#idk if this is insight into my psyche but | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trans-axolotl · 4 months

Note

I'm a psych survivor & want to find community in general or join conversations on here but it seems like no one really cares what I have to say & a lot of the conversations on here about mad liberation etc. are so academic that I feel alienated & shut out by them, and afraid of being talked down to & made fun of, even though I was (barely) able to master's degree and thought I was fairly intelligent. it seems like the academics mainly want to talk amongst themselves. idk. it's like the more I try to connect the worse I feel. I guess you probably don't have an answer to this but I appreciate your blog & how accessible your writing is

💜💜💜anon i think you have SUCH an important point. for me, the most meaningful mad community that i've found has always been when I've been institutionalized and just talking with other mad people, where most of them don't have any experience with mad liberation politics or antipsychiatry or any of that vocabulary. But like--time and time again those are the people who just get it the most, and are some of the most insightful people I've met. And I know that if some of my psych survivor friends came on tumblr, I think they would be judged for not having the "right" language or not communicating clearly enough or whatever. Which makes me so fucking mad, especially considering how many of us are disabled in ways that impact our communication, processing, and language. and how to me, it feels like such an important value of mad liberation to celebrate different styles of communication and all the different ways we're going to show up and exist as mad people! I'm sorry that you haven't been able to find a lot of welcoming community on tumblr--I know how exhausting and isolating it feels to not be able to connect with the people that are Supposed to actually understand and support you.

and it's not that I hate academic stuff about madness--I'm currently at university studying disability studies and really appreciate disability scholars. I think it's super fucking important + there's a lot of really talented people doing cool work. But I think that especially in disability studies, there needs to be a LOT more of an effort put in to actually make research + writing accessible. If half our community can't access any of the writing about our community, that's fucked up, you know? I'm always getting into arguments at university lmao when I talk about how we should do more to translate academic work into plain language. especially since i think it's a form of injustice when we are kept away from resources and knowledge that would let us build a political understanding of our experiences. it just feels super important to me to think about accessibility and what that means in mad spaces and psych survivor spaces, and who feels welcome to participate in our spaces and who feels left out of them.

and i also don't really have answers or solutions for How to Make That Happen on Tumblr--if you or any followers have any suggestions i would def love to hear them. i know that a lot of people are going to come on tumblr to do a lot of different things and that some people see this mostly as an academic space for them, where some people just come on here to talk or create art or a million different things.

For me, I use tumblr as a space where I want to talk and connect with a lot of people about all kinds of topics and hear psych survivors opinions on a ton of stuff. a lot of my posts are pretty casual, but when i make longer educational and political posts i spend a lot of time thinking about the best ways to translate really academic concepts to a wider audience. when i sit down to write out a long post i try to incorporate as many accessibility features as possible like using bullet points, putting in summaries/ Tl;DR sections at ends of posts, adding in real life examples when I'm defining complicated technical concepts, adding content notes, and more. Before I post, I read through my posts and highlight every time I use a more academic or technical term. Then, I think through whether that vocab is necessary for people to understand the post, or if there's better language I could replace it with. A lot of times I do end up keeping in some technical terms in my posts because it is honestly the most direct way to explain some of the stuff I want to talk about, but it's been super valuable for me to go through and really think about it, even when some terms stay in my writing. that's just my process and what works for me and I really don't think that other people need to write the same way I do lmao, but if anyone ever wants to talk about writing in plain language & easy read PLEASE come into my inbox bc i love talking about this and want to chat about it with more people.

other things i'll say is that i've found that virtual/in person psych survivor/antipsych support groups are often times a lot more welcoming and accessible and are just like, people talking about things and hanging out together. I've heard really good things about Wildflower Alliance's support groups, and also recommend the Hearing Voices Network. Project LETS has been running an exceptional psychiatric survivor support group for almost a year that is more casual and is a really great community, I'm hoping that they're going to open up availability again in the spring so that might also be worth checking out in the next couple months. Campaign for Psych Abolition in the UK runs a mad art space that seems super fun. i wish there were a lot more existing groups cause it sucks how few things there are tbh.

anyway, know that you + anyone else are always welcome to chat in my inbox or on any of my posts and you will not face any judgement from me. i genuinely love talking to other psych survivors so much and want to hear what people have to say. the only people i get annoyed at on my posts are psych students and other mental health professionals who leave really bullshit stuff on there lmfao.

sending you all the solidarity, anon <3

#asks #psych survivor #surviving psych #psych abolition #mad liberation #accessibility #sorry for going on a tangent about plain language in the middle adsfjkhjkfsh i just like. am very passionate about plain language writing #and tumblr is one of the main places in my day to day life where i practice writing in plain language #i am not perfect at it but i really enjoy doing it and keep wanting to get better at it #also want to get better about writing in easy read. i'm not very good at that at all yet #ik that wasn't like directly related to your question tho so sorry!! i started getting excited about plain language #and then was like no okay i should just go post about plain language on a diff post that isn't ur ask askfdjhfjdkah #ANYWAY. sending all the love u way anon

19 notes · View notes

trashlie · 8 months

Text

ILY FP 239

Good grief I'm so out of practice, getting this thing going feels like pulling teeth, I'm so rusty!!! Bear with me if this one feels a little weirder than usual. I can't say I'm fully back to myself at this point but i'm not as out of it as I have been, so I might as well take advantage of this moment while I can! I really loved this episode and I still want to talk about it, and since it will be free this week, I want to get this one out of the way so this post will be available for those who are looking for it!

Honestly this is an episode I did NOT think we would be getting for a long time - but I've been saying that for a lot of these episodes, haven't I? lol But seriously, quimchee keeps giving us so much of what I've wanted but thought we'd have to wait til season 2 for!

Before I get distracted by the part of the episode that really occupied my brain, I'd like to touch on the opening. Dieter is the kind of character who I don't think would ordinarily talk behind someone's back, but clearly this is a special circumstance. He's rightfully concerned and worried about Nol and asking Nana for insight was not a bad move, even if it doesn't yield a lot of results. I was so, SO hoping in 238 that Dieter would remember what happened at the arcade, that SOMEONE would make a connection to that time that Nol acted SO out of character and weird (in their minds) so when Soushi mentioned the arcade I was CHEERING.

