#idk this sort of debate rubs me the wrong way

[holysaintscathedral]

When I see discourse over how dad bods are clearly superior to any other body type in men because "UwU that's what women prefer" instead of affirming that men don't have to be a certain body type to be a man or "attractive."

#none of you can be normal about men's bodies for five minutes #no one gives a fuck that you prefer dad bods #shut up and live your life #idk this sort of debate rubs me the wrong way #especially since the dad bod crowd is so dedicated to just shitting on anything that doesn't fit their preference #i have my preferences too but god damn just shut up already and leave men be #if this stuff was done to women people would be upset and rightfully so! #idk it irks me a lot #men

[narwhalandchill]

spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol

like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?

like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao

like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀

like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk

like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable

like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao

like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀

Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you

AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .

(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)

like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.

but then theres teucer.

And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All

Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????

yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....

like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.

like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up

hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭

A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap

#tonia will call him a perfect brother and ppl take it at face value is so. #dude NOBODY in that fuckimg family is in the place to say jack shit abt whats healthy familial dynamics n whats not #now like. do i know that theyll most likely never Truly let ajax experience teucers righteous rage at the betrayal #and instead brush it off where hes like youre still my brother i love u #Yes. unfortunately. but god he doesnt fucking deserve any of that like he SHOULD lose teucer forever #teucer should go full scorched earth no contact the entire family like its r/relationship_advice addressing mild drama #and theyd all deserve it. even as i understand Why they did this.and sympathize with it . #this is why he and the narwhal deserve each other btw hes just kimda fucking terrible sometimes #yes i had to make this about them too #genshin #rambles #childeposting

[mage-ical-character-person]

idk about you but it kinda rubs me the wrong way how Bing and Bo just let Bang get sucked into the wrong tube and brush it off like it's nothing and go off to get the answer in assa

Shouldn't they go after him first and check to see if he's okay at least? To me it comes across as out of character, especially for someone like Bo.

There had been many times where the team (christmas special being a primary example of this when 341-B spent hours trying to look for Bo) no matter what they would mostly put their friend's first over getting the answer

That whole episode was weird and you’re right that it’s out of character for Bo to not be more concerned.

But the Storybots generally have a weird, inconsistent sense of danger, and the Christmas Special was more concerned with Bo’s emotional wellbeing. Storybots are pretty much indestructible, physically.

For Bo, she was under quite a bit of pressure sort of falling into a leadership role in Beep’s absence and everything generally going wrong. It might be sort of Bo trying to emulate Beep, to some extent. Going “What would Beep do?” And ending up with the answer of “She’d focus on the question”

I think there’s also a degree of trust that Bang can handle himself for a little bit. It’s up for debate whether or not that trust is warranted, but Answer Time shows that every member of 314B sees every other member as like. Capable even independently.

#storybots #storybots bo #thanks for the excuse to talk about them

[dilatorywriting]

re: "idia rubbing you the wrong way" THANK YOU! FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE SAID IT! i really really loved his design but he's such a...i don't wanna use a rude word 😡😡😡😡. he's not a fun character and the more i see of him the less i like him. the glorious masquerade fan translation pretty much solidified my dislike for the dude.

also! i know you didnt ask i just wanted to add in some possible ideas for a heroes v villains for savannaclaw? we have characters like zazu (the bird advisor) that you could possibly find a way to squeeze in? he seemed like a character that was kinda (or at least meant to be) clever in a way that could go head to head against leona? maybe there'd be some kinda competition and he was a team manager or strategist that meets the reader behind the scenes at a tournament maybe as a favor to scout the competition for leona?

or maybe he works at a museum/botanical garden that the nrc class visits on a field trip. that while leona slips away to go nap or something and MC goes to look for him runs into zazu?

idk just ideas! thanks so much for all your wonderful writing tho, it's been a pleasure reading your work!

I can appreciate why people love Idia, but dude just isn't for me. And it’s not even the awful-nerd-speak English translations (though that doesn’t help). He’s just mean a lot of the time. Don’t get me wrong, all the Twst Boys are AwfulTM. But his is just… a different brand. Maybe as a fellow piece of nerd trash, it’s more recognizable as the kind of insufferable “intellectual loner” type people I’ve met in real life and therefore rage about. Maybe it’s that Hades is one of my favorite Disney villains and Idia just doesn’t have the presence or charisma that I was hoping to see from that. Idk. (Though I do really think his relationship with Ortho is adorable. That is the one (1) redeeming thing). I have tried to grow to like him. So, so, hard. His design is awesome. I am a sucker for smart, insomniac, weirdo characters. But he just does not click with my brain. It doesn’t help that every time I see fandom stuff for him, I feel he’s grossly mischaracterized as an “uwu soft boi.”

Anyways! Rant over lol

But yes! I was debating on a few different routes to take. I think it may turn into less of a romantic interest vs romantic interest sort of situation, and more just Leona vs the family that's driving him absolutely fucking wild and stealing all your time away because he's too tsundere and would absolutely just tell you to buzz off whenever they try and steal you away, even though it's driving him batshit lol

#Asks #Heroes vs Villains

[skaldish]

I'm not the original anon, but the infographic does seem quite unreliable. For instance, if in an explanation of how Dutch conversation works you're using "Dutch" as a descriptor of their debate, you've already lost much credibility in my eyes (since that adds no information and clarifies nothing without relying on stereotypes existing in the mind of the reader). Moreover, there is no clear indication of how the diagrams work, they are not consistent (why do some have string or circle parts while others on have rectangles?) and the shapes can lead to assumptions in the reader that don't seem to have an actual basis (perhaps there is a guide to them that I missed, or it is present in the original book, but if there is I haven't found it and the diagrams are quite unintuitive nonetheless). Also the way not all countries seem to be held to a consistent standard/have the same or similar conversation benchmarks accounted for and compared on their different levels just rubs me the wrong way.

Idk, I obviously don't have any sort of definitive proof that the information on the infographic is wrong or anything, I just think it's vague and misleading.

So here's the piece that's probably throwing you: The diagrams are different from graphs. Graphs need standardization because it's how you maintain the integrity of the quantitative data you're trying to express.

But this is qualitative data, because we're dealing with linguistics and language-interpretation. So instead of looking at the diagrams like you would a graph, look at them like you would look at abstract art.

The diagrams are using shapes to express the somatic experience of a conversation-style the same way a dancer uses movement to express the somatic experience of specific emotions. To put it another way, the diagrams are meant simulate what these conversation-styles feel like when you have them.

The point of doing this was to draw attention to the fact there are differences. This lends credibility to the argument the original article was making: That it's important to know there's a difference in how different cultures engage in business, because not only would this help prevent misunderstanding in an emerging global society, it also helps you avoid misinterpreting someone's attitude towards you or the business you're trying to conduct.

(For further clarity, the titles refer to the people associated with the culture/language/country in question, so "Dutch" refers to the Dutch people living in the Netherlands who speak Dutch, "Spanish" refers to the Spanish people living in Spain who speak Spanish, etc.)

I think what the OP was mad about was the tongue-in-cheek stereotyping used to characterize the conversations. They interpreted it as the author being bigoted and insulting.

But just because something can be interpreted that way doesn't mean it's correct. And they would have recognized that had they looked at the international reaction to the post in the notes.

Like...I go through my notifications, y'all, no matter how insane they get. If people from those countries/cultures were tagging the diagrams as insulting, I would have noticed and would have removed it.

However, I left it because the reactions have been positive. The international response is basically "LOL that's accurate," which had been my own reaction to the diagrams when comparing them to my own family's cultural backgrounds and conversation-styles.

I don't know much about the linguist who made these diagrams, but given the nature of his work, I think he probably knew what kind of humor would land with his global audience, at least at the time it was written.

#answered #linguistics

[beetlesandstarss]

Chapter 4: Robin to the Rescue

To Be Loved For No Reason At All (Series)

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10

Summary: “Shit, fuck, I don’t know, I am so confused, Robin.”

Robin bites the inside of her cheek. “Like, gay confused or just… confused?”

Notes: okay so i truly meant to include all the kids when i wrote this, but for some reason el and will slipped between the cracks?? i think maybe the duffer brothers absolute indifference to wills storyline this season rubbed off on me :/ i love him and apologise for this oversight. as for el, idk she just isn’t here?

playlist for this chapter: Creature - It Looks Sad. Love It If We Made It - The 1975 My Song - Labi Siffre (side note i listened to this so much during fall, 10/10, i recommend) Boys Don't Cry - The Cure

-

“This is so not happening right now.” 

“Oh my God, is Steve’s hand in Munson’s hair? Is he drooling?” 

“Shh!” 

“What? They’re asleep, they can’t hear me, Max.” 

“Why are there four kids in the staff room?” 

Steve groggily blinks his eyes open. Thinks, mmh, warm. Nice arms. Nice face. Hair. Eddie?

Fuck.  

Headfirst, he dives off the couch, rolling (falling) into a crouch. He pretends he doesn’t bang his arm on the table on his graceful way down. 

Staring at him, in varying stages of disbelief, is Max, Lucas, Dustin, and Mike. Behind them, jaw slack and wide-eyed, stands Robin. Next to Steve on the couch, Eddie’s now sitting, looking for all the world like a cow tried to groom him in his sleep. He drags a hand down his face. Finger-guns the kids, clicking his tongue. Says, “Morning, amigos.” 

“Hi, Eddie,” says Mike, looking a little starstruck. 

“Whatthefuckishappening,” Steve gets out. He’s so disoriented. 

Eddie frowns down at him. “Why are you on the floor?” 

Steve frowns back. “Why is your face?” 

“Guys, get out,” Robin says, ushering the kids to leave. 

Dustin looks appalled. “What? We’re here on important business, Buckley. We need to talk to Steve.” He looks at Steve like he’d back him up. 

Steve rubs the elbow he totally didn’t bang on the table. “Uuh…” 

Robin rolls her eyes. “Is the world ending?” 

Lucas’ eyebrows do a complicated thing. “Well, no, but -” 

“Anyone been kidnapped?” She narrows her eyes. “Where’s Will?” 

Mike rolls his eyes. “He’s at the dentist, and no -” 

“Then out, children. Go, go, go.” 

“But -” 

“Go!” 

Robin closes the door behind them, muting their complaints. Rests her hands on the door. Takes a deep breath. Slowly, she turns to Steve, flitting her eyes between him and Eddie. “Hi, guys. Have a fun night? At work? Where we are not allowed to sleep?” 

Steve clears his throat. He’s still crouching on the floor, like some sort of floor ninja. 

“So, like,” his voice cracks. “There was a burglar? And Eddie was like. Driving by and he saw me through the window, so he came in and like, not that I needed any help, but -” 

“Cut the shit, Steve.” Robin does not look impressed. 

“Aw, c’mon, it was just getting good.” 

“Yeah so," remarks Eddie. "I think in that scenario I’d be the burglar actually, so." There’s a weird note to his voice now, which Steve balks at. He tries to catch his eye, but Eddie is adamantly looking away. “I’m just gonna - go. Thanks for the uh, strawberries.” 

He gets up. Grabs his bag of Lunchables and warm beer. Looks like he’s debating something. The anticipation sets Steve on edge. Then Eddie looks like he's made up his mind, clenching his jaw. He makes for the door. Robin moves out of his way. He slams the door behind him. 

Steve and Robin stare at each other. It’s pretty intense. Steve feels a bubble of hysteria make its way up his throat. 

“I get the feeling I did something like, wrong, here? But. What?” 

Robin looks at Steve like he’s being extra stupid today. He can practically hear what she’s thinking. My idiot best friend is an idiot. 

Choking on a giddy laugh, she says, “Dude. Okay, wait. Hold on. Were you guys like, cuddling just now?” 

“No?” 

“Yes, you were. I saw you.” 

“Then why did you ask? ” 

“Because!” Robin stops. “Because… cuddling is… nice?” 

“Shut up, dude.” 

Robin flails her arms. “I’m sorry! I don’t know what to say!” 

“Is it a big deal?” snipes Steve. 

“I don’t know, is it?” 

Robin’s gaze on Steve is fierce.  

“It’s not like we -” Steve cuts himself off, because wow, that’s not even close to what he wants to say right now. His throat constricts. 

“Okay,” Robin says slowly. “Just…" She shakes her head. "What happened?” 

“I don’t know!” exclaims Steve, and to his horror, he realizes he’s close to tears. “Shit, fuck, I don’t know, I am so confused, Robin.” 

He is confused. He hates that Eddie high-tailed it out of here, and he hates that the kids saw them, and he hates it even more that he hates it - he doesn’t want to feel ashamed of something that feels realer than most things in Hawkins. Doesn’t want the shame to taint the goodness, the profundity of last night. 

Robin bites the inside of her cheek. “Like, gay confused or just… confused?” 

“Oh my God,” moans Steve, pulling a hand through his hair. “I can’t - I don’t - I - fuck.” He stands on shaky legs. “I screwed up, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I ate strawberries out of Eddie’s hand and thought about kissing him in a gay way and then I fell asleep in his loving arms and I liked it!” 

Robin stares. 

She opens her mouth, sucking in a breath. “I hate to ask this, but are you… being sarcastic, or…?”

“No!” he shouts, throwing his hands in the air. “No. God, I am being so real right now, Robin.” 

“Wow, okay. Okay, cool. Cool, cool, cool. This is fine. Just chill out, okay? You’re fine. I’m fine. Maybe I shouldn’t be having this freakout for you?”

“Yeah. No, thanks. It’s mine actually, stop hogging it,” says Steve, but there’s no denying he’s blubbering at this point, and he just sounds pathetic. He wipes at his eyes. 

“Jesus.” Robin sits down on the couch, dragging Steve with her so they’re sitting facing each other. She grabs Steve’s face, holding it between her two hands. Swipes underneath his eyes with her thumbs. Steve stares at her with squished cheeks, and he’s never been so grateful for her. 

“Steve, I’m gonna ask you this as delicately as I can, which isn’t exactly my forte, so please don’t be mad at me.” 

Steve nods. 

“Have you ever - ever thought you might like boys too?”

Steve reels back. “What? No. I - I don’t. Haven’t.” 

Robin’s staring expectantly at him, like she’s just waiting for something to click. 

Steve pulls a hand through his hair, frustrated and a little annoyed. “I think I would’ve noticed if I’d been walkin’ around thinking, oh golly, I sure wish a guy would stuff me full of strawberries right now. That came out wrong.” 

“Sure it did,” says Robin. “And I said don’t be mad. You sound mad.” 

“I’m not mad!” says Steve. “Who says I’m mad? Not me.”

Robin takes a deep breath. Flits her eyes skywards and then back again. “Shit, Steve. Just, okay. Listen. I know you’re cool. Like. We talk about boobs together. That’s cool. I appreciate that we can do that. I like that you don’t care, because that’s rare, and - and it means a lot to me. You’re my best friend.”

Steve blinks at her. “You’re my best friend too.” 

Robin smiles quickly, before bracing herself. “Good. Thanks. So, it’s - it’s nice that you’re cool with me. But. I know things are, different with guys, right?” Softly, she continues, “Girls liking girls, it’s - some people find it easier to swallow. But… guys liking guys? Whole other kettle of fish.” 

“That’s not a saying,” says Steve, because he’s an idiot, and also because his hands are shaking.  

“I - Jesus, Steve. Can you take this seriously? This is kind of important. Also, uh, yes it is.” 

“I am taking this seriously,” Steve says. “And no, it’s not.” 

“I know for a fact - okay. You know what? I don’t care. Neither do you. You’re a slippery weasel and you should shut your pie-hole.” 

Steve flounders, but Robin holds her hand up, and so Steve shuts his pie-hole. 

“Steve,” she says, voice low. “I am asking you this as your best friend and trusted confidant: are you okay with boys liking boys the way I like girls?” 

