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weirdmageddon · 6 months

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long mediation on jade and dave’s relationship - part 2

part 1 is here

this part is essentially about dave and jade’s personalities, their basic dynamic, and how it works. and addressing some things ive seen said about dave in moments that people remove from context because they dont weigh these contexts and prior ones. if you want a post that goes into dave’s attitude towards jade (conclusion: he cares about her a lot) here it is

part 2: switcheroo + misconceptions about dave's role in dave and jade's relationship

something interesting i realized while writing this is the thing about grimbark jade is that she is no nonsense when her normal self is all about nonsense and entertaining silly things because she can see the merit in them. in fact she is always having a chuckle caused by dave's sense of humor and im sure dave got used to interacting with jade like that so wtf with grimbark jade

EB: so i think i have to get TG to use his copy to save her! EB: but that jackass won't shut up and stop rapping and stuff. GG: hahaha GG: he is so silly! (p.293)

TG: snows a big chilly carpet of nobody gives a shit TG: like old man winter spread around his nasty mayonnaise and turned the landscape into his personal asshole sandwich GG: eww dave no TG: when i look around all i see is the miles of unharnessed snowmen im just too damn cool to build GG: no this is so lame GG: i am hearing an insane and stupid guy say stupid idiot things while wearing dumb sunglasses for lame morons! TG: whoa jade with the fucking haymaker TG: i need to go look for my teeth on the canvas as soon as shit stops spinning and there stops being like ten of you GG: heheheh GG: why dont we play in the snow later (p.3024)

GG: i cant get over how tiny this thing is! GG: its so cute GG: so the baby frogs show up on this pad here? GA: Yes GG: i cant wait to try it GA: What Are You Laughing At There GG: oh GG: lol GG: dave just has a lot of funny stuff to say about all this GA: What Is He Saying GG: oh you know, a bunch of silly stuff GG: theres too much to copy/paste! GA: Hmm GG: here ill save it all to a file and send it to you -- gardenGnostic [GG] sent grimAuxiliatrix [GA] the file "daveisafunnyguy.txt" -- GA: Okay Im Laughing Pretty Hard At All That GG: hahaha (p.3312)

JADE: *snicker* JOHN: what? JADE: nothing JOHN: is someone messaging you through the game? JADE: hehe JOHN: who is it? JADE: pffff! JOHN: dammit, jade... JADE: its davesprite, hes playing too JOHN: oh. JOHN: don't tell him any of our strategies. he is the enemy! JADE: we have strategies? JOHN: um... JOHN: ok, first, tell him we have strategies. then, don't tell him them. JADE: hahahahahahaha JOHN: oh god. JOHN: what is it now? JADE: did you know... JADE: davesprite is a funny guy? JOHN: meh, he's alright i guess. JOHN: i give most of his jokes a passing grade. sometimes as high as a solid b+! JADE: i just told him you said that JADE: davesprite says to tell you "youre basically welcome for being born 14 years ago and 1 year ago you ungrateful douche" JOHN: oh, like him taking credit for my existence isn't so old by now! (p.4732)

in a way i feel like their roles parallel dave and jade in the earlier acts from homestuck, but inverted (and twisted/not as nice cause grimbark jade is under nefarious influences)

dave approaches the world from a highly pragmatic position. his ego (in the purely psychoanalytical sense) that he holds himself to, shows to the world, and what he tends to reason through is one that’s about relaxed competence. he’s critical of unreasonable actions and takes it upon himself to guide others into being more efficient in practical, realistic ways. he sees that jade struggles in these initially but she readily accepts his help, which is more than glad to provide.

this doesn’t say anything bad about jade harley. this doesn’t make her stupid, or in need the saving from a knight in shining armor nor does it make dave condescending towards her. it’s information that he is able to provide and that she appreciates and trusts his assistance with while she sees through the things that she prioritizes like helping others with matters of hidden opportunities / the big picture and interpersonal needs which are completely out of dave’s league, something he highly respects but doesnt feel its his greatest asset towards other people like jade does. jade is very into science and gadgetry, but remember that she relies heavily on her sharp intuition rather than straight up pragmatism like dave would. jade really is exceptional and multitalented but she doesn’t know how she does the things she does half the time!

(p.790)

even though dave acknowledges this it doesn’t really bother him

TG: hey TG: oh TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything TG: its so cool getting hella chumped by your coquettish damn riddles all the time TG: i dont know why i believe anything you say im like the grand marshal of gross chumpage (p.829)

GG: i want to tell him happy birthday and ask him about his birthday package! TG: oh yeah TG: i was being sort of cagey and told him to check the mail cause i was wondering if mine came yet GG: i think it did! TG: yeah? GG: and i think mine came too TG: so uh TG: i guess you want to know if he likes it or something? GG: no!!!!!!! GG: he will not open it GG: he will lose it!!! TG: oh TG: uh TG: wow sorry to hear that i guess? GG: no its good actually! GG: because he will find it again later when he really needs it GG: which of course is why i sent it in the first place! TG: see like TG: i never get how you know these things GG: i dont know GG: i just know that i know! TG: hmm alright (p.382)

TT: Jade is connected with you? TT: Where did she get the discs? TG: i dont know how does she do any of the loopy batshit nonsense she does (p.1401)

but because she’s gotten by on intuition and her dreams for most things, she’s not as adapted to the rationale behind actions. dave can sense her struggling and wants to help because it’s basically his mission for everyone, not just jade. but that’s the information that jade is glad to be led by and continues to unconsciously prompt him with. she encourages his practical ways and doesn’t tell him to fuck off or just straight up ignore his advice which dave interprets as his strengths being needed by someone else

GG: dave! GG: are you busy? GG: i dont have much time! GG: i am about to make my entry item, and its a little confusing GG: i think the more players we add, the trickier they are to... um...... GG: activate! GG: like yours was GG: i figured we could brainstorm about it, while john fusses with the kernel GG: helloooooo? TG: nak nak nak GG: :o (p.2907)

TG: yeah honestly i figured wed have to do something like this TG: so i guess here we are doing it GG: doing what?? TG: well youre my server player remember GG: yes TG: i need you to deploy something first TG: in my apartment TG: in a few hours ill go back there and we can continue this GG: oh jeez, a few hours???? -- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- -- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- TG: yeah TG: as in a few seconds TG: im back at my place now GG: fastest hours :o TG: yeah TG: now TG: deploy the intellibeam laserstation GG: but that costs so much grist!!! TG: no it costs practically nothing TG: check out how much ive got GG: omg... GG: what does this thing do? TG: its mostly pretty stupid and useless TG: but itll come in handy here TG: it reads captcha codes GG: on the back of cards? TG: yeah GG: but GG: we can already read those! TG: some are too garbled and complicated TG: the human eye cant decipher them TG: needs sophisticated scanning technology TG: and artificial intelligence to figure it out GG: hmm GG: but isnt the whole point of captchas that only humans can read them? GG: and not robots??? TG: yeah well TG: thats why this is so dumb (p.3025 / 3026)

TG: thisll be the disc i use for your connection TG: while the original will stay bound to roses connection GG: so you will be the server for BOTH us ladies??? GG: you just keep getting smoother, i cant handle all this smoothness TG: well technically TG: i will be your server TG: and past me will stay as roses server TG: which is to say present me will TG: the one in the black suit GG: ohh... GG: i guess that makes sense TG: he can keep managing her for a while TG: until she sorta checks out soon and becomes totally useless TG: then he can start hopping around time like i did TG: make a ton of money and stuff TG: eventually become me TG: and become your server player GG: ok i think i understand that! TG: yeah see its not hard to get the hang of TG: in the meantime ill kind of loiter around this timeframe to help you out for a while GG: yessss thanks dave <3

TG: im just going to cut right to the chase and upgrade your alchemiter so you can avoid a lot of bullshit TG: ill give you some codes and you can punch cards and slip em into jumper blocks GG: yaaaaaaaaaaaay! (p.3030 - 3032)

jade has strengths that dave has weaknesses in too, which dave himself points out!!!

