#if you haven't been institutionalized

[catboys4recovery]

"grippy sock vacation" "omw to the loony bin" "haha i need a lobotomy" SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!! SHUT! THE! FUCK! UP! IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN FORCED INTO THE HELL THAT IS A PSYCHIATRIC WARD THEN FUCKING QUIT MAKING FUN OF US AND OUR PAIN!!! THAT SHIT IS TRAUMATIZING! IT'S WORSE THAN PRISON! DISABLED PEOPLE HAVING OUR AUTONOMY AND IDENTITY STRIPPED FROM US IS NOT A GOOD SUBJECT FOR YOUR UWU DARK HUMOR YOU ABLEIST SHIT

#not positivity #for the record idc if you have a mental illness #if you haven't been institutionalized #it's ableist to make jokes about it #period #mad liberation #mad pride #psych survivor #troubled teen industry

[re-lmayer]

i've found myself in a bad situation. the tl;dr is i have to move, but i can't afford to. i'm a disabled student and just do not have the funds required to rent a truck, hire movers, and cover deposits. so, i'm offering various services on my kofi, but if you don't need those you can also donate there or via paypal. my cashapp and venmo are both erinshelley91 if you'd like to donate on those platforms (i couldn't figure out how to link to those)

if you can't afford to commission me or to donate, reblogging this post and sharing my twitter thread is a free way to help me out and is so appreciated!

more context and stuff under the cut, i just don't want to make a long post on ppl's dashboards

my landlord has been cheating on his husband, and their relationship is rocky. he also has a massive spending addiction according to his husband. his spending addiction is making him not want to perform the actual duties of a landlord, because investment costs are cutting into his shopping spree funds

ex, he is illegally not fixing a leak in the shower of the upstairs tenants, and claims the costs are more than their rent. he told them to "figure it out, or get the fuck out." (verbatim.) he also told me it would be cheaper for him to not have tenants at all bc his utility bills would be smaller. he then left it to ME to inform another tenant to leave (then gaslit me and denied it in front of his husband when his husband questioned it)

in his words, we have 90 days to leave. i am disabled and a full time student and have been living on my fafsa returns, and the last job i had made one of my disabilities worse to the point i've had intensive physical therapy (several hours several times a week) and am likely going to have to undergo surgery

i'm also mi/nd, so even on a good day i'm not very well equipped to handle things, and the recent stress has also caused my therapist to see me several times a week in lieu of institutionalization

all that said, i'm not in a good spot physically or mentally, hence the best i can do right now is offer some of my skills on kofi

i'm currently working with my state's vocational rehab to try and find a suitable job until i can get my degree, but even then i simply would not be able to afford the costs of a sudden move in the timeframe i've got to work with

UPDATE MARCH 25, 2024: i want to invest in a scooter to do gig work like doordash. this will let me work at my own pace, and earn towards the move myself, then i'll have some more independence to continue doing that after as well

they require 50cc or under, which means i could get a scooter for under $1,000. i'd also need to cover fees to renew my license (i let it lapse since i haven't had a vehicle), get a helmet, and get insurance (roughly $100 annually)

i also made some amazon wishlists for folks who would like to help but prefer to know exactly where their money's going. i have one for housewarming stuff here, and one for necessities here

update as of april 5: my cat peed on my bed, and since it's a memory foam mattress it soaked all the way through and ruined it

update as of april 7: she did it again. this time there's blood in it

update as of april 14: i still haven't been able to take her to the vet, but i've been trying to do at home remedies

[d0g0r0t]

Happy birthday Toby <3

In honor of Toby's birthday I'mma put all the things ive wrote about this man cause you not. And all in order cuz I h8 myself ig

When Toby got Institutionalized

When Toby got Institutionalized Pt2

When Toby got Institutionalized Pt3

Dating Toby Hcs

The Final Girl x Toby

Toby Fluff Hcs

Toby Angst Hcs

Toby x Motherly Lover

Dad Toby x Pregnant Reader

Meeting Toby for the First Time

Comforting Toby after Outbursts

Toby x Gyaru Reader

Toby x Chubby Reader

NSFW

_______________________________

Toby x Caring Reader

Yandera Toby

Toby NSFW Hcs

Toby x Virgin Reader

___________________________________________

Art by Tasteless_case

Hi guys :) I'm so sorry I haven't been posting or online but I've been doing alot of stuff and the school year is coming to an end and I'm getting my shit together. But once I get things figured I promise I'll be posting and doing ur guys requests <3

#creepypasta #x reader #ticci toby #toby rogers #ticci toby x reader #crp #slenderman #creepypasta x reader

[caspers-delusions]

Psych Whump Masterlist

💉💉💉

This is going to be my go-to list every time I find something with medical or psych whump in it that I want to remember. I'll reblog it frequently and try to keep it updated but it's going to start small because good psych whump is so hard to find. (This in no way endorses medical abuse, I'm a mentally ill individual but I love consuming psych whump in media. Just about everything in these movies, books, etc are at the very least morally gray so consume at your own risk. Also, I only enjoy these things in fiction. Irl it makes me sick to my stomach, I know bc I've experienced some of this.) I'll try to add trigger warnings for each one but I might miss some so I apologize in advance. If you have any recommendations please message me! I'm scouring the internet for good psych whump but medical/sickfic whump is also wanted.

Movies:

A Cure For Wellness: Guy gets tricked into becoming a patient at a "resort" that's really a mental hospital in disguise that uses its patients for nefarious means. CW: incest, medical abuse, teeth falling out, sexual assault, some weird eel shit ^^There's probably more but I haven't watched the film in a while.