Steve looks down. Pretends his heart isn’t racing. “I don’t know. Sure,” he says. He picks at the bottom of his shoe. Robin stays quiet. 

“I mean, yeah?” he continues, nervous in the face of Robin’s scrutiny. “I guess I haven’t really thought about it?” 

But he is now. He thinks about sleepovers with Tommy H in middle school. Sharing beds, counting his freckles, sharing clothes. Thinks about hating Carol for doing something stupid like holding Tommy's hand in the corridor. Being confused at the misplaced, burning resentment. Remembers James, a boy whose hair he used to pull in class. Thinks about how much he felt back then, how he was expected not to. How he learned to throw punches instead. 

His eyes burn. 

“Steve?” prompts Robin quietly, voice kind. 

He thinks about his mom, what she would say. If she’d say anything at all, or just expect him to marry a girl anyway, start a family, a beautiful nuclear fucking bomb. His dad would want the same, he thinks, if he didn’t disown him. Steve doesn’t think he’d want a tarnish as big as him on record. He knows what his dad thinks already: Steve’s an unmotivated, waste of space kind of son, as opposed to the kind who’d take the job he’s been offered at his office, make the most out of his family name. The kind of son who’d pretend he had parents who stuck his drawings to the fridge. The kind of son who didn’t need his mom and dad. 

He knows too well the things his dad whispers under his breath when reading the newspaper, knows what articles he reads, the programs he watches. Knows, because he jokes about how it’s, “God’s will, wiping out the trash in this fine country with a disease.” Knows exactly what he’s talking about. Always felt sick to his stomach when he’d say or joke about it, never knew why. 

Voice very small, Steve says, “I think I kinda have to be okay with it. If… if I am… that way.” 

“Oh, Steve.” Robin pulls him into a hug. She doesn’t do hugs, but Steve is so thankful for her that he can’t bring himself to pull away. 

He clings to her like the world will spin on without him if he doesn’t. She allows him to hug her like she’s his anchor, his lifeline. She is. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Robin whispers intensely, hugging him closer when he starts to shake. He hides his face in the crook of her neck, embarrassed over the tears welling over, spilling out of him like they’ve been waiting to do so for years. He tries to be quiet, choking on the lump in his throat, but with every small hiccup that escapes him, Robin hugs him tighter, rubbing a hand over his back, whispering, “It’s okay. You’re okay, Steve.” 

He feels like he’s going to go up in flames. 

When he can breathe again, Steve pulls back. Knows his eyes are puffy and red and he probably looks so ugly right now, but Robin’s looking at him like she gets it, and Steve knows that she does. He loves her so much. 

Smiling lopsidedly, Robin says, “Sorry for like, interrogating that out of you.” 

“No, you’re not.” 

“No, I’m not,” agrees Robin. “But thanks for - for telling me anyway, Steve. For letting me in.” 

He uses his shirt to wipe his face. He sounds congested as he says, “Yeah, yeah.” 

“How’s it feel?”

He creases his eyebrows. “What, having an identity crisis at twenty?”

“Having squishy feelings for Eddie Munson?”

“Robin!” 

“What?” she grins toothily. 

Steve looks at her. His best friend. The girl with the weird humor, the questionable taste in movies. The girl who dived headfirst into the Upside Down with him. The girl who will just tease him to death about Eddie, because with her, it’s always going to be okay. With her, he’s safe. 

Slowly, dopily, he starts to smile. He says, “One crisis at a time, Ray Stanz.” 

Robin sticks out her bottom lip. “Boo.” 

“Boo is right, Robin. Boo is right.” 

-

Notes: okay so i actually asked my dad what ghostbusters character would be most likely to want to problem solve and he said ray stanz so that’s who that’s in reference to. idk if it was vague or not?? i HAVE actually watched ghostbusters, but it was so long ago i honestly just remember the costumes

hope you liked this chapter!!! ch 5 will be up tomorrow i hope :)

#steve x eddie #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #eddie x steve #steve #eddie munson #eddie #eddie munson fanfic #eddie the freak munson

[muertocountyprincess]

Been in my head a lot lately.

I honestly don’t really know what’s going on. So many memories (mostly the bad and traumatic ones), have been reaching from the depths of my mind and coming back to haunt me.

And I hate it. So much.

I feel like my depression and mental health in general has been like a teeter-totter, constantly back and forth, battling between the good and the bad this entire year so far.

A lot of stress with personal affairs, figuring out life & career related stuff, internet drama, it’s all just too much.

I feel too much.

I’ve enjoyed being this sort of small “Internet personality” and connecting with others in the space, but god do I hate being made to feel like everything I post is up for some sort of debate, simply just for becoming relatively popular on tcm twt. Just let me yap in peace!

And I hate that every little thing affects me. For so long, probably at least the past decade or more, I’ve tried to wear this hard shell as armor from the outside world, trying to not let words of strangers affect me. But for some reason, I feel like I’m in middle school again, speechless from the relentless bullies, too fearful to use my voice.

For a long while, I’ve become the type to stand up for myself and what I believe in, but lately the ignorance of keyboard warriors has made me want to stay silent - the polar opposite of who I really am. If I say anything, I get attacked. And I’m tired of it. If I don’t speak on it, it just continues to bother me.

Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

And I don’t want to keep going on about things, it’s just hard when something’s like an itchy tag on a shirt that keeps rubbing the wrong way - hard to ignore and act like everything’s okay when it isn’t.

Idk, just feeling a lot of mixed feelings and trying to process and work through them.

f★

#vent #personal vent

[lets-boogie]

Intro and Shit

Slug | He/They | 21

Looking for something, but idk what yet. So I’m here to share my experiences and opinions on spiritual-related stuff! Also here to learn from others while I’m at it!

General Info To Keep In Mind

Queer (trans masc, asexual/bisexual, panromantic)

System (OSDD-1b)

AuDHD

Non-human

I believe that good and evil are both necessary. Balance and duality are everything, and everything is a grey area. There’s two sides of a coin lol

I work primarily with Goetic demons and things that may be considered “low vibrational” to some. But ill gladly work with most beings :)

I love to debate and have conversations about complicated subjects! I don’t typically get angry, and I’m pretty open minded about other people’s opinions!

I enjoy learning about all sorts of different practices and beliefs. But just because I like to learn about them, that doesn’t mean I believe in or practice them myself lol

People I don’t really like

This isn’t a dni lol, I think those are dumb personally. But here’s my list of people I don’t really like! Serves the same purpose as a dni, gets the same message across at least. I still won’t interact with people if I fall into their dni criteria (unless provoked lol). Also, all the types of people in this list are not disliked at equal rates, and are listed in no particular order.

Nazis/white supremacists

Homo/transphobes (you hate the fact that I exist? I don’t like you lol)

New Age and Love and Light enthusiasts (fuck your higher vibrations)

Christian evangelicals (the Bible is cool and all, but I know damn well you did not read that shit while keeping in mind how theology, the culture for the area and time period the stories were told/written in, mistranslations, and how fucking analogies work)

Folks who appropriate other peoples cultures

Evolution deniers (my ancestors are Tiktaalik and I’ll kill for them)

Flat Earth believers (cool idea though, fun to think about in a fictional setting)

Western tulpamancers, endosystems, system hoppers, and the like (sorry, I don’t hate you guys, but I’m a disordered system and it just rubs me the wrong way personally)

#intro #spiritual #spirituality

[settingtrends]

Most people don't listen to Spanish radio so that doesnt mean Familiar was a hit

that’s completely generalizing the demographics tho. familiar had two main demographics (to me) - the english-speaking general public and the spanish-speaking general public. just because it may not have been super huge/as huge within the english speakers does not mean it had the same turnout within the spanish one. it’s just like an artist being more popular in the uk or in south korea, but not well known in the us. it doesn’t mean they’re not successful at all, it just means they’re not successful in that specific demographic. anyway the point I was trying to make earlier was that i heard familiar on spanish radio and that does mean something because it’s been how long and it’s still being played? that means it made enough of an impact that it’s still relevant.

#idk if that made any sense #idk why every time I talk about familiar I always have someone in my inbox starting #some sort of debate. like honestly maybe im being touchy #but I cant help but think about the fact that debates happen with the song that has #a different culture on it. like maybe im taking it personally but like....why is 'get low' #considered more successful than familiar when honestly I don't see how they got #received any differently? I honestly saw more about familiar than I did about get low #maybe it's just from different perspectives but like....idk #idk it rubs me the wrong way tho and I really hope that's not your intention anon #im going to stop answering asks now bc I already feel...idk idk idk bye

[tsukkisbean]

24 cakes pt.2 | drabble

pairing: tsukishima kei x fem!reader

genre: smut

warnings: cock warming, dacryphilia, recording (idk if there’s an actual name for this), cunnilingus (face sitting), swearing, all characters are aged up!

a/n: the second part of my one shot (so twoshot? idk) or we could call it an alternative ending :-) idk anyways enjoy!!

a sly smile appears on tsukishima’s face, “oh yeah? i can think of plenty of things that i can beat you at right now.”

your palms hit the counter as your body shoots out of its seat, “oh yeah? let’s go then. right here, right now.”

in four long strides, your boyfriend made his way around the counter to stand before you. one of his hands gently stroked your cheek. the other found its place on the small of your back, firmly pressing your bodies together.

his lips brushed the shell of your ear, sending chills up your spine, “pretty sure i have more willpower than you.’

you mentally curse yourself for ending up in this situation. you should have known better. you should have known better than to fall prey to tsukishima’s provocation once again. but here you were, seated at your desk with your boyfriend’s cock buried deep inside you.

letting out an exasperated sigh you lean forward to rest your arms on your desk. your hands curl into fists when the sound of tsukishima’s smug laughter fills the room.

“what’s wrong? can’t take the heat?” his breath fans your skin as his lips ghost along the back of your neck, stopping to nip at it every so often, “just awhile ago you were sooo confident you could win against me.”

when you don’t respond, tsukishima’s hand comes down harshly against your thigh. a choked moan makes its way out of your throat, despite the searing pain left behind by the impact, “mm i’m talking to you, baby.”

you don’t want to admit defeat. you can’t give him yet another thing to taunt you about. so you try your best to think about anything but the annoying pulsing sensation coming from your lower region. but the way your boyfriend’s starts to trace lazy circles along your thigh, makes things a little hard.

completely at your wits end, you sit up, leaning back until your back meets tsukishima’s chest. your breaths are shallow and uneven, and it’s probably the lust taking over but the mere feeling of his breath on your skin makes you dizzy.

despite tsukishima’s hold around you, your entire body twitches when his free hand roams down to meet your clit. immediately you bite down on your tongue, refusing to make anymore sound and give him any sort of satisfaction.

but when he starts to rub gentle circles on your clit, you know you’re about to lose, “kei, n-not fair.” your voice comes out an octave higher than usual, quivering with every word.

his lips meet your neck again, this time sucking on a harsh patch of skin - surely there’ll be a mark tomorrow morning, “don’t remember saying anything about being fair.”

clenching your teeth in annoyance your fingers find his thighs for some stability. if he wasn’t going to play fair, neither were you. and in a last-ditch attempt to outdo your boyfriend, you clench as hard as you can around his cock.

a growl erupts from his throat, teeth clamping down on your shoulder. the sudden impact causes you to yelp, your fingers digging little crescent shapes into his skin.

this time it’s him who can barely form the words, “fuck, y/n stop that.” you can tell from the way his voice fluctuates that you’re inches away from winning.

you turn your head slightly, cooing at the sight of your disgruntled boyfriend, “what? you never said anything about being fair.”

he only glares at you in response. with the tables now turned, you can feel confidence and adrenaline coursing through your veins. you pull his hand away from your clit, bringing his fingers to your mouth. swirling your tongue around his digits, satisfied when you see the corner of his mouth twitch. you release his fingers from your mouth with a small pop, a string of saliva being the only thing connecting them now.

through hooded lids, you notice there’s a layer of sweat now formed on his forehead. you watch as his jaw clenches and unclenches, and how his nostrils flare in annoyance. but the tell tale sign that you’ve won? the dark tint in his usual golden eyes.

you brace yourself, but what you expect never happens. instead, you’re lifted onto your feet, and your lower region is met with the cool draft of the room. you feel your boyfriend leave your side, but before you can complain, he returns behind you with your laptop in hand.

“kei, what are you doing?” your eyes flicker between his eyes and the machine in hand.

he ignores you, placing the laptop on the desk and lifting the lid. when it powers on, he gestures for you to put in your password. although you’re still uncertain where this was going, you comply.

once your home screen loads, tsukishima is quick to pull up photobooth and press record. when the realization dawns on you, you feel your entire body heat up. but whether it’s from excitement or embarrassment, you’re not entirely sure.

his hands find the hem of your shirt, and now you’re completely bare. through the camera, you realize that tsukishima is pretty much fully clothed at this point. you turn to complain, but don’t get too far when your body is pushed forward. you catch yourself with your forearms, and now your eyes are level with your laptop screen.

seeing yourself through the webcam made your heart churn - you were now certain it was excitement. your pussy clenches in anticipation, something which your boyfriend takes notice of. running his fingers along your dripping folds, he coats them with your essence. he holds his fingers between you and the laptop, the webbing of your arousal glistening off his fingers in the light, “you’re so wet, it’s kinda cute.”

immediately, you feel your body heat up even more than before. but before you can retort, your boyfriend’s figure disappears from the screen. and in flash, your legs are forced apart, the draft replaced with a new warmth. your knees buckle at the stimulation from tsukishima’s tongue sliding along your folds, but his grip on your thighs hold you in place.

you watch as your expression changes on camera as your boyfriend eats you out. it’s absolutely lewd but you force yourself down on him more, eliciting a strained moan from him, “fuck kei.. m- more. fuck.”

he continues to lap at your juices, darting his tongue in and out of your pussy, occasionally giving your clit a teasing flick. if tsukishima weren’t holding your legs from below, you’re certain they would have given out long ago.  

tears to begin to pool at your eyes, your throbbing pussy crying desperately for sweet release. your legs begin to quake as you begin to reach your high, it’s almost as if you can taste it, “k-kei, ‘m close.”

but it never comes, and you should have known better. that’s just how he always is. you curse under your breath, shooting daggers through your tear filled eyes when your boyfriend emerges on the screen once more.

his smirk says it all, you may have won the battle but he’s about to win the war. sucking in the air between your teeth, you debate for a moment. but the thought gets lost when you feel the tip of his cock prodding your entrance once more.

you push your hips back, but his hands hold you in place, “ask nicely, y/n.” the way your name rolls off his tongue only pisses you off further. you catch each other’s gaze through the computer screen, neither wanting to make the first move.

the stand off is cut short as a ringing sound fills the room, tsukishima’s phone vibrating against your bed. the cake. an extra five or ten minutes wouldn’t hurt, right?

it’s as if tsukishima is thinking the same thing because in a single motion, he bucks his hips forward, filling you completely. you groan in the unison as his cock slips out of your wet folds with ease. as he rocks into you, the sound of your moans and skin slapping against each other drown out the sound of the ringing alarm, the cake now forgotten.

your hand travels down to find your clit. the combination of tsukishima bottoming out with each thrust, his hands digging almost painfully into your sides, and now your fingers rubbing your clit in distraught circles drives your senses off the chart.

the tears come rushing back, your cries turning into a mixture of sobbing and moans. as the stimulation continues, your walls clench involuntarily, and that’s all it takes to send the both of you into a frenzy.

you remember the screen before you and so you try your best to watch as the two of you come undone together. his thrusts are sloppy and erratic and his mouth hangs open, a string of swears slipping past his lips, “fuck ‘m close. tighten up a lil’ bit.”

your body is convulsing uncontrollably, but you try best to comply as your climax runs its course through your entire body.

his hand roughly grabs your jaw, tearing your eyes away from the screen for a sloppy kiss. and within moments, you feel yourself filled to the brim with tsukishima’s cum.

neither of you move, simply choosing to enjoy the moment. the air in the room is muggy, your entire body aches and you can definitely feel tiny trails of cum leaking down your leg, but you couldn’t care less.

this time you swoop in for a sweet kiss, your sinful acts from just moments ago completely forgotten, “i love you kei, happy birthday.”

he nuzzles his face into the side of your face, pressing a chaste against your temple, “i love you too, y/n.”

however, the moment doesn’t last long as the high pitched beep echoes throughout your apartment.

the two of you scramble to clothe yourselves before darting back to the kitchen. tsukishima, pulls the oven door open while you pull open the balcony door. once the smoke dissipates and the alarm shuts off, the two you stand before the oven, staring at his burnt cake.

you try to hold back your growing smile, but your attempts are futile. you are absolutely giddy, “looks like i may have won twice today.”

