#ikea fam

[gggoldfinch]

Me when I infect @0lemunch with ikea mafia brainrot in the year 2024

#if I don’t revive this fandom my life will be pointless #who haven’t I tried to indoctrinate into the cult atp #ikea fam

[jossambird]

Where are my IkeaFam peeps at? It’s me, ya girl Jossambird 💅🏻

#the swedes #ikea mafia #tua swedes #the swedes x reader #tua otto #tua axel #ikea fam #tua oscar

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

BACK WITH A BLAHAJ, WHO HAS NAME SUGGESTIONS FOR HIM?

HI MAGGOTS I LOVE YOU I WENT OUTSIDE PROPERLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A FUCKING MONTH AND I WALKED WITH A CANE (I AM KAZ BREKKER) AND OKAY SO MY INJURED LEG MAY NOW BE RE-INJURED WITH A SPRAIN ON TOMMY THE HAEMATOMA BUT IT WAS WORTH IT I HAVE A BLAHAJ NOW:

WHY AM I ON THE FLOOR? BECAUSE SITTING ON CHAIRS IS PAINFUL FOR TOMMY DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT ANYWAY MEET THE NEWEST ADDITION TO THE MAGGOT FAM. ANY NAME SUGGESTIONS?

WHY AM I IN CAPS? WELL FIRST OF ALL IT'S ME, AND SECOND OF ALL IKEA OFFERS FREE REFILLS ON THEIR COFFEE. WHO AM I TO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT? I HAD A LOT OF FUCKING COFFEE WITH NO SUPERVISION EXCEPT BY @random-doctor-on-the-internet ON WHATSAPP AND ZE IS A CAFFEINE ADDICT SO I DIDN'T LISTEN TO ZIR HYPOCRISY.

AROUND THE THIRD CUP (FOURTH? I LOST TRACK?) I BEGAN TO SMELL JESUS AND I COULD FEEL MY ORGANS AND MY HEART. SO I HAD TO LEAVE THAT CUP HALF-DRUNK.

ALSO I WAS A FUCKING FOOL AS USUAL AND IKEA IS A DEATH TRAP. I ENTERED, FILLED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS OF NOT WALKING TOO MUCH ON MY INJURED LEG AFTER BEING BASICALLY IMMOBILE FOR FOUR WEEKS. I DIDN'T LOOK AT THE MAP (I'M BAD WITH MAPS) AND INSTEAD CHECKED THE LIST OF SHOWROOM THINGIES AND IT SAID THE CHILDREN'S SECTION WAS NUMBER 9 ON THE LIST OF 1 TO 10, AND I WAS AT 1, NEAR THE RESTAURANT.

SO NATURALLY I DIDN'T READ NUMBER 10 AND I SET OFF THROUGH THE WHOLE FUCKING MAZE OF SHOWROOMS WITH MY CANE, STEP CLICK STEP CLICK, WITH MY POOR RIGHT LEG AND MY RIGHT ARM ALTERNATIVELY SUPPORTING MY WEIGHT. I ALSO GOT LOST. MORE THAN ONCE.

FINALLY I REACHED THE CHILDREN'S SECTION, PROCURED MY BLAHAJ, SAW A TINY WHALE WHO'D FALLEN OUT OF HIS BUNDLE AND ALMOST TOOK HIM TOO SINCE HE'S UNSELLABLE BUT THEN ABANDONED HIM COZ I DIDN'T HAVE THE BRAINPOWER TO EXPLAIN TO THE CASHIER THAT IT WASN'T ME WHO RIPPED HIM OUT, AND ANYWAY. I GOT WHAT I CAME FOR.

THEN I THOUGHT AH SHIT GONNA HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE RESTAURANT AND I TOOK A STEP FORWARD AND REALISED... I WAS AT THE FUCKING RESTAURANT???? WHERE I'D BEGUN???????

BECAUSE THE NUMBER FUCKING NINE WAS CHILDREN'S SECTION AND THE NUMBER FUCKING TEN WAS THE RESTAURANT. I'D WALKED IN A CIRCLE. AND LANDED STRAIGHT BACK. I COULD HAVE AVOIDED THAT IF I'D JUST READ THE LAST ITEM ON THE NUMBERS. OR LOOKED AT THE MAP.

OH AND THE PLACE AT THE METRO DIDN'T HAVE WATER SO I DRANK SUGARY SODA AND THEN WENT UP THE WRONG PLATFORM ANYWAY SO TOMMY IS FUCKED NOW I MAY HAVE SCREWED UP WHATEVER PROGRESS I MADE.

HALLELUJAH!

