#if someone drew me art i would probably die tbh

[ghuleh-recs]

♡ Fandom Faves Tag ♡

Tag 1-3 (or as many as you want) of your favorite creators (writers, artists, outstanding members of the community etc) and link your favorite creation if you can.

Thank you for the tags @midnight-moth and @coffeeghoulie! I'm gonna challenge myself to not wax poetic and keep these extra short and sweet. That way it's not as intimidating for others to participate (hope that makes sense). Oh and I'm not putting a "keep reading."

Witness my faves (ง •̀_•́)ง

@midnight-moth (who started this tag game ♡) drew THE Phantom art of all time and I recently went absolutely feral for:

Buried in Treasure - Dew x Phantom - E, 3.6k

When his eyes roll forward again, he notices more than just the same riff playing over and over. He notices Phantom’s grip on his hand simultaneously go still and tight. He notices the rosy flush on his cheeks, and the tent in his pants that he tries to conceal with the hand holding the phone. It takes more than a few seconds for all of the dots to connect and when the thought is fully formed, Dew grabs the phone and launches it to the end of the bed.

@ramblingoak hey why is there an angel in the satanic band fandom? I created this whole blog so I could shout about:

The Cardinal's Bride - Cardinal Copia x F!Reader - E, 91k (wip)

A Romantic Adventure in the Old West: After being forced into a marriage with Mr. Saltarian by your father you are sent west to his estate in Nevada. Along the way you end up meeting one of the cowboys you have always fantasized about…

@conjuring-ghouls finds the perfect moments and turns them into the loveliest gifs. On top of that she is endlessly kind and supportive. Look at these!!!

@coffeeghoulie is writing the Aeon x Swiss hurt/comfort fic of y'all's dreams and I got to do my first "official" art collab for it yay!!

Eternal Heatstroke - Aeon x Swiss - M, 17k (wip)

For once in their life, Aeon feels lucky. Whoever's opened this portal, whoever's summoning ghouls Up Top, specifically wants a quintessence ghoul. They may not be the biggest or strongest quintessence ghoul, far from it, but they'll do anything this summoner wants if it means they get to live. Or: being Topside is a drastic change from the life Aeon's used to.

@writingjourney truly the kindest soul and an absurdly talented writer. I screenshot Ibi's tags on my posts all the time because they cheer me up so much 🥹🥹

Friday Nights (series) - Papas x GN!Reader - E, 40k

“But to die as lovers may - to die together, so that they may live together.” ― Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, Carmilla Each of these stories features a vampire papa and a gender neutral reader.

@anamelessfool writes some of the best world building and characterizations that I have ever read in fanfiction AND she's a fantastic artist.

Violence & Gentleness - Primo x OC - E, 50k (wip)

You made me forget myself...I thought I was someone else, someone good... LATE OCTOBER 1979 Primo has his work cut out for him as the bodyguard of the beautiful and fearsome Mater Emerita Jocasta. As mystery after mystery unfolds, it becomes harder to remain a honest man in this den of thieves called the Ministry.

@foxybouquet makes wonderful art and her colloquial Italian posts are an incredible resource for the fandom.

@angellayercake has angel in her username for a reason tbh. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I learned important things about myself and my love language whilst reading the brilliant:

Banchetto - Terzo x F!Reader - E, 22k (wip)

Papa Emeritus III is struggling to adapt to his life after the Ghost project but perhaps some good homemade Italian food will do the trick.

(I'm cutting myself off here because I could do this all day. I will probably be making another list in the near future because I love and admire so many of you. 😅)

No pressure at all but I would really love to see this tag game keep going! If you're reading this please consider adding some of your personal favorites to the list! This fandom could use some positivity right about now ♡

#i was very calculated with who i tagged btw #i am trusting some of you to tag who i didn't 😅 #tag game

[spymaster-and-socialite]

CHARACTER  STUDY.

stolen from @rhogeminid hehehe! 

LAYER 001 :    THE OUTSIDE.

NAME  :   john andre 

EYE   COLOR  :   dark blue 

HAIR   STYLE   /   COLOR  :   brown, tied back in a queue, with a stupid little braid dangling on one side 

HEIGHT  :   6'1 

CLOTHING   STYLE  :   when he’s not in uniform, he’s probably wearing his Slutty Robe TM or some similar stupid looking white ruffled thing (or nothing at all...) 

BEST   PHYSICAL   FEATURE  :   hmmm uhhh well i really like the shape of his nose and mouth lol, they’re very satisfying to me for some reason... but also. Buff Arms 

LAYER 002 :    THE  INSIDE.

FEARS  :   failure, humiliation/embarrassment, loss, death, blood/gore 

GUILTY   PLEASURE  :   hoeing around? LOL just kidding... drawing things only for himself that he doesn’t show to other people (he has a separate sketchbook for that) 

BIGGEST   PET   PEEVE  :   people that have zero disregard for logic/caution and just barge forward with hasty and risky plans. also, people who are rude just because they can, such as to servants 

AMBITIONS   FOR   THE   FUTURE  :   marry peggy... that’s literally it. hopefully without dying.  also winning the war and getting some kind of social status boost from it would be a plus, but if he can manage not to die and get to marry peggy, then he’d probably be willing to lose tbh lol

LAYER 003 :   THOUGHTS.

FIRST   THOUGHTS   WAKING   UP  :  andre is one of those annoying people who wakes up energized and cheerful most of the time and is like ‘cant wait to see what the day brings! :3′. unless it’s s3 and he’s in his depressed era... then he wakes up from a terrible night’s sleep and thinks ‘UGGHHHHHH’ and then about how much of an awful person and a failure he is 

WHAT   THEY   THINK   ABOUT   MOST  :   peggy. also, peggy. and did i mention peggy? art that pertains to peggy. books that remind him of peggy. every once in a blue moon he has a thought about spying... but then he goes back to thinking about peggy. he’s in love and it’s so stupid of him 

WHAT   THEY   THINK   ABOUT   BEFORE   BED  :   elaborate future plans that involve mentally mapping out the entire rest of his life point by point, or making up random stories in his head that have nothing to do with the war till he falls asleep bc honestly this man is so sick of fighting in a war LOL. also horny thoughts about peggy

WHAT   THEY   THINK   THEIR   BEST   QUALITY   IS  :   his people skills, and how much he genuinely cares about other people 

LAYER 004 :    WHAT’S BETTER ?

SINGLE   OR   GROUP   DATES  :   single date, because it’s more ~romantic~ and he would get stage fright trying to play a sappy flute solo in front of a group LOL

TO   BE   LOVED   OR   RESPECTED  :   oh, definitely loved. being universally loved is literally all he wants... and plus, there’s an inherent kind of respect that goes along with love, and he’d much rather have that than the kind of respect that accompanies fear and resentment. 

BEAUTY   OR   BRAINS  :    everyone thinks that andre is just into hot people, and i mean, he DOES have standards when it comes to appearance, but what will actually get him to fall for someone is what’s inside their head. yeah, peggy is hot, but she’s also his intellectual equal, and that’s both what drew him to her in more than just a superficial way, and what makes his love for her permanent

DOGS   OR   CATS  :    andre seems like a cat person lol, but he’s probably kind of clueless around all animals 

LAYER 005 :    DO THEY…

LIE  :   for his job, yeah, but it’s not something he’s super proud of. he does a lot of things he’s not super proud of for his job, unfortunately 

BELIEVE   IN   THEMSELVES  :   somehow simultaneously way too much and not at all 

BELIEVE   IN   LOVE  :   he isn’t sure until he meets peggy tbh

WANT   SOMEONE  :    he goes from desperately wanting everyone to love him to desperately wanting one specific person to love him, and that’s kind of a scary feeling 

LAYER 006 :    HAVE THEY EVER…

BEEN   ON   STAGE  :   HAHA yes and he’s somehow played, like, every shakespeare character ever 

DONE   DRUGS  :   no

CHANGED   WHO   THEY   WERE   TO   FIT   IN  :   unfortunately andre does this reflexively as soon as he walks into a room of people, he really struggles to actually be himself because of all the pressure he puts on himself to be liked by everyone 

LAYER 007 :    FAVORITES.

FAVORITE   COLOR  :    hmm probably something annoying like ‘the exact shade of blue that peggy’s eyes are’ 

FAVORITE   ANIMAL  :     ooh idk... he doesn’t seem like a huge animal person but maybe cats?  

FAVORITE   BOOK  :    everything ever written by shakespeare... sigh he’s so annoying (affectionate)

FAVORITE   GAME  :     the “game” of life (UGH lol) 

LAYER 008 :    AGE.  

DAY   THEIR   NEXT   BIRTHDAY   WILL   BE  :   may 2nd 

HOW   OLD   WILL   THEY   BE  :   30 (and it’s gonna be his last birthday.... SORRY)

LAYER 009 :    FINISH THE SENTENCE.

I   LOVE  :    too deeply. 

I   FEEL  :    ashamed. 

I   HIDE  :    my true feelings. 

I   MISS  :    who i thought i was. 

I   WISH  :    i could turn back time. 

#classified information #(god i love him so much) #(this was so much fun hehe ill have to do peggy tomorrow) #about john andre

[dinosaurtsukki]

BSD x university au hc’s | pt. 2

part 2 of the university au hc’s !! i am obviously a slut for chuuya and fyodor so don’t mind me. i hope you guys like this !!

check out pt. 1 here

***********************************************

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke:

i love akutagawa ryuunosuke my angst child but i’m just like ‘hmmmmmmm’ when it comes to what his course would probably be

after extensive research aka reading his character page on wiki i feel like maybe he’d be a history major because,,,, he likes antiques?

well his clothes do seem very dark academia-esque and i can see him liking something as cool as history

akutagawa’s probably into something like war history but he’s not weird about it he just finds it really cool how different strategies work or analyzing what exactly makes the winners win

he absolutely HATES the fact that he keeps having to read the Iliad for class

he’s also that classmate who INTENSIVELY DEFENDS achilles for being a bit of a little bitch (but he fully agrees that patroclus and achilles were gay af ok this was random moving on)

akutagawa has practically no social life. he doesn’t go to parties, he doesn’t talk to his roommate, he doesn’t even like to eat in the dining hall

BUT he absolutely loves being in debate team because WINNING

he’s such a nightmare to work with though but he just delivers so well when it’s time for him to speak. like, if he’s on a negative and it’s time to hash out rebuttals, just prepare to get MURDERED

other debaters: “esteemed scholars and adjudicators...”

akutagawa: “you, sir, have no idea how wrong you are.”

that is until dazai decided to randomly show up at a debate tournament all ‘la di da da’ like and completely crushed akutagawa along with his ego

from then on he started stalking dazai and just SOMEHOW managed to end up in his circle of friends

even though he’s antisocial in real life, akutagawa 100% runs a dark academia aesthetic blog on tumblr i’m right and i don’t accept criticism

it’s actually really good he has a ton of followers and even does requests for moodboards if someone asks nicely

atsushi was the one who actually found out about it but he’s nice so he didn’t tell akutagawa about it

kunikida probably follows that blog

Chuuya Nakahara:

if this part sounds like i’m just thirsting for chuuya then you’re absolutely right i love wine man

don’t get mad at me but i can ABSOLUTELY SEE HIM MAJORING IN FASHION DESIGN I MEAN LOOK AT HIM

he’s just always had such a good eye for fashion and he’s veryyy meticulous when it comes to snipping and putting together clothes

chuuya also carries a sketchbook full of designs and his drawings look amazing and he isn’t afraid to just show them off

that said he doesn’t dress like a tired uni student at all, like he just always looks so on-point and unbothered by his five million deadlines

dazai: chuuya, i said this was a CASUAL LUNCH

chuuya, dressed in what looks like silk pajamas: THIS IS CASUAL

tbh if he just wore a white t-shirt and jeans i would die maybe he’s actually saving us from this ordeal

he has so much talent though as a designer he’s probably had several internships with design companies all throughout his years at uni

i feel like chuuya’s also really active in extracurriculars and has been in leadership positions in some of them (he probably runs the student org for fashion design)

chuuya in a student band though oh my gosh i can’t breathe i can’t breathe him as a VOCALIST?? and wearing torn jeans and eyeliner and that same hat in concerts ican’t brEATHE

okay in all honesty he would thrive being in a band chuuya loves the attention and the creativity of being able to design their whole look and write songs

tbh i don’t know if he’d have a roommate chuuya’s probably the type who’d rather have one of those single rooms or just rent a flat for him to stay in even after graduation

because his social life is super vibrant, he does have a lot of friends and he does make an effort to get to know all of them individually 

but he’s more open around those who he’s been friends with for a really long time and as much as he’d like to say dazai isn’t one of them, he is

also chuuya is definitely the type to party hard during the weekends and has more than once crashed in someone’s house after drinking too much (dazai drew on his face on more than one occasion)

Oda Sakunosuke:

i love this man SO MUCH you guys have no idea i would literally die for him

100% this guy majors in creative writing because this is supported by FACTS and not just me wanting to be coursemates with him in this fictional world

super serious and diligent with his work especially since he’s passionate about writing. he loves to read in his spare time and is such a fan of classic novels about social realism or philosophy

oda spends 99% of his time in second-hand bookshops that the owner probably knows him by name at this point

he’s super old school when it comes to writing though, like he still keeps and writes in a notebook before typing it up on a laptop and no matter how many times dazai tells him its impractical, oda just keeps doing it

lmao whenever workshops come around he’s super nice with his critique. i bet a lot of his fellow classmates like sending their writing drafts to him

he draws smiley faces and always adds ‘nice work’ on people’s drafts omg i love odasaku

he’s such an old soul, he probably doesn’t do a whole lot of partying but he likes more quiet, private social events like drinking with close friends or just hanging out and talking at other people’s houses

he and dazai probably met when dazai decided to take an intro to creative writing class and wrote a long poem about double suicide on his first day that kind of put off everyone in the class from wanting to sit with him

odasaku was the only one who wasn’t exactly bothered but he did give dazai some comments to help him with his poetry and dazai instantly wanted to be his friend

in terms of extracurricular life, i can definitely see odasaku joining a writing organization and even the campus newspaper. he does find joy in interviewing students for newspaper articles

he’s also pretty into photography and uses a really old, second-hand camera that he bought at an antique store and fixed himself. at one point he won a prize in a contest

odasaku would be the best roommate. he’s super sensitive to when you have a bad day and will invite you to sit on his bed and hug his pillow and talk about your problems

scratch that, everyone talks to odasaku about their problems and now your room is like a therapist’s office

Edgar Allan Poe:

i swear this was the only gif i could find other than actual edgar allan poe

ANOTHER CREATIVE WRITING BUDDY AHHH I WOULD LOVE TO BE BESTIES WITH HIM AHHH

well actually i feel like since he’s super ambitious and already has a fixed idea on the stuff he likes to write, he’d probably double major in something like forensic science because he’d use it to write his mystery novels

omg that’s where he meets ranpo and now pretty much every main character poe writes is slightly based on on ranpo

it’s a problem. his professor brings it up more than once during his classes but it’s poe’s Thing now

he also has such an unending passion for gothic literature and he wears those white, long-sleeved blouses and waistcoats on a REGULAR BASIS

chuuya probably saw him once and was like ‘hmm, i could pull that off’

poe’s daily route is just going to the library and to class and then go home and that’s about it

he ended up working as a student assistant at the library because he’s just super familiar with the book collections and it’s a job that’s peaceful and quiet 

more than once though, he’d just be really in-deep with his writing to the point that he doesn’t even notice that the library has closed or that he hasn’t eaten the entire day

that’s alright though because ranpo always passes by the library at night to check on his friend and (reluctantly) give him some snacks

also since poe’s pretty much a recluse, he doesn’t go to any social event UNLESS it’s a halloween-themed one

he loves going all out with his costumes because he’s a Drama Queen like that but the problem is he keeps dressing up as gothic novel characters and nobody gets it

dazai, trying to guess his costume: umm,, Two-Face from Batman?

poe: IT’S DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE

there was this one time when poe took it upon himself to host the halloween party and it was EPIC

he basically designed it as a murder mystery night wherein everyone who came pretended to be guests at a house and then a murder happened

the only problem was that ranpo was conspiring with poe and it was pretty much unfair

except for the fact that ranpo was frustrated at how bad everyone was at deducing that he ended up solving the mystery for them

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

one of my favorite scenes of him in s3 was of fyodor playing the cello because god damn that is beautiful and therefore i am hc-ing him as a music major and you can’t tell me otherwise

fyodor is an absolute music genius and he was definitely scouted by the university’s music program and then he was granted a scholarship (because in this ideal university, the arts are valued)

he purposely decided to go to a university rather than a music conservatory because he’s also interested in learning a bunch of other things

aside from his music classes, he ventures into comparative literature and philosophy, even a bit of computer science at some point

people always assume that since he’s a music major he probably wouldn’t do well in other subjects but SURPRISE BITCH

anyway, fyodor’s a genius because god clearly has favorites

aside from attending class, he’s even part of an official orchestra and has even landed a few solos 

that said, he’s quite busy and very preoccupied in his own work to actually have a social life either

you’ll often find him rehearsing by himself in an empty classroom for hours and hours on end (someone pls bring him food he’s also the type to forget to eat or even drink water)

if you are able to catch him perform at an orchestra or just practice by himself, it’s quite a mesmerizing sight. his eyes are often closed so he could focus on the sound alone and his fingers move so elegantly along the neck of the cello

(sorry i just love people who play any form of stringed instrument)

fyodor also takes such good care of his cello. also he would probably kill you on the spot if you touched his bow

he has a fairly small group of friends and they like playing chess together (even though fyodor is better than all of them) and just talk about um,, idk philosophy and stuff (whatever it is smart people do idk i’m not one of them)

i have a feeling he actually follows akutagawa’s dark academia blog and loves his content, even to the point of requesting ‘cello player moodboards’

also because he’s a cello player he needs to take care of his fingers so he wears gloves a lot (idk why i find this hot)

***********************************************

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @tpwkatsumu @laure-chan

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd writing #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs writing #bungou stray dogs headcanons #akutagawa ryuunosuke #chuuya nakahara #oda sakunosuke #edgar allan poe #fyodor dostoevsky #bungou stray dogs university au #bsd uni au #bungou stray dogs scenarios #bsd scenarios

[baekuras]

@g-a-y-b-a-c-o-n

I wanted to put this in an ask but then I decided to lay back a bit into my pillow and more thoughts hit me every time I stopped one like a marathon so imma get them all out right now

Let me start with that I love talking to you always just...LOOK at all this art that happened Moreso with the griffins than er-au because thats a wholeass long post at this point (yes i still have ideas for that too to draw i can not stop yet oops) all because of some tags on a post about a cat with baby bunnies-it's amazing

Anyhow What do you mean „idk if this is a Aiden lives situation“ of course it is there is no other option Although my brain defaults to angst

which is why i didn't follow the thought of „Aiden doesn't die“ which was followed by „if he does he comes back“ both which can end super badly so i...am leaving that (and the thoughts of now him outliving everyone or coming back wrong and it's all even worse etc etc you know the deal)

bUT my brain continued a bit anyway and with the griffins au I don't even wanna imagine what would happen if Aiden died An emotional witcher and 4 griffins all angry and/or grieving Not a good mix, maybe for revenge but definitley not for everyone else especially if Lambert has to calm 1-4 kids down while being a mess himself probably (yes my brain also did go to „What if they/one of them gets so out of hand Lambert would have to fight them or would run away from that chaos because it's all too much for everyone and ouch)

So right now my angst braincells are only for my ocs (latest I did was hang someone on their ribcage for a bit after torture after experimentation after lovers betrayal so that's good for now (i am so sorry i will let it end well too but woops)

But luckily for us all Aiden lives v-v

Second though interjected somewhere between those ramblings and how I always get whiplash when I actually play the witcher 3 and hear Aiden spelled out (idk how it's said in polish tbh i am not gonna read subtitles only and i refuse to play the game in german) considering how in german the Ai is spelled like...eye and not like, well, uh (h)ey idk how to word things with words

but now to griffins and half the continent of geralts friends/acquaintances being at kaer morhen

imaging everyones reaction to seeing the griffins first is great fun

Lambert and Aiden either arrive as late as possible for dramatic entrance OR are the first there just lounging with 4 griffins around as if that was the most normal thing in the world (which it is for them but come on, they know)

also tfw you are unsure what's weirder, a cat witcher at kaer morhen or griffins at kaer morhen (how about 2 cats vs 4 griffins, someone grab gaetan quick!)