TV Shows:

Moon Knight: Whole season of psych whump, the main character has DID and loads of past trauma. Has a huge ancient Egypt theme and the MC gets (kind of) forced to accept psychiatric care. CW: lots of ableism, mental break, psychotic episodes, forced institutionalisation, child abuse, restraints

Gute Zeiten, schlechte Zeiten: German soap that's been running since 1992. The specific episodes that have good psych whump are from 26.5.2017 to 01.06.2017. Extremely hard to find online, only some clips/gifs exist as of now that are easily viewable.

Perception: Schizophrenic professor who teaches at a university spirals and gets put in a mental hospital. He has a caretaker friend who helps him and the professor also sees hallucinations of an ex-girlfriend who helps him solves mysteries. CW: extremely inaccurate portrayal of schizophrenia, delusions, paranoia, and really any mental illness for that matter; lots of ableism, I think I remember one character calling the professor a freak, people treat him really badly

Books:

House of Leaves: This book is a fever trip but the MC (kind of?? The book has multiple authors, it's honestly very confusing but it's great) suffers from declining mental health and spirals hard. CW: child abuse, lots of sexual content, mentions of a caretaker beating a child, mentions/delusions of sexual assault, death of a dog (it was brutal, huge warning), mentions/descriptions of suicide and attempted murder

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: This is chock-full of psych and medical whump, it all takes place in a psychiatric hospital (I've actually been to the one in the film! -Not as a patient) CW: huge amounts of abuse from staff, doctors, nurses, there's also a scene where SA is implied on a patient, the MC is there after being convicted of SA'ing a minor and he's pretty unremorseful (the MC is a dick though anyways), racism, ableism

OG Works (not mine):

Redwood Psychiatric Insitute: Forced institutionalization, great read and it has just about every trope I look for in fics all packed into one series. Please give it a read, it's fantastic. Source - https://www.tumblr.com/only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are/706656298337435648/redwood-psychiatric-institute-masterlist?source=share by @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are

Fanfiction:

Into Your Arms: This is a Star Trek fanfic that follows a girl who has a severe eating disorder and mental illness. It's not the normal kind of sickfic or psych whump I go for but the aftercare in this is topnotch. Source - https://archiveofourown.org/works/15185897 by moose-misses-sweets on ao3 CW: suicide attempt, severe eating disorder, abusive partner, cutting/self harm

Summarized List

Movies: 1. A Cure For Wellness TV Shows: 1. Moon Knight 2. Gute Zeiten, schlechte Zeiten 3. Perception Books: 1. House of Leaves 2. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest OG Works (not mine): 1. Redwood Psychiatric Institute Fanfics: 1. Into Your Arms

Note: If something you made is on this list and you want me to remove it, please message me and I will. I don't check messages very often but it doesn't mean I'm ignoring you, I just forget I have a tumblr sometimes.) *Extra note: this was originally posted on my side blog @ennead-of-whump but I'm slowly integrating that blog into this one. I'm now only going to be using my main blog @caspers-delusions which means I'm only going to update this masterlist post from now on.

#whump #psych whump #medical whump #psychiatric whump #recs #mental illness #masterlist #list #recommendations #moon knight #perception #into your arms #redwood psychiatric hospital #one flew over the cuckoos nest #house of leaves #a cure for wellness #new blog same person #gute zeiten schlechte zeiten

[creekfiend]

Howdy, so Ive got a questions.

I was one of the lucky few mentally ill kids who didn't have a horrific experience with institutionalization, and there's definitely a lot more going on under the hood of my mind than is on any kind of record that i haven't brought to any sort of doctor for fear that i will be denied any sort of recourse in my own life (Autism, CPTSD and suspected BPD). I say this to let you know I'm being genuine in my questioning despite being behind anon.

I saw a post in which it's stated that mental illness as an industry and field of study is meant to pathologize "normal" reactions to capitalism and systemic tragedies, but like. Capitalism didn't make me autistic, or traumatize me, or neglect me into developing a disorder. I agree wholeheartedly that mental illnesses can be developed in response to circumstances outside of someone's control, but i can't in good conscience sit here, remembering a time when i was sat up in bed at 2 am having a psychotic break, convinced that i was still dreaming and that there was something after me as i sob and convulsed in terror and say in good conscience that people who have to experience that sort of terror every day don't need some sort of means to help them maintain some semblance of a life.

I say this because the posts ive been taking issue with are classing the very concept of psychology as a field of study and medicine as an inherent moral evil on the basis of stigma and ableism being prominent in the field. And while i again, wholeheartedly agree that stigma and ableism colors much of psychology, i can't help but see exactly how much good it COULD do should stigma and ableism be removed completely from the equation. Replace biases and preconceived notions with a basis of compassion and understanding, if you will.

Is this a movement that denounces the entire study of mental health and the treatment of it as degrading and immoral by nature? If so, what does the antipsych movement have in mind as a means of helping those in mental distress without a means to examine and classify different types of mental distress? Am i misunderstanding the gist of these concepts? Is there some sort of contingency to deal with those of us with uglier manifestations of mental health to put it lightly? For those whose mental health would absolutely benefit from being placed somewhere safe with other like-minded people for a time, is there any room for such a thing as a treatment, so long as it's voluntary, like an actual hospital treating an illness instead of a prison housing criminals?

I just. Want to understand, because the understanding I'm currently getting is distressing to me, as i initially thought antipsych as a "treat nuerodivergent people like normal actual people and also abolish the use of mental institutions in their current, oppressive form", as opposed to those who seem to be saying (and please, genuinely, correct me if I'm misinterpreting this) to abolish the study of psychology altogether.

if you read the contents of my tag and you still think that this is a relevant question I don't know what to tell you

like

...

