#if you've read all these. hiya! and thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to look at my drawing and all

[toomuchracket]

all i want for christmas (birthday party!matty x reader fluff)

back from the dead (a depressive episode) with a fluffy pre-dating fic that's honestly longer than it needs to be. whatever. it's christmas. this fic is also part of christmas75/twelve days of christmas, organised and curated by my lovely friend @abiiors. hope you all enjoy <3

wednesday, 3:34am

as soon as the “email sent” pop-up appears, you feebly close your laptop and lay your head on the desk, ready to finally give in to the sleep that's been edging ever closer to your eyelids for the past hour. but before you get the chance, your phone buzzes with an incoming notification, the vibrations rattling through the wood of the desk and into your skull.

swearing, your voice scratchy with underuse, you open one eye and tilt the screen towards you - the name it bears above the unread text makes you shoot back up to a sitting position, and knocks all traces of grumpiness and tiredness from your brain and body.

matty.

pointedly ignoring the butterflies in your stomach when you see he's opened his message with hi, darling, you continue reading: hope you're alright, and that the new book isn't kicking your arse too much. saw a group of kids in barnes & noble raving about your last one earlier. would've joined them if i wasn't in a hurry, to be honest. fucking brilliant. anyway, i know it's late, but i had to text you before i forgot. can you give me a call when you get this, darling? flying home early tomorrow so i'll be up from about… 8am your time? i've got a favour to ask you. nothing crazy, though, and nothing urgent. but yeah, just phone me when you can. thanks, darling. miss you, talk to you soon. bye! X

just as you're reeling from the three darlings and the kiss and the miss you, another text from your best friend comes in, accompanied by a photo: also look at who you were next to on this display. i got so excited. my three favourites!

you laugh out loud, a combination of shock at the fact your collection is between slouching towards bethlehem and consider the lobster and adoration at matty's beaming face next to it all. fuck, he's cute.

so cute. enough for you to forget that it’s 3 o'clock in the morning, and happily pick up your phone and dial his number - you've spent so much time poring over your message threads that you know it off by heart - as if it was mid-afternoon. you kick your legs back and forth as the call connects, smiling to yourself at the thought of hearing his voice for the first time in over a month.

luckily, you don't have long to wait; your heart flutters as he picks up on the second ring, voice thick in the way it only goes when he's smoking. “you know, you didn't have to call me right away, darling. thought you'd have been asleep. but hiya!”

“hi, matty,” you smile. “and come on, it's deadline week, of course my sleep schedule is fucked. questioning why i'm not asleep, christ, thought you knew me better than that.”

he takes your teasing in good faith. “i do, darling, i do know you,” matty's voice is soft, his tone as tender as you've ever heard it. it's driving you batshit insane. “but you know me. i just want to make sure you're not stressing yourself out about your work too much. rather have my best friend's wellbeing intact than another book, even though your writing is my favourite. speaking of, that display! i'm recreating it at home. genuinely. s'amazing.”

you can feel your cheeks burning. “i can't even comprehend that display right now, m'too tired. but i’ll text you my thoughts once they make sense. and i'm alright, matty, honest. please don't worry about me, lovely.”

“that'll never happen, and you know it.”

“god, you're obstinate. but thanks. i appreciate the care.”

“even when you're insulting me, you're so eloquent. you've got a gift,” matty laughs down the phone. “how's deadline week going, anyway?”

“it's done. just sent the final draft away for edits. s'why i'm still up, actually.”

“really? congrats, darling!” the genuine happiness in his tone makes your heart hurt. “god, i wish i was home now, so we could go out and celebrate.”

“me too. but we'll see each other this weekend for early christmas dinner, yeah?”

“that's what i wanted to talk to you about, actually. you know those roast potatoes you made last year?”

“you mean the ones you and alexa fought over the last spoonful of?” you laugh, remembering the two of them racing to the tiny kitchen in your flat to try and nab them.

“m'still fucking fuming that she got them. bitch,” matty grumbles, then giggles. “nah, she's like my sister, i love her. but yeah, those potatoes. can i have the recipe for them, please?”

you suck air in through your teeth. “well… no. that’s a family secret, lovely. m'sorry.”

“oh,” matty sounds so genuinely deflated that you could cry - you seldom see him upset, but the thought of his pretty face all sad makes you feel incredibly guilty. “that's alright, darling, i understand. my nana was the same with her soup recipes. you'd have to marry me if you wanted them.”

you hum out a laugh, brain suddenly scrambled at the thought of walking down the aisle towards him. god. get a grip! 

scrunching your eyes closed and blinking them open again - a tried and tested way to stop yourself going off on tangents - an idea pops into your head, so obvious that you’re not sure why you haven't suggested it already. “well, in lieu of us getting hitched within the next week,” you smile, enjoying the way matty laughs softly at the other end of the line. “i could come over early to yours and make the potatoes for you, if you'd like?”

“i quite like the sound of the first option, to be honest…”

what the fuck?! you have to clap a hand over your mouth to stop a gasp. or a scream. perhaps even a moan.

“...but i'm more than happy with the second one. thank you, darling,” matty's smile is as audible as his relief. “you're a lifesaver and a legend. come over whenever on sunday, yeah? wake me up if you have to. actually, no, i'll pick you up. s'the least i could do to thank you. and it means we get to spend even more time together.”

“that sounds nice,” you all but sigh into your phone. “i'm excited to see everyone.”

mostly you, though.

“as am i, darling,” matty yawns. it's the cutest sound you've ever heard. for fuck's sake. “m'not bored talking to you, honest, just tired. this is actually the most fun i've had in weeks, this phone call.”

you want to assume he's lying out of politeness, but something in your brain tells you he's being sincere; it's not like you can say anything to dispute him, either, given it's also the most fun you've had in weeks. “matty, you’re in new york. at christmas time.”

“yeah, alone! s'boring. macaulay culkin made it seem a lot more fun when i was a kid,” matty snorts. “plus, i saw you the last time i was here. any trip you're not on is just automatically a bad one.”

christ, what is with him today? “flatterer,” you smirk, before grimacing and continuing to talk. “but i assume you've not been… totally alone, the whole time? i don't like the thought of that being the case.”

you hope to god he's too tired to pick up on your actual meaning; the sight of him with another girl isn’t unfamiliar to you, but that isn’t to say you don't mind it. quite the opposite, in fact.

thank christ, he misses it. “no, i’ve been good. slept by myself every night,” he laughs.

you giggle, relieved. “really? wow.”

“why are you surprised at that?”

“you're you, matty.”

“yeah, well, i'm going through a metamorphosis-”

“kafkaesque of you.”

“knew that one was coming as soon as i said it,” matty sighs. “but in all seriousness, in the past couple of months, i've just… fully realised what i want in life, you know? and it's not what i used to want, or get up to.”

interesting. “well, that's good. m'happy for you, lovely.”

“yeah, thanks. and what about you, miss? you, um, bringing anyone to christmas dinner?”

you snort. “obvs not.”

matty hums. “why'd you say it like that?”

“like what?”

“like,” he pauses, trying to find the words. you can just picture the shape of his eyebrows as he does. “derisively. as if it's a silly question.”

“because it is a silly question, matty.”

“is it?”

“yeah,” you giggle. “i wouldn't even have time for a one night stand, let alone a relationship. not that there's anyone particularly interested, right now, anyway.”

“oh, there is,” comes the reply. “there really is.”

“if you say so.”

“believe me, darling, people want you. they're down bad. totally in love with you.”

“oh, you are so high right now, aren't you?”

“i mean, yeah. but i'm right!”

“uh huh,” you smirk. “i think you need your bed, matty.”

“pot, kettle.”

“alright, point taken,” you peel yourself off your chair, joints cracking slightly worryingly as you stand and pad across the flat to your room. ��i'm going there now.”

matty sighs happily. “good. but send me a selfie as proof. accountability and all.”

it's an innocent enough ask, and not a totally unprecedented one - in the times where your self-neglect was at its worst, you would send matty and your other friends selfies so they could make sure you were alright - but the concept of sending matty a late-night pic from your bed does something quite odd to your brain and stomach.

still, you’ll oblige. but will he?

matty giggles when you ask him as much. “yeah, i'll send you one in return. i'm all about reciprocation, me.”

the words leave your mouth before you can stop them. “good to know.”

he laughs, that stupid hyena cackle of his that might be your favourite sound in the world. “christ, i've missed you.”

“it's reciprocated,” you smile, switching your phone between hands as you get into bed and hissing quietly at how cold the sheets are. “alright, i'm in my bed. and you should be too.”

“you're right, i should be,” matty says. his voice is lower than you've ever heard it, the rasp of his cigarettes prominent; despite yourself, it goes straight between your legs. “soon, though, darling. promise.”

“good,” your voice comes out breathier than expected, a setting you haven't used in some time. “i think we both need it.”

“yeah, i think we do, too,” matty yawns again, following it up with a sigh. “right. i'm going to hang up now, darling. i really don't want to, but i feel like if i don't then one of us is gonna fall asleep before we can exchange pics. and i can't be having that, honestly. miss looking at you.”

you giggle, rolling onto your stomach and kicking your legs back and forth. jesus christ, what is this man doing to you? “don't get too excited, i look like shit.”

well, you've looked worse lately - you at least showered and clipped your hair up and put on a clean outfit today. but still, far less glamorous than matty's used to.

or not - “i've literally held your hair back while you yoshed in a plant pot, darling, i think you're alright.”

“and on that note, let's wrap it up,” you laugh, rolling back to lie down. “what time should i be ready for on sunday?”

“oh, um… half twelve? that should be enough time to get everything sorted.”

“half twelve it is,” you yawn. “ok. bedtime. have a safe flight, lovely. talk soon?”

“‘course. don't forget that selfie, by the way. eagerly awaiting it.”

“et toi. lots of love, see you soon.”

“back at you, darling. goodnight.”

the call ends. you close your eyes and, for the briefest of moments, let yourself dwell on the fact your best friend - who, let's be honest, you have a bit of a crush on - shamelessly flirted with you to the point of bordering on phone sex, and let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance he might feel the same way you do.

but it's matty. sweet, cheeky, affectionate matty, who'd find a way to flirt with a brick wall if he was bored enough. because that's what he is, really - bored, high, alone on a phone call with a girl late at night. it's just a natural thing for him to do in those circumstances. you're not special, you were just… there.

that notion stings more than you expected. but you persevere, opening your camera and fixing your glasses. he's your best friend, after all, and he asked you to do this to make sure you were alright. nothing more than that.

still, as you close your eyes and smile, you hold the phone with both hands so your boobs push ever so slightly more together. just in case. then you caption the pic as requested, and hit send.

matty’s reply buzzes in a few seconds later, eliciting a shocked giggle from your lips: fucking love it when you wear your glasses. a follow-up appears in another few seconds: if that's you looking like shit… you're defo the sexiest bit of shit i've ever seen.

fuck him for getting you flustered like this. honestly, fuck him.

and, oh, when he sends a selfie in return, shirtless in low light, hair in its natural state, one hand behind his head… don't you want to do just that?

you bite your lip as you compose your response: my condolences to the single girls in nyc who are missing out on you looking like that tonight.

matty: i know, poor them lol. but their loss is one specific single girl in london’s gain, though, yeah?

you: fuck yeah

matty: you crack me up

matty: miss you sm

matty: anyway, sweet dreams. see you in them, i hope

matty: but see you irl on sunday lol xx

you: miss you too, lovely. goodnight xx

***

sunday, 12:56pm

a mass of black fur rams into your legs as soon as you step through matty's front door. you laugh, dropping your bags and crouching to pet an over-excited mayhem, while matty grumbles behind you. “at least let her get in the house, mayhem, christ!”

“don't listen to him,” you coo at the dog, nuzzling into you quite adorably. “i'm just as happy to see you as you are to see me, baby. got a present for you and everything.”