I also like to imagine that at some point the griffin siblings decided to see how long it'd take them to convince someone to pet/cuddle them and whoever gets them to do so fastest wins New game is „Find the buff-witchers/anyone really (thanks GERALT) and see which one tosses them first“ they will still try even having long outgrown that possibility but come on (Letho beware, he is new and now on their radar of „Bother that Witcher“) Look they are Lambert and Aiden's kids I doubt they have much restraint or....anything

also don't refuse them they got a whole family to go and sulk to and they know how to be cute all big eyed and floofy and shit Even if Lamb and Aiden aren't around they WILL find Eskel (they know who is in charge come on) and be all sulky around him because SOMEONE refused to give them food they don't even like and that was probably bad by now!

I also wonder, considering I drew Aiden on the biggest girl, who rode a griffin first (and who else would gain the privilege) I wanna say Aiden, but I wouldn't put it past Lambert ofc but also i am sure one of the kids just...wriggled through the legs of an unsuspecting witcher until they were able to take off, witcher safely on their back

ALSO baby birds and cats are very mouthy (the amount of scratches and bites kittens can give you is insane and some really dont wanna learn that nothing will happen pls play with the toys instead thank you) so....baby griffins must have been a mess in that department as well

#the witcher #griffins au #also school lied we got distance learning till 12th of february so yay for me only 2 hours of work on thursdays! Don't ask i won't have a lo #gical answer #i had thoughts #i put thoughts into words....probably #i had a literaly bullet list of...points and i had to sort through them it was a mess #i also didn't expect to see deadpool but make him eskel today but i am not against it #i have emptied my brain for the day i had to answer one semi complicated question and read one uni level text and i am done #i also had a nap #that usually helps in shutting anything down #so i shall leave it at this for now aka untill another thought comes barreling in

[luvuwite]

all, go

i hate you

1. What was the last present you gave?

uMMMM probably a commission i gave to pancake (archie/vivi)

 2. What was the last present you received? 

i dunno? if its a doodle then i got that a week back!

3. What animal best represents your personality? 

from the oOoOO spirit animal tests i took im a snek

4. What are you most afraid of? 

sometimes my own mind EYES EMOJI

5. Who is your favourite villain? 

HMMMMMMM probably like,, megamind i love him

6. Who is your favourite family member? (we all have one, admit it)

MY SISTERRRR

7. If you could name your own planet what would it be called? 

myanus

8. Stars or Moon? 

stars!!

9. Do you have/want kinds? 

if my other partner wants them, sure

10. What is your greatest life goal? 

making it this far

11. What is something you can’t live without? 

soup

12. What is a place you associate with your childhood? 

one of the parks near the store-area

13. How was your first kiss/how would you like your first kiss to go? 

i never kissed, so i wouldn’t know, but pls,,,ask for consent,,, and warn me if we gonna kiss or not,,,,,

14. What is some life advice you have acquired? 

ive learned a lil’ bit, but one of em probably has to be to just be like,, dont cry over something you know is fake, at least thats what i remember atm HAHA

15. Who in history has influenced you? 

bruh i dont like history idk

16. What is something strange that you think about often? 

h,,,hopless romantic noISIJEIORQ AHHAHA i like to think about weird scenarios in my head basically

17. Baths or Showers? 

showrr i get shy with myself in baths

18. Tea of Coffee? 

coffee

19. Alcohol or soft drink? 

alchohol bad brisk brisk brisk

20. Writing or typing? 

typing since its easier

21. What is you most favourite thing in your bedroom? 

my bed its sexy and comfy

22. Spontaneous holiday! Where are you going and with who? 

wait what UH I DONT KNOW probably just close close friends and family

23. Introverted or Extraverted? 

i have my moments with both

24. Describe yourself in two words. 

small and aggressive

31. What do you think of when you hear ‘portrait’? 

a picture or image of someone/something

32. Tell me about your partner/ideal partner? 

i mean no one is perfect yeah? i just want them to be honest with me and accept my AHEM struGGLES with relationships since im not the best partner

33. Tell me about your siblings, if you have any? 

my sister is what you call a “girly girl”, she likes disney movies, outdoors, being loud and running around, yknow just like any other child ever

35. What are you a big advocate for? 

my friends!!

36. If you’re comfortable to answer, what is the sickest you have ever been?

migraine + stomach bug + mental in trash +  stomach pains + lil appendix pain

37. When were you the most scared in your life? 

when i broke my arm

38. Ever had a paranormal experience? 

ACTUALLY YEAH i thought i heard someone yelling help outside my window and i peaked out and realized it was nothing and i figured i was just tired but i was still kinda freaked

39. Biggest celebrity crush at the moment? 

im not like other girls,,,,....

40. What is something happening in your life right now? 

uhhh just general anxiousness/paranoia(?) tbh

41. What is your favourite mythological creature? 

DRAAAAGOOOOOON

42. Marvel or DC?

dont know what those are

43. What object would be on your family’s banner? 

soup

44. Favourite flower? 

pink rose

45. One characteristic you like in a partner? 

s,,,support/reassurance pls

46. What planet/star would you travel to if it were possible? 

i wanna,,,, actually i dont know i think i would just enjoy floating around in general 

47. What is your favourite meal… ever? 

soup

48. First time…. doing anything. Describe your first time doing something? 

first time i drew was twiggit sperkl and that was the most proudest i ever felt

49. Who is your favourite superhero? 

bRUHHH I DUNNO I DONT WATCH THAT STUF

50. What is your favourite poem? Recite it?

i dont read

51. What is an exercise you despise doing. 

burpees

52. Secret talent? 

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

fite

53. Current song on replay replay replay? 

[x]

55. If you weren’t in your current occupation what would you be doing? 

sleeping probably

56. What is the first thing you notice about the person you fancy?

,,y,yo they kinda,,,, scrumptious,,, AHUIWRWQI 

57. If you had one wish that would definitely come true, what would it be? 

yes

58. If you could time travel, when and where would you visit? 

i would go to future bc i wanna see what i look like

59. What is your lucky number? 

5

60. If you adopt a pet what would it be and what would you name it? 

a cat!! and i actually am planning a name and calling them clementine!! 

61. Do you believe in fate/everything happens for a reason?

i believe your fate is decided by ur own actions/words

 62. What is your favourite thing about your personality? 

im not too hard to get along with,, i hope

63. What is your favourite thing about your appearance? 

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

64. What is your favourite clothing store? 

primark bc everything is like 2 bucks

65. What is your favourite online store? 

i dont do online shopping too much

66. Use one word to describe your most favourite person? 

observant 

67. How do you usually have your hair?

down with a clip, then ponytail next day

 68. What was your favourite subject in high school? 

math

69. What makes you feel empowered? 

power over something/someone(as a joke/in games, not in a bad way)

70. What motivates you to do something? 

a prize at the end

71. What advice would you give someone who is going through a rough time? 

it gets worse before it gets better, and in the worse ill be there for you so you dont have to go through this alone

72. Ideal date? 

wendys!!! sweater weather!!! cuddle!!! left 4 dead!!! comfy clothes!!!

73. What is the best date night movie? 

i am not that attractive to be taken out on a date

74. What is something you are currently looking forward to? 

nothing atm tbh im just here bc i have to beIEOJRWIOE

75. Tell me a funny joke? 

oo wa oh wa ooh

76. Do you like musicals? If so, what’s your favourite? 

never listened to one actually

77. What is your favourite song currently? 

sweater weather. always.

78. What song never fails to make you dance? 

POP EYED JOEEEEE IVE BEEN LIVING???? LONG TIME YOOO

79. What is your favourite “classic?”

gnomeo and juliet

 80. What is the best advice you have ever been given? 

obese paragraph and comfort doodles? lets go

81. Where did you ancestors come from? 

puerto rico

82. What have you learned from your parents/guardians? 

be tough nugget and dont take shit seriously till you have to

83. What is a phrase you heard a lot growing up? 

dont step on the crack or youll break ur mothers back

84. Do you believe in magic? 

nnno

85. What reminds you of your best friend? 

overwatch

86. What are you passionate about? 

dance dance dance

87. Tell me a story from middle school? 

one time

the end

88. Who was your favourite teacher and why?

i love my bio teacher rn bro shes such a sweetheart

 89. Can you roll your tongue? 

yes

90. What made you pursue what you are studying? (including school subjects) 

my little pony

91. Where would you like to travel to? 

japan for those toys gimme gimme

92. What is something on your bucket-list? 

i wanna see coral reef

93. What is home to you? 

place that brings feeling of comfort/security

94. What do you do in your free time? 

draw

95. If you could buy anything right now, what would it be? 

food

96. If you could see anyone, living or dead, right now, who would it be? 

probs one of my online friends

97. If you could choose, what would your last meal be? 

soup dumplings brisk and rice

98. How would you like to die? 

happy

99. List five of your favourite pieces of art (paintings, books, songs etc) 

ruby eyes / sweater weather / ponyo / wall-e / idk

100. What would you change about this world?

global warming SHOOO U FAT

#post #ask #long post #sugarbreadz

[la-paritalienne]

Eve!!!! Need your thoughts about Taylor's album!!!! 💓💓💓💓💓💓

i love getting asked :”(((((( :”))))))) thank uuuuuuuu. let’s get to it. as usual, it’s an almost-first impression (normally i write my basic thoughts during the first listen – yeah i’d started doing it before getting this, you know, just in case – and then i review them w a second one, where i also select my favourite passage). sooo, let’s go

♡♡♡♡

the 1 — such sweet yet heartbreaking lyrics... very soft sound, if it sets the mood for the album im 100 per cent in! This one didn’t stick w me after one listen, but after the second i was like wooow! I love how she says waking up alone ughhh. 8

fave lyrics: persist and resist the temptation to ask you / if one thing had been different / would everything be different today?

cardigan — !!!!!!! the sound has that bittersweet something that gets under your skin and makes you nostalgic for something you can’t even pinpoint. it reminds me of the softest lana, especially in nfr (eg bartender!!). i’m in awe. instant obsession!!!! the ending takes you to another plane of existence – ‘cause i knew everything when i was young... i knew you’d miss me... you’d come back to me. also i’m crying. 10+

[it’s hard to choose bc the whole song reads like poetry but i’m especially obsessed w] giving me your weekends; once in twenty lifetimes; tried to change the ending / peter losing wendy; you drew stars around my scars

the last great american dynasty — storytelling on pointttt and sound, too! telling the story of someone she bought her house from?? the genius jumped out. she paints it like a romantic portrait, mad woman pacing on the shore, but then also gatsbian, the crazy parties, dali... and then takes it back to today w the key lime green dog, idk, iconic. i want to know this woman. this song truly takes you somewhere else, i thought it was a bit repetitive but then the bridge came in and the final vocals plus i had a marvelous time ruining everything, i have to stan! 8+

there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / she had a marvelous time ruining everything

exile — ok wow, bon iver’s voice is something else!!!! i was kind of ignorant when it came to him, i admit. his depth and rasp paired with how angelic she sounds... heavenly. sound-wise, but also thematically, this vaguely reminds me of tomorrow never came w lana and sean ono lennon. (one of my fave songs of all time maybe?). the way they enunciate i think i’ve seen this film before is literally a work of art all in itself, not to mention – well i’m mentioning it bc it’s worth it! – the you never gave a warning sign vs the way she goes over it w i gave so many signs. god this makes me feel sooooo sad and like, involved. it’s so beautiful. 10

you’re not my homeland anymore / so what am i defending now?

my tears ricochet — ok wtfffff??? everything about this speaks to my soul. the airy voice, the way she sets the scene... sunlit room, the funeral metaphor, you turned into your worst fears. i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace speaks to me more than anything, but just, everything about the lyrics. truly something else, cursing my name / wishing i stayed gives me chills everytime she says it. the beat that gets more insistent towards the end, with the bridge....... the high notes that then fade..... just wow. 10

and i can go anywhere i want / anywhere i want, just not home / and you can aim for my heart, go for blood / but you would still miss me in your bones / and i still talk to you when i’m screaming at the sky / and when you can’t sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies

mirrorball — love the lyrics, maybe a bit less the sound? i mean i do love the sound, so far i’m loving how softly produced and coherent this album is, but this one i wouldn’t listen to on repeat and maybe there’s something a bit whiny that i don’t love. powerful meaning tho, and who’d use a mirrorball as a metaphor for feeling like you’re fragile, trying too hard to be a people-pleaser and no one sees the real you? 7

i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me

seven — ah........ i started crying as soon as this one started, pleeease picture me in the trees, i hit my peak at seven....... like ok there’s no need to go that hard??? it’s so dreamy and like... naïf? in a perfect way. the way she says i still got love for you...... and everything else... she mentions folk songs... the purest love described in the purest way. i don’t think i have enough words to descrive the way this song moves me. like i want to listen to it again and again, to be able to feel like that again, but also i’m almost scared to listen bc it touches me too deeply. i still will tho hehe. 10+ (also just realised this is track 7 ok makes sense but my mind is blown. 100)

[this is literally deeper than a shakespeare sonnet so everything literally is my fave but, having to choose] and i’ve been meaning to tell you / i think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why / and i think you should come live with me / and we can be pirates / then you won’t have to cry / or hide in the closet / and just like a folk song / our love will be passed on

august — i love the contrast between the lighthearted, happy singing and guitars and the sad lyrics. the story it tells is so simple and yet there’s so much poetry in that... plus it reminds me of fearless or even speak now?? which are like. the taylor that gets to my heart, tbh. the bridge and the outro made the song for me. 8,5

for me, it was enough / to live for the hope of it all / canceled plans just in case you’d call

this is me trying — oh god... lyrically this song is so raw and honest, it gives me chills! i do have to say, i don’t love how she says i just wanted to know (like metrically?? idk, im weird) but these are really just small comments on amazing songs, bc i feel like all i’m saying is wow this is great, lyrics and sound, but it truly is a complete and consistent work of art, easily listened to top to bottom each time. 8-

they told me all of my cages were mental / so got wasted like all my potential / and my words shoot to kill when i’m mad / i have a lot of regrets about that

illicit affairs — ok this goes without saying but i love storyteller taylor, it’s the taylor i grew up loving and singing to in my room. the thing about most of these songs, this one included, is that they probably grow on you after a few listens, bc they’re not made to be catchy, the production and backgrounds are always very soft and some i love more than others. this one musically maybe isn’t my fave but the narration is on point, and the bridge?? the fuckkkk. plus it has one of mt favourite themes ever which is so rarely spoken about, which is the fact that language you only speak w a particular someone you love, makes you miss them even more when they’re gone. or well not exactly this but i can’t put it into words, she did tho. 8+

you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else / and you know damn well / for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times

invisible string — the color theme!!! the guitar strumming!!! and the idea of an invisible tie w someone special... i do think she outdid herself w this album. again, not my fave soundwise, maybe slightly whiny when she goes meEeeEee? but, lyrically adorable and moving. 7,5

one single thread of gold / tied me to you

mad woman — maam...... this is iconic shit........ how could she say stuff like this w such a dreamy, breathy voice. musically i get huuuge lana’a nfr vibes again (which i mean. goals) but i also adore that lyrically it’s so taylor, no one would say this shit the way she does. adore how she sings to wrap your news around and bonus for women like hunting witches too, i do love me a nod to the fact that some women are so deeply filled w machism that they’re basically men in disguise. 8,5 

every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy / what about that? / and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry [isn’t this just womanhood condensed in a few lines]

epiphany — aw! it sounds like a lullaby, maybe it’s slightly ‘boring’ for my taste? meaning i get distracted which is surely a shame bc the words seem beautiful, but it’s so soft i just drift off? but reading the lyrics – for focus hehe – i’m moved. 7+

only twenty minutes to sleep / but you dream of some epiphany / just one single glimpse of relief / to make some sense of what you’ve seen

betty — okay byeeeeeeeeee. this is taylor at her finest! countryyyyyyyy, storytelling, lesbian jdjdfk no yeah I know I knowww, romance went sour. gut wrenching and beautiful, this feels like... watching a sad teen movie but w a sepia filter, idk. i dreamt of you all summer long oh my......... it’s like og taylor from her iconic first couple of albums came back but w all her baggage and growth and experience and better than ever. also why does taylor sing so wel about being in love w a woman????? well. 10+

betty, right now is the last time / i can dream about what happens when / you see my face again

peace — ..........yes yes yes. the high notes, the honesty, the syncopated parts where she says so much so quick and yet it still hits you. it’s not even a short song but it ends too soon, it goes by like that..... a poem. omg it just hit me this has flo vibes! especially from high as hope, for example grace or south london forever?? i mean... taylor doing alt folk country pop...... queen. give you my wild, give you a child?? ok ok. 10

all these people think love’s for show / but i would die for you in secret

hoax — weeeell the lana inspo jumped out w that piano!!!!! and like. mood. and lyrics...... this reminds me of wuthering heights or of lana’s tormented love stories (shades of blue.....). a powerful closer. poetry. 9

i am ash from your fire

♡♡♡♡

okkkkk this was a flattering review, very well deserved imo since the review is mine gjgjhkhk i agree w myself. thank you again and as i always say, feel free to come back w your comments! and have a great dayyyyy! much love

#taylor swift #folklore #also bonus points for the title #fave ever from her #10 #should i tag my reviews #(i think this has now become the tag)

[franeridart]

Anon said: YOU DREW SERVAMP AS WELL??? JUST IN HOW MANY OF MY FANDOMS ARE YOU OH MY GOD I FEEL SO BLESSED I COULD CRY

Aw man, sort of, yeah!! I can’t say I’m actively into the fandom anymore, since I’ve lost track of the translations for the manga and I’m definitely behind at least a dozen chapters, but !!!!!!!!!! yeah man I love servamp it’s such a good manga TT^TT

Anon said: Ok since you like fire force *slides $20 bill* can you draw some Shinra x Arthur?

