I don’t remember how exactly how I stumbled across it but i found this playthrough of Persona 5 on youtube and I was mildly interested. So I clicked on it, and into the emotional rollercoaster that is this game i went.

At the time, there was only about 11 episodes of the play through (each around an hour long) so I binged watched each episode ending up with me staying up past 2 am. I was just so invested. The opening drew me in the minute the camera showed off that smug little bastard Joker’s smirk over the casino (I’ll get into why I love this kid and the rest of the cast later). I was confused since I was going into Persona 5 with no knowledge of the whole concept of Personas at all. I was kinda just like “wow this looks badass. What is he doing? Oh my god, this game is so pretty.”

I ended up skipping around once I got tired of waiting for a new episode and watched this long ass livestream. I got to about Okumura’s Palace before there was nothing left for me to watch but the boss battles uploaded, which did spoil me a little bit and got me a bit confused but I was so interested that I honestly didn’t care. I was so surprised at Niijima’s Palace and her boss battle as a whole and was like “SHIT THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME!!!! OH MY GOD EVERYTHINGS BACK”

From there, I skipped straight to the traitor - aka Akechi’s battle - and can I just say, I was not surprised that he had a Persona but I was surprised that he betrayed the group considering all the story shit I skipped. Shido’s fight was fairly interesting to me but again, I skipped a bunch of story shit so I was really just rooting for the Phantom Thieves because this was THE ASSHOLE WHO GAVE MY POOR LITTLE AKIRA A CRIMINAL RECORD.

Skipped a bunch of shit again and onto the fight with Yaldobaoth. At this point I was drawing a lot of similarities to Xenoblade Chronicles, fighting a God for freedom and then THEY PULLED THE WHOLE BELIEF THINGY (which they did at the end of Okami as well) AT THE END WITH MISHIMA AND THE REST OF TOKYO BELIEVING IN THE THIEVES AND I WAS SOBBING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH AT 2 AM.

And after that, I made it a point that one day I’d play this game for myself. And it was maybe a few days after that I finally got the game.

Now at the time (and still now) I didn’t own a PS4 and was forced to use my brother’s when he was at work. Adding to the fact that school was beginning to start up again, I had at most maybe 6 hours to play a day if homework didn’t take up all my time. So what might’ve taken me a few weeks to beat took me almost 2 months to beat because of timing.

BUT OH WELL, I HAD THE GAME, I PLAYED THE GAME, I LOVED THE GAME AND NOW IM GOING TO SQUEAL LIKE A FANGIRL OVER EVERY ASPECT OF THIS GAME THAT I ADORED.

GAMEPLAY

Okay, so I’ve played my fair share of JRPGs and Persona 5 was a nice familiarity. All the dungeon crawling, the fighting, turn-base combat, ya’ll get it.

BUT UM THESE DUNGEONS (Palaces if you would) ARE FREAKING GORGEOUS, HELL THE GAME ITSELF IS GORGEOUS.

Each Palace and their respective Shadow ruler has their own design, personality and each are based on the seven deadly sins which (after finishing FullMetal Alchemist a few months earlier) I thought was clever and interesting.

Kamoshida’s castle was a nice balance of a first dungeon and “hey we’re not gonna hold your hand, this is fairly simply kill some Shadows, find the infiltration route and don’t get kicked out.” ALSO RYUJI AND ANN’S AWAKENINGS. JUST THAT. INCREDIBLE.

Madarame’s museum had a little bit more difficulty but was still fairly easy. The security bars kinda gave me a little anxiety considering I was still getting used to all the controls (I had just finished an Xbox One game before playing this so my buttons were mixed up) and the little painting guessing game was a bit dumb considering each Sayuri looked EXACTLY THE SAME TO ME (except the color swapped ones) ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING YUSUKE WAS THERE AND COULD HAVE EASILY TOLD US BUT NO HE WANTED TO TEST AKIRA’S ART SKILL. ARE YOU APART OF THE PHANTOM THIEVES OR NOT YUSUKE??????????

but i digress…

Kaneshiro’s bank was fun but GOD SEND THOSE FREAKING SECURITY CAMERAS AND THOSE SHADOW DOGS TO HELL OH MY GOD I HATED THOSE. See my thing is, I’m not exactly a stealthy person. Which is why I love hiding because you can sneak up on Shadows and ambush them easily. I hate raising security level and those damn dogs were so annoying and just ugh. Those dogs are honestly one of the few grips I have with the game. Also, MAKOTO IS THE ACTUAL QUEEN.

Futaba’s temple was by far the longest one for me in terms of gameplay hours (in game time took me about 2-3 days) but it was still fun nonetheless and I’m glad Futaba (who is one of my favorite female characters) got some closure on her story with her mother and was able to rise above that. I’m a sucker for tragic backstories when their well executed. (i still to this day do not know how to pronounce her Persona…)

Okumura’s spaceship was my favorite aesthetically because I’ve always been interested in space and the stars and the little puzzle at the end with the space pockets was a nice bit of challenging and flying through Metaverse space. ALSO HARU HAS FLUFFY FLUFF HAIR AND HAS MY SECOND FAVORITE PHANTOM THIEF OUTFIT

hmm, i wonder who has my favorite Phantom Thief outfit... Joker... It’s Joker... god damn those red gloves

Niijima’s casino, which OH MY GOD WERE BACK TO THE BEGINNING AND AKECHI’S WITH US AHH, and WHIMS OF FATE IS BEST PALACE THEME.

It was my favorite palace, no questions asked.

Shido’s ship was another long one but finally getting revenge on this dick was incredible. Also, AKECHI AND RYUJI PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS.

Mementos was a good idea as a whole but the way it was executed everything just sort of blended together for me and there were only a few requests that stood out to me. The music was bland (one of the blandest on the soundtrack, especially compared to the other Palace themes casually mentions Whims of Fates again) and during the late floors of Mementos, everything got so dark and it was really hard to see.

CHARACTERS

expect this to be me screaming a lot.

Akira Kurusu (Protagonist)

okay, um, i love this boy. like a lot. LIKE I WOULD DIE FOR HIM.

For a silent protagonist this guy sure has a lot of character. The rare times he speaks in cutscenes, specifically the ones where he’s Joker, he has this sort of cocky arrogance yet when he’s little Akira in his Shujin uniform he’s a quiet little curious boy. He’s incredible under pressure, like there’s only a few things that make him crack and his dialogue options are priceless.

I especially love Joker because I’m an honest to god mess when it comes to smug bastards and I have an unhealthy love for those crimson gloves of his.

