#idk they get a pass from me at least

[skrunksthatwunk]

i like the owl house a good bit but i wish they'd take raine out of nonbinary gay baby jail

#please you have like one nonbinary character of significance #theyve spent a massive amount of their screentime either under mind control or pretending to be under mind control #and i want to get to know them better bc they seem very cool #i am tantalus and raine is the fruit i cannot reach and the water that dodges me when i wanna take a little sippy #im not mad at the showrunners or anything and i appreciate raine's presence #theyre clever and charming and A LOVE INTEREST (which i dont think ive ever seen???) #(between raine and masha the stance seems to be that nb people are desirable and cool and theyre so right for it) #and i think toh avoids the inhuman enby trope (in that there is human rep...ish... and most of the characters are inhuman) #idk they get a pass from me at least #but much like spop's double trouble theyre not really allowed to be themself for an unusually large amount of their screentime #though at least dt had like. constant 'teehee im so evil' one liners punctuating their girlmoding era #yeah dt falls into a lotta iffy nb tropes. i also don't blame the spop staff for that #i dont love making my point via comparison but these are literally the only two animated nb characters i can think of #bawling punching the earth about lake infinity train not being canonically nb but also being the most significant genderqueer rep for me #other than like. goromi. theyre tied <3 #anyway my point with this post is not 'i think toh staff shouldve just tried harder or i hate them or whatever' #but more 'i am sad that our rep is still so limited even as they are pioneering and i wish raine had more screentime bc i like them' #and also 'if i had a nickel' about the limited agency/performative elements of the 2 nb characters ever #and also having your only trans characters playing the long con has like. implications a bit #but yeah #also im p sure spop had twitter confirmations of other characters being genderqueer but i dont tend to count postcanon much bc like. #it's not in there lol #anyway shows i think of as generally v progressive but that still don't escape nb tropes and limitations #you know what's better than one they/them'd character? two they/them'd characters #one day we're gonna get characters with multiple sets of pronouns and i can die happy #dt doesnt count for this bc the characters who know theyre not flutterina use they/them even when they're in flutterina mode. #twas a bit and nothing more #anyway belos is yucky disgusting and i hope raine gets exorcised soon

[lunarharp]

shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc

#witch hat tag #orufrey #the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do #someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world . #it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing #oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives #agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl #pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you.. #and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun. #i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least.. #the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!! #the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way.... #btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats #coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined #travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc. #i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol #but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv #and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me #well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed* #obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on

[broken-clover]

It's eternally a little funny whenever I see someone say something along the lines of 'everyone in Strive is so happy now! Everyone's stories are getting resolved! It'll be hard to make a new game when everyone's retired and living peacefully and resolved their problems' and then there's a haunted semi-sentient mecha corpse in the corner constantly screaming from being trapped in limbo

#nothing against the character reworking it's just funny in a fucked up way #everyone get a happy ending!* #*(except for you Romeo) #when I go back and rewatch Xrd vs Strive it's kinda jarring since you have a whole fleshed out character and now he's just kinda conceptual #like sure obviously he's dead but he himself is just sorta mentioned in passing by a couple of people #they didn't even go with the interpretation of 'oh his spirit passed on in AS/story mode' #and based on the character theme it really just reads as 'I'm trapped in neverending hell and my sister's presence is the only distraction' #half the cast is retiring and Romeo is reenacting I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream #idk I could be overthinking it but that whole segment of plotline bugs me in the weirdest way #wish it was more conclusive. wish it had more continuity from xrd. wish more than like two people in universe acknowledged it #how it's presented and how it's treated feels like it has a schism where things don't quite match up #bleh. at the very least there could have been a special intro with Axl #the ending of arcade mode is so abrupt it's almost a little silly #'ahh okay your brother's ghost/a lingering fragment of his soul is desperate to kill himself let's not touch on that much further' #maybe it'd be better if everyone had outtro dialogue like in xrd...? #guilty gear #bedman #delilah #op back on her bullshit

[silenthillbunni]

🏥🦷

#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt #last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep #i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit #so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first #but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts :// #idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly #nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol #but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account #anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain #idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may #or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt.. #i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not #if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw.... #nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's #dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭 #idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit #i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol #ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor #my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont #nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know..... #oh if only things were easy

[itspileofgoodthings]

so funny because my emotions are a strength of mine (also their strength in particular is a strength) but they’re also a huuuuge weakness and downside and pitfall as well, and not just because they make me suffer. they also just, like, get in the way of so many good things.