They are SO close and idk if Nana being cryptic made things worse or not. Soushi and Dieter seem to be under the impression that Yui is his mom, even though the news did report him as the illegitimate child. it's all so in the moment right now that perhaps they'll be able to connect the dots shortly - I just need them to keep in mind that connection to what happened at the arcade and realize that it wasn't seeing Kousuke that made him act like that. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

I really love how Yujing works, how she gets to people. She seems to possess an awareness that all people need to be approached differently, and how to make a lasting impression, a little dramatic flair - because let's be real, something dramatic is going to linger a little more, and for what she's leaving Nol with, a little lasting impression is really important. There's just something about how she presents this information - that despite his minor injury, Kousuke was roofied, and Yui was the one with him that morning; that he has some reason for wanting to talk to Nol even if he can't admit it yet; that a mother would want what's best for her son, so how was he roofied and denied treatment when he clearly wasn't even feeling well?

What matters is that Nol comes to the same conclusion we already have - and that he figures it out himself rather than be fed that information. Yujing doesn't know much about Nol, let alone his psyche, but we do, and we know that he believes the misfortune that befalls him is a punishment, is the result of his existence, that it's all because he only puts bad into the universe. But he needs to see that this is so much bigger than he thinks, that he has never been Yui's only victim or target.

If Yui will go to these extents that she would roofie her own son, what else is she capable of? And more importantly, he needs to see and really understand that it is more than just him. In his mind, Yui and Kousuke were a team ganging up on him to tear him apart for being the mistress' son, for existing when he shouldn't have, for posing as a potential threat to everything they want and cherish. To see that even Kousuke wasn't spare from Yui's crimes shows that this is something more than he expected, bigger than he has believed all along.

I talk a lot about how I need Nol to figure this out because he needs to understand that Kousuke, too, was a victim. That Kousuke was never truly part of that "team", that he was weaponized against Nol. I don't think that Nol is going to figure this out at that time, but it's a good first step. Understandably, Nol wants nothing to do with him, so the timing couldn't be worse. How is he going to accept and receive anything Kousuke has to say after everything he's done - and how he treated Nol at his absolute lowest point in his life? But it's still so very important that Nol learn how all of this came to be, why he could never reach Kousuke.

But also more than just for himself, this also connects back to Shinae. At this point in the story, Nol knows only of Shinae's involvement at the Kim formal, Yui was meddling and put her in danger. From what we can tell, he probably believes it's a result of caring about her. Because that's what happens - he starts to care about people and bad things happen to them.

I don't think he really knows the stipulations of Shinae's contract and he certainly doesn't know about the offer Yui made her. He doesn't know about what happened on Kousuke's birthday, something so wholly separate from him and his own interest. He doesn't know about the way Yui took immediate interest in Shinae and starting testing her and messing with her out of interest in the effect she has on Kousuke.

And likewise, he has no idea of the real lengths of Yui's threat. He doesn't realize Alyssa is in a prison and, in fact, believes she's living the dream she wanted. Objectively we know that Yui was taking an innocent girl and toying with her, making a game out of her, but *Nol himself doesn't know that*! He likely believes that his mother took her own life, and possibly as a result of something he might have said to her, where objectively we know that it was probably something more sinister than her making that choice. And honestly? There's SO much more! Kousuke's memory adds another potential person to her body count. The former CFO in Japan may not have died but he still lost his position and we have to be naive to believe his stroke was a mere coincidence.

We know this. Yujing knows this.

Kousuke is coming to know this.

It's time for Nol to realize this, too.

This alone may not be enough. I still want, badly, for Nol and Shinae to have a talk, where she can tell him about these things he doesn't know, to try to get through to him that the danger was never him but simply Yui's interest. Even had Nol never become her friend, she'd still be trying to play Shinae and use her on Kousuke and what happened at his apartment alone should show Nol that it wasn't about only him! Shinae has a habit of keeping things to herself but it's time to pull all of this into the open, in order to confront those feelings, in order to reach him the way she wants.

Yui will never give up on her.

And we've seen what happens to the people who keep Yui's interest.

I do hope, too, that Nol takes Yujing up on her offer and talks about his version of what happened that night. I don't know if her implication that Kousuke is coming to realize that Yui has meddled so much, has manipulated him and everything he believes, but I hope that reaches him in time, too. That everything Kousuke believes about Nol was heavily rooted in a falsified memory. But also it's important that he knows even without him telling her his side she will believe him. She is telling him that she knows! That she knows more than him!

GOD. IT'S SO BIG IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT BIG DEAL and I really need Nol to ruminate on this and let it all sink in because it is SO BIG AND IMPORTANT. This was NEVER about him - not the way he thinks, anyway. He thinks he's protecting Shinae if he can distance himself, if he can keep his feelings at bay, but all it will do is put them both at further risk, hurt both of them, and break their hearts. Part of Nol's desperate fear is that he doesn't know what the danger is, and thus how to prevent it.

But if he finally realizes that Yui is the danger?

He needs that realization.

And on the flipside, GOD, watching Kousuke go through that revelation... I know I've talked a lot about how I think Kousuke needs to crash and burn for the reformation he needs but now that we're here I DON'T WANT TO WITNESS IT, I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH HIM ;________; I know there are people who still loathe him no matter what but that's not me lol I have gone from hating this man to understanding the circumstances, to understanding how he got here and god watching him go through this is HELL.

Because something we can immediately glean is that Kousuke feels SO MUCH REGRET for these things now that he sees them in new light. That's what continues to set him apart from Yui - Kousuke doesn't attack people without reason, even if from someone else's point of view there doesn't seem to be reason, and this episode highlights that and how that mindset became something he adopted in the first place.

He comes from a family that, as far as we can tell, is probably prone to backstabbing and deceit. Perhaps Yui has internalized it more than anyone else and is the only one to hold this mentality, but she isn't entirely wrong when she tells Kousuke to be wary of people because many will only try to get close to him for his money, for his influence, to ride on his coattails or worse, to exploit and take advantage of him. We acknowledge that Kousuke is not well-developed in the sense that his sense of empathy is lacking, he doesn't have that real ability to understand people who are so unlike him, and he doesn't know how to have/handle healthy relationships between people - and like, it's not without reason. His strict schedule growing up played into this a lot, but a lot of it was further reinforced by the kinds of lessons Yui instilled in Kousuke. People will try to take what is ours.

And enter this child who speaks of a version of Rand that can't possibly exist, this child whom whispers and secrets have spoken of: Rand's other family. The other woman, the other son. From his young, inexperienced child mind and whatever it is Yui has told him - they're leeches, they are trying to take our places, they want to take your father they want to take our family they want to take what's ours - it's easy to see why Kousuke refused to let them in. In his mind, it was true - Nessa was the other woman who was destroying their family and trying to take what was theirs, and her son - their son! - was competition, could very rightly take his place.