“you did not buy the dog a christmas present,” matty groans, gently pulling the coat from your shoulders.

“of course i did. got you one as well.”

“thought we agreed we weren't doing presents this year?”

“well, i'm a dirty liar,” you brush down your dress and turn to face matty, smiling. “that, and i saw something when i was in glasgow that i couldn't resist getting you.”

matty's eyes widen near-imperceptibly as he takes in the dark red fabric clinging to you like a second skin, raking up and down your body almost too quickly for you to clock. 

almost. you bite back a smirk. got him!

much to your chagrin, though, he recovers quickly and turns the tables. “well, it's difficult to keep control when you see something… attractive,” he murmurs, gaze lifting to meet yours. “i like that dress, darling, you look gorgeous. and,” his tone and face brighten. “i actually got you a gift, too.”

the revelation is just as shocking as the way he looked at you is. “you did?”

“we're both dirty liars, it seems,” matty grins. he nods towards the kitchen. “make yourself comfortable in there, darling, and i'll go and get it. only be two minutes, promise, and then i'll help you find whatever you need, yeah?”

“you've not done a mad rearranging of your kitchen cupboards since the last time we all came over for dinner, have you?”

“nah.”

you wave nonchalantly. “then i'm good, i know where everything i need is.”

matty smiles down at you - there's an expression in his eyes that you can't quite name - and gently nudges you down the hall. his hand is light against your back, but it sends shockwaves through your nervous system regardless. “alright. give me a shout if you need anything, though, please.”

“i will, lovely,” you smile back just as sweetly. “want me to put some christmas music on? get into the festive spirit and all?”

“anything but band aid.”

you laugh, and matty joins in. “i was thinking more sinatra, anyway.”

“perfect.”

and that's exactly how he'd describe the scene in the kitchen he walks into thirty minutes later. the room is warm, made cosy by the oven that's been slow-cooking turkey for a little while now, soundtracked by frank crooning out have yourself a merry little christmas. mayhem snoozes in his bed by the massive window, which shows snow dusting over the garden like icing sugar on a cake, and then there's you. still keeping an eye on the potatoes bubbling on the hob, you sway gently to the music as you pour dried spices and seasonings into a bowl, your face as content as matty feels.

it breaks into a big smile when you see him in the doorway, white dress shirt hugging his chest quite deliciously. “oh! you got changed. i like it.”

“had to keep up with you, didn't i?” matty smiles, wandering into the room and laying a gift bag on the counter. he peers into the pan of potatoes. “thank you for doing this, by the way, darling. means a lot.”

he opens his arms, and you slot into them before they wrap around you tightly, resting your chin on matty's shoulder and smiling. “no one else i'd do it for.”

matty hums happily. “god, i've missed you. you're always a total peach to me. makes me feel good.”

“a peach? you've spent too much time stateside, matty,” you giggle, pulling away just enough to look at him. “thank god you're home for a bit. but thank you, lovely, i'll take the compliment.”

“for once, you'll take one,” matty teases. his face turns slightly more solemn. “yeah, m'glad to be home. it's a shame you won't be at any of the UK shows, though. i always like them more when you're there.”

“well, when hollywood calls, you have to answer,” you shrug, then smirk. “you just want me at the shows so i'll praise your narrative structuring again, don't you?”

matty's eyes close in bliss. “don’t tease, you literally barrelling towards me backstage screaming about midpoints and how proud of me you were is genuinely the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

“oh, shush,” you roll your eyes, suddenly shy.

“i'm serious! it'd be like joan telling you she thought one of your sentences had perfect structure. a writing compliment from you is a gift, darling.”

“well… thank you. and speaking of gifts,” you - with great reluctance - pull away from matty, bending down to grab a wrapped box from your bag. “here. joyeux noël.”

your best friend takes the present from you, murmuring a “thank you” and smiling at the tag addressed to him. he holds it to his ear and shakes the box, eyebrows raising at the slight rattle.

sighing, you roll your eyes. “just open it, matty.”

his face lights up. “alright.”

after carefully peeling the tag from the box and placing it in his pocket, matty tears through the paper and lifts the lid off. he squints at the sides of the smaller plastic boxes inside, before realisation hits and his jaw drops. “this is…”

“cassette recordings of ten blue nile gigs throughout the eighties and nineties, in their entirety,” you finish, smiling. “thought you'd like them.”

“like them? darling, this is- i don't even know what to say, other than thank you,” matty looks at you, awed, and pulls you into another tight hug. “how the fuck did you manage to get them?”

“the guy in one of the record shops i went into in glasgow was selling them. they're his recordings,” you say, half into matty’s neck. “and he'd digitised them, so he didn't need the tapes anymore, and he wanted them to go to someone who'd genuinely use them. remembered you saying you'd bought a tape deck, and i know how much you love that band, so… i kinda had to buy them.”

matty turns his head and presses a kiss onto your temple; while you bite the inside of your cheek to keep from screaming in delight, he speaks again. “you really are one of the best people i know. christ, i'm so overwhelmed by how perfect that present is. i need a drink,” he pulls away and heads to the fridge. “d’you fancy some champagne, darling, before i give you your gift? you might need it, actually.”

“that's not ominous at all,” you quip, then nod. “pour me a glass while i sort the potatoes and get them in the oven, please.”

matty nods, pulling out a bottle of perrier and grabbing glasses to take over to the table, while you drain and pat-dry the potatoes. he hums along to the background music while he fiddles around with the foil covering the champagne cork; you smile, eyes flicking up periodically to look at his cutely confused face, then back down to the food you're currently buttering and seasoning. it's incredibly domestic, a cosy little christmas dinner tableau, so much so that it hurts your heart to think that life isn't always like this for you and matty. and mayhem, obvs, curled up so adorably in his bed that you have to resist awwwwing every time you look at him.

still, it's hard to be melancholy when matty's irritation at the bottle foil is so amusing. you giggle at his grumbling, turning around to look at him scowl once the potatoes are safely in the oven. “need a hand?”

“no thanks, darling, i'm- ok, yeah, please,” matty sighs, leaning back in his chair and stretching. you pretend not to notice the way his shirt rides up and exposes his hip tattoo. “can't find the tab on the foil.”

“hmm, let me see,” you wander to the table and sit beside matty, moving your chair closer to him. well, to the bottle. “ah - that's because there isn't one.”

“well that's fucking stupid. how are you meant to open it?”

you smile, swiping your index nail across the foil; it slices clean through, and you're able to peel the covering off the cork. “like that. these aren't just for aesthetic purposes, you know.”

“that was actually quite hot. let me see them?” matty gently takes your hand in both of his own, admiring the abstract line pattern on your fingernails, tenderly rubbing his thumbs over the gel. “yeah, definitely hot. let me open the champagne from here though, darling, yeah? can't risk these pretty nails being damaged.”

you bite the inside of your cheek again; this time, to stop from giggling flirtily. “have at it, lovely.”

“i like it when you call me that,” matty smiles, grabbing the neck of the bottle in one hand and the cork in the other, and slowly twisting. “makes me feel good.”

“well, you are lovely,” you smile back. “and opening that champagne quite effectively, i must say.”

“learnt from the best,” matty winks. “you're right, though, it's a lot less messy. although i don't mind that, sometimes. s'fun.”

“yeah, me too,” you smirk, glad to be sitting down and not having to worry about your legs caving in at matty and his words. “kinda fun getting it all over your hand, isn't it?”

matty's eyes widen again, and the cork breaks free with a loud pop; before either of you can cringe at or make light of it, though, mayhem jolts awake with a yelp at the sound, and quickly runs over to sit at your feet. 

you coo at him, reaching down to scratch his sweet head and reassure him (and berate his dad). “aww, mayhem. you scared the baby, matty! look at him, he's terrified! s'ok, sweetheart, i'll keep you safe. come on, you can have your christmas present to cheer you up.”

matty rolls his eyes, but he can't keep the smile from his face as he watches his dog eagerly follow you to your bag. “you know, mayhem, you're such a sap, honestly.”

“oi, don't talk about my friend like that,” you frown, face lighting up as you find what you're looking for in your bag. “aha! here you go, mayhem. merry christmas.”

the dog takes the guitar-shaped dog toy with relish, plodding back over to his bed and playing with it contentedly. matty leans to the side to look at mayhem's gift, bursting into laughter when he sees it. “fucking brilliant. that'll be his new favourite, by the way. but you're his favourite, so it checks out, i s'pose.”

“really?”

“oh, he loves you. he never gets so excited to see anyone else,” matty nods, pouring champagne and sliding a glass to you. “bet he'd enjoy seeing more of you. as would i, actually - i really like spending time with you, darling.”

you nod, touched. “so do i,” you raise a glass. “to seeing more of each other next year.”

matty clinks his glass off yours, repeating your words with a soft smile. you take a sip of your respective drinks, humming in satisfaction as the champagne hits your lips. you nod again as you swallow. “christ, that's good.”

“agreed. and now that we've had a drink,” matty puts his glass down, then leans back in his chair and reaches to grab your gift from the counter. he presents it to you with a grin. “merry christmas, darling. save the box til last, yeah?”

“ok. thank you,” you smile sheepishly, opening the bag and pulling out its contents: a notebook, with a pen tucked into the front cover, a book, and a thin, a4-size box. laying them on the table, you inspect each facet of the present in turn, starting with the notebook. “a parker pen? matty, this is beautiful.”

“that one's also kinda a congratulations gift for getting your manuscript in. there's a little message on the inside, too,” comes his reply. 

you flick your gaze up to find him blushing, and it makes you smile even wider. carefully, you lift open the black cover, and find matty's familiar scrawl on the inside: to my favourite writer… this is for the next one. lots of love, matty ♡. a little giggle leaves your lips, and you reach for your friend's hand to squeeze it. “you really are the loveliest, you know.”

“shhh, it's nothing,” matty softly rubs the back of your hand with his thumb. “the next bits are the good ones, really. m'excited to see you react to them.”

“better not keep you waiting, then,” you smile, reaching for the book; you let out a little cry of excitement when you read the title. “on beauty! i haven't read this since i was at uni, my god. thanks, matty, i can't believe you remembered me saying that! oh, this is amazing.”

“open it.”

your head shoots up. “what? why?”

matty smiles. “just do it, please.”

“alright,” you do as requested. when you see what’s on the title page, your jaw drops. “matthew…”

“oh, shit, the full name. am i in trouble?” matty quips, smirking as he takes another sip of champagne.

“no, no, just… you got zadie fucking smith to sign a book for me? with a personal message?” you all but sob, lip quivering, completely overcome. “she's telling me she loves my work? what the fuck?”

“well, she's got good taste.”

“matty,” you wail. “this is the best gift i've ever been given.”

matty giggles. “no it isn't.”

“i'm telling you, it really is.”

“nah,” matty gently tugs the book from your hands and replaces it with the box. “this might be, though. but you need to stop crying before you open it, though, darling. can i just…?”

tenderly, so tenderly, matty takes your face in his hands and uses his thumbs to carefully wipe the tears pooling on your lower lashline. at his touch alone, your breathing starts to regulate; the same can't be said for your heart or brain, which both go haywire at the intimacy of his actions, something not helped by him whispering reassuringly to you. “there you are, darling. you're alright.”

it's not a question, but you nod anyway. “thank you.”

“anytime,” matty lets go of your face and sits back; you miss him as soon as he lets go. “right. now you can open it.”

with a smile, you lift the lid from the box - it falters, though, as soon as you take in the words on the paper in front of you. “these are outlines.”

“yeah, they are. look closer, darling.”

you squint at the paper, a choked noise escaping your lips. “feel free… fuck off. zadie gave you her essay notes?!”

“she did. and told me to give them to you.”

“how?”