#haikyuu smut #tsukishima smut #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #haikyuu scenarios #clara click clacks #claras steamys

[toshio]

Idk why people try gatekeeping and saying you can't like things because of their personal reasons. You're allowed to like whatever! I do understand the EVA debate has always been ongoing though, it's not something new. Sorry, last anon was sort of a jerk, it was like they were accusing you of glorifying EVA and wishing you lived there.

AHHH thank you friend & ya idk the last sentence they sent rubbed me the wrong way LOL but i think they scrolled thru my blog & were replying to another anon? idk i'm too sleep deprived to care. imho evangelion is great in terms of its storytelling and showcasing taboo things without really glorifying/enabling those behaviors, like those cringe shitty things happen in the show but it's not like...celebrated. it just...happens. writers definitely threw it in to further escalate the theme of despair/hopelessness in humanity. & if stuff like that makes you uncomfy? you don't gotta watch da show, simple

#the show gives you depression tbh #it's all fiction so if the writers can make you mourn for anime characters they're doing a good job u feel LOL #edit: ya i'm like 99% sure the previous anon was replying to the anon before if u scroll down my page #they probs misinterpreted that anon's message

[bittywitches]

Baby Girl | G.D [Part Three]

Part One | Part Two

A/N: Y/N is having a hard time dealing with what happened the other night, but when an unexpected visitor shows up at her school the day seems to turn around :)

Thank you so much for the love I’ve gotten for this series, it really means the world <3 Thanks for reading!

Word Count: 6.2K

The ringing of the school bell at the end of the day was always music to your ears, but today especially it felt like a gift as you rushed to your locker to gather your things. The entire day had been an absolute train-wreck for you, starting with you forgetting your cue cards for your business presentation that morning, to accidentally destroying half of the atom diagram you’d made as a favour to one of the freshmen science teachers (leading to a very embarrassing apology and a promise to fix it by the end of the week that you definitely did not plan on keeping), ending with you completely bombing your physics test last period, effectively raising your anxiety to a new record high. 

This, of course, wouldn’t be happening in the first place if it weren’t for the fact that your brain really wasn’t here right now. Your mind had been wandering the entire day, only really thinking about one thing from the moment you woke up:

Grayson.

And it would be different if they were just pleasant daydreams. No, you were used to daydreaming constantly during school. This was different. This was a constant pounding in your head, just a voice constantly feeding into your anxious thoughts, effectively ruining everything for you today. Ever since the night before, you’d been worrying non-stop about what had happened at the twins’ place. The entire car ride home, you kept dodging questions that your sister asked you, trying your best not to have a mental breakdown in the passenger seat. You were, frankly, mortified by yourself. In your mind, you had effectively ruined your friendship with Cameron, ruined any sort of relationship you could ever have with Grayson, and were sure that this was going to end up with your sister finding out what you had done. So when Cameron texted you that morning seeming like nothing out of the ordinary was going on, you were nervous. It was able to help you rationalize the situation a bit. Okay, so maybe Grayson didn’t go and tell his sister about your breakdown. But still, there’s no way you’d be able to face him again. And you hated that so much, you loathed yourself for ruining something that felt so perfect to you, You hated that you’d fucked up any chance of you and Grayson having any sort of relationship at all. 

Either way, your heart immediately sunk again that morning when your sister told you that she’d be at work again, so Cameron would be the one to come pick you up. Hearing this, you, of course, tried to ignore the impending feeling of doom that crept over your shoulder throughout the day, which now felt like you were carrying tons of bricks on your back instead of the textbooks you were now loading into your bag before closing your locker door. You sighed, pressing your forehead against the cold metal as you took your phone out.

There was a notification:

Cameron D.

Heyyy, so there’s been a slight change of plans…

Reading those words only made your heart felt like it was going to shoot up and out of your throat. What could she mean by that?

You pressed the message and quickly responded to her.

Y/N

Idk if I like how that sounds…

Throwing your backpack over your shoulder. you headed for the staircase as you watched the three little dots bounce on your screen.

Cameron D.

Turns out my friend is hosting a get together later tn for her coworkers but she completely forgot n now she needs my help to get everything ready

Cameron D.

Sooooo I asked one of the boys to pick you up! :)

The tip of your shoe immediately caught onto the last step, vaulting you forward literally almost getting you to eat dirt, but you caught yourself. And it wasn’t because you weren’t looking where you were going (although that did happen frequently as well) but because you genuinely felt your fear that had been trickling up your spine all day finally come up and grip your throat with no warning, catching you completely off guard. Thank god you’d already gotten to the bottom of the stairs, since you were quite sure that you would’ve fallen face-first down them and broken a multitude of bones.

You hastily texted her back, making your way out the front door of the school.

Y/N

One of the boys??

When your foot landed on the curb you stopped abruptly and looked up to see you’d already reached the road.

Cameron D.

Yea, my brothers?? One of the twins lol did you forget them already

You would’ve laughed if it weren’t for your overwhelming anxiety right now.

Y/N

Which one of the twins?

The fact that she wasn’t texting you back immediately literally felt like it was giving you a heart attack.

Y/N

Cameron?

Y/N

Which twin???

Y/N

CAMERON

Y/N

ANSWER ME

“Y/N?” 

You looked up, and you could feel your heart actually stop beating. A shock of cold went up through your body when your eyes connected with those familiar hazel ones, the ones that you’d spent the past fourteen hours thinking about non-stop.

You spun around quickly, your back towards the immensely eye-catching baby blue Porsche, and the figure who was looking at you threw the window. You were panting hard. You pressed a hand to your forehead, trying to keep your head from spinning. It’s not him. It can’t be him.

You then heard you phone ding again, and you looked at your screen:

Cameron D.

Grayson, why?

You dropped your hands to your sides, breathing heavily and trying to blink back the tears that were starting to form in your eyes from all the thoughts rushing through your head at once.

“Y/N, it’s Grayson!”  His deep voice was so loud in your ears and you could see the eyes of other students passing by clinging to the bright car, then drifting their eyes towards you when they saw who the man inside the vehicle had his attention on. You gripped the straps of your bag tightly and pressed your eyes shut, trying to concentrate on anything but the eyes and the stares and the voices and that feeling-

“Um, Cameron said she wasn’t able to pick you up.” He said, quieter this time. But it sounded distant to you, and you were trying your hardest just to focus on the sound of your deep breathes and nothing else because you really didn’t feel like collapsing for a second time in front of him-

But thinking of that only made your heart start beating faster again and your breaths were coming shorter and shorter. Hastily opening your eyes, you reached into your sweater pocket and fumbled for your inhaler, quickly bringing it out and taking a puff. 

Your breathing eased, and your head felt like it was clearing up from all of the anxiety-inducing thoughts. You breathed out, stuffing your inhaler back into your pocket (you’d never let it leave your side again). One last look at your phone made you bite your lip in annoyance.

 “Thanks a fucking lot cam-” You muttered, turning around to finally face the one you were sure you’d never be able to face again.

Grayson’s furrowed eyebrows finally relaxed, a wary but soft smile growing on his face. “Hey.”

Seeing his face again didn’t help the buzzing of nerves inside of you. He looked amazing. Looking at him now, it made you realize that you’d missed his face. His lovely locks of hair, his gentle brown eyes, his chiseled face and his short stubble and his pink lips. You’d spent the whole day trying to push the image of him out of your head but seeing him now felt like the dam holding back all of those thoughts and emotions had broken and were now flooding your brain. It felt wrong to look at him like this when he still felt like a stranger.

You breathed out slowly once more. “Hey.”

“Cam sent me.”

Your feet finally began to move, and you walked over to his car. “Yea, I know.” You pointed to your phone.

“Ah.” 

You hesitated when you reached the side of the car, debating over if whether to sit in the passenger or back seat.

“I promise I won’t bite,” Grayson said, unlocking the car door with a sheepish smile.

You bit the inside of your cheek, reaching for the passenger seat door handle and pulling it open. You sat down gently in the passenger seat, placing your school bag at your feet before closing the door.

The drive was quiet for a while, a million thoughts rushing through your head at once. There was a part of you that wanted to reach for him, grab his face in your hands and kiss him like you did the night before. Sure, you were scared. But the feeling that rushed through you when his lips were connected with yours was something that was incomparable to anything else. But then there was that other part of you; that nagging, intrusive voice that won’t stop reminding you that you had fucked up. You embarrassed yourself. You shouldn’t be here, in his car, after everything you’ve done.

You bury your face in your hands, rubbing your face and your eyes.

Just get through the car ride.

“Hey.” You looked up, a bit startled, and saw Grayson giving you a quick look before returning his eyes to the road. “You okay?”

“Oh, yea, just had a bit of a rough day at school-”

“No, I meant,” He ran a hand through his hair then rested it at the back of his neck. “About yesterday.”

“Oh.” Your face flushed. The trees and cars outside the window suddenly seemed like they were a lot more interesting than anything inside the car. You rubbed circles on your knees, trying to keep yourself from freaking out any more than necessary. “Y-yea. I’m okay.”

“That’s good.” He had one arm gripped on the steering wheel, very obviously showing off his arm in his tshirt from the vein leading up to his bicep from his hand. “Did you get home okay? I was going to call you, but I didn’t have your number-”

“Yea, got home fine.” You said, cutting him off abruptly. He didn’t say anything, but you could see him in the front mirror looking at you through the corner of his eye. A few more minutes passed before he said anything else.

“Um, Y/N.” It felt like he was pushing the words out of his throat. “If… if you felt like I was pressuring you yesterday to- to do anything, I’m REALLY s-”

“No! I-It was nothing like that.” You rushed to say, and he looked at you with a worried expression. As if he didn’t believe you because of how fast you’d responded.

You sighed. “It’s okay, I promise.” You could visibly see the weight being lifted off his shoulders when he slumped and let out an audible breath of relief. 

“I…” You stuttered. “I really wanted to.” You muttered quietly.

Grayson’s ears tinted a bright shade of pink at that.

“I-” You said louder now. “I’m really, really so-”

“I thought I told you to never apologize to me.” He stopped you, raising an eyebrow.

A smile finally broke through when he said that.

“Um..” You looked at him now, less afraid to meet his eyes. “Thank you for… for taking care of me yesterday.”

He now returned your smile, happy to finally see your lovely face look happy. “There’s nothing to thank me for.”

You laid back in your seat, sighing in content as you did so.

“Hey, are you busy with anything today?”

You thought about it. Technically, yes. But right now, you really didn’t feel like doing anything else except be here. “No, why?”

“Can I take you somewhere?”

You tilted your head at him.

“It’ll be fun, I promise.”

You bit your lip, unsure of what exactly he had in store for you.

“Please?” His arm came down from the steering wheel to gently lay it on your thigh, his gentle eyes pleading with you.

“Okay.” You said it with no hesitation in your voice, because you wanted to. 

He smiled, taking his hand away, disappointing you a little bit but exciting you nonetheless. 

“Great.” He turned abruptly at the next intersection, and you giggled at the excitement he wore on his face.

“So, you were saying something happened at school today?”

----

“Grayson, where are we?” You stared intently out the window eyes roaming over the golden sand and the rocky terrain.

Grayson stepped out of the car, and walked around to your side, then pulled the door open.

“El Matador State Beach.” He held a hand out for you, and you took it so he could help you out of the car. He closed the door behind you. 

“You’re telling me you’ve never been here before?” You shook your head, eyeing the beautiful birds flying overhead.

“When did you move to LA again?” He began walking, and he gently pressed a hand to your back to guide you along. 

“My freshman year. So…” You looked at him, noticing that his hand still lingered. “Wow, I guess it’s been four years.”

“Four years and you’ve never come to this popular tourist spot?”

You rolled your eyes. “If it’s so popular where are all the people?”

“Most people tend to float towards Paradise Cove, or Manhattan Beach. You know, like your more conventional, Instagram-y kind of beaches.”

“Ah.” You liked the way the grainy sand crunched beneath your sneakers. The salty fresh air filled your lungs, emitting a sigh from you.The ultramarine-blue water was mesmerizing, and the waves playfully splashed up against the rocks. A large rock cliff faces lined the other side of the beach, the beautiful greenery tumbling over it really adding to the whole vibe of the place.

“C’mon.” Grayson gently grabbing your wrist brought your attention back to him, heating your face a bit as he tugged you closer to the shoreline towards an array of tall rocks jutting out of the shallow water.

“Up there?” You questioned quietly.

“It’s a great view from there,” He silently pleaded with you again, and you just couldn’t say no to him. The nod you gave him made a big smile grow on his face. 

“Careful,” He cautioned, helping you step up onto the smaller rocks down below, following close behind you. When the rocks started to jut out a bit more, you were warier with your steps, almost slipping. His arms came up to gently hold your waist, steadying you as you reached the flat surface at the top facing out towards the water.

You both sat down on the rock face, dangling your legs over the sides as you looked out over at the water. He was right, the view was spectacular. The sun shined beautifully at the water, it glistening as it came and washed up against the rocks, tickling both of your feet. It was beautiful. And it made it just that much better that you were sitting there with Grayson.

You looked over at him. He laid back on his hands, smiling wistfully to himself as his hazel eyes shined in the sunlight, calm and at peace. He was just as breathtaking as the rest of the view. 

You wanted this moment to last forever.

You bit your lip, that nagging voice becoming louder in your head again. Even if things were okay between you both, it didn’t resolve what happened last night. It didn’t feel right, and it was resting in a funny way in your stomach. And it made sense, you literally just walked into his home and then broke down in his arms a few hours later. You had scared him, and that was unfair, because you barely knew him. Yet you felt like it was more than that. You felt like you owed him something.

“I get panic attacks.” You blurted out. Grayson turned his head to you, tilting it questioningly.

“What?”

“I, um,” You cleared your throat. “Sometimes I get panic attacks, and they can sometimes lead to asthma attacks.”

His eyes widened. “So it is my fault that happened last night, isn’t it-”

“No!” You grabbed his arm. “No, I promise. It’s not your fault. I just wanted to tell you, because… well because I usually don’t collapse in people’s arms the first time I meet them.”

His eyes softened, and he chuckled. “I mean, it would be very memorable if you did.”

You smiled, darting your eyes away. 

“Do you… do you get panic attacks often?”

You turned to him with a somewhat uncomfortable look, which lead to him quickly following that up with “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I was just askin-”

“No, it’s okay.” You smiled at him reassuringly, and he returned it. “They’re not too frequent, but if I get really stressed or freaked out they can happen.” You fiddled with your fingers in your lap. “My asthma’s not actually that bad, it’s really just my panic attacks that make it a problem. I don’t usually have asthma attacks too, though-” You added hurriedly. “It’s just when I don’t have my inhaler it adds to the stress, you know?”

“Actually, yeah, kinda.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “I have asthma too.”

You opened your mouth in surprise. “Oh.”

He chuckled. “Yea. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but I always keep an extra inhaler in my car. Just in case.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s why I got a bit extra freaked out yesterday. I know what it’s like. It’s scary.”

“Yeah, it can be.” You gently pressed your head against his shoulder, effectively causing both of your faces to heat up. 