And this isn't a lie! Nol could be considered an heir simply by virtue of being Rand's son.

So, honestly? It's easy to see, from Kousuke's point of view, why he was so starkly opposed to this other family from the get go, why he feared them and felt threatened by them. That sense of threat was instilled in him from such a young age that he never had a chance to see Nol as anything but, to consider the more mature and rational mentalities of "Rand is a grown man who made grown choices" and acknowledge his hand in everything.

But to young Kousuke, they were dangerous threats that were posed to ruin everything.

He was basically made to feel he could trust no one, not one single person.

So when young Nol comes to Kousuke at his lowest, the worst period of his life, Kousuke turns him away. And yes, he is incredibly cruel about that, I don't deny it. But from his perspective, I get it. He believed this kid was a threat, that his mother was a threat, that he was a dangerous child, even!

And now he sees how wrong it was, how he trusted someone who lead him astray, and because he trusted the wrong person, he has hurt people, ruined lives. Because it wasn't just Nol's life that he ruined, as we see. He has stood by when he could have offered help and denied it, out of suspicion and fear that the accusations were falsehoods, because he was told to always be wary of this, that he can't trust anyone, that everyone will try to take advantage of him and benefit off of his back.

Because he fails to believe these people who reached out to him at their lowest, he knows he is directly responsible for what befalls them. He is directly responsible for what Nol endures, for how cruel he is to him when he needs someone, when he's so afraid and so alone, so desperate! And he fails someone else in an equally dreadful way.

Who is the girl we see when Kousuke's memory switches, the girl bowing at the funeral?

We don't have a lot to go off of, but given Yujing and Kousuke's history, the piece she's working on that she's told Manli she thinks she'll like, and what little we know of Yujing's friend who was in a similar situation as Shinae, the current assumption that we've talked about on discord/reddit that I currently subscribe to is: the girl at the funeral is probably Manli, and maybe the person who she lost was a younger sister? Manli seems to be Yujing's age, who is closer to Hansuke's age than Kousuke is. We know Kousuke had a girlfriend in college, but because he graduated early and was younger than everyone, even started college as a minor, it's not likely he was dating one of his adult friends so.... is it possible that Manli had a sister near Kou's age who was introduced to him at one point? I don't think that part necessarily matters here, because what really matters is that we know: Manli, or someone, lost someone precious, and possibly because Kousuke did not step in to help.

At one point in time, Yujing must have thought highly of Kousuke - or at least of his influence and what he could do with it. In fact, this flashback really illuminates why Yujing can't stand him, why their relationship soured and why she treats him like she does. Like Nol, she resents that Kousuke never defies his family, that he puts his lofty goals ahead of everyone else.

Someone - probably Manli - went to Kousuke desperate for help, with accusations it seems that Kousuke refused to believe. And if they were accusations against his family - his mother - we can understand why he was hesitant to believe them: because everyone will try to take advantage of you, will try to deceive you, will say things to try to bring them down. In his mind, everyone is primed as a threat, and the accusations brought forth probably did sound incredibly ludicrous, because whoever it was who went to him was begging to be understood. Maybe they even knew that what they were accusing sounded that way, thus the desperation, the pleading.

"Only someone with a sick mind would even do that! It's impossible! And a dangerous accusation!"

More and more, that makes me think it has to be something that Yui or the Kims were involved in - who else has a sick enough mind to do something that, it sounds like, pushed someone to take their own life. The line about no one seeing it coming feels so much like that the victim kept quiet about what happened, that few others knew, and thus few others knew that Kousuke refused the help that maybe, just maybe, could have given her the vindication to not do something so agonizing.

The argument that Yujing and Kousuke had is scathing, but it demonstrates a lot about who they are and how Yujing perceives him - things we already know, but is nice to see further clarified. Kousuke is afraid to believe something that could be a misinterpretation, something that doesn't make sense, probably because the version of the accused doesn't line up with his reality, what he knows of people. I can't help but feel that Yui must've been involved, since Yujing makes that comment about "family comes first" and this episode rides on the back of Kousuke learning just what a sick mind Yui really has, just what kinds of extent she has gone to in order to control and manipulate him.

And because it's always felt like what happened at the formal, with the drugs, was some kind of trigger of a previous event for Kousuke, it makes me wonder if this was that incident. Someone (Manli?) comes to Kousuke for help. Maybe it was Yui, maybe it was the Kims, someone was involved. Maybe something happened to her sister? Some kind of sexual assault, something heinous and awful. She was roofied, she was taken advantage of, and they needed help. But Kousuke refused to act on it, because the accusations felt so preposterous he couldn't believe it - because he knows this is what people will do, they will try to tear down his family, will try to take advantage of him, they will lie to besmirch their names. And when no one believed her, when she was left to deal with the trauma of what happened, knowing that no one would believe her, that she had to live with the horror in her nightmares, she took her life. Yujing probably directly holds Kousuke responsible for never stepping in, for never using his influence to help, to investigate, for never believing them.

And it makes a lot of sense with what happened at the formal. This time, Kousuke (after a false start) believes them. This time he steps in and acts. This time he tries to save Shinae. (She really is his do-over for EVERYTHING isn't she?) In this manner, it also makes sense why Kousuke is so terrified for Yujing to meet Shinae and to convey this to her - because Shinae has been in that position before and who would understand this girl more than her, someone who is already uncomfortable around Kousuke, someone whose trust Kousuke is trying to earn. He doesn't want her to know about a time he failed so badly to help someone that it ended with that person's death. What would she think of him? How would she view him? And this is especially important because Shinae is the do-over. Because Kousuke needs to do better with her, to make up for his guilt about the times he has failed others in the past.

What sets Kousuke apart from Yui, though, is that Kousuke doesn't want to mindlessly hurt people. Those he has hurt he believed were in the wrong, were trying to leech off of him, were trying to take what is his, were trying to ruin their family reputation and pass allegations that could ruin them. But now he can look back and see the truth, realizes that he put his trust in the wrong person who lead him astray, who filled his head with falsehoods that he so desperately believed that he ended up destroying peoples' lives and he IS full of regret and self-loathing. He stands in the bathroom retching, reliving these failings, this haunting realization tearing him apart. There's something desperately depressing to me about the panel of him looking down at his face in the toilet and flushing it away, because we know how he feels, we know what he is reeling from.