“well,” matty grins, shuffling in his seat. “i went to see her and nick while i was in new york, and i asked her to sign the book while i was there. when she found out it was for you… she insisted you have those. printed more off for me and everything. she thinks you're the shit, darling.”

“you're sure she didn't say i was shit?” you hiccup, sliding the box onto the table before your tears hit the paper and picking up your glass for a long drink.

“positive. she only had lovely things to say about you,” matty takes your glass and refills it, beaming at you. “so, yeah. bit of a weird present, i know, but i knew you'd appreciate it.”

you laugh through your tears, wiping your eyes and shuffling your chair next to matty's to hug him. “i really do. and i appreciate you even more. thank you, lovely, you're too good to me.”

“nah, you deserve the best, darling,” matty’s hand comes up to rest on the back of your hair, stroking it gently.

you wallow in the tender moment for a second, before pulling back to smile at him. “m'sorry for crying, christ.”

he shakes his head. “don't worry about it, s'cute. and you still look fit when you cry, so…”

“shut up,” you laugh, shoving his shoulder.

“really, you look perfect,” matty smiles, eyes soft. “m'glad you came over early today. not just because it means we get the good potatoes, but because we get to do this, have a bit of peace before everyone gets here. s'nice. really nice.”

you nod. “it is. thanks for having me. and for the gift.”

he kisses your hand. “anytime. thank you for my gift. and just for being you, i s'pose.”

“it's like you want me to keep crying.”

“well, like i said, you look fit,” matty grins. “but nah, i'll stop. let's have a nice time and get rid of this champagne before everyone else gets here, yeah?”

“sounds like a plan.”

so that's what you do - sit at matty's kitchen table, drinking champagne and watching mayhem playing with his new toy, talking and laughing with your best friend. outside, the snow falls faster and faster, blanketing the garden in pristine white, but it's falling nowhere near as quickly as you are for matty. when the front door goes, you’re actually welcome for the excuse to leave the table, the kitchen, the intense care in those beautiful eyes that threatens to shatter your sanity and perspective.

it's your newly engaged friends, laden with more champagne and christmas crackers. once you've exchanged pleasantries, your friend sends her fiancé into the kitchen with the bags so she can interrogate you. “now why are you here so early? you're a little bit unsteady on your feet… oh my god, did you and matty fuck?”

“no! christ! and keep your fucking voice down,” you hiss, looking back down the hall to make sure the coast is clear. “i came over early to help with dinner. and we opened champagne. that's it.”

her eyes narrow. “but you want to fuck him, don't you?”

you open your mouth to answer, but pause for a split-second too long; she cuts back in again. “oh, you do! well, you should.”

“i don't just want to fuck him, babe,” you sigh, leaning against the cold concrete wall. your brain is screaming at you to shut up, but you can't. “i… like him. in a more-than-platonic way. like in a deep way.”

“so… tell him that.”

you blanch. “today?”

“yes! it's christmas. we've all seen love actually - it's the perfect time!” she quietly claps, beaming. “and you won't see him again until my birthday dinner, so if the revelation goes tits up… you've got two months to get over it.”

“really filling me with confidence here.”

“sorry,” she kisses your cheek. “i just like the thought of the two of you being happy, that's all.”

“i know, it's just-”

“darling?” matty wanders down the hall to you, pulling your friend into a welcoming hug, then turning to face you. “sorry to interrupt, but your timer is going off.”

“oh, thanks, lovely,” you smile at him. “be in in a minute, yeah?”

“alright. looking forward to it,” with a wink, he's gone again.

your friend smiles at him, then turns to you. “he is looking forward to you returning to the same room as him. how interesting!”

“yeah, because it means we all get the roast potatoes i made. that's it.”

“oh, you made those again? amazing,” she nods appreciatively, then looks at you and tilts her head. “he could still just be looking forward to being in close proximity to you again, though. wonder if there's any mistletoe around.”

“shut up, please, i am literally begging.”

she laughs, tucking you under her arm and walking to the kitchen. “alright, i'll leave it be tonight. but i'm just saying - i think you have to seriously consider that matty might want you under his christmas tree this month just as much as you want him under yours.”

“and i think you have to seriously consider that you might be delusional.”

“well, we'll soon find out, i'm sure.”

#mads muses #mads does writing #into the birthday partyverse #christmas75 #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x reader #matty x reader

[grandlinedreams]

Good day/night to you :)

I was wondering if you could write something (headcanons or imagines, whatever you feel like) on how Law, Zoro and Mihawk would react to the one they love telling him that they have been betrayed and abandoned so many times that they struggle to believe that he truly loves them and won't leave them in the future?

Like, they want to believe in him and they love him too but they also don't understand how someone else can really love them more than just as a friend because they've been hurt many times when they believed and trusted others in the past who promised them they wouldn't abandon them just to break that promise

I understand if this is too sad or uncomfortable for you, so no hard feelings if you don't wanna write anything for this! I was thinking like a hurt comfort type of deal but whether you do this request or not, thank you for reading it all and I hope you have a wonderful day/night. Please remember to hydrate, eat something and stretch if you've been sitting for a while!

Hiya!! Again, thank-you so much for your patience, I really do appreciate it! I hope that I can do this justice for you, and that it's okay this is more of a hc style!

[Heads up!: little bit of angst, hurt/comfort, they're good boys!]

Law ㅡ He has his fair share of things in his past that have shaped him and damaged his ability to connect with others, so he understands the want to protect yourself from getting hurt further. He also knows that it takes a lot to be willing to talk about those kinds of things, so he's also proud of you for confiding in him instead of simply pushing it down and bottling it up.

When you tell him that you don't see how he could love you and that you're afraid he'll end up leaving you like those before him, he's quiet for a while as he tries to find what to say. He doesn't want to offer you empty promises, but he also wants to make sure you understand how he feels.

Ultimately he ends up comforting both you and himself because they're words he also needs to hear. "Something happening in the past is not a promise that it'll repeat itself. It's understandable to be wary, but it's also unfair to expect others to act as the ones before them."

He pulls you to him, holding you as close as he can, pressing his face into your hair. "I love you," he says, and that alone is an accomplishment when he doesn't say it so freely, even when he feels it. "And I don't intend on going anywhere."

ㅡ

Zoro ㅡ A little rougher around the edges even though he understands, your confession also comes from a reluctantly shared bottle of sake between the two of you and a night sky full of stars.

In the wake of your words, Zoro is quiet as he absorbs them ㅡ and then he scoffs. "That's stupid."

He doesn't mean that you or your feelings are stupid, but rather that the people before him who'd hurt you are stupid ㅡ to him, that's far from something he sees himself doing or ever wants to do.

He slings an arm around you and dragging you closer, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I'm not goin' anywhere. You're stuck with me."

Zoro is loyal to a fault, you know that ㅡ and that he means what he says. You lean into his side and sigh. "Sounds good to me."

ㅡ

Mihawk ㅡ He's a practical man who doesn't like to beat around the bush or say things he doesn't mean, and he's blunt about it when you tell him that you're worried he'll end up leaving you that if he had any intent of doing that, he already would have.

It's said in a way that makes it hard to parse out whether it's a reassurance or not, but he follows it up by cupping your chin and tipping your head so you look at him properly.

"I don't say things lightly," he tells you, "and if my intentions and feelings towards you were not clear enough, allow me to remedy that."

He's not one for much sentiment, but he is devoted in his own quiet, fierce ways ㅡ and he makes sure you know that.

#ㅡmine. #one piece scenario #one piece x reader #law x reader #zoro x reader #mihawk x reader

[kairiscorner]

Hello🙂 I'm really new to your Blog and I really adored Miguel O'hara so much.. Can You please write something for him and to his Filipina Girlfriend when the Reader let's him meet the her whole Family and they're liked challenged him for a Drinking game to see how serious he was on the Reader.. Thank you so much

HIYA ANON !! welcome to my blog, happy to see you here :>> also same, i adore him too 🛐🛐🛐(when he's not beating up miles 😭) BUT OOOOO I LOVE THAT IDEA !! np, and i hope this is any good >:DD

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

drunk miguel x filipina reader

content warnings! mentions of excessive alcohol intake, if you are uncomfortable with this topic, please don't read any further ^^

"do you really love her?" your cousin asked miguel, who was lurching over on the table, horribly drunk and a little sick of the alcohol he was taking in. you didn't want to see the aftermath of this, you didn't want to know what kind of answer miguel would give despite trusting him so much. it wasn't that you didn't trust him, it was that you had so many horrible experiences with this kind of crap your cousins pulled that you couldn't bear to see it. you tried to get miguel away from them, but he suddenly blurted out his answer.

"i do." he said, his voice slurred and heavy from the drinking. your cousins nodded and agreed sarcastically, which made you question if you were even related to these people. "aren't there better options for you to fall in love with? come on, look at you! surely, you've looked at other people in ways you never looked at our cousin before, no?" they pressed him, eager to hear his response. you couldn't be any more disgusted or angry at their behavior, so you got up and started shouting--shouting at them to leave miguel alone, to leave you alone, to mind their own business as adults because they really didn't seem to get the memo. as you were shouting at them, miguel took your hand, and though he was still hunched over the table, he responded in a weak voice. "never. never have i... wanted anyone... the way i wanted... her." he confessed as he mustered the strength to look up at you with such a genuine expression on his face.

"i... i want nobody else. just you, mahal ko." he said as he looked you in the face and tried smiling, despite the alcohol already bringing him into the sober but dazed stage. he leaned over to kiss your lips, he needed nothing more right now than the feeling of you on him, right here and right now. he's rambling and mumbling, on and on, about how he's dreamed of marrying you, spending the rest of his life with you, maybe having kids with you if you wanted. "i've thought of... of names for them all, mahal..." he went on as he leaned against you, gradually putting his weight down on you. after your cousins realized that, even when drunk, he was pretty much hopelessly in love with you, they lost interest in the game and went back to their own worlds as miguel jumped to the giddy stage as he wrapped his arms around you for a bear hug and kissed you all over your face, as if he was separated from you for a lifetime, when in reality, you were hear the whole time--holding his hand while he drank away everything your cousins gave him.

"i meant every word of it, y'know..." he whispered to you with a slight giggle as he held you closer and squeezed you a little tighter. "they said... 'when drunk, the truth comes out'... they didn't need to make me drunk to... to make me remind them all that... you're all i want." he said as he began running a hand through your hair and chuckling as he fidgeted with a lock of your hair and smiling wider when he saw you smile. "you have such a perfect smile. it's enough to knock me out..." he said as he leaned over to kiss your cheek, and soon, his head fell to your shoulder, almost knocking you down with his size. you called for your other cousins to help you take him to your room, and they teased both of you for how disgustingly sweet you two were with each other.

as you and your cousins plopped him down on your bed, you closed the lights and curled up into the bed next to him. miguel was still a little awake when you snuggled in next to him, so he seized the opportunity to grab you by the waist and pull you in for another hug, calling you all his favorite nicknames for you and complimenting every bit of you as you two lay there on your bed. "i'll love you forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and... ever." he said as he kissed your nose. you placed your hands on either sides of his cheeks and giggled. "and i'll love you forever, and ever, and ever, miggy." you said as you kissed him on his soft, pouty-like lips as he let the alcohol drift him off to the land of sleep in your arms as you hugged him by his waist now, both of you in each other's arms.

a/n: ang himbing ng tulog ng lasing 🥰

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @luvstarrstruck

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x filipino reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #atsv x filipino reader #atsv #atsv imagines #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #atsv miguel #miguel fluff #miguel o'hara fanfiction

[anarmel]

hiya! just wanted to say i ADORE your dnd au for stranger things it is so captivating to see each art piece you've created (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

can i ask if there's any little headcanons or plotlines you'd be willing to share about it? I'd love to hear more but totally understand if not (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠) either way i appreciate the work you do!!!