A few minutes passed by, just you and Grayson listening to the sounds of the ocean and the birds.

“Okay, so tell me.”

You lifted your head up to meet his eyes. “Tell you what?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Anything, everything.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him in confusion, and he chuckled nervously as he turned his body to face you, one leg folded on the rock, the other dangling over the side.

“You know, where you grew up, what you like to do… anything.” He smiled. “I wanna get to know you.”

You could feel that fuzzy feeling returning to your chest. “Um,” you started, tucking a hair behind your ear. “I’m not really that good at talking about myself. What do you wanna know?”

“Everything.” The look in his eyes was so genuine you were honestly scared of what he was asking.

You giggled nervously, “that’s not really specific, Grayson.”

He laughed. “Okay, how about I ask you questions then? But no matter what you have to answer it.”

“No matter what?”

“Yep.”

“I don’t know…”

“Ok, fine. But I’d really like it if you did tell me.”

You smiled. “Okay, ask me a question and we’ll see if I’ll answer.”

He bit the inside of his cheek as he smiled at you. He couldn’t get enough of you.

“Okay, um…” he rubbed his hands together as he thought. “Where'd you grow up?”

“New York.”

He waited for you to elaborate, but huffed when you didn’t. “Very specific.”

You giggled. “Sorry. Alright, um…” You turned your body so you were facing directly him. “I was born in Buffalo, and it was the only place I ever lived before coming to California. My family actually used to live in Toronto.”

“You’re Canadian?” He said a bit incredulously.

You scoffed. “Don’t act all offended.”

His face reddened. “No I wasn’t-”

You laughed. “I’m kidding. I’m not, but my parents and my sister are since they’re citizens. My sister was born in Canada, but my parents moved to Buffalo when she was around three for my mom’s work. Apparently my dad wasn’t too optimistic about the move, but…” You shrugged. “It happened. And then a while later I arrived, and we didn’t move since then. I’ve actually lived in the same house my whole life until Angela and I moved here.”

“Really.” Grayson tilted his head slightly, his eyes wandering your face. 

“What?”

“Nothing, just, seems like someone liked that wouldn’t just up and decide to move all the way across the country.”

You rolled your eyes. “Right, it’s not like you and Ethan didn’t move to LA when you were fourteen either.”

He chuckled. “Okay, fine. I’m assuming your parents are staying here with you and your sister...” 

You snorted. “Please. That is the last thing either of us would want.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at you. “And why’s that?”

You licked your lips. “No reason.”

“Y/N…”

“What? You know, two sisters, leaving for the City of Angels, who would want their parents here to spoil all the fun?” You chuckled awkwardly.

He raised an eyebrow at you now, and you knew he was calling your bluff.

You sighed, leaning back on your hand. “Okay, my parents aren’t really the best people.” You rubbed your arm gently, breathing out as you look out over the water.

A tingle went up your arm and down your back when you felt Grayson’s hand gently rest on yours. Your eyes went to his, and you saw that they were soft now. Understanding.

“You really don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

You shook your head. “No, it’s okay. I want to.” You breathed out again. “My parents are really conservative types, and we don’t really agree on most things.” Grayson nodded as you spoke. “And it’s never really been a big deal for the most part, since I’d just avoid talking to them, but…” 

You coughed. “Okay, so my sister has always wanted to be a chef or a baker or just something in the culinary industry.”

“Oh right I hear Cam saying something about her having to deliver a cake or something the other day.” His thumb was gently rubbing the back of your hand now. It seemed like he didn’t notice, since all his attention was focused on you, but for you, it was all you could think about.

“Y-yea. Well, originally, there wasn’t any plan of her ever getting into that sort of career.”

“Oh?”

“My parents wanted her to become a lawyer, like my dad. Sure, she wasn’t the hugest fan of it, but she was fine with doing what she loved in her spare time, so she was okay with majoring in Law.”

“So what was the problem?”

You sighed. “Well, Angela’s gay.”

Grayson’s eyes widened a bit. “Oh.” 

“I’m only telling you because she’s really open about it and you’d probably figure it out as soon as you met her anyways.” The wind kept blowing hair into your face, but Grayson brought a hand up to help brush it behind your ear. 

“...And because I trust you.”

His hand froze by your ear when he heard those words, and he tried to suppress the giddy smile that was very obviously growing on his face. You couldn’t help but return it, rolling your eyes as his hand fell away into his lap.

“I’m happy to hear that.” You nodded. “So… what happened?”

“Right well… Angie decided that she was going to come out to Mom and Dad. I told her it was a bad idea; not because of like- I mean it’s because it’s our parents. I know them and I knew how they would react, but she didn’t want to believe it. She, for some reason, was very believing that they would be supportive.”

“...But they weren’t.”

“Nope. I’ve really tried to block out the memory of that conversation; I told her that if she was going to tell them that I would at least have to be there. But it wasn’t great.” You bit your tongue gently. “They said that they wouldn’t have something so disgraceful living under their roof. They basically kicked her out of the house.”

“You don’t mean they literally-”

“Well in my opinion it would’ve been less embarrassing if they did. My mom actually slapped her across the face, and my dad has already gone downstairs to go get her a suitcase to pack her things.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I really wish I was.” Your voice had gotten softer now since you were trying to make sure it wouldn’t tremble when you spoke. “My mom then went off on some random tangent about how Angela was terrible and never even cared about her studies in the first place and it was probably because she was off somewhere tarnishing her name and- and when my dad got back he threw the suitcase at her and yelled at her to take all of her garbage with her.” Tears begin to prickle in your eyes. “That they didn’t want anything that would remind them of her.” 

“That’s so awful.” Grayson’s face looked pale, like someone had come and drained all the colour from his face. He was horrified that someone could ever do such a terrible thing to their own child.

“Yea.” You sniffled, bringing a hand up to rub your eyes. “And then I started yelling… I don’t even remember what I said, I was so mad.” The hatred you had for your parents was beginning to bubble up inside your chest again, after you had suppressed it for so long. “And before I knew it I was going to get my own suitcase too.”

Grayson’s mouth opened a bit. “That’s why you left?”

You laughed dryly, but there wasn’t any humour in it. “I wasn’t going to live in a house that didn’t love my sister for who she was. And I definitely wasn’t going to let her leave on her own. She’s too good for that.” Hot tears were now streaming down your face. 

“Y/N..” Grayson’s hand came up wipe the tears from your cheeks. 

You chuckled. “I’m sorry. You’ve known me for what, two days and you’ve already seen me cry twice.”

“Nope, try again.”

Your nose scrunched up. “Wha-” But then you realized you’d apologized to him. Again.

“Right, um…” You sniffled again. “Thank you for listening and… for caring.”

He smiled. “I’m always here.” You were going to bring your hands up to rub your eyes, but you finally realized that your hand and Graysons were now intertwined, gently resting on the surface of the rock. Grayson’s eyes followed yours, and the colour returned to both of your faces when you realized what you had both subconsciously done.

He chuckled. “So, um,” He rubbed the back of his neck. “So you guys just decided to come to LA after that?”

“Well, kind of, yea. After we got kicked out, we didn’t really have anywhere to go. Luckily Angela had some cash so we were able to stay at a hotel that night. We got to talking and she ended up just being like, fuck it, there’s no reason to keep doing Law since the only reason she was doing it was for our parents. And she knew that I’ve always wanted to go to Caltech, so…” You shrugged. “Here we are.”

Grayson shook his head, laughing.

You giggled. “What?”

“Nothing, I just..” He shrugged, laughing more. “I never knew.”

“Well yea, how could you?” He looked at you, the familiar softness in his eyes. “I mean, you just met me.” 

Your eyes widened when you realized that. “Wow, you’ve just met me, and I’ve told you more personal stuff than I think I’ve ever told anyone.”

“I guess I’m just lucky then.”

You giggled.

“So,” He said, looking out towards the sky. “Graduating soon. Excited?”

“Very.” 

“I bet that’s gonna be a fun day. But…” He turned his head towards you. “I guess your parents aren’t coming, are they.”

You shook your head. “I don’t think I’ve talked to them since last summer, so considering they didn’t get an invite… yea. Probably not.”

“Well, at least you’ll be able to spend that day with your sister.”

“Yea, well, no.”

“No?”

You sighed. “Angela booked a really big catering job for that day months in advance.”

Grayson’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? Did she not know?”

“She didn’t until I told her. She told me that she would cancel the job, but I told her not to. It’s a really good one and I know she’ll make a lot from it.”

Grayson’s jaw really did drop this time. “I can’t believe you.”

“What?” 

“It’s your graduation! You’re serious just going to be there by yourself?”

You shrugged. “She’s the only one I’d even want there. But the job is important. Besides, it’s not like I’ll be totally alone. All my friends will be there.”

“Yea, with their families.”

“Can you not ruin this for me?”

Grayson chuckled. “Okay, my bad. It is a really nice thing you’re doing, though.”

You rubbed your arm. “I’m not that much of a saint. She said we’d go out for ice cream when she gets home that day.”

Grayson laughed, and you smiled, letting go of his hand for a moment, emitting a soft sound from him in protest, but you just as quickly scooched over closer to him so your shoulders were touching, then reached for his hand again once more. He graciously took it, interlocking his fingers with yours as you laid your head on his shoulder. 

“Grayson?”

“Yea?”

“Thank you. For today.” He laid his head down on top of yours, and you smiled against his shoulder. 

“It was my pleasure.” He turned his head slightly to press a kiss to your head, then rested it back again. 

You inhaled the vanilla scent of Grayson mixed with the lazy water now sloshing below the two of you. The calmness washing over you was the best feeling. This was the most relaxed you had been in a long time.

Suddenly your phone vibrated in your pocket. You took it out to see that it was a text from your sister, asking where you were.

“Ugh.”  You sat up, shoving your phone back in your pocket, but making sure not to let go of Grayson’s hand.

“What is it?” His hair that had fallen into his face seemed to make him look even more gorgeous than usual.

“It’s Angela.”

“Shit, didn’t realize how long we’d been here, sorry-” 

You brought your other hand up to his face, pressing your index finger to his lips. “Hey, this is a two-way street. I shouldn’t be hearing any apologies either.”

He smiled against your finger, only nodding in response. You grinned, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek when you let your hand fall away.

“Okay, let’s go.” As Graysons stood, he gently pulled you up. The way down seemed even more precarious from the top, but Grayson made sure not to let go of the strong hold he had on your hand the entire way down. 

After you’d made your way down, you were ready to let go of his palm, but his grip only tightened when yours loosened, letting you know that he didn’t plan on letting go. You smiled to yourself as you both walked back towards the car, swinging your arms between each other.

…

“Y/N. We’re here.” 

You gently cracked your eyes open to see that you guys were parked outside your apartment building. Hastily going to wipe any drool off your face, you bent down to retrieve your bag from your feet.

“Sorry didn’t mean to fall aslee- “ You shook your head. “Thank you. For dropping me off.”

“I’m just glad I got to spend time with you today.” The look in his eye was so genuine, so gentle and sweet and loving all at once. You couldn’t get enough of those baby browns.

“Yeah. me too.” Your eyes darted down when you saw Grayson lick his lips. Unknowingly to you, he’d been darting his eyes back over to your sleeping face throughout the car ride, absolutely in love with your blissful, beautiful expression.

He leaned down closer to you, not too close to insinuate anything but close enough for you to know that he was wanting.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered in his gravelly voice, eyeing your soft lips.

You nodded, a small smile on your face as he leaned down, connecting his lips with yours.

The kiss was soft, knowing but cautious. It felt like the first kiss you both had shared, but this time the euphoric feeling felt more like a constant warmth throughout your entire body; it was familiar, no longer scary. You knew this, and you wanted this. He wasn’t a stranger anymore. 

You leaned in further, pressing your lips a bit firmer to his, knowing that he wouldn’t go any further without knowing you were okay. Your hands came up to find the neckline of his t-shirt, gently playing with it in your fingers as his hands floated towards your cheeks to cup your face. 

The feeling he gave you was unmatched to anything else you’d ever felt. But there was still something lurking in the back of your mind. Something shouting and screaming and yelling that you’re going to embarrass your self. You’re going to get hurt. You’re going to make a fool of yourself. Yelling at you to run, to hide, to get out-

You suddenly pulled away from Grayson, lowering your head gently.

“Y/N?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I-”

“I really mean it this time though. I am.” You looked up at him to see his worried and confused expression.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked, leaning away from you.

“No.. I just.” You put your head in your hands. “I’m scared, Gray.”

“Scared? Of what?”

“I don’t know, this. All of this.” 

He didn’t seem to understand.

You took on of his hands and held it in both of yours firmly. “Grayson, what happened yesterday, I-”

“We don’t have to do any of that stuff, I promise-”

“No that’s not it.” You exhaled. “It’s just- this is all so, so different and new and it’s exciting but- I don’t know if I can trust myself, Gray.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, what if I get a random panic attack again like yesterday? I don’t want to be fearing that all the time. I don’t want to have that thing in my head constantly warning me. Or to always be waiting for something to go wrong. It’s so scary.”

“But-”

“And there’s just so much going on; with school, and my sister, and god if Cameron found out-”

“You wouldn’t have to deal with her. I’d take care of it.”

“Gray.”

He stared at you with such an intense look, with so much longing and desire. 

What were you supposed to do? Of course you wanted him. You wanted him so badly, it was insane how much you did. But it was absolutely crazy to you. You’ve known him for two days. You didn’t know how these things worked. 

  And a part of you still didn’t believe it was true. That this boy sitting in front of you actually liked something about you, much less liked you as much as you liked him.You didn’t trust it. It didn’t make sense to you. How could it be possible? He was Grayson. You were you. 

 And the voice in your head kept telling you that there was no way this would work. You were so convinced that he would find something about you, or your life, or literally anything, and that would be it. He’d realize he was wrong. He’d realize that you weren’t what he wanted. Or he’d realize you were never what he wanted in the first place. Or worst of all; he wouldn’t find anything. One day he’d just realize that he didn’t want you anymore. He was done with you. It was also some illusion. He would leave. And you would lose him.

You couldn’t go through that again.

Grayson sighed, now taking your hands and holding them in his. “Yeah. okay.”

“I really am sorry.”

He shook his head. “Try again.”

“Grayson, I am.”

“Nope.”

“I-”

“Nooope.”

You both cracked a smile.

“Fine. Thank you for being so understanding.”

He brought your hands up to his lips and kissed your knuckles. “As long as we still get to hang out, I’m okay.”

You grinned. “I’m down for that.”

Your phone buzzed in your pocket again, and you checked to see it was another text from Angela. 

“Shit okay, I really should go.” You slung your backpack over your shoulder, and opened the door. Before you stepped out, you looked over at Grayson, who’s eyes were still following you. You bit your lip, then quickly bent forward to press a kiss to his cheek. 

You were only so strong.

He grinned as you scurried out of the car, shutting the door and waving to him as you ran into your apartment building.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

tags: @5secondsofcnco​ @yourkidsfavbabysitter​ @melodiesforari​ @coxxkaty​ @pumpkiinpasties​ @graysavant​ @joyrivh​

#grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan fanfiction #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan x reader #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan concept #grayson and ethan #ethan and grayson #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan concept #ethan dolan blurb #dolan twins #ethan dolan #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins fanfiction #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins x reader #dolan twins blurb #dolan twins concept

[bittybattybunny]

Isssss a brain static day cuz everything hurts

soooooo

have a oneshot I wrote last night

(warning there is no spell check and this was a ‘in one go’ piece i wrote in 2 hours so there are MISTAKES but idk if I’ll ever flesh this out so instead of it rotting in google you can read it)

((also Hekabe belongs to Gin I just borrowed her))

“Where Wolf?”

11 pages, 4146 words

Enjoy! Maybe.