I simply don't im sorry

#i think there is something much more basic that is not connecting for you than this #i am not trying to be mean. but literally no one js claiming that capitalism invented mental illness or psychosis or acute distress. #like youre asking me to explain a position which simply is not present in the literature that i have provided.

[queersatanic]

I've been smashing that follow button on whichever platform I see you after reading your takedown of TST. Because of that being my first impression of you, I thought something like "huh, that's pretty cool, an actual Satanist calling out the bullshit of the guys that just use the label to be assholes", assuming you (with "satanic" in your handle) derive your own values from a Satanist ethos, surely Laveyan. Then I just read your post on LaVey himself (brilliant as well) and I basically was left with the question of how exactly does satanism look like to you? Clearly it's not a larp, but it's also not the "actual" (or shall I say "Main-Stream") brand of it, the goal of which as I've come to understand it being basically to become a Bad Motherfucker.

I haven't looked if you've actually written something about that, do let me know if you have. Went for an Ask so I can let you know I am a big fan 😁

Spite and self-worship are probably always going to be some of the root animating forces of anyone's conception of satanism, and that's true for ours too. In our case, that's not just spite against White Christian Morality, but also spite against TST for being Scientology for mall goths, and spite against COS for both its historical chumminess and outright endorsement of reactionary tendencies, and also for its intellectually bankrupt charade that the adulation of power for its own sake should somehow be considered "apolitical." TST and COS are both just competing for hegemony on a smaller scale, both of them are perfectly sincere and legitimate expressions of satanism (and we mean that as an insult to satanism) - and we spite them both for being deliberately, institutionally unable to address any of the myriad crises facing the world today, and particularly the crises faced by the people most immediately and constantly threatened by the Christian nationalists for whom satanism ostensibly exists to confront and depower.

As to the self-worship part? For us, this isn't actually terribly difficult to reconcile with our unabashedly leftist positions on the world. No one is an island. My ability to become my best self is contingent, at least in part, on the society in which I live, and the material conditions that exist therein. Your mileage may vary of course, but I don't think it's contradictory at all to say that in the pursuit of my self-interest and my own apotheosis, my satanism obliges me from time to time to also pursue the ascendance and wellbeing of the people around me. There is just no good reason that my wellbeing and that of others inherently have to be in competition with each other, and I think it's great to be self-indulgent enough to reject that as a false dichotomy, and to pursue both as its own form of self-worship.

I think a big part of what it means to be a satanist in this light is to be critical, often to the point of hostility, to the arrangement of the world as it is today. The powers that be put incredible amounts of energy not just into committing atrocities, but also in conditioning the rest of us that these atrocities are justified in the pursuit of profit, efficiency, the so-called right of states to exist, whatever. We are conditioned to never be so audacious as to expect these atrocities not to occur in the first place, and that we should accept atrocities as the background noise of regular life lest we be doing "purity politics" by demanding better. But this is just a modernized divine right of kings - at the end of the day, it is a deliberate project to stunt the political imaginations of billions of people into thinking that There Is No Alternative even as the oceans boil. And that is a project that we should not only reject as satanists, but whose mechanisms and reproduction we should actively sabotage, at the very least, as an expression of self-defense.

To quote the late Michael Brooks - "Be kind to people, and ruthless to systems." That's a better summation of what our satanism means than anything LaVey ever said.

#queer satanic #satanism

[trans-axolotl]

I'm a psych survivor & want to find community in general or join conversations on here but it seems like no one really cares what I have to say & a lot of the conversations on here about mad liberation etc. are so academic that I feel alienated & shut out by them, and afraid of being talked down to & made fun of, even though I was (barely) able to master's degree and thought I was fairly intelligent. it seems like the academics mainly want to talk amongst themselves. idk. it's like the more I try to connect the worse I feel. I guess you probably don't have an answer to this but I appreciate your blog & how accessible your writing is

💜💜💜anon i think you have SUCH an important point. for me, the most meaningful mad community that i've found has always been when I've been institutionalized and just talking with other mad people, where most of them don't have any experience with mad liberation politics or antipsychiatry or any of that vocabulary. But like--time and time again those are the people who just get it the most, and are some of the most insightful people I've met. And I know that if some of my psych survivor friends came on tumblr, I think they would be judged for not having the "right" language or not communicating clearly enough or whatever. Which makes me so fucking mad, especially considering how many of us are disabled in ways that impact our communication, processing, and language. and how to me, it feels like such an important value of mad liberation to celebrate different styles of communication and all the different ways we're going to show up and exist as mad people! I'm sorry that you haven't been able to find a lot of welcoming community on tumblr--I know how exhausting and isolating it feels to not be able to connect with the people that are Supposed to actually understand and support you.

and it's not that I hate academic stuff about madness--I'm currently at university studying disability studies and really appreciate disability scholars. I think it's super fucking important + there's a lot of really talented people doing cool work. But I think that especially in disability studies, there needs to be a LOT more of an effort put in to actually make research + writing accessible. If half our community can't access any of the writing about our community, that's fucked up, you know? I'm always getting into arguments at university lmao when I talk about how we should do more to translate academic work into plain language. especially since i think it's a form of injustice when we are kept away from resources and knowledge that would let us build a political understanding of our experiences. it just feels super important to me to think about accessibility and what that means in mad spaces and psych survivor spaces, and who feels welcome to participate in our spaces and who feels left out of them.

and i also don't really have answers or solutions for How to Make That Happen on Tumblr--if you or any followers have any suggestions i would def love to hear them. i know that a lot of people are going to come on tumblr to do a lot of different things and that some people see this mostly as an academic space for them, where some people just come on here to talk or create art or a million different things.