TG: ok so TG: the egg is now in a nest made of shitty swords and soft puppet ass TG: please advise GG: i think your sprite wants to hatch it! GG: awww TG: do you think thatll take more than four hours GG: hmm... GG: i dont know it looks like its pretty warm where you are TG: its hot as the sizzle side of the steak GG: maybe not too long then???? GG: i guess we'll find out! TG: maybe i should try to get it back TG: and put it in the microwave GG: :( (p.1507)

dave assumed the egg needed to be heated to break and allow him to enter the game, so his course of action is to go up there and get it himself and use whatever means are at his disposal. that is a logical, straightforward thing to do. he doesnt rely on uncertainty and blind trust that things will just work out when he has the ability to take action in a way that makes sense; that’s jade’s thing. but it turns out jade’s intuition for how to solve dave’s entry puzzle was right! it was actually a test of patience. he later says this to jade

GG: you guys are all so much better than me, i feel sooooo lame TG: we all start out somewhere TG: remember how i was scrambling up that tower to get that egg like an idiot TG: what the hell was i doing TG: i was like goddamn pooh bear in a tree reaching up his fat fuckin pooh paw for some mother fuckin honey GG: heehee TG: so even though im awesome now at one point i was plausibly likened to an autistic stuffed animal TG: and you even knew what to do TG: you told me how it worked all christopher robinning my ignorant ass about that egg TG: but i was all like IM A LITTLE BLACK RAIN CLOUD BITCH WATCH ME CLIMB TG: so maybe youre startin out with more sense than me GG: maaaybe GG: :) (p.3025)

hes pretty much like jade's hypeman but in his own sort of lowkey way and is actually sweetly reassuring to her. this includes davesprite btw

GG: those stupid things are impossible to kill :( TG: no you can kill them TG: youll get better dont worry (p.3024)

GG: hmmmm... GG: i dont know if i get that but ok! TG: well yeah TG: my thing is time yours is space TG: pretty different things TG: you GET things about space i dont TG: or you will GG: i will? TG: yup (p.3024)

DAVESPRITE: as a sprite im supposed to help him with his quest JADESPRITE: oh yeah JADESPRITE: im supposed to help jade too, but...... JADESPRITE: *sniffle* DAVESPRITE: shes doing alright dont worry about it JADESPRITE: ok, ill try... JADESPRITE: shes a lot more brave than me i think JADESPRITE: she brought me back thinking i could help her and all i did was disappoint her and everyone else JADESPRITE: you came back as a sprite and youre managing to do important things... JADESPRITE: but i just feel so scared and helpless DAVESPRITE: sounds like you came back because jade made the decision for you DAVESPRITE: i made the decision to come back myself maybe itd be different if you had the same chance JADESPRITE: i dont know if i would have if i had the chance JADESPRITE: but i would like to not feel so useless to everybody DAVESPRITE: i think everyones on top of this DAVESPRITE: theres not much for us to do anymore (p.3927)

DAVESPRITE: so jade must have done something right DAVESPRITE: to wake her up and get the forge going DAVESPRITE: dont know what she did though JADESPRITE: probably something amazing JADESPRITE: she is still working so hard to help everyone JADESPRITE: i guess i used to be that way... JADESPRITE: but ive completely forgotten how DAVESPRITE: are you sure (p.3945)

JADESPRITE: it reminds me of when i died JADESPRITE: and i was trying to wake john up JADESPRITE: i was scared then too JADESPRITE: but i didnt let the fear stop me from trying to save him DAVESPRITE: what would you want to do DAVESPRITE: if you werent scared JADESPRITE: i have no idea JADESPRITE: i guess try to help JADESPRITE: what is there to do? DAVESPRITE: well DAVESPRITE: i was going to bring this sword to dave JADESPRITE: oh noo JADESPRITE: does that mean youre going to leave? DAVESPRITE: no DAVESPRITE: i was gonna say DAVESPRITE: im not in any shape for more adventuring DAVESPRITE: i figure this is probably my last stop JADESPRITE: :( DAVESPRITE: but maybe this is a way you can help JADESPRITE: you mean... JADESPRITE: that i should give him the sword? DAVESPRITE: if you want JADESPRITE: but i dont want to leave you here either DAVESPRITE: maybe you dont have to actually go anywhere DAVESPRITE: you oughta have a lot of special powers remember DAVESPRITE: because of ascending to doghood JADESPRITE: oh yeah! DAVESPRITE: try doing your spacey thing DAVESPRITE: i mean not to sound condescending or anything but its got to be like borderline omnipotence pretty much DAVESPRITE: just put your mind to it (p.3946)

knowing all of this about dave and jade’s personalities and how they work together, i’ve see people get on dave’s case about making jade slap herself in the face after she put the dead bird into his kernelsprite while he was preoccupied with taking a leak

dave freaks the hell out when he realizes she’s asleep; he needs to wake her up because she needs to help him get into the game while requires pragmatism and reasonable actions so that he’s not crushed to death by an imminent meteor. or falling plumbing fixtures. the goal wasn’t to show her who’s in control or whatever or to be mean (do people seriously think he would do that to be mean to her just to slap a girl?) it was strictly to wake her up since he has no means of influencing that besides getting creative

while asleep, jade doesn’t think logically and certainty not to the extent dave needs her to be right now. she’s scattered lalalalala and can forget about limitations or consequences in the real world and also has a short memory span while dreaming: e.g. “4 hours until what?” and she put something into the kernelsprite right after dave asked her not to because she forgor </3 and jade does acknowledge this about her dreaming self btw

GG: i mean, i only talked to you when i was asleep! i am kind of different when im dreaming... GG: i forget things, and at times im not totally sure whats real GG: dont you remember thats what its like to dream on prospit? (p.3056)

dave literally says “we need to wake you up youre not very logical like this” and he does apologize about making her dreambot wake-up slap her

i also see people say that dave thought of jade as helpless and he needs to be the hero and that's why "davejade is not good actually"

TG: but ok i mean isnt that what heroes should be doing TG: working to take down the bad guy without a whole lot of this fuckin grandiloquence and these huge sweeping plans that got nothin to do with fighting him TG: like always biding our time and tiptoeing around the unbeatable god boss TG: johns too nice to get mad TG: rose spends all her time calculating TG: too focused on machiavellian ploys of sabotage to try anything drastic TG: jade is TG: i dont even know TG: probably more a liability if she got it in her head to take him down TG: if anything id bet she just needs protection GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU S4Y1NG H3R3 D4V3, 1N TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON TH4T 1S ST1LL B31NG 4BOUT YOU TG: im just wondering TG: when does someone actually step up TG: jacks got shit to pay for (p.3703)

this minor thread gets followed up on in the pesterlog where jade contacts dave and eventually she concludes jack needs to be stopped and dave's like ... "oh shit" in his head. "oh shit" as in jade's got Game good for her go jade, "oh shit" as in she's going to be ripe for the stabbing cause the idea is in her head now, and "oh shit" as in this moment is the seed of why im going to have to rehearse jade accidentally killing me over and over and i cant tell her about it. due to this he is always fated to die in the alpha timeline both standing up to jack and to protect jade. it's woven into his story. but he was wrong about everyone else also! which i dont see brought up when that quote is used? rose does something drastic (pilots the moon into the furthest ring) and john gets mad (on the ship) and jade is the opposite of needing protection (she’s the only one jack won’t stab and also she ends up so fucking OP she has to be basically written out of act 6) so it's less a thing about jade specifically but to show that in hindsight dave was wrong about ALL his friends. which is an interesting discussion to be had about him in itself, but not now. this is the most sane and well-thought out interpretation of it ive seen

"In general, though, I think Dave has a tendency not uncommon to [thirteen] year olds (or… humans in general, if we’re being honest here) to cast everyone else as a player in his own story and characterize them in ways that fit what he wants. There’s the famous chunk where he says John never gets angry, Rose will never stop scheming long enough to take action, and Jade’s a liability, only to be proven wrong in every count. That fits his understanding of these people and his ideal relationship with them - friend, actor, protector, the one in the group who can be the hero." "Yes, I think Dave probably saw Jade as the most supportive and least judgmental friend. I’m not sure if that impacted his incorrect judgment of her since that’s kind of a pattern for him in general, but I guess it could’ve."

and also putting this solely on dave is kind of ... ehhhhh? because john says the same thing about jade but i don't see anyone getting on his case for it.