“Hey girl, how you doing today?” he asked as he looked at the white wolf in the cage. She huffed some as he reached to pet her. Her tail began to thump happily as he scratched her ears. He reached back, “Can I look at your foot?”

She whined some as he sighed.

“Come on let me see it,” he asked again.

“You talking to that wolf again, Ru?”

He turned to look at the older vet with a big grin.

“Maybe. I mean she responds to it. To think, there was an albino in our park.” he smiled softly as the wolf huffed. She shifted to stand and whined, nearly collapsing as she put pressure on her bad leg.

He frowned and shifted to look at it, “It looks less swollen, but clearly not great still.” he helped the wolf lay back down and she flopped her head on his lap. He laughed as he moved to sit properly on the ground and began to pet her, “ever meet a wolf this friendly?”

“I think you’re the only one she let’s do that. She snarled and barked at Johnson.” the vet rolled her eyes and shook her head, “I couldn’t set that leg until we got her sedated last night.”

“She’s not that bad. Look at this face!” he grinned and played with her cheek fluff. She stuck her tongue out and licked him. He laughed happily and nuzzled her, “I love wolves, they are such GOOD animals~!” he sang happily.

“I know that Ru. now come on, use your wolf whispering and help me move her to the exam table so we can recheck that leg. I don’t want to use enough tranquilizers to take down a moose. Again.” Hekabe laughed.

He rolled his eyes, “come on girl, let me up.” he blinked when the wolf put her front paws over his lap. She huffed annoyed. She rolled slightly onto him and whined. He stared at the behavior before laughing loudly and ruffling her chest fur as she lounged.

“She is VERY comfortable with you.” Hekabe knelt down and got a growl from the wolf when her hand went near her. She gave a soft smile, “I’m just as nice as he is.”

“Unless someone messes up!” he laughed when the vet whacked his head. He leaned down towards the wolf, “Okay, honestly missy. You need to let me move you. I have other patients to check on and the sooner I get your leg fixed, we can release you.”

She huffed and rolled off of him and let him shift to pick her up. He grunted some as he carried her to the table.

“You’ll hurt yourself if you keep that up.” Hekabe laughed as the wolf laid on the cold steel table and relaxed. She stuck her tongue out as Arulius began to pet between her ears. She growled and snapped her head when Hekabe moved her bandaged back leg. She huffed when the younger vet put his arms around her neck. She relaxed and as long as he held her the older vet finished adjusting her leg.

“That’s surprising.” she admitted, “I swore her leg was more shattered last night after she chewed her cast off in a fit.”

“Maybe it’s because you knocked her with a moose tranq. God the day I don’t work and I miss the fun.” he kissed between the wolf’s eyes, “who’s a good girl.”

“You know everyone’s going to think you’re some sort of wolf whisperer.” Hekabe laughed and readjusted the leg, “hopefully though she’ll be back out in a week.”

The wolf let out a sorrowful howl annoyed. Arulius laughed.

-------

A few of the rangers could only stare at the young vet tech as he worked on reading some paperwork. At his side the white wolf was standing with her back leg slightly up due to her splint. He’d occasionally reach down to pet her head making her tail wag before he walked down the hall, slowly, with her limping alongside.

“Wow.” The tall black haired ranger snickered, “Hey bonny look.” he pointed, “Looks like he’s got a friend.”

“I see that.” she whacked his arm, “don’t point.”

“White wolf huh. I’ve never seen her on rounds. Who found her?” He asked and shoved his hands in his over sized jacket.

“Oh I guess someone found her in a mudslide, leg was messed up, when she came too she nearly snapped someone’s head.” the shorter ranger scowled, “man i want that pelt. HEY DORK! IF THAT WOLF EVER DIES LET ME SKIN HER AIGHT?” she hollered.

The vet turned with a glare and shook his head before flipping her off.

“How rude.” he scowled as the wolf growled. He sighed tiredly and looked at his watch. She whined as he looked down, “Oh I’m okay.” he tried to assure her and rubbed his neck, “sorry Moony, I’m just…” he turned red, “I’m just worried about something.”

The wolf tilted her head confused.

“There’s this girl I like,” he spoke as he opened the door to the yard area and let the wolf walk outside. She sat down and waited for him.

“But I haven’t seen her past few days.” he turned a brighter red, “I-I’m not creepy! I swear it moony! But I almost always see her when I get home from work but I haven’t seen her since last week and it’s unsettling! I’m wo---” he stopped when she held a front paw up. He placed his hand under it and laughed, “are you trying to cheer me up?”

She gave a bark and limped in the yard and wagged her tail. He smiled softly.

“I suppose I am over worrying… it’s only been…” he looked at his hand counting off, “actually I think when we brought you in was the last day I saw her.”

The wolf’s tail stopped wagging and her ears went very alert.

He frowned, “what’s wrong, you okay?” he reached to pet her and she gave a small whine.

He gave her a smile and pet her cheeks. She leaned into his hands as he sighed and a small wind blew past them.

---------

“What? Moony isn’t eating?” he frowned, “who was in charge over the weekend?” Arulius set his bag down on the table before he went to get his lab coat. He smoothed his scrubs and headed towards where they kept the wolf.

“I think Nick was meant to feed her but I guess she’s been lethargic and hasn’t moved since Friday.” hekabe sighed, “and she snarls if anyone gets near her cage. So. Wolf whisperer if you would.”

“I see…” he sighed and headed into the room, “Moony are you being a bad girl?” he asked as he headed towards the cage. She was laying facing away but her ear perked up. He leaned over and opened the door.

She laid there tiredly and he frowned, “she really doesn’t seem well… wha---” he paused. He grabbed her dish and frowned, “who gave her kibble?”

Hekabe pinched her nose, “I told them not to do that she’s a wild wolf.”

“Let’s get her something e--” he paused when she bit his sleeve. He blinked seeing her standing properly. He grinned and started to chuckle, “look at you!”

She tilted her head and walked a bit.

Hekabe’s eyes widened, “her leg is better?”

“Maybe she needed rest.” he set the kibble on top of the cage to check her back leg. He removed the bandages and looked at the scar along it, “it doesn’t look bad at all!” 

She walked around him whining she tugged his sleeve and moved towards the door and got on her back legs.

“I think she wants out.” he laughed. He smiled, “Can you get her a proper meal? I’m going to walk around with her some.” he opened the door and let her lead the way.

As they walked he paused as he heard some of the rangers chatting. The wolf froze seeing the backpack one of them held.

“Guess some campers found this hidden in a tree. Got an ID and some clothing. Amaris Gaurd---HEY!” Cain gasped as the wolf snatched the bag in her mouth and growled.

“Ugh! Stop letting that thing wander! That’s dangerous!” Bonny hissed at the vet who had gone pale.

“W-who’s bag is that?” he asked shakily, “A-amaris…?”

“Not a common name, someone you know?” Bonny asked as she looked at the wolf and tried to get the backpack. The wolf backed up and looked around. She bit hard on the bag as her tail flicked angrily.

“Wolf talker, get yer damn mutt to give that back. It’s unconfirmed but no one has seen miss Guardian---”

“In two weeks…” he mumbled as he walked over to the wolf, “M-Moony can I…” he choked, “give. Give me that bag!” he pleaded, “I-If it’s Amaris’.... She could be hurt.. O-or…” 

She flattened her ears. She dropped the bag to lick his face reassuringly. She huffed when he paused and she grabbed the bag again. He stared confused and gasped.

“D-Do you know amaris?” he asked her.

The wolf looked away.

“It doesn’t understand you.” Bonny sighed, “it’s a damn mutt.”

“Wolves are smart.” Cain pointed out, “maybe she can lead like a scent hound!” he jested, “but Ru… you and Miss Guardian…?”

“S-She’s my neighbor.” he admitted sheepishly, “I-I don’t know her well but… she brings me food she makes if she makes too much and I like listening to her sing… honestly I’ve been debating asking her on a date but---”

The wolf yelped in shock. He turned confused. She had her ears bent back and was looking away. He sighed and pet the top of her head. He tried to get the backpack but she held it firmly.

“She… I’m not saying this creepy just. I think she’s nice but I had noticed she hadn’t been home in a few days. I figured traveling but… I don’t know…” he gasped as the wolf took off. She ran down the halls and he began to chase after her. She pushed the door open and fled into the yard before jumping the fence.

“S-Someone get that wolf!” bonny shouted and grabbed her walkie, “We have a white wolf loose, potentially has evidence of a potential missing pers---”

“I-I AM NOT MISSING.” came a voice from the tree line. A young woman with snowy white hair stuck her head around the tree as she panted heavily. Her face was bright red as she adjusted her shirt and walked towards the fence barefoot. She fixed her bag and winced as she walked. She lifted her leg with a frown, “I-I’m not missing! I-I just misplaced my bag!” she stated with a frown. She laughed nervously and tried to give a smile.

Arulius stared at her and turned red himself, “M-Miss Guardian… w-what are you d-doing o-out by--- D-Did you see a wolf?” he fretted.

“S-she’s fine.” she grumbled and tried to smooth her hair down, “S-She’ll be f-fine. Y-you people worry too much. She dropped my bag and ran. I-I’ve been… looking for it.” she looked away ashamed.

Bonny frowned, “are you really miss guardian? Amaris? Owner of that bag?”

“Y-Yes she’s my neighbor! I told you!” Arulius sighed and moved towards the fence to lean over it. “Were you traveling?”

“I hurt my leg. I had to… heal up some.” she admitted, “I just got… out.” she chewed her lip and looked up at him. He gave a small smile. He paused as he looked down and noticed the scar on her leg. He frowned, “are you okay? Where are your shoes?”

“O-Oh I um.. I was just.. So panicked and I forgot them and I um.. I just needed my bag cuz my wallet and keys are in it and I wasn’t able to go anywhere.” she laughed nervously, “T-the people caring for me couldn’t speak the same language s-so I wasn’t able to be like h-hey I’ll be okay let me go! B-But it was okay someone I-I kinda know was t-there and made it a bit easier.”

He frowned, “w-were you captive?” he fretted worried, looking at the two park rangers with wide gold eyes, “S-Should we---”

“N-No far from it just um. I uh…” her stomach growled loudly and she covered her face ashamed. “P-Please ignore that I-I haven’t eaten in a few da---” she gasped as he climbed the fence. She went to back up and tripped, whining as she hit her bad leg. He bent down and lifted her up causing her to yelp. She gripped his neck as he started to walk back inside.

Bonny sighed, “cancel that wolf hunt.” she spoke in her walkie and rubbed her eyes, “No missing persons either apparently.”

Cain stared at the woman in the vet’s arms and frowned, “werewolf?” he asked rather bluntly. 

She tensed up and wouldn’t look at him.

“Don’t be a shit head. Werewolves don’t exist.” Bonny sighed as they headed back in, “You idiot.”

“I don’t know.” Cain shrugged as he looked as Arulius set Amaris on a chair so he could look at her leg carefully. “A white wolf wouldn’t let anyone near her BUT Arulius. Miss Guardian states there was a language thing preventing her from getting out of treatment but she had someone she knew. Then the wolf gets alarmed we had Miss Guardian’s bag and ran off with it and when we order a hunt Miss Guardian is conveniently there and no wolf.”

“That just sounds like a story.” bonny shook her head, “god You need to lay of the no sleep forum.”

“Also heterochromatic eyes aren’t common.” he gestured his thumb at her, “Black and Blue. And snow-white hair.”

“I-It’s a coincidence!” she held her hands up, “T-Truly. W-werewolves don’t exist.”

Arulius took her hand in his with a heavy sigh. She looked at him and gave him a smile. 

“I’m okay. Really. Mr. Law.” she assured him, “I’m okay. I just need to get home and off my leg. It’s been messed with too much this week so it keeps healing wrong.” she sighed heavily, “if i just leave it, it’ll put itself back but when people mess with it even though well-meaning it shifts the bones wrong.” she raised a hand and debated a moment before she put it on top of his chestnut hair and pet it lightly, “I’m sorry if I worried you… I didn’t… I really didn’t think anyone would notice if a dog trainer went missing.” she pulled her hand back.

He gave a sigh of relief and got up. Walking towards reception he took a piece of paper and a pen. He scribbled on it before walking back over and held it to her. She took it and turned a bright red.

“T-T-T-This is y-y-y-your!” she gasped as he scratched his cheek ashamed.

“I-If you get hurt again or something, c-call me okay?” he smiled back at her, “Do you want a ride home? You were limping…”

She frowned and held her bag and the number tightly, “I-I couldn’t ask f-for that. I-I can w-wal--”

“We live 10 miles from the park?” he frowned, “I’m not--- no. I may be a vet but that’s just dumb. I’ll drive you.”

“What are you doing? Where’s m--” Hekabe walked down the hall and saw the woman with the white hair. She blinked and looked at the rangers and then her coworker, “what’s this? Where’s our wolf?”

“S-She ran back home.” Amaris frowned, “gave me my backpack and ran.”

“R-Right.” Arulius sighed, “I guess. Um. Hekabe I need to drive Miss. Guardian home.” he rubbed his neck.

“So THIS is the infamous Miss. Guardian…” She grinned, “Now I see why you’re smitten like a kitten.” she purred teasingly as the young man froze. The woman on the chair tensing up the same way. She burst out laughing, “Oh young love!”

“H-He can’t love m-me!” Amaris blurted out, “U-Um I just. I-I’m fine I-I can walk, it’s fine I-I walked here… kinda…” she grumbled and rubbed her sore leg.

“Are we sure werewolves are fake?” Cain asked again as Bonny sighed and shook her head.

Amaris went to stand, rushing to leave but was grabbed by Arulius. She whined and struggled against him as he scowled.

“Let me drive you! We live in the same building!” he spoke forcefully, “you’re clearly in pain walking is going to make it worse.”

“B-But I w-won’t be f-fine!” she whined, “Y-You’re being t-too nice! I-it’s unfair!”

“She likes him.” Cain mumbled, “clearly, right?”

“Yeah. and he’s clearly has the hots for her. I’ve heard him talk in the break room.” Bonny sighed.

Hekabe shook her head and walked over, “Miss. Guardian, just let him drive you. It’s not like he’s asking to date you.” she gave a sweet smile as the young man started to sweat bullets. “Right, Ru? I mean unless you are planning to ask her. She’s cute, and I think you’ve mentioned y---”

She laughed as he pushed Amaris out the front door and into the parking lot before the vet could finish talking.

“He reminds me of my husband at that age.” she held her cheek with a chuckle.

“I still think she’s a werewolf,” Cain mumbled.

------

She held her bag as she sat in the passenger seat of the young man’s minivan as he got in the driver’s side. He tried to fix his hair in the mirror and started it as they sat quietly. He started to drive and peeked over at her as she looked at her feet.

The car was quiet. He cleared his throat getting her attention.

“D-Do you want music?” he asked sheepishly, “I have some CDs of violin performances?”

Her face lit up some, “please! I love violin!” she giggled, “well most classical. I love the sounds. I used to play piano before I moved.”

“We should duet!” he blurted out, “I-I have a violin and I-I’m a little rusty but if you like…”

She stared at him as he focused on the road. She buried her face against her bag.

“S-Sorry I shouldn’t have… Um just I t-thought to offer if you liked music and stuff…” he clicked the music on as he drove.

“I-It’s not that just… Um…” she mumbled, “S-Sorry t-this isn’t you.. You’re a really sweet guy… a-and thoughtful and… I’m not someone you should want to spend those t-types of friendly thoughts on…”

He pulled into their apartment parking lot and frowned, “what say that?” he asked as she unbuckled. He looked at her seriously. He took a deep breath, “this is the worse way to… Um.. you’re really cute and I want to know you better…”

She kept her face hidden and squeaked some. He laughed and she huffed. She peeked from how she leaned on her bag and saw him staring at her. She frowned and puffed her cheeks up.

“T-That’s not fair!”