#they’re part of my eloquence/persuasive powers! #such as they are #and people respond to the passion! but I actually think they get in my way more often than not #and just make my points so much less valid and interesting #when I can look back at a thing from the vantage of emotional hindsight and talk about it quickly and simply and analytically #when I’m not actively WRESTLING with something I feel like I do my best work #but idk. maybe that’s just how it feels from the inside and isn’t actually so #nah it is so. at least with negative emotions. I am only off-putting and annoying and disagreeable when I’m speaking on a thing negatively #and even positively sometimes that first flush of emotion that’s carrying me along has to die before I can really speak honestly #like me speaking on Jonathan byers with SOOO much overflowing emotion and warmth and love #akksksjdjejejejejejjejeje #but there was stuff I was missing and wouldn’t look at!!! #it was all conviction and warmth but then I was wrong #TLDR: I think I’m most persuasive when the emotion has passed or at least is not immediately present and I’m speaking about things #more rationally #Because I like to think my rationality is still not cold! It’s very alive but it isn’t so weighed down by emotions #It’s why I need to restrain myself from speaking bitterly (at least publicly) when I’m mad about stuff #i just say all the ugliest and in many ways LEAST true things about whatever I’m talking about #even as I’m reaching for clarity #again. Teaching helps with this. #time mellows the first waves of emotion appropriately. still giving my takes life but not overpowering the vision (hopefully) #but then idk. sometimes I have a take and many very very smart people hate it so much #so it’s just like #shrug emoji #Maybe I AM wrong #I can’t be the judge of my own takes turns out. Not really #but I guess I’m learning to have them anyway #if it’s organic and hits me like a wave of revelation #it’s always those takes people hate the MOST though aksjsjejejeje #again except for my students. because they don’t know to hate them so they just follow where I lead (mostly)

[captainshyguy]

the conflict between being immensely frustrated that pokemon dlc in general just seems to throw as many new characters at u as possible so they can keep being like 'look at this! look at this new thing! new content!' insted of actually expanding the themes and characters we actually give a shit about, and being relieved that because of those dumbass decsions, i never feel the urge to buy them

#like on one hand i feel jealus seeing people run around finding overworld shiny slugma/minior/araquanid etc #and in general exploring a new place #but like. i have my shiny living dex more or less done. so u cant pull me in with new shinies #especially since the gen 9 dlc shiny locked all the returnign legendaries like KJFSNSJGKJDG WHAT. WHAT ARE U DOING #at least with the swsh one that was the only thing that tempted me and probably would have convinced some peopel to buy it #but they didnt even try that herekndgkjndkjgsg #stingy bastards out here making u pay like £80 all together and u cant even get a shiny zacian? pass #if i can withold from buying the swsh one with shinies i actually need (solgaleo/the tapus) i can certainly withold from scvis one with non #like...sure. new pokemon are tempting. but i can just ask someone with the dlc to get them for me when i next get nintendo nline kjfndsjgkd #pokemon #idk man like. ur not gonna give me more content with arven and the gang? hard pass #maybe there's some but ive heard no one say anything so i doubt it #luke rambles

[toastsnaffler]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests... #theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!) #but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍 #anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^) #.vent #.diaries

[inverse-problem]

me online: wow robots that run on blood that’s so cool. whoa look at that art of that dude totally getting stabbed and stuff, neat

me offline: -sees some blood and has to go find a fainting couch-

#genuinely hoping that I get less squeamish over time from being in this fandom #I go all vasovagal at medical stuff irl and it’s very inconvenient #granted with blood tests I’m okay at least bc being on hrt got me used to those #but every time I have surgery and have wounds I have to not look at them while they heal or I start passing out lol #anyway idk just thinking about how funny this contradiction is for me #it’s funny bc it can be really bad sometimes #if someone narrates a story about injury in too much detail I have to go lie down sometimes #I managed dissection in high school biology class but had to sit with my head between my knees a bit #inverse problem.txt