CG: SHE AND DAVE RAN INTO JACK, WHICH I'M SURE HE MUST HAVE SAW COMING BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE EXPLOIT TIME TRAVEL SO SHAMELESSLY AS HIM, NOT EVEN ARADIA. CG: SO SHE AND DAVE FOUGHT WITH HIM A WHILE, AND LONG STORY SHORT, HE DIED. EB: what!!! CG: BUT IT'S FINE, I GUESS THAT WAS HIS PLAN, LIKE SOME BIZARRE USELESS LAST STAND, EVEN IF HE DIDN'T TELL JADE WHO WAS PRETTY FREAKED OUT UNTIL I TALKED HER THROUGH IT. CG: JADE SAYS SHE HAS THIS FIGURED OUT, AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO MUCH BUT TRUST HER. CG: THE POINT IS, SHE'S ALL BOOKED UP, AND ALL TOO MORTAL. SO SHE WON'T BE DELIVERING THE BOMB, AND NEITHER WILL YOU. EB: ok, well what about this. EB: since she is mortal, and i am not (sort of), and i don't need to do the scratch for a while, can i go help her? EB: maybe she could use some protection? maybe that is what dave was just trying to do, when he temporarily died. EB: remember, jack is still on the loose! he has killed rose and dave once, and me twice. CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO. CG: SWEET BLEEDING JEGUS, EGBERT, YOU KEEP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR IMMORTALITY, AND THEN BRAINLESSLY ANNOUNCE PLANS TO GO OFF AND DO SOMETHING HEROIC! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE SHORTEST LIFESPAN OF ANY IMMORTAL IN HISTORY. EB: sorry. :( CG: BESIDES, IT'S A TOTAL NON ISSUE. JACK WOULDN'T HESITATE TO STAB YOU AGAIN, BUT HE WON'T HURT JADE FOR SOME REASON. CG: IF ANYTHING, YOU COULD USE HER PROTECTION. (p.3869 / 3871)

and also keep in mind dave does absolutely change his perception about jade's strength??

DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that (p.6384)

DAVE: gotta keep em napping DAVE: especially jade im sure you know what kind of crooked ass baloneyfuck powers she got DAVE: cant let her turn those against us (p.7485)

so back to grimbark jade and the switching of these roles, dave doesn’t entirely lose his pragmatic bent. that’s still the way he thinks about stuff through but his time on the meteor has softened him and allowed him to become more reflective on big-picture things such as his role in everything

ironically this is the exact reason for his clash with grimbark jade is because she’s trying really hard to make him do stuff and it’s stuff that he’s not going to budge on because he doesn’t think it’s practical

JADE: why not? JADE: our empress can hardly have a knight with such rusty combat skills in her service DAVE: will you cut it out with the evil jade baloney DAVE: im not going to fight you DAVE: my rooftop dueling days are OVER JADE: en garde! DAVE: ugh DAVE: even if we just went balls out jackass BANANAS with our swords here i mean realistically how much appreciable advancement in my battle skills would even result from that DAVE: are you actually thinking this through or just going through the vaguely nefarious motions that come with the territory of being evildog!jade JADE: im gonna go through the vaguely nefarious motions of kicking your ass in a minute if you dont put up your dukes!!! DAVE: yeah you probably will DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that JADE: by using your time trickery! JADE: come on dave do your timey thing JADE: get creative, make lots of copies of yourself or something... outsmart me! DAVE: no! JADE: yes!!! DAVE: ok here i go JADE: !!!!! DAVE: wait DAVE: nah JADE: grrr JADE: dave, just try a little time travel to get this fight started JADE: see look, one of your time doubles is surely predestined to come from a few minutes in the future and appear behind me for a surprise attack, riiiight about... JADE: now! JADE: ... JADE: no wait JADE: riiiiiiiiiight... JADE: ... JADE: ... JADE: NOW! JADE: .... JADE: ..... JADE: dave why is your future self being such a wet blanket DAVE: i told you DAVE: im not time traveling DAVE: i think im giving it up for good actually (p.6384)

one thing floral mentions in her post is that dave is pushing jade for answers about her failed relationship with davesprite

DAVE: why are you dragging that guy into this DAVE: what happened with you and him anyway JADE: none of your business >:p DAVE: it kind of is DAVE: hes bird me DAVE: that clearly means i have a right to know JADE: that doesnt make any sense! DAVE: you said he had issues DAVE: what issues JADE: augh! JADE: forget i mentioned it DAVE: was he talking shit about me the whole time or something DAVE: i know he resents me for being the real dave JADE: dont say that, you arent the real dave! JADE: well you are, but phrasing it like that is so mean! JADE: hes just as real as you, and when you imply he isnt you sound like a jerk!!! DAVE: man i knew it DAVE: i knew he was poisoning your view of me all those years DAVE: and i wasnt there to say anything or defend against his slander so now of course you think im a neurotic douche (p.6386)

and while it is true nobody is obligated to share the details of their relationship, there is a LOT of evidence to believe dave was asking because he wants to be a good person and, to me his words here, and his past and future actions relative to this point, show that he’s not as messed up of a person as grimbark jade is making him out to be. let’s dive into it. think on this: why does dave care so much what jade thinks about him? he started getting “neurotic” halfway through the conversation once jade brought up her feelings about him

JADE: THE ONLY REASON I THINK YOURE A NEUROTIC DOUCHE IS BECAUSE YOURE ACTING LIKE ONE NOW!!! DAVE: yeah but i only started acting like a neurotic douche like half way through this conversation DAVE: you clearly had an axe to grind with me from the start and i want to know why DAVE: what did i ever do to deserve this shit from you JADE: YOU BROKE MY HEART!!!!!! DAVE: what DAVE: i did DAVE: when (p.6386)

he’s genuinely so lost because he hadn’t had contact with any extension of jade in 3 years. alpha timeline dave has been sensitive towards jade for basically forever and especially now that he’s had time to grow up. he is not going to allow any version of himself hurt jade, and thats why hes asking so many questions to her about the nature of the relationship and what happened

JADE: ok not you JADE: davesprite did JADE: BUT YOURE BASICALLY THE SAME GUY! DAVE: whoa no way DAVE: thats such an unfair characterization we are completely different dudes JADE: you just said you had a right to know what happened between us because, and i quote, "hes bird me" DAVE: no i know DAVE: i was playing the "hes bird me" card because it was convenient to whatever it was i was saying at the time DAVE: i forget what point i was making when i said that JADE: *growl* DAVE: but thats not the point im making now DAVE: he and me are just DAVE: crazy different yo DAVE: hes got fuckin wings!!! DAVE: he also presumably takes a dump and lays eggs out of the same ghostly hole DAVE: ... DAVE: ew man whyd i have to go there JADE: *SNARL* DAVE: ok if he broke up with you or whatever that was because of his dumb bird issues not my issues DAVE: theres no way i would have done that to you (p.6386)

what dave means to say by “hes bird me because it was convenient to say at the time but it doesnt apply to this circumstance” is exactly what i was getting at in part 1 of this series of posts. yes, they are the same people at their very foundation, different reflections of a single character, but up to a point. there’s a gray area of whether or not we can call dave and davesprite the same person. in terms of this conflict though, dave should be regarded as a separate individual because of their diverging history up to that point and adolescent-teenage growth in different environments and under different circumstances. even if dave doesn't know what hes trying to say

he wants to know what this alternate version of himself did to hurt jade so much. even if grimbark jade really is bringing dave into some shit he had nothing to do with.

see the thing is, to me dave could have easily handled being accused a lot worse and say something like “youre overreacting” or something. that wouldve been dickish. but he doesn’t, he never does. he really seems to be more motivated by like, “woah what?? whats his problem? are these about issues i still have and dont know they were hurting jade or are they uniquely davesprite’s?”

like, this isn’t a joke to him even if his main form of communication through humor to lighten the mood (jade loves dave’s silliness dont forget all the times she’s giggled because dave was “so silly” and “hes a funny guy”). immediately after rescuing the mayor from eviljade’s lava kick, he was going to give davesprite a piece of his mind and this shows he is sincerely concerned about what an alternate version of himself did to break jade’s heart. he REALLY fuckin wants closure on it because he cares about her feelings so much

i don’t see this other side covered in floral’s post, but evildog jade here is Also pushing dave to do something that he is uncomfortable with as well, which is to use time travel.

dave stopped time traveling so he wouldn’t “have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody”, stating he was “never that cool with it” to rose back in act 5. around the same time when karkat talks to john, he says “TO MY KNOWLEDGE, HE DOESN'T TIME TRAVEL AFTER [FIGHTING JACK WITH JADE], AND HE AND ROSE STAY ON DERSE WAITING FOR THE BOMB UNTIL YOU START THE SCRATCH” which honestly makes me think that whole event was the nail in the coffin for dave on time traveling. seeing himself die fighting jack and knowing it was coming and he couldnt tell jade no matter how much he wanted to that her bullets were going to be the cause. this is the last straw for him regarding time traveling it affected him that much

remember the last lines of pesterlog jade had with dave before being separated? i mentioned it earlier--the one where jade decided jack needs to be stopped and they should “come up with a better plan than Rose’s suicide mission to stop him. Dave suggests the idea is futile, but lets her know she’d come to her own decision regardless, and he’d be available to talk later if needed” (from recap 3)

