catboys4recovery

[catboys4recovery]

actually people do not have a moral obligation to 'recover'. they have a moral obligation to do their best not to inflict harm on others. these are two distinct but sometimes overlapping concepts.

[catboys4recovery]

“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.

You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are

[catboys4recovery]

honestly the only way to not do addiction recovery "right" is by dying. relapse is part of recovery. when we relapse, it's because there's something we haven't learned yet. and as long as we stay alive, we have a chance to learn it and get back on our feet. so props to you for still being here, despite everything. it means more than you know.

[catboys4recovery]

I am begging Mental Health Culture to stop broadening the definition of "self-harm." If you want a term to convey the concept you're trying to express, may I suggest bringing back the term "bad habit"? "Self-harm" is grounds for involuntary commitment. Do you want people to get involuntarily committed for spending too much time on the internet before bed or volunteering for too many projects? No? Then don't give coercive psychiatry ammunition by broadening the usage of their coercive terminology! When I first started out in the Mad liberation advocacy movement, one of the arguments we made against involuntary commitment and coercive intervention for "self-harm" was that neurotypical people do things that are "bad for them" all the time, like playing football, smoking tobacco, or eating candy, and they still have the bodily autonomy right to make those "unhealthy" choices. The point was to highlight the double standard that some people were denied rights because of doing things that were allegedly "bad for them," while other people were allowed the dignity of risk and freedom to choose. Our point was "The neurodivergent/Mad person picking her skin should have the same right to bodily autonomy as the neurotypical person dancing ballet, even though both are doing things to their bodies that could be described as 'bad for them.'" The argument was that neither should be pathologized. Current discourse would pathologize both, as well as even more variations on human behavior. That's a big step backwards. "But it's only self-harm if it has certain emotional motivations" -- let me stop you right there. Coercive psychiatry does not ask us what our emotional motivations are. It dictates to us what our emotional motivations are, and increases the coercion if we disagree with it (because disagreeing with their assessments of our emotional state is also A Symptom). Do you think the Parental Surveillance Industrial Complex is going to listen to their children before following through on moral panic articles about how parents should take away their children's hobbies because they're "self-harm"? Don't ascribe good faith to coercive psychiatry, because coercive psychiatry doesn't ascribe good faith to you.

#i've been thinking about this for a long time now #bodily autonomy #no matter what

[catboys4recovery]

Prescriptive diet culture, especially (but not exclusively) the sort aimed at losing weight, is ableist and sizeist, with frequent undertones of racism, classism, and sexism. It relies on the premise that all bodies can and should fit into a certain size and a certain range of “health” and ability, that fat and disabled bodies are inherently lesser, and frequently relies on patronizing or limiting the options of poor people for their alleged “own good,” stigmatizing or patronizing the food choices of non-European cultures, and judging women’s and perceived-women’s bodies more harshly than men’s bodies.

In response to this, various fat liberation, body positive, and health-at-every-size movements have arisen to challenge this narrative to varying degrees. One of the alternatives often promoted in these contexts is “intuitive eating,” in which people eat what their bodies crave, whenever they’re hungry, instead of following a prescriptive diet or schedule. This is framed as radical, liberatory rebellion and self-actualization against diet culture.

Intuitive eating is great for some people. However, there are some problems with promoting it as a universal solution.

First of all, “Everyone should eat intuitively” is just as prescriptive as any other prescriptive diet. It still frames food choices as something with a right and a wrong answer. What superficially sounds like “Eat whatever you want” actually becomes “You must eat whatever you want, and examine carefully whether you actually want it, and defend your choices accordingly.”

Secondly, intuitive eating is fundamentally inaccessible to the majority of the world’s population. Perhaps if we lived in a Star Trek universe where we could just command a replicator to create food and have it instantly ready for us, then most, if not all people, could eat intuitively. But in our own world, our food choices are constrained by time, money, and availability, as well as restrictions like allergies and sensitivities.