Ultimately, Kousuke never intended to hurt innocent people. He never intended to be a bad person. Every time he hurt people, he thought he was defending himself, his family name. But he's learning how wrong that was, how he has all along put his trust in someone who never had his best interests at heart - who even DRUGGED HIM. He seems aware of the manipulation, that how he regarded Nol was all based on what she made him believe of him.

But he did. In the end, he hurt people who needed him. How different things could have been if he'd reached out to this desperate, scared boy who was left all alone in a foreign country with no one to turn to. How different things could have been if he had believed Yujing and her friend, if he had been able to step in and help.

A note I'd like to make here is that whatever happened to Yujing's friend, I'm certain it coincides with Nol's release from the mental institution. Yujing notes that Kousuke has changed, that he's not like the version of him they met years ago, and I wonder how much of this played into his refusal to believe them. They seemed familiar with a different Kousuke, one who maybe once might have helped, had Yui not reminded him what a threat everyone is, had Yui not reminded him of what he is meant to be working towards. Who was he, to put others first, when the Hiraharas were always to come first? Who was he, frolicking about and forgetting himself when Nol could swoop in at any moment and steal everything he'd worked so hard towards? Of course, because of how much that sense of threat was ingrained in Kousuke, maybe it wouldn't have played out any differently.

It just kills me that he can see it exactly that way - that these were people who desperately needed him and because he denied them, he made things so much worse for them. The guilt... no wonder he's locked in a bathroom stall retching like that. When Hansuke enters the stall and finds Kousuke just seated on the floor - a bathroom floor! Our man is hitting rock bottom. Who EVER imagined seeing Kousuke hugging a toilet, sitting on a public bathroom floor? He looks so pitiful, so small and pathetic and you know what my heart does break, because it's clear to me that Kousuke is still separate of Yui, that his regret and remorse sets him apart. Yes, it's very much too little, too late, but we also know how effective Yui's tactics have been thus far that this is the first time he's ever gotten suspicious, the first time he ever had an inkling something was wrong and could get tested.

How was he to know otherwise?

How was he to know that the only person he's ever been able to rely on was, in fact, the cause of everything?

GOD. IT KILLS ME IT JUST.... ALKKAFJKAKJFAJKAJFK ;___________;

Lives have literally been RUINED because he trusted the wrong person. How do you live with that? I'm so.... SO worried for his future.

Ngl i was so surprised that Kousuke still wanted to come back again, that he wants to try this again tomorrow, despite the fact that seeing Nol sent him into a panic attack, brought up all of the realizations of guilt and remorse that now ride on his shoulders. But.... idk I'm proud of him, too. It's clear he was worried about Nol, it's clear he wanted to see him and check on him and used the phone as that, but it's also clear that he is aware now of the terrible person he has been to Nol and that he was never in the right, that Nol was never the threat or danger he perceived him as - that just like he acknowledged in 212, it was always him, the cold man with his back turned.

I know it's not like their relationship can repair at this stage - that's much further along - but I hope Kousuke's persistence can at least benefit Nol, in some way. Even if it's just that the realization that even Kousuke is her victim, that no one has ever been safe from Yui, that it was always her, not him. He needs that much.

God this episode hurt it hurt SO MUCH like I can't even dig into the pain of those flashbacks because it's just so overwhelmingly painful. Nol went to him at his lowest moment, so desperate and afraid, and couldn't reach Kousuke or get through to him. Even at his most desperate, he was still seen as such a threat, that fear was so deeply ingrained in Kousuke. And for someone (Manli?) to lose someone precious to her because Kousuke didn't act, because he had the opportunity to step in and help and he didn't believe them.... it's no wonder Yujing has so much resentment towards him, why she can't stand this version of him.

just sobs

also i have been trying to write this all week long and did NOT proof this so I'm sorry if it sounds worse than usual i'm running on negative energy but I REALLY wanted to do a thought dump on this episode because GOD I HAVE BIG BIG EMOTIONS ABOUT IT

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #but not for looooong!#Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Kousuke Hirahara #Yujing #Hansuke Hirahara #Manli #?????#this episode was so painful #we needed it but my GOD it hurt so much i can't doooooooo this ;A;#PAIN #AGONY #DEVASTATION #realizations that will be HAUNTING #i'm gonna swaddle up everyone in little blankies except for yui and the kims #;A;

23 notes · View notes

psychewritesbs · 5 months

Note

hi! i didnt have much success when looking through ur blog to see if uve addressed this alrdy so apologies if u have.

i was curious to know ur thoughts on jjk's portrayals of gender, esp women/femininity. if u have particular insight from a psych or philosophy bg, id be interested in hearing that (warning, i have a v feminist critique lens)

ik u love gege's writing 😅 but his handle on female characters/femininity has given me such a difficult relationship w jjk, and its v difficult to have discourse on it. on one hand, we're introduced to sm interesting realistic women, tbh i actually never stanned a woman in manga before jjk. but imo it cant be denied that gege is a sexist writer. despite how realistic jjk women r theyre all .. halfwritten? i cant think of a single one who isnt underwritten, not fully explored, not utilized substantially in the plot, etc. and there r sm ex's of extremely minor male characters in jjk who r given more thematic relevance than frequently recurring women that just underscores that gender gap imo

this isnt solely a gege problem ik but what bothers me in particular about jjk vs other mangas is how gege addresses strength, even in the light of nb/androgynous characters, and how it feels as if gege's def of strength is inherently masculine? even despite going so far as to give us a philosophical battle shonen w diverse reps of gender and emphasizing individuality that encompasses both femme/masc traits

how a reader interprets whether a jjk woman is strong or not is obv subjective. like, i think shoko is strong but shes not depicted as such bc she doesnt have a combative technique whereas yuki maki nobara or mei r depicted as "strong" bc of their battle abilities. but it also feels as if those women r strong bc they take on "masculine" traits/mindsets whereas there r no clear depictions of "femininity" making women or men stronger. even utahime who falls into v classic shoujo girl tropes is seen as weak despite teaching her students v proficientally in battle strategy (mechamaru v mahito is a good ex of that imo), as compared to how gojo teaches his (ie dumping them into missions for experience). but thats not what gege ever chooses to highlight

femininity also doesnt even seem to make men/nb characters stronger. the ex's i can think of r naoya as a vagina (lmao), geto as a mother to curses, yuta as highly attuned to his emotions, kenjaku as yuji's mother -- those r things that support these (mostly) men's strong sense of individuality but like, those arent really the things that lend those characters their "strength", u know? like geges just sprinkling in androgyny for the spice 🧐