IF YOU READ THIS FAR WOW THANKS I LOVE YOU *BITES YOU TO SHOW AFFECTION* ANYWAY AGAIN THE BLAHAJ NEEDS A NAME AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY I'M SO COFFEE ANEHEHEHEHE

#good omens mascot #blahaj #shork #ikea shark #transblr #lgbtqia #ikea posts #ikea plushies #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #maggots #maggot fam #COFFEEEEEE #HEHEH #fuck you tommy the haematoma #IM SO COFFEE #HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEH

[bluegreysilkie]

Assembling furniture with your darling🥰

#the dragon prince #digital art #illustration #fanart #runaan #ethari #ruthari #fancomic #modern au #moonshadow fam #digital #headcanon that ethari builds ikea furniture without a manual and it drives runaan bananas #they both apologised at the end

[pick-a-lane]

something intresting i discovered: on cod tiktok, sometimes creators will have super cool “callsigns” like “dove” or “python”. which is like. super awesome!! you guys pop off. But now im sitting here wondering what my “callsign” would be. except i dont want a cool one, I want one of those silly, backstory filled, dumb callsigns, like soap, roach and meat have.

#sigh #if only i had friends who also had cod intrests #i kinda feel like sketch would work #because i sketch when im anxious and military would freak me tf out #but also.. what about something stupid #like blanket #or #teeth? #idk #some of my fam was in the marines and their friends would always have such funny callsigns. i only know some of them by their nicknames #aswell. mr smurf if your out there i think your callsign is hilarious and i dont know your real name #only that your called smurf #gigachad callsign btw #no idea why he was even called that #new idea: blahaj #because I sleep with that fucking ikea shark every night #I LOVE MY BLAHAJ

[shieldherostuffs]

By the process of "Most of these people don't even know what Ikea IS" and "The Royals have never touched a tool in their entire lives", we're down to the summoned Heroes as a 'Who in your FOUND FAMILY can do this?'.

And by process of "I'm Biased" and seeing how much, and how good he is at using his hands in canon, Naofumi does if perfectly well, and only requires help if it's to lift something or hold it or hand him something.

Motoyasu can assemble things but they will collapse after either three hours or three business weeks, after which he will call for help only to realize he didn't tighten anything properly. (He does know how to very efficiently change lightbulbs tho)

Ren and Itsuki can assemble pretty much anything if they work together but will need help if it's something standing, like a closet, because they either can't reach or can't carry it.

Kizuna can't assemble any Ikea. She creates eldritch Pinocchio horrors.

#personally i am a pro at assembling Ikea #>:) #the rising of the shield hero #rising of the shield hero #naofumi iwatani #motoyasu kitamura #itsuki kawasumi #ren amaki #kizuna kazayama #shield hero family #shield fam #found family #shield hero prompt #ikea #who can assemble ikea

[queenerdloser]

i'm just realizing that starting tomorrow i will literally be busy every day until like. december 25. what is up with that. how did i bamboozle myself into having Things Going On for like a week and a half.

#liveblogging life #im shopping with my parents two days i picked up extra shifts this weekend #and by extra shifts i mean i booked myself two doubles back to back so i wont be doing anything #but working and sleeping this weekend lmao #then next week i have to go to dinner with a faculty member i'm seeing two plays i joined a christmas sing along... #and then it's chrismas with my immediate fam and christmas with my extended fam #what the fuck #me trying to figure out a good time to go to fucking ikea: uh.... uh oh #i still have a few things i need to get but um. when tho. #i could go today but i feel awful tbh and i really dont feel like leaving my house #esp now that i know i will be Doing Things so much

[starfoam]

//“Esme finished her internship, got something else, moved apartments, that’s GOTTA be it right” YOU THOUGHT I’m getting on a plane tomorrow

#and then a week later driving BACK to my apartment to build IKEA furniture with the fam #it does not stop it will never stop #not to mention I have appointments three days straight while I'm there #when will it END

[meistoshim]

#prolly gnna be useless the rest of the night bc making pizza & then promptly falling asleep bc ive got a date tmrrw & wanna be Awake #dnd got cancelled this week bc one of the players got dragged on vacation to italy by his fam #so my partner's using it as an excuse to finally drag me to an ikea since ive never set foot in one skfgjhsdf #well actually Im using it as an excuse to go on a date w her & shes using That as an excuse to drag me to ikea #love wins <3 #gnna lurk here & on discord for a bit tho :) #▐█ ▌ ◇ — ( pkmn is autistic culture. )