[daz4i]

hate when i vent abt my pain and ppl tell me "everyone has stomach aches, it's normal" okay but are their pains bad enough to make them cry or unable to stand..... at least once a week...... bc i think that if this was normal society might've collapsed by now. but what do i know

#at least I'm on the way to get another test to see if it really is crohn's or not :') #my other tests came out negative but the last doctor i saw said it's worth checking again :') #bc. he claims. you're never gonna guess it. these pains are NOT normal ✨️ who could've thought! #sorry for the bitterness. as you may be able to infer from this i am in severe pain and having a hard time standing up or moving at all #btw through this doctor i went to i found out i actually had internal inflammation back in 2018 too and i was just. never told abt it. #like i was in the hospital and they ran a test but bc it was for smth else they didn't think to point it out?? #why do i have to learn 5 years later that i had smth wrong with me that probably got worse with time and that's why I'm like that now 😭😭😭 #(i wanna apply good faith to this. they probably thought it was a result of my other stomach issues so it'll pass once they do. #but like. if it really didn't go away and in fact got worse with time. i feel like i have the right to blame them yknow?) #vent #possibly a tmi one idk ajskflglh #sorry. i am very tired

[seilon]

got another job interview tomorrow. pray 4 me

#it was originally for a busser or server job at a cocktail bar in a luxury hotel but the manager on the phone seemed like she wanted to #interview me for the position of host so. yeah #I’m a little intimidated by that role because I am not the most social person on earth to say the least but. I may be able to get used to it #and I will admit. I am kind of motivated by the pay and tips from being a host. cause holy hell it’s 18 bucks an hour plus tips #and that’s plus tips at a 4 star hotel. where the menu is pretty pricy and the people coming there Well Off. #I didn’t really consider that before but hhhhhhh……………that sure is enticing #hoo boy but anyway. a little nervous about this interview cause I’ve never done a host or server job before #but my conversation with the manager over the phone seemed to go pretty well i think so hey #kibumblabs #oh yeah I also cut my hair short last minute and i can’t tell if that was a horrible idea or not yet #it’s not nearly as finished as I’d want it to be but. here we are I guess #I havent legit cut my own hair (let alone this Much of it) in like. a couple years now I think #I think it looks fine but I’m just hoping I don’t regret it #I know it’ll grow out again eventually but idk #I did this kinda impulsively because of the job interview tomorrow. like I was kinda worried for such a nice place they’d be a little #picky with their appearance preferences and like. I didn’t want it to look like my hair was overgrown and unstyled like it was + most of #the bleached parts are cut off now so it looks a little more sophisticated I guess #but also I’ve been getting a little dysphoric lately because I haven’t been passing despite being almost 2 years on t and I think my hair #being longish wasn’t helping #now you can see my jawline and the haircut is more traditionally masculine and etc so. praying I am not called ma’am or anything at the #store or whatever anymore.

[craycraybluejay]

still fuming over an argument i had months ago.. anouther chillllll its ok for other people to be incorrect, ok? its ok for them to randomly accuse you of a personality disorder and then publicly shit on you for being offended. its fine bro. old news.

#some ppl u will NOT seek out but would def get in a fistfight with if u happened to pass by each other again #sorry i be holding mad grudges #you do something mean once and i will be eternally hostile if you dont apologize and wary if you do #like idk yk its not right to let people think they can walk all over you and still be entitled to your civility and kindness #and some actions are so horrible you'll seek a fight to the death about it #and others youre like. meh. objectively this isnt as big a deal as other shit i went thru. would set ur car on fire if i walked past it tho #like IT DEPENDS! #sometimes ill just drop it if its w a friend and we 'made up' but a lot of times ppl dont rly apologize/try to change their cruel actions #so theres resentment even without the fight #or hearing someone talk about doing similar to what they did to me to someone else. i thought u were past that. whats wrong w u. #idk i distrust people who are nice to u in the moment but fully traumatize someone else who was kinda rude to them #bc what if *i* miss too many social cues? are u gonna try to get me arrested or sum? jfc #at least when i actively seek revenge its not for lil things like rudeness or even bigger things like purposeful insults #but yea most ppl i dislike i refrain from bothering. but if they bother me thats their mistake #if you throw the first punch i WILL always get the last. #but yea anyway fuck that person