GG: well maybe im just being naive... GG: but a crazy suicide mission does not sound like the ideal solution to me! GG: are you suuuure we cant beat him? GG: i dont know if we should rule it out! TG: well TG: youre about to do what youre about to do TG: and im not going to tell you not to TG: i wont do the bullshit troll thing and tell you what youre going to do and then just dare you not to TG: while knowing damn well you will anyway TG: so ill just say TG: whats next is up to you TG: and if later you want to talk about it TG: im here GG: ok GG: thanks dave! (p.3204)

this was dave’s nice causality-free way of saying “youre going to end up killing me during the jack fight that winds up happening. i cant tell you that im going to die and that youre going to be the one to shoot me, because i know you wouldnt go through with it. that would drag us in a doomed timeline and we’d all die anyway, not just me. youre probably going to be freaked out when it happens since i can’t tell you this, so if you want to talk me about it later, ill be here for you”

which, first of all is, holy shit. he cares about her and her feelings so fucking much. and it’s nothing new

TT: What about why you went to fight Jack? TG: sure TG: i did that TG: because i wanted to TG: and because i was supposed to TT: Are you sure? TG: yeah i saw my future self fighting him so obviously that had to happen or else id be dead anyway TG: without even getting the satisfaction of standing up to him TT: So what about Jade? TG: what TT: You didn't tell her your expedition with her would result in your death, let alone one she'd inadvertently cause. TT: Or that she'd be stuck with the job of resuscitating you. Did you? TG: what am i really supposed to say TG: hey were gonna hunt frogs til you shoot me through the jack TG: then i die and youve got to make out with me TG: that kind of changes how the whole thing goes doesnt it TT: Not if you're "supposed to," right? TG: what does that even mean TT: I guess you're right. No reason to make an effort to empathize if doing so comes at the price of oblivion. TG: wtf TT: It must be comforting to have your ASPD tacitly supported by predestination. TG: aspd TT: Antisocial personality disorder. TG: oh no TG: this conversation just got bumrushed by a mudslide of fucking awful TT: It wasn't already awful, believing you might be dead? TG: you dont know anything TG: about what i was feeling or what happened on lofaf TG: you were all pavement faced and babbling your throefester speak and flipping off the shit with your own crazy deathwish thing why do you think you know what was going through my head TG: youre just assuming and throwing around psyche buzzwords like aspd complex disorder TG: im telling you if i said anything at all about it she probably doesnt even fire her gun once and all im doing is dragging her into a doomed timeline with me TT: I guess I'm learning to be impressed by your sense of obligation to inevitable misfortune. It's a strange case of inspiration through futility. TG: none of this is that big a deal TG: i just mentioned the basics to her TG: that id stop time traveling soon TG: break out of the loops TG: not have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody TG: i was never that cool with this (p.3896)

dave got suddenly super fucking defensive about rose making assumptions about how he felt about fighting jack and knowing jade was going to inadvertently kill him, knowing damn well how jade reacts to seeing corpses (remember that time dave threw his slain body out the window so jade wouldnt see it because “it would probably freak her out”), and the fact that he couldn’t warn her to protect the alpha timeline and also protect both of them and everyone from falling into a doomed timeline. and he knew it was coming the whole time. he was right, rose didn’t know what was going through his head. but his defensiveness here means he had strong feelings about it. not only that but dave saying “whats next is up to you, and if later you want to talk about it, im here” shows the amount of trust he has towards her

we see him tell this to grimbark jade straight up his thought process for why he stopped time traveling. and it’s spot on with what i said. again, remember that this is the first conversation he has with jade after 3 years being separated

DAVE: but see with time travel DAVE: all the stuff about learning it so you dont have to use it is true DAVE: theres no good that can come of it DAVE: you can crunch the logic on the loops all you want DAVE: but all youre doing is painting yourself into a corner DAVE: creating inevitabilities you have to rehearse and enact or face death for yourself or everyone you know DAVE: and sometimes facing death is the very inevitability you have to rehearse DAVE: and then you wait and wait knowing its coming and knowing it has to happen DAVE: how do you think it made me feel when we were gathering up all those frogs DAVE: and i knew the whole time in a little while you would have to watch me get shot DAVE: but i couldnt say anything or it would mess it all up DAVE: all cause i thought it would be cool to be marty mcfuckin fly DAVE: but instead of shredding johnny b goode on guitar to get my parents to bang DAVE: my crowning performance was doing a funny dance while getting pumped full of lead JADE: ...... (p.6385)

and what fucking broke me yesterday was realizing after all this time, ironically it was DAVE who wound up being the one who had to talk to jade about it.

JADE: sorry dave, you lost me there after the part where i shot you DAVE: damn DAVE: ok lemme start over (p.6385)

“damn ok lemme start over” bro he really wants to open up to her about this thing he’s been stewing on for three years only for it to fall on deaf mind controlled ears. it’s so fucking sad

part 3 is cooking and it’s going to be about dave’s character growth post-meteor and what that means for dave and jade

#homestuck #homestuck meta #davejade #dave strider #jade harley #homestuck analysis #hs

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brambleghastblast · 23 days

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i think a depressing truth of the internet ill always hate is that negativity is what leads to success

negativity, in forms of content creation, leads to comments of people arguing or saying "but i like that thing". comments lead to the algorithms of social media boosting said piece of comic. algorithm favoring your stuff leads to more views. views get you money

often times, i think most youtubers and tiktokers and people on twitter and whatnot actually force themselves to be negative out of necessity. because its the quickest and easiest way to get a post out there. and its really become a norm in social media thats made the internet suffocatingly bad lately

like.. take pokemon for example, youtubers and tiktokers and twitter users such talking about pokemon will complain to no end about graphics, taking the worst possible screenshots they can get or setting up elaborate glitches so they can take a picture, put it next to another game with the prettiest picture they can get, and then go "WOW CAN U BELIEVE GAMEFREAK MAKES STUFF LIKE THIS" which then starts arguments and spreads like a wildfire because people are pointing out "wow you really took the worst picture you could huh" but then random people desperate to argue go "UHHH GAMEFREAKS NOT GONNA MARRY U DUDE LOL" blah blah blah

or take some specific youtubers for instance, like videogamedunkey is a critic who usually lies about video games he dislikes, makes up stuff or complains about really little stuff, or tries to get glitches to happen to pretend the whole games like that. a reallyyy scummy youtuber but thats literally what he has to do to make money and that sucks! or like... alpharad whos kind of just an obnoxious jerk all the time and thats how he gets his attention because being a jerk gets you comments and comments get you views etc etc

the youtube channel gamexplain got exposed for not paying employees and fell off HARD.. but they made a full recovery and comeback. they used to post informative nintendo and other games news, but lately theyve just been posting negative memes or complaining about really little things or posting negative news with a clickbait title. like.. nintendos doing some reconstruction at their headquarters. so gamexplain posts this

its... just reconstruction. but the big letters, the sad mario, it looks Worrying and causes clicks and comments. its literally just reconstruction. but oh wow with a thumbnail like this they can fearmonger and milk it

it stinks too because generally positive youtubers are... Rare. most positive youtubers fall really hard and barely get any views compared to the big bad youtubers out there, cause theres not a ton to comment on without negativity. and thats so.. sad. (bumping a youtuber i love a lot here; nekolacey is a really great and positive pokemon youtuber and i love her videos!!! but her videos dont really get a lot of views compared to other channels which i find so sad. shes awesome!!)

i think the only generally positive gaming youtuber i know of who actually had a big following was chuggaaconroy, and he was making videos on youtube for MANY MANYYY years to even just get 1 million subscribers.

and then he got cancelled because of... uh... a chatlog from 2009. and... uh...... some out of context discord messages from some youtuber whos been known to falsely accuse autistic people to get allegations on them. and.... apparently some randos named antdude and missfushigaming made up allegations to get some clout but they got proved false... uhh... and also chuggaaconroy went to therapy, apologized a ton, asked everyone to please not harass the accusers, and has been deeply working for years to work on himself because he did have a geniune falling out with masaeanela over him not following set boundaries.

but.... yeahhhh its. uh. when you point out "wow did anything bad happen beyond a falling out with masaeanela" you're kind of just quickly hushed by a bunch of random people and to accept it and quit. they can't afford for that positivity to change the way things are, they need negativity to thrive.

its.. the internet trying its hardest to push down one positive creator who made it so they can hype up a dozen negative ones.