what is feminine vs masculine, how an individual embodies those traits in their gender identity r already complex topics. im obv generalizing a lot here, but i just, idk despite how many other nuanced philosophies gege explores, what is strong/desirable in jjk still falls down to all-out fighting abilities/physical prowess, emotional detachment, isolation, extremism, etc -- all things we harp on toxic masculinity for. and even when he critiques that, theres no cogent counter solution/way to be strong that gege provides, much less one that incorporates "femininity" and women

maybe im just asking for too much from gege after having read so many great representations of women and gender by female (and male) mangakas/writers but.. i shouldnt be 🙄 he can utilize his female characters more imo, esp when he can clearly set them up so well. and im sure theres things ive misread about jjk and its portrayal of femininity, theres plenty of holes in my thoughts ^^ anyways, this is obv not a great topic to bring up in a fandom that is so polarized between dudebros and women w unaddressed internalized misogyny.. so i welcome any and all thoughts and interpretations on ur end! (also omg im rlly sorry this got so long)

I love you feminist anon, if I may call you that lol, I just always name my anons 😂. I am so grateful that you sent this.

I feel like you've very eloquently explained the deeper reason as to why I personally can't relate to the female characters in jjk. If I'm honest, I like them and think they are fun and good enough representations or attempts at depicting the archetypes that rule their personalities.

As you say, however, some of them remain rather superficial and underutilized... and please forgive me anyone who loves them, but some of them feel like they are basically dudes wearing skirts.

No offense to dudes who wear skirts or people who like men who wear skirts or anyone for that matter. It's just that, as a personal preference, I like female characters that wear skirts, pants, leggings, etc and have equal amounts of masculine and feminine energy.

So, even if I find they are good enough, I've never necessarily loved jjk female characters, because, as you also say, I've read/seen one too many amazing and iconic female characters by other authors...

And it's not like I think you're asking for too much from Gege in wanting better female characters, it's just that, as you also said, I like his writing and I read jjk precisely because of what it's doing for my masculine psyche. Like... quite literally.

So perhaps I'm more forgiving than you are because of it? Because in all reality, there are female character moments in other manga that I have to give the bombastic side eye to, and jjk isn't one of them.

Let's taco'bout it more under the cut.

So, that said, I have to admit that you might not find a lot of "feminist oriented" content in my blog because my feminist lens is reserved for dealing with lame dudebros in my real life, and also, I honestly do not know how to wear the lens on the same level of depth as you do.

Also, since my blog's lens is depth psych, I very much focus on femininity and masculinity as psychological qualities that exist on opposite ends of a continuum regardless of biological gender. You'll see me refer to femininity and masculinity like this throughout my answer.

So because of this, I'm coming at the whole issue from a slightly different angle than you are. The way I see it, I think the way the jjk female characters are written and thematically utilized (basically everything you said), ultimately comes back to how Gege's exploration of femininity is limited by his own sense of self, and very much likely biased by the sociocultural landscape he grew up in.

I don't know how much you know about Japan, but Japan has one foot in the future, and one foot in the past...

And like... ok I'm totally oversimplifying the whole thing. All I'm saying is... Gege is a man who grew up in a man's world, sharing his view of the world through jjk, which is a story about initiation of the male psyche that is published in a magazine for young boys.

Do you see the pattern there?

So If you feel like his female characters are underutilized and underexplored, and that thematically jjk focuses way too much on masculinity and masculine definitions of strength at the expense of the feminine archetypes he does present (like Naoya as a vagina LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)... well... to me, we're basically looking at the limits of his own relationship to his femininity, which, this relationship is in turn an imperative precursor for psychospiritual development in depth psych. More of this in a bit.

Anyways, that's my anticlimactic reasoning for why I am more forgiving about the issue than you are. To be honest, I've been so consumed exploring my masculine psyche through jjk (because personally my feminine psyche is more developed in certain aspects) that I just never focus on the female characters (that is not to mention what I shared earlier).

ANYWAYS, I fucking love what you wrote about Gege's exploration on power from a masculine perspective because you're 100% spot on. What I'll say to that is that, to me, from a depth psych perspective, that's kind of the whole point.

I invite you to look at it from this other level of perspective (in addition to the whole "Gege's psych is a product of his upbringing"): the whole idea of individuality and focusing on the sense of self as a measure of "The Strongest" is being shown as an incomplete part of the equation...

... that leaves "the strongest" ultimately feeling dissatisfied.

This is a sentiment echoed by several characters because ego strength (masculine definitions of strength) is ultimately an unbalanced measure of strength precisely because it ignores feminine values and measures of strength.

Who knows where Gege is taking jjk at this point, but I will admit I am hoping he is going to explore this in more depth because, central to Jungian thought and depth psych is the idea of the Buddhist middle path and union of opposites.

In Jungian psych this means that, when you have an unbalanced ego attitude like that, something has to give so that the pendulum swings in the opposite direction, which gives the ego the experiences it needs to integrate the "opposite" attitude. This ultimately results in a more holistic and balanced perspective for the ego.

That to say that I'm wondering if Gege is going to make the pendulum swing in the opposite direction with the whole "individuality" idea since self-preservation is a "masculine" trait. Again, psychologically, it's all about balance, and right now, the story is out of balance in favor of the masculine traits you mention.

But... to bring it back to Gege's possible limitations around his perception of femininity and how developing a healthy relationship to his anima (femininity) is a precursor for psychospiritual development... what if, on a meta level, jjk is depicting part of Gege's journey towards integrating and deepening his relationship to his femininity and what you're seeing is the beginning of that journey?

Hint hint Tsumiki! maybe I'll write about it someday

This is the thing... In depth psychology, more specifically what is called "the psychology of fairy tales", fairy tales and myths are stories that depict the thinking patterns of a peoples through metaphor and symbol. The characters in these myths and stories are thus characters playing out dramas in our own psyches. So basically, think of jjk as an objective exploration of Gege's subjectiveness (psyche).

Admittedly, even if the pendulum swings in the other direction (more feminine definitions of strength), you might find that his exploration is rather shallow or that it falls short of your expectations for what you'd like to see from a feminist perspective. And you wouldn't be wrong for it, it's just that Gege is probably not on the same level of understanding that you have about femininity because he's, like you and I, a human on a journey of self understanding and growth reflecting on how his environment has shaped who he is.