For me, I use tumblr as a space where I want to talk and connect with a lot of people about all kinds of topics and hear psych survivors opinions on a ton of stuff. a lot of my posts are pretty casual, but when i make longer educational and political posts i spend a lot of time thinking about the best ways to translate really academic concepts to a wider audience. when i sit down to write out a long post i try to incorporate as many accessibility features as possible like using bullet points, putting in summaries/ Tl;DR sections at ends of posts, adding in real life examples when I'm defining complicated technical concepts, adding content notes, and more. Before I post, I read through my posts and highlight every time I use a more academic or technical term. Then, I think through whether that vocab is necessary for people to understand the post, or if there's better language I could replace it with. A lot of times I do end up keeping in some technical terms in my posts because it is honestly the most direct way to explain some of the stuff I want to talk about, but it's been super valuable for me to go through and really think about it, even when some terms stay in my writing. that's just my process and what works for me and I really don't think that other people need to write the same way I do lmao, but if anyone ever wants to talk about writing in plain language & easy read PLEASE come into my inbox bc i love talking about this and want to chat about it with more people.

other things i'll say is that i've found that virtual/in person psych survivor/antipsych support groups are often times a lot more welcoming and accessible and are just like, people talking about things and hanging out together. I've heard really good things about Wildflower Alliance's support groups, and also recommend the Hearing Voices Network. Project LETS has been running an exceptional psychiatric survivor support group for almost a year that is more casual and is a really great community, I'm hoping that they're going to open up availability again in the spring so that might also be worth checking out in the next couple months. Campaign for Psych Abolition in the UK runs a mad art space that seems super fun. i wish there were a lot more existing groups cause it sucks how few things there are tbh.

anyway, know that you + anyone else are always welcome to chat in my inbox or on any of my posts and you will not face any judgement from me. i genuinely love talking to other psych survivors so much and want to hear what people have to say. the only people i get annoyed at on my posts are psych students and other mental health professionals who leave really bullshit stuff on there lmfao.

sending you all the solidarity, anon <3

#asks #psych survivor #surviving psych #psych abolition #mad liberation #accessibility #sorry for going on a tangent about plain language in the middle adsfjkhjkfsh i just like. am very passionate about plain language writing #and tumblr is one of the main places in my day to day life where i practice writing in plain language #i am not perfect at it but i really enjoy doing it and keep wanting to get better at it #also want to get better about writing in easy read. i'm not very good at that at all yet #ik that wasn't like directly related to your question tho so sorry!! i started getting excited about plain language #and then was like no okay i should just go post about plain language on a diff post that isn't ur ask askfdjhfjdkah #ANYWAY. sending all the love u way anon

[an-aura-about-you]

so y'all are not ready for the family drama that got back to me today.

content warning: discussion of abuse with a focus on threatening suicide as a manipulation tactic

so I haven't really mentioned this very much since it's not my news to tell, but my sibling and dad have been looking for an apartment to live in so they can move out of the house and not have to live with my mother. which says a lot, especially since I've put an emphasis on them doing whatever they wanna do without necessarily doing what I did. (though at the same time I'm Not Surprised By This Turn Of Events, especially the bit with Dad not thinking this move will be permanent. I'm not saying it will be permanent, but damn I'm tired of him getting abused for so long.)

my mother has been. upset about this, to say the least. we're talking huge crying fit once Dad finally broke the news to her. and then after that she was Weirdly Nice? but come to find out yesterday that she was only being nice because she thought if she could be nice they would change their minds as if this hasn't been a pattern over the last 40-50 years but that's not how this works and they're moving out for real. (she also threatened to move out herself, a thing she's done before, and the reaction was very much that Futurama bit with teenage Bender threatening to run away.) and the more I learn about different kinds of abuse like emotional neglect and financial abuse, the worse it all gets. in any case, Dad and my sibbie are not deterred. (though my sibbie came to hang out with me at my place yesterday after this happened.)

but today she decided to hit the family with the Classic™️ tactic If You Do This I Will Kill Myself. this is not the first time she's said something like this, as she once told my sibling that if he should choose to cut her off the way I did, then she would kill herself.

now, my sibling and I saw this for the manipulation tactic that it was and knew she wasn't going to do this for real.

Dad, on the other hand.

well, while he only recently learned how bonkers some of the stuff my mother's been saying really is, like how she apparently wants to sue him for "not paying attention to her," he took this very seriously and drove her to the ER.

and now apparently she has to stay overnight and she might have to go to a psych hospital like an hour and change away from here. I think she maybe didn't think he was going to call her bluff because at the hospital she was like, "can't you just give me some meds to calm me down and send me home?" the medical staff apparently didn't even humor this idea.

now, I'm not in favor of institutionalization for a suicidal patient against their will, but seeing my mother Find Out after she's been Fucking Around for so long is personally pretty satisfying.

[that-left-turn]

Some thoughts on "inappropriate language"

I'm barely in fandom, so I don't have a horse in this race. I don't know the people of the different factions, so this is an outside perspective on the recap that was posted last Sunday and the subsequent reactions to the criticism leveled at it for "inappropriate language." I haven't read any recaps for DD and my knowledge of this one comes from seeing a screenshot of the original version.

The comparison used in the recap is racist and this is how institutionalized racism works. Someone says something, others don't think it's so bad (and that mostly happens when they aren't personally affected by it). If you like a person, you'll excuse things they say which you shouldn't (eg. both Steven Yeun and Norman Reedus have friends who don't see anything wrong with a little rape joke now and again). This is particularly the case if the accusation against your friend comes from someone you don't like. To an extent, that's human, but friends should call each other on their shit because who else will help you become the best version of yourself? The motives of the other cliques/factions shouldn't matter because, regardless of the fandom shit slinging, they're not wrong in that the remark was racist.