But honestly he doesn’t deserve half the shit he gets in game. Besides the whole “game” set up by Yaldobaoth, he was sent away from his family and presumedly the friends he had back in his hometown all because of his probation, literally no one treats him with any sort of respect when he gets to Shibuya. Sojiro reminds him countless times the first what 3-4 months that he’ll be kicked out if he breaks his probation which (besides doing all that illegal shit as Phantom Thieves) he honestly just goes to school (a place where he gets even more shit from teachers and students), hangs out a little after and comes straight home. I know Akira’s been established to have a bad reputation because of his record but don’t these people have eyes??? Can’t they see that he’s obviously not a bad guy based on what he’s doing in school and not getting involved with the police??? Sojiro's exempt from this because he at least grows to like having Akira around and trusts him enough to go out at night, work in the store alone and lock up from him when he leaves.

AKIRA IS A GOOD BOY WHO DIDN’T DESERVE ALL THE SHIT GIVEN TO HIM

Also, Xander Mobus did a good ass job with his voice

Ryuji Sakamoto

see this post that basically sums up my feelings on this boy.

Also, Max Mittelman.

Ann Takamaki

CAN I JUST SAY ANN IS ONE OF THE BESTEST FRIENDS IVE EVER SEEN???????

Like she went through all that shit with Kamoshida, the harassment, possibly rape, all for freaking Shiho’s sake. Just… wow. That’s some freaking loyalty there. Shiho's the closest friend she has at Shujin (at least before the events of the game) and God knows how long she went along with Kamoshida’s bullshit all for Shiho. I mean I may sound a bit repetitive but holy shit that just amazes me. SHE. ENDURED. SEXUAL. HARASSMENT. ALL. FOR. HER. BEST. FRIEND. And the minute she watched Shiho’s suicide attempt that was it. Any last bit of restraint she had left broke and she went full on at Kamoshida all for revenge for her best friend. My god.

Onto her confidant ranks, Ann is just a charismatic bundle of joy who just wants to make people happy. Yeah she butted heads with that girl (forgot her name…) and did fall down a little in terms of confidence but Akira and Shiho helped her through it and brought her back on her path of what she wants to do… Just ugh, I love Ann so much.

Yusuke Kitagawa

Yusuke’s a fan favorite and for good reason.

His backstory about how Madarame took him in after his mom died and overlooked his painting which led to the later plagiarism is an interesting one and I love how the Sayuri, the only thing left to connect him to his mother, is an important factor that leads to his realization of “oh shit this guy’s a dick who watched my mom die without helping her and he used me for money and fame.”

As a character though, Yusuke’s freaking weird. But i love him because of it. He has his formal tongue but that formal tongue casually overlooks any weird shit that comes out of his mouth. He doesn’t give any flying fucks about what people think of him and he speaks his mind like there’s no tomorrow. I still crack up at the nude painting scene with him and Ann because his mix of awkwardness and passion to paint a nice ass picture is just incredible. Also, another thing. He’s. So. Damn. Passionate. Like he ties art into everything, even fighting Shadows and he’s always looking for new ideas for paintings.

Also, Matt Mercer

Makoto Niijima

MAKOTO IS QUEEN.

She’s not my favorite female, that role goes to Futaba but she’s definitely number 2.

I genuinely have a love for the Niijima sisters because they complement each other so well. Sae’s the head of the house who also works tirelessly just to support her younger sister and it’s clear to see why Makoto would feel useless. She’s a high school student and as a student you really can’t do much that’ll pay the bills and keep food on the table unless you have a job which Makoto’s student council president and (i’m assuming) is in everything so it’d probably be hard as is to get a job and be of some sort of use to her sister. Then Kaneshiro comes around threatening her and Thieves and her sister and she just doesn’t want to feel useless anymore. She wants to do something after being forced to sit back and watch other people be counted on. And just, ugh, her awakening is by far my favorite out of all of them just because of everything behind it and just MAKOTO IS AMAZING, CASE CLOSED.

Also, Cherami Leigh.

Futaba Sakura

By far my favorite female as I feel our personalities are pretty damn similar. Besides her being a hacker and me not knowing anything about possibly illegal things like that, I relate to Futaba as she’s an introvert. She and I value our alone time and (although for different reasons) like being shut in. Now I’m not going to say Futaba and I share the same backstory because my God I’m honestly baffled how this girl went through years in solitude after her mother’s death thinking it was her fault. For one, she WATCHED HER MOTHER DIE IN FRONT OF HER. HOLY SHIT HOW DID THIS GIRL MANAGE TO FUNCTION WITH THAT MENTAL IMAGE IMPRINTED IN HER BRAIN???? AND THEN FOR YEARS ON END SHE LOCKED HERSELF UP AWAY FROM THE WORLD AND BEGAN HAVING ACTUAL PHYSICAL AND VERBAL HALLUCINATIONS AND IF IT WASNT FOR THE PHANTOM THIEVES SHE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE ENDED UP KILLING HERSELF AND I DONT WANT TO THINK OF A WORLD WITHOUT THIS ADORABLE LITTLE OTAKU.

also, i really ship her and Yusuke Inari

Haru Okumura

For one, Haru is freaking adorable, I mean look at her. She has the short little fluffy fluff hair and her voice is so light and feathery and polite and WHY DOES SHE COME SO LATE IN THE DAMN GAME????

I was lucky enough to manage to finish her confidant before the end of the game but when her confidant first opened up to me (getting rank 5 Proficiency was a bitch) at that point I was planning on not doing her confidant at all, I was just planning on getting Baton Pass and ditching her because I didn’t think I’d finish it. I did (at the cost of not finishing Makoto’s, still extremely disappointed on that) and I have to say Haru’s confidant was by far my favorite one out of the ones I maxed out.

Her whole thing is now that her father’s dead, she’s basically the one inheriting everything from Okumura Foods and she never really understood anything to begin with and she thinks everyone who’s trying to help her is just doing it for their own self-gain. Okumura Foods, at this point, is attempting to rise back up after all the shit her father put the company through and all the current bad reputation it has. Haru’s never had a chance in her life to make things for herself. She’s always been told what to do and has been very obedient (even agreeing to marry a literal dickhead all for her father’s company) and suddenly she’s given all control and doesn’t know what to do with it. All these happy smiling faces offering their help just seem like people attempting to take advantage of her incompetence. Akira helps her through it like the amazing boy that he is and Haru ends up finally being able to speak her mind about the company and what SHE wants to do. She gives the company up to someone who she believes is trustworthy and decides that she’ll one day open a small little cafe like Leblanc in the future after college. And honestly, just her overcoming her distrust and her previous shell of being obedient to rising up and making her own decisions it makes me so happy and proud to see her grow and change and just UGGH I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS DAMN CAST.