“You said that at the station too. What’s not fair?” he asked, reaching over to unlock her door for her and unbuckled himself.

“You’re too sweet.” she opened the door to get out. She winced as she got on her leg. He walked around to help her towards the apartment building. 

“I’m really not.” he shrugged, “says the woman who gives me free food.”

She turned red, “I-I have eyes bigger than my stomach is all and I make too much a-and you’re t-too thin. E-even if you can lift me.” she huffed as he helped her up the stairs.

He smirked and scooped her up as she squealed. His cold hand on her thigh. She held on tightly.

“I admit I’m bad about remembering to eat so sometimes your meals are the first thing I’ve eaten those days.” he headed down the hall towards their apartments. She sighed seeing the mail in her box and groaned.

“Do you have any food allergies?” he asked as he set her down so she could unlock her door.

“Chocolate. That’s about it. I can eat most things.” she pushed her door open and grabbed her mail.

“Okay cool. Favorite pizza topping?”

“Meat lovers--- why?” she turned confused as the vet grinned.

“I get out at 6. I’ll bring Pizza.” he smiled. He rubbed his red cheek, “you feed me so can’t I do the same?”

She nearly dropped her mail and frowned as her stomach growled again, “w-why do you…”

“I want to know you.” he scratched his cheek, “I’ve spent two weeks worried about you. Y-You said you didn’t think anyone would notice… This sounds creepy but I noticed the first day…”

She frowned and was quiet, “you… really noticed I was gone?” she chewed her lip.

“I did…” he gasped when she pulled him into her apartment and shut the door. He blinked confused as she looked at him and leaned against it. He was confused as the lights were off but he could see her eyes clearly.

“He was right.” she admitted softly. “Knowing that do you still….”

“He…” he frowned in thought and gasped, “w-what Cain’s ramblings?”

She nodded, “M-Moony…. Me….” she gulped and put a hand to her chest, “I-I’m the white wolf you’ve been caring for.”

He stared at her as she fiddled with her hair. His smile twitched. He curled up to his knees and held his head.

“N-No way…”

“I-I know it’s disgust---”

“ARG I SAID SO MANY EMBARASSING THINGS TO YOU!!!” he lamented loudly. She blinked in shock as he stood up and leaned over her.

“W-waht?” she gulped.

“D-Do I have to say it if you heard it already?!” he asked her with a small huff, “I-It’s so embarrassing! I-If you’re really moony then y-you--- You know what I feel about you!”

“Y-yes w-well I thought.. Maybe kidding around with the dog in the clinic.” she played with her hair as she looked at the floor, “B-but… I guess I was glad someone… noticed…” she huffed some, “even if I’m a wolf do you still… want to go on a date…?”

He blinked and grinned, “I think you know this. But I’m a bit of a wolf whisperer.” he joked. She rolled her eyes some and looked up at him as he smiled.  

“So…?” he asked quietly, “Um…. did you uh…. Want to go out? Not until your legs healed but a stay in date…”

“Get extra bacon on the pizza. I have chips…. If they are still good… has been two weeks since I was home.” she smiled.

“I’ll get more. Soda?” he asked as he finally pulled away. He rubbed his neck sheepishly.

“Oh… no caffeine. I cna’t do anything with caffeine.” she scratched her cheek.

“Ah yeah that is bad for wolves huh… are your allergies all teh same?” he asked as he covered his mouth in thought.

“I can eat plants and veggies a bit easier than a real wolf and breads but Caffine gives me a headache and chocolate makes my break out in hives and i go into shock. I have an epi pen for that one.” she laughed, “I’m not born this way.”

“Really?” he asked curiously, “is it a bite thing… ah…. You’ve licked me…”

She turned bright red, “y-you were really upset!”

He got a sly grin, “Miss. guardian….”

“You can call me Amaris… or moony.” she huffed, “you guessed one of my nicknames.”

He turned bright red, “I-I actually just---” he turned red and covered his face, “I-I heard your brother call you Moony once--- and when I saw the white wolf i thought of you so Moony---”

She stared and started to laugh loudly. She stood on her toes best she could, “did you really keep that much of a watch? That’s a lil creepy. Arulius.”

She gasped when he kissed her forehead. She blinked and cracked a smile as she laughed and leaned against him. He shifted to put his arms on her waist.

“I-I said it wasn’t trying to be creepy. Our walls are thin.” he frowned, “i’ve been trying to think of the best way to ask you out… honestly the next time you brought food over I was going to ask if you wanted to eat together…” he placed his forehead on hers, “who knew I just needed to confess all my feelings to an injured wolf… is your leg okay?”

“It’s sore but if I get off it and live on the couch in human form for a few days i should be right as rain!” she grinned showing her fangs. She turned red, “also if you’re worried, no I’m not a bite and turn type. It was an accidental cursing thing.”

“Oh…. cure…?” he asked curiously and she shook her head.

“Well.” he smiled and grinned gently, “I like wolves.”

#fan fiction #Prince Arulius #Eclipse Guardian #Bunny Wicker #Steve the totally normal human #writing #it's not an ahit au even if Ru is here cuz let's be real this is just me using the version of prince i've bastardized #but i hope you enjoy non the less i just know if i dont post it i probs will never do it #im gonna try to finish teh mg update now sigh

[shay11a]

New Rules, an overly long review

Alright, let’s do this.

I’ll just start with a little disclaimer that english is not my first language and although I’m usually fluent-ish some of my sentences might not translate very well from french, so please bear with me. Also this i like barely edited so sorry about the mistakes.

I’m here to talk about my favorite fanfiction, not only in this fandom, but in all fandom (and trust me, I’m a part of a lot of fandoms), and of all the fanfictions I’ve ever read (and trust me I’ve read a lot) : New Rules by the amazing @tayegi

The first time I read, I binge read it, but make no mistake, I don’t mean that I rushed though the story in one day, oh no, I mean I couldn’t do anything else, every minute of my day that I wasn’t in class or adulting, I was reading it, but it’s one of those rare fictions where I knew I was reading something just that good that I needed to make it last as much as possible. Imagine my struggle, balancing the need to know what was going to happen next and my visceral need to make it last as much as possible because I knew I could never experience this first reading again. 

That’s how much I love this story.

Unfortunetaly, there came a time I caught up.

So I re-read it.

Again.

And Again.

To this day, I often come back to it, re-reading entirely or picking up at any point to enjoy again a moment that I particularly like. I do this often with fiction I particularly liked, but one thing that I find amazing with NR is that, contrary to most fic, no matter where I pick up, I know what is happening, what happened before that, because the plot is just so wonderfully crafted that everything has consequences, every character is relevant and their actions have consequences that they are held accountable to by the plot (dunno is this makes sense but it does in my native language sorry) I regret not posting a review under every chapter as I read, it was selfish on my part, but I needed to continue, I have some notes from this review at the end but they lack the specificity of first impressions, I apologize for that. 

I also have to mention that this review is NOT spoiler free so if you want to read it please, PLEASE New Rules before that there is absolutely NO way that you won’t thank me (and Tayegi of course) afterwards, and don’t ‘I don’t mind spoilers’ me this story DESERVES to be read spoiler free.

Alright, buckle up kiddos, let’s do this.

I. The writing

The way the plot unveils is downright cathartic. I recently re-read it entirely to make this review and going back to the first chapters and seing how everything just MAKES SENSE and how a small thing happening has consequences over everything later. Just HUH brilliant. (I’m thinking about OC’s crush on Jimin here and how through the prism of Mijoo we later see that her crush was her projecting // Jin, now THAT’S WRITING) 

The smut, how do I put it, is bomb but it doesn’t feel like smut smut, it feels like actual sex described, not idealized and in my opinion it just adds to the quality of the story, because sex is an essential part of the story, not something added to satiate the hormones of horny readers (as an ex-horny teenager, I want to thank people writing this kind of smut and say that there is nothing wrong with writing this kind of smut) or just for the sake of it because apparently having sex is the culminating point of a relationship. Sex scenes tell a story as much as argument scenes, if not more. First, because as a sex friends to lover AU (smh) it is inherently part of the story but also because the characters don’t just stop having a backstory, emotions and emotional baggage when they have sex, all those things are still present and they influence the way they act in bed. And THAT is satisfying to read.  

On many occasions, in the fanfic writing community, you can hear (read?) people saying, « this fiction could / should be published like an actual book » I’m not here to further the debate on real literature, fanfiction and so what not, but this fiction is one that, more importantly than it being published, I feel like I could study in english class, take an extract and study the amazing characterization, how the scene furthers the plot, what are the literary devices used to do so. I feel like I could study the running metaphors, the sub plots and how they correlate so well to the main plot and further the characterization of a character, the plot itself or something else. Everything feels like a neatly knitted masterpiece. 

In that aspect, one scene that I particularly liked was the one where OC is hidden listening to JK and Hyejin, and as she hears what he says, she crushes the rose in her hand. It’s such a simple and yet telling idea: her bourgeoning love and hope for a romantic relationship symbolized by the ultimate romantic symbol : a rose, and JK’s words make her try and crush those feelings, but she hurts herself doing so, because the action itself is a painful one — trying to refrain hope / trying to suffocate feelings — but also because love, just like roses has thorns that may hurt, that’s why JK is so afraid of committing it seems, and the irony is that he is doing exactly that to someone else. (My explanation is so messy plfnmesdmflfmqf sorry)

One recurring idea/plot device that I have noticed is the one of misunderstanding / misreading each others. OC and JK constantly misread each others (I’m thinking about the scene in the bar where she rubs his back affectionately and he interprets it in a sexual way) and idk but something about this really hits me hard, because it’s human, so inherently human, this makes the characters feel like human beings not fictional archetypes. Because in real life, we can’t take a step back and have a view of the bigger picture the way we can as an omniscient reader who remembers very well what one said or did earlier that explains their behavior. In real life we dont know and cannot guess why people act a certain way based on some hinted at tragic backstory that would explain their commitment issues.

On a lighter note, the writing is just so freaking FUNNY, like I can’t count how many times I cackled like an idiot reading. + Tayegi has a way of cutting from scenes to scenes or from dialogue to dialogue that is just so FUNNY (if it was a movie I would talk about editing because it’s exactly how it feels, like when you got A saying ‘I will never do that’ and it cuts and the next frame is A doing exactly that)

More on the writing in the notes for every chapter further below.

II. Feminism, social justice and me relating to everything 

Ok this part is going to be a bit more personal but I had to address how much main girl and her struggles resonated with me. As a feminist myself I VERY often struggles with the same problem : that is when my beliefs come brutally crashing with the social constructs I have internalized and have yet to deconstruct as well as the people surrounded me who don’t necessarily share the same belief. And the way Tayegi portrayed this is spot on not to say borderline genius. 

Her mixed feelings when facing Hoseok « not like other girls » comments or the conversation where she struggles to explain why she is fucking the notorious fuckboy despite her talks about hook-up culture were punches in the guts to me, because feminists are always the ones to be criticized the most easily (I am aware that my phrasing here is horrendous but I don’t know how to word this differently again sorry English is not my native language) and the slightest slip-up will be pointed at by people who aren’t even feminist but see an easy way to gaslight them. So, to read this, to read another woman facing the same situations and being as utterly upset and sometime powerless as I felt, god was it cathartic. 

And don’t get me started on the way she always ALWAYS sticks by her principles of sorority, even to the women that have been nothing less than mean to her and how hard it is to support other women when we live in a society that always pit women against each others. I FELT that. But nevertheless main girl tries to, she compliments Somin on her dress, Hiejin as well even though they both have been openly hostile (and even mean sometimes) to her. I truly felt this, all theses little moments, just a sentence here and there, but I felt them in my guts.

III. The characters 

The characters, oh god, the characters. OC ? Marry me. JK? Marry me (also I want to slap him but it’s another story). Taehyung ? Marry me. Mijoo? Marry me.   

The relationship between OC and her BFF is in my opinion one of the best thing about the pic and one that really remarks it from other, the twist about twist alsmot made me believe it would be like every other pic where oc ends up with virtually no friend (especially female ones because like everyone know girls cause drama riiiight ) but it happens so early ? How could it ooooh it’s not like that, OC and her BFF and mature enough to discuss it, it still has  consequences, the scene where OC accuses BFF of pushing her onto Jk to make herself feel better about jimmy still gives me chills because, yeah, it makes sens that she would, and it kinda feels like she did with how insistant she has been, but again, we are told the story from OC’s perspective, so obviously she feels bad when BFF insists that her and JK are meant to be bc she knows that JK wouldn’t date her, but again, as readers, we can kinda see from BFF perspective, they indeed look perfect for one another and only misunderstanding and insecurities and Jk’s past seems to be in the way (okay granted when you say it like that it seems like a lot), but in the end, Mijoo also seems genuine in the way she pushes them together, even though, yeah she might have, consciously or not done it for that reason.

i don’t know if I want a happy ending for OC and JK, I want one because they are so good and sweet together and after everything they’ve been through I feel like they sort of deserve it, but after everything they’ve been through, especially the way JK has behaved, it seems hard for a happy ending to happen. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of time and talking (including his backstory that has been hinted at a few times wink wink) for them to work things out, if they work things out.

I’ve mentioned that before but : THE SORORITY oh lord where do I start? OC standing up for Hyejin and Somin even when they had a few rough patches, sign me the fuck UP. OC not turning totally on her best friend Mijoo (my girl btw) and overlooking their friendship and what she had done for her in the time of Jin because Mijoo made a selfish mistake ? Yes please, MORE.

Hoseok is, in my opinion, spot ON. It took me some time to exactly pin point who he reminded me of but then I realized he is exactly what I call the 'apolitical guy’, who is convinced to not have controversial opinion and would deny ever having prejudice when he clearly has (i.e. the scene where Oc calls him out on his misogynie

I have to admit that Hyejin and Somin are amongst my favorites because even though the plot (and the fact that we are basically supposed to be on OC’s side as the story is told from her perspective)  makes them very unsympathetic, your writing allows us to understand their actions and empathize with them. Learning about Hyejin’s past with JK makes her look like the character of a fan fiction where she could have been the main character unfortunately for her, this is OC’s story so Hyejin can’t get the guy in the end. But truly, her backstory feels like an entire other ff in the story and to be honest basically every other character’s backstory as well as the subplots feel this way. And Somin, well Somin is basically going through the same thing as OC but with Hoseok so how can we mock her for it while crying for OC ? That’s impossible and that’s why your writing is so powerful, there is no clear ‘bad guy’ (appart from J*n but who cares about that roquefort face) and everyone is in that gray, humane area. 

Every character has so many layer (I don’t count JK and OC in this because at this point we can’t talk about layers anymore it’s a damn millefeuille) and getting to discover more about them is amazing. 

Basically, every side character reflects something on OC and JK and further the plot, the themes while feeling like their own individuals with their own complex thoughts and problems and I think that’s fucking brilliant. 

And now onto my notes for every chapter (it’s low-key very messy sorry)

Chapter 1 :

Lord to thing that it started with a simple friend request :’)

I love how in the very first line, OC telling Mijoo how she knows JK instantly characterizes him to the reader, it’s smart BUT also characterize OC as someone quick witted and serious/professional but also very sarcastic, funny and taking no shit from anyone. Incipit done well here. I mean, so much exposition is crammed into the very first lines but it just feels soooo natural!

I also love how the dynamic between Mijoo and OC can appear « basic » but will later be revealed to be so much more complex and profound and that’s basically how everything in this fic just keep getting better and more complex as you read.