[alienaiver]

assembled ikea furniture and i keep thinking of suna in my domestic series 🥺

#a bed a closet two cabinets and a table !!!! im SO effective #my friend just got their own apartment and since i LOVE assembling ikea furniture and their dad (my found fam dad) LOATHES IT #i was HIRED LMAAAO it was so fun!!! but im BEAT #it was like a super elaborate bed with shelves and #drawers on top of top shelves above the bed too #nohr.txt

[bfiend]

hi can sb pls help me find that fic where joe has a vape and nicky drowns in the atlantis ocean and has to like swim back to shore all grumpy and then at the end nicky makes nile ikea meatballs?? im not sure these r in one same fic but id appreciate ur help a lot <333

#pretty sure the vaper joe and ikea meatballs r in the same one #it was nile centric and the fam was showing her a lot of love #plss help thanks a looooot

[gggoldfinch]

forcing ikea fam into a renaissance. sound off soldiers

(i am the user formerly known as itsminorine if you didn't already know)

#i learned how to make gifs for you all come come #tua the swedes #ikea mafia #ikea fam

[jossambird]

listen my love for the swedes was just recently reignited for whatever reason,,, and your blog is absolutely a gold mine. i am in love

HI SWEDES FAN!! ❤️

Omg! Thank you for saying that! That was so sweet of you to reach out and say! 🥺❤️

Im so glad you liked them! Ive actually noticed a HUGE influx of new Swede fans and old ones coming back and Im bouta start writing again for these hot motherfuckers if this continues👀

#jossambird confessions #the swedes #ikea mafia #tua swedes #the swedes x reader #tua otto #tua axel #ikea fam #tua oscar #IKEA FAM IS ASSEMBLING OMG!

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Asmi my dear, have you ever folded a fitted bedsheet?

I... I have tried to. We do not talk about about my level of success or lack thereof.

What--why is this a question? Is this your suggestion for Patreon content that I make? Just me losing my mind over trying to fold a fitted bedsheet? Because if so, while I don't doubt this sadistic fandom will find it amusing, the Patreon thing sounds like even more of a terrible idea.

Realistic image of what would happen:

HELLO MAGGOTS I'M GOING TO FOLD THIS FITTED SHEET FOR MONEY HOW IS THIS MY LIFE NOW. Okay really carefully like one bit after another. IKEA I believe in you surely you made this sheet foldable. I'm gonna just... uh... tuck in the corner. Okay that didn't work. FUCKING HELL STAY IN PLACE I JUST WANT TO TURN YOU OVER IN HALF. SWEDEN YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS JUST LET ME FOLD THE GODDAMN THING IN HALF. FITTED SHEET MORE LIKE SHITTED FEET AMIRITE AHAHAHAHAHAH FUCKING FOLD GODDAMMIT STAY CORNERED SO I CAN PRETEND YOU'RE AN ORDINARY SHEET. I feel like there was a tutorial on Pinterest and this had a technique but we all know I forgot it as soon as I saw it. Besides now it's outright war between me and you, you shitted feet, and I will not be conquered by an IKEA sheet. WE'RE NOT INVADING DENMARK ANYMORE WE'RE INVADING SWEDEN IKEA YOU COULD HAVE MADE THIS A LITTLE EASIER. I KNOW ALL FITTED SHEETS ARE LIKE THIS BUT I'M CHOOSING TO BLAME SWEDEN BECAUSE THIS ONE IS FROM IKEA. AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH IF TIME IS MONEY IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST ME LESS TO GO BUY A MATTRESS AND JUST STORE THE FITTED SHEET AROUND A MATTRESS. MAYBE I CAN JUST CRUMPLE IT UP AND TOSS IT SOMEWHERE. Wait no you guys paid for me to fold it. SEE THIS IS THE ISSUE WITH CAPITALISM I AM A SLAVE TO THE DAILY GRIND--

I hate how vividly I pictured that. And yeah. My internal monologues do actually sound like that.

@howmanyholesinswisscheese maybe if you'd been less vanilla mum wouldn't have left you and then I'd know how to fold a fitted sheet. @arkytiorlecter you failed me too. @obsessed-sketches Dear Dr Leo, my family did not teach me to fold fitted sheets. What do I do?

#shitpost #IS THIS WHAT YOU'D CALL A SHEET POST #OR A FIT POST #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #good omens mascot #now in the business of folding fitted sheets #maggots #fitted sheets #ikea #about... fitted sheets? #shitposting #what am i doing #idk man #this is just #HOW DID I END UP HERE #the fam #dear dr leo

[c0ffeeb1ack]

#the umbrella academy #tua #tuamre #polls #SLIGHTLY more variety in characters this time around #diego and luther got funnier and dumber in s2 so it's not too surprising #also yessssss the handler

[pastelfates]

Talk about some of your favorite experiences on this website if you feel comfortable doing so! I'm meaning favorite threads, partners, muse experiences, etc. You've gone through a lot of hardship across multiple blogs yet you never give up and you keep doing what you love so I figured it'd be nice to talk about the positive stuff that helps you to keep going despite all the trouble.