Morgana

This cat, literally this cat. HE BELONGS WITH AKIRA AND THE REST OF THE THIEVES NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

Loud-mouthed, a little bit arrogant, Morgana is just an amazing character in general for me. I know Ryuji’s technically supposed to be the comic relief (and he does fulfill this role, don’t get me wrong) but I feel Morgana takes this spot too, especially the two bickering like an old married couple. I know some people hate on Morgana because of how he treats Ryuji and the amount of “go to bed” memes on Tumblr but all around Morgana is just a cat who was just looking for a place to call home. He was just looking for people to accept him.

And a part of me honestly hopes if there’s an add on for this game in the future, Morgana gets a human form because I’d love to see that.

Also, please tell me I’m not the only one who still mixes up Morgana’s gender. I still sometimes call him a her just out of habit because I can’t hear Cassandra Lee Morris as anything but a girl.

Also, Cassandra Lee Morris.

Goro Akechi

OKAY SO CONTROVERSY??? MAYBE??

I LIKE AKECHI

NO FUCK THAT

I LOVE AKECHI

LIKE HONEST TO GOD THIS BOY DESERVED BETTER.

Don’t misunderstand, I know he killed people. I know he caused all those shutdowns and was planning on killing the Thieves and eventually Shido himself (which now begs the question, say he did kill Shido, what next?)

I’m not denying anything he did. And yes, his backstory (although extremely saddening) does not justify his actions. He knew what he was doing and he still did it.

Akechi took the wrong path in his life. If anything you can sort of compare his story to Futaba’s in the sense that they both lost family members and were left with nothing. In Futaba’s case however, she still had people trying to help her. She had Sojiro who took her in after her uncle was abusing her or something and she had the Thieves who literally changed her heart and made her see the truth.

Akechi had absolutely nobody.

His mom died (suicide if I remember correctly), he was thrown into foster care, his own father (seriously, fuck Shido. Not just because of how he was with Akechi but everything in this damn game) didn’t even knew he existed. He had no acknowledgement, no affection, nothing. He was forced to make do with what little scraps he could find and make a life for himself.

Again, don’t misunderstand me. I know he killed people and his backstory does not justify his actions because he knew what he was doing was wrong. I’m just saying maybe if he had someone, anyone who was there to help him out, to pull him out of his misery he most likely would have been a different person. He wouldn’t have had his revenge for Shido be his only reason for living and he wouldn’t have gone out the way he did. It’s hard not to feel bad for him. He’s been alone all his damn life and all this guy really wanted was a friend, some teammates, people who wanted him around. I just wish Akechi had gotten a way to repent. I hate the fact that he died. One because we lost a good character and two because I genuinely believe that he wanted to change at the end. Akira changed him. The Thieves changed him. I wish he had gotten an ending where he could own up to his mistakes and be able to make up for lost time.

Just… ugh.

I’m apart of the “Akechi deserved better” group.

And I also ship Akeshu really really really hard.

Also, Robbie Daymond was freaking fantastic.

VERDICT

THIS IS LONG ENOUGH SO LET ME SUM IT UP IN A SENTENCE.

PERSONA 5 IS AMAZING, I LOVED IT.

#ari speaks?#long post #persona 5 #tw #p5 spoilers #I honestly could write about this game all day #sorry for the long post #i needed to get this out #just i absolutely loved this game

3 notes · View notes

comicteaparty · 6 years

Text

May 24th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on May 24th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Nwain by Terrana Cliff.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing Nwain by Terrana Cliff~! (http://nwain.com/) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

not my favorite but i do want to say of all the animated scenes i really liked the opening few pages best. i forget what page it was but there is a shot of nwain on a cliff and the animation pans up to show the town. i thought between the lighting, the motion, and everything else, it was immensely beautiful and breathtaking.

snuffysam

the opening shots were beautiful, for sure

i forget the page number, but there was a page where you could click on the different locations and get a little interaction. that was super cool

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i remember that! i have to say that was definitely the most creative page. cause man, cannot imagine the work that went into that one

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I have two takes on this, which can be seen somewhat independent from the animation style... a favourite scene and a best scene.

My favourite scene was probably the one where she first did the teleporting and actually phased between the panels. Super cool. Sticks in my head.

snuffysam

the teleporting panels are all great

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

What I'd say was the best scene was when Nwain was put in the stockade near the start and offered up the line "what are you in for"... I felt like it captured the comic excellently. She does something heroic, but due to circumstances, ends up in trouble for it, and yet there's humour to be found in the situation too.

And yes, the animation style with the panning blows my mind. I know the one with the clicking on locations that you meant - just, whoa. You could even click on them again and they'd retract. Mind blowing.

snuffysam

putting aside the artistic talent and effort put into the comic - the technical skill is extremely impressive. getting all these different pages working is a huge feat. like, there's not a single bug to be found

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I can see why it takes a month to put together a couple pages. Even that feels fast.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Greetings!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I think there was one panel once where the dialogue ran off the edges. I couldn't tell if that was intentional.

I shouldn't be nitpicky.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i really liked the stockade scene cause i think it demonstrates nwain's imperfections as a person. like shes not this perfect, stoic, and regal knight. shes just this person who has some fighting skills, makes some boo-boos in life.

hey super~!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Nwain often seem to be messing up, honestly. But it's done in such a way that it's easy to relate to, like, I might've done the same thing in her place.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tbf some of the messups arent really her fault. like a lot of stuff at the tournament makes sense cause shes not from the time period. how was she supposed to know some game rule was declared illegal O_O

my favorite scene is actually probably the one where she throws the favor and uses it to win the race. because it was the scene that i didnt know where it was going to go. i knew she was going to aim for the favor, but i didnt know for what purpose. was she going to go for it seriously? use it to take over the world? and then she used it as a distraction and laughs were had

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Well, yeah, true, it's rather situational/owing to circumstance. Still, she ends up needing to apologize.

Hm, I wasn't sure she was going for it until she did, and as soon as RoyalPerson (I suck at names) said it was the oldest trick, I was like, ahh clever.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

wait a second math how is your favorite scene not that one where they said a bunch of puns

snuffysam

OMG that scene!!!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Heh. I did like the cloud puns, but I don't call that a mist opportunity.

I think my favourite LINE would be "pun pals". Did not see that coming.

Also, Princess G, fave character.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i was surprised how many puns they could make for clouds XD

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Water you talking about?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Late, but hey Rebel!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

since you brought up fave character, i really like the magician.

snuffysam

i love mousebot. she's a friend.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

The magician's really interesting! Is he (for lack of a better pronoun) an artificial life form?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah thats what im understanding about the far listeners. that theyre robots. or at least one character called them robots. either way i think theyre the most interesting people so far. and of course mousebot is adorable

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

(It's weird, using "it" feels impersonal, because of society. Fascinating use of gender in the comic, incidentally. Lots of backstory there.)