Thank you for your kind words!(i read ALL tags) And sorry it took me so long I’m bad at writing hope you’re still interested)

I have entirely too much in my head for this AU and it’s ever evolving but I’m dog at writing stuff down because my brain gets like scrambled so I always forget what I want or write down and english is not my native language so my writing is blunt and sometimes i don’t have the right words for concepts i want to communicate and I overall suck at communicating but I do want to share something about this AU with someone who appreciates it so I will try)

This is my continent map and planar map for this AU because every official planar map in DnD is too unnecessary complex for my type of worldbuild:

This table is my basic ideas and info on characters (i change it all the time because I’m inconsistent and have new ideas every week) and I fucking love multiclassing it’s more storytelly

And i have a Pinterest board for this AU with visual clues and inspiration for the characters if you want to get a feel for that take a look: Link

Worldbuilding and character ideas(completely too long wall of text but I attached some old sketches for paragraph breaks):

Worldbuilding portion

I usually don’t like to put racism in my fantasy scenarios but The Empire is based on America with all the colonization and racism and all that so its there (reason: ST has too much themes that are purely American and if you take them out it’s kinda unrecognizable and some characters lose some experiences that effect their characteristic and choices they make. And the world needs to feel violently bigoted and secretive with governments that lie and do terrible things) but don’t look for direct correlation to real events. it’s like heavily inspired by America. i don’t want to erase racism and white supremacy and how it effects most if not all characters.

This Empire is under one of god pantheon(most of the faerunian pantheon with some exceptions). As one if the main worshiped gods that effect the story I chose Torm(the god of duty, loyalty, righteousness, obedience and law) and Bahamut(the dragon god of justice and a subservient deity to Torm). Empires are so greatly represented by dragons: massive gold hoarding uncontrollable and unstoppable and really hard to defeat. And because I want Tiamat dragon cults in the story. The list of allowed worship is limited some gods are outlawed some are just weird to worship and looked down upon. Most gods that are law and order based are great to worship

The Empire came as an expansion of an already existing Empire that represents one pantheon of gods that were at war with the Fey pantheon of gods and mortal rulers are continuing this expansion on mortal plane(even if mortal plane is abandoned and neglected by the gods). During war most Gates that connected Feywild with the Mortal plane were destroyed and in their place “Divine” Gates were built. The War of Establishment ended 200 years ago

The way my gods/worshiper interaction works is not as direct as I’ve seen in other campaigns. Paladins/Clerics get their power through tapping into residual celestial power that is left on mortal plane after calamity battles many ages ago and more advanced Paladins/Clerics can tap into celestial plane directly and it’s very rare for a god to communicate with their worshipers.

Empire general attitude towards different races(fantasy racism part… it’s worldbuilding okay):

Aasimar is the most respected race imbued with the divine blood most of the royals are Aasimar. Highest standing in society

Goliath are historically the giants that are the protectors of the divine. They are given opportunities other races are not. High standing in society

Humans are the basics as always. They have their hand in every pot.Mixed standing in society

Halflings were always a part of the empire. Infantilised in larger society. Mixed standing in society

Anything Fey is perceived as weird and inhuman and often fey magic and creatures are blamed for all manner of mischief and ills, ranging from petty vandalism and theft to outright murder and kidnapping.

But there’s a distinct difference between every elf group

High-elven culture is the one of the biggest ones that was crushed by the empire. Empire is built on elven ruins. Elves that didn’t escape to Feywild earned their keep in the empire by being great merchants because they knew to local surroundings and had established goods production and even with inter planar fey gates destroyed some elves had trade connections in Feywild. Being there from the beginning of the empire given some High Elves really high standing in society and more opportunities to build up their capital but at the cost of abandoning or suppressing their culture. Material plane High elves have purple/pink blood and similar skin under tones medium pointy ears(from living in the material plane for a while) Mostly culturally integrated. Mixed standing in society

Wood Elves mostly come from Beast Lands plane that lays between material plane and the Feywild and when empire conquest reached Feywild they stopped their war expansion on woods and wanted to build more of business relationship with the faerie court and the faerie court doesn’t care about the rogue elf tribes of Beast Lands that are being misplaced because they see the benefits of empire as a reluctant alliance instead of an enemy even if fey believe they could win the war if it comes to that . The Empire use the kidnapped elves as the laborers to build new empire cities across the continent. Wood elves have a distinct green skin undertones, green blood and large pointy leaf-like ears that make a Great War trophy and bringing a few souvenirs a soldier can show of is not that looked down upon. And high elves on large don’t associate with wood elves they are both seen as fey but different in “usefulness” in society. So wood elves have a low standing in the society but it’s slowly starting to change in some parts of the empire

Eladrin native to the Feywild and mostly are not present on the material plane and seen as distant trade partners.

Other elves(astral, aquatic, drow)exist but are not seen inside the empire

Gnomes is the other race that was native to the land the Empire took over they are integrated as the high elves and seen for their innovations and trade. But also they’re infantilised in society of larger races and sometimes are not seen as a full person but as cute creatures who are mostly helpful to bigger races. Mixed standing in society

Dwarfs mostly live underground in stone cities. I like Dragon Age lore for dwarfs so I’m incorporating it. True Dwarfs are not permitted to see the sky and those who do are considered sky walkers and still can serve as merchants of dwarven goods to the surface or can just go live as they want on the surface but they will never be considered true dwarfs and are not permitted in places of under mount worship of the Morndinsamman. They are not a part of the empire even if the mountains are on empire territory. Mostly seen as trade partners

Most of genasi populating empire are mixed. Air and earth genasi are the more accepted. Fire and water are not as much. Mixed status

Different Main Genasi tribes set up close to their respective elemental planar gates but those tribes all really different.

Air genasi mainly have a cloud city surrounding their gate populated by other avians but also have travel tribes that travel on cloud settlements.

Fire genasi are mainly nomadic with some preferring to live in a settlement near their gate it is considered their home base and if a fire genasi was outside it’s tradition to make their way to the gate at least once in their life

Earth genasi mainly have a permanent home under the mountain near their gate the city is populated by some dwarfs and rock gnomes

Water genasi live near their gate that is surrounded by mostly underwater country (enter a fantasy name for Soviet Union here)(?TSAR?) populated by aquatic elves, tortles, merfolk, tritons, simic hybrids and vedalken

Firbolgs are mostly nomadic small tribes and lived close to the fey gates so a lot of them were massacred during the war and there’s not much of them left. Perceived as fey and mostly forgotten because they live outside of cities.

Any half breed is looked down upon. A little anti-miscegenation in the mix to this horrible prejudiced bigoted world(just like the real one)

There’s also magic and class(DnD) discrimination

Any Divine and Radiant magic is praised so most of paladins clerics and monks are thought highly of in society

Any nature magic is looked down upon ether it be too fey of holistic and barbaric in the eyes of the divine

Barbarians if not zealots for the right gods or have right ancestors are barbaric and looked down upon

Sorcerers are usually put through governmental evaluations to find out their levels of danger those who deemed too dangerous go into maximum security prisons or are simply executed,those deemed controllable go into an educational program(less strict prison). Any sorcerer magic can only be used under strict control of a sorcerer’s keeper appointed by government.

Wizards studies and education mostly are behind walls of magistrates that operate separately from other government controlled magic institutes but for the greatness of the Empire. Arcane magic is controlled but not as strictly as sorcery

For Wizards to deepen their studies of magic there’s one option walls of magistrate a separate arm of the government specialized in arcane magics. Arcane magic is controlled but not as strictly as sorcery because it’s considered an intellectual and intelligent magic

Artificers are the inventors and move the world forward. Government gives grants to institutions of artificers for development of weapons and transportation for people without magic and such

Necrotic and blood magic is prohibited and outlawed

Character stuff(most of it is just like a starting position in the story that will never be)

Byers family. I wanted to make Joyce a merchant but then I came up with the idea of them being a grave keeper family for an old eleven graveyard, being just poor in fantasy settings is not enough for stigma they get (the monarchy class system is just too different everyone’s poor but the selected few…well not different at all but I wanted something different and more fantastical).

Joyce after escaping her abusive husband stared working for an old elven lady that owned the graveyard and not having any family of her own she let Joyce and her boys live on the property and when she left the mortal plane she left the graveyard to the Byers family. So in this world there’s a lot of stigma around anything fey but high elves are more integrated into society and Byers family looking over a spooky scary creepy and ancient fey graveyard filled with old dying magical remains can make the family ostracized and it brings a somber tone and a death theme to back up Wills story. Because usually grave keepers task is to make sure the dead stay dead and don’t turn undead. And Will is kind of undead after his stint in the upside down and that is his one more secret from his family and friends (I want a more magical and powers related secret for will to struggle with).

And Jonathan’s first iteration was a Chronurgy Wizard because I wanted to play with the theme of him capturing moments in time (like photos) but more I thought about him he is such a rogue and there’s Phantom Rogue that has an interesting trinkets system that you get by capturing souls of your defeated foes still has the same idea of moments being captured in a still object but Assassin suits too so idk. Maybe I should have made Byers Shadar-Kai instead of High elves. Maybe they as a family need a rewrite???

Hopper’s story is similar to canon grew up in Hawkins moved to a big city (W.D.C) for opportunity. Low standing Goliath have an opportunity to earn status through Arena (gladiator fights). Got married. And after losing his child and divorce he transferred back to his old town with status that earned him a position of chief.

El and Henry are both kalashtar (a compound race created from the union of humanity and renegade spirits from the plane of dreams(limbo)– spirits called quori) with the appearance of astral elves to play into the themes of alienness (E.T. glowing fingers and long glowing ears). A big meteor struck near Fort Hawkins and The Empire researchers stumbled upon a lost child named Henry (astral drifter who only looks young) that possessed powers that they wanted to research and use as potential weapons (like they use ordinary sorcerers). After some years of research Henry showed scientists where they can find more power. A research group with a military support was sent into the Astral plane they returned with several adult war prisoners and the experiments jumped a few levels in cruelty. Most “Main Experiment” children were bred and grown in a lab. Events that happen at the lab resemble what happens in the show. Some sketches of El and Henry I didn’t land yet on design that is set in stone (I don’t like how I draw their quori too literal):

Steve’s family is royalty. His dad is a king of the smallest province named Indwarim with the sit of power being in Fort Hawkins which is still not the biggest town it’s small and underdeveloped and was mostly built to separate the gate to Beast Lands from the Capital it doesn’t even have a “Divine” Gate (gate system that connects main cities of The Empire). The King of Indwarim is not known for spending time in his seat of power leaving it in the hands of his council and expects his son to take over his small province while he gets close to the emperor and climbs the social ladder closer to real seat power (Whitheirion Divine Court).

Steve is fond of all attention and admiration his royal blood and divine blessing brings but all his life he felt inadequate, people respect him for the things that were given to him by birth right and nothing he did or deserve. But who is he to complain about the easy life he lives so he enjoys all the positive attention that he can get and lets people bask in his light even if deep down he knows all they want is a crumb of prestige and power befriending a royal can give, Steve has never met a genuine person in his circles so he assumes that all people are like that everyone plays their part of court theater. Steve has his own masks so he understands them. He always had people around him that tailored him to their expectations and that keep him in check. In social circles he paints a picture of a royal you can find at all the parties that are worth attending with new arm candy every time, all masked in charm and light conversation, all surface no depth, not an intellectual but at least he’s martially gifted. He’s not fit for the system but plays it enough for it to benefit him, he’s not going to stand up to it. He doesn’t know who he is without others making him.

And I want Steve to have some kind of insecurity where he thinks he’s useless without his legendary weapon which is a stolen fey artifact that was claimed by empire and now one of Harrington’s family heirlooms (which Steve doesn’t know for a while) and later in the story he will return it where it belongs because it’s a right thing to do even if it strips him of his additional powers. (Some inspiration characters for D&D!Steve are King Arthur, Stella(Winx), Fjord(CR))

Robin is a miracle child to her older parents. They loved their little girl and given her all that they could while running a small but successful tailoring shop. I did make Robins parents fantasy hippies while well-meaning they appropriate the culture of fey creatures but don’t struggle with the stigma around it since they themselves are not fey and even benefit from it in their business because their designs perceived as exotic and “new”.