Whoops, sorry but I don’t ship it just yet! (might happen? might not?? we’ll have to wait and see what Okubo has planned for my poor heart this time around) but! hold that thought and the $20 cause I might actually open up commissions soon enough if my money situation doesn’t change, so!! >:3c

Anon said: do you think kirishima would be taller and bigger than bakugou in the future?

My ideal adult!KrBk are the ones I posted a few days ago, so!! Not really, I prefer them remaining more or less the same size as each other, just different body types - exactly as they are right now in the manga, just !!!! adult!!!!!!!!

Anon said: I Just want to say: I totaly love your content! Your Art is amazing and full of life 🥰 You are my fav. KiriBaku artist on hole Tumblr. My fav. part is your Fantasy AU art. I fucking love dragon Kiri and his king. But i really like your full content. Pls keep going!

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!! (TT^TT)<3<3<3 I’m glad you like my stuff this much!!!!!!!!! 

Anon said: Just wondering, do you like any femslash ships in BHNA? If so, which ones!!

I do!!!!! MomoJirou and MinaJirou are def favs of mine, and I dunno the ship name but Kendou and Yui got my heart beating really fast, ngl <3<3 there’s something in the aesthetic of it, it just gets to me! Also Nejire and Yuyu, such a good ship (oTT^TT)9

Anon said: Heya, sorry for this stranger call. I just wanna ask if i could use your Kiribaku Comics for comic-dubbing. If i post it on social Websites i will give credits to you of course. I'll wait for a answer. I couldn't ask you that per dm so I need to doing it here

I’d prefer it if you didn’t, sorry!

Anon said: Reading your essay about bakugo finally things into place!! Thank you!!! I guess I just didn't fully grasp the whole "he expects you to just get it". He IS a character that requires more than a cursory glance to figure out and i love that about him! And i love the endearing things he does like you said, especially his unexpectedly great fashion sense. Personally another thing that gets overlooked about him is how smart he actually is. He doesn't just go BOOM BOOM all the time. He a smart boi.

I find like the whole “he says one thing and expects people to understand another” is made pretty clear in the arc right after the overhaul one, even if I think it was present enough before then too - but in that arc he says one thing, and then another character says a thing that has nearly nothing to do with what he said, and he goes “that’s what I said!” and when he explains what he meant with the first thing he said it makes it clear that he just, has a terrible, horrible way of expressing himself that’s way more aggressive than what he actually means? He’s been doing this since the start, going around yelling die and I’ll blow you up at things and people and then when he goes to act on it his actions turn out to be way milder than what he said ????

but yeah!!! it’s made more clear the further we go in the story and that’s one thing I really really love about him hahaha

Anon said: It's not that you put Baku's ring on the wrong hand, is that Baku is too much of a rebel to use the ring in the traditional hand! :D

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll take it!!!! 

Anon said: I seriously just come back to your blog sometimes to go through your art and it's like straight up drinking happy positive energy I'm in LOVE with the way you portray both Bakugo and Kirishima and their relationship and the rest of the boys and it's such a blessing and a delight and I feel like I will never be able to be thankful enough. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art with us, thank you for sharing your throughts, thank you for sharing your love for these two boys. Thank you 💕

You are!!!! Too kind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (TTATT) thank you for being so genuinely wonderful to me!!! and thank you for liking my stuff this much, it means the world to me!!!! <3<3

Anon said: I just read your Bakugo answer to that anon and honestly, there's so much love in it to be fair it obviously shows throught your art as well but reading that made me tear up a little. What an amazing character. What an amazing BOY I love him too thank you for sharing your thoughts and your amazing art you are one of my favorite artists in the fandom and I'm so glad you love him as much as you do and I hope it makes you as happy as it makes me when I look at your art 💕💕

GOSH thank YOU for loving him as much as he deserves, honestly!!! He’s such a wonderful character and has been making me happy for so long now!!!!! (TT^TT)<3<3

Anon said: I legit don't understand why people are taking things out of proportions I can assure you nothing outside of the usual squabble is going on in bnha fandom.There are some assholes on both sides but I think that since most of us haven't actually 'seen' it and just 'heard' of it means it's not exactly as prominent as they're making it out to be, probably just the assholes being assholes to each other exclusively, so please don't worry about it,they're messing up their own enjoyment of fandom really

I don’t really know what brought this ask on, to be honest!! But as things stand I have withnessed people being very, very horrible to others lately inside the bnha fandom (and obviously, specifically between ships) so! there’s that! then again it’s also true that the bigger a fandom gets the more easily rude people will find their way in it, so I guess it’s just something you learn to live with if you want to stay in the fandom - personally, I’m just doing my best to stay in my corner and draw my sappy comics without bothering anyone hahaha

Anon said: Just here to say that your art is like, my life at this point because I would be like big depression if I hadn’t found your blog. Not to rant but my week has been an absolute hell and your art makes me feel so much better and just please keep drawing because this means the absolute world to me ok thanks bye.

THANK YOU!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so SO glad I can help your mood even just a bit, that’s really all I try to do with my doodles T^T fix my own mood, and maybe if I’m lucky help someone else along the way <3

Anon said: this may be all over the place, but I have the need to thank you? I was feeling very bad and down tonight, full on anxiety but I turned some music on and started going through your account and it calmed me down. I cant even count how many times I've gone through probably your whole account and just... thank you. your posts are so unique and funny and pretty and just sososo beautiful. I love how you built up bakugou and kirishima's characters and their relationship. just sososo beautiful.

Gods, you guys are going to make me cry for real (TTATT) you’re!!!! too nice!!!! again, I’m so happy to hear my doodles can help you feel better!!! I hope your days have been better <3<3<3

Anon said: So I keep rereading your latest kiribaku comic and its so fucking soft and I'm cry. It's so perfect and I just, it makes me so soft and happy every time I see it. It's honestly goals. I love ALL of your comics tbh, like, they're literally all perfect. Please continue to be your wonderful self!!!!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! asks like this one are the reason why I keep sharing what I draw!!!!! <3<3<3<3

#fran answers #y'all.............................so kind.................................. *sob* #long post

[marlacrane]

『COURTNEY EATON ❙ CIS FEMALE』 ⟿ looks like MARLA CRANE is here for HER JUNIOR year as a JOURNALISM student. she is 22 years old & known to be inventive, dogged, heedless & blunt. They’re living in GORHAM, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ mia. 23. pt. she/her.

[without me by eminem plays muffled from the next room as marla wanders thru the door w a mickey of vodka in her left hand and the communist manifesto in her right]

tws for drug use, mental illness

history

she has a happy childhood in a seattle suburb. she’s the youngest of two girls, and even though her mom works all the time, and her dad’s overseas, everything’s fine. until marla gets to second grade, which she hates, gets into a fight with a boy, and nearly bites his finger off. this time she gets off with a warning. then, later that week, said boy and her are working on this paper maché duck together, and the teacher's keeping an eye on them at first but has now dismissed them as totally getting along, and then the teacher glances at them again to find that they have vanished, and so have the art supplies. the two of them are found six hours later hiding in a park. they’ve been hanging out there all day, asking for a quarter from each unsuspecting parent or guardian they’ve seen. they’ve used this to buy as much food from the community centre vending machine as they can carry. their goal: wait until their parents are sleeping, steal the tent from marla’s backyard, and go live in the treehouse in his backyard. upon discovery, they’re both grounded for a month. marla is no longer allowed to read calvin and hobbes  ––  her mom is pretty sure it’s what inspired the escape attempt.

she and this boy, whose name is jasper, regroup once they’ve been ungrounded. jasper and her are both the sort of kids who bite their nails at the sign of a group project. their fight had been over who got to read the classroom’s only calvin and hobbes anthology. their initial truce had been based entirely around a mutual desire for treehouse living. now, they just want insurance. so they agree to partner up, always.

they’re bad influences on each other. apart, they’re both a little feral, sure, but they understand that certain things are not possible, and they avoid danger if they can help it. when they hang out, though, they egg each other on. jasper breaks his arm because marla dares him to climb the school; marla’s suspended after jasper dares her to pull the fire alarm; jasper and marla accidentally burn down a garden shed; jasper and marla scam five people out of their lunch money so they can go see a movie after school. (they pay them back a week later. they’re not total monsters. also, they were getting scared one of the kids was gonna tell on them).

jasper’s parents are moving. jasper’s moving with them, out to the country. marla hates it, but she steels herself. she can be independent. she’s nearly sixteen now, and it’s about time she started. but she’s going to miss him. he tells her that nothing’s going to change, which she tells him is bullshit. he takes this the wrong way, and they stop speaking to each other. this goes on for five months. marla’s lonely at first  ––  she doesn’t know how to talk to people who aren’t him. she starts dating this guy, and that opens things up a little bit. he introduces her to his friends, and suddenly she doesn’t feel as wild. she’s no longer a product of the outskirts.

one night she thinks fuck it, that’s enough silence. she sneaks out at one am, texting jasper to meet her halfway. she borrows her sister’s car. marla figures she practically knows how to drive. she’s done it a few times. and, to her credit, she makes it to where she and jasper are meeting. she also wraps the car around a pole. she emerges relatively unharmed, and she panics. jasper doesn’t show up. he texts to tell her he got caught trying to leave. she calls him an idiot. then she waits there, arms crossed, incapable of doing anything but dreading consequences, until it’s nearly morning. that’s when a cop drives by and the process of being in trouble begins. it’s a clusterfuck. this is when her sister stops speaking to her  ––  marla’s been on thin ice with her for a long time, but now it’s over. it isn’t so much that her sister wants to hold a grudge. it’s just finally too much. and marla gets it. for once, she doesn’t try and change things, or slip out of trouble. that doesn’t mean she doesn’t get into a number of shouting matches with her mom. her phone is taken away, as is all of her money, which goes toward buying her sister a new car. her laptop is sold in the name of the new car too. she can use the family computer if schoolwork absolutely demands internet access.

she hasn’t heard from jasper in a long time. her now ex boyfriend is still sort of a friend, but not the kind she can hang out with. there was one girl she really got along with at their school, but they made out at a party and the next day the girl wouldn’t really look her in the eyes. she turns seventeen, the birthday celebrated more or less alone, and does a little stint in juvie for keying a teacher’s car. she then spends a year at a community college, followed by radcliffe. she picks radcliffe because she’s accepted, and because it’s far from home. being at home fills her with this sick feeling now  ––  something went bad somewhere along the way, and she’s pretty sure it was her that made the wrong turn at the crossroads. not her mom, not jasper, not anyone else that had power over her life. and she won’t reach out to her friend, or to her sister, because that would mean admitting she cares more than they do.

she sort of wishes she could go back to being a careful person. she wants to understand boundaries. she also wants her life to have a purpose, and she likes writing, and she’s always loved nancy drew, but being a detective would’ve meant being a cop and she'd genuinely rather die, so she’s gone for journalism. she’s not loving the university experience, but it’s better than before, and it’s provided a lot of distractions that she’s grateful for.

headcanons / personality :

she can be a little abrasive.

she smokes weed whenever she can afford it, because if she doesn’t she tends toward feeling depressed and highly uninspired. she carries this apathy with her, and then every once in a while she’ll snap, and either get a lot better or a lot worse. klonopin is her best friend now.

she’s 100% a leftist and the way to her heart at this point is through communism memes. she’s slowly but surely making her way through the works of karl marx. she’d probably be done by now, but she keeps reading romance novels instead. (this is also a secret. she reads them on her phone and deletes them the moment she’s done so that nobody can know).

she lives to pirate movies, but claims that the only movie she’s ever seen is showgirls. this is because she dated a film major during her first year of college and found him so insufferable that she’s decided nobody can ever know she watches movies. she gets that he was just a jackass, and she shouldn’t judge anyone by their major, and yet................ that said, she has a secret letterboxd account (when she made it, she found her ex’s account and blocked him, just in case) and on it there’s a list of films in which richard nixon gets punched in the face.

deep down she’s actually very sentimental and sensitive, which is why she worked so hard to Not Be That growing up. she does her very best to never show that side of herself  ––  if someone sees her crying she’s just gotta kill them ! those are the rules. and after a while it got more and more difficult to actually access that side of herself. when she cries, it’s an Event.

she’s always broke. she’s also somehow always capable of scraping together exactly enough money to go out.

she knows that if jasper contacted her now, even after the years of radio silence, she’d do anything for him. they’re still friends, even if that friendship only exists in her memories. she realizes she could text him, but that would violate her strict double texting rules. and she’s afraid to.

she definitely makes bad decisions while drunk. like, all the time. speaking of which, she’s up for anything ! wanna attempt to summon a demon at 3 am? she’s ur girl ! wanna break into someone’s house and move all of the furniture over by about an inch before stealing away into the night? she’s already there !

she’s actually a good listener, which is one of the only positive traits she credits herself with. that, and creativity.

she’s a taurus but like . there is almost definitely some pisces / scorpio / sagittarius on her chart

she can play piano. she’s actually pretty good at it. or she was, back when she had access to pianos.

she really really really really really really wants a dog but there is no way in hell she can afford one

she’s bisexual

wanted connections :

(i mean. i will love anything, but....)

exes  –  whether they dated for a while or just hooked up once or twice tbh

enemies  –  these are easy because marla often does not consider consequences, so she could easily have done smth :/ to ur muse

friends  –  pls ! she needs them

unrequited crush  –  on her part, probably ? maybe they’re friends and she doesn’t wanna fuck that up but she’s starting to care about them in a different way. I Love Repression. what a good trope.

if anyone’s down for spontaneous tattoos............ she loves those (@chase hi, hello, come here)

a good influence would be fantastic

anyone else from seattle / the seattle area who maybe knew her in passing

um i really want this

#radintro #drug use / #mental illness / #alcohol / #i didnt proofread this i just . replaced 'isla' w 'marla' and thats it. same intro

[esseastri]

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 11)

All right, now that it’s been 4 months and I’ve read all the other things, I realized that it’s, like, 5 days until this book has been out for a year and I should probably get the fuck on with it, so. Here we are.

Part 11 encompasses pages 828-934 (previous parts)

me in July: I’m almost done! I can finish this!

me, now: sweet christ I have a smaller novel’s-worth still to get through lord let me live

Aw, damn, I left off on Interludes, but I DON’T CARE ABOUT VENLI, WHERE MY BOYS AT

oh SNAP I WANT THAT, the ability to speak and understand all languages???? GRABBY HANDS

ah yes the “the alethi enslaved us so we should rise up and kill them by enslaving ourselves to this other, more horrible godlike being” narrative. my favorite.

sigh

why we gotta EXTERMINATE people?

I’m tired. of extermination plotlines.

Maybe. Venli and her lil light spren will stop? the extermination!? I’m here for that!

“There was an art to doing laundry” HONESTLY THO, HAVE YOU MET COLLEGE-AGE BOYS WHO NEVER LEARNED HOW MUCH SOAP TO USE? AMEN.

oh.

I forgot about Mraize. 

like, literally, 100% forgot about his existence. sorry alyx.

eyy, we found Shalash!

HE WAS LOOKING FOR HER?? IT WAS A TRAP??

admiralakbar.gif

...Mraize has a babsk? I didn’t think he was Thaylen????

“A resistance is not what we caught you mounting.” UGH. PICK THE HAMMER, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

Why do I feel like this is a “HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR. BRING FORTH THE BEAR” joke?

yeessssssss, VENLI!!! TAKIN RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!! I CARE NOW. I WANT HER TO BE BETTER, I WANT HER TO WORK THROUGH. GIIIRRLL!!!!

HOW LONG WILL YOU VACILLATE?

YESSSSS

gr oss? Tha nk s? for the melting flesh images??

yelch

PART FOOUUUUUURRR

that’s. so many POVs. What is this, a GRRM book?

also none of the POVs are Bridge Four and. WHEN WILL MY BOYS COME BACK FROM THE WAR.

wait, I could have sworn the Alethi had been fighting the Parshendi for ten years?? but Dalinar is talking to Gavilar EIGHT years ago?

Did I miss smthn?

Did I conflate the Shattered Plains with the Trojan War? I’m confused.

Lisa has done Math for me and found out that it was only 6 years????????? Why did I think it was ten??? I COULD HAVE SWORN IT WAS TEN????

“his job was to loom” heheheh

so... Dalinar is the nuclear deterrent and the nuclear threat all in one?

Dalinar, leaning into the mic: “The truth is... I am Iron Man.”