Also, I love how OC and JK’s first encounter is because they are both trying to help their best friends, I missed it in the first reading but it’s so telling of their characters. Also I appreciate OC not hating on JK just because she hates him from afar and he suddenly notices her and gets turned on by that (like in a lot of ff let’s not lie, I love myself some bad boy!AU but it’s getting redundant), she genuinely seems to not give a fuck about him and it’s so funny to me somehow, my girl just minding her business, getting her straight A’s and doing charity work, we stan. Also, the entire part where they complain about Jimin and Mijoo is downright hilarious 

I really like the way JK says the poetry assignment is easy, hinting at the fact that he is, in fact, not a stupid fuckboi cliché (+ what happens with their presentation and him working his BUTT of)

The entire part where OC and Jk act like they are together is so DAMN FUNNY but at the same time it just shows that they have great chemistry from the get go and I love that. (But seriously it’s so f*ing funny)

I love they way OC’s crush on Jimin is brought up, it’s not outwardly said, but the way he is described form her pov makes it obvious and her helplessness when looking at him and Mijoo is just so heartbreaking (+ getting to me on a personal level since I’ve been in a very similar situation for years so :))) like, you can feel that she doesn’t want to be feeling this way, and is obviously trying to help her BFF and be selfless but cannot help but feel jealousy.+ JK immediately catching up on her crush, showing he is more observant than you’d think.

JK and OC being dumb & dumber AND partner in crime is everything I’ve ever wanted

The description of the feeling of loneliness post-parties is so accurate, and the way she feels is so relatable and heartbreaking. 

The part about anguish and the way she feels suffocated by her feminine attire got to me and honestly I got really close to cryingThe end of the chapter upsets me in the best way, to see JK be so oblivious to how vulnerable and lonely OC is, man it really makes the entire thing so much more gutswrenching.

Highlights (basically lines that made me laugh or that I find particularly well written) :

“then I don’t know why he’s friended you”

“should I block him too?” 

“can you get you get more obvious without tattooing ‘Park Jimin’ on your ass? It’s obvious he owns it anyways”

“why does this kid has so many shirtless selfies”

“it’s like this boy is like a walking cliché of the world’s most basic fuckboi” I see what you did here ;)))

“Ah… you knew?” The way I laugh EVERY time at this line

“Would you be really mad at me if I poured this all over your boobs?“ alkfnenfmefnkgjh Mijoo is my queen

“try her ass instead” JK you absolute moron genius

“Mijoo as been trying to get you laid since freshman” I looove how this just sounds so random and plays into the cliché of the extroverted BFF trying to drag OC to parties and get her laid but with OC’s backstory // Jin it makes SO much more sense

“I won’t feed you lies” he, said, you know, like a liar.

“Your worth as a woman isn’t defined by your purity or whatever bullshit” love the hint at the later reveal that JK is, indeed, a woke king. We stan

“But unfortunately, you aren't the altruistic saint you wish you could be. You suffer from the same human emotions that plague everyone. And they aren't pretty.Despite what the artists and poets claim, the world works in a logical way. It's a simple mathematical formula. Girls like Mijoo end up with their princes. And you remain a bitter stepsister, helpless but to watch their happily ever after from a distance. One that you'll never achieve.” God that part.... 

“Here is a man who actually wants you. Not you, but your body, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone might actually desire you…  ... He feels so thick inside of you that for a moment, the hole in your chest is filled”  This is what I mean when I say that the smut in this story makes SENSE

“You wish you could cling onto this feeling forever so you'll never feel empty again.” The way this scene is supposed to be all smut sexy time but it is actually one of the most emotionally packaged and heart wrenching scene, really I can’t with your writing </333 

“He grins at that, "I thought you knew me better than to take anything I said seriously?“Jk you manipulative mf I hate your fuckboi ass

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're a cuddler," you grumble as you twist in his embrace. "I'm not," he denies, but the way he buries his nose in your hair says otherwise, "And don't think about asking me to stay the night, because I'm not that kind of guy." The dynamic of the entire duo summed up in one paragraph

Chapter 2 :

The moment she reassures Mijoo and see what she is missing is :((

I remember than the first time I read new rules and feminist JK came clean I was honestly shocked (years of being guarded around men’s misoginy and fake feminism I guess) but re-reading it, it’s so nice to see the hints everywhere that he genuinely is and it warms my heart.

The convo JK and OC have about relationships and meaningless sex is not only such a good foreshadowing of the problems they will face later when it comes to coming clean about both their feelings (looking at you JK you moron) but also such a relatable feeling of ‘I know I said men are trash but I’m still vaguely heterosexual and would really like to believe that some aren’t and I know it sounds like I’m reassuring myself and honestly I am because it’s starting to become hard to really believe that’

The twits oh god the TWIST!!! The heartbreak it gave me, I was going to put some sentences in the highlights but honestly I almost ended up putting the entire scene so I gave in but it’s just so well written and nerve wracking to see what could have been and to realize that the friend that OC has been putting so much effort into helping betrayed her.  Like, I can emphasis enough how much I cried reading this, considering I have been in a very similar situation, and that’s probably why this struck a chord so powerfully but wow. 

The blowjob scene is simply another brilliant double meaning smut scene, the way OC is trying to regain control over something, someone, even if it’s not the one she wants, the way she makes him beg to hear compliments, heartbreaking (I know I’ve said this word like a million time and we’re just on chapter 2 but your writing really is something else) 

The scene where she confronts Mijoo is in my opinion one of the BEST I have ever read, the way you can feel her heartbreak and her powerlessness but also the maturity she exudes, the way she tries to be the bigger person and do what’s right, lord I see myself here and it fucking hurts.

“He really likes you, Mijoo. Don’t let him slip away… You’ll only regret it.”  The double meaning that applies to OC here is killing me  

“On any other day, this is the kind of party you would protest, running around with a half dozen other of your feminist friends as you collect signatures for a boycott.” <3

“Wait… what makes you think that we’re supposed to be the hoes?”  <3 <3

“Yeah. You really do.” Jk sometimes I really like you 

“No, sweetheart. You’re the childish one for not being able to accept grown up emotions. Why is falling in love and caring for someone outside of their physical appearance so shameful to you? You need to grow the fuck up and realize that feeling for another human being does not make you weak.”<3 <3 <3

“Frat brothers are despicable…except this one, of course.” Absolutely love how first reading makes it sound like her crush is speaking and second reading shows her idealization of him here 

“You swallow the lump in your throat. It would be one thing to see them wildly making out or grinding in the mosh pit like all the other horny kids. But to see them so enveloped in each other, content to just hug for the rest of the night… It hurts you more than you can express. You’d rather walk in on them fucking. This display of the purest affection… No one has ever held you like that before.You’re jealous. It’s shameful how horrendously jealous you are.”</3

“You need me?” you repeat in a small voice.” OC baby I get you I love you and you deserve th world ;(( </3

“You feel like such a villain, grilling this angel and making her upset. It’s such an irritating feeling, but you can’t choke it back.“It’s not like I liked him anyways…” Lord what have you done to my heart and I think it’s my favorite sentence in the entire story !

Chapter 3 :

OC protecting and looking out for Yerin is just so adorable I CAN’T

The discussion with Hyejin, the foreshadowing!!!!!!!

The way OC is self-aware and thinks JK only wants her body (and at the time it was highly likely) just makes the scene that much more heartbreaking, which makes me realize that all the smut scene up until now have been that way. 

The entire chapter feels like a BIG call out to me thanks for that I guess. (I’m kidding it was wonderful and actually got me reflecting a lot on my habits and self deprecation)

“the ugly cage around your heart loosen a bit”

“Wow, your fungal cream is so nice. I hope you get that infection checked out." We love a considerate and caring man

“You would take this over the hollowness in your chest. You would gladly take the meaningless sex, the hard pounding of your pussy without a single gesture of affection. Who needs an emotional connection when you can have the pain beat out of you? Who needs someone to like you when you have someone to use you?”  No words.

Chapter 4 :

I don’t know if I said that already but I just looooove the way you sprinkle hints here and here about everything ! Foreshadowing events and future revelations it’s just so nice to read and makes second (and third, and fourth) reading sooooo much more entraining and satisfying <3333. Like Oc and Mijoo are drunk and we get a snip at what happened freshman year, there were other hints previously but this just makes the reader WANT to know what the f* went down. And it makes up for Mijoo betrayal, it’s a nice way of explaining why OC « brushed » over her betrayal, we know that she was there in such a hard time for OC and yes it really builds the suspense around that whilst portraying Mijoo as more than the fake BFF who betrayed, I love that.

I love the way you use the word ‘ugly’ and how it’s very often associated with jealousy.

I want to address how much I adore your side characters and sub-plots. Like all of them are so likable (even Somin) and feel like genuine people with their own complex thoughts, seriously your characterization is out of this world! (special shout-out to Yoongi who is spot-ON imo). Like, I want to hangout with these people and be their friends. 

ALso I feel like we are really starting to see Jk and OC’s chemistry (unrelated to being evil little matchmaker) and it’s SOOOOOO good, it feels so natural and seeing them slowly slide into a romantic relationship (don’t tell Jk) seems like the most  natural thing (+ everyone thinking they are actually together and honestly they are)

"Hey so you like kick around a ball or whatever?" I love your humor I genuinely laughed at this 

"Balls?" he says pointedly.” Same here

"Who are you talking about?" Jungkook asks in confusion, "I don't have a—ah you mean ___?" You sure didn’t think for long jk 👀👀and you didn’t even deny it 👀👀👀and you came as soon as being asked 👀👀👀👀👀👀sus 

"Beats me," he whispers back, "I didn't even know we had a soccer team until this week!"LMAOOOOOOOOO

Chapter 5 :

The foreshadowing with Bang telling JK he is worried about his performance !! That’s why I love this fic so much! EVERYTHING is here, nothing happens out of the blue, you just have to pay attention to things to see things coming and not in a predictable but rather gratifying way.

The scene where OC hugs JK ? a masterpiece. I don’t know what more to say about it, it’s one of those things that touch on such a level that deconstructing it feels impossible and would break the spell, the intimacy I felt between the two of them and the stark contrast with Hyejin are perfect to characterize their relationship. Feels natural behind closed doors but lacking the words to clarify what they are, especially when faced with other people, and themselves. I L O V E it.

“you watch Taehyung roll around in the grass with his high-tech camera” don’t know why this is so funny to me but it is 

"Are we not speaking the same language right now?!" Jungkook barks into the receiver, "Are you fucking high?" The fact that he barks it makes it even funnier

Chapter 6 :

Oc’s conversation with Taehyung about hookup culture (and her behavior at large) just SCREAM ‘I have had such a terrible experience with love before that I cannot even begin to think about letting it happen again otherwise I will never love again’ and it HURTS. But! The way she approaches things with such maturity and is so in touch with her feelings is simply admirable. 

When OC is caught between Hoseok and JK at the party !!! It’s so frustrating but in the best  way possible because they got soooo close to actually talking things out clearly and making things better but their pride and whatever got in the way and we know it! JK and Oc I love y’all but also you’re so stupid. (Also it’s exactly what I was talking about in my ‘misunderstanding each others’ part. I feel like this is during this chapter that they really start to fuck up the communication because that’s the chapter where it becomes abundantly clear that feeeeelings are starting to get into the mix, they both try to distract themselves (unconsciously or not) with someone else, HYejin and Hoseok, and miserably fails. 

Also the domesticity!! That’s cute and fluffy and I’m blushing like I’m 12 year old again. 

“You’re right, » he says « I have to get more creative” I have said that Taehyung is hands down the funniest character here ?

"I want someone to choose me," you admit in a small voice, "I want someone to fall for my personality—to love me because of my hot temper and annoying disobedience, not in spite of it. I want this person to be surrounded by prettier, nicer, sweeter girls, but still seek me out… I'd rather them fall for my personality first, then settle for superficial traits like my lacking appearance… Is that really too much to ask?" Once again, thanks for calling me out also I’m crying this is one of the best paragraphs you have written

“He's like a character from a 1950's romance novel stepped off the page” Oc sweetheart remember something else about the 50’s 👀👀 Like ... the sexism ?

“The moon is high in the sky at this point of night, not shrouded by dark clouds for once, and illuminating the entire rooftop with its luminous silvery gleam. But for some reason, it seems like all the moonlight concentrates into a single beam on Hoseok, surrounding him in a brilliant white halo. You swallow tightly and drop your gaze as though burned.” The imagery here is beautiful and I like that you associated him with the moon when he is usually the sun 

"Oh, honey… You don't have to pretend to be strong in front of me." And there goes my heart.

"Did you think I was going to let her sleep on the streets or something?" is his sarcastic reply.You roll your eyes, "Thanks, Yoongi." We love character development (their friendship is so endearingly funny)

"Right… But um… what happened after the game on Saturday… uh…" A blush suddenly suffuses his cheeks, coloring his skin a lovely shade of rose, "I… I just wanted to—""Ah, that's right. There's another game next week," you hastily steer the conversation away, terrified by what he might say. "Don't worry, I'll be there too. I really need to start writing this article.""Oh, right… That's exactly what I was going to say," he says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.” I want to slap some sense in these idiots’ heads 

"Yeah, but the problem is that I don’t want to." I am S C R E E C H I N G

Chapter 7 :

The scene where they wake up together and he smiles and calls her pretty and the misunderstanding scene makes me want to slap them you belated idiots

SO MUCH things happen in this chapter and I think it’s one of my favorite!! I have to say that the scene where OC protests against the date auction and faces the resistance of her sorority hit close to home. It’s always so heartbreaking to see fellow girls complying to sexism. 

Also also, feminist JK keeps me up at night. Fuck yeah. (You know the lisa simpson meme with the orange juice, that’s me with feminist JK, give me MORE of that. 

Also, her performance : I C O N I C

"You're just exclusive fuck buddies… Even though you don't do casual sex and Jungkook doesn't do exclusive. It totally doesn't feel like you're hiding your feelings." My thought exactly Mijoo

“Staying so guarded might protect you from pain… But it'll also protect you from any happiness." *Slow clapping*

“Why would you go for someone who doesn't see your worth? You deserve to be with someone picks you out in a sea of people. Who likes you the best." 👀👀👀

"…Do not resuscitate… Got it," you solemnly note.” You’re so funnyykekzldk

“You aggressively bid from backstage, even as Taehyung motions for you to get lost” I laughed out loud at this

« sold » HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIfhehfqenfoneqlfnqdkfncqefnlmzfkbnrdbfksvm kjnefkenfe hAAAAH ????!!! flefnekf HIIII ç!!!!ç!uj

Chapter 8 :

I’m sorry there is not much commentary about this one but I can for the life of me read it with a critical eye since I’m too caught up in the suspense and the fact that a million things are happening, the only thing I can think about is that your fiction, although it is a college AU is so versatile and you touch on so many other genre (here : sport) and manage to successfully make every single one enthralling and further your plot!

“Maybe if I had lost, you would've hugged me again." HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJZKELMLDIZPEKDLEBDLLDKKEJ 

"Please, ___. Please don't go."But sheer panic flashes in his eyes when you attempt to shake him loose. "Don't leave me," he croaks out in desperation, "Please, ___. Don't leave me…"Not like she did." Don’t think I’m not seeing what you’re doing here 👀👀

Chapter 9 :

I feel high-key stupid because that’s like the 6th time I read New rules but I just realized that there might be a parallel going on between Jk and OC’s story, it’s obvious with the hints that you’ve sprinkled that something bad happened with JK’s past girlfriend but it’s just now re-reading Oc’s backstory with Jin that I realize that JK might have been in the ‘fucking around to get back/over his ex’ stage of his breakup like OC in the summer Freshman year, which led to him having his fuckboy reputation despite not ‘really’ being one (i.e. him saying that he hates hookup culture when Oc talks about her story)

Also, empathetic, feminist and understanding men make me w*t. 