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Also can I just say, I love that the comic has animated bits every now and then

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I like how the magician was going to bring in these life forms as champions and they have this big off button. "Why do they even have that?"

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 2. Nwain’s home, Sundial City, has been lost to the present world for almost 200 years. What do you think happened to the city that caused it to disappear in the present day? Was it something the city folk did, or was it some sort of natural disaster? Do you think Nwain will be able to reach Sundial City? If so, what do you think Nwain will find? Will there be people there, or will only ruins be left? Speaking of Sundial City, do you think the events hinted at in Nwain’s past have something to do with the city’s current state? If so, how do you believe they factor in?

snuffysam

well, they liked to experiment with time travel

i think the city just... left, somehow

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I feel like the City just kind of cut themselves off from the rest of civilization. (A bit like Tarn Vedra in the "Andromeda" universe, if anyone's seen that show.) Possibly accidentally (owing to the whole time silk problem) but yeah. Unless they're out of phase.

Meaning they're making some great phasers.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

when you say left, are you saying that maybe they time traveled the entire city and like, the city hasnt shown up yet cause it went a bit farther in the future than nwain? cause that was my pulled out of the hat theory.

snuffysam

yeah that's what i'm thinking. currently it's 200 years in the future. the city went to, like, 1000 years in the future

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Interesting. I hadn't considered that as a possibility.

snuffysam

or maybe the city went to one minute in the past, then ran into itself and exploded

whoops

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

There must be some residual effects left behind though, since that's what the Magician was able to read with his device.

I've done that with my time travel stories. Good times.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i feel like the time silk has to have something to do with the city's disappearance. since i mean, its not like nwain was purposely trying to travel with time. idk if it could time travel the whole city, though id believe it if it time traveled a lot of the people. if there were any left. cause i mean nwain left after that place pretty much burned down or something from the flashbacks. so maybe there was just so little left its inconsequential

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Seems like the "magic" they knew back then was pretty damn dangerous too though. Maybe in trying to rebuild the city after the fire they cut a few corners and whoops, we kinda sealed ourselves off like Sleeping Beauty or something.

snuffysam

the city going away for centuries is kind of sleeping beauty-esque, huh?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

There is that too, I suppose.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

does this mean nwain is the prince who has to roll on up and smack it awake?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, as for Nwain returning... I don't see that happening. Because I feel like that would end the story. She has no real desire to return, and we never saw her leave (except in flashback) so narratively speaking, it's in the past (literally). Bringing it forward feels like it would bookend the whole thing, somehow.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do want to call shenanigans on sundial city's magic being more dangerous though. that seems like one of those stigmas that comes about because nobody knows what happened to the city. so thus they blame a scapegoat and it just becomes a common accepted fact with no basis.

snuffysam

i think she'll try to figure out what happened, but i don't think she cares to return yeah

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i think shes gonna at least find the city in the present though. i think shell give up on time travel tho. unless she tries and whoops, winds up even further in the future

the subtitle of this comic is "the knight who wandered dream" and that makes me wonder if this is gonna be the comic that fully embraces the "it was all a dream cliche"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Except Nwain herself was pointing out that safety's a necessity with magic when doing the tutoring, and had a story of someone who befell bad things.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes but my point is i doubt its more dangerous

than current magic

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I don't see time travel being a major component. Unless it becomes a factor in those portals somehow too.

snuffysam

"dream" is something to do with the magic i think? like inside the worms was dreamstuff or whatever it was called?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Ehhh, fair, might just be different dangerous, but I still think that could have played a hand in things.

snuffysam

so perhaps she gets trapped in the dream world at some point?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I feel like it's too random to be a dream. Like, why would Nwain dream that board game rules became illegal?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i doubt its a dream. but i feel like the title has gotta be something

maybe

they tried to teleport the city

and it got stuck in the inbetween

snuffysam

i feel like the story has been foreshadowing someone or something getting stuck in the inbetween

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe she is the dream.

Everything is just a figment of Shade's imagination.

Oh, I like that theory, Rebel. Only lost people can find the City.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i mean its at least a specific detail to mention. thats theres an inbetween. and sundial city is the missing thing right now.

snuffysam

it's something that's been mentioned multiple times too

rule of writing. setup, reminder, payoff

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

regardless tho i think nwain is....not gonna find any people at the city.

and have to accept lonliness

snuffysam

yeah i think they're all dead

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

They were all turned into catgirls. Or catyith. Or catomith.

snuffysam

if they all teleported into the inbetween and didn't time travel, they've been cut off for centuries

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

But for them, maybe only a few months.

snuffysam

is that how the inbetween works?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

D'you think they were the ones keeping the Crimson Empire in check?

It seems to have flourished since that time.

I have no idea how anything works.

snuffysam

the crimson empire didn't exist at all back when sundial city was around

maybe they were preventing any one power from rising up? i dunno though

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

the crimson empire is sundial city. they just changed their name after that fire. were reborn like a phoenix and left their old life behind. but they dont want anyone to know so they erased their past and hid the city

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I was never great at politics.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

more seriously, if the inbetween is like a dream realm i could buy that time doesnt function like in the real world

snuffysam

they took the city and pushed it somewhere else

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

But did they build this city on rock and roll?

snuffysam

that would make sense, rebel. it's also possible that time passes faster in the inbetween, so it's been 10000 years for the citizens

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

We don't know the lifespan of people either.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. In order to earn star maps, Nwain’s current dilemma is participating in the Tournament at Lacefort. However, numerous ups and downs have occurred during the course of the story. Who do you believe will be the ultimate victor of the tournament, or do you think something will prevent the tournament from concluding? Will Nwain earn the favor of the Margravine, whether by accident or on purpose? If Nwain does earn the favor, what do you think may happen? Will things go as the Magician predicted or will the Margravine have a change of heart? Do you think the tournament will end with Nwain getting the star maps, or will something drastically alter that course of action?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Nwain having the favour is awkward. If she doesn't end up with it, all I can think is that she gave it back to Margravine in secret. Meaning... she has to marry herself? IDK.

snuffysam

now, that all depends on the difference between holding the napkin and actually having margravine's favor

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Owlgirl/Penny has a whole plot that needs to happen at some point though. So I feel star maps are inevitable.

snuffysam

like, margravine does seem to like nwain somewhat? though mostly as entertainment i think

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Oh, right, I suppose the favour could be rejected. Well, Nwain's more than a novelty now, she can teleport people and all.

snuffysam

probably not on a mass scale, though she can do some teaching

and watch as they all make the same mistake that sundial city probably did

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do feel the story has been building up the margravine's like for nwain a lot. so i could see the favour not being rejected somehow. and then ya know, the entire political system being uprooted and there being massive strife. and then the magician headdesking wondering what horrors they brought upon the world

snuffysam

yeah or worse, someone else gets the favor, and margravine rejects it because she prefers nwain

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

The favour of the month.