The same goes for women with internalized misogyny. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know, and coming to an understanding of it is a process that doesn't take place overnight.

So I think the only part I'll disagree with is that Gege is a sexist writer. But that's perhaps because I'm being a bit too technical in what sexist means? i.e. masc supremacy or hating women and perpetuating stereotypes. I think that rather than being sexist, his unconscious biases are showing, which is why someone like you can pick them out.

I do understand where you're coming from though, and admittedly perhaps I am being too forgiving of him.

Last thing I'll say is that I've said a couple of times that wanting for jjk to have these iconic female characters feels like an exercise in futility. In retrospect, I now understand that it's not that anyone shouldn't want for jjk to have iconic female characters, but that doesn't change the fact that jjk will probably remain the wrong manga to look for them, and that's something to make peace with because it is what it is.

So, here's to hoping we get a chance to see a deeper representation of feminine values in jjk or Gege's next manga. Because, if he's done such beautiful work with the masculine psyche, like you, I'd be curious to see what he makes of a deeper exploration of the feminine psyche.

Between you and I, I'd actually love reading a proper battle bl from Gege. And I mean proper. Like... gays so canon that even the dudebros can't deny it.

ANYWAYS... giiiiiiiirl what an ask 😮‍💨. I don't think I've done it justice tbh. But hopefully I made sense? I really do love what you wrote. It was very eye opening to see this age-old argument spelled out the way you did it. So thank you again for sharing your thoughts!

If you over have any other thoughts on the topic I look forward to hearing from you!

I rambled too so... hopefully I made sense 🤣.

#ask the mental gymnastics anime girl

17 notes · View notes

longsightmyth · 5 months

Text

Once upon a time in college we were watching a documentary about a woman who tried I think three different schools of therapy as part of an experiment and got interviewed about each of them right after and a follow up a couple years (?) down the line. Anyway in one with the therapist she laughed nervously whenever the guy made a joke and kept an eye on him etc AND said in the follow up interview for that school that the man made her nervous and uncomfortable all the time.

After watching the documentary, we were asked which school of therapy seemed to work best for her in our opinion. One of the other adults in the class (an older gentleman) said that it was the one where she was laughing, because she was clearly laughing and happy, and he kept saying this no matter how long we discussed new info the professor handed us at each stage as we went through the class to see if the new info has any impact on our positions.

Anyway finally I said, my guy, the laughing and giggling is her nervous response. It's a defense mechanism. She's doing it to keep the THERAPIST happy, not because she's happy. The rest of the class agreed with me, and he sat with his arms crossed for most of the rest of the conversation, until he leaned down (stadium seating, we were stuck in a GIANT classroom despite being a small class) and told me that he couldn't have seen or understood the signs that she was uncomfortable or nervous, because he was a man.

I was like. My dude. I am not operating off womanly insight. She said specifically in the follow up interview that she was nervous and uncomfortable and her nervous response was laughter and giggling. You didn't have to know the signs that she was uncomfortable or nervous. She told all of us straight out, in words, which I also said when I explained to you that she was uncomfortable, which means you didn't listen to the words coming out of my mouth either, which is why you missed important and relevant information and lost points on this assignment. Are you listening to me now?

Which apparently I got extremely stern and forceful at the end there, but I think most of the class of (mostly young women! I was a nontraditional student in a gen ed at this point and a wholeass adult, whereas most of the other students were first years) heard. And not to toot mine own horn to too great of a degree, but I hope they took that and the fact that the professor (a lady, also, clearly, an adult) backed me up and, idk. Learned that it was okay to be like, you are not listening to the words coming out of my mouth. Listen to what I am saying.

Or just that there was a particularly strident lady in their psych class who would tell a dude he was interrupting them when they were speaking, as he often did.

17 notes · View notes

mihai-florescu · 4 months

Note

Regarding the five star four star and 2 three stars for each unit thing they tend to do my biggest wish is for himeru/kohaku and tatsumi/mayoi centre. Idk how to explain it but hiiro and rinne were the focus of the main story and aira and niki felt like they got a bit of character from that too (more than their other 2 members at least) so this just kinda feels. Right? I've seen people theorise that they'll address kaname or that he'll wake up and I don't doubt that logic, I just hope if so kohaku and mayoi can be of some significance. I think kohaku and mayoi are decent to bring attention to because despite himeru trying to be distant at first I think he definitely is most fond of kohaku, and don't ask me about tatsumi and mayoi you're talking to a ttmy shipper I'll be here all day. Basically I just think if himeru and tatsumi were to go through the horrors their unit mates would be there for them but those two in particular somewhat understand them a bit better. Before anyone tells me these 4 were in the romantic date scout I know. I've simply decided to remove it from my memory because I could never hate a story more than that one.

I've just ranted about alkakurei to you now. It's good to be back I guess

Im hoping for niki to have a really big moment in the tour personally, as well as aira, in a different light than what we've seen so far. I just...wish i cared more for them than i really do. And I wish i could make myself care, but alas, i can live with it just fine actually. The card distribution, well, im trying to keep track of when they've had cards last already/who's still due. Tatsumi still needs a ts2 so im counting him out of the possible tour 5stars (could be a 4star), but everyone else i think is eligible from that perspective. Oh......ohhhh.....it just came to mind, but you know how they did the altered and graduation tours? Tatsumi's ts2 could totally be running during the alkakurei tour, and be related to the story in that manner. Im willing to bet on this actually, nevermind, he's definitely getting a tour 5star in the gacha. And kohaku getting his fs2 then as well would be so cruel...higgles. rip alkakureiPs. Himemayo tour 5stars sounds plausible. But so does amagi bros to parallel their main story 5stars, or any other combination... idkidk im going to stop speculating until we have more information. Um. Checkmate anime is coming out first and i will be focusing my attention and obsession there, sorry. My knightspilled checkmateholic eichip swag.

Im not sure if you meant you actually hate romantic date /srs or if it was said in a "omg i hate x thing its gonna be the only thing i think about for days" way. I feel like you meant it /srs but im personally a fan of the story poking fun at fandom behavior, giving into and critiquing at the same time, as well as the insights into himeru's psyche. The game with affinity points from the other characters is just in himeru's head and a manifestation of his subconscious, where he thinks no one's love for him can grow as he doesnt let them actually know Him, the person beyond the himeru persona. Only tatsumi who loves everyone could still love him. And thats also pissing him off.