i think the internet has always awarded negativity but it was never really bad. like.. many youtubers back in the day would make top 10s, listing something like "zelda bosses" or "gen 4 pokemon". these were great because they got to gush about something they like, BUT they'd get comments and arguments because of things like "well i would've put ths boss over that boss" or "why isnt crobat on this list!". it worked great because they got clout from comments, but they weren't being actively negative

or, talking about an internet show i LOVE, death battle! this is a fun show where they take two fictional characters and make them fight! and they research to see who wins and have really great animation!

it thrived because not only is it super good, but it causes arguments. most viewers dont care about the real reasoning and numbers, they just want their prefered character to win. so if there preference loses, even if its right, they will get mad and argue, causing comments which cause views which causes success.

unfortunately, the positive ways to get comments just... hardly last. its sad but in the modern internet, being mad and angry is literally how you succeed. its near impossible to make it online if you arent angry or doing stuff to upset people.

it sucks. so much.

and it sucks even more because people trying to make a living on the internet Have to be negative. thats how they make a living. they literally have to complain to make money and survive and it sucks!! so much!!!!!!!!!

i think overall success on the internet always depended on causing arguments and negativity, but its really become suffocating in recent time. everyone tries so hard to be mad they've geniunely become mad. positivity is rare and out of style, negativity is what everyone wants. its.... so....... miserable honestly

#youtube #youtube channel #twitter #tiktok #pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #gamexplain #nintendo #chuggaaconroy #therunawayguys #death battle

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ksiezniczkadepresyjna · 1 month

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In middle school I had a teacher who would spend every lesson 1. bitching how we were all useless good-for-nothings, 2. how much her daughters (somewhere in the 5-9 age range i believe) were so much better than other children, us included, 3. fixating on eating disorders, and 4. fixating on motherhood. She didnt teach us anything important, it was a class we only took for a year called "technics", idk if uou burgers have it, we mainly did the basics of technical drawing and some simple paper crafts -- thats of course if we were doing anything at all that was related to the subject, she made us do a paper on anorexia and bulimia for whatever fucking reason at some point. For additional context, we were 13-14 and it was an all girls class (not a fancy all girls school, just a normal, rather shitty public middle school, the class just happened to have no boys). Her teaching technique was to spend nearly an hour lecturing us about how useless we were for not knowing how to do shit in the vein of cleaning windows, how her 8 year old daughter already cleans windows, and then do maybe half the work, and then talk about her personal life some more, necesarilly mentioning something about anorexia being bad for you because it fucks with your fertility. And at some point you just kind of recognize, there's no arguing with this kind of person, especially when shes in the position of power and authority, and has been for years. So we'd say shit to intentionally make her angry, I remember one day she was telling us how wonderful her daugher was for already knowing how to make cereal for herself - and I kid you not, the kid only poured dry flakes into a bowl because she wouldnt allow her to handle hot milk yet. Of course the overarching theme being, "you useless shits cant even feed yourself", i guess she started questioning us if we make our own breakfast? And one of my friends fuxking told her she doesnt know how to make a sandwich lol. And she fucking fell for the bait immedieately. But the one to make her the most livid was yours truly, księżniczkadepresyjna. One day she was going off about, i dont even remember what, but it was something to do with being a mother, and how its basically the most important thing ever - to a class of kids barely out of elementary school, i bet half of us havent even really hit puberty yet. And so I said, "i have greater ambitions than to be an incubator". She got sooo fucking mad lol, im pretty sure she spent whatever classtime remained just screaming at me. Just to clarify - im not an antinatalist, i wasnt back then, I find reddit tier "crotch goblin" talk fucking disgusting. To be honest, I didnt even have any "great ambitions" either. I obviously wasnt considering motherhood at all at 13, as I was too invested in watching animeys and fnaf gameplays. Idk if theres even a message in this anectode. Aside from that woman being fucking nuts and unqualified to work with children. Also, as far as I remember, her fixation with eating disorders came from her laying in a hospital bed next to an emaciated anorexic girl once, and I think her niece(?) or some somewhat distant relative had an ed.

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nicomrade · 7 months

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I don't think my original message was sent (or maybe I'm getting confused, haha). My question is, how do you interpret the gap between chapter 538 and 539? What is your perspective on the ending? And most of all, how do you think Baku is still alive? Some believe that Baku really died and lives symbolically in Souichi (I recommend you read Waty's review of Usogui to better understand this point, you can find it on AniList) and others that he faked his death.

As a personal theory, I think the one who says the words "Welcome back, Madarame Baku" in chapter 537 is not Gonen, but Anoma (in fact, on the last page of that chapter we can see Anoma + Gonen + the welcome phrase, which is curious, since Anoma has no relation to the scene). I think Sako has been misleading us with the timeline, making us think that Abi Khan and Anoma's conversation happens in parallel with Baku's "death", but what if that's in the past? And Anoma (for whatever reason, I still can't tell you why he decided to do that) revives Baku with a defibrillator device like Marco did with Hal and hence his words of "Welcome back, Madarame Baku". Baku returned from a death that seemed final. It should also be added that the phrase he uses refers to Baku in a formal way, but not in a close or hierarchical relationship (he does not call him Leader or Baku-san, for example).

Another good point would be that Sako may have planned from the beginning that Baku would survive, since in chapter 147 (epilogue of the Labyrinth arc) we see a flashforward in which Baku is visiting an awakened Yukiide (he woke up during STL) in spring (hence the cherry trees), so it's been a few months since he became the Leader of Kakerou. So, this scene could take place after Baku's "death", close to leaving for Las Vegas to meet Kaji, Marco and Hal. Also, we never see his right hand (he has it in his pocket) so Sako doesn't show us his missing finger.

i couldnt find the anilist review, if you have a link to it i will hapilly read through!

the ending is very fast paced and (purposefully) doesnt give us a lot of answers, i dont think much about it because im personally not interested in speculating on what happens after/in between the gaps BUT i will try my best to answer everything you brought up!

im not OPPOSED to highly symbolic readings (god knows i love symbolism myself) but i do like the much more literal interpretation better. baku is alive with kaji & marco at the end because he is literally alive, and survived somehow, the same way he "survived somehow" the first STL, because baku always finds a way to live. but also- while i DO think the epilogue is trying to make us think baku dies after gonen pulls out the joker, i dont see how the dialogue actually supports this idea that baku was also betting his life here? gonen is asked to bet his OWN life so hes allowed to join in the gamble and flip the card but i dont see a confirmation that bakus own life is ever in the balance in that particular bet with gonen specifically. it IS the moment where gonen (literally) beats baku and (symbolically) takes his place (as the bigger evil and as the gambler who keeps on winning- also his spot as the one fighting against kakerou and souichi, and bakus "heart", etc.) but to me it at best maybe implies another gamble between them that isnt shown instead? like i dont think the joker was flipped and they shot baku here & there lol (and i highly doubt it was a STL game). theres a whole aftermarth to this we are not shown. what i wanna get to here is just asking, am i the one missing something? where does it say/imply baku is also betting his life VS gonen? i could just be silly & missing something i definitely dont notice everything going on in usogui its very dense lol the only thing i get is the prince bee narration saying he "never got up again"?

i love your theory about anoma being the one talking, like i dont think gonen would welcome baku back ever? not in this context anyway? and again, the epilogue is so vague on purpose there are probably a 100 hints with no pay-off/reveals. misdirections and foreshadowing are usoguis bread and butter and i think its very fitting for the epilogue to give us SO MUCH while actually saying SO LITTLE. it could 100% be anoma talking here i agree, and hinting at some involvement he had that we dont see.