Maybe they can spin it as a way to stop the drought.

snuffysam

well i guess that would work? since nwain having favor with margravine means the magician gets closer to making that water deal

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

now thats a path i could see happening more. someone else gets the favor and the margravine is like "nah nwain is way cooler did you see how she teleported me."

ah!

i could not actually remember why the magician was there tbh XD cause we havent gotten to see much of the dealing for that water deal

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Also all the tears of joy shed over two ladies in love.

snuffysam

one lady and one laidth

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Truth, my bad.

I show my age at my difficulty coming to grips with the gender fluidity.

I love how it's just this matter of fact thing though.

snuffysam

that's just how her culture be. still not great because adult laidths don't have that great of a standing in sundial society

or, didn't, i suppose

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah whatever nwain's social standing, its a new day and a new life

as for who wins the tournament, i feel like nwain is too far behind in points. unless they give it to her cause she helped with the elemental giant situation thing

snuffysam

how many rounds are left?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Don't forget the person with the favour gets two additional points.

I believe this was the last round. Because they said they'd settle up the favour thing at the end of it.

Of course, I don't know how many points you get for coming in second and stuff, if any.

snuffysam

she won the race iirc, and i don't think anyone has more than three points. so that means she won

...assuming she counts as having the favor

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

idk. this is assuming all events are awarded equally. not to mention how do they deal with teams? like...a team event seems like a poor last event. XD cause youd have to know you were already going to lose by that point and that makes for poor team members

snuffysam

the rules really weren't explained. but that's fair because we're seeing this from nwain's point of view. and she was just pushed into the ring and told to do her best.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Which reminds me. She has a ring. So she was married once. That could throw a wrench into everything. (Did she even hear the Magician say 'marriage' that one time? Seemed like no.)

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

That can only go so well IMO

snuffysam

nwain was?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. nwain was married but i think her family died in the first?

fire

i can spell

snuffysam

well then, good news

marriage is done

so that problem's solved

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe not tho

at the very least

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

They're stuck "in between".

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

when shes asked "hey were you married?" she says "i was."

so she considers it past tense at least

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That has a familiar ring to it.

snuffysam

most marriages aren't designed to last past the 200 year mark

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I wonder if she was married to another yith.

snuffysam

it's possible

given the social standing thing especially

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 4. At current, Nwain is focused on helping two individuals: Owlgirl and Princess Joza. In regards to the former, do you think Nwain’s idea of taking Owlgirl to see the harpies will work out? If not, what exactly will go wrong? Assuming it goes wrong, what do you think the two will do then? Will Owlgirl stay in her current form, or will Nwain find a way to fix her? In regards to Princess Joza, do you think Joza will be able to learn the magic Nwain is teaching? Given how dangerous the magic is, though, do you think Joza learning it is a good idea? Lastly, do you think there will be political fallout for Nwain teaching Joza, or will everything be fine?

snuffysam

Joza is 100% going to mess something up

she's not an idiot, but she does seem moderately reckless

just a bit

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Everything will not be fine. But it will go pear shaped in unexpected ways.

Joza is eager.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

im not sure if id say joza seems reckless, but i do think joza is overly bold and overconfident

snuffysam

yeah, that's what i meant. overconfident

anyway, as for what the fallout will be - been a while since nwain's been in the stockades

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

When they're in the city, they're over everything.

The Penny storyline has been very much in the background. I'm starting to feel like it's a side quest.

snuffysam

it does kind of have that aura about it. a villager mentioned penny offhandedly. nwain came across her by accident. and she'll get around to helping her once she's done with this tournament business.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i agree it feels like a side quest. but that almost makes me suspicious itll amount to more somehow. tho im not sure what

maybe the harpies know the truth about sundial city

and thats what this is an important questline

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe the harpies can teach them to play harps and they form a touring band?

Along with the cymbals on that one car.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i dont think the harpies know how to plays harps O_O alas

im actually seriously assuming theyre dead XD and that owlgirl is gonna be stuck with nwain forever

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Hope that'll be owl right with her.

snuffysam

that would suck if everyone was wrongly afraid of the giant owls, and then they all died before they could be redeemed

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe the giant owls are the people of sundial city

nwain journeyed for nothing

they were there all along

snuffysam

that would explain the shield symbol

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That'd be a hoot.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

Owlet you keep making your owl puns.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

One of the things I like, btw, with the animation style is how sometimes random extra panels appear. Like a bonus. The one coming to mind is when Joza's learning magic and there's the worry about the random snakes.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Don't give a hoot

snuffysam

it's always cute when that happens

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I gotta go owl in.

snuffysam

besides looking cool, the animated panels make it so that you don't know any of the actions that happen ahead of time

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Could there be random ladders with the random snakes?

snuffysam

which can lead to some funny moments

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Powel Up

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

snuffy: That's true, interesting point I hadn't considered!

I sometimes just marvel at how people blink and stuff.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

on the downside tho the animations make referencing things hard cause you gotta remember which panels had which story bits. so can take a while to find things sometime. XD

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I'm pretty good at remembering stuff like that. ^.^

Actually, when I first saw it I thought 'oh, neat, some panels will animate'... but it's ALL of 'em.

The little circles help with knowing to click on too, not just the blue borders.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea thats understandable, Rebel

and good for ya Math

snuffysam

i do like the little circles that show the dialogue progression. the comic really excels with UI design along with everything else

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah, technically speaking its executed very well. i found the interface to be pretty intuitive for getting through the panels.

snuffysam

i can't even imagine how much time/effort it takes to do each page, but dang is it worth it

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

It give it a creative edge over your usual comic

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

ah so since i didnt say it before, i actually think nwain might suffer some political fallout for teaching joza magic. at the very least i can see a plot line where joza goes to the crimson empire and joza's mom throws a fit XD

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Not saying every comic should have things like animations and interactive elements

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It's one of those things that really takes advantage of the digital medium. You can't exactly do that with a regular comic book.

snuffysam

i think nwain has the potential to cause political turmoil every time she takes a breath

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel, yeah, I agree. Though it could be that it gets Joza out of trouble, like if she'd been able to teleport away from the crazy snowball.

So perhaps all is forgiven.