At 12 Robin come to realization that something is off about her and there’s things that happen to her that don’t happen to people around her and the desire to find out what’s wrong with her took her to the library and there she stayed studying anything that took her scattered interest. Meanwhile her parents put her into a music studies and Robin even gets to play at royal court a few times.

At 14 she come to the conclusion that she is a changeling a myth a child swap of the fey and since then she felt like she truly doesn’t belong in her family and believes that if her parents found out they would stop loving her and disown her. She keeps up her mask around her parents and doesn’t inform them about her discovery but unknowingly she keeps distancing herself from her parents.

At 17 she requests to go into a new Starcourt research center to start studying magic more seriously and spends most of her time as a scribe and even going on expeditions into the sea and forgetting her musical studies. At the Starcourt she meets prince Steve not for the first time who was sent to the magistrate to “learn humility and to appreciate his divine gifts properly and maybe it will make you more intelligent, Steve” and then it kind of follows the shows events. Some Robin sketches and a design of her parents that I’m not sure about they need to look older I think:

Eddie is a child of a warlock pirate and an elven druid. He’s a tiefling because of his father’s infernal contract that affect him physically.

In his early years he mainly lived with his mother on land with his father’s rare visits but one day his mom just didn’t return home (I want it to be ambiguous did she get into a situation and died or got murdered or raising a tiefling child alone without support in a judgment filled town got to her and she decided to run away from it? who knows? not Eddie that’s for sure and sometimes not knowing is worse especially when you have overactive imagination) Eddie is at home alone for several weeks afraid to leave and sleeps for most of the time to repress hunger. That is the state his father finds him in and has to nurse him back to health and they live on land for a month but living a stable life was never in the cards for Eddie’s dad so he decides that Eddie is mature enough to follow him in his adventures and learn what it means to be a true son of a pirate. His father has an ego and sees Eddie as a continuation of himself and his power but he does love him but never more than himself his freedom or his pursuits. Every time Eddie is trying to bring up his mother his father shuts him down like he doesn’t want to think about whatever happen to her, like she’s not here let’s move on kind of attitude. so no closure there.

When Eddie is around 10 his father goes to visit his brother with Eddie in tow for the first time. The relationship is strenuous but a favor his father asks of Wayne is just to look after Eddie when he’s gone on a big job that will change their lives. His father never returns. Eddie lives with Wayne and he feels like a burden to this man who didn’t even knew he existed several weeks ago. Wayne is a matter of fact battle hardened tough guy that was trying to find his stability after years of service (he was in an expedition to the astral sea among other things he did in the military) Wayne after his years as a sailor was recruited into a government sponsored mercenary group and he mainly joined to lift himself and his brother out of poverty while his brother chose a different path to that same goal. While in service his needs were accommodated but after the system has abandoned him with trauma and not as much money as he was promised. But with that money he got himself a small house in the least developed province of Indwarim on the outskirts of Fort Hawkins in an area named Forest Hills and got himself a job as miner the only job available to him. His settled life gets interrupted by his brother and his grand plans for a better life but this time he doesn’t try to bring him into it all he asks is to take care of his child for a while and that Wayne can do. Even if that while turns to years he’s not that bothered the child is endearing and if both of his parents are not there for him his uncle will step in as a parental figure to the best of his ability.

Oh and for his shaved off horn he has thousands of stories about that and he will NEVER admit that it was him at 13 childishly coming to a conclusion that his horns one of the main reasons he is different and rejected by society he wanted them off he wanted to look more like his uncle he wanted to fit in he wants the snide comments and dirty looks toward their family to stop. But not only was it painful as soon as he saw himself in a mirror he knew he made an awful impulsive mistake. He wants to hide it from Wayne for as long as he can so naturally as soon as Wayne gets home from his night shift he finds out. He sits Eddie down and struggles how to fully communicate to his kid that we are dealt a certain hand in life and we got to play it to its fullest potential and that his uniqueness only makes him that unique and people who don't see it through their prejudices they are the ones that are missing out. Uncle of the year. But Eddie being a kid takes it a little differently and just changes up his tactic of shielding himself. He cranks up his "uniqueness" to a 1000% and to be bigger scarier more attention garbing more repulsive than he is so no one would even try to go after him and his out of fear of consequences. He finds other street kids like him and they form a group power in numbers as they say. Hell Fire is formed.

When Eddie is around 14 years of age and alone at home old associate of his father Reefer Rick appears on their doorstep to inquire about money that his father owns to him and how will he get it when that fucker got himself imprisoned which is the first time Eddie hears the reason for his father’s absence. As Rick is mostly a smuggler and not a distributor he recruits Eddie for his plan to get his money without unnecessary harassment of his uncle and for Eddie to make some gold of his own all and all Rick know the kid and he's scrappy. All Eddie needs to do at first is leave some packages in particular places but if he wants to make more he has to get proactive and get new clients. And Eddie does want more in as he thinks the more gold he can make the more he will help to alleviate Wayne’s burden and Wayne doesn’t even need to know (Wayne will know really soon). And to make the most of his new gig he takes his bard troupe Corroded Coffin to the court as jesters and while entertaining the stuck up upper classes he makes a few sales.

Wheeler family is quite a wealthy family with their father working in some governmental transportation bureau and their mother being a stay at home mom.

Nancy became a small time volunteer agent to The Harpers the faction that she believes is good for the world at 14 as soon as she, by the power of her father's station, was allowed at court to find a husband and just live that court gossip live. Even that young she has her believes in order but she’s still a young girl who wants to live out her girlhood and build a good life for herself but that dream crushes when her best friend disappears under some suspicious circumstances and is presumed dead. Nancy's pursuit for truth takes over her life and she starts uncovering something bigger than court gossip something that she cannot take on alone even if she wishes she could. Armed with a gun that Barbara made for her and her strong principles she falls into a world of governments secretive experiments and what they lead to.

Mike…oh Mike he’s such a hard character for me to nail down. I saw a lot of people making him a paladin and I get that he plays a character that’s a paladin in the show but if I were to give Mike as a character D&D stats charisma is will not be his highest but it’s my opinion. He and Will are still childhood friends they met at the graveyard when Mikes curiosity won over and he’s gone exploring we’re adults said not to and fell into a grave where Will found and rescued him and then they became besties. Mike is situated by his father to work for a house that will help him get into a higher society and he gets to be an errand boy some days. He meets Dustin and Lucas when one of those errands goes sour and after their little adventure he introduces his new friends to Will and they form their little adventuring party

Sinclair's are a family of wood elves which is already hard under rule of the Empire but they make do and father of the family even earned himself a respected position in his hunting guild so they have it better than some but still surrounded by a lot of stigma.

Lucas has gone on some scouting expeditions with his father and likes to explore the forest by himself developing his tracking and hunting skills. One time exploring on his own he noticed smoke and what is smoke without a forest fire and went to investigate. He saw a small dwarf and a big mechanical cat on fire. After Lucas helped to extinguish the Steel Defender he met the dwarf properly he found out his name is Dustin and that the fire was caused by a failed experiment he for some reason ran in the forest. They became fast friends both fascinated by each other’s experiences and lacking any other friendships they gravitated towards each other’s weirdness. When he’s older l would expand on his relationship with Patric who is the most integrated into empire society wood elf Lucas ever met and Patric is kind of his mentor and that’s how his cleric powers find him and Lucas joins the greater divine order. He enjoys his new station and it makes him feel more accepted so he doesn’t understand why his friends have to shut his new side down and make him the bad guy for exploring himself and finding his place in this horrible world. Divine power doesn’t make you a bad person but it’s powerful and most bad people seek power and it’s unfair that Lucas’s new found power diminished by his friends by putting him in the “other” box. His people were one of the most oppressed by divine powers that be and by joining the order he wants some of that power back he didn’t create this situation he’s only trying to survive in society as best as he can and find a better life for himself and everyone he loves. It’s not the power that’s bad it’s the application.

Erica is another one of the characters that is hard to nail down for me. At first I wanted for her to be a druid that pretends to be a cleric and maybe it’s an idea that is still alive but making her rogue/ranger/monk makes more sense to me but it has less narrative I think. Because she as a character has this unearned respect for the empire (based on the quote “You can’t spell America without Erica”) She too seeks acceptance but goes around that really differently to her brother. She’s larger than life boisterous bold and even if she is unwanted she will power through it and insert herself in a place that she thinks she does belong. Fake it till you make it as they say. She’s really protective of her family and will not listen for your negative opinion of her but she will hear it and will try really hard not to internalize it. She’s still a child yet doesn’t show weakness as she supposed to through her hard exterior shell. She’s charismatic and smart beyond her years and has a clever jab for every situation. And it’s no surprise that she has a side gig as a mysterious bounty hunter information gatherer she will get you all information you need on your target and you will never know that job was done by a child (imagine puss in boots in Shrek 2 situation) she has a little bit of a reputation for being efficient and anonymous.

Dustin is half mountain dwarf on his mother’s side half rock gnome on his father’s side. His parents met when his father who works for a wealthy jeweler was send with an expedition to discover precious minerals and gemstones for a supply chain but instead of finding new deposits they stumble upon an undrermount dwarven settlement where they established a business relationship with a local gem carver and Dustin’s father established a relationship with a daughter and an apprentice of said carver. They fell in love and Claudia decided follow her love and live her life on the surface leaving the undermount behind. She is really overwhelmed by the sun and the openness of the space but with support of her husband she has a beautiful time living in Fort Hawkins. Her husband recommends her to his employer as she has unique dwarven expertise and style of making jewelry and working with gems. They make decent money and decide to expand their little family. When their boy is three years of age the father of the family passes away in an unfortunate work incident while visiting a work site a rock slide happens and takes the lives of several workers. Claudia is inconsolable but she puts herself together for well-being of her child. But every year that passes it’s tougher for her to leave the house and she slowly becomes agoraphobic the surface becomes too much without support of her husband she already worked from home and her employer doesn’t care if she is the one making the trek to deliver her product to and request raw material be delivered with the same boy she send. She has unique product and it sells.(I don’t know fully why I made her agoraphobic but the idea of juxtaposition of Dustin’s mom always being at home and available but in an unhealthy and kind of smothering way but always loving and supportive to her child despite their struggles and Steve’s parents that are never home and absent in his life is interesting to me story-wise) Dustin himself is a little engineering genius creating his first fully realized Steel Defender at age 11 despite his intelligence he’s not taken seriously in small artificer circles of Hawkins even by children his own age because not only he’s an uncommon half-breed which grants him a weird standing in society by birth but also he’s of a “small” race and that infantilizes him further so he always striving to prove himself by being the smartest person in every room he’s in which sometimes makes him insufferable and more isolated. That’s until he meets Lucas who is interesting to talk to and who is not afraid to give him shit when he steps out of line.

Mayfield's and Hargrove's. Niel Hargrove is a human noble of province Calafia his family secured most of their power through a secret chromatic dragon worshiping society (a cult) and even there he managed to stand out as Tiamat cults are usually matriarchal and Niel is not that fond of women in power. Even his first wife who is of northern aasimar clan is kind of his prisoner. After her death he took in a second wife, widow of his fallen friend Sam Mayfield, because they all together started an experiment with dragon blood and a child that Susan bore and he needs to see that thru.

Billy is half aasimar which already makes him insecure from birth like he's incomplete and unfinished but still he is superior to so many so why do the unworthy get any power at all when they don't know how to use it and some powers should not exist at all. To enhance his martial prowess his father makes him get dragon blood tattoos and to activate them and enhance his rage he needs to consume more dragon blood and he is hooked on high of that power when it streams through his veins he feels on top of the world. He feels like a King. He deserves to be one.