◌・❀➵ Okie so this is gonna be long post so everyone grab a drink n some snacks! I just wanna start with that if it wasn't for my mutuals I have no idea where I'd be, ya'll have been with me through so much and some of the hardest times of my life and I can't thank everyone who has stayed enough.

◌・❀➵ FAVORITE THREADS/INTERACTIONS

➵ @morifactory ➵ Eddie and Serina meeting! Also the Riba and Serina and Riba ikea thread/ All our Carbon and Serina threads hav a place in my heart. And Talia w the blond bois! Also so far Kiki and Esmee has my heart. And ya know our first scarvi ocs and our stardew ocs. Me and Lena hav a lot of connected ocs

➵ I'm gonna count this as a thread bc it was a thread of asks but Mana once had multiple sections of the bee movie sent to her and it was absolutely hilarious. Committed to the bit with the url /frankiebeestan at that time.

➵ @constellationcrowned / @malusrecord ➵ LISTEN I care so much for Nellie, Mell, and Sunny's lil friendship (i hav a half typed starter for them in drafts shh), and Mana and Kariom's friendship is very special to me bc sobs Mana feels v comfy around him which means a lot bc she rarely fills comfy around ppl.

➵ @ervaurem ➵ Listen the family stuff with Law and the sisters is my weakness. It's been since 2021 that the fam has existed and I heccin cri. The treasure hunt thread has my heart,,

➵ This one is fairly recent but with @riftdancer, @ofstarsandskies, and @mathcs the whole Jude is evil arc has been so much fun so far!

➵ This was more so on discord but the relations have made their way to tungle but @pyonpyonpyon, @forgottenluck, @talesofourworlds, @mathcs, and @broadswordandpistol the sad boi drinking hours,, it was so cursed and sad at the same time, and it was such a highlight to me.

➵ @strebcr ➵ Can I say all of them? Just Streber and Mana have had so many good threads! Mana loves her new frog and just aaa

➵ @maligncntchain ➵ again with just recent threads but the two were cute and just silly gremlin uses the power of treats to not be immediately under the control of pecharunt was v funny to me

➵ @archivisim ➵ Sobs special place for the lil series of thread/asks we had just recently. Their similarities really just came through and they are hopefully gonna be more comfortable around each other!!

➵ @hxroic-wxlls ➵ cris it was like forever ago but the thread with Sunny and Luigi was so wholesome and I want you to know Sunny thinks Luigi is v cool. Also Mana and Simon has a v somft relationship i adore. the lil drill necklace he gave her for her birthday is one of her prized possessions.

➵ I know I posted a lot of newer stuff so I'm gonna bring up a thread from like ages ago?? 2018-2019 to be exact, the days I wrote non-seriously. I had a thread with two people over a skit in a game and it was just peak. Also that blog is still around (not deleted) so anytime I wish I can see the silly threads that bring me so much joy.

➵ Again on older threads, and while this one isn't on tumblr it is canon to Mana history. She has unapologetically set a bakery on fire with no remorse. That event also had like the first actual set appearance of REGRET and her lil maze which honestly makes me v happy bc REGRET is one of my all time favorite ocs. And Symonne's maze was there too, really care for that Ivar and Sync interaction in the rpg horror house w the fake Jude and stuff

➵ FAVORITE PARTNERS / People I adore seeing on dash

@ad-simul , @archivisim, @broadswordandpistol, @opscurus / @cpirits , @canidgrit, @castelias-comeups, @constellationcrowned / @malusrecord, @electricea, @ervaurem, @forgottenluck, @historias-multorum , @hxroic-wxlls, @kaizokugaris, @lightfallls , @maligncntchain , @morifactory , @nobuverse, @ofstarsandskies, @pinklocksoflove, @riftdancer, @talesofourworlds / @outofthisgxlaxy, @soulsbetrayed,

➵ I love seeing you all on dash, your threads are all peak and I just wanna say tysm for being moots with me and allowing me the opportunity to be a part of the stories you unfold for your characters. I am forever thankful to you all for everything and to the all of you have stayed with me despite how awful things have gotten, thank you for never giving up on me and seeing something in me when even I wasn't able to. You all are the reason I'm still here, continuing this hobby I love to my core. I hope I can be around for many more years to come and that I will continue to have you all by my side.

#➵ ooc #constellationcrowned #Im too lazy to tag everyone but thank you all so so much #I adore you all and I will say it as often as need be