When I think about what food I want to eat, I have to think about what I already have. What I can afford to buy. What I have the time and energy to prepare. I might “intuit” that I crave a steak, but what I have readily on hand is a bowl of cereal. Intuition won’t help someone with chronic fatigue who can’t stand at a stove for long or chop vegetables, or someone on food stamps who has to stretch their budget, or someone who works long shifts and comes home exhausted, or a parent of three children with food allergies who only feeds themself leftover scraps from feeding them. Who has time and energy to cook a meal from scratch? Who has money to go out to a restaurant? Whose invisible and underpaid labor -- farm workers, grocery workers, restaurant cooks, homemakers -- does this system rely upon?

The third problem with promoting intuitive eating as a universal solution is that many foods are manufactured in such a way as to sensorily mislead the eater about their properties. The idea that “artificial” or “processed” foods are somehow “worse” than “natural” foods -- or that those are meaningful categories -- is ridiculous and baseless. However, it is a fact that many foods are made to mimic the look, taste, smell, and texture of foods they do not actually contain. This makes it harder for eaters to “intuit” a food’s properties by the usual means. Eaters may have to rely on ingredients lists and nutritional information rather than sensory input alone. This is especially true for people who have specific nutritional needs, like allergies or nutrient deficiencies, to either avoid or seek out specific food attributes.

Finally, even if all other obstacles were eliminated, some people are just not good at intuiting their own food needs. People with executive functioning disabilities may forget that they’re hungry, or not recognize their bodies’ hunger signals. Not everyone is naturally good at piloting a meat suit. Food is difficult, and it’s okay to need external reminders to refuel.

Intuitive eating rhetoric can sound suspiciously similar to the common rhetoric of the “natural” “wellness” movement, stemming from the premise that all bodies are born with a natural alignment to a certain standard of “health” and normative ability, and only external factors and individual choices can “corrupt” it. In reality, there are no normative bodies or abilities. Plenty of people are born with food-related disabilities, whether difficulty remembering to eat, anxiety, susceptibility to nutrient deficiency, allergies, diabetes, or all kinds of other conditions. Food is hard. Harder for some people than others. And that’s okay.

There’s nothing wrong with intuitive eating, but it’s not a universal solution to everyone’s food difficulties. We need affordable, accessible food for everyone. We need everyone to have the free time and support they need to perform all activities of daily living. We need living wages for everyone at every part of the food supply chain. We need clearly labeled food ingredients and nutritional values. We need a society where everyone has the resources, time, and support to eat whatever they want, and the information to know what they’re eating. And then, maybe, intuitive eating can be a more attainable goal for people who want it.

We also need a society in which bodily autonomy is respected, and people’s food choices and other health and bodily choices are rightly regarded as no one else’s business. We need widespread recognition that there’s no standard of health or ability that anyone “should” have and no way that anyone “should” eat, and that what matters is ensuring that everyone has equitable access to resources, which each individual can choose how to use, whether that’s eating frozen dinners every day, growing vegetables for fun, eating only purple things, or using a timer to remember when it’s time to eat. But until we achieve that society, “intuitive eating” might as well mean “let them eat cake.”

[catboys4recovery]

It's my belief that the best revenge is a life well lived.

I try to live my best life to spite my enemies. And, you know, to better myself and those around me. I guess...

#FR

[catboys4recovery]

Reblog and put in the tags a reason to live, or something that has kept you going over the years.

#spite for my abusers #spite for bigots who want me dead #a sort of vengeance through happiness #joy as rebellion #<< post by shiho >>

[catboys4recovery]

My dad and I once had a disagreement over him using the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I said, "That's just not true. Sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you brittle and injured or traumatized."

He stopped and thought about that for a while. He came back later, and said, "It's like wood glue."

He pointed to my bookshelf, which he helped me salvage a while ago. He said, "Do you remember how I explained that, once we used the wood glue on them, the shelves would actually be stronger than they were before they broke?"

I did.

"But before we used the wood glue, those shelves were broken. They couldn't hold up shit. If you had put books on them, they would have collapsed. And that wood glue had to set awhile. If we put anything on them too early, they would have collapsed just the same as if we'd never fixed them at all. You've got to give these things time to set."

It sounded like a pretty good metaphor to me, but one thing I did pick up on was that whatever broke those shelves, that's not the thing that made them stronger. That just broke them. It was being fixed that made them stronger. It was the glue.