[todayisafridaynight]

me and my sister went to the mall today and we ran into hot topic so fucking fast it was unbelievable. me and my sister are literal opposites when it comes to fashion. she picked pink, pastel shit like she was trying to be all uwu kawaii meanwhile im just standing here with my arms full of emo and goth shit, i legit felt like daigo and masato with all this emo drip i had walked out with. (p.s. they should put yakuza stuff in hot topic if they havent already because i have yet to have any yakuza related things in my room </3 also hot topic is like the only store i will shop at)

im so sorry to say these words to you but reading this reminded me of my immortal

#snap chats #I ALSO HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK THOUGH CAUSE I LITERALLY JUST GOT BACK FROM HOT TOPIC AND SPENCERSLKEAKVJA #rubbing off my fucking eyeliner as we speak im no better than a goffick and im sure the stuff you got was actually real fire and im jealous #i actually wore my hakuho pin out today- i pinned it on my back jean jacket. not to flex on you or anything 🥴 #i remember the day my college friend said something about me being goth and i looked like a dumbass saying 'im not goth...' #when all i ever did was wear black. and tbf i toned it down a LOT while i was at school. i wanted to be normal-passing 😭😭 #that aside i only went in to get jewelry and a new belt chain. also a kirby keychain and nail polish #but like it was that Blackheart brand so you know i just wanted it for the skull container and the name. also i was running out #my hot topic really doesnt have any clothes- or at least clothes i fuck with like its mostly skirts and puffy-sleeved shirts #and yeah those are epic and awesome but they're not my style yk. love it on other people just not on me #i usually get my clothes from like. express or skate shops. very different fashions as you can see LMAOOO #like today i got this really pretty crane shirt and then like. i got a black-and-white striped long sleeve with a skeleton hand patch LMAO #UGH im pissed i didnt get the red and black variant too but i didnt think bout it til i already left #i want to get new boots- the ones i have now are great and i love them but i want something chunkier #my 'goth' fashion is really lowkey honestly like i hardly consider myself goth cause of it- its very casual ig #ignore the fuck-you amount of rings i wear ok. theyre pretty..... also they have certain meanings sometimes #like i wear an owl ring cause it reminds me of my sis since she loved owls growing up and went to a uni with an owl mascot #i wear a dragon ring sometimes cause dragons remind me of my dad. for whatever reason. #idk its cause he tried to convince me i was born year of the dragon when i wasnt ?? idk funny guy lmao #and then i already said i wore snake stuff and crosses cause I Hate My Mom. also i was born a snake #also my dads a christian so :] i will wear two cross rings and a cross necklace tyvm love you pops i wish you were around more #uhhh did i want to say anything else. idk im just dumping about my emo bullshit thanks for reading ☠️☠️ #if this wasnt my yakuza blog id actually just show the haul i got today BUT i will spare you lot from my emo bullshit #ok ill kill the tags here now im SILLY

[raveartts]

simultaneously wanna redesign Alex to have a more overly complex sparkledog ravecore design vs wanting to redesign her to be simpler and quicker to draw ;_;

#rave.characters #nothing stopping me from making it even more complex and then just having a simple version of that #but also that's basically what i already do #and i literally JUST made a ref sheet i refuse to make another until at least 5 years have passed #but also i wanna change her physique #and i wanna give her HORNS #idk why i've never given her fucking horns she should get wings too #maybe just as an alt design but she deserves draconic features #she's my FURSONA and i chose a fucking FOX???? with zero dragon features #at one point it was fennec fox mixed with german shepherd traits #which at least made some sense #but c'mon #thank god i can make alt designs for days #i need to redesign her serial killer au design because it feels so...plain #it needs to be cooler but idk how to achieve that #the answer is gonna be dragon features isn't it

[orcelito]