#Evideservedbetter2kForever

OH NO A BABY

TINY FIFTEEN YEAR OLD ADOLIN IS MAKING MY HEART SING

“I had this specially tailored” I LOVE HIM

OHHHHH

HE’S TRYING SO HARD TO IMPRESS HIS DAD I’M CRYING

“When censured, Adolin only tried harder.” I! LOVE! THIS! TINY! SUNLIGHT! BOY!

I wanna write fic where Adolin Kholin meets Luke Skywalker and the world literally EXPLODES IN SUNLIGHT AND SOFTNESS.

“Who could deny him?” CERTAINLY NOT ME, I WOULD DIE FOR ADOLIN KHOLIN TOO GOOD TOO SOFT FOR THIS WORLD

me, squinting: “which Herald is Ahu?”

my running method is to just suspect everyone of being a Herald. At some point, I’ll have to be right.

WHICH! HERALD! IS! AHU!

HE’S TALKING ABOUT THE UNMADE LIKE HE KNOWS THEM PERSONALLY, TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY LET THEM IN. WHICH!!! HERALD!!! IS!!! AHU!!!!

LISTEN, I JUST WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE HERALDS. GIMME A BOOK ABOUT THE HERALDS, BRANDON!

GIMME THAT JUICY GOOD BACKSTORY, BRANDON!!!

me: why is there a map with the sea but Kholinar is on it???

two seconds later: OOOHHH DUH IT’S SHADESMAR

wack y fun!

ARE DREHY AND SKAR OKAY???? THEY DIDN’T COME WITH???

ARE THEY OKAY?

OH NO OH NOO I’M GONNA WORRY AOBUT THEM FOREVER

Adolin, say hi to your swwooooorrdddd

....the Oathgate has souls?

what?

Fearspren: gross.

I knew they were all bigger on the inside, as it were, but. #yikes?

“Kaladin’s not well.” “I have to be well.”

BRB SOBBING ABOUT KALADIN

I’M!

HE’S SO STRONG

I’M! HELP!

GIANT CLAW? UNMADE!!?? LET’S KILL IT. IDK IF WE CAN BUT CAN WE TRY??

“sword lady” HEH

ok well, at least we know Drehey is alive, since Shallain bumped into his soul, which is both TERRIFYING and REALLY COOL

YOU’RE NOT NOTHING, ADOLIN, YOU ARE EVERYTHING AND I LOVE YOU.

*long keening noises*

I FELL ON THE FLOOR

“Hey,” Adolin said. “It will be all right.” “I survived Bridge Four,” Kaladin growled. “I’m strong enough to survive this.” “I’m pretty sure you could survive anything. Storms, bridgeboy, the Almighty used some of the same stuff he put into Shardblades when he made you.” Kaladin shrugged. But as they walked onto the next platform, his expression grew distant again. He stood while the rest of them moved on. Almost like he was waiting for their bridge to dissolve and dump him into the sea. “I couldn’t make them see,” Kaladin whispered. “I couldn’t...couldn’t protect them. I’m supposed to protect people, aren’t I?”

GUESS WHICH PART BROKE MEGAN

GUESS WHICH PART DUMPED MY HEART ON THE FLOOR

ANYWAY, I’M CRYING

THISISFINE.PNG

“I’m frightened. I talk when I’m frightened.” I LOVE HIM.

ADOLIN’S HELOIGN HIM HE’S MAKIN HIM TALK TO DISTSRAT HIM AND MAKE HIM JEEP WALKING AND I”M

I LOV A SUNSHINE BOY

SO MUCH

...is Vivenna okay?

oh shiiit, Adolin is? king????

sort of? almost??

oh man, he’s gonna be SO GOOD AT IT!!!! LOOK AT HIM TAKING CHARGE AND TAKING CARE OF EVERYONE. HE’S SUCH A GOOD LEADER, HE’S GOING TO BE SOOOOOO GOOOOOOODDD AT THIS!!!!

that chapter was a Lot

OH NO A SZETH CHAPTER

I’ve only been asking for this for tHE WHOLE BOOK

but now I’m gonna be MORE SAD

.......idk how I feel about the soul-after-image thing. it’s interesting, but I’m still a lil weirded out by Szeth...you know...being alive?

huh. Vasher knows about the magic fish? So....does this validate Lisa’s theory about the fish and the birds from that other cosmere thing I can’t remember bc I haven’t read it?

holy shit, that’s a LOT of skybreakers.....

...who have been around the WHOLE TIME???? WTF

So...Szeth can hear the Spiritual Realm.....and is going to bond a spren, of the Cognitive Realm...and is in the Physical Realm... so does that make him the Avatar, Master of All Three Realms?

(while he may have a lot to learn, I believe that Szeth can save the world)

hm. they’re so...regimented. militaristic. ritualized. They’ve got tests and rules for getting in and it’s all very well-put-together. and it’s WEIRD compared to everyone else stumbling into their Ideals. Is this what is was like before the Recreance? or is this just the Skybreakers being Skybreakers?

why are there kaladin flashbacks in the dalinar book, why, brandon, why must you hurt me in this way

Brandon: *mentions Tien* Me, softly: “no”

HE REALIZED HE COULD KILL AND THAT’S WHAT TERRIFIED HIM

THISISFINE.PNG

I’M EMOTIONAL AND KALADIN IS SAD AND I’M UPSET

Also, Syl just. grabbing his arm and snuggling him is VERY GOOD, SHE IS VERY GOOD, AND SHE SHOULD BE WORSHIPED FOR BEING SO VERY WONDERFUL

“It cannot be holy. If it truly were, it would have burned me away long ago.” I’M SAD NOW, THANKS.

I have weird emotions about people losing their faiths, and Szeth’s character arc has been particularly. compelling to me.

“Here’s what you have to do: fight him and win!” has the same energy as that obnoxious Assassin’s Creed “tip” that’s like “the trick to staying alive to is get your enemy’s health bar to zero while keeping your above zero” and I’M SO PLEASED.

ooohh shit

he drew Nightblood

which I feel is NOT RECOMMENDED

# Y I K E S

Skybreakers take the “lawful” part of DnD alignments to a very unhealthy extreme

tbh they’re a lil fucked up, ngl

Skybreakers make me uncomfortable, is what I’m saying.

“he had never mastered the ‘sleep anywhere’ skill the grunts bragged about” NEERRRRDD

WHEN WILL ADOLIN REALIZE HE’S A REALLY GOOD LEADER??? SOMEONE TELL HIM, I WOULD BUT I’M TOO FAR AWAY.

oh that makes sense

I was confused for a hot second about how Vivenna knew Adolin’s kata, but she probably learned it from Vasher who...also...taught Adolin. Duh.

“I’m just a woman who has been constantly out of her league since adolescence.” Viveennnnaaaaaa, darling. You’ll be all right.

also that makes total sense--the Horneater Peaks? If they’ve got a portal, it makes sense they’re so much more in tune to the spren. Easier border crossings.

PEOPLE live in this realm? What the??

I don’t know Nazh, but the fact that he has an embarrassing tattoo due to Horneater lager bad decisions DELIGHTS ME

hm. idk why I’d sort of assumed that Dalinar went to visit the Nightwatcher before Gavilar died, but. maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it was a consequence of Gavliar’s death. 

“the other one” GET FUCKED WITH A CACTUS, PAST!DALINAR 

OOHH

SOFT BOY

Renarin is such a Good

also, Dalinar HUGGING is SO GOOD KEEP DOING THAT THAT WILL HELP

“Humans, you must stop your emotions. They are very inconvenient here.” I think, Pattern dear, that Shallan rather thinks emotions are inconvenient everywhere.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

HERE WE ARE AGAIN

ANGER IS ALWAYS THE FIRST STAGE OF DEPRESSION

HELLO, KALADINMEGAN BRAIN, IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE YOU WERE SO NEATLY SPELLED OUT BUT HERE WE ARE AGAIN

“You’re not angry at anyone, you’re just looking for something to latch onto. Something to feel.” To stave off the darkness of unfeeling and anger is easy. It’s irrational and warm and so easy. So it’s always the first one to go.

“It would continue until numbness seemed preferable.” GOD YUP. THERE IT IS.

It’s still really validating and really, really unsettling to see your brain problems spelled out so succinctly.

oh lord

“Men he loved, killing each other.”

I’M UPSET

(and the very tiny garbage part of my brain goes, ‘see he LOVES Moash’)

ADOLIN TAKING THE REARGUARD BECASUE SOMETIMES KALADIN NEEDS LOOKING AFTER I’M EMOTIONAL

Syl had a different Kaladin before Kaladin?? Wild.

and GOD but the symbology of the LIGHTHOUSE in Kaladin’s chapter. I’m. <3

EEEYYYY NAVANI!!!

she made them carry their own chairs, GOD THE MEANING BEHIND THAT, I LOVE HER

“Elhokar and Adolin are safe somewhere.” ABOUT THAT....

LOPEN, PLS

Bridge Four’s unwavering belief in Kaladin is SURE A THING. I love them SO MUCH.

also, god, MY BOYS, here they are, eating all the food and being ridiculous losers at a formal event I HAVE MISSED THEM SO

god, fuc you Ialai. ofc she didn’t carry her own chair, fukin JERK

good to know the assholery of the Sadeas name is being upheld, even after his death

god, every time Taravangian is mentioned, my gut just clenches, he makes me SO NERVOUS

GOD YES OH MY GOD, LIFT VS ROCK EATING CONTEST PLS GIMME MORE

I have forgotten that I love Sebarial. Petition for him to show up more often.

OH GOOD HE’S HAVING A BAD DAY. EXCELLENT. HE’S MUCH BETTER WHEN HE’S STUPID

...unless he’s super smart today and just pretending to be stupid.

fuck

IT’S SO HARD TO TELL WITH HIM ARGH

ANYONE ELSE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE DISCUSSION OF INVADING SHINOVAR WHEN SHINOVAR IS THE ONLY PLACE THAT DOESN’T HAVE A REPRESENTATIVE AT THIS COUNCIL???? JUST ME? OKAY.

also they keep talking about Shinovar as a redoubt and a haven, but....didn’t the Everstorm--going the wrong way--destroy Shinovar? Has anyone checked??

Navani is so clever and it’s brilliant.

“Taravangian was talking about having you tour Vedenar personally”....alone....so he can MURDER YOU. BAD IDEA. ABORT MISSION.

KALADIN HAD AN OLD LADY SLAVE FRIEND WHO DIED AND I’M SAD AGAIN DAMNIT

“He’s got battle fatigue. We have to watch him when he’s sitting around doing nothing, not when he’s got a specific mission.” MMMMMMHHHMMMMMMM

the future is forbidden, but not to Truthwatchers, sooooooo... is. this “Oracle”. a.......... Herald? PERCHANCE.

(He’s not, but I AM SUSPICION INCARNATE)

Weren’t they lying at the beginning and saying that Shallan was an Elsecaller? Because Odium thinks she’s an Elsecaller for some reason. And I wonder...who he’s spying through and where his attention is focused and who told him the lie?

KALADIN JUST WANTS TO SAVE HIS DAD IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK

aight, which world does canned food come from? How far ahead is the mistborn world whose name I can’t remember right now but it begins with an s SCADRIAL YEAH THAT ONE how far ahead is Scadrial in technological progression? Where does the Stormlight Archive fall on the mistborn timeline?

ADOOOLLIINNN. TALK! TO YOUR SPREN!!!

THEY DON’T KNOW??? THE BOYS DON’T KNOW? HOW THEIR MOTHER DIED?

HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW?

oh my god

that

god, that’s a huge lie to believe for so, so long. ohhh my goddd

someone has been writing down all the Unmades’ names, right? So I can look them up in the Coppermind later and be confused and try to work out which is which and what they do and how terrified I should be of them? cool thanks.

HELLO DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND

HE’S GONNA TELL US SECRETS!!!!! ARE THEY USEFUL!? WILL I LEARN THINGS ABOUT THE HERALDS!!!!??

I have one (1) priority in this establishment

...why does Syl have color

who is she

also LIGHTSPREN/REACHERS??? COOL AS FUCK OMG

“You don’t fly, you fall the wrong way.” Hehehehehehe <3

I HAVE MISSED KALADIN’S SELF-DEPRECATING JOKES THAT ARE FUNNY BUT ALSO VERY PAINFUL god, I love him. I love him so much. idk if y’all know this about me.

...ok, but the punny banter between Kaladin and Shallan is SO NICE Why do they have to be mean to each other so often why can’t they just be terrible sarcastic pun buddies?

“In that polished breastplate and striking figure, with her talk of chasing bounties and traveling worlds. She’s deeply mysterious.” CAREFUL, SHALLAN, YOUR BI IS SHOWING.

“The feeling was friendship, but neither of them had ever experienced it.” 

NOPE

NOOOOOOPPEE

WHO WANTS TO BET THIS SCENE IS SHIP FODDER DEAR LORD

Kaladin, darling, that shit is SO UNHEALTHY, DO NOT ENCOURAGE THIS

god

also like. darling. no. “I wish I didn’t have to care” DARLING ALL YOU DO IS CARE WHO WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT CARING

THIS IS GOOD FOR NEITHER OF YOU STOP

DO NOT ENCOURAGE THAT IN HER AND DO NOT WISH THAT FOR YOURSELF, jesus

lord, ok, well, I’ve read 100 pages, so on that disappointing character note, I’m going to go to bed.

#op #Megan reads OB #Oathbringer spoilers #is it still spoilers? man have I come out the other end on spoilers? oh well #Stormlight Archive #Oathbringer #Brandon Sanderson #mmmmmm I HAVE OPINIONS #also cry a lot #I miss Bridge Four petition for my boys to come back

[reigensarataka]

S7 is the season we see Klance is canon or not. The final cannon shall be shot in August 10th announcing our lost or victory. We have come a long way, my fellow soldiers. - 🦑

GOD THIS RLY IS FORREAL HUH………. I AINT READY FELLAS…………………

im putting the rest under a read more bcs its rly long HGDJAHGJA

I took your advice and treated myself. I got two video games and a Pokémon plushie, Thnx boo~💖 - 🦑

HELL YEAH MUAH!!!!!!!! also which two video games *eye emoji*

I feel bad for not using the emoji anon thing cause I have an emoji. I just overthink my ask every time. Anyway how’s ur day been-🏳️‍🌈

IK U SENT THIS YESTERDAY IM SORRY ILY but im gnna say that Today has just been. one big ass rollercoaster……………..

I took a nap! But yeah- I sleep talk/walk a lot and this is the 2nd time this week I wake up in the middle of sleep talking. Its weird because I continue speaking while conscious but also unknowing. Its kinda hard to explain- All I remember is the broken fire alarm beeping and me sitting up muttering- “I cant believe they did that to Keith- Its sooo obvious- I just-“ It was something along those lines- Knowing me, I probably dreamed of straight!Keith and just went off hahah ~🍞~

WJHGBHJASHJJ i used to sleepwalk a lot when i was a kid and that shit was rly creepy tbh…… my sister used to do it a lot too and one time we just started screaming and shaking eachothers shoulders at the same time and UHWUHFU still dont know what the fuck that was all abt but creepy……….. ALSO ME AT THE KEITH THINBG KAMKGJIAG

My dad bought me a red backpack for Christmas last year and I really like it but it has Keith’s galra sword and bayard on it on a really small patch so it’s lowkey, but I’m going into hs now and I want a cute aesthetic backpack and I don’t really want a voltron backpack in highschool soooo wish me luck on trying to get one -🦎

BRO, BE A REAL ONE AND TAKE THE KEITH ONE……………. uhwuhwutgf it sounds so sexy…………………………….

sorry nessa it seems that imma be telling you every time i have a gay moment but… the girl i like SO much drew me today and im feelin v confused lesbian bc of that, bc she’s sending me mixed signals since i confessed some time ago and she said she needed time to think then, and we never talk about it now bc im an anxious mess&hate confrontation but then SHE comes OUT HERE with her CUTE ART and SEDUCES me all over AGAIN!!! what does that mean!!!! does she like me too??? no?? yes??? UGH! - 🐢

GOD NEXT THING SHES GNNA ASK U TO MARRY HER DUDE!!!!!!!! ask her out……….. I WLD DIE IF SOMEONE DREW ME LIKE HELLO???? thats Love bitch….. keep me updated i love hearing abt ur gay moments wuhwzutuzhguh

lance wears his hood when he’s moping and he doesn’t like to feel like the downer by moping around the paladins which is why we don’t see him wear the hood on screen -🍓

man…. this lowkey made me sad but……. ur right…………….

IM OPTIMISTIC AS FUCC AND YALL PESSIMISTIC KLANCERS CAN FIGHT ME WE’RE GETTING KICK THIS SEASON!!!!!!! -💧

HELL YEAH BABY THATS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE

  ADAM…..!!!!!!!!!!!!!????!!!!!! hansome. -🐀

HES LITERALLY SO GORGEOUS i wld let him ra

OK SO,,,, I LITERALLY HAVE LIKE FUCKING BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH RN AND MY HEART SPEEDS UP EVERY TIME I SEE ADAM AND EUZNWKFKALW IM RUBBIJG UP AJS DOWN MY HALLQAY BC I LOVE MY SON SM AMD HES SO PRETTY MY BOY I WOULD DIE FOR HIM VLD KEEP YO UGLY ASS HANDS AWAY FROM HIS BEAUTFIUL GLASSES AJD GORGEOUS EYES A FSNGIRL UWU COME THROUGH GIVE ME MORE OF ELZHWHDISNWJEJ A D A M - 🐢             

i literally wrote this entire thing, turtle anon how r u me, im me

(KFGHFAJGKJADHFHAGJKSDGZH)

So season 7 really is that binch huh? -☕️   ��

S7 IS GNNA DO IT TO US SO BAD………       

URGH AND WE STILL HAVE 4 MORE DAYS!! ~🐩

IM NOT GONNA HOLD ON FOR FOUR MORE DAYS DUDE…………

ASKSDJFS I’VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR SEVEN HOURS AND I COME BACK AND ASKEFJLDSFJJ -🍓

IM SCARED TO EVEN GO TO SLEEP TONIGHT LMFAJUJHGKAJG

concept: veronica and lance are twins -💧            

DELICIOUS POST raindrop anon i STAN u

In the middle of all this bullshit I just gotta stay relentlessly positive and everything will be okay!!!!! -🧚‍♀️            

YES BABY THANK YOU MUAH

black paladin veronica or we riot - 🐚

M E ME EMEE EGHAGKJDG

“you’ll all love veronica. trust me” YEAH BECAUSE SHE’S ONE OF THE GAYS I’M CALLING IT - 🐜

DAMN RIGHT!!!!!! WLW QUEEN

Since were talking about moms, my mom thinks Keith is a girl and she once said “Oh that’s a cute girl” while pointing at a photo of Keith. - 🦑

LMAO?????????? FORREAL??????????? SADHGKJADGKJ

 i think we all know the real reason why keith named his wolf cosmo is because he’s secretly a massive fan of the fairly odd parents and just doesn’t want to admit it - 🐜 

GOD u r so fucking right we r all fools………….

