#idk when itll be done but

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[mllenugget]

Hey remember when Baghera adopted Dapper like 8 months ago or did I make that up ? ────────────────────────────────────────── Support all the admins that spoke out (& do your daily click) ──────────────────────────────────────────

#idk why on earth i gave baghera knuckles- when i say i turn my brain off when I draw i mean it #i only noticed it after i was done with the shading and it jumpscared me #got me stuttering in confusion i have never drawn anthro arms/wings this way these dont even look like feathers wtf me ?? #..... sooo looks like ive got a new wa-cats type of fandom on my hands #as in i am still very emotionally attached to the memories i have from this no matter what i do itll keep coming back #but i havent read the books in several years nor do i plan to anymore and looking back i am so angry and disgusted #but also im still blown away by the creativity and the passion the fandom builds on its own #i wanted to go ahead and finish any art that ive been working on for the past almost year and decided this one would be the most fitting #i learnt last week that only the first 20 tags on an original post will show up in tumblr searches #and I think im going to take advantage of that #because i dont want to hype the server anymore and i have decided i will no longer be adding my watermark on top of my work #and i was going to refrain from tagging it because i dont want my related posts to show up #before remembering that some of my mutuals who ive been chatting to for years now #have these fandoms blacklisted #so im going to test it and hope it works #im still going to tag the characters i love though because i wanna show support to the actors and i wish them nothing but the best #baghera fanart #pomme fanart #dapper fanart #dappleduo #my art #mcyt #qsmp #fandom neg #tag this however you want #yap yap yap yap tlddr

[lucksea]

decided i didnt like this direction for the amv so im scrapping these panels, but ill post them here since they took me a while

#null havoc damage #cult of the lamb #if anyone is curious abt it i may drop the song before i post the video since idk when itll be done #planes of projection au

[sojutrait]

okay i caved im making the daycare

#ts4 #s #wip #im thinking??? just for toddlers but maybe ill throw some kid stuff if i have room #also gonna chuck it up for dl for a follower gift when im done hehehe #rn thers no cc but idk if i can keep that up lmao so itll be minimal cc prob

[ali-borsch]

oh btw thanks for 2k followers i dont have anything to celebrate it lol

#okay im actually working on a big animation thingie #idk when itll be done but probably is like a few days #its stupid but ehhhh im too far into it to just scrap it lmao

[sekai-kritical]

Want a sneak peak of Chapter one of DR:DS (Danganronpa: Despair SEKAI)? :D (Under the cut)

[No one’s POV]

The Success SEKAI building was often praised amongst both Kamiyama and Miyamasuzaka students. Obviously, it caught the ears of those outside the school. The number of times it was searched up skyrocketed each day. As stated before, only 20 students were invited. One would be invited as “the ultimate lucky”, while everyone else who had true talent would be invited. Whether they displayed it or not. Success SEKAI looked like your ordinary school—if it wasn’t on a budget. So, you could imagine the excitement of the invitees when they realized they had an opportunity to become someone bigger, better. Or, at least that was what it said.

#pjsk #prsk #project sekai #Danganronpa: Despair SEKAI #idk when itll get done but hereee :]

[todayisafridaynight]

sister saw me wearing the puffer that i use for my daigo cosplay since im cold all the time and sweaters arent enough and she was just like 'i really like it :) you look so. 👊💥' and after going What she was like 'you look real cool :) is what i meant :)' like thank you sister of mine youre too silly for this life

#snap chats #like she punched the air and made a punch sound effect fwrjflkjle #i mean she is not. WRONG with miming that about this jacket so 💀💀💀💀 #also funny im wearing my own cross necklace and a black shirt and pants. lmao #also yeah i have two puffers- one's meant for the rain and REALLY cold weather and the second one's just. Casual/Daigo #'why are you like this' cause the other puffer's way too buiky fr casual wear and daigo and the interior isn't black like his is #this one's more slim and has a black interior. which is so funny cause when i was looking for a puffer for daigo years ago #it was impossible finding such a thing specifically but i got bored and decided to look again recently and i found it on the first page #for like. three cents basically too fejLRKjELj so thats cool. cant wait to show it off at animenyc #no im actually so excited bout animenyc ... hopefully i can actually. attend a meetup unlike last time 💀 #i also didnt get to go last year so itll be fun going to a con again .. #im just stoked in general bout the small-but-meaningful-edits-to-me ive done to the whole look #s'gonna be fun .. AND im gonna try tweaking my mine one too since i got compelled to do That with all the mine talk lately #idk when id show that one off if ever. UNLUCKY that i hate taking pics of myself no one ever gets to see my cosplays unless its video form #ok im done rambling i have some stuff to do before i take an exam bye

[novembermorgon]

combining suggestions from twt if u wanna send some in for when i wake up 🫶

#txt #idk when ill get to it but itll get done one day

[end-orfino]

ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

#i get suddenly hit with a tsunami of inspiration and an urgency to Make Something #but the urgency isn't about the process of making it's about I Have Stories To Present Too. I have to See Them Realized. #and that hit of urgency is obviously far too short lived to make anything. esp since it comes in a set with a feeling of 'wow this- #-thing was so great' that transforms into intensified perfectionism of No No What Im Doing Here Isnt Good. What Is This. Disgrace- #-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller #which turns into artblock. so like low chances that ill even get a singular good drawing made during this #and the multiple comic or script or whatever ideas that appear in my head during this are out of the question entirely #oh and all of this appears next to the normal feelings caused by a good story like attachment to the characters and having to process it- #-for a while and if its very good then even sometimes rarely i get the need to make fanart #so all of this combined just leads to me not being able to do anything for a while and feeling awful about it. #fun./sar #i wish i was a normal artist people here are so resilient and do stuff even though they dont want to or they DO want to #because idk they enjoy being pissed bcs of a thing not turning out right and they dont mind how tedious it can get- #-and they enjoy sacrificing hours&days&months of their lives without a guarantee that anyone will appreciate it accordingly and itll pay of #its probably the resilience though #im weak like a dried twig both mentally and physically #this sounds like i never enjoyed drawing&writing ever. and to clarify thats far from true. i frequently enjoy it #just never frequently enough and consistently enough to actually make something more 'worthwhile' or linear #it's like a wind that comes & goes that i have no control over. #i try to keep telling myself that in the past i struggled to make anything 'bigger'....& know i even made animatic shitposts #this sounds so stupid god. an animatic shitpost being an achievement. #its not an art skill achievement its a fighting tooth and nail with my own self to actually finish it because its a struggle almost every- #-time achievement #what im saying is im trying to tell myself that i already improved. im doing more than i could have done in the past. #even if the process is so slow and i dont know when ill advance again #if ill advance again. i just gotta believe i guess? thank u parappa

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes #and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on #ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done #and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well #im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them #and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right #its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried #i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway #im just. this is gonna b a difficult week #and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend #nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia? #how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru #but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep #ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway #and meet with my advisor like 🤪 yo guess what i made zero progress this week #sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems #but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed #unrelated

[so-very-small]

camp nano has me feeling positively inhuman. i did not know i was capable of this. i feel like a god rn

#sorry im posting abt this so much when its not technically gt related skfjdjwbfifhsjf #sometimes posting on my main is like yellin into the void #but anways YEAH. FUCKIN WILD #THE MOST IVE DONE IN A MONTH WAS 125k BUT that was a rewrite so idk if it counts. only 75k words in it were new #SO. if i finish this itll be the longest first draft ive written in a single month #EXCITING!!!!!

[onlylowercase]

comic preview

#still dealing with a lot of pain so idk when itll be done #but yeh

[mejomonster]

I wrote 6000 words today!

#rant #tbf #idk if its gonna bite me in the ass or not but like #oh well. my goal is a first draft done by end of year #even if it sucks or its good or whatever i just want a draft completed !!! #i have been hung up on 2nd guessing my own writing for a month ;- #so i switched stories to one with a pov character narrator whos a history nerd of the world (and blackmails/spies on others a lot) #so like. hes a guy who knows a lot of info and happily rants anyway about exposition stuff to other characters #(like. hes literally an ambassador and explains perceived social norms differences between faeverse countries and facilitates cooperating) #so like. i figure at least i wont beat myself up for mentioning exposition #cause i guarantee however much i write. this character would be dumping 10 more page than me per minute. if he could sjdjdj #so ill likely have enough content included in the draft when im done. and itll be easier to cut some stiff #rather than needing to add missing stuff later

[toastsnaffler]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests... #theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!) #but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍 #anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^) #.vent #.diaries

[ofcowardiceandkings]

me looking at all of the fabrics i have to pattern for the art backlog

#my GOD !!!! #itll be great when im done but fuck me sideways #at least i have a huge pool of reference material for what i CAN do i guess #most of these are Ordon revamp adjacent so yknow #theres OG ordon ... im taking reference from Skyloft a little as well ..... plus theres whats already in BotW for cohesive structure #but also ive been looking at Okinawan textiles ??? cool stuff ... any kind of swirly patterns #IDK MAN its a mess !!! #rory's ramblings

[valodia]

Talking about vidya games...

#my art #system tag #i just felt like drawing this conversation we had. #im having a weird day so im just doing whatever and posting this although i doubt anybody cares lol. #i hope the res is ok posting this. it crapped out while drafting so idk what itll do. #pannelled this too weirdly to break down into several different images. #i forgot to rate by score. fuck my baka life. ok so. #music rlly can enhance a vidya game. that being said i think its ok i didnt include it into the rating even though if i had thought about i #i wouldve. its because when i play some games i turn off the music which is the case in kenshi for example. #but in outer wilds the score is groundbreaking unparalleled never been done before etc so. #also some music have turned games into my fave. #hey i forgot to compare dark chronicle also to this. its my other fave game. #ok triad of fave games kenshi dark chronicle outer wilds. #bye.