Max is born and its already a train wreck. Some of dragon blood in her gives her a partially scaly skin but apart from that she still looks human. Her step father tells her about her greater purpose and she goes thru brutal training she is told its to make her stronger but it only making her exhausted bleeding and afraid and from a young age she learns not to share her fears or insecurities as they will be used against her. At 13 her power gets out of control when she unexpectedly got injured in a public space and the whole family is forced to move to not get discovered as blood magic users they lose a lot of material possessions but their noble status is intact but they need to start from scratch in Fort Hawkins. After that incident Max is strictly guarded by her step brother a situation that they are both not happy with. Even before losing control like that she struggled with her powers what they mean for her and how dangerous they are if she does purse them so she pivots into developing a more controlled way to channel them which does not make her family that happy.

Basic Story

It all leads to a battle against The Far Realm (a plane of madness situated very far from the planes of the standard cosmology. This maddening realm was feared for its power to twist unfortunate visitors into gruesome monsters, and it was from here that aberrations came). A plane that Henry discovered through his talent as an Astral Drifter (someone that has traveled the Astral Sea for so long that they have lost track of the amount of time they have spent there. Aging stops in Wildspace, and it is not hard for adventurers to get lost in time during their travels. Astral Drifters have traveled to the far-flung corners of Wildspace to satiate their wanderlust. Along the way, they have crossed paths with everything from petrified gods to unspeakable monsters) So Henry got warped and combined with his quori spirit and declared himself an Aberrant God and as a being of Far Realm he seeks to consume it all and be the only power in the multiverse and he will go about it in a way that will make it final. The Celestial plane is the hardest to penetrate so at first he tried to go thru outskirts planes but it didn't lead anywhere so he found a stable connection to a mortal plane the plane that is the most interconnected with others. Limbo is his weapon. Through the plane of dreams he can influence most beings on mortal plane. He is the voice in the dark. He is the premonition. He is inspiration that comes suddenly out of nowhere. He is the Dream of greatness. He is The Voice Of God.

But mostly it's just the events of the show through a very heavy D&D lens but like with more character exploration and preferably with a more cohesive story but that's just in my head its been my night time story to myself for a while now.

Hope you enjoyed reading thru this shitstorm and I hope it makes some sense)

#ask box #long post #stranger things d&d #stranger things dnd #stranger things #can you believe me when I say I never watched ST #it’s a show that is not for me personally #the shows main theme is nostalgia for the 80’ #and it gets stuck in 80s tropes and doesn’t subvert them #it has decent beginnings of characters but they do nothing with most of them with very selective development and exploration #and Henry is such a boring villain #*oooo* I’m a nihilist and I want to get rid of the world because nothing matters i don't understand his motivation #Henry is just tentacles on elm street #so...boring #and i really dislike the pure evil child who is bad for birth trope #but one day I’ve got to tumbring saw some art of steddie and now I’m in hole the walls are smooth and slippery and I can’t get out #my art

[coexistentialism]

hiya!! i've been questioning if i may be plural for probably a few years on & off now. it's. a really confusing experience. i'm not sure i'll ever be certain of what i'm dealing with. there's so many obstacles. all i can do is hope i'll find some clarity sooner or later

but i just wanted to let u know that i stumbled upon ur post that happened to crop up on my feed about when ur alters aren't Distinct People, and i'm glad i read it, because that post alone resonated with me more than any other post i've seen. i felt seen

a lot of our experiences are really similar based off of what you've described! at my core, i don't really feel like anyone or anything. i mask and pretend a lot & i've hardly ever felt comfortable expressing myself. everything always feels. Wrong. i have different identities too, but it feels more like i'm playing a role than actually being an entirely new person? i'm still always present. i'm still always conscious of what's happening. i'm still very much in control. but the way i feel, my identity & my perception shifts. suddenly i connect more with other names and pronouns and orientations. suddenly i feel i should switch my personality and style to better suit me. suddenly i start to lean more towards different aesthetics and sometimes i'll have different impulses. different things that feel more Me as opposed to before

the thing is that i'm still here. always. using "i" loosely throughout all of this because i honestly don't know who i am & where i start and end, but. i act more or less the same—especially around other people and when masking—but i feel. different. i don't black out and i don't feel a very distinct, solid sense of who i am ever. and these identities aren't really consistent. most of the time it feels like they've just kind of disappeared entirely & won't return. i can't communicate with any of them and don't have a headspace

so i often feel like this experience makes me Not A Singlet but i also feel like i don't belong in this community. i feel like i'm trapped in a grey area. i can't tell if i have DID or if i'm just an abro genderfluid personality shifting littol creacher or if i'm. Faking or tricking myself into believing something i'm not??? safe to say it's super frustrating and weird. i always feel so alienated but!! positivity: reading ur post made me feel secure again, it feels soso comforting to find something i can relate to ^_^

excuse all of my rambling but i want u to feel that relatability and that belonging too. it's invaluable, especially for those with DID & dissociative disorders. i wish u the best. i hope u continue to make progress with urself—all of u individually—and ur system as a whole. know that u are never alone and ur experience with DID is as real as any other.

and i hope lots of other people will feel the same way. i hope, and i'm sure, lots of people read your posts and feel at home. like someone really gets it. sorry for all of my waffling but! genuinely! thank u taking the time to write ur posts, share ur experiences & for being here :3

YEAH YOU GET IT! I don't really have anything to add, but you get it! I'm glad my post helped you and made you feel seen :] And this is all so nice, I appreciate it so much :,D

#inbox #my posts

[vivelarevolution13]

For the ask game ;)

🏜️,❄️,🥐,🌻 aaand 🥤

Hope you are having a good day!

Hiya, thanks for the retaliatory hit! (affectionate) hope you're having a lovely day too :) 🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? Ooh, can I just say any? Kidding, albeit I am very grateful for everyone who takes the time out to comment, even if it's just a string of emojis or something! But I am eternally grateful for long, detailed comments and especially love when people point the things that they related to in my work or things that clicked for them (particularly the ones I thought might be overlooked or alternatively, too heavy-handed to land) or even line up certain things or parallels that didn't fully register to me while I was writing except as a vague ~vibe~. I just appreciate it a whole lot, and it makes the whole exchange feel like a conversation. ❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

Hm, I don't know - I don't think I have one specific dream theme/plot. That said I have been thinking a lot about Red Room/Department X plotlines recently. I really love the throughline of the struggle for identity + shifting ideologies/definitions of what it means to be a good person + autonomy & free will vs. wanting to belong dichotomy in those stories. Especially when it's grounded in interesting dynamics that aren't very black and white (i.e. Nat and the other widows, the handlers, the WS.) That era is also just very interesting to me in terms of real world circumstances and events, and the scifi potential to explore trauma and psychological fuckery in general is endless. So I guess I'd really love something that deals with Natasha's memories as a child + teen in the war and how that shaped her both before the Red Room even got their hands on her, as well as during and after; how she became this kind of mercurial person who is still (maybe surprisingly so) solid at her core. Something a la Name of the Rose, if you've read that run.

As for who I'd like to write it, I am in fact attempting to write something to that effect into my current post-CATWS wip, so I guess me? Not to say I wouldn't love to read something similar by someone else - there have been several fics out there that dealt with Natasha in a way that had me staring into empty space for an hour (in a good way) - just that I enjoy the process of developing ideas like that in my head differently than I do reading about them from another angle, if that makes sense!

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

that vine with the two guys with heavy NY/NJ area accents screaming at a duck. wait no - any patrick william charlton vine where he suddenly acquires a german accent. wait no - the can I PLEASE get a waffle one.

oh man. any one vine really. I'm very nostalgic about vine. 🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

I feel like if I started doing that I'd end up spamming way too many people haha. I do wanna say I very much appreciate everyone I've gotten to interact with and follow during this CATWS10 event and over the past two months I’ve been on here more!

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love Oh, god. GOD. This is so tough, I'm really blanking right now. I've been around for a loong while lol and there are so, so many insane, brilliant ones. It doesn't help that I really haven't read that many in the last few years as much as I've been writing them.

Off the top of my head though, I recently went back to Speranza's All the Angels and the Saints. One of the all-time old school Cap greats. All of their stuff is just wonderful, foundational Steve, Bucky & SteveAndBucky content. Also everything by magdaliny. I don't even know what to say there, except maybe goddamn.

I’ve also been reading a couple Red Room fics that I can’t find right now but that were great, so I’ll have to dig through my old laptop bookmarks and get back to you with a personalized list, hehe 🫡

#sorry this took a second and thanks for indulging me with these again<3 #vostok3-ka #asks #ask game

[thewriterowl]

Hiya owl!

I wanted to reach out because I'm sure you've seen your name come up a few times over all this drama this past weekend. I see your name come up a lot but I'm not sure if anyone has ever come directly to you to ask your perspective. I thought that seemed fair.

The things that seem to come up the most are a racist/xenophobic/prejudiced depiction of Din as a character being portrayed by a Latino man, and a forced heterosexist depiction of Din and Luke's relationship.

I've read some of your fics. I am latinx myself, and I will admit I have been uncomfortable with the way that Din is always portrayed not only as "dominant" but as an aggressor, including in your fics. This has led me to stop reading your fics. Have you ever thought on this before? Have you considered trying to maybe talk to some latinx people outside of your fcircle to make sure that Din isn't being portrayed in a way that makes many latinx people uncomfortable?

And Luke does always seem to be kind of placed into a more submissive role, sort of Grogu's primary caregiver while Din leads and leaves. And he always submits to Din.

I genuinely am trying to ask this graciously, so I'm sorry if any tone comes across as otherwise.

Is this blanket throughout? No. And it's not like it's just your fics. But I thought it was only fair to you to get your perspective.

Hi! Thank you for reaching out to me; you’re actually the first person to reach out directly. I’ve been seeing everything going on, but without someone tagging me or messaging me directly I feel a little weird just shoving myself into the conversation. I do appreciate you reaching out.

I want to put a “spoiler” break here just to make it easier for people scrolling who may or may not want to read further.

I’ve loved dark content for years- not sure what it is about it, if it’s dealing with my own trauma or exploring concepts that I would in no way condone in real life but are still interesting to think about. Probably a pretty even mix, like most other people who read dark content. Like any other trope in fiction, it’s a tool for the brain. In this case, a tool for exploring things that we would have no control over in real life, but in fiction we can.

I understand that fiction does not exist in a vacuum. The stereotypes that western media has put on POC characters, and the impact that has on the real world, won’t just disappear in the blink of an eye. But at the same time I believe in separating the fictional character from the real world person playing them. I would hope most writers would do the same, although I can’t speak for everyone. What I mean by this is when I write fanfic, I’m not thinking of Pedro Pascal the real person. Yes, I might look at other things he’s been in for inspiration, but that’s the same as taking something that a friend said or did and using it as the base for a fictional scene. When I write fanfic, I’m strictly thinking of Din Djarin, fictional character, and putting him into various “what if” scenarios, with certain aspects of the character as he’s written exaggerated. So when I write dark stories, I’m thinking of the part of Din Djarin who cut a man in half when he didn’t need to, who left a man to be eaten alive, who shot at jawas, or who was at least on some level willing to hand Grogu over to an unknown fate for beskar. Those are things he’s done in canon, just as much as him going out of his way to help a village, taking the time to learn the language of the Tuskens in order to safely and respectfully pass through their land, and breaking his creed in order to save Grogu are also things he’s done in canon. Different au settings are going to heighten different aspects of his character. This is true of any and all fictional characters and all that I have written about in the past and probably will in the future. 

This is also based on discussion with other people. I have actually shared conversations in regards to this, to go over comfort, tagging, what it is about dark content, and its impact in regards to a character like Din. I have, honestly, only received support.