So my dad and I agreed, what doesn't kill you doesn't actually make you stronger, but healing does. And if you feel like healing hasn't made you stronger than you were before, you're probably not done healing. You've got to give these things time to set.

[catboys4recovery]

All those posts that are like "your life doesn't really start til your 30s-40s-50s" are wonderful and important but they make me sad so. Positivity post for anyone who's not going to get there.

People who have been told they won't make it til their 20s, 30s, 40s, whenever. Another month, another year, another five years, another ten or twenty. People who have known since they were little, people who just found out. People who are getting worse faster or slower. People who are in treatments that might help, but cause so much other damage. People who treatment didn't work for people who can't afford treatment. People who are medically fragile and people who are housebound and people who are bedbound. People who are losing their independence and people who have never had it. People who never know which infection, which flare-up, which episode is going to be the last one. People who are in hospice, people who have planned their funerals and written their wills and got their DNR in order. People who have tried everything they can and people who are making themselves worse and people who are being neglected by doctors and caregivers. People with genetic diseases that have taken family members already. Cheers 🧃🧃

#degenerative disorders #positivity #cripple punk #it hurts knowing you don't have as long as everyone else #stay safe guys

[catboys4recovery]

From @rrmeggy on Insta

[catboys4recovery]

Good news! There are plenty! Most of which have been in practice for years and have been shown to work! And these are just some of the alternatives!

#for reference

[catboys4recovery]

I Don’t think some of y’all realise how awful the mental health system is to children.

Even if you are lucky enough to get help early on, it’s a gamble. I went to so many hospitals and therapists and psychologists, all of whom claimed to be state of the art.

Nothing was ever different. I was scrutinised, used as a lab rat, put on a crap ton of medications that made me sick, made me gain weight, made my symptoms worse.

You grow up with a sense that you can’t trust yourself. After all, doctors know best, don’t they? So you must be wrong! But the doctors aren’t helping you at all… so what’s going on?

Then come the residents and medical students that put you through the same sloppy thought exercises and wear you thin, and you didn’t even consent to them practicing on you!

Rant over. For now.

#tw psychiatry

[catboys4recovery]

harm mitigation is NOT:

shaming people into starting recovery

coercive or forced

pressuring people to take steps they’re not ready for

harm mitigation is:

paced at whatever pace works for the individual

focussed on providing information that will keep people safe while they continue to engage in “unhealthy” behaviours

sometimes a stepping stone towards recovery, but NOT ALWAYS

an option that should be available for all people, regardless of their situation

#had someone asking me abt this #so here it is

[catboys4recovery]

This year we're not doing weight loss resolutions. No new fad diets or miracle workout programs, no magic pills, and definitely no bariatric surgeries. This year we're listening to our bodies, and more importantly we're loving our bodies. We do not need to be smaller to be worthy of that.

[catboys4recovery]

This is a very difficult discussion to have and a lot of people are going to wrongfully accuse you of defending pedos and rapists, because people think that saying "state sanctioned murder is bad, even against bad people, and should instead be replaced with thorough rehabilitation" is the same as saying "all victims of pedos and rapists should coexist with their abusers and totally forgive them" -- forgiveness is not conditional for rehabilitation. Rehabilitation isn't redemption. Nobody should have to forgive their abusers but that doesn't mean that the correct alternative is state sanctioned murder

yup exactly!

[catboys4recovery]

this is gonna be it guys

this is gonna be the year you get out of that shitty relationship

the year you get a better job

the year you drop your addictions

the year you accomplish what you've been wanting to

the year you start loving yourself

it's gonna be a lot of work. it'll be uncomfortable, you'll have to get to know yourself better than you'd want to, but it will be worth it.

2023 is over, and the 2023 you is gone. embrace 2024, embrace a chance for a fresh start.

i believe in you.

#recovery #positivity #2024 #new year #new year's resolution #we got this <3

[catboys4recovery]

listen. you have to get angry to get better. you have to accept that what happened to you was uncomfortable before you can be comfortable with yourself. you have to realize you didn't deserve to be hurt, that what happened was upsetting and you are allowed to be upset by it. being angry about what happened to you is the first step to coming to terms with it.

#csa survivor #recovery #childhood trauma