Snuffy: Truth. It's a skill.

snuffysam

she has a tendency to drop the ball a bit. or at least, there's a tendency for the ball to be dropped in her vicinity.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. i doubt nwain will be in serious trouble or anything. just gonna get an afternoon in the stockades again O_O

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I also like the nickname Spoony.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Agreed with ya there(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It's soup-er.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Anyway, guessing the current arc will wrap soon, be interesting to see what happens. Impressed how long the comic's been going too, years!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Terrana Cliff, as well, for making Nwain and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Terrana Cliff’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on Dawn of the Dad by AnitaComics. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on May 31st from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: https://tapas.io/series/Dawn-of-the-Dad

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #bookclub #comic bookclub #webcomic bookclub #start faire #startfaire #comic tea party #ctp #nwain #terrana cliff

0 notes

viralhottopics · 7 years

Text

How technology gets us hooked

The Long Read: From a young age, humans love to press buttons that light up and make a noise. The thrill of positive feedback lies at the heart of addiction to gambling, games, and social media

Not long ago, I stepped into a lift on the 18th floor of a tall building in New York City. A young woman inside the lift was looking down at the top of her toddlers head with embarrassment as he looked at me and grinned. When I turned to push the ground-floor button, I saw that every button had already been pushed. Kids love pushing buttons, but they only push every button when the buttons light up. From a young age, humans are driven to learn, and learning involves getting as much feedback as possible from the immediate environment. The toddler who shared my elevator was grinning because feedback in the form of lights or sounds or any change in the state of the world is pleasurable.

But this quest for feedback doesnt end with childhood. In 2012, an ad agency in Belgium produced an outdoor campaign for a TV channel that quickly went viral. The campaigns producers placed a big red button on a pedestal in a quaint square in a sleepy town in Flanders. A big arrow hung above the button with a simple instruction: Push to add drama. You can see the glint in each persons eye as he or she approaches the button the same glint that came just before the toddler in my elevator raked his tiny hand across the panel of buttons.

Psychologists have long tried to understand how animals respond to different forms of feedback. In 1971, a psychologist named Michael Zeiler sat in his lab across from three hungry white carneaux pigeons. At this stage, the research programme focused on rats and pigeons, but it had lofty aims. Could the behaviour of lower-order animals teach governments how to encourage charity and discourage crime? Could entrepreneurs inspire overworked shift workers to find new meaning in their jobs? Could parents learn how to shape perfect children?

Before Zeiler could change the world, he had to work out the best way to deliver rewards. One option was to reward every desirable behaviour. Another was to reward those same desirable behaviours on an unpredictable schedule, creating some of the mystery that encourages people to buy lottery tickets. The pigeons had been raised in the lab, so they knew the drill. Each one waddled up to a small button and pecked persistently, hoping that the button would release a tray of Purina pigeon pellets. During some trials, Zeiler would programme the button so it delivered food every time the pigeons pecked; during others, he programmed the button so it delivered food only some of the time. Sometimes the pigeons would peck in vain, the button would turn red, and they would receive nothing.

When I first learned about Zeilers work, I expected the consistent schedule to work best. But thats not what happened at all. The results werent even close: the pigeons pecked almost twice as often when the reward wasnt guaranteed. Their brains, it turned out, were releasing far more dopamine when the reward was unexpected than when it was predictable. Zeiler had documented an important fact about positive feedback: that less is often more. His pigeons were drawn to the mystery of mixed feedback just as humans are attracted to the uncertainty of gambling.

Decades after Zeiler published his results, in 2012, a team of Facebook web developers prepared to unleash a similar feedback experiment on hundreds of millions of humans. The site already had 200 million users at the time a number that would triple over the next three years. The experiment took the form of a deceptively simple new feature called a like button.

Its hard to exaggerate how much the like button changed the psychology of Facebook use. What had begun as a passive way to track your friends lives was now deeply interactive, and with exactly the sort of unpredictable feedback that motivated Zeilers pigeons. Users were gambling every time they shared a photo, web link or status update. A post with zero likes wasnt just privately painful, but also a kind of public condemnation: either you didnt have enough online friends, or, worse still, your online friends werent impressed. Like pigeons, were more driven to seek feedback when it isnt guaranteed. Facebook was the first major social networking force to introduce the like button, but others now have similar functions. You can like and repost tweets on Twitter, pictures on Instagram, posts on Google+, columns on LinkedIn, and videos on YouTube.

The act of liking became the subject of etiquette debates. What did it mean to refrain from liking a friends post? If you liked every third post, was that an implicit condemnation of the other posts? Liking became a form of basic social support the online equivalent of laughing at a friends joke in public.

Web developer Rameet Chawla developed an app as a marketing exercise, but also a social experiment, to uncover the effect of the like button. When he launched it, Chawla posted this introduction on its homepage: People are addicted. We experience withdrawals. We are so driven by this drug, getting just one hit elicits truly peculiar reactions. Im talking about likes. Theyve inconspicuously emerged as the first digital drug to dominate our culture.

Chawlas app, called Lovematically, was designed to automatically like every picture that rolled through its users newsfeeds. It wasnt even necessary to impress them any more; any old post was good enough to inspire a like. Apart from enjoying the warm glow that comes from spreading good cheer, Chawla for the first three months, the apps only user also found that people reciprocated. They liked more of his photos, and he attracted an average of 30 new followers a day, a total of almost 3,000 followers during the trial period. On Valentines Day 2014, Chawla allowed 5,000 Instagram users to download a beta version of the app. After only two hours, Instagram shut down Lovematically for violating the social networks terms of use.

I knew way before launching it that it would get shut down by Instagram, Chawla said. Using drug terminology, you know, Instagram is the dealer and Im the new guy in the market giving away the drug for free.

Chawla was surprised, though, that it happened so quickly. Hed hoped for at least a week of use, but Instagram pounced immediately.

When I moved to the United States for postgraduate studies in 2004, online entertainment was limited. These were the days before Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube and Facebook was limited to students at Harvard. One evening, I stumbled on a game called Sign of the Zodiac (Zodiac for short) that demanded very little mental energy.

Zodiac was a simple online slot machine, much like the actual slot machines in casinos: you decided how much to wager, lazily clicked a button over and over again, and watched as the machine spat out wins and losses. At first, I played to relieve the stress of long days filled with too much thinking, but the brief ding that followed each small win, and the longer melody that followed each major win, hooked me fast. Eventually screenshots of the game would intrude on my day. Id picture five pink scorpions lining up for the games highest jackpot, followed by the jackpot melody that I can still conjure today. I had a minor behavioural addiction, and these were the sensory hangovers of the random, unpredictable feedback that followed each win.

My Zodiac addiction wasnt unusual. For 13 years, Natasha Dow Schll, a cultural anthropologist, studied gamblers and the machines that hook them. She collected descriptions of slot machines from gambling experts and current and former addicts, which included the following: Slots are the crack cocaine of gambling electronic morphine … the most virulent strain of gambling in the history of man Slots are the premier addiction delivery device.

These are sensationalised descriptions, but they capture how easily people become hooked on slot-machine gambling. I can relate, because I became addicted to a slots game that wasnt even doling out real money. The reinforcing sound of a win after the silence of several losses was enough for me.