"Yes," he says, a smile tugging at his lips, "Yes, you did." I sEE YOU 

"I don't know what goes through that fantastical imagination of yours” This might be my favorite line ever

“But you don't move one inch. Because you know Jungkook better than that.” Aaaawwwwwwww

Chapter 10 :

This is some greek tragedy shit right here. Mijoo trying to push OC and Jk because she feels guilty about JImin (she way you write it makes it seem so believable but I can’t decide if it’s true or not because we are seeing Oc’s perspective here and she knows she actually crushed on Jimin while Mijoo doesn’t, which would be a huge factor in her pushing OC towards JK) and also because she is the only one with a brain? Oc refusing to believe it and opposing semi-logical semi-bullshit arguments to convince Mijoo and even more herself that this isn’t happening because she heard JK talking to Hyejin ? Jk saying that because he’s an insecure asshole (and also very probably because of his ex girlfriend wink wink) whilst acting like the most belated man, ever ? Na a TRAGEDY!!!!!

Also, the entire speech that Mijoo gives, everything she says ???? A punch to the GUTS! ! ! 

THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY CONSTANTLY THINK THE WRONG THING I WANT TO TIE THEM TO A CHAIR AND FORCE THEM TO ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (in a oh god HOW are they going to fix this and finally come to an understanding of each other kind of way)

He finally breathes when she says his name I’m :(((((((((

“it wasn’t fun” Love how this simple line implies that Mijoo and Jimin have problems and arguments of their own and makes them feel like human beings who have a life outside of the story.

“Or was your image of him so perfect and unrealistic that you couldn't tolerate these humanizing details?" Ouch!

"You're only pushing Jungkook on me to ease your guilt for stealing Jimin away from me!" I don’t have the words to explain the way I felt when I first read this line except : oh fuck. Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps.

"I like him," you abruptly confess, your soft voice breaking through the tense silence the same way the brilliant meteors abruptly burst across the darkness of night. "I like him so much." Masterpiece 

“It's equally horrifying and an absolute relief to finally admit this deeply harbored secret after so long. After all these months of repression, it feels like a dam has burst with the way your emotions come tumbling out, threatening to choke you and sweep you underwater.” I said MASTERPIECE ! !

“Mijoo," you gasp, "What do I do?" Im crying. This isn’t a figure of speech. This isn’t an exaggeration. I’m crying. This entire scene is so powerful 

“You know your role. You're just the side character—the best friend or comic relief. You have no right to even dream about a life by Jungkook's side—much less to feel this amount of pain and jealousy seeing him with another girl” .... talk about being relatable 

“The loud electronic beat is pulsing through your veins with the same painful intensity of the tequila beating against the soft tissue of your brain. You feel like you’re being consumed by the powerful sensations… and yet, it's not enough to protect you from the helpless thoughts drifting across your mind, no matter how much you try to ward them back.” You really shine when it comes to making me cry 

"Can't you just let me be petty and sulk for once?" Baby :(

“How could you have misinterpreted the situation so horrifically?” Well we have this saying in French that goes : love makes you fucking blind 

“At this point of night, the moon has fully risen overhead, and its silvery rays cast down across the ocean, illuminating everything in white-gold. Awed, you can't help admiring the way the moonbeams kiss the top of Jungkook's black hair and the angles of his face, sheathing his figure like a cold halo.The waves continue to beat against the sandy beach like clockwork, and you  sway with them, as though lost in a rhythmic dance lulled by the force of the moon. Your thundering pulse acts as a metronome in this dance, pounding away at a dozen beats per each drag across the shore. You are cold. So cold that you've lost all feeling in your hands and legs. But for some reason, you don't feel the need to shiver anymore.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Could it have possibly been a defense mechanism? Was he just trying to protect himself in advance?” We are making PROGRESS

"Why is everything about sex with you?" HE SAID! AS IF HE WANS’T ABOUT TO DO WHAT HE IS AVOUT TO DO AND MAKE IT ABOUT SEX I HATE THIS MF

Chapter 11 :

My heart is non existent.The way Oc swallows her feelings to protect Yerin and stands up for her ❤️

I want to thank you for introducing a gay character in your story also Yoongi is one of the most interesting character in the story.

The way everything is slowly coming to a conclusion and every piece of the puzzle settles in the right place is so damn satisfying UGH

The scene where OC confronts Jk is so fucking satisfying, a masterpiece, 10/10, everything I wanted to hear come out of her mouth, my girl knows what’s up and won’t let this fucker get away with it.

"I've told you since day one that I'm not that kind of guy. God, can you even imagine me in a relationship?" he says with a derisive snort that feels like a punch to your stomach, "Did you honestly think that you could trap me into one with sex, ___? Or with a kiss? Come on. Get real." Your insecurities are showing asshole

"I hope you get over this soon, ___," he tells you in a sincere tone, "So we can get back to the way things were." Fight me in a parking lot salopard de merde

“Well, at least you've learned your lesson now.” I had to take a pause after this part 

"What if they were my parents?" he asks in a quiet voice, "My siblings? My community back home? The people I love most in this world? What would you have me do then?" As a closeted bisexual this one hit close to home

“But Yoongi turns to you with an incredulous look, "You can't be serious. Anyone with eyes could tell that Kook is completely whipped for you. Where is this coming from?” Yoongi is my man 

"You're a fucking coward." My thoughts exactly

Chapter 12 :

Getting through this chapter without crying is genuinely hard..All the girls standing up for themselves and not taking shit for the shitty men in their lives ???? YES PLEAse. And thank you for not only that but also including the girls that the story pushed us not to like that much up until now like Hyejin and Somin when really they were going through the same things as the holy trinity of best girls OC, Mijoo and Yerin. 

I have… mixed feelings and I feel like these feelings are exactly what OC has been feeling all along with the conflict between her beliefs and her heart. I wanted them to go through this and by being « willing » JK would have eventually just realized everything and stuff  because I love romance and shit. But I also want OC to get what she deserves, and it’s not that. I want them to have this happy ever after end but I feel like we won’t get that before long because as Hyejin pointed out, JK clearly needs to grow the fuck up.

"Oh, ___," she sighs your name.” Don’t mind me I’ll be crying over there 

“For a split second, you consider feigning ignorance. It would be so damn easy to laugh along with him and continue living this lie of being the cool, sporty tomboy who doesn't care about stupid "girly" things. After all, Hoseok isn't a bad guy. He's so handsome, popular, and kind. And he likes you. Someone actually likes you. Isn't that better than being alone? For a split second, you're tempted to grab his hand and flash him an award-winning smile. For a split second, you contemplate giving up all your morals and living a life of comfort with this lovely, charismatic man.” I love you so much for writing this

"Sexist?" he repeats in horror, "The fuck are you talking about?! I'm no sexist!" You’ve perfectly channeled the  and OC’s entire speech to him should be taught in school 

"We're just in different places right now," you inform him in a small voice, "It'll never work out, so please don't make this harder than it needs to be." I’m dying but also proud, producing

"I think I'll channel Somin and cut the toxicity out of my life." Attagirl 

To wrap up this overly long review, I want to say thank you to Tayegi for writing this piece and feeling generous enough to share it with us, reading this story and seeing the plot unravel, characters be introduced and developed was a true privilege. I rarely connect with the « reader » in reader fics and just say a random name in my head (or even 'your name ») but here, here… Never have I been so close to actually feeling like I’m the one in the fiction, not for the romance but for the way she is portrayed, for her ideas and how hard it is to stand by them sometimes, for her past and traumas. New rules is a masterpiece, and the fact that I connected to it on such a personal level, which, arguably could cloud my judgement, doesn’t make it any less.

#BTS jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jungkook #jk #bts fanfic #fanfic review #New rules #god I finally finished this #I feel strangely nostalgic because I read this ff when I was in a really bad place and it resonated with me on so many levels #like it brought me comfort and to finish this feels like closure even though it's not even finished #it's like finishing harry potter all over again gosh #please read it :((( #I never see Tayegi and her amazing work in people pic recs and like recommandations it makes so sad she is the most talented person #I have been a silent reader for too long it was my way of compensating for that #Tayegi if you're reading this tags don't stress over updating this isn't about making you post faster this is me thanking you

[virusdotsneeze]

The Professor’s Sneeze Rag (Snzfic)

I’ve had this idea in my head for some time. I didn’t know if I wanted to draw it or write it. So, this is a Fi//re Em//blem: Th//ree Ho//uses fic. Basically in this fic, Edel has the hots for the professor, who’s hella sick, and they’re using a real crappy rag to sneeze into and stuff. And it’s bothering her, and stuff. She doesn’t have the kink, it’s just...weird. Idk. Also I suck at titles.

Quick thing, much like in this fic by @sfanimeakahana (Is it OK to do that? M’bad if it’s botherin’ ya!) I wrote the main character to where it could apply to both genders. Just cuz. I thought it was neat. I didn’t do that in my last fic...cuz it’s my ship and shit...so ye.

Click Show More/keep reading/whatever it is to read the thing. Call me out on my hella crappy writing if that’s the case, so I don’t embarrass myself anymore, pls.

The cold winter air of the early Ethereal Moon blew throughout the land of Fodlan. The cold air from the mountains near Garreg Mach Monastery drifted down onto the grounds of the campus. Students and professors donned their best winter attire as they wandered the halls and kept as warm as they could within their dorms and their classes. Try as some might, however, some had fallen victim to the cold. In the Black Eagle class, taught by Byleth Eisner, students sat in their seats, listening to their professor lecture about newer, more advanced battle strategies and tactics.

 “Hih’tchu!”, the professor sneezed into a heavily used handkerchief. If one could call it that. It was more of a worn rag that they carried around with them. They rubbed their raw nose with it and continued lecturing.

The house leader of the Black Eagles, Edelgard Von Hresvelg, sat in the front row of tables, and listened diligently to everything the professor was saying, including their constant sniffling and sneezing. While Edelgard was a very studious woman, a bit more on the stern side of the spectrum, she was very attentive to the clear suffering that her professor was going through. She sniffled, herself, as the air from outside had gotten to her a bit on her way to the room-- much like several of her other classmates-- however, she and none of the others were nearly as bad as the professor was having it.

She felt it was a bit interesting. For the past several moons, she had seen her professor be so strong, so reserved, so confident, yet here they are, practically crumpling before their students, in a sniffling, dripping mess. It was so unnatural to her, seeing their professor like this. ‘What do the others think of this? It’s so...unusual. Is the professor really going to keep teaching in this state?’ Edelgard thought to herself.

“Hih’tchu! Atch’chu!”, sneezed the professor, almost forgetting to cover with their handkerchief. 

‘That thing isn’t going to last them much longer. Should I lend them mine? Should I ask them if they’re doing well? Not now. Not while they’re lecturing. Although…’, Edelgard continued to think to herself. No one else was really saying anything. There were a couple of throat grunts, and some sniffles and coughs, but no one really paid any mind to what was going on. 

Byleth sniffed heavily, trying their best to not allow the mucus to drip to their upper lip. They continued to dab their nose away with their sodden handkerchief as the lecture continued on. Time felt as if it was going faster when they weren’t sneezing, but the sudden stops in the lecture felt as if everything was coming to a halt and slowing down, and whenever it happened, Edelgard felt heat rising in her chest as she felt that she had to do something.

“Hih...h-hi’tchuh! Hiih...H-Hieh’chih!!” the professor sneezed, the wet sound emanating from their rag of a handkerchief.

“Blessings, professor.” spoke Edelgard without hesitation this time.

Byleth turned to her, rubbing their nose, raised their hand a bit, not to silence but in a sort of acceptance, and nodded. The lecture continued.

Edelgard felt a bit of the burning in her chest leave, although as she saw Byleth continue to use that rag of a handkerchief, the heat came back. She felt she needed to do something more. It all just felt wrong to see her professor like this. Edelgard’s mind was both trying to focus on the lecture, but she couldn’t focus while seeing her professor like that. Edelgard sniffled, still debating on what she should do, if anything. Turning her attention back as to what was happening in the lecture, Byleth was discussing something regarding the positioning of a sword weilder’s hand when they suddenly stopped again.

“Gh-hiegh--hi’tchmph! Hih’chrmph! Hiih’tch--tchrmph!!” they sneezed violently into their handkerchief, visible with a new sort of dampness. 

They leaned a bit against their podium, rubbing their raw nose. A bit of visible drippage reared its head as they pulled their handkerchief away, only to quickly put it back to their nose to keep rubbing.

It was at this point that the swelling heat in Edelgard’s chest was at its highest point. If she didn’t do anything now, it was going to linger in her head until the goddess knows how long. She raised her hand a bit, “Excuse me, professor?”

Byleth turned to the young woman, their handkerchief--their sodden rag-- still pressed to their raw, reddened nose. Edelgard took out a white, soft cloth handkerchief folded into a square, and extended it out to the professor. 

“Excuse me for interrupting, but... here.” she said, not in her usual confident tone. She could feel herself getting a bit flustered. She didn’t really plan out what she wanted to say. Byleth, still covering their nose, walked towards her and gratefully took the handkerchief. They put the rag in their coat pocket, and quietly thanked Edelgard. They went back to the podium and continued with the lecture, the professor using the new handkerchief from that point onward. 

Edelgard was able to focus more on the actual lecture rather than what was going on with the professor. She was glad she was able to help, as well as rather foolish for making such a big ordeal of the situation in her head. Interesting enough, when Byleth had gone to take the handkerchief from her, she noticed a certain look in their eyes that they don’t usually show.

Considering the professor was never the best at emoting, it certainly seemed much more noticeable at that instant when they saw the white fabric in her hand. Almost as if they were waiting, hoping, for someone to do what Edelgard did.

#sick fic #snz fic #sneeze kink #snz kink

[mwagneto]

yo!! out of genuine curiosity, why didn’t you like the penumbra podcast? :o

ahhh lotta reasons tbh if you like it don't read this isn't meant to convince anyone or anything this is just my personal opinion and my own list of reasons as to why but again it's NOT meant to influence anyone it's just what I personally thought of it/////////////

so uh I already don't like the setting coz I don't really like futuristic stuff?? it makes me feel small and insignificant and weird and whatever djfndnf but also the fact that it's SO fucking far into the future....like you cant even begin to try and theorise about what life will be like in 9000 years so I really feel like they overshot it with putting it that far....

I'm gonna excuse everyone speaking English by saying it's translated or everyone's equipped with like a universal translator or whatever but what I Cannot excuse is the complete disregard of evolution?? like there's No fucking way humans would still only be 5-6 feet tall on average in 9000 fucking years when the average height increases significantly even when you only look at the past 100 years,,,, not to mention there being distinguishable races also seems??? to me???? like come ON there wouldn't be any white or black ppl left I'm pretty sure everyone would just be a mix of all sorts of races,,, and in that vein blue or green eyes are also out of the question I highly doubt anyone would have them or if anyone did it'd be SUPER fucking rare so yeah as a biology nerd this kinda bothered me ig?????

but what I disliked MOST about it was the voice acting oh my GOD i have really sensitive ears and the voices get So shrill at points that it made me flinch and almost everyone overacts and it just makes for an overall bad listening experience?? I like that they have narration coz it helps me picture things better but jesus CHRIST some of the voices (especially Rita's) are just. Unbearable ,,,

also the nonbinary rep is somewhat,,, questionable ig??? I'm not even gonna go near whatever Juno has but the way the only other nonbinary character was an insane villain who then died. uh. (also I found the whole. "they build up a character as about to come out as mtf but then the whole joke is that she just got a haircut and changed her name (and yes she went from male to female but noone cares)" joke very like?? in bad taste?? or just cringy????? idk but it rubbed me the wrong way)

anyway I wouldn't even post this coz they're doing this for free and it's a passion project and far be it from me to try and change anyone's mind or make ppl dislike it or whatever like I'm not looking to debate any of this it's just my opinion and again I wouldn't've even posted it had anon not asked about it but yeah this is basically why I didn't like it, there were a lot of good things in it and I still listened to the entire thing but overall I'm just not a big fan

#i got mail! #srsly dont take this personally #this is just why i didnt like it please dont. get mad or smtg #i dont want this in the tags #fuck #shit #there are some tags tumblr blocks so your post only appears on your blog #hopefully these are enough fkjgfmdn