i also love what you said about chapter 147 i didnt catch that (i straight up forgot this happened at all cause i never finished my minotaur labyrinth reread its the arc i like the least for some reason?) thank you for telling me about it, especially the cherry tree that serves as a season indication is 100% true but i wouldnt have caught it myself cause i always forget about this kind of time indication. i wonder if it happens before or after the gonen gamble indeed? this is very interesting to me because i have a whole thing about the parallels between souichi and yukiide (sorry yukiide for only liking you for the role you can fill for me.... i swear i also like him as a character but im always looking at his plot beats in the context of him being a mirror character for souichi)

last thing is ill try to answer this bit: "how do you interpret the gap between chapter 538 and 539? What is your perspective on the ending?" so i think we can think of the gap between 538 and 539 similarly to the gap between, like, the 2001 STL and the start of the story. baku has done this before, he will lay low and hide in the shadows before being ready to put his big plan in motion. in hangman he says he planned to stay in the shadow for longer but seeing souichi face to face he had to change his plans- i think this gap is something similar to this. theres a wrestling poster thats visible in the las vegas shots too, right? i think we can know what year the las vegas stuff happens in that way, and that will give a lot of information on what that gap looked like. i wish i had more of a big analysis about this but filling the gaps in the epilogue has never been my priority. what i DO care about in the epilogue is the uhm heart transplant stuff lol. under the cut cause its my own personal rant where i argue for why a part of the epilogue shouldnt be considered canon (which is a pretty heretical position to defend, im aware)

so uhm, the heart transplant stuff, uh? i kind of have hated that reveal/retcon ever since i read it and its always sat weirdly with me but i didnt think about it much, like blocking it out of my mind, except for during my 2nd read through (and the times id reread the epilogue like some morbid curiosity- maybe this time itll go differently? maybe this time they wont try to lie to me?) not that i think its BAD i like the epilogue as a WHOLE but the heart transplant thing ugh i always just skim over unconsciously i dont wanna engage with it too much because so heres the thing

that line about how its totally real cause "baku shouldve been taking medication quite frequently" and its like. well he HASNT? been doing that? and its drawn super similarly to how baku eats his kariume. are you trying to tell me that his kariume was heart medication all along? what about his obsession with plums in general, and on protoporos when he imports kariume for himself? about protoporos actually- how did a man with a diseased heart who has to take medication survive 24 days on an island with no access to said meds. including a couple days of running outside in the rain chased by a literal angry mob? and then drowning?. baku, as written in the story, DEMONSTRABLY DOES NOT! have a diseased heart. when did this transplant happen???????

baku literally already struggles with sprinting when he first meets hal in 1998- souichi EASILY follows after him and is barely tired when baku is on the floor shaking for his life. are you telling me the heart transplant happened BEFORE this????????? or he already had poor stamina even before and then it cant be appropriate foreshadowing for this. so you were just lying to me about the hints and it really does come out of nowhere. ok.

i dont even mind when/if usogui does retcon stuff (/have reveals that were very much not planned from chapter 1) it is OKAY to write new stuff in your story and about your characters as you go along. it is foolish to try to argue only stuff planned from even before you ever started writing is canon and true. this is not my point. my point is that this reveal CONTRADICTS the actual text that came BEFORE. it has retroactive impact that is nonsensical and downright absurd. this is the exact kind of writing i criticize in stuff like one outs or liar game, but praise usogui in comparison. usogui does lie to you about stuff sometimes, but that misdirection, those lies, ADD meaning to the text. (im always talking about this on twitter i can pull up threads if i need to explain this stuff more) the heart transplant reveal REMOVES meaning. so what meaning does it remove exactly?

one of Usogui's (manga) thesis statements is that to be human is to be FLAWED. this is why hangman ends the way it does (and why its kind of bad they changed it in the movie- though i do get it) its what kyara's arc in protoporos is about, and its what souichis entire character journey shows. i dislike calling souichi "the ultimate human being" because his character arc is about accepting that he ISNT, actually, perfect. that he, too, is flawed and can lose and is scared of dying and is HUMAN. souichi loses drop the handkerchief because he had this weakness (chronic memory loss) that usogui exploited. and for all he tried to make up for it, or make it into a weapon instead, it was still a flaw. and its what made him human. and for him to believe himself capable of not being human anymore, of transcending it, is a lie. and usogui ate that lie. and he reminded souichi that hes human- and loved. and loved. and so so loved. and that he has the potential to become so much greater still- BECAUSE hes human and BECAUSE he tasted defeat and is flawed. thats the basic gist behind drop the handkerchief.

and this weakness of souichi, his chronic memory loss, is inherent to him. theres no reason it happened. textually theres no reason to it. its, yeah, the pressure of having to be Perfect, and being the Leader of kakerou, but we know from the doctor's email that medically they couldnt find a reason for it- yes there are reasons for it, but theyre so inherent to him, to his bloodline, that he couldnt be souichi and NOT have this flaw. there is no version of souichi (or hachina, or hal) that does NOT struggle with memory loss. he has this weakness simply because hes alive.

bakus one core flaw is his weak constitution. baku cant run up stairs (see the abandonned building arc) anything that COULD be life-threatening becomes a death sentence for him (see the minotaur labyrinth arc) he CANNOT defend himself (marco & kyaras roles as bodyguards + all the times someone threatened him with violence) his body is WEAK. it just is. what the heart transplant does is take all of this and make it the result of losing a gamble once, years ago. is this inherent to him? was this always fated to happen? we dont even SEE the gamble this happened in! it CANNOT be this important! but if we forget about the heart transplant for a second, his weak body becomes just a part of his character, with no visible cause. maybe its a side effect of how he grew up on his own without anyone to play with so he never exercised, and possibly malnourished & homeless half of the time. but either way its a cause thats so at the core of who he is that for that not to have happened he wouldnt be usogui (or madarame baku) anymore. there is no version of him who had a happy, safe childhood and is still usogui. sounds familiar? and for souichis weakness to be mental and bakus weakness to be physical.. isnt it meaningful to have their fates mirrored and tied in that way?

baku & souichi(/hal) fates being tied together is also another CORE aspect of usogui's story! not just with the ship glasses on its literally just... the emotional core of the story is their relationship (whether romantic or platonic or whatever). if your reveal in chapter 538 out of 539 (i repeat, its in the second to LAST chapter) is contradicted by its own "foreshadowing", does not stand on its own, and weakens TWO very important aspects of your story, then i think im allowed to consider it not canon or true. uhm, "youre a big liar, arent you?" if you will.

#usogui meta #ask #lkingyoya #you dont have to read the whole tangent about the heart transplant if ure not interested i just need to like #exorcise it out of my brain 😭i think its half of why i dont engage w the epilogue much i really dislike it so much

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dumbbitchfrommars · 2 years

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who knew i how much i appreciated a chill night in. i am absolutely knackered though last night was fun. i need to learn to handle my liquor, or just not drink at all. its fucking up my skin and mental health and honestly i feel so concerned while i work that ill end up like those addicts. anyway, tomorrow i will eat extra to makeup up for lost time yesterday and today.

so.... i have feelings for my friend. he is sweet and charming and so so kind, and i know he likes me too, he literally has since the day we met. its been, what? two years since we met? that’s crazy. i havent been ready for the longest time. ive known i liked him for ages as well. i kissed him on my birthday. i feel like things happen between us whenever theres some alcohol in our systems. but at the same time, its like it reveals the truth. i have less fear to act on my feelings. the stolen glances and smiles to each other, the way he’d come to me just from a look. like a magnet pulled us together constantly. i wasn’t interested in anyone but him... maybe one girl but its different with her, more flirtacious and no strings attached.

anyway, towards the end of the night i ended up next to him in his bed. i get so nervous with him. but i feel like a little girl. like, just the biggest most wholesome schoolgirl crush. i invited him to dinner and he agreed. so theres my olive branch after two years of mixed messages. my mum likes him, i like him, he has great friends, i like him on an intellectual and physical level. which is crazy, cause for the longest time i didnt want to like him on a physical level.

i think this whole experience, of having these feelings but trying to push them down on account for my physical preference, has taught me alot. its not fair to body shame someone. i have struggled with feeling inadequate for my body when i have no control over it. imagine if id just been accepted as a girl, i wouldve been able to enjoy my stumbling deer days when i was supposed to be lanky and skinny and awkward. so, i want to accept him as he is, and maybe that could help me grow in my own way too.

there’s no denying i feel a little weird about it, but its just so different with him, compared to scorpion, cause i genuinely am attracted to him. hes flirty and assertive and interesting and a darling. i dont want to be afraid of having feelings for someone again. i want to be open and ready. i am ready. ive been seeing 888 999 and 555. change and transcendence. perhaps a transformational relationship. or romantic friendship? i dont want to put any expectations to it. i just want to enjoy the connection we have.

anyway, i mainly wanted to come on here and gush about a certain moment last night. i can barely even remember what happened, or the context of the situation. i just know, he stroked my hair, and it made me feel like i was on fire. my stomach was going crazy and i looked straight into his eyes and ugh it was just magical and so seductive lol. i cant believe im even saying this! and then i instantly told him dont you do that, and smiled in that knowing way. how embarrassing!!!!! but also how sexy!!!!! he definitely wouldve known what i was thinking, and how i was feeling.

i am the worst at hiding my feelings. i wish i could be mysterious and sexy but the reality is im an open book and i am a professional at embarrassing myself. hopefully he doesnt remember. but also... hopefully he does. i like that he has that power/effect over me. i dont think ive felt genuine attraction like this to someone in the longest time. scorpion and my summer fling both made me cringe, they were hopeless and truly gave me the ick. i still dont understand how i managed to convince myself i had feelings for them.