I have no idea what the writer's intentions were or how she felt before or after being called upon to change the problematic wording. I do know that she isn't American and since there are cultural parameters to racism, she might be ignorant of the why and how the remark was a textbook example of US institutionalized racism, but her editor and the person responsible for the review site would both have cleared the recap for posting. Why wasn't this caught? Three people were apparently completely blind to the use of "inappropriate language" and if I were to guess they share a similar privilege—we mostly don't notice the sly little barbs that aren't aimed at our own demographic.

When the racist wording was finally changed, Caryl fans were outraged at the consequences and showed support for the use of clearly "inappropriate language." Racism affects us all on subconscious levels, not only the person directly impacted by it. Rap music isn't a criminal subculture, but painting it as such perpetuates that impression of it for individuals with limited exposure to rap and/or black people. It grows and gives way to "black people are thugs." American sociopolitical issues are grounded in a history of oppression, exclusion and violence, and it's why we have a school-to-prison pipeline in this country as well as police brutality. When we have the privilege of not being affected by something, we forgive each other's slips. "I know this person. She isn't racist. She just said something unfortunate. It was a poor choice of words." Black people get killed in the US because others unwittingly perpetuate prejudices and stereotypes.

I want to be clear that I'm NOT saying the writer of the recap is a racist. I haven't talked to her about this. I don't know what she's thinking. My problem with the apology is that it was a standard white person apology where the issue was skirted around—it's worse to be called a racist than to acknowledge that you've said something racist. If you're sorry for hurting someone, you accept responsibility for that hurt. "The language I used was inappropriate because it's racist." There's no shame in admitting you messed up, that you were ignorant of something; it's taking responsibility for your actions and there's a strength of character in that.

We all say dumb, thoughtless things at times and we need to get better at talking about racism without getting defensive. "Be kind to each other" includes listening to the people who've been hurt by what's been said, even if you don't like them. There are other Carylers of color, who don't belong to the factions of fandom that you don't like and by saying, "there was nothing wrong with the recap," you've just told them that they're not worthy of human consideration, or your compassion. The fandom is already toxic, why do we have to invalidate other Caryl fans' experiences?

My DMs are open and so are my asks (for any anons) if anyone wants to talk. I've spent two days debating whether I wanted to post and I fully expect to be drummed out of the fandom for it. But, I figured someone who isn't part of any of the drama needed to say that the language was problematic—nobody was imagining it or making a willful interpretation. I wish the aftermath had been handled differently and I wish I didn't feel so sad and disillusioned by it. I've spent two days feeling brokenhearted over everybody's rush to defend the use of "inappropriate language."

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts on why what happened was hurtful. I hope your takeaway is something other than anger.

#caryl fandom #caryl #name that -ism

[givemearmstopraywith]

how do you feel about religious horror movies? there are a lot i really like, but religious fanaticism in horror movies sometimes feels cheap and exploitative to me. i watched the 1971 film the devils recently and loved it. i was wondering how you feel about movies like this. aesthetically it seems to be in the realm of stuff you post about, but i agree with the director when he said it was more of a political movie than a religious one -- the part of it i saw the most actual theological engagement in was the character of grandier, who has a lot of really interesting ideas about what being close to jesus means for him.

ive had the devils on my list for ages!! i'll preface this by saying i haven't seen it, but i agree with you: i think religious fanaticism, or cult horror in general, often comes off cheap. as a theologian my main focus is studying how dogma and institutionalized religion interact and affect the culture in which its situated- i believe there's far more worth in examining how religion (especially christianity) transforms the world than how the world transforms religion, which is generally how most christians view the relationship between the secular and the religious. it's difficult to engage with religious fanaticism without it being cheap because of the nature of western culture. whether we like it or not the west is constructed on religion. the catholic church is dynastic and it has outlived most monarchies and empires. engaging in religious or political criticism by showing fanaticism operates under the assumption that most religion is not fanatical, that fanaticism is exception. i don't think this is true: what is dogma if not orthodox fanaticism? how else can you interpret how christianity continues to break down human rights and becomes party to system oppression? what many horror directors try to render as fanatical and exceptional is completely ordinary. what person has not been bruised by the backhand of religion?

in general i really enjoy religious horror movies- i think religion in general is kind of horrifying, isn't it? to the extent that i think horror and faith are inextricable from each other, and the horror genre obviously borrows from religion a lot: la manoir du diable from 1896, widely considered to be the first horror film, is in fact religious horror. and if you are religious, the god(s) you believe in is (are) a haunting presence, whether you believe them to be loving and benevolent or cruel and exacting. i think this idea kind of gets lost in religious horror in favour of transforming human dogmatism into something metaphysical. the reality is that when most people have a bad experience with religion, they are not having a bad experience with a deity: they're having a bad experience with people acting on behalf of a deity. i think where horror about religious fanaticism feels cheap is where it brings in a supernatural element to "explain" that fanaticism. whether god is real or not, people become fanatical all on their own. that's the danger, isn't it? thank you for asking this btw!! its reminded me to finally watch the devils.

#replies

[ennead-of-whump]

Psych Whump Masterlist

💉💉💉

This is going to be my go-to list every time I find something with medical or psych whump in it that I want to remember. I'll reblog it frequently and try to keep it updated but it's going to start small because good psych whump is so hard to find. (This in no way endorses medical abuse, I'm a mentally ill individual but I love consuming psych whump in media. Just about everything in these movies, books, etc are at the very least morally gray so consume at your own risk. Also, I only enjoy these things in fiction. Irl it makes me sick to my stomach, I know bc I've experienced some of this.) I'll try to add trigger warnings for each one but I might miss some so I apologize in advance. If you have any recommendations please message me! I'm scouring the internet for good psych whump but medical/sickfic whump is also wanted.