In the same vein, I have a similar outlook on the dynamic of a relationship. It genuinely is nothing more than “this is how I’m portraying these two characters, and this is the general relationship dynamic that I’m using for this particular story.”

The way that I write characters, no matter which fandom they’re for, is absolutely never intended to be malicious. I never want anyone to be hurt by my stories. It’s why I use as many tags as I do, so that anyone reading can look at the tags, look at the summary, and decide whether or not it’s something they feel comfortable engaging with. I am also always open to hearing what people think of the tagging system as well (one reason I always tag my asks as “owl inbox” so they can be filtered easier). 

I am, though, always sorry if my writing has ever been uncomfortable. I do not want that. I know I cannot make everyone happy or comfortable and I am trying to accept that, be happy with what I can provide for my own sanity, and be open for discussion. I hope you continue to do what makes you happy and feel better within this community because, all in all, it is a really positive one. People are so passionate and supportive and protective of each other--it can be easy to see it overwhelming and triggering to anxieties (as I know a massive amount to us has) but I honestly see more good in it than anything negative. I also love seeing the wave of soft and fluffy content coming out and the content of dark/sith/top Luke (even if it’s not for me) because I see that as more for more people.

Honestly, I could go on a bit about everything--my first response was nearly 3k words as I panic and just want to explain and reach out and try to avoid hurting anyone if possible. I still don’t know, and I worry, that my thoughts and everything will be understood. But with help got it cut down in hopes that it helps answer the questions you provided, anon. I don’t know if it helped or cleared anything but I hope it did some.

#owl inbox

[wolfmoonmusic]

Hiya! First of all, I LOVE your posts! And you really can be soo proud of yourself for 50 followers♡

I'd love to take Part at your 50 followers celebration, and request a ship with someone from the marauders era.

My name is Kiana, and I'm kinda introverted, but if someone seems nice to me, and we get alone I open up pretty quickly. I'm cis female, pronouns are she/her and I'm pansexual. I'm proudly a ravenclaw and live up to the cliché by being creative and a little bit of a know-it-all, and loving to learn new things. Most if my friends are slytherins, wich also affects me a bit by being comfortable with students of this house. I would absolutely never use an unforgivable curse on any living being. In my dr I'm James' little sister, so preferbly I would not be shipped with him tho. I love fantasy books more than people, and I spend way too much money in bookshops and then read the book like one chapter and then leave it for like a month. My patronous is a kingfisher and I have a horrible sleep rhythm.

I hope this is enough information, and not too messy.

Keep up the good work and have a nice day,

☆Kiana☆

PS: sending a virtual hug to you♡

Hiiiii

Omg hug received and reciprocated! Thank youu!!

I was debating for who to ship you with and had to get some expert help from a bestie @darthkitten (yes he insisted i credit him) 'cause I didn't wanna mess it up y'know?

Anyways, I appreciate you telling me no James 'cause he's the first person that popped into mind, you just seem so alike!

Setting Sail:

I ship you with:

Regulus Black

You're James's little sister, in the same year as Regulus and met during the sorting ceremony, when both of your older brothers decided to introduce you two. Although, back then you were hiding behind James most of the time.

Now, you can't stay away from each other. You go to all of his quidditch games, however when it's Slytherin against Ravenclaw, a bit of friendly competition arises between you both.

At first, you both decided to keep your relationship a secret, not knowing how your brothers would react. Though, it's of no use because both of them know something's up and it's no long before Sirius catches the both of you kissing. James doesn't threaten Reggie though, Sirius does that enough for the both of them. Your brother however, just tells you he's happy for you (while glaring at Reggie of course)

On Valentine's:

Slytherin's team won, and you're currently ignoring Regulus.

"Loveeee, I had too!," he says, wrapping his arms around you from behind. You shake your head struggling to keep the smile off your face.

But then suddenly, he's pulled away and disappears before you can turn around, making you worry. Had you hurt his feelings?

However he's back within seconds, a bouquet and chocolates in hand, and you're a blushing mess. "You know I also won because now, I don't have to listen to captain's speech, and we've got the rest of the day to ourselves," he grinned.

You throw your arms around him. How could you mad at such a sweetheart?

He kisses the side of your head. "You're not mad anymore?" he asks, laughing slightly.

You shake your head, "It's kind of difficult when you've got THAT face," you say, taking the flowers and the chocolates.

"Oh it's just the face is it?" He asks teasing.

"Yes, yes it is Reggie," you respond matter-of-factly.

He laughs, gathering you in his arms again, kissing your forehead. "I love you Kiana Potter," he whispers.

You smile into his shoulder, "I love you too Regulus Black."

A/N: Hope you like it! Have an amazing day!

#50 followers #regulus black #marauders #regulus x reader #regulus black x reader #james potter x sister!reader #valentine's day

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Hiya, I wrote quite a few times over the years, especially since your writing is something that feels warm and comforting to me. reading some of your older works makes me feel 15 again in quite a bittersweet nostalgic way but a welcomed one nonetheless. I spent many many months VERY sick this year and now that I’m getting back on track, I’m scared of something happening again. It is late night where I live and I stumbled upon a screenshot I have saved in my camera roll favorites, it’s a quote from one of the APTCH time stamps - “"Because sometimes what we think we want isn't what we need and we wind up with exactly what we needed in the First place. Life works in very odd ways sometimes." - I go back to this quote from time to time, and I did particularly in the many months I was sick, since I had to completely change my life and my career and all my projects and ambitions - alongside my normalcy - had been thrown out the window. I don’t know if you’ve read it somewhere of if you came up with it on your own but I find it beautiful, especially in the context you put it into. APTCH is definitely one of your fics that brings me comfort the most - I mean, who isn’t a sucker for comforting dad!jensen?!?! - anyways yeah, it’s late here, I’m nostalgic as hell as I’m about to start a new chapter in my life and once again i find myself looking for comfort in your familiar works. You don’t have to reply to this if you don’t want to but I’m writing what my thoughts and feelings are right now because you NEED TO KNOW how appreciated and loved you are even from so far on the other side of the ocean! because it is true. you’ve been bringing comfort to this little 15 year old Italian girl (not so 15 on the outside anymore lol) for years now and as silly and cheesy as it might sound, your work has kept me going even in my lowest and darkest moments. Even tho I have to say, what seemed so bad back then is not as bad now. As you grow and become an adult, you realize that you shouldn’t take anything for granted and that you life can be flipped upside down any moment ( in both a good or a bad way - as it was the latter for me just at the start of the year). Again yeah, you don’t have to reply to this long as message if you don’t feel like it but fuck, you’re so appreciated. I’ve been “growing up” with your fics and I feel silly to say this but I fear the day you’ll stop posting. I’LL SHUT UP NOW - I just needed to spill out, once again, how fucking appreciated you are. I hope I didn’t make any grammar mistakes, I apologize if there were any. I’ll sign with my name for once, - Fran , or 💙

Aw, well first off, thank you for such an endearing message! Always nice to wrap up a Monday on a good note! It means so much that you've found comfort in my stories. Honestly, that's why I keep sharing, especially APTCH. Escapism is entirely necessary, especially these days!

I came up with that quote on my own and it's something I try to live by, certainly as I grow older. Life doesn't go exactly where you expect (I mean, none of us were expecting a freaking pandemic were we?) but it teaches us to let go of the small stuff along the way too which is necessary. I plan on being around for quite awhile so don't be worried about me going anywhere!

[trkstrnd]

hiya. wanted to pop in after i read ur rant post, i hope that's ok.

i agree with what you've said, and personally for me, after i knew That had happened, what had kept me sane was that deep down, i knew carlos would never do this, it is so out of left field, and this is just a shitty plot point the writers pulled out their asses in the s4 writers room (if they kept insisting that they thought of this since s1, they're going to have to try harder, and even then, i'm not sure i would believe them.) for the sake of drama. they know having a wedding planning arc throughout this season doesn't make for good drama, so what do they do? add in this shitty plot to impede their wedding planning.

what really kills me is, in the process of this, it might have undermined carlos' entire character arc in the previous seasons. it really hurts. i don't hate him at all, i understand completely where he's coming from. what i hate is carlos' as a character (in canon at least) suffers as a direct result of the showrunner and writers' shitty plotting and writing (i think this post makes a damn good point of what i'm trying to say,) and i hate how there's nothing we can do in the face of this. i feel helpless, and it hurts to see them go down this route for the sake of 'good drama', whatever the hell they think it means. clearly the writers and the fandom as a whole have wildly different understanding of things, as clearly shown in the interviews they've done so far.

which is why, i'm willing to wait it out and see how this unfolds, even though from the snippets i've read re: the upcoming eps, i think it will piss me off and probably the fandom as a whole. at the end of the day, as the eps start airing and we slowly move past it, i think we can easily choose to take away whatever we want to from this arc, and shove the rest down in a deep, deep drawer where i personally would never revisit again.

it just really sucks for now bc we only have one ep of information to work with, and 5-6 more days to wait until the next ep. i really do appreciate posts of ppl reminding us of how they've handled previous bad arcs (tk relapsing, the breakup, gwyn's death, etc., you get the drill) that have turned out to be phenomenal in hindsight, and i'm clinging to this until the eps start airing, and we get a more coherent picture. until then, we only have each other to discuss and perhaps rant to, to try to make sense of it all.

sorry for the rant, and thank u for reading this all the way through. sending u love in the meantime, and i know we'll get through this with time.

anon i mean this with everything in my body and soul and heart.

you summed it up perfectly.

we know it’s a bad plot, and we know we will move past it, and i really think the thing that hurts the most is it does really taint their entire story so far, knowing he had this all along, but i am hoping and praying that we get more, better plot in the next few episodes, and hopefully we can shove this down and forget it ever existed.

the disconnect between these writers and the fandom is insane, though. that’s what’s getting me. it’s like tim genuinely likes making us upset. remember when his twitter handle was cancelledagain? it’s like he doesn’t care about his own show, and the real drama for him is watching us all react and hate him for the plots he pulls out of his ass.

it’s so out of left field, and it fucks with everything we’ve known so far, and that’s why i see a bunch of people giving up on this plot and show, because it feels like we have been lied to the past few years as well.

even though we haven’t. it wasn’t the truth until he sat down and wrote it in. it’s fucking dumb, and surviving on 43 minutes a week with a plot like this is exhausting.

thank you so much. please never hesitate to dm me, anon. this ask was so very appreciated.

#911 lone star #carlos reyes #tk strand #trick talks lone star #trick answers asks #trick loves their anons #ask #answer #asks #answers #answered #ls s4 #911ls #tarlos

[larrydoinglaundry]

hiya, just poping in to say i hope you're not giving too much weight on what you see on twitter; imo it's most often a mistake to venture there. Coming back to the topic of fics rec, i've rarely used them myself. I've always used the tag systems on ao3 to find my fics and the fics recs i came across here on tumblr are just bonus. And call me an optimistic but I like to think many people do so. After all if me and you do, we can't be the only ones can we? I mean there's something called a silent majority (thinking of an expression in my mother language here, no idea if it translates the same in english) and we tend to focus on the louder people which are sadly, rarely the smartest nor nicest. I guess what i'm trying to say is, your works are lovely and it'd be a shame if some people's lazyness (to search properly) and the consequent lack of visibility you feel it's giving your stories discouraged you. First, because no matter how many, there's still people seeing, reading and enjoying your fics and also even though people are still going to discover your work; readers using the tags system are people stumbling upon it through tumblr... Anyway i'm rambling. In the end the most important is that you have fun doing what you're doing. If writing takes too much of your time or energy, it'd make sense if you'd wanna stop. Just wanted to try and offer some perspective, but mostly support. Do what feels the best for you to keep having an enjoyable experience and in any case, thank you for what you've shared with us already <3

First of all, thank you for all these kinds words, nonnie <3

I ventured to twitter after someone told me my fic is being discussed and I was too curious to see. I mean they were nice about it, but I was dumb enough to stay around, and I saw the general tone of discussion with fanfics they have and boi am I disappointed. And sad, tbh. The way they treat authors and how they feel qualified to give "constructive criticism" is absolutely ridiculous. A friend of mine said it,,, what twitter is doing is not constructive, it's destructive.