but, this man is a libra, and hes wonderful, and i have feelings for him. i want to be better for him. i want to be there for him. i want him to be happy and to feel cared for... i dont know. i am so glad i got the courage to ask him to dinner. because i honestly have been wanting to for weeks now, but i didnt know how to ask. thank you God for bringing these opportunities into my lap! thank You for the protection you give me and the love i am surrounded by!!! xxxxxxoxoxo

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letters-to-barton · 2 years

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do you have any idea how many things had to go right for us to happen?

korea was closed for tourists, and i could only get a student visa. i was feeling kinda lazy, so although we got the offer to apply for a student visa and studying part time in a different location, i thought it seemed like too much work. i decided to postpone my trip, and left in late december instead of september.

you decided to come back to korea when you did. you could have likely chosen to go back sooner or later. it was for your enlistment that you came back after all, and although theres a time limit, you arent confined to a very specific timeframe to do it.

you got a job at EF. you befriended celia (to some degree.... lol), and accepted her invitation to join for dinner, which led to our meeting. celia happened to be in my class, which led to me going out to dinner with her in the first place.

you messaged me about valentines day after i posted a story on instagram, and although you maybe didnt intend it that way, i took it as a sign that you were interested. we made plans.

i think that after this point, we both made mistakes to some degree. some worse than others, obviously. although part of me regrets what happened here, its also a period of time that im grateful for; it led us to where we are now.

we met again at an activity, and decided to be friends. it gave me courage to ask you if you wanted to sit next to me on the bus to busan, the next activity. i dont even think i wouldve gone to the activity on my own, but me and aron thought it would be fun to see some place other than seoul, so we signed up together.

a lot of things happened in busan. refer back to previous post about your drunk behavior. anyway. you asked me to stay in your room, and we cuddled. i was lucky enough to have andreas there, who i explained the situation to (to some degree) and he agreed to switch rooms with me. hes the real mvp here

we decided to become fwb. i liked the arrangement, because i missed your closeness. and although you told me specifically "please dont fall in love with me", i did anyway. i swore to myself that i wasnt ready for a relationship after convincing myself i was the worst person alive, and you had already told me you would never consider involving yourself romantically with me again.

by some fucking miracle, you changed your mind. you slipped up, i dont remember the context, but you said something like "i wouldnt be dating you if you werent cool." "we're not even dating," i said. i didnt know how to take it. i was thinking about it constantly until you brought it up. i felt bad that i had maybe... gotten too close? i didnt want you to feel suffocated, or like you were getting into something you didnt want to.

you had to leave to get your drivers license. i was horribly in love, and i made time to talk to you every day. although i had more things i wanted to do in korea, i wanted to prioritize you not feeling lonely. i felt like you wanted/needed someone to talk to, and i wanted to be that person. i didnt want you to feel left out just because you werent here with your friends in person.

maybe it was just all the time we spent together the last few months. maybe it was the fact that we were fwb. maybe it was something else entirely. but holy fuck, so many things had to happen for us to end up where we are today. and i booked my ticket back to korea before even leaving korea. i had a lot of money left over from my initial EF budget, and it was enough to go back. you were so fucking worth going back for. and all these months will be even more worth it. i love you so much. i cant believe how many things had to happen before we could.

0 notes

dearheartwitcher · 2 years

Note

all odd numbers for the ask game! :)

oooo!! ok!! under the cut since thats quite a few aksdhfs

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

oh i have quite a few!! i guess i would say in like... chronological order..... john egbert, dave strider, sans + papyrus, geralt + jaskier, and a few of my + my bfs ocs :) if we're also counting like childhood comfort characters, theres also big bird and tigger 🥰

3. do you leave the window open at night?

most nights, yes! if its raining really hard or super super cold i will close it.

5. what color are your eyes?

green! i have a little bit of like... gold color around the insides but its not super visible mostly

7. hair-ties or scrunchies?

i use hair ties! i have lots of thick hair so scrunchies dont usually hold very well. i think theyre rly cute tho

9. which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

cold coffee usually 💕

11. favorite extracurricular activity?

reading mostly! drawing and playing games r also up there :) when i was in school i also liked playing my trumpet

13. when was the last time you ate?

a little bit ago! my aunt saved me the drumsticks from a rotisserie chicken she had the other day, i just ate em cold lol. i should have an actual meal soon tho

15. are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

not at all and i have no plans to be

17. are you farsighted or nearsighted?

oh very very nearsighted my eyesight is ATROCIOUS.

19. imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

um YES obviously, altho i cant guarantee i'd do an Excellent job

21. something you’ve kept since childhood?

lots of things :) lots of toys, my baby blankets, sketchbooks

23. how do you feel about chilly weather?

i like it! i usually like clothes better suited to chilly weather and i haaate being hot and sweaty

25. perfume/body spray or lotion?

mostly i use lotion and body spray :)

27. about how many hours of sleep did you get?

umm maybe 6? sometimes i get a little nap in too

29. how do you like your shower water?

hot but not burning Or in the summer i take a nice lukewarm or cool shower. if its Very hot outside i take a shower as cold as i can get it lol.

31. what type of music keeps you grounded?

thats a good question! i guess i dont really know. i dont think i seek out music that grounds me? or i could be misinterpreting the meaning of "grounding" in this context? i think maybe The Mountain Goats is as close as i can think of :)

33. the last adventure you’ve been on?

hmm. when my bf was visiting me last, we wanted to go bowling and when we got there it turned out to be league night lol. we ended up walking around town and stopping in a couple stores and getting dinner :) not a huge adventure but it was nice

35. what’s your timezone?

pacific!

37. someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

my friend laney! we met in preschool and were each others best + closest friends for basically all our childhoods. we still talk + hang out sometimes now :)

39. do you use lip balm?

yes! not every day but very often

41. how do you take your coffee?

very sweet 😋 i dont drink coffee at home lol

43. what’s your take on spicy foods?

personally i dont enjoy them very much aksjdfhs i can handle some level of spice i just dont like it the way some ppl do

45. can you remember what happened yesterday?

uh yeah! i hung out with my dogs mostly. my bf was at work and didnt have a very good day. i sent him some doordash when he got home, we watched The Mortuary Collection, and played sims a little bit

47. what was the last message you sent?

uhh lets see. hm. i am sorry to inform you that it was "car reproduction logistics"

49. can you skip rocks?

not super well but yeah!

#this was rly fun ty !!!#asks #stagfriend

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thetigerlatte · 3 years

Note

Hey i dont know if the requests are open or if this is how you request a reaction cuz im new to the app 😩😩but could I request a seventeen reaction to you wearing lingerie under their oversized tshirt or if theres too many to write for (lol damn ok 13 members leggo) to write for hiphop unit ? I live for your writings btw ❤️

Context: You and ‘member’ are cuddling in bed

Seungcheol

Calls you a naughty girl for hiding such beauty and has you cum on his face (any excuse to have you squirming and whining as he gets to eat out your delicious cunt)

Jeonghan

Totally kinky let’s be real - would probably say you look better with nothing on and proceed to rip the said garments off of your body (I hope he paid you back…) Then he’d wrap his large hand over your throat saying “I think you look good when you’re wearing me.”

Jisoo

Too embarrassed to say anything at first but would then start tracing it slowly with his fingers, eventually he’d slide it off (carefully *unlike SOME*) to slide in his long fingers instead

Junhui

Tells you how it is (you look hot) and proceeds to blame you for his boner but somehow manages to make you agree to letting him throat fuck you

Soonyoung

Would tease you for a while before giving in, but he’s too tired to have sex and let’s you cockwarm him instead (probably ends up fucking you anyway)

Wonwoo

Would somehow end up fucking your thighs because he didn’t want to stop cuddling

Jihoon

Doesn’t even mention it when he realises but instead starts rubbing at your clit through the garment and ends up fucking you from behind with the panties pushed to the side to let his girth in your hole

Minghao

Takes pictures bc he’s one damn artsy man (and he thinks you look really pretty) before making you cum around a dildo until you beg for his cock

Mingyu

Gets really cocky and straightforward (says you’d look better with it on the floor I-) would somehow ‘accidentally’ rip the clothing off (with his thicc muscles) and when you get pouty about it he says he’s sorry and will buy you lots more (ends up pounding into your hole anyways because who can refuse Kim Mingyu)

Seokmin

Really shy but wants you to ride him and when you feel the boner poking into your ass from behind, you get the message and do what he wants

Seungkwan

Thinks you look really cute and would totally take a picture for his Lock Screen. Other than that you end up with a needy Kwan that is looking for attention (which means he wants you to give him head :V)

Hansol

Let’s you ride him but doesn’t take it off you because you look damn hot and Hansol doesn’t want to take his eyes off you

Chan

Would continuously complement you on how good you look (and babble about how it’s his first time seeing lingerie in person) until your flushing from all of the attention, and when you try and disagree with his words he ends up showing you the new problem that you’ve created; meaning he wins in the argument because you look hawt

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strawberrybabydog · 2 years

Note

(Biggest apologies if I use any terms incorrectly, I’m still learning!)