Movies:

A Cure For Wellness: Guy gets tricked into becoming a patient at a "resort" that's really a mental hospital in disguise that uses its patients for nefarious means. CW: incest, medical abuse, teeth falling out, sexual assault, some weird eel shit ^^There's probably more but I haven't watched the film in a while.

TV Shows:

Moon Knight: Whole season of psych whump, the main character has DID and loads of past trauma. Has a huge ancient Egypt theme and the MC gets (kind of) forced to accept psychiatric care. CW: lots of ableism, mental break, psychotic episodes, forced institutionalisation, child abuse, restraints

Books:

House of Leaves: This book is a fever trip but the MC (kind of?? The book has multiple authors, it's honestly very confusing but it's great) suffers from declining mental health and spirals hard. CW: child abuse, lots of sexual content, mentions of a caretaker beating a child, mentions/delusions of sexual assault, death of a dog (it was brutal, huge warning), mentions/descriptions of suicide and attempted murder

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: This is chock-full of psych and medical whump, it all takes place in a psychiatric hospital (I've actually been to the one in the film! -Not as a patient) CW: huge amounts of abuse from staff, doctors, nurses, there's also a scene where SA is implied on a patient, the MC is there after being convicted of SA'ing a minor and he's pretty unremorseful (the MC is a dick though anyways), racism, ableism

OG Works (not mine):

Redwood Psychiatric Insitute: Forced institutionalization, great read and it has just about every trope I look for in fics all packed into one series. Please give it a read, it's fantastic. Source - https://www.tumblr.com/only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are/706656298337435648/redwood-psychiatric-institute-masterlist?source=share by @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are

Fanfiction:

Into Your Arms: This is a Star Trek fanfic that follows a girl who has a severe eating disorder and mental illness. It's not the normal kind of sickfic or psych whump I go for but the aftercare in this is topnotch. Source - https://archiveofourown.org/works/15185897 by moose-misses-sweets on ao3 CW: suicide attempt, severe eating disorder, abusive partner, cutting/self harm

Note: If something you made is on this list and you want me to remove it, please message me and I will. I don't check messages very often but it doesn't mean I'm ignoring you, I just forget I have a tumblr sometimes.)

This has now been moved to @caspers-delusions which is my main blog. I'll be updating the post from there

[cipheramnesia]

Silent Madness (1984) is a fascinating entry in the ignominious halls of "horror that portrays psychopaths as violent killers" slasher genre.

It's not exempted from all the deserving criticism of "psycho killer" movies, but I haven't seen one that portrays the institutions surrounding the killer as so uniformly reprehensible and even partially responsible.

On the protagonist end is the upright, responsible psychiatrist trying to manage patient care, partnered with a journalist investigating institutional mismanagement at the asylum holding the aforementioned killer. However, the director and general staff of the asylum equally murderous. There is no line that separates their behavior from the central antagonist. If anything, they feel like worse people in how openly malicious they behave, purposefully trying to cover their mistakes and perfectly happy to try to kill anyone that might reveal them.

Additionally, we have an incompetent law enforcement officer, whose sole objective is to preserve his own position, rather than anything like try to protect people. It's revealed at the end of the movie that the antagonist was wrongfully arrested by the very same sheriff - it doesn't undo the deeply incorrect stereotyping of "psychopathic killer" but between his false initial arrest and implied terrible childhood, the overall implications are that institutions are the ones responsible, not the individual.

This is far from a progressive movie, however the specific timing of it (1984) being so close to when Ronald Reagan de-institutionalized all mental hospitals - when both the terrible abuse in such hospitals and the even worse homelessness resulting in Reagan's decision would have potentially been at the forefront of news. There's mixed feelings on this website about psychiatrists, but from personal experience I can say quite a few are very displeased at the state of institutional mental health, and hold a grudge to this day over Reagan's policies. My point here being that I'm fascinated to see a movie which, in a very simplistic and crude way, has managed to encapsulate my experience with mental health workers.

It's not an especially good movie, but several scenes with the killer, the asylum director, and the psychiatrist protagonists all in a three way fight where each one is trying to fight both of the others makes for a striking metaphorical interpretation of how mental health is handled. If you were to remove the "psycho killer" aspect from the movie (which honestly could have been done without much difficulty), it's an even more effective statement.

Truly fascinating for this to have come out in the early 80s, fumbling its way around something profound, not quite getting it, but coming close enough to be intriguing.

#silent madness 1984 #horror movies

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

SUMMARY: A man tries to uncover an unconventional psychologist's therapy techniques on his institutionalized wife, amidst a series of brutal murders.

This movie looks fucking crazy (as does all of Cronenberg's filmography to be fair) but the mod has been in love with Samantha Eggar since she was 6 so she might check it out just for her.

#the brood (1979) #psychological horror #body horror #1970s #canada #north american movie #horror #movies #poll #more than 50% havent heard

[philosophika]

Nine People You Want To Get To Know Better

Hi everyone, I'm back from an unplanned semi-hiatus (turns out moving countries can really do a number on you) and am looking forward to interacting again. On that note, thank you very much to my new mutual, @lordfenric-writes for tagging me! If you don't already know Fenric (can I call you Fenric?), go check out their Content Links Post for access to their 2023 NaNoWriMo project and more! Soft tagging: @tate-lin @lucianinsanity @songsofsomnia @moonscribbler @words-after-midnight @blind-the-winds @sarah-sandwich @mydeadpony @inkovert @sender-paulson @athenswrites @wordsacrossemptypages, @winterandwords and anyone else who'd like to participate! If you want me to remove you from the tags, just send me a message and I'll get right on it <3