I always try to go by Wentworth Miller quote: "If what I do resonates with no one, that's fine. If what I do resonates with one person; beautiful."

But sometimes it's just a little hard. Thank you though, I highly appreciate your words.

#fanfic nonnie #on fanfiction

[gogglecannon]

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY TO THE BLUE RUNNIN’ BOY!!

#Sonic the Hedgehog #Sonic 30th #Sonic Anniversary #Classic Sonic #StH #AAAAAAAA FINALLY!! I'M SO HAPPY I FINISHED IT #I'm normally afraid to really render anything like this #because I'm not confident in my ability to really do that #I started blending modern's cheek in a 'just to see what happens' kinda moment #And I really liked what I did! And then I thought 'aw hell I'm going to have to do the rest now aren't I' #I struggled a lot and was very close to quitting several times #but I stuck with it and I'm so so so sooooo happy with the end result #if you've read all these. hiya! and thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to look at my drawing and all #I love sonic so much #I hope he goes strong for another 30 years and then some #goggyart

[rheallsim]

Hiya! Thank you for making such a comprehensive organizational guide. I’ve been excited to try it out since I found it. I just wanted to ask if you had any estimate how long it takes to process files with SortCasAHK? You mentioned a bug where it gets stuck at File 1 of X and I wanna make sure it’s ACTUALLY stuck there or I’m being impatient. If you don’t know that’s a-okay, just know how much I appreciate your help with organizing in the first place!

Heya!! I'm so glad you've found the guide helpful! I keep wondering if there are ways I can make it better, so I really appreciate your feedback. 🥰

As for the SortCasAHK utility, it should start working pretty much right away, with no delay. It should open CASTools, then immediately open a file, and then start editing the numbers.

If it doesn't do this, and it freezes on "File 1 of X" or whatever, this seems to mean that the screen coordinates the AHK file is using doesn't work for your setup; it's not actually clicking on the things it's supposed to click on, so it'll click on a blank space, then nothing will happen, and it will hang there.

How I would approach this problem, is: Is there any way I can make my screen resolution/setup work with the existing AHK? Read over the original post and all the information on what screen resolution you should be using, where your taskbar should be, etc., as all this would affect the pixel coordinates of the input fields and buttons in CASTools. Maybe check some of your personalization settings to see if any changes you've made, either to text-size or window size or what have you, are also affecting where things might be placed.

Here's a link to a full-screen screenshot of my screen when CASTools is open; if the placement of the important CASTools buttons/input fields on your screen correspond exactly with mine, the SortCasAHK should work fine! (Important buttons/input fields: The Select Package "Select" button at the top, the "Order in CAS" input field on the right, the "Commit Changes", and "Save Package" buttons at the bottom.)

You can check if they correspond by taking a screenshot of your own setup (CASTools in fullscreen) and overlay them in an image editing program to see how they line up.

If all that fails, you might have to edit the pixel coordinates in the AHK file yourself to make sure they actually click where they're supposed to. This is something I can't help much with right now, though I might do some research and see if I can't work it out and figure out a tutorial on how to do this… since incorrect pixel coordinates seems to be the most common error people have!

But yeah, getting back to your original question: The AHK file does have some delays coded into it, specifically to allow your computer time to process and open files and such before it continues, but it shouldn't take more than a few seconds to process each file; depending on the speed of your computer and the size of the file, of course.

If I'm sorting hundreds of CC in one go, it might take more than 20 minutes. It does take some time to work, but each file should only be a few seconds each.

If you have any more questions, please let me know! <3 Take care, and good luck!

#ask #imadethisforthesimscc #Rheall Replies #Organized Custom Content Masterlist #SortCasAHK by Barteke22

[kirisunshine-ejirou]

Hiya! We've never talked before, but I love ur blog all the bnha posts you rb! :) And SINCE I saw recently that you've gotten into Banana Fish too, brace urself for these asks :D 1 Fandom : Banana Fish 2 Ship : Asheiji 3 Character : Eiji Okumura Hope you're having a lovely day! 💕

Aww, you’re so sweet! I actually watched Banana Fish a few months ago, but I recently re-watched it with my sister (and ripped my heart out again in the process), so that’s why I’ve been posting more about it lately!. Anyway, thank you for sending me the ask! :) Here are my answers:

001 | Fandom: Banana Fish

Favorite character: Honestly, as much as I love Eiji, it’s gotta be Ash. I will never stop grieving for him, and I appreciate the complexity of his character.

Least Favorite character: Yikes, there’s so many assholes in this show. I’m gonna go with Abraham for creating Banana Fish and then being a weak little bitch about it when shit hits the fan, and for hurting Shorter. Eduardo is also SCUM.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): I’m not sure if I could come up with 5 ships for this show…Asheiji for sure. Also Max + Jessica.

Character I find most attractive: Ash

Character I would marry: Blanca (hahaha, he’s well-read, attractive, mature, and cares for Ash despite the circumstances they’re both in)

Character I would be best friends with: I wanna be friends with Cain!

A random thought: Cain is such an underrated character! At least, I don’t hear much about him within the fandom. Sing is also a precious bby.

An unpopular opinion: Ash’s full name sounds kinda ugly? Like I love the meaning behind it, but Aslan Jade Callenreese is a bit much.

My Canon OTP: Asheiji

My Non-canon OTP: Don’t really have any.

Most Badass Character: It’s pretty much a tie between Ash and Blanca, but I guess I’d have to pick Blanca since he taught Ash.

Most Epic Villain: Dino. I wouldn’t call him “epic,” but his evil is an evil that’s not so in-your-face, but that still permeates the entire series (Please read @softasheijis‘s analysis of this, it’s great! Linked here: https://kirisunshine-ejirou.tumblr.com/post/183846304436/softasheijis-takes-a-long-sip-of-hot-tea-dino)

Pairing I am not a fan of: Hm. I don’t know of many pairings in the fandom, but Ash + anyone other than Eiji just isn’t right, hahaha. Also Blanca + Yut-Lung is gross b/c of the age thing.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Some characters may be screwed up in the head, but other than that, no one.

Favourite Friendship: Shorter + Ash!

Character I most identify with: Ash. I have never experienced any kind of trauma to that comes anywhere near to what Ash had to endure, but I identify with the difficulty he had with believing he’s someone worthy to be loved. I’ve got low self-esteem and it can really get to me at times :/ I also don’t tend to trust people very easily.

Character I wish I could be: Hmm, well, I don’t think I’d want the tragic life that comes with being any of the characters…but if I had to choose I guess it would be Yut-Lung so I could have his wardrobe, lol.

002 | Ship: Asheiji

When I started shipping them: Honestly - the pole vaulting scene - I knew they were a ship from what I heard about the show before watching it, so my love of their connection was instantaneous. More realistically - that tender moment in Ep. 11 when Eiji promises Ash that he’ll stay by his side, even if the rest of the world turns on him. (God, I’m almost crying just writing this).

My thoughts: This is one of my all-time favorite ships  because the dynamic between the characters and what could have been between them sticks out for me. They deserved better.

What makes me happy about them: Their trust. They would give their lives for each other, and even though this turns out to get them both in a lot of trouble, it comforts me to think that Ash found someone he could rely on after 17 years of hell. Also, the fact that they can both be themselves in the relationship; as Max said, Ash found someone he can finally act his age around, unguarded.

What makes me sad about them: Ash will never get to go to Japan with Eiji :’(

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Making them suffer any more than they already have.

Things I look for in fanfic: More fluff/hugs/domestic content

My wishlist: I don’t really understand this question? I wish for them to be happy. That is all.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: There’s just no other non-platonic pairing for either of them that I can think of.

My happily ever after for them: Ash goes to the library after being stabbed, but calls himself an ambulance, or Max, or anyone who could get him to the hospital, recovers, then meets up with Eiji in Japan where they live a happy, simple life together (as much as possible, ik Ash still has a ton of shit he needs to sort through.)

003 | Character: Eiji

How I feel about this character: His pureness always makes me smile, but he’s also got some spunk! Lol, as in, he teases Ash and isn’t afraid of him (the pumpkin thing, being able to wake Ash up when everyone else is terrified, throwing Ash in the shower, etc.) and he also becomes more able to defend himself as the show progresses; first he goes to Chinatown to find Shorter wearing that ridiculous outfit, then he holds Yut-lung hostage (kinda) and (tries) to shoot Dino. Bless him.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Ash

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: I love his interactions with Bones and Kong!

My unpopular opinion about this character: Not sure if this is “unpopular,” but I’ve heard some stuff about Eiji being more “edgy” (haha, see what I did there) in the manga, so I’d like to see more of that play out in the anime, to give him a little more nuanced character.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish we could’ve got more background info on him. Like we know that he’s a former pole-vaulter and that he has a little sister, but not much more than that. I think one of the side stories of the manga has this content though!

Favorite friendship for this character: Eiji & Shorter! Shorter was so protective of Eiji during their limited time together, and I would have loved to see more Ash - Eiji - Shorter friendship interactions.

My crossover ship: Hm, can’t think of any at the moment!

Sorry some of my answers aren’t the most straightforward, haha. Also, @silverquillsideas I just wanted to say, your blog theme is gorgeous, and even though I follow you, I don’t think I’ve seen any of your Banana Fish art/fics until now (I just reblogged an asheiji work of yours!), but I’ll be sure to look out for more :) Hope your day has been great; see you around!

#ask #personal #banana fish #asheiji

[epsilon-church]

hiya? as a bisexual person whos been following u for a lil while now, please do not take this the wrong way but a lot of what you've said about bi hcs overall isn't true? maybe that's just what you've seen in the rvb community, but as someone who has been on tumblr since 2011 and been in fandom longer -- bi hcs are not treated as "better representation" or anything like that and gay hcs aren't grouped in w/ het ones or treated as the norm. in fact if anything, ive seen more bi hcs be grouped - -

–overall, in my opinion bi people esp bi hcs are usually going to be treated as lesser or inferior to gay hcs! if i had a dollar for everytime i saw “oh all of the ladies in this thing are lesbians sorry i dont make the rules” posts but saw hate for “oh everyone in this thing are bi sorry i dont make the rules” posts i could probably afford college! anyways, my “too long didnt read” of this is i think you have ideas on how bisexual ppl are treated in fandoms that, to a LOT of bi people —-probably arent true! im not saying thats ur fault, just that bisexuals face a LOT of biphobia in fandoms. so yeah!!! i have no idea whats going on or what has caused this discourse but as a Certified Bisexual i wanted to let u kno my two cents on the stuff you’ve been saying!

hey!! thank you so much for this, i always appreciate seeing other perspectives and being told when/where im getting something wrong!

these are really good points and im sorry for letting my own experiences w homophobia in fandoms (which ofc as a gay id experience a lot more of than biphobia and be more aware of if that makes sense) blind me to other issues

i think both are really big problems (that exist at the same time i think? or at different places, etc) and im sorry for only focusing on one. i. forgot my train of thought but yeah thanks again and hopefully i can address all issues in the future instead of. whatever the hell i was doing yesterday

#asks #i just woke up i hope to god these sound okay #tbh i was getting pretty focused on the backlash ive seen personally around gay hcs that i wasnt focusing on the That Exists For Everyone #and while i still feel strongly about the homophobia in fan bases i cant Only focus on it or bring bi/pan ppl into it #reply #actual discourse #sorry i trailed off at the end but whoops im sleepy #Anonymous