They both approach and view things, relationships, motivation etc so differently, a lot of himeru's internal monologues are filled with "negative" feelings (jealousy, pride, paranoia etc. Even the earliest we know of him is that he ran away from home because his dad remarried and he couldnt accept it, he's been like this forever. And yet, these feelings arent fitting with the perfect ido persona, so he bottles them up, with the occasional slip ups. Himeru's presence and slow opening up in crazy:b of all units, the group driven by their feelings and desires, is so so important to me.) whereas tatsumi just...has so much love and acceptance (although as much as they're an important part of his character, it's just as important that he also has his own wishes and desires and he does act on them, moreso than himeru at least. Like his hobby of driving recklessly, which he doesnt do because he cant drive well, but because he wants to do it like that and to experience the fun even if it's unconventional or incomprehensible to others). And this gap in their mentalities and approaches to life is scary for himeru. It's a hundred times harder to love and save another than to hate or break someone down (paraphrasing from another enstars quote lmao), i can empathize with himeru having complicated feelings about tatsumi's character that he doesnt understand himself, so he defaults to calling him unpleasant rather than having to unpack it. Let aside that beyond the difference in approaches they also have a complicated past, it's easier to just blame tatsumi who can take it seemingly unscathed. I think romantic date is fun to read both before and after having experienced obbligato...especially moreso after, when youre aware of the foreshadowing and further developments (this has been my experience with most of akira's gacha stories he's written in es2 era)

Im not a tthm shipper in the traditional sense of "i want to see them date" cuz i think what they have going on is much more fascinating and nuanced than that and it'd do the relationship a disservice imo. I was gonna say it's also fun to put these characters who struggle with understanding each other and actual romance and love in general actually in every sense of the word together but thats kind of the entire cast. A lot of my favorite dynamics at least, that have had varying degrees of success and development. However, it is something i enjoy, obviously, so i will always remain fond of romantic date...wah i rambled about this for a very long time, i'll stop now!

#ask #niicookie

8 notes · View notes

taylortruther · 7 months

Note

I found when emma falls in love pretty cringy but I love the other vault songs. timeless had to grow on me (I love it now), and foolish one has aged, but still. castles crumbling is one of my favorite songs ever. electric touch and I can see you just sound great with her current vocals / production but idk how good the former would’ve been if she’d released it in 2010

okay so i appreciate castles crumbling for the insight it gives us into taylor's life/psyche at the time. but the lyrics are.................. not her best. and same with electric touch.

8 notes · View notes

sylvies-chen · 9 months

Note

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤️

Ahh ok this is so cute I’m glad I was sent this because I feel like I never promote my own stuff on here and wouldn’t unless prompted lol.

Hopelessly Devoted To You - anyone who’s read my stuff has probably read this one, it’s my most popular fic and my first ever AU. I was so proud of this story, and met some of the most wonderful fandom friends through this story

Spinning Out - this is my most severely underrated fanfiction ngl!! I was so proud of this when I wrote it and was in my Burzek feels. I owe @fighterkimburgess for this, who championed this fic for me, like I was writing it solely for you at one point cíara! you were its biggest fan for sure. anyway y’all can pry ballerina kim from my cold dead hands it was glorious.

Violin Concert in D Minor, Op. 47: I. Allegro Moderato - MY KENSTEWY FIC MY BELOVED yes I absolutely wrote a fic because of a violin concerto I’d heard it’s the geekiest thing ever but I lovedddd getting to write college!kenstewy and this was right after the succession finale too so I needed a win (or at least to write a little smut).

Where the Mind Wanders - one thing about me is that I LOVE the “dream sequence where deceased loved ones visit them” trope. think that episode of Sherlock where he gets shot, think 8.15 of Bones, things like that. because you get such an insight into a character’s psyche while also getting feral worried energy from character B who’s in love with them, and it’s just. SO GOOD. so I tried writing that for Chenford because we have yet to experience any true whump from established chenford now that they’re actually together and I wanted to write Tim losing it over Lucy being in danger!!

Love & Metachrosis - listen I love getting to write sort of higher concept fics and getting super creative with it, but this fic is none of that. it’s heartfelt as all my stuff is, but I’m proud of it for its comedy and humour. I genuinely did try writing it as a real scene from a (hypothetical at the time) season 2 episode of OFMD, and added in some comedy in there (I hope) so I’m proud of it precisely because it is super kitschy and silly and fun, but there is still a lot to sink your teeth into and it slowly sinks into the emotional stuff just like the show does. Idk, it was just the first fic I’d ever written for a show that is technically a comedy so I was really happy with the balance!

bonus points for my new chenford AU that I’m writing right now which is probably the best thing I’ve written and my favourite new idea, because I haven’t posted it yet but I still am so excited for it!! Title is TBD but @morganupstead knows what’s up (morgan it’s my superpowers fic and it’s coming along beautifully I totally need to send you the first two chapters or something because you kept me going with writing this)

#abby.answers #self promo #fic recs #fanfic #writing #fanfiction #fic writing #burzek #chenford #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ofmd #kenstewy

18 notes · View notes

victoriartdrawings · 3 months

Text

My to do (one day i swear) fics masterlist (forgive the messy summaries and useless commentary i literally made this two weeks after seeing the movie and didnt touch it until today lol )

1 Titanic AU for this one im still thinking abt the general plot (edit 28/01: i have the plot but i have to write it lol)

2 Coryo has his grandma and cousin 'captured', it has some consequences on his psyche and thoughts... ( he believes them dead--> during the scene after the games with Highbottom implies they might be dead the little shit) and is directly (like literally forced, hes not allowed to see his family) sent in District 12....

3 (in this one they're technically older than in canon), before the war they meet many times (from 10 to 15/16y), then the war happens: they meet again during these events, (the Covey didnt partake in the war in the novel, but im still deciding though if Lucy Gray'll choose a 'side' to help or not...edit 28/01: she will pick a side hehe and not its Coryo's) ...(...maybe , after, the angst during the war, then the 13 win and they meet at opposite side of the line...and then forced to be together due to the new 'Games'.?????..bruh i have so many tropes and AU mixed in this one)

4 okay, so this is a Star Wars AU...(not Anidala i swear...they just...dont fit them i think) so idk if you watched Rogue One, but it'll be loosely inspired by this movie...