#JSKDSMSNSJ SORRY THESE TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER I LOVE U GUYS MUAH #Nessa replies #Anonymous #squid anon #pride anon #toast anon #lizard anon #turtle anon #strawberry anon #raindrop anon #rat anon #coffee anon #poodle anon #fairy anon #seashell anon #ant anon

[scrumptiousdonutangel]

All

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

You are enough by sleeping at last, Good old days by macklemore and kesha, Blood//Water by Grandson, Eyes to the sky by Jon Bellion, High hopes by panic! at the disco, and Cowboy casanova by Carrie Underwood (I know its alot of genres)

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

TOM HOLLAND

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“We looked carefully, but saw no apparitions”

4: What do you think about most?

This is going to sound full of myself, but i think about myself alot. I just like to self reflect and try to improve whatever i think can be improved upon.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“No problem, I can try to make it work”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with. I live with too many people to be sleeping nude.

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I can scream EXACTLY like a horror movie. I had to pretend to be a murdered scream for this real life clue thing once and it was awesome

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls…. are absolutely goddesses and I fall in love with every one.

Boys…. are devilish jokers I wish I could stop falling for.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

I think so? There’s a guy who likes me and would send me poems about “some mystery girl” who I’m like 98% sure is me

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

probs like last week

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I have zoophobia actually, I love animals but they give me a huge amount of anxiety so I’ve been trying to get over it

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

I- I don’t know

13: What’s your religion?

I’m a christian, I actually got saved last year around this time!

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Swimming

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind. always.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Lately it’s been Sleeping at Last. They’re so calm but meaningful I love it

17: What was the last lie you told?

“Nooooooooooo, hahahahahaha, why would I like you???? No offense I mean you’re really… uhm. nevermind. no, I don’t” 

18: Do you believe in karma?

Abso-fuckin-lutely

19: What does your URL mean?

nothing really

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I’ve been told they’re the same thing: I’m a really caring and sympathetic person which makes me good with people but also too trusting and gullible

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

TOM HOLLAND

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no, but I lowkey really want to??? when I was little I read about it in nancy drew without even fully realizing what it was and I always wanted to try it

23: How do you vent your anger?

Usually by working out? I always joke that I don’t work out alot, but I bike/swim/walk/dance/do a ton of random muscle workouts pretty daily

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I have a collection of lipsticks if that counts

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

it depends on the person, but I personally prefer video chatting just cause it’s easier to read body language

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I feel like there’s ALOT of room to improve tbh

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

nails on a chalkboard ; dude anyone with a deep voice (no matter what they identify as) has my heart in a second of speaking

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

probably the usual “what if this had worked out” with a previous crush

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes. also yes. (don’t judge me)

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my pillow and my bed

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

stale air. it is summer and hot. please send help.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

this is gonna sound terrible, but probably in our car? I have so many bad memories and I hate driving it with a passion

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

west coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Shawn mendes, no doubt

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Helping other people

36: Define Art.

An expression of emotion so strong it makes the viewer also feel emotion

37: Do you believe in luck?

yes

38: What’s the weather like right now?

hOt

39: What time is it?

early evening

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes, not yet cause I barely ever drive

41: What was the last book you read?

the Odesseye

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

no???

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Way too many. My latest was “miracle” given to me by a ton of adorable middle schoolers who couldn’t remember anything but the first three letters of my name

44: What was the last film you saw?

the greatest showman

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

A sprained ankle

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Yeah, it’s a long story but this one I think tried to have sex with my finger

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

dude I always do. Jane the Virgin is television gOLD

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Right now I identify as either bisexual or pansexual 

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

just small ones about who I like (that weren’t true and complicated friendships)

50: Do you believe in magic?

I don’t know

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yeah, I’ve been trying to get better at it

52: What is your astrological sign?

Saggittarious

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I spend money way too easily, I’ve been trying to learn how to save more

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

A pretzel 

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

I wish

57: How many relationships have you had?

None that I’d like to count

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

At a bonfire

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

ohhhhh yeah

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

nope

62: What’s your favourite animal?

cats.

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Friendship wise it’s just asking how their day is and asking if their doing okay. Romantic wise, I am soooo mean to people I like so usually just teasing them and buying them food

64: Where is your best friend?

right now at her home hopefully

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@sophietheadventurer @s1n-am0n @darhwolf @undead-aesthetic @xqueenofpunsx

66: What is your heritage?

Mostly irish but my dad’s side has a heck of a lot of russian cause my great grandma is from Ukraine

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

sleeping like a wimp

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

mcdevil

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Nope

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I don’t know actually, I try to be the type of person I think a person NEEDS, so I would probs be pretty different if i was my friend

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

drown with the dog cause I can’t swim for crap but I’ll die trying

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I would only tell a couple people at first, the rest I’d tell farther in b) spend time with my family and friends and travel a whole lot/probs write ALOT c) I’d be more sad I didn’t have more time with the people I care about

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

love, I already don’t have trust let’s be real

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Good old days by macklemore just cause it’s amazing 

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

I’d give them out but like I already have way too many unknown numbers calling me

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Two people who connect on a mental/emotional/spiritual level who can be completely themselves with each other and don’t have to spend all their time together, but cherish every single minute

77: How can I win your heart?

food and musicals

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I think in a lot of ways it can, but that’s a whole debate in and of itself

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

coming back to the same summer camp every year

80: What size shoes do you wear?

7 and ½

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“Now the only extra she is is dead”

82: What is your favourite word?

chimney (long story)

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

falling in love

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“It’s not a look” or “oH honEy nO”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

“God made girls” It’s been stuck in my head for ages

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

it changes almost daily but right now it’s a bright pink

87: What is your current desktop picture?

subtle gay art

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

That’s a hard question, too many horrible people alive

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Someone irl asking my sexuality (i am very very deep in the closet)

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Probs go back to bed I’m a tired chick man

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Telepathy

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

this one specific car ride I had with my sister when I was younger

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my entire life as a thirteen year old

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

tie between Kesha and Shawn Mendes

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Greece

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

not that I know of but most likely yeah

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

wayyyyy too many times

98: Ever been on a plane?

yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

I would probably freeze up and say nothing

#long post #asks #answered #thanks dude #this actually helped me calm down alot

[archived--hell]

1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it

1 - already answered 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter 

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah

4. A character you rarely talk about?

HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg

8 - already answered

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh,  or derek but thats bc im a hoe

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?

i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby

17. Any OC OTPs?

stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur

18. Any OC crackships?

jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:

Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)

and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore! 

21. Your most artistic OC

!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

…yeah.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?

28. Your most dangerous OC?

He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

secret: damiannot so secret: colby

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

uHHhhHh 

damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)

33. Your shyest OC?

uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Jupiter and leo!

35. Any sibling characters?

Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur

jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary

39. Introduce any character you want

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one

1.) Lust2.) Greed

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.

tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs

with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

lordt ok

i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see

45. A character you no longer use?

a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

damian

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op

#general oc tag #Anonymous

[jcox]

For the horrible questions: whichever ones are most significant to you/you want to answer

this is so old i know but i finally got around to it and i just.. did all of them. so

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

~ yeah!

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

~ probably my mom

03: Do you regret anything?

~ Many Things lmao!! i can think of atleast like 4 things just today that i regret

04: Are you insecure?

~ sometimes but it’s something i’m working on

05: What is your relationship status?

~ Singol!

06: How do you want to die?

~ I Don’t (but like, probably in my sleep when i’m like 113)

07: What did you last eat?

~ avocado toast!!!!!!

08: Played any sports?

~ and enjoyed none of em

09: Do you bite your nails?

~ yah :-/

10: When was your last physical fight?

~ i did karate for a bit does that count

11: Do you like someone?

~ unfortunately

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

~ never.. a bich needs SLEEP

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

~ i try not to use that word but there r ppl i think should shut the fuck up

14: Do you miss someone?

~ YEP lmao

15: Have any pets?

~ 2 beautiful angel cats

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

~ Hungry

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

~ never made out period

18: Are you scared of spiders?

~ nah.. only black widows bc they’re kinda common where i live and i read that nancy drew book where she legit almost dies after getting bitten by one.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

~ probably not

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

~ never done it :-(

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

~ HOPEFULLY hanging out w a friend in the city

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

~ probably just one

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

~ just my ears

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

~ english and history/psych r the SHIT. also french is fun

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

~ yeah but i try not to dwell on it

26: What are you craving right now?

~ hmmm chicken pot pie. but when am i not craving chicken pot pie tbh

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

~ i hope not lmfao!

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

~ no

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

~ not to my knowledge

30: What’s irritating you right now?

~ the fact that i’m procrastinating a shit ton of things and am answering these instead

31: Does somebody love you?

~ many people and i’m so FUCKING grateful

32: What is your favourite color?

~ pink!!!!!!

33: Do you have trust issues?

~ i trust too easily and then regret it :-/

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

~ i think it was just abt a friend of mine

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

~ my friends whom i Miss because i knew i would miss them

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

~ yeah :-/

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

~ i prefer forgiving

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

~ i don’t know! i’m gonna say yes though :D

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

~ it hasn’t FUCKING happened yet and i’m honestly so bitter.. @ cute girls please.. hmu..

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

~ no???

51: Favourite food?

~ pasta is so good. we stan pasta

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

~ Yes!

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

~ most likely watched horrible youtube videos

54: Is cheating ever okay?

~ no

55: Are you mean?

~ i try not to be but i can come across that way especially with men i don’t know bc i instinctively don’t trust them

56: How many people have you fist fought?

~ only the people in karate when i was like ten lmfao

57: Do you believe in true love?

~ Yes!!!!!!

58: Favourite weather?

~ summer storms or sun!!!

59: Do you like the snow?

~ yeah!

60: Do you wanna get married?

~ i think so

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

~ if a girl called me babe or baby i’d die like my heart would stop

62: What makes you happy?

~ beautiful girls (read: all girls), my friends, words, the sun, art, lemon-flavored things, the color pink, flowers, dresses with pockets, sparkles, rose-scented perfume, music, trixie dela and pep, my cats

63: Would you change your name?

~ not legally for now. madi is a nickname but it’s rlly easy to tell ppl b/c it’s a rlly common nickname. idk if i’d change my name if i get married

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

~ i hate these kiss questions :-/ but i’ll broaden it from romantic kisses and say no

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

~ I Know Him and he wouldn’t LMFAO

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

~ YES see above he’s so cool and kind. he’s the One Good Cishet Man! also my brother who is an Icon

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

~ my Father

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

~ last Super deep convo was with four rlly good friends of mine! it lasted legit 2 hours and we talked about Everything it was so fun i miss them :’-)

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

~ platonic and otherwise! and multiple in a lifetime! these r things i believe very firmly

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

~ idk about Litcherally but i joke abt it all the time and in that sense So Many

#:-) thabk you #answered #anonymous

[littlegranite]

I was tagged by Kara, Mack, & Pilar by a question post thing that all have different questions. So here’s a bunch of questions about me! I’m sorry this is very long.

Rules: Answer 11 questions, and then write 11 of your own, and then tag some people

KARA’S

Other than April 25th, what’s your idea of a perfect date? Probably an art museum and coffee and a garden/flowers.

What’s your favorite cereal? cinnamon toast crunch. But does that count as a cereal? or just sugar?

when was the last time you happy danced? I happy-danced today while sitting down while playing the game Geoguessr when I found the small Russian town on the map.

favorite youtuber? Achievement Hunter for let’s plays, Michael Aranda (@whatimdoingrightnow) for his daily vlogs, & Wendover Productions for educational. 

What song have you had on repeat recently? Now, Now AZ

If you were in a sitcom what would your catch phrase be? hmm I dont know it would probably have me referring to someone else as “son” though.

What was the best concert you’ve ever been to? ohhh I’ve only been to a couple concerts but they were all So Good. Probably the Now, Now concert I went to last July. That went straight to my Soul. But second runner up is Ezra’s band’s concert last March.

in your opinion whats the best cards against humanity card? harry potter erotica

Who’s your favorite villian? uhhhh do I have one? tbh I can’t think of one I do like.

What’s your favorite sound(s)? rain, the sound of those big grinding espresso machines, asmr!, the sound of someone drawing/writing, the sound of sweet valid compliments. 

What’s your ideal Friday night? tbh I spend a Lot of weekend nights in on tumblr or playing video games or watching youtube. So it’s nice to go out for a change and socialize.

MACKENZIE’S

Favorite planet? Uranus is pretty even though it’s usually the butt of a joke.

Place you wish you could visit more? England!!!! I cry!!!

Your usual In-n-out order? cheeseburg with onion, no lettuce, fries, and either a diet coke or chocolate shake depending on how sad I am. 

What state have you never been to but want to? Washington, Maine, and Montana.

What was your favorite part of your day today? I got a ballet skirt I ordered from Etsy in the mail!! and It’s so pretty. I’m gonna try it on with all my garb tonight. 

Can you do a cartwheel? I probably could, but I also get scared of bonking my feeties on something, so you need to do it in a big field. Also I feel like it’s much harder to do as an adult with much more weight and tight muscles. But boi when I was a young sprout, I’d be cartwheeling my heart out.

Art museum or natural history museum? oh shit. natural history generally has Rocks, but I think art is more interesting to look at. Hmmmm I’d say art museum, but I love me Rocks.

Classic french fries, criss cut fries, or tater tots? Classic, those thin cut bois

Favorite cryptid? My love life. no hmm Ezra Miller. no hmmm probably Nessie.

What’s some good advice you’ve gotten recently? It’s admirable to be vulnerable, I’m probably most compatible with another Libra, when trying to hold a balance try to align your shoulders slightly ahead of your hips, if someone doesn’t care about you it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, increase the outline size of smaller map features then you can see them if you zoom in and out. 

What’s the closest non-electronic object near you right now? A hardcover copy of Madeline and some ice packs.

PILAR’S

What is your favorite beverage? iced latte

Favorite book and why? uhhh Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince because that was prime HP days and I love all the ramp up in that book and I was always a big Harry/Ginny shipper.

Is there a song you listen to a lot, but don’t know why yet? I love this because it shows how you can love a song a lot but find a much deeper meaning later on. Which has definitely happened to me! I feel like I knew why I love a lot of the songs I listen to, but right now probably Extraordinary Rendition by Sons of an Illustrious Father. I like but I don’t know why yet.

A pet peeve people don’t pick up on? It’s mostly all boil down to other people not having any god dang consideration or thoughtfulness for the other people around them and only think of themselves. 

The most amazing place you’ve ever been? England!! I cry!! I love their countryside. It makes me Die with Love.

Fave video game? Stardew Valley, all the Nancy Drew games, and the Lego Harry Potter games.

You are stuck on a tropical island with enough supplies to last you the 3 days it will take to rescue you. What 4 items you own do you take with you? There’s no reception or wifi. A new book, chapstick, moisturizer, a blanket

A movie is made about your life, what do you hope it to have in it? And what genre? tbh having a movie made about my life sounds horrible, but... I’d probably have it be an artsy, low budget wlw movie where I find heartbreak but also myself. Hmm there would be some ballet. and some pretty scenery, and rock collecting. Fascinating. 

You have 2 days to spend anywhere in the world, where would you go? Bristol, UK!!! I love it. I should probably go somewhere new. But I’d probably just go to Bristol and have a cry.

What is one thing you got into that you thought you’d never? Ballet, really. I always thought it was for 6-year-olds in tutus or skinny 13-year-olds who can wrap their leg around their head. I never thought it was something I could learn from scratch and especially with having the body that I have. 

Is there a movie you quote all the time in real life? Finding Nemo, the Incredibles, and Shrek. Basically all the animated movies from around 2000.

QUESTIONS

Holy shit that took forever. Thank u for anyone who actually read all that. Okay I’m going to take my favorite 11 questions from the ones above and tag people:

when was the last time you happy danced?  favorite youtuber?  in your opinion whats the best cards against humanity card?  Place you wish you could visit more? What was your favorite part of your day today?  What’s some good advice you’ve gotten recently? Is there a song you listen to a lot, but don’t know why yet?  Fave video game?  What is one thing you got into that you thought you’d never?  Art museum or natural history museum?  What’s your favorite sound(s)?

TAGGED

I don’t know what people like doing this stuff and people who don’t. So no pressure, but tagging: @dogsandkittens, @cwtchpup, @mightyflower, @gaylittlelamb, @angiechuwho, @iknewiwouldregretthis, @somewhalesareblue, @kerasines, @zibbybaps, @onthewronglead

#question tag game #woooooo boi that was a long one

[cindyfelicia]

Hi, I hope you’re doing well!! I was just wondering if you read comics? If so could you recommend some/ how to start getting into them? I want to start reading them, but it’s so stressful trying to figure out where to start. Also I love you blog!