In the US, banks are not allowed to handle online gambling winnings, which makes online gambling practically illegal. Very few companies are willing to fight the system, and the ones that do are quickly defeated. That sounds like a good thing, but free and legal games such as Sign of the Zodiac can also be dangerous. At casinos, the deck is stacked heavily against the player; on average the house has to win. But the house doesnt have to win in a game without money.

As David Goldhill, the chief executive officer of the Game Show Network, which also produces many online games, told me: Because were not restricted by having to pay real winnings, we can pay out $120 for every $100 played. No land-based casino could do that for more than a week without going out of business. As a result, the game can continue forever because the player never runs out of chips. I played Sign of the Zodiac for four years and rarely had to start a new game. I won roughly 95% of the time. The game only ended when I had to eat or sleep or attend class in the morning. And sometimes it didnt even end then.

Casinos win most of the time, but they have a clever way of convincing gamblers that the outcomes are reversed. Early slot machines were incredibly simple devices: the player pulled the machines arm to spin its three mechanical reels. If the centre of the reels displayed two or more of the same symbol when they stopped spinning, the player won a certain number of coins or credits. Today, slot machines allow gamblers to play multiple lines. Every time you play, youre more likely to win on at least one line, and the machine will celebrate with you by flashing bright lights and playing catchy tunes. If you play 15 lines, and you win on two of the lines, you make a net loss, and yet you enjoy the positive feedback that follows a win a type of win that Schll and other gambling experts call a loss disguised as a win.

Losses disguised as wins only matter because players dont classify them as losses they classify them as wins. This is what makes modern slot machines and modern casinos so dangerous. Like the little boy who hit every button in my lift, adults never really grow out of the thrill of attractive lights and sounds. If our brains convince us that were winning even when were actually losing, it becomes almost impossible to muster the self-control to stop playing.

Every time you play a slot machine it will celebrate with you by flashing bright lights and playing catchy tunes Photograph: imageBROKER/Rex/Shutterstock

The success of slot machines is measured by time on device. Since most players lose more money the longer they play, time on device is a useful proxy for profitability. Video-game designers use a similar measure, which captures how engaging and enjoyable their games are. The difference between casinos and video games is that many game designers are more concerned with making their games fun than with making buckets of money. Bennett Foddy, who teaches game design at New York Universitys Game Center, has created a number of successful free-to-play games, but each was a labour of love rather than a money-making vehicle.

Video games are governed by microscopic rules, Foddy says. When your mouse cursor moves over a particular box, text will pop up, or a sound will play. Designers use this sort of micro-feedback to keep players more engaged and more hooked in.

A game must obey these microscopic rules, because gamers are likely to stop playing a game that doesnt deliver a steady dose of small rewards that make sense given the games rules. Those rewards can be as subtle as a ding sound or a white flash whenever a character moves over a particular square. Those bits of micro-feedback need to follow the act almost immediately, because if theres a tight pairing in time between when I act and when something happens, then Ill think I was causing it.

The game Candy Crush Saga is a prime example. At its peak in 2013, the game generated more than $600,000 in revenue per day. To date, its developer, King, has earned around $2.5 billion from the game. Somewhere between half a billion and a billion people have downloaded Candy Crush Saga on their smartphones or through Facebook. Most of those players are women, which is unusual for a blockbuster.

Its hard to understand the games colossal success when you see how straightforward it is. Players aim to create lines of three or more of the same candy by swiping candies left, right, up, and down. Candies are crushed they disappear when you form these matching lines, and the candies above them drop down to take their place. The game ends when the screen fills with candies that cannot be matched. Foddy told me that it wasnt the rules that made the game a success it was juice. Juice refers to the games surface feedback. It isnt essential to the game, but its essential to the games success. Without juice, the game loses its charm.

Novice game designers often forget to add juice, Foddy said. If a character in your game runs through the grass, the grass should bend as he runs through it. It tells you that the grass is real and that the character and grass are in the same world. When you form a line in Candy Crush Saga, a reinforcing sound plays, the score associated with that line flashes brightly, and sometimes you hear words of praise intoned by a hidden, deep-voiced narrator.

Juice amplifies feedback, but its also designed to unite the real world and the gaming world. The most powerful vehicle for juice must surely be virtual reality (VR) technology, which is still in its infancy. VR places the user in an immersive environment, which the user navigates as she might the real world. Advanced VR also introduces multisensory feedback, including touch, hearing and smell.

In a podcast last year, the author and sports columnist Bill Simmons spoke to billionaire investor Chris Sacca, an early Google employee and Twitter investor, about his experience with VR. Im afraid for my kids, a little bit, Simmons said. I do wonder if this VR world you dive into is almost superior to the actual world youre in. Instead of having human interactions, I can just go into this VR world and do VR things and thats gonna be my life.

Sacca shared Simmons concerns. One of the things thats interesting about technology is that the improvement in resolution and sound modelling and responsiveness is outpacing our own physiological development, Sacca said. You can watch some early videos where you are on top of a skyscraper, and your body will not let you step forward. Your body is convinced that that is the side of the skyscraper. Thats not even a super immersive VR platform. So we have some crazy days ahead of us.

Until recently, most people thought of VR as a tool for gaming, but that changed when Facebook acquired Oculus VR for $2bn in 2014. Facebooks Mark Zuckerberg had big ideas for the Oculus Rift gaming headset that went far beyond games. This is just the start, Zuckerberg said. After games, were going to make Oculus a platform for many other experiences. Imagine enjoying a court-side seat at a game, studying in a classroom of students and teachers all over the world or consulting with a doctor face-to-face just by putting goggles in your home. VR no longer dwelled on the fringes. One day, we believe this kind of immersive, augmented reality will become a part of daily life for billions of people, said Zuckerberg.

In October 2015, the New York Times shipped a small cardboard VR viewer with its Sunday paper. Paired with a smartphone, the Google Cardboard viewer streamed VR content, including documentaries on North Korea, Syrian refugees, and a vigil following the Paris terror attacks. Instead of sitting through 45 seconds on the news of someone walking around and explaining how terrible it is, you are actively becoming a participant in the story that you are viewing, said Christian Stephen, a producer of one of the VR documentaries.

Despite the promise of VR, it also poses great risks. Jeremy Bailenson, a professor of communication at Stanfords Virtual Reality Interaction Lab, worries that the Oculus Rift will damage how people interact with the world. Am I terrified of the world where anyone can create really horrible experiences? Yes, it does worry me. I worry what happens when a violent video game feels like murder. And when pornography feels like sex. How does that change the way humans interact, function as a society?