Current Book I'm Reading: OK, so the first thing you need to know about me is that I'm a fully institutionalized academic, and although I've (THANKFULLY) left that world behind, I. CAN'T FOR. THE. LIFE. OF. ME. stop reading like an academic. I haven't been able to read fiction in over a year. The only genre outside of non-fiction that I still seem to be able to connect with is horror. And not like ghosts in your attic horror. Obscure, weird-as-fuck horror. Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman & Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova horror (which are both excellent books, by the way). But that wasn't the question, was it? The question was: what am I reading now. Well, (oh god) I've been digging into The Last Man Takes LSD: Foucault and the End of Revolution by Mitchell Dean & Daniel Zamora, which sounds a whole lot more trippy than it actually is. Mainly, I'm interested because the authors point out that Foucault's late philosophy, his so-called 'ethical turn' towards an 'aesthetics of existence', was inspired by a trip he took to California (and the upper reaches of the universe). Since I wrote my MA dissertation on this exact topic (the ethical turn, not the LSD), I thought it might come in handy for future articles...

Last Song I Listened To: Bastille & Hans Zimmer's new cover of Bastille's Pompeii, Pompeii MMXXIII (recommended by a friend). Before that, I was listening to a 'British Folk/Weird Folk/Horror Folk' playlist on Spotify which was pretty interesting... Actually, it reminded me of being a child in the English countryside, stuffing my face with berries by the side of the road and then going to the new-age shop in the village to listen to whale-song CDs, touch magic gemstones, and smell incense sticks. Very hippie.

Currently Watching: The Servant on Apple TV (is the baby real or not!? It's driving me crazy); Foundation on Apple TV (and I swear it's not because Jared Harris is in it or Lee Pace wears chainmail crop-tops. I swear!); and... The News? Does the news count? I watch a lot of 'the news' now. Actually, I can't stop watching... It's been quite sad and terrible lately...

Current Fic I'm Reading: Sorry, I don't read fics! I know it's blasphemy. Believe me, no one is more disgusted with me than I am. But yeah, there you go... Never been my thing, really. Nothing against it.

Next On My Watch List: the upcoming Napoleon movie featuring Joaquin Phoenix; Killers of the Flower Moon; anything A23 produces anytime; Priscilla by Sofia Coppola (which is A23 also so, you know, naturally); and I'll probably re-watch The Green Knight for Christmas (it is a Christmas movie, after all).

Current Obsession: My WIP, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, which you can check out on my writeblr side-blog (@thesorcerersapprentice) has been my main obsession for the past -what?- four years? More or less? I really feel like until I've written this thing, gotten it out of me, I won't be able to write anything else. It just won't leave me alone. I can't think around it; I always end up coming back. It's a story I fundamentally, deep down in my bones, need to write. So it's my obsession: today, tomorrow, and always, right up until the day it's done.

#tag games #tagging games #open tag #Nine People You Want To Get To Know Better #writeblr community

[comicweek]

Ángel Manuel Soto on Cultural Specificity in Blue Beetle

Rafael Motamayor : There is a cultural specificity to the film that we haven't really seen before in superhero movies, and the Reyes family members aren't just Pan-Latino, but specifically Mexican. Why was this important for the film?

 Ángel Manuel Soto: I think we've been psychologically and pathologically inculcated a fallacy by the hegemony that our specificity is not universal, that the white and gringo are universal. The truth of the matter is that we're all universal if we embrace our true selves. We Latinos watch Korean movies, Japanese movies, European movies, and we connect with their specificity because Latinos were never given that change because we were told you couldn't, and I never agreed with that feeling, that thought. It is an institutionalized philosophy, and Hollywood has perpetrated it.

So for me, I wanted to start from the premise that the universality of our cultures exists in our specificity. And if we are honest and free to be authentically us, and we don't have to be like someone else, it can still reach a general audience even if they don't look like us. To me, it was important for writer Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer as a Mexican, for me as a Puerto Rican, and to the actors as Mexicans, to be themselves, to allow this to be a movie where we take ourselves seriously, but also enjoy ourselves and express ourselves freely. To me, it was important to not have to reinvent the wheel at the first try, but to instead use nostalgia to make a throwback to the movies we liked as kids and insert ourselves in those scenes as the heroes of the movie, embracing authenticity. After, we can reinvent the wheel.

The only thing that could have prevented this was the studio, and from the beginning, I told them if they were going to tell me how big the explosions were going to be, they could not tell me how Latino my movie was going to be.

RM: One thing I love was the references to cultural touchstones like "El Chapulín Colorado" and "María la del Barrio." Could you talk about those references and introducing these things to a wider audience?

AS: Just as we consume other countries' popular cultures, we can't leave other people ignorant to the things that connect us as Latinos, because though our countries have their own idiosyncrasies, truths, and specific cultural identities, there are also more things that unite us within a Latin American collective. For me, it was very important not only to pay homage and honor that first Latin American hero we all collectively grew up with, but highlight that a Mexican in Querétaro like Gareth, and a Puerto Rican like me, being so far away, still can say that our first exposure to a superhero was El Chapulín, because he was in every Latin American's home.

So we thought, why not embrace the characters or elements that are specific, which also have a Pan-Latino appeal? And through that, we can celebrate the intersectionality of our cultures. It doesn't have to be Mexican for me to say it is also mine, it is also yours. Same with Puerto Rico: Reggaetón is no longer ours. It belongs to the world, even if it came from there. Same with "Maria la del Barrio," and novelas. The references in the movie are both a celebration to the things that unite us collectively as Latino, and also references we are canonizing in this fictional world.

RM: Speaking of Carapax, his story is fascinating in that it brings in the real history of the School of the Americas. Can you talk about the decision to bring in that part of the story?