Hi there! you’re all manners of sweet and kind thank u my advice abt approaching comics is going for solo runs first, this is how I, personally, did it and it’s way easier than jumping in on team books, or worse events bc they tend to be messier and need more bg info and pre-existing knowledge than a comic that focus on just the one character; I also feel it’s good to start with current or at least recent comics, you can always read the old stuff when you’re better acquainted with how comics work and which characters, artists and writers you like (or can tolerate).

actual recs under the cut because this got so long

i was gonna do a whole list of mcu characters’ solos because most people entry point to comics rn is superhero movies, and hmu if you want that, but instead I think I’m gonna rec you some good comics that are either separated enough from main marvel continuity as to be intelligible without extensive info gathering, or I just think they’re great and worth a bit of confusion (part of starting out reading comics is not knowing fully wth is going on sometimes, but stiking with it for some good art or for characters you love -I’m not gonna go so far as to say for good writing bc that’s just not realistic):

if you like yourself some spider-people:- silk (2015) and vol 2 (2016) are my absolute favorites- I’m not very much into spiderman but I read renew your vows  and it’s lovely,  it’s just not a main universe comic it’s an au where things are as, imo, they should be with ye old web slinger, and it’s good for getting your feet wet in the huge pool of spider-man comics;- I love miss jessica drew (spider-woman) but her solo is……. questionable if someone has a good jess drew intro rec pls tell me so I can pass it on, - miles morales has been written badly in more ways than one but I love him so I suffer, I can direct you without scruples only to his novel tho, absolutely lovely and not written by brian michaelbendis lmao- anya corazon is a really good character that marvel loves to forget it has, let’s not make the same mistake;- black widow 2014 and 2016 and bw: the name of the rose are all good comics (I know technically nat isn’t a spider person but like nothing about spider-woman’s powers screams ‘spider’ either so..

for wakanda I’d say good recent start-ups would be: - black panther (2016), - black panther: world of wakanda (w/ a lesbian couple as protag), - and rise of the black panther (ongoing)

some non x-men team books that are easier to approach as a beginner imho:-young avengers vol 2 (vol 1 has its moments if you want to start from the beginning with them but a lot of it involves the civil war arc and stuff.. also some characters die, the art is less good and I want to protect people from 17’s yo cassie lang’s nipples poking through her shirt.. I wish someone had protected me tbh) -I want to rec some Runaways but besides the current run (which is alright) there’s a lot to be said against the writing in most of the rest of them maybe vol 1? to have the origins pinned down-I feel like after a small read through of what exactly the hell was going on with secret wars you could approach A-Force vol 1 and the first half of vol 2 (the second half ties in with civil war II and I’m not touching that mess) and that and avenger world and sometimes secret avengers to me are good avengers books-she hulk 2014 and totally awesome hulk are my greens of choice but if you want an intro to bruce banner idont actually know, sorry-for the asgardians: thor 2014 and it’s follow up mighty thor, thor: god of thunder, angela: asgard’s assassin and its sequel angela: queen of hel, and loki: agent of asgard are my pick of this crop-we also have Fun here at marvel comics on occasion and both patsy walker aka hellcat and squirrel girl are nice in their own way although the latter isn’t really my thing

some follow up on the young avengers:- hawkeye (2013) an absolute fan favorite, good to discover that actually clint barton was a good character it’s that the avengers movies are just bad and hate people with disabilities- a couple of follow-ups to that (x) (x) and the kate bishop solo all pretty nice- america chavez’s solo (I’m just here to suggest gay comics, that’s almost all I read really)

I want to rec Champions to people but frankly it’s just a long series of event interruptions and bullshit interspersed with a couple of nice moments so far, so I’m gonna rec you some kids that are in the champions and have solos I haven’t already mentioned:- kamala khan’s book is probably my favorite ongoing series at marvel right now about any non-mutant char, I cannot say enough good about it,- nova is nice,- miles morales (spider-man) and amadeuscho (totally awesome hulk) are also there but I’ve already mentioned themalso in this house we love and respect elektranatchiosand any other attitude just isn’t tolerated.

on to the x-men, gotta love those guys, you just gotta:- like I said I prefer to tell people to start from recent comics but with the xmen that’s so difficult? it’s been 10+ bad years for them because of the movie rights situation and just marvel being shit in general, so my one recent team book to approach the x-men is prob x-men ‘92? because its based off of the xm animated series so you don’t have to straightaway deal with some mutant plague, eugenics plots, and other catastrophic events, but you can still get to know more of the char we all love - I want to say generation x vol 2, it’s not a good starting point for anything really but I love it so so much I had to mention it even tho it was cancelled and I’m still angry as hell about it.

the solo situation is better. I’m gonna be able to breathe without tasting my own bile while I type this, hurray!-all new wolverine follows laura kinney as she takes up the mantle from logan-iceman, good solid comic abt coming out and ice puns, who doesn’t like bobby really-jean grey, yes she’s a teen girl in this, yes it’s weird and I hate de-aging characters but it’s nice to see her train with different mutants, struggling with the incoming phoenix force and her adult self’s shadow, not really great entry point to jean grey but id read it anyway-if you were into the 00’s xmen movies like me, or at least a normal person’s amount the phoenix recently returned and with her adult!jean grey, it was a good book for me and good if you want to later start reading the actual phoenix saga (which is a lot of material so starting small with this might help) -I love wandamaximoff and despite what they’ve done to the maximoffs in order to bring them into the mcu (was it worth it for that result btw? really?) her recent book was good and I genuinely loved it -storm’s solo is so good, you’re gonna fall in love with an het ship and you’re not gonna regret it either-rogue and gambit, is ongoing and it’s good to get a little acquainted with these characters but mostly it’s about explorign their relationship

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of good x-men content atm but I can’t stop thinking I need to mention that there are ongoing series you could pick up its just.. I hate them.. some started out promising (xmen gold, astonishing xmen), but they’ve not developed in good directions imo, but I still feel they should be mentioned, there’s also a weapon x comic if you want to go for a more bloody kind of book and xmen blue if you like time displaced teens or something? god its bad

jeez this is so so long and guess what? I haven’t even finished yet.. there’s some excellent indie comics out there and with those you really don’t need to worry abt knowing any 30 years old lore or anything you pick them up and they explain themselves like any other normal media out there, I know, be still my heart:

- lumberjanes is my absolute favorite, a little corny, but so much fun and cuteness and if I could go back in time I’d give it to my little bi self so she’d know she’s not alone and anything I feel that ways about has a special place i my heart js

- Motor crush, there really isn’t any other comic book with a black lesbian as protagonist out there that I can think of, good if you’re into motorcycles but if like in my case that threatens to put you to sleep, it also has a sci-fi streak and solid character work, you won’t regret giving it a try

- moonstruck, cute non-white gay werewolves and other mythological creatures are there, I feel this cathers to me specifically every time I open it?? bless

- Hi-Fi fight club or heavy vinyl (they changed the title) if you want a period piece that’s fun and cute and gay (I meant it about me reading only gay comics as you can tell)

- saga, for a space, well ya know.. saga I feel that I can describe it as romeo and juliet in space with added racial commentary except they don’t kill themselves, I have to say not my favorite but you might stick with it for the characters, I sure do

- the wicked + the divine, I feel very much the same about this as I do about saga, only this is mythology based so like.. I sold my soul to it, but please do tread with care there’s a lot of deaths in it and so many of these dead people are gays and/or poc.. I’m none too pleased about it and I’d understand anyone not wanting to pick it up, I mean the deaths are basically in the premises of the books but that doesn’t change the end result..

lastly like I said dc is not my area of expertise but I’ve been following with pleasure both batwoman and green lanterns, and mr miracle was an amazing comic so I thought I’d mention them

#this is so long I'm sorry #I do hope it's somewhat helpful #Anonymous

[thedeadflag]

Forced Marriage WIP

(tentatively titled Faithfully, because the way I’ve outlined it, it’s a fair bit of a journey)

So this one’s existed for, like...half a year-ish? In some form or another? I keep cannibalizing one form and rewriting it slightly, tbh. This version’s loose outline got drafted on a car ride down to the USA to visit family for Canadian Thanksgiving back in october. 

Some sections here are a bit brief and in need of filling out, but again, it’s a WIP, very early on in this one

Here’s the latest start to it. Starts angsty, but it’s planned to get a lot fluffier as it goes on

Stark. Clinical. Soulless.

A litany of words ran through her mind as the made her way down the hallway to her father's room in Polis General, the same list that she'd cobbled together and added onto over the past seven months. It wasn't right. Her father didn't deserve to be trapped in a place like this; he'd always been so imbued with life, filling every space he walked into with his joy and warmth.

These days, even he couldn't manage to fill that bleak little room. It wasn't right.

Anya shook her head and stopped a foot by of the doorway, psyching herself up. He'd sent her away to get herself some coffee, and being the loyal daughter she was, she did as her father requested, but she knew it was all to buy him time to gather his strength so he could recycle another of their recent arguments.

Up until now, she'd resisted, with good reason. Up until now, she'd shut him down, and argued back until she was too raw to remain, but it was different this time. When she saw him earlier that morning, she knew, deep inside her she knew, and there was nothing left for her to say, no more ammunition.

After all, how could she deny her father his last request?

Anya took in a gulp of air and nodded to herself steeling her nerves as she took a reluctant step towards the room, and then another that put her halfway across the threshold. It'd been a moment a long time coming, and she knew he was exhausted and he'd fought a good fight. He'd beaten cancer three times in her lifetime, an objectively remarkable feat for anyone. He'd suffered greatly, and this last bout had taken everything out of him, and she wouldn't be his daughter if she didn't understand the importance of mercy.

Still didn't mean she had to like it. She wanted him to be at rest, to be pain-free, for his fight to be over, but she couldn't stomach losing him, either. Just looking at him had her heart feeling like it was being violently torn from its tethers, a painful growing pressure coursing through her body as she stepped over to his bedside.

There was no one left. A car crash had taken her mother seven years back, although her parents had been going through a bitter divorce across the months leading up to then, so even without that, her mother likely would have been gone. And now her father was leaving her. It wasn't right. It just wasn't right, and Anya knew her father's plan, she knew it off by heart at this point, but it didn't change that in the end, she'd be alone. No matter who he insisted she surround herself with, she'd be alone.

She'd always had him. What was she supposed to do without him? Who was she supposed to turn to when she needed someone?

"Please don't make me do this. There has to be another way. I'm begging you...anyone but her." Anya reached down and clutched his hand, knowing he was already in too much pain to feel much extra.

Her father's eyes were drooping heavily, barely open. Still, his voice was clear as always. Cancer had stolen so much from him, but not that. "They'll take good care of you. They'll keep you safe. And you...I will not deny you your truth. You deserve to have a woman in your life...Clarke is one of the few who could make this work here. Trust me, pumpkin...they are good people."

Anya sniffed back her tears and forced the bitterness in her stare toward the window. "You're asking too much. It's too much, and I'm not even friends with her. I don't like her."

It was the truth. They used to be friends, but Ontari and Roan moved into Polis in grade three and shuffled her into their friend group while Clarke went in another direction. She and Clarke hadn't been remotely close since, which would have been impossible anyways with how often the brother-sister duo always butted heads with the girl. Not that she hadn't tried to get them to stop, but when that only drew ire from all parties involved, she just backed off and let the issues stay between the three of them. That said, she probably hadn't helped in fostering a deep, lengthy rivalry with the girl across swimming and art.

And while her father was childhood friends with the Griffins, she rarely encountered them over the years, and she was pretty sure Clarke's parents didn't like her much at all after everything, if just by association with her friends, or through her multi-pronged rivalry with Clarke.  Why they would ever agree to her father's ridiculous plan was a complete mystery to her, but they were apparently on board.

But she knew what would happen. She'd lose all of her friends, for one; sure, most were moving away once they graduated in a few weeks, but she'd already lost enough people close to her in life. Losing her father and her friends? Not an option. She'd rather it be anyone but the nerdy outcast who always butted heads with her and was like living sandpaper with the friction she brought to Anya's life.

Anyone else would be preferable. Just about anyone at all.

"You're so strong, Anya. So strong, and I love that, but you need balance in this life. You need someone who can be strong for you when you need it, and you will. I know you will." Her father countered easily, his words drawing her attention back to his tired, loving gaze. "She is resilient, just like her mother. She is...a good girl. Smart girl, like you. You liked each other once."

"That was a lifetime ago. She pretty much hates me now." Anya insisted, knowing it was the raw, uncomfortable truth her father needed to hear. "We can't turn back the clock and pretend the last few years didn't happen, daddy."

"I would never dream of it. I could never regret a second I've spent with you, not one." Her father spoke before letting out a hacking cough. "Do I need to recite some old poetry?"

"Oh, come on, no..."

"All things will change thro' eternity. 'Tis the world's winter; autumn and summer are gone long ago. Earth is dry to the center, but spring, a newcomer..." Her father began, diving into Tennyson as usual.

"...a spring rich and strange, shall make the winds blow round and round, thro' and thro', here and there, till the air and the ground shall be filled with life anew. Don't play games with me...you're dying, I don't...I don't need you to tell me things will change and get better when you're here now, and you're dying." Anya cut in, trying her best to keep her voice from shaking, but it was no use. She could see him starting to fade. Not so much he'd be dying in the next few minutes, but he was quickly running out of time.

Time that was better spent on each other than about the Griffins.

"What's the old saying? 'To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die'. You will never go without me...you have seventeen years and five months with me to remember me by. I'd like to think...that I've taught you enough in this life to help you with the next few years at least." Her father, of course, always had some quote or poem to pull.

Leave it to him to tug at her heartstrings like that. "Daddy, please...you know....you know you mean everything to me."

The smile that bloomed on his face was impossible not to return, all warm and reassuring. Nearly enough for her to forget the ever-looming presence of death at the edge of the room.

"The world was never made...it will change, but it will not fade. So let the wind rage, for even and morn ever will be through eternity. Nothing was born, nothing will die...all things will change." He recited, slowly bringing his other hand over to clasp over Anya's. "Even that will change, Anya. My...my light isn't bright enough to fill your world. You need more...so if it doesn't work out, it's fine, but...I want you to promise me you'll try to let their light in. I'm your father...if I can't take care of you, I need to know you're okay until you're old enough to be by yourself. So I need you to promise that...that you'll try. And I need you to promise...I need..."

"Daddy..."

"I need you to promise me that you'll marry her."

Just the thought of it had her heart blistering in pain, having vowed to never marry, to never have a family of her own, but after all they'd been through, she couldn't deny him this. Lord help her, but she couldn't deny him the peace of mind before he passed over. If he needed this, she'd do it for him. And knowing who her extended family was, and what they'd have planned for her as soon as he passed on, she knew he wasn't asking her to take her time.

Anya could endure the remaining months until she was eighteen and could be granted an annulment. Better that they head into their futures pretending it had never happened, even if something like this did echo her own views on the institution of marriage and how big of a farce the institution was in claiming to revolve around love, a pretty little myth that wouldn't be found in the legal contract her father wanted to enter into.

So she nodded along, jaw clenching at the tears that fell freely down her cheeks. "I promise."

Her father deflated with relief, his hand rubbing over hers. "Thank you, pumpkin. I...I had the nurse call them an hour ago. They should be in the chapel. The paperwork is...it's taken care of. You'll be taken care of." He let out, voice growing sluggish as sleep started to pull at his consciousness. "You'll be sad, Anya. Angry, if I know you...and I do. But you will be happy again one day. And you will always be loved. I promise you this. I promise..."

Anya just squeezed his hand as he slipped back into unconsciousness, leaving her to fulfill his dying wish.

If there was such a thing as fate, it was cruel.

The persistent knocking at the door may as well have been her entire future, as far as Clarke was concerned. She usually loved Thursdays, it was the day when the art room would open up after school and students could bring their own works from home, or the ones they'd stashed in the class' storage, and keep working on them. Ms. Gunderson apparently used to be some big shot stock broker who left that career in her early forties, and was all too happy to pour her extra money into art supplies for anyone that wanted some. Clarke would usually stick around until eight, maybe nine at night.

Instead, she was locked away in the hospital cancer ward's on-call room, with her mother trying to lure her out so her future could be annihilated that much faster. Apparently, wanting to hold onto whatever hopes and dreams she had left was rude and disrespectful.

"Clarke, get out of there! The doctors need that room!"

She stormed over to the door. "You may be the Chief of Surgery, mom, but when it comes to my life, I'm in charge!"

"I know you're upset, but this is another girl's life here, and you know it. You heard what Mister Hadar told you last week...you heard about their family from Azgeda and what they've wanted done to Anya for a while now, what they'd do if they got guardianship of her." Her mother was tossing on the guilt trip, and it more than stung like normal. This time, it felt like a knife was lodged in her chest, and every breath she took only drove it in deeper. "I know you're upset, but this is temporary. In ten years you'll hardly remember it, it'll be ancient history, and she won't have suffered in some godforsaken conversion camp when it was avoidable."

It wasn't as if she needed to be reminded of the stakes. She'd spent many weekends in her life fighting for Trigeda to implement a state-wide ban on conversion therapy, one that had gone into effect a year and a half ago. Clarke wasn't narcissistic enough to take credit for the new law, but it was part of her principles, part of her vision for working towards better lives for LGBT people in her state, her country.

She knew the dangers Anya faced from her horrible Aunt Nia and the Frost family. She knew that half a year to a year and a half was more than enough time to inflict untold horrors on a vulnerable, grieving girl. She knew the stakes, they'd been drilled into her over and over across the past three weeks.

She just didn't understand why no one ever considered what this would do to her. As if it wouldn't affect her at all, as if it wouldn't destroy major hopes and dreams she'd held onto for most of her life.

"Clarke, do the right thing."

The right thing.

She wasn't just going to leave Anya high and dry, regardless of how she felt about the girl. She wouldn't be so selfish to be party to subjecting Anya to suffering that she'd fought so hard against over the years. No, she would indeed do the right thing.

Just, could she not have a little bit of a breather and vent before watching her entire future go up in flames? Was that really too much to ask? Was it so out of line to hold onto the last fleeting shreds of her life plans as long as she could before their inevitable destruction?

It wasn't fair, but life had never been particularly fair to her, so that wasn't anything new. It was just a major heaping of unfairness, and she deserved support and patience, not being rushed to the altar right after school in her skinny jeans and her old grey top she wore on Fridays, both of which were more than a little paint-marred. Not that she was embarrassed, but getting married in her art clothes wasn't exactly part and parcel with all she'd hoped for on her wedding day. Given the fact that she was marrying a veritable nemesis of hers instead of a loved one, as a freshly minted eighteen year old, within a state where same gender marriage wasn't yet on the books, officiated by a Methodist reverend to fit her parents' religious views as if this was actually legitimate marriage and not just an arrangement, the straw on the camel's back had already long since broken. This was just the rotten cherry on top, adding insult to injury.