Another morning another day

I've been thinking a lot about going to the animal shelter

#speculation nation #there r many cats there and i have an aching spot available for one #passively thinking about getting a kitten. just bc id enjoy getting to raise a cat for once #and i think tally would be a good big sister given how much she groomed cassy #at the same time tho i wanna adopt a cat that might not otherwise be adopted so quickly. aka an adult cat #& also like with tally. i very purposefully picked out the loud black cat bc everyone was passing her up #but she was YELLINGGG at me from the cage. and i was like 'oh alright' and took her home #and now shes my sweet darling girl. she just needed like a year to chill out so she is no longer a chaos demon lmao #it's also hard to know what youre getting with a kitten. and it's a lot of resposibility. so like. idk. #but also. Kitten Cute... 🥺 #i'll have to see what they have when i go there. still not happening for at least a few more days. #it feels too soon rn. but im thinking about this all to cope lol. i hate having only one cat. #i keep wanting to go out to greet Cat Number 2 in the living room. but. nope. so i go back to greet tally on my bed #she's a loving cat but she does Not like to be smothered. and im kind of smothering her lmao #that's another reason to get a 2nd cat. yes i want tally to have company when im gone at work #but also i need a second cat that is very affectionate bc I Want My Hugs And Kisses Dammit #idk when im getting his ashes back. probably somewhat soon. id estimate tomorrow? they were rly quick with sammy's #idk what im gonna do if they call while im at work lol. cry probably. #tho i havent cried in almost a full day!! been like 22 hours. i have been Trying to cope. mixed results. #ah well. c'est la vie and all that shit. #animal death ment/

[unusualshrimp]

hm i do not like how my brain works

#just came up with something horrible. ok so i was on wikipedia reading about mimicry in animals #and how animal A tries to look like animal B‚ and it can be of 2 types. either it wants to fool other animal B members #or it wants to fool a third animal C. like how some butterflies try to look like the monarch butterfly #so that birds that don't eat the monarch won't touch them either #and what struck me is like. the animal being fooled is really the only one that matters here. #monarch butterflies can tell who's who but they don't matter because its the *BIRDS* that need to be deceived #i can look at a wasp shaped flower and immediately go ''oh nice try. you are a flower'' but that doesn't matter because THE WASP IS FOOLED! #so now im. thinking. if there is a creature trying to mimic humans. then we're really all it needs to convince #like. it might be GLARINGLY obvious to your dog or cat or fuck‚ even your houseplants. and they might even try to tell you but they can't #so like. idk mb mosquitoes won't sit on them & gut bacteria won't grow in their gut & they never get lice & dogs don't try to please them #but that won't be noticeable because really all that matters is that they pass to humans. dna tests turn out fine they seem ok in autopsies #say yay! now i have to unplug my phone from the charger to sit with my back to the wall but. at least i have story ideas #um. #unreality

[mrfoox]

I'll probably never know if I actually don't want kids or if I'm just too scared about passing on bad genes and have them suffer and that's sad

#miranda talking shit #Idk i cant ever seperate it bc if i ever think id like to be a parent at some point i immediately think #About how big the chances are of me passing on my deppression/anxiety. Like i have asd and add and i think they cause a lot of problems #I still thinl my major anxiety and depression issues is my biggest concern. And the fact my mother have family history of bpd and #Schizofrenia and the unknown factor of my dads dad family history like mmm... #Bc i kinda wish i wasnt born in this world bc of my mental problems making it so hard. I dont think id ever forgive myself if #I had an child which had the same view as me bc of mental illness. Idk how high the chances are to pass on stuff like this #But like since i have so much to 'choose' from i feel like its at least 20%. And thats just with my gene pool #If the other parent also have mental health problems that would go up... #Yeah in my mid 20s and many of the girls in my age group is or have gotten kids and im like yea #Part of me would like to be a mom. Like id love the shit out of the kid and try to be the best parent i can #But i can never escape the real possibility of bringing a child into the world with same or similar mental issues i have #Im a guilt driven person and like that idea by itself makes me want to jump off a cliff lmao #So im uh... Maybe i want kids but i probably wont go through with it bc im terrified of the possilites #Idk how commkn it is to think aboht this. Any guy friend i have either really want kids or are like 'well yeah getting a wife and some kids #Is the plan i guess' and girl friends its either i dont want kids i hate them or the same 'yeah an husband and some kids is the plan' #If i ever did have a kid ill have to be with the most caring and calm guy lol. Otherwise id be too scared and deppressed about the #The idea of the worst happening. Its 3 am no idk why this is tonights subject but it is apparently