Do you feel it would be okay for someone non-schizophrenic to have a schizophrenic character, as long as they make sure to do research on it and learn if it’s an accurate portrayal? I have an OC with schizophrenia and I do want to portray his disorder properly, but I’m now wondering if it might not be the best for me to write that into his story, given I don’t experience it myself

He’s a very kind character and I make sure to show that sanism(?) is harmful, if that helps (since I don’t want to seem like I’m wanting to demonize it/make him edgy)

honestly i dont really have an opinion on it. if youre going to write a schizophrenic character i'd recommend doing heavy research into schizophrenia and whatever his psychotic symptoms are if you choose to write him, and maybe even consulting real schizophrenic people about it too if you have questions

i notice that if a nonpsychotic writer canonically declares their character as living in psychosis, the character is usually written pretty badly in the context of psychosis no matter how many psychotics the writer actually consults. this doesnt mean the portrayals are always offensive, i just mean it's not really accurate or theres a lot they get wrong so it can come off a little cringe. when characters are not canonically written as schizophrenic (usually because the writers dont know theyre writing a psychotic character lol) i like their portrayals much better personally (pinkie pie, beatrice horseman, hurley, aaannd i cant remember any others LOL)

i also notice that it's usually in a fantasy setting that the characters are written inoffensively (but still poorly) or their psychosis is used to farther the plot (like in Lost, Hurley hallucinates his dead friends and has the ability to speak with them and convey messages to alive characters) and in non-fantastical settings the portrayals are usually offensive because the character is meant to be edgy, scary, etc

maybe ask yourself, why do i want this character to be schizophrenic? is it for representation? is it because i need this character to experience psychosis to move the plot foreward? is it because i need this character to be traumatized? is it to display anti-psychotic sanism in media and how it effects people? basically, are you writing this character because you care more about schizophrenics or because you care more about the story? usually the author's motive in characters who are schizophrenic is very evident i find. if you're worried about portraying schizophrenia poorly, don't canonically say he's schizophrenic. most nonpsychotic viewers will be none the wiser

like i said at the beginning i dont really have an opinion on it. i have yet to read/watch a canonically schizophrenic character be written well so my standards are very low i guess LOL. when i see a psychotic character in media i usually just roll my eyes and think "here we go again" so the bar is rly on the floor. as long as u dont write him offensive i think ull probs be fine

#asks #not dog #q

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years

Text

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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muwur · 4 years

Text

snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up”

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc.

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧ “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧ “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧ “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today”

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #sugawara x reader #kageyama x reader #oikawa x reader #kenma x reader #akaashi x reader #koganegawa x reader #semi x reader #shirabu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu headcanons

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magioffire · 3 years

Note

🍵 how writing dark content somehow means you condone or support that in real life

salt salt salt salt ; accepting

alright this is a topic i got A LOT of thoughts about lets ...lets hope i dont mess up my wrist all over again LOL

ok i dont inherently automatically think that writing a dark topic means you support it irl, or that all dark topics are created equally. tumblr's mentality of "you cannot write this problematic topic but oh this problematic topic is fine" is really....flawed. like writing drug use is a bridge too far but alcohol use is fine? or its never okay to write abuse but murder is okay. hm. no, this is inherently a flawed concept. in my mind, either everything is allowed, or nothing is allowed. now, before i get completely misinterpreted, i also bring up something very important that a lot of people need to be aware of, and consider, when they are writing dark or 'problematic' topics.

1. it is not inherently a bad thing or a reflection upon the author/mun for someone to include dark topics in their writing. what is a better judge of if a writing is truly problematic, or if the author shares those thoughts or may not agree with it, but think that it being fantasy/fictional gives them a free pass, is if the narrative treats the bad thing like the bad thing it is. for example, if a character murders another character in a story, and the narrative never confronts the fact that there are consequences for murdering someone, whether those consequences are society-based, or emotional, or physical, or whatever, there has to be some sort of narrative self awareness where the narrative shows that it is wrong, or at least not a reliable opinon or recount of the story in the case of an unreliable narrative. if your story deals with the topic of revenge, in order for it to be a compelling story about how revenge is a wasteful endeavor, that does more harm than good, or whatever message you are trying to push, the narrative has to acknowledge this. when you are writing racism, even if its fantasy racism, even if your characters are actively or passively being racist, you have to acknowledge in the narrative that this is not factual, this is bullshit, that the character's racism is based in nothing, and while they may firmly believe it, its not true, because racism is based on nothing but false information, fear and hate. if you justify the racism in the narrative, it tells the audience that this racism is okay, justfiable, or 'not as bad' as the victims of the racism make it seem.

2. you have to know your audience. i believe that people are free to make jokes about anything they want, but, their jokes might not always be funny, their jokes might not always be in good taste at all, and their jokes might not always be for the audience they are saying to too. thats not to say that theres no problematic, bad taste jokes out there that probs shouldnt be repeated, its more to say that again; you cant say one thing is off limits, and then say another thing isnt. you just cant. it pisses people off when you try to tell them what they can and cannot do lol. but any comedian worth their salt knows, you dont fucking take out the big guns to an audience that is not prepared for it. you must provide context to your jokes as well. and if your brand of humor is more 'dark humor' or 'offensive humor' based, you have to make sure that you arent empowering hateful people with it, you have to be constantly aware of that and tell them off. now what does this have to do with writing? a lot more than you might think. theres a reason some topics i rp on discord, not just smut, but also more personal and dark topics relating to my muse's past, his trauma, because this is a personal side of my muse, not everyone might be prepared to read. this is why tagging shit is important. this is why its important to make your boundaries super clear. this is why its important to speak out when something makes you hurt or uncomfortable. and why its important to pay attention to who your audience is before you just put anything out there. yes, it is your space, but it is a space you are allowing others into.

3. fiction may not be reality, but it does *inform* our reality, if that makes sense. it would be foolish to say that media has no effect on our society as a whole and how we view the world around us. media has a very profound effect on how we connect with eachother, how we process information, how we enjoy things. its obviously a very important part of our lives as rpers and writers. and so you should be aware of how your writing, and the topics in it, and how you portray your characters, effects people in real life. this is often a more abstract topic for people to wrap their heads around, but one example i can think of is how tolkien-esque, high fantasy genre, has literally effected how we interact with the philosophical idea of good vs evil, light vs dark, and it engrained a very eurocentric view of morality in the fantasy genre very quickly. media like harry potter, 1984, 2001 a space odsessy, the matrix, and many, many more movies, books and more have influenced the discourse of our society. now, roleplay may not have as much of a far reaching effect as these highly popular influential medias, but if you take this microcosm down to a smaller scale of the rpc, it makes a little more sense.

some of the best works ive ever read that have really made me think have been about dark, 'problematic' topics, and the way the authors wrote it left no doubt in my mind that they were against or critical of the evil or morally questionable acts of their characters, and they showed that in the narrative. thats an example of dark media done right. some of the best media in the world includes some pretty dark themes and topics, but the narrative is often a very clear indication of how well the author dealt with the topic.

also, i hate the mentality of tumblr that you cannot enjoy media and also be critical of it. that you can only enjoy 'unproblematic' media and art. and if that really was the case, we wouldnt have any media or art left to enjoy, because no one is perfect. but on the same hand, we should not be ignoring the problematic aspects of our media. for me, its impossible to seperate enjoying a piece of media and being critical of it. picking apart media is one of my faovrite pass times, i can never enjoy something for just what it is. i gotta understand why the creator made it the way they did. and i think thats a much more healthy way of viewing media than under the lens of "no one can enjoy problematic media" or conversely "let people enjoy things uncritically!!"

also i think we can all agree that some things are a bridge too far. like the writing rules of writing rape: if you think your scene needs a graphic rape scene, it probs doesnt. you can explore the issues of sexual abuse and assault without writing rape scenes. just as an example.

#woah this...this was a lot #ooc.#ask.#rape cw #salt cw #long post cw

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