Clarke didn't bother to wipe the tears from her face, knowing there was no shortage of them and she wasn't equipped to keep them away, not right now. No, she grabbed the door handle, unlocked it, and pulled it open, glaring down her mother.

"Just because it's the right thing to do, doesn't mean it's right, mom."

It never would be right. In no universe was her marrying Anya Hadar a good and right thing that would lead her towards a better life. However many miserable months later, when they eventually got annulled or divorced, all she'd have to show for it would be an array of broken hopes and dreams and a derailed future with no chance at getting back on track.

She'd do it. She wouldn't be Clarke Griffin if she didn't, but she wished even just one other person knew the cost of what they'd asked of her.

"Let's get this over with." She grit out, marching back towards the chapel to confront her fate, the life she knew falling away behind her with every step.

The chapel felt better fit for a wake than a funeral when she stepped into it, Clarke mirroring her own expression with clear anger, grief, and nausea practically shining in neon lights across her face. Clearly, neither of them wanted to be there, neither of them wanted this, and yet, there they were.

Anya fought back another wave of nausea at the sudden recognition of Clarke as her bride. Weddings and marriage had always been a farce, but it was hard to distance herself from all the social messaging around it. Some part of her, a tiny part, felt the magnitude of what was happening to them, and it was sick.

Not that she would, but if she ever married of her own volition, it certainly wouldn't be Clarke Griffin standing with her at the altar. Not even with the girl's unique situation allowing her the ability to marry another woman where most wouldn't be able to. She supposed it was a benefit counterbalanced by the fact that Clarke, as a bi woman, wasn't eligible to marry a man.

It let her be able to take advantage of the situation, or at least allow their parents to take advantage given her outright disapproval of the plan, and Clarke's evident disdain of the situation. So while she could take heart in that she would never have it on record that she'd ever married a man, and fulfill her father's dying wish, Anya was pretty sure that Clarke wasn't getting anything out of this.

She would have felt bad for her in most any other circumstance, but her father was dying and she couldn't spare the energy to care about Clarke. Not right now, at least.

"Can we get this show on the road already? I have somewhere to be." She ground out, marching up to the altar to stand beside Clarke with a huff that she ensured conveyed her full annoyance at the matter. She gestured to the reverend the Griffins must have brought. "Come on, get on with it."

The man shot her an affronted glance before focusing on his script. "We are gathered here today in the sight of God to witness and bless the joining together of Clarke and Anya in marriage. The covenant of marriage was established by God, who...with his presence and power, graced a wedding at Cana of Galilee. And, in his sacrificial love, God gave us the example for the love of two souls. Clarke and Anya come to give themselves to one another in this holy covenant." The reverend began, thankfully milling through his script at a decent clip instead of the many she'd known in the past to drag things out. It was a small mercy, but a mercy nonetheless. One she might have taken comfort in had Clarke not started sniffling across from her. "I ask you now, in the presence of God and these people, to declare your intention to enter into union with each other, through the grace of Jesus Christ, who calls you into union with himself as acknowledged in your baptism."

At that, the reverend handed them both a piece of cardstock with a few words on them for the ceremony of it all, as if that was remotely important and not simply a complete waste of time. Why they couldn't just sign a document and get it over with, Anya had no idea.

Clarke took a shaking breath, her father's hand massaging the girl's shoulder as she seemed to fight for composure. Well, that or to keep from vomiting or breaking down. Anya wasn't entirely certain, nor did she really care.

"Clarke, will you have this woman to be your wife, to live together with her in holy marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her, and keep her in sickness and in health, and...forsaking all others...be faithful to her until death do you part?" The reverend continued his spiel, and Anya could feel each second burning away at her soul, knowing each was one she'd never get back. Each second was lost time she could be spending with her father, if her father hadn't concocted this absurd plan and roped her into it.

"I will." Clarke let out, voice all quiet and strangled, shoulders starting to shake from the clear emotions bubbling up within the girl.

"Anya, will you have this man to be your husband, to live..."

"Woman." She bit out alongside the pained gasp across from her, her focus turning razor sharp onto the reverend, who immediately flushed at his blatant error. Anya refused to even spare a glance Clarke's way, not wanting to risk any measure of compassion or empathy when her energy was better spent getting through this and getting back to her father. "I'm a lesbian, I'd never marry a man. This whole thing's a fucking sham, and I'd never marry her on my own anyways, but we're two women, and you're not going to make another fucking mistake like that again or so help me fucking god."

"My sincerest apologies, I was reading for the script and...and it doesn't matter. I'm sorry." The man glanced at both of them and Clarke's parents before continuing. "Anya, will you have this woman to be your wife, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her, and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her until death do you part?"

She rolled her eyes at the sincerity in his voice, as if this wasn't a bit of legal finagling to get her a new guardian that would supersede her extended family. It wasn't holy, or rooted in love and mutual faith. It was a business transaction.

Still, she had to say the words, even if they felt like acid coming off her tongue. "I will."

At that, Clarke's father handed out a pair of simple wedding bands to each of them, because apparently being branded as another person's property was necessary.  Not wanting to waste any more time on the farce of a ceremony, Anya reached over and grabbed Clarke's hand.

"I, Anya Hadar, take you, Clarke Griffin, to be my wife. To have and to hold, and all that shit. With this ring, I wed you." She was quickly running out of patience, feeling the invisible pull of her father, not wanting to miss out on the little time they had left together. She jammed the ring down Clarke's finger more than anything, but with how upset Clarke already sounded, given Anya wouldn't look her in the eyes, it didn't seem as if she made anything worse.

Clarke's grip on her hand wasn't as vise-like, but it was firm enough that Anya'd probably need a little effort to pull her hand free. She could respect that, if nothing else.

"I, Clarke Griffin, take you, Anya Hadar, to be my wife from this time onward. I pledge to share my life openly with you, to speak the truth to you in love. I promise to honor and tenderly care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfillment as an individual through all the changes of our lives. I promise to be loyal to you with my whole being as long as we both shall live. This is my solemn vow." Clarke recited, hand shaking as she slipped the band over the tip of Anya's ring finger.

It was the way that Clarke took hold of her hand with both of hers that on instinct had Anya's gaze drifting upward, meeting Clarke's tearful, stormy eyes. She immediately recognized the fresh grief and pain there from before, but there was a new intensity as well, a similar sort of determination swirling in there to the kind that bewildered and aggravated her to no end during swim meets.

"With this ring, I...I give you my promise that from this day forward you shall not walk alone. I have no greater gift to give. May my heart be your shelter, and my arms be your home. May we walk together through all things, for I will share with you my joy so that it be multiplied, as I will share your pain, that it be divided.  With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you." Clarke finished sliding the band down her finger to where it settled, never breaking eye contact with her.

Anya would never admit it later, but she averted her gaze first, finding the vows and the intensity radiating off Clarke to be a special, disconcerting sort of distraction that she just did not need to concern herself with at the moment. She did not need those infuriatingly piercing blue eyes boring into her damned soul over a fake wedding ceremony. She did not need the tension in her chest from Clarke offering to be her home, as if that was anything Clarke would or could ever offer her.

As if that was anything she'd ever want, either, despite the deep knot forming in her chest. Whatever, it'd been a really emotional day, it just made sense that Clarke could inadvertently feed off of some of that and stir up a response in her. It wasn't like any of it was real or legit; the last thing she wanted was to get married, and the last thing she needed was any sort of partner.

She was more than fine on her own.

"Anya and Clarke, just as two very different threads woven in opposing directions can form a beautiful tapestry, so can your two lives merge together to form a beautiful marriage. To make your marriage work will take love." Anya scoffed at the reverend's assertion, although he wasn't entirely wrong. The only reasons she'd endure the sham of a marriage until its end point would be the love she held for her father. No other reason. "Love should be the cornerstone of your marriage, but it will also take trust...to know in our hearts that you want the best for each other. It will take dedication to stay open to one another, to learn and to grow together even when this is not always so easy to do. It will take faith, to be willing to go forward to tomorrow through the grace of God, not knowing what it will bring. And it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey God has set you upon what you both now pledge to share together."

Anya rolled her eyes about as hard as she ever had as the Reverend brought her hands to cover Clarke's hands. Clarke's warm, soft hands.  "Now that Clarke and Anya have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands, and the offering of rings, I announce to you that they are wife and wife, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no one put asunder. The peace of the Lord be with you both, always. Amen."

As soon as the reverend let go of her hands, she marched over to the side table in the chapel and scribbled her signature onto the paperwork waiting there. "Well, this has been fun, but I have somewhere to be." She nearly slammed the pen down, the chapel's air more and more stifling and suffocating with each breath. It was all preposterous and ridiculous, and she needed to get away to somewhere she could breathe again, somewhere that was real and genuine.

Thankfully, no one called out after her as she stormed out of the chapel, finding her way back across the hospital to her father's room to plop down in the chair at his bedside, the steady beep of his monitors dismissing her nerves, bringing her out of the chaotic senselessness of the wedding and back to more stable ground.

Anya took his hand and held on, hoping he'd been right about all he'd said, that she'd be happy again one day. With the prospect of life without him approaching quickly, and the sham marriage to Griffin, it was hard to imagine his assertions could be further from the truth.

The call had come in the middle of the night.

After she'd been crying in her room for two hours, and her father had finally stepped into ther room to check on her, the call had come in, whisking away any shot at a reprieve. Her mother and father had left for the hospital a little past one, leaving her with orders to finish prepping the guest room for Anya, not that she had any idea how to help with that, let alone where she'd find the energy. She'd already done the laundry, made the bed, made room for any of Anya's things she might bring over, and installed the old mini-fridge by the bedside. There wasn't much else to do, leaving her to lounge in her room with Snoopy at her side, too burnt from anxiety and tears to sleep.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, it was the weekend, so she could afford to be awake. She could fix her sleep schedule later, and there was a good chance her mother and father would allow her to take a mental health day on Monday if she really wanted to, especially since it was so late in the school year and she'd kept up in her studies. Not that it mattered anymore, with her life ruined and all.

God knows she deserved time to grieve and process after everything.

Hell, Clarke wasn't sure she'd ever been so humiliated and heartbroken at the makeshift ceremony earlier that evening. All her life, marriage had been something she'd fantasized about as a positive, life-affirming event where she'd be joining herself to the person she loved, the person who wanted to spend the rest of their life with her as their wife. She'd be surrounded by gleeful, accepting friends and family members, she'd say her personal, handwritten vows, they'd kiss each other to celebrate, and then they'd spend the night celebrating their union with all their loved ones.

Instead, she'd been called a man, bitterly rejected at the altar, had even the simplest vows spat on by her bride who seemed repelled by even holding hands with her and having heard her makeshift, cobbled together vows she'd pulled off the top of her head. The ceremony was concise, and tiny, just her parents, Anya, and some stranger reverend she'd never met in her life, certainly not the one from her church.

Hell, the only reason she hadn’t been more devastated about the misgendering was that a lot of the jerks at school had gotten her so used to the experience that it was more second nature to let it roll over her, except this was her wedding, and the officiant had called her a man, a husband. 

Clarke the Husband. 

Because even after some very good fortune with hormones and genetics, apparently that’s what she’d remain in a lot of people’s eyes. Trigeda was much more accepting than Azgeda, and Polis was the most LGBT+ friendly city in the world, arguably, but there was still so much to be done, and so much shit to trawl through, and her wedding should have been a safe place away from that. A place where, bare minimum, she was accepted as the woman she was.

All in all, it'd been a soul-wrenching disaster, a nightmarish wreck of what should have been one of the best days of her life, the first day of the rest of her life with her partner. They'd get a dog, they'd have children, have a family so full of love and hope. She'd spent so long dreaming about falling in love, of someone falling in love with her, and creating a bright future for themselves.

All of those hopes and dreams were gone now.

She'd barely made it home to bed before collapsing, dehydrated and eyes stinging from her unrelenting weeping.

As always, Snoopy was there to cuddle with her and attempt to cheer her up, her pup burrowing into her side. She could always count on him for comfort, and even in his old age, he was still spry enough to hop up onto bed with her. If she was going to get through the next half year or so, she was going to need him at her side.

Wells and Raven, too, but both were gone this weekend and on social media blackout, having left on their debate club trip to Nationals with their coach mandating that they purely focus on Saturday evening's event. The wedding had initially been planned for next week, so she didn't blame them for not being around. She just missed her friends.

Being alone had never been easy for her. Not that her parents hadn’t hung around for a bit to comfort her after everything, but they’d also put her up to this in the first place, so it was hard to really accept that at face value.

And given the newly bleak future outlook she had to deal with, she'd probably end up alone more than not over the years. After all, having sexual experience wasn't always frowned upon, but being an eighteen year old divorcee? Who would even want to look her way again once they learn about that?

Probably no one. As much as she always fought to hold onto hope, it was hard. In the face of her new future, it was a daunting task, one she wasn't sure she was capable of.

"All I wanted was to marry someone who loved me. Most people get that...why couldn't I?" She wiped at her face with the back of her hand, taking comfort in Snoopy nuzzling her shoulder as she pet him with her other. "And Anya...she looked so...angry when I said the vows. I know she probably hates me, but...she didn't even try to make it okay for me. She was...shit, she was offended that I put any effort into mine, even if I winged them. I just..."

She let out a sigh, unsure exactly how to finish that thought. In truth, she wasn't sure why she'd recited those vows, not in the heat of the moment, and not really hours later, either. The only thing she remembered thinking was that it wasn't right. It wasn't right to go through the ceremony and not try to respect it, to not respect each other to even a basic extent despite everything. If she did want to get married later in life, she'd need to not have the whole thing ruined for her the first time around, after all. How to keep it from being ruined was just a complete mystery, though, and not something she was sure she could manage.

And sure, their marriage wasn't rooted in love, not in the usual sense. Anya did it out of love for her father, that much was clear, and Clarke did it out of love for her greater LGBT community, her people, but as individuals? It didn't play a role

"Maybe that's why she was mad. Maybe she thought I was just...saying words for their own sake. She's always been a bit brutal and honest. As much as I wasn't lying, I...I guess I wasn't telling the whole truth, either, maybe. I don't know." She worked through her thoughts, going back over her vows, mentally pushing away the stricken expression on Anya's face when she'd spoken them.

The sound of the front door opening downstairs had her and Snoopy's ears perking up, her pup predictably getting to his feet and off the bed to greet her parents and Anya.

Anya who, by now, almost certainly had lost her father.

Her father listened to the radio religiously in the car, and always came in singing or whistling something, no matter the hour, but there was none of that as she listened, breathless in anticipation. Just slow, plodding footsteps making their way around the ground floor briefly before ascending the stairs. 

Clarke got out of bed, tiptoeing over to the door and quietly closing it, hearing some muted conversation between her father and Anya as they made their way up the hall. Or, talking on her father's part, and crying that only made sense coming from Anya.

Because of course her father would be comforting Anya. He was an empathetic soul, he hated when anyone was hurting, and she couldn't hate him for that, but she knew how this would go. Anya lost her father, that would take priority. There was no hope of him or her mother helping her get through this with any consistency. Not even Snoopy had come back to her.

Clarke's teeth bit into her lip, the taste of copper soon touching her tongue, sharp and distinct like the intense rivalry she'd had with Anya over the years.

The burden of her life's demise was her own cross to bear, and if she had to, she'd bear it alone so her parents and Anya wouldn't have to, not that they'd probably notice. It'd be better that way for everyone, it was the right thing to do; she just had to survive the weekend before she'd be able to have her friends help her through it.

"Just have to get through today and tomorrow." She muttered into the darkness, capping off her thoughts as she got up and made her way back to bed, feeling much sleepier now. She could wait until she woke up fully rested before putting any specific plans to action.

Only time would tell if she'd have any luck, but she had to hope for something better than this.

He was gone.

He was gone, and she was alone, tucked into a strange bed, in a strange room in a strange house, having been whisked away in the dead of night. She couldn't even go home.

Not that the Griffins hadn't tried, but her Aunt had been a 'guest' at their home for a week now, like a damned vulture, and the woman and her burly family members no doubt would have taken her straight to Azgeda by force had she entered through her front door.

Her father had been smart enough to have her pack some things in advance and keep the luggage in his hospital room, so she wasn't without some necessities, but she still felt foreign in the Griffin household.

She was alone now. Alone, isolated, no family left to her name. No friends to keep her company and comfort her, although she was certain Luna and Lincoln would be by whenever she felt good enough to reach out. It didn't ease any of the blinding pain coursing through her grief-wracked frame, but it offered a minor reprieve in the future, and she could cling onto that eventuality for now.

Anya thought she'd been ready. Her father's fight against cancer had been long and drawn out over nearly three grueling years now. In truth, she'd long since wanted it to be over if only to end his suffering, but now that he was gone, she already missed him, and there was no filling that vacancy. No more time left.

Her face burned from all the tears and crying, but she knew that wasn't about to end any time soon. It felt like all the grief she thought she'd worked through in advance over the past years had simply bottled up in wait for this moment, the sheer unrelenting force of it all flowing out of her in a torrent of anguish she hadn't felt since the death of her mother.

It wasn't right. None of it was right.

"What did I do to deserve this?" She muttered through broken sobs, clutching at the duvet and burying her face in it, trying to muffle the noise more for her own pride than out of fear of keeping anyone awake at nearly four in the morning.

She heard the creak of her door, apparently not having fully closed it earlier, and jolted up to a seated position, looking up at eye level before glancing down and immediately spotting the golden retriever from when they'd arrived.  He was an old dog, bordering on ancient for his breed, loads of white across his drooping face.

The effort of jumping onto the bed seemed to take a bit out of him, but the dog just let out a tired huff and slumped down, resting his head on her stomach.

Anya reached down and took hold of the tag on his collar. "Snoopy." She read aloud, a laugh breaking through her crying, if only for a moment. "What idiot named you Snoopy? Shit, probably Clarke. Who names a golden pup like you Snoopy?"

Snoopy just stared up at her all expectant and innocent, and damn if she wasn't a huge sucker for dogs. Besides, she could really use a friend right now, and dogs were pretty good at that.

"Okay, you goober, you can stay." She added, scratching at his ears and neck, letting the pup's presence comfort her, even if just a little bit.

As sweet as the dog was, it was hard not to keep getting pulled back to the crevasse her father's death carved into her heart. "What am I supposed to do now?"