AS:

To me, it was important to explore that in Hollywood, Latinos are always introduced in the middle of the paragraph. We enter a scene and we're gangsters and narcos, we are violent and dishonest people, and no one questions why that is. And when a movie or a show explains why, it just says that we are like that because that's our nature. So, we've never been given the chance to explore the history of blood behind the violent behaviors in Latin America. And, come on, you don't have to be a rocket scientist or an erudite to do a simple Google search and learn about Yankee interventionism, and why that interventionism started in 1954 to protect the American [United] Fruit Company in Guatemala.

It was important for me to be able to show this villain who is not just Latino, but indigenous, and show why he is the way he is to a certain point. Because even though he is responsible for much of his actions, the reason why he is a villain is because his trauma was weaponized. And when you see it, you understand he is a victim of the endless perpetuating of violence in Latin America by the CIA through the School of the Americas, but no one talks about that. No one talks about the start of neoliberalism in the School of the Americas in 1973 with the murder of Allende and the placement of Pinochet.

It was important that the film reflected that reality that is not taught at school. It is why Susan [Sarandon's character] represents the Military Industrial Complex, and the rampant imperialism that exists in Latin America. She is a person that has been perpetrating trauma, and then using that trauma like the School of the Americas, which trained the locals so they'd invade their own people. There is nothing more nefarious than that, so it was important to me to have that exist in this movie, if only for a minute. Using fantasy to raise curiosity could help us be better informed and more emphatic.

When I joined the project, I wanted the movie to be somewhat anchored in realism, in real traumas that Latin America has experienced historically. But I wanted it to be recent, not to just go all the way back to Columbus, though we do tumble a statue of Columbus in the movie. We talk about the more recent and relevant history, the one that is not talked about, but should be remembered so it is not repeated.

And the name is a bit ridiculous, and some people may not realize this is actual history, so we intercut Carapax's flashbacks with archival footage of the School of the Americas to make it clear this is real. RM: The character is also indigenous, and you bring Carapax's native language into the movie, too. AS: Yes, we had him unlock his memory, and his language. It is an allegory for how colonized or imperialist education works overtime to erase our history and make us forget where we come from, because it makes it easier to control. We wanted to make this situation where, at the end of the day, his memory is freed and he can look back to the source of the trauma, and understand everything that happened to him. His being able to talk in his native tongue is the most explicit way to show that he could return to his origin and empower himself by that origin, to close that chapter and sacrifice his own master for the greater good.

#blue beetle #angel manuel soto #jaime reyes #ignacio carapax #carapax #dcu #dceu #latino

[thickenmyblood]

Hi! I'm loving HIUH but I just have one question - what is the timeline for Laurent's life, particularly his life with his uncle? In your previous post you said something about how Laurent only lived in poverty for around a year when he took the uncle to court, so he was around 20/21, also when he first met Damen? Did he continue to live with the uncle, minus when he was forcibly locked away? With that being said, does that mean he only intervened and stood up to his uncle through legal means when he met Nicaise, but not for any other previous boy? Was he *at the mercy* of the uncle when Auguste was away at college, or did Auguste die before then, because I think one of the flashbacks mentioned Laurent vaguely telling his brother about Damen, which would mean Auguste was alive when Laurent was in squalor, but I could be misremembering that. This is more than one question haha but the central theme is just the timeline of Laurent's life before Damen I guess lol. I also tried really hard to keep saying 'his/the uncle' instead of the long list of other names he'd deserve to be called. Again, I love HIUH and your characterisation, storyline and angst are amazing - thank you :)

hello, friend. i'm sorry for the long wait. as a disclaimer: a year and a half ago someone asked me a similar question and i admitted without (too much) shame that math is not my thing. therefore, in my head, it made sense that lamen dated for four years. . . but then nicaise's age wasn't adding up to many readers, and that's when i realized they should have been dating for closer to SIX years instead of four. having said this, PLEASE ignore that mistake lmao. this is a rough timeline of laurent's life, where i FIXED the age issue (it is NOT fixed in the story bc i. . . have a life and haven't had time yet): - 12 years old: Aleron and Hennike die. - 12 years old-13 years old: Laurent and Auguste live together. See: Laurent's comment about his year with Auguste -> "It was just me and Auguste for a whole year. It was the best year." - 13 years old: Auguste dies. Uncle becomes Laurent's guardian. - 13 years old-15.5 years old: Uncle. - 16 years old: Laurent is institutionalized. Laurent comes back. Nicaise is living with them now. See: Laurent's explanations to Damen in a flashback -> Laurent crossed his legs. “I spent some time away. At sixteen.” He’s looking down at his plate, his hair a blonde curtain. “When I came back home, Nicaise was there. It wasn’t the best time for… I wasn’t the best.” - 16 years old-18 years old: Laurent gains Nicaise's trust, tries through many different routes and strategies to get Nicaise taken away/his uncle punished but, ultimately, they all fail. - 18 years old: Laurent moves out slash runs away with a plan to finally put his uncle in jail. He gets cut off monetarily. - 18 years old-20 years old*: Legal battle + Laurent meets Damen. - 20 years old-26 years old: Lamen date. - 26 years old: Laurent breaks up with Damen.

*i said, in a different ask, that the legal battle lasted roughly close to a year. in the og draft it was like a year and a half, but honestly, it's anywhere between 1.5 to 2 years. sue me. i dont' know how to do numbers, okay?

#hiuh #anon #this is why i need an editor who knows how to do numbers #do i look like someone that can do basic math #i cant even remember dates #give me a number and i'll freeze #also if u ask me about damen's age i'll cut your dick off #i can't do math I'M SORRY #math is my fatal flaw #math and prepositions lmao #also thank u for ur question!!!! i'll reply to the other one soon #even tho u sent that one first shhh