When it matures, VR will allow us to spend time with anyone in any location doing whatever we like for as long as we like. That sort of boundless pleasure sounds wonderful, but it has the capacity to devalue face-to-face interactions. Why live in the real world with real, flawed people when you can live in a perfect world that feels just as real? Wielded by game designers, it might prove to be a vehicle for the latest in a series of escalating behavioural addictions.

Some experiences are designed to be addictive for the sake of ensnaring hapless consumers, but others happen to be addictive though they are primarily designed to be fun or engaging. The line that separates these is very thin; to a large extent the difference rests on the intention of the designer.

When Nintendos superstar game designer Shigeru Miyamoto created Super Mario Bros, his primary aim was to make a game that he himself enjoyed playing. Thats the point, he said, not to make something sell, something very popular, but to love something, and make something that we creators can love. Its the very core feeling we should have in making games.

When you compare Super Mario Bros regularly voted by game designers as one of the greatest games ever to others on the market, it is easy to recognise the difference in intention.

Adam Saltsman, who produced an acclaimed indie game called Canabalt in 2009, has written extensively about the ethics of game design. Many of the predatory games of the past five years use whats known as an energy system, Saltsman said. Youre allowed to play the game for five minutes, and then you artificially run out of stuff to do. The game will send you an email in, say, four hours when you can start playing again. I told Saltsman that the system sounded pretty good to me it forces gamers to take breaks and encourages kids to do their homework between gaming sessions. But thats where the predatory part comes in.

Super Mario Run was primarily designed by its creator, Shigeru Miyamoto, to be a game he enjoyed playing Photograph: PR

According to Saltsman: Game designers began to realise that players would pay $1 to shorten the wait time, or to increase the amount of energy their avatar would have once the four-hour rest period had passed. I came across this predatory device when playing a game called Trivia Crack. If you give the wrong answer several times, you run out of lives, and a dialogue screen gives you a choice: wait for an hour for more lives, or pay 99 cents to continue immediately. Many games hide these down-the-line charges. Theyre free, at first, but later you are forced to pay in-game fees to continue.

If you are minutes or even hours deep into the game, the last thing you want to do is admit defeat. You have so much to lose, and your aversion to that sense of loss compels you to feed the machine just one more time, over and over again. You start playing because you want to have fun, but you continue playing because you want to avoid feeling unhappy.

A game in which you always win is boring. It sounds appealing but it gets old fast. To some extent we all need losses and difficulties and challenges, because without them the thrill of success weakens gradually with each new victory. The hardship of the challenge is far more compelling than knowing you are going to succeed. This sense of hardship is an ingredient in many addictive experiences, including one of the most addictive games of all time: Tetris.

In 1984, Alexey Pajitnov was working at a computer lab at the Russian Academy of Science in Moscow. Many of the labs scientists worked on side projects, and Pajitnov began working on a video game. Pajitnov worked on Tetris for much longer than he planned because he couldnt stop playing the game. Eventually Pajitnov allowed his friends at the Academy of Science to play the game. Everyone who touched the game couldnt stop playing either.

His best friend, Vladimir Pokhilko, a former psychologist, remembered taking the game to his lab at the Moscow Medical Institute. Everybody stopped working. So I deleted it from every computer. Everyone went back to work, until a new version appeared in the lab.

Alexey Pajitnov, the inventor of Tetris Photograph: Sipa Press / Rex Features

Tetris spread from the Academy of Science to the rest of Moscow, and then on to the rest of Russia and eastern Europe. Two years later, in 1986, the game reached the west, but its big break came in 1991, when Nintendo signed a deal with Pajitnov. Every Game Boy would come with a free game cartridge that contained a redesigned version of Tetris.

That year I saved up and ultimately bought a Game Boy, which is how I came to play Tetris for the first time. It wasnt as glitzy as some of my other favourites, but I played for hours at a time. Nintendo was smart to include the game with their new portable console, because it was easy to learn and very difficult to abandon. I assumed that I would grow tired of Tetris, but sometimes I still play the game today, more than 25 years later. It has longevity because it grows with you. Its easy at first, but as your skills improve, the game gets more difficult. The pieces fall from the top of the screen more quickly, and you have less time to react than you did when you were a novice.

This escalation of difficulty is a critical hook that keeps the game engaging long after you have mastered its basic moves. Twenty-five years ago, a psychiatrist named Richard Haier showed that this progression is pleasurable because your brain becomes more efficient as you improve. Haier decided to watch as people mastered a video game, though he knew little about the cutting-edge world of gaming. In 1991 no one had heard of Tetris, he said in an interview a few years later. I went to the computer store to see what they had and the guy said, Here try this. Its just come in. Tetris was the perfect game, it was simple to learn, you had to practise to get good, and there was a good learning curve.

Haier bought some copies of Tetris for his lab and watched as his experimental subjects played the game. He did find neurological changes with experience parts of the brain thickened and brain activity declined, suggesting experts brains worked more efficiently but more relevant here, he found that his subjects relished playing the game. They signed up to play for 45 minutes a day, five days a week, for up to eight weeks. They came for the experiment (and the cash payment that came with participating), but stayed for the game.

One satisfying feature of the game is the sense that you are building something your efforts produce a pleasing tower of coloured bricks. You have the chaos coming as random pieces, and your job is to put them in order. The game allows you the brief thrill of seeing your completed lines flash before they disappear, leaving only your mistakes. So you begin again, and try to complete another line as the game speeds up and your fingers are forced to dance across the controls more quickly.

Mikhail Kulagin, Pajitnovs friend and a fellow programmer, remembers feeling a drive to fix his mistakes. Tetris is a game with a very strong negative motivation. You never see what you have done very well, and your mistakes are seen on the screen. You always want to correct them.

The sense of creating something that requires labour and effort and expertise is a major force behind addictive acts that might otherwise lose their sheen over time. It also highlights an insidious difference between substance addiction and behavioural addiction: where substance addictions are nakedly destructive, many behavioural addictions are quietly destructive acts wrapped in cloaks of creation. The illusion of progress will sustain you as you achieve high scores or acquire more followers or improve your skills, and so, if you want to stop, youll struggle ever harder against the drive to grow.

Some designers are very much against infinite format games, like Tetris, said Foddy, because theyre an abuse of a weakness in peoples motivational structures they wont be able to stop.

Humans find the sweet spot sandwiched between too easy and too difficult irresistible. Its the land of just-challenging-enough computer games, financial targets, work ambitions, social media objectives and fitness goals. It is in this sweet spot where the need to stop crumbles before obsessive goal-setting that addictive experiences live.

This is an adapted extract of Irresistible by Adam Alter, published on 2 March by The Bodley Head in the UK and Penguin Press in the US on 7 March

Follow the Long Read on Twitter at @gdnlongread, or sign up to the long read weekly email here.