There was nothing. Nothing in her future anymore. No father, no career, and with essentially all of her friends moving away, not even them, either.

With her favored post-secondary institute being smack dab in Azgeda's recently acquired territory after negotiations with Delphi, her choice to seek out fashion design was practically annihilated. The legal age in Azgeda was nineteen, meaning a year and a half until she could cross the border and attend her dream school without worrying about her aunt grabbing her and tossing her into conversion therapy. A year and a half of either sitting in Trigeda doing nothing, or attending Polis U's second tier program.

The same school Clarke would be attending for pre-med, of course. Same school her friends derided all her life. Polis was a beautiful city, the best city, but if you were to ever become anything in this life, you had to leave home.

Except, now she was stuck there alone, without a father, without a home, without a future career, and knowing her friends would probably laugh eternally at the thought of her having any sort of ceremony with Clarke.

"I don't know what to do..." She murmured, scooting Snoopy a little higher up, enough to cuddle a little better, unable to allow herself the briefest of smiles at his kisses before he rested his head on her shoulder.

What she hell was she supposed to do? If cuddling a stranger's dog was her best answer, she was completely screwed.

As fitting as the torrential downpour was, it really was making it difficult to keep her eyes open or breathe without choking on the rain falling down on her face. Maybe it was a little extreme, but she'd run out of places to stow away. It'd been hard enough on Saturday even with her parents hovering around Anya, but when she hadn't shown up for brunch on Sunday as per tradition, they went on the lookout for her.

On one hand, it was nice to see that some traditions were still valued.

On the other, she really didn't need to involve her parents, only for them to flit away after a minute or two to see to Anya. She'd escaped out her window and climbed up to the top of the roof, and she'd been there all day, but the light rain had progressed into a storm.

Still, better a storm out there than deal with the storm brewing in her home. At least the rain, as suffocating as it was, kept her focused on the feeling of being waterlogged with her skin aching from hours of stinging rainfall.

Better to keep all the surface-level stuff at the forefront.

"Clarke?!" Her father called out into the storm, her bedroom window swinging open. She found herself holding her breath for a moment before realizing that he definitely wouldn't hear her, and there wasn't really anywhere to hide if he cared to look up.

Which, of course, he did, peeking is head out enough to angle it around to catch sight of her. "Hi dad."

She watched him roll his eyes and disappear back inside for a brief moment before an umbrella sprung out. Her father climbed out onto the treacherously steep roof, taking careful familiar steps up until he could plop down beside her, holding the umbrella over as much of her as he could. He was always a softie like that, even when he was clearly frustrated. "We've been looking for you. Your mom's worried sick, and after all this rain, you might actually get sick." He sent her a soul-piercing look, those bright blue eyes boring into her for answers, asking the unspoken question of what made her feel like she had to come out there.

Which wasn't exactly easy to answer, not when thre last thing she wanted was to make her father feel guilty for doing the right thing. "Can't a girl appreciate a bit of H-Two-Oh?"

"Well, you always did like to dance in the rain." Her father mused openly, a warm smile spreading on his lips for a fleeting moment before worry creased his brow again. "I don't see you dancing. Hard to imagine you'd be in the mood, kiddo."

"Understatement of the century." Clarke couldn't quite catch her words in time; even if it was obvious she was hurting, it wouldn't do to make it a spectacle. She could handle it on her own. "Still, I'll be fine. I just needed a distraction for a little while."

"A book is a distraction. A movie. A walk in the park." Her father's gentle chiding had a pit forming in her stomach as dread washed over her heavier than the rainfall before. It wouldn't be so easy to convince him after all. "Clarke, I'm not here to pass judgment or make you do anything. God knows I was a mess when I married your mother, and I was almost thirty-two years old at the time, and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. You just turned eighteen a month ago...you don't have to pretend you're fine when you have no reason to be."

Leave it to Jake Griffin to cut to the chase. He never was much for beating around the bush. She got a little bit of that from him. "I'm not saying I'm fine right now, because I'm not. But I will be...and Raven and Wells will help with that. So I'll be fine, I promise...you and mom can focus on what matters."

Her dad's eyes narrowed a slight bit, and it wasn't from the sudden gust of wind blowing the rain even more into his face. "You know that you matter more than anything else in the world to me and your mother, right?"

Clarke shuffled closer and rested her head against his shoulder. There was no need for them both to drown in the rain when they could both be reasonably safe from the downpour. "I know. It's just..." She stalled, unsure what to say, not wanting to hurt him. However, he'd no doubt he his usual curious self and wheedle it out of her, it was just a matter of time. And like her mother always said, it was better to rip the band aid off than go for the slow agonizing peel.

"Like I told mom, we did the right thing helping her, but...it doesn't mean what happened was right. Not everything can be fixed, dad. Sometimes when you lose something, it's gone." She spoke, allowing herself a sigh knowing that as much as she loved him and drew comfort from him, he couldn't make this feel better. He couldn't make it right. "Words can't make it better. I need time to figure it out, and you can't hold my hand through this."

Where she expected some form of rebuttal or reassurance, she was met with a gentle laugh, her father taking hold of her hand with his free one. "I promise I'm not laughing at you, it's just that I didn't expect to hold your hand through you coming to grips with being married. Moral and emotional support, of course, but...to be perfectly honest, I'm surprised you haven't dug in your heels yet."

Clarke stared at him like he had two heads, since he may as well have, given the utter lack of sense he was making. "Dug my heels in where? Dad, I lost...I lost a lot."

"And since when do you just give up without a fight?"

She blinked hard enough for her eyelids to sting, because what? "What?"

"I'm not saying you have to, it's just...I've never seen you let anything go that means something to you. You've always worked to make it happen, come hell or high water." Her dad raised a decent point, but he was missing a pivotal bit of information that changed everything.

"You forget that Anya pretty much loathes me, and she really rubs me the wrong way most of the time, too." Clarke clarified, expecting one of his understanding nods, but he just cast her one of his infuriating knowing looks instead. As if she was supposed to know what was going on in his head. As if he knew what she was going through! "Dad, come on!"

He just laughed again, shaking his head. "Kiddo, the whole swim team hated you, but you won them over. When the school board made you ineligible for the team this year, the whole squad...Anya included...fought to have you reinstated."

It was a fair point, if off the mark again. "She only did that because she wanted to keep proving she could beat me in our practices and relays, and that she was the best. That doesn't count."

"Okay, but Melody and Danielle didn't have a stake in that. They read their letters at the board meeting. You changed their minds about you. You fought and won there." Once again, he missed the point. Melody and Danielle were sweethearts. They'd just been ignorant and led astray, but it hadn't taken long to bring them around.

Anya was another matter entirely. "You're missing the point, we're dealing with Anya, here! Anya...who hates me, dad!"

"I can't expect you to forgive her completely just yet, kiddo. I don't know what's gone on between you to cause that sort of rift, but I know that high school, that chapter of your life...it's ending. You're both entering the next chapter, one where Anya won't have her father to help navigate her through it. One where she'll be grieving for more time than she'll likely be able to bear on her own." Her father spoke, all calm and slow, eyes looking off at the trees at the edge of their property. "That girl's been crying in her room since Friday night. I raised you to be kind, to do the right thing, even if it's helping someone you don't see eye to eye with. For better or worse, she's your wife, Clarke."

"How the hell am I supposed to make our marriage mean anything, or be anything but a complete life-ruining catastrophe when she wants nothing to do with me?" It was an impossible situation; she understood what her father was saying, but how was she supposed to get through to Anya? How was she supposed to earn her way past Anya's walls and help her, even if she did give it a shot?

"No one said it'd be easy, but doing things the right way rarely is." Her dad spoke, fixing her with his suddenly intense gaze. "I won't pretend to know exactly what you're feeling, or what you think you've lost, Clarke. I won't pretend that this marriage is going to last your whole lives, or that it's anything near what you dreamed of. I know you're not happy, and you wanted better than this, and I want better for you, too. I'm just asking you to look me in the eyes and tell me you can't do it, that it's not worth fighting for. That it's not the right thing."

There had been one truth that she'd been working from since this whole debacle started, and that was that Anya more or less hated her, and nothing was about to change that, so the whole duration of their brief marriage would be miserable and a complete disaster. In all actuality, that was a damn realistic take on the matter, and her father's words didn't have Clarke changing her mind about that.

However, he was right, in a sense. Usually, she fought harder. She'd pushed back before the ceremony, of course, but not since. It wasn't as if she was just lying down and accepting the complete and utter loss, but she was in the midst of staring it down and coming to terms with it, since marriages required two people to work out their issues as a team, and Anya wasn't about to be up for that or probably even entertain the reality that they were married.

Which all presented a pretty shitty situation, and looking forward, Clarke had a sense that it'd lead to a tumultuous, horrible few months of bickering and pain and hostility, and maybe her father was right. Maybe it could be better than that if she tried hard enough.

As much as she didn't like how abrasive Anya could be around her, she wasn't so heartless as to make her home a hostile place for the newly orphaned girl. She wasn't about to show up all the time with guilt trips and frustrated rants and bring Anya's defenses up for no good reason.

Anya had done plenty of things to earn her frustration, but this wasn't one, and she certainly wouldn’t hate her for it. Anya's father dying was no one's fault, and her parents offering Anya a home wasn't Anya's fault. She could hate Anya for any future defiling of her hopes and dreams when it happens, but right now? Anya deserved what little peace and comfort she could manage, and Clarke wasn't going to get in the way of that. In fact, maybe it was her responsibility to ensure that for her spouse.

It didn't change that living with Anya was going to be a special kind of hell, but unlike Anya, she had a heart. She could be lenient, take the high road, try to make the best of things. It was the right thing to do.

"The right thing..." She mumbled to herself, the puzzle pieces clicking together in her head as she slumped over onto her back again, letting out a heavy sigh. "I already did the right thing."

Maybe she was just overtired and exhausted from hours of being pelted by steady rain, and needed to think it through better after a good rest, but a sense of clarity was forming in her mind, and it all made sense. She had a tendency to fight for a better future, to surround herself with people she loved and care for them, work with them to better their lives. Being a bit of an outcast, that didn't leave her with many, but she did have people she cared for, who she'd do anything for.

Combine that with her unwillingness to let go of her future hopes and dreams, and it really did all make sense that she cobbled together her vows at the ceremony.

She didn't have to love Anya to consider the girl one of her people. She could care for her platonically; as hard as that was to fathom in the moment, she'd managed to work with Bellamy to eventually become friends after him being one of her greatest bullies throughout her childhood. Not the best of friends, maybe, but decent friends. And like her father said, she'd won over the swim squad minus Anya, a group of girls who cared for and accepted her even if they all ran in different social circles.

So the potential, as dim as it was, did exist, and all she needed was a glimmer of hope. Hope that she could get through these next months with her soul intact. Hope that she could keep from rendering marriage and partnership a worthless, eternally tainted institution by upholding her vows.

Loyalty and fidelity were the easiest, she knew. She didn't exactly have people beating down her door to date her. She could speak the truth to Anya out of love, if not for Anya personally, then out of love for her people in general and for her love of the truth. She could care for Anya in her time of grieving and transition to adulthood, having a good feeling that the girl had many more changes in her life coming up fast, and she'd need help. She could encourage and value the potential growth and efforts Anya made towards constructing her own future. She could, in time, provide some semblance of solace for the girl in troubled times. She could, perhaps in time, offer Anya her habitually affectionate side. She could place herself in Anya's life and ensure Anya never felt alone in any of her struggles or her happier moments. She could honour their pact and honour marriage as a whole, keeping at least some of her future dreams and hopes alive while potentially turning an enemy into at least a neutral party.

Was it probable? Nope.

Possible? Just barely, but it was enough to let her grasp onto those formerly fading tendrils of hope and reel them back in. She was Clarke Griffin; if anyone could manage it, it was her.

She wouldn't let this tragedy, or Anya herself, take more away from her than was necessary. She'd fight like hell to keep a connection to her dreams, and she wasn't so much of a monster that she'd let Anya go through this tragedy alone; she hadn't lost her family, but they'd had a scare or two, and she knew that sort of fear, that dread, and the pain it brought her over those months. It wasn't the same, but it was something, and maybe they'd be able to form a connection of sorts out of it after everything, too. Still, her future happiness was the most important thing to focus on, she wasn't going to just let it go without a fight, and she'd always been a girl of her word.

The vows had been spoken. It was her duty to uphold them.

Clarke met her father's gaze. "I can do it."

Her father smiled and pulled her in for a hug. "Whatever you need, your mother and I will help however you need us to."

"I need the car."  She let out as an idea came to mind, one that wouldn't fix anything, but could be a good start. "Well, I need a shower, and change of clothes, and to dry off, but I need the car."

They both moved to sit up, her dad holding the umbrella over her head as they made their way down towards the window again. "I'll leave my credit card on the kitchen counter, you do what you need to do."

Once she was safe indoors and out of the rain, she embraced her dad, pulling him in for a tight hug. Hope could be a dangerous, painful thing, but it could also be wonderful, and Clarke needed to be an optimist. She had to believe she could salvage something out of all of this absurdity. "Thanks, dad."

"Always, kiddo."

She made quick work of grabbing a change of clothes, knowing she didn't have a whole lot of time to get what she needed done on a Sunday afternoon. Still, her father promised her whatever she needed. A day off on Monday could make sure everything would start off smoothly with a little luck and willpower.

And maybe, just maybe, Anya wouldn't make an attempt on her life tomorrow for her efforts.

Everything ached. The sun had risen already, bringing with it the stinging heat of summer that demanded more sweat from her when she'd already cried out every ounce of moisture in her sore, exhausted body. It'd been a long time since her father was part of her breakfast routine, but she'd always stop by afterward, and just knowing she couldn't do that had her feeling emptier than anything, a vast chasm no meal could hope to fill, not that she had the energy to go out and make one.

Not that she'd admit that to anyone, of course. Not out of pride, even if that was entirely justified, but out of just not wanting to get the Griffins hovering even more than they already were. At least Clarke had spared her from her presence so far, but Abby and Jake were insistent, and too kind to be angry at, which put her in a predicament

As much as they were relative strangers to her, they were kind people, and she couldn't be cruel to their kindness. It wasn't something she could find it in herself to do.

She could maintain a good distance from them and keep them in the dark as much as possible, though.

After all, no sense in dragging anyone into her suffering. She'd been given the week off by her school, so she had plenty of alone time ahead of her. She'd survive it, even if she wasn't sure how she'd emerge on the other side just yet.

The sound of the door's quiet creak met her ears, forcing her to expel more energy than she'd liked to stifle her dried out, tired sobs and pull the covers over her face, feigning sleep. She wasn't particularly successful in her efforts, but the intruder didn't seem to notice, or care.

The end of the bed dipped slightly, something hard being rested right at the tips of her feet. The wagging of Snoopy's tail against her thigh told her it was a Griffin, but that was dead obvious already.

"Are you hungry?" The sound of Clarke's voice would have had her bolting up to her feet and dragging the other girl out of the room if she had the energy, but it was already too much of an ask to quiet her own emotions to a barely reasonable level. She didn't have anything else in the tank. Anya shook her head, shame rising to her cheeks as she let a sniffle slip out. "You need to eat, even if it's just a little bit of something."

The hard object at the end of the bed was thankfully whisked away, Anya vaguely keeping tabs of the movement around her room, thinking Clarke made her way to the dresser briefly before returning and pressing a knee onto the side of the bed this time, right in front of her. "Please just eat a little fruit. I'll leave you alone if you just please eat something." Griffin's voice was a little softer, smoother, like velvet. It would have been more than a little alluring coming from anyone but Clarke Griffin.

Anya waited for Clarke to leave, but the infuriatingly stubborn girl remained as seconds turned into minutes, and the longer it went, the more her grief built up inside her, bubbling and burning in her chest.

She wouldn't let Clarke see that. She wouldn't let Clarke win. Not here, not now. She'd sacrifice a battle to win the war.

In as swift a motion as she could manage, she tossed the covers away from her head and shoulders enough to grab the bowl, refusing to make eye contact as she popped a peach chunk into her mouth.

"Thank you, Anya." Clarke murmured, using that same frustrating tone of voice. "If you come out today, I'll see you then. Otherwise, I'll see you tonight. Take good care of her Snoopy."

With that, Clarke thankfully shifted off the bed, her slow deliberate steps fading off towards the door.

"Good morning, Anya."

She waited for the door to close before struggling to a seated position, the tiny bit of peach reminding her body enough of its hunger and need for liquids to give her that jolt of energy to finish eating. Anya quickly mowed down the bowl of fruit and scanned the room with bleary, bloodshot eyes, not needing to look hard to spot the rest of the breakfast tray.

Not because it was completely visible, but because there was a big stuffed gryphon plopped beside it atop the dresser.

It took a minute or two to get to her feet, and another to find her balance before staggering over to the furniture, shaking her head at the silly plushie. And yet, as she picked it up, it was clear the thing wasn't new. It'd definitely been loved in the past, even if it wasn't haggard, either.

More than anything, its presence confused her, so she left it there and brought the tray back with her, a little happy to see there was something for Snoopy as well. Not wanting her bed to become a massive mess, she placed his bowls on the ground at the side of the bed.

"There you go. Eat up, bud." Anya whispered, fighting every instinct not to just flop back onto the bed from exhaustion, forcing herself to eat a little of the eggs, toast and bacon before guzzling down the juice and settling back in to face her future again.

As if Clarke could snag some sort of moral victory in taking the high road. When she recovered enough energy, she'd lock the door, not wanting to give the girl another chance at thinking she was better, that Clarke would come out of this on top. For making her father's death into yet another of her petty squabbles or competitions.

"I know I can't offer you food, but you'd still take my side, right, Snoopy?" She asked idly as she set the tray on the nightstand, pulling the covers back over herself once the dog rejoined her on the bed. The damn gryphon plushie look so damned sanctimonious from its perch, and she really just needed someone to share her grief with that wasn't going to use it against her. She couldn't let her friends see her like this, especially living with the Griffins, knowing that'd probably be the end of their support, and she really needed it right now more than ever.

She just had to survive this.  She'd spent the last few years living a day at a time, what were a few weeks more?

#Faithfully #clanya fanfiction #forced marriage au #thedeadflag #writewritewrite #long post