5 College/University AU, where Coryo is forced (literally, he is blackmailed by professor Highbottom) to tutor Lucy Gray otherwise he (C. Highbottom) wont valid his stage/work (or smt like that idk precisely yet since i dont know a damn thing abt American or British university ) - and he choose Lucy Gray especially for him bc he knows Coryo'll be pissed abt it and wont succed (well, he thinks he knows Coryo wont succeed, but little did he know...) so Coryo not exactly happy abt having to tutor this...girl. (pretty snobby abt it too)...their start is very...rocky...(i have written their meeting scene (well, the official meeting) already )

6 (edit 28/01: this one is very shitty i hesitated to let it on this post but here take what my snowbaird brainrot managed to imagine lol) ...due to the fragile 'peace' between districts and Capitol after the war, the new government decided to send children/teens/adult to differents district or Capitol (a sort of 'exchange'.... well and also 'you start doing suspicious things, we have your people in 'hostage' kind of thing) and for them to live in it (for a limited amount of time), and if they succeed without raising any problems, they can come back 'home' (little did kid Coryo know he will end up loving district 12....not right away of course, right now hes rather angry, disgusted by 12 and a condescending little shit... )

7 (edit 28/01: i wrote a more insightful plot for this, i'll add it tomorrow) Lucy Gray, killed in the forest wake up to the day of her reaping.

8 another modern AU (sorry if u dont like that) inspired by Mamma mia (i fully blame the whole movie album) with, of course some twist and changes...(edit 28/01: it can works my brain said so to me)

9 WHELP. ANOTHER MODERN AU. so. i wont detail everything here (its the first fic idea i had and i did work a little more on it ) but, Coryo after 3/4 years in the military (forced by his mom but theres more to it of course also,/ not thinking abt real military accuracy now) come back to see his friend Sejanus - yeah, he really is friend (reluctant) Sejanus in this,(Sejanus, who due to some events- his father death???- created with his mom a scholarship for students who live in less priviligied areas of the town/or country??? still thinking abt it ) . So. Coryo come back just to see his only (with Clementia of course) friend doing buddy buddy with Lucy Gray. Lets say hes not happy....

10 Im sure others already thought of this one, but if Highbottom was more of a close 'mentor/fatherly' figure to him after the war??? ( not only, but also manipulating Coryo to his own ends)

12 And Actors AU because well, they're both performers in their own right and Actor/actress + (fake dating maybe??) + a past still haunting them + lowkey despise you = perfect angst.

#snowbaird #Take all my plotbunny i managed to make during my first Snowbaird brainrot after the movie #sorry its shitty but hey at least i tried...happy to share it with y'all once and for all though #lucy gray #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow #coryo x lucy gray #coryolucy #my post #fanfic ideas #DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY #REALLY I HAVE TO RE-WORK ON EVERYTHING/PLOT/SETTING ETC SO I REPEAT DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY

4 notes · View notes

mrhowells · 1 year

Text

Smallville 1x19

Wait what? So Clark likes Lana AND Chloe? I am confusion.

Lana looks devastated

Damn, he told Chloe about his powers just like that😳 Aaaand now he's off to kill the driver I assume.

"What's with you, Clark? Do you have some sort of savior complex?"

CHLOEEEE I'M SCREAMING

THE PRINCIPAL???????

Clark sweetie, I have not read this book but just from what I heard about it, you might want to get your information somewhere else💀💀

I do find it hilarious that he's trying though.

"I'm trying to get an insight into the female psyche." "I seriously doubt you'll find it in here." LMAOOO😭😭

"I've got these two amazing friends who both happen to be girls." "For argument's sake, let's call them Lana and Chloe." LEX STAHP

fr though, this episode is so entertaining lmaoooo

THE PRINCIPAL'S SON????

Chloe you're in troubleeee

I love it when Clark just yeets people, idk why

Lex really can't catch a break, ever😬😬

So now Chloe & Clark are going on a date, Lana is jealous even though she still has a boyfriend who she wants to break up with but can't because he just lost his dad & she pities him, AND Clark has unresolved feelings for Lana too...

there's going to be so much emotional cheating I can feel it in my bones😶

#ellie's smallville thoughts #smallville #1x19 #clark kent #chloe sullivan #lana lang #lex luthor #lionel luthor

13 notes · View notes

drewsaturday · 1 year

Text

this is gonna be long and probably not very coherent

the "i just don't understand why starving hallucinating teenage girls on the verge of death in the wilderness would devolve into ritualistic cannibalism so fast :///" ppl keep getting lumped in with those of us who just think they should've shown us the ritual leadup and it's so exhausting.

i know why they did it!! i completely understand why they did it!!

what i wanna know is how it specifically came about, not because i can't read between the lines but because i'm genuinely fascinated by how they decided the ritualistic components and came to terms with actual murder as a group.

i genuinely wanted to see who pushed back on that escalation because they can just wait out lottie's death or look for crystal's body, even if just for a last ditch effort at morality knowing fully well a ritual is the only way.

i wanted see the dread settle in the eyes of some and the humanity fade from the eyes of others as they stopped fighting and reached a consensus.

i wanted to know how they chose the queen card, even just showing van shuffling through the deck and finding it and tracing over its crossed out eyes, face mangled by the wilderness like hers, and Knowing this is it.

i wanted to see shauna clutching jackie's necklace thinking about the love and safety and betrayal it carries, knowing she's going to put it on the next yellowjacket whose death she'll be responsible for, blood across the chain.

at the very least give us a music montage of visuals if a discussion would have been treating us too much like toddlers or whatever. i do think there was a valuable element of "wait, are they actually doing this? no, they can't be--" that i felt until nat drew the queen card and confirmed it. a montage of visuals could have still allowed a similar effect, and it just felt like a missed opportunity to not give us more insight into the girls' psyche at that Specific moment.

idk! maybe it would have been redundant to show--we know they already used the cards for chore delegation, we can guess who would've been for/against it, we know they don't have all that much time TO discuss it, it sort of mirrors cannibalizing jackie since they didn't have a chat about that before digging into her face, groupthink is powerful, they're too exhausted to fight it, etc.

BUT i personally don't think those points outweigh the abruptness and missed opportunities considering the buildup is something so pivotal for the rest of the series. the cannibalistic descent felt earned, the ritual specifics did not.

and honestly i think some of my sentiments are justified considering there was a deleted scene of shauna telling lottie she'd do anything for her, which helps push the "let's sacrifice someone to the wilderness to save lottie" undertones of needing the ritual in addition to starvation. they really could've cut the shauna scissorhands dream and gave us this instead but nah.

AND... THEY LITERALLY DID FILM A DISCUSSION SCENE. the actors being interviewed explain sometimes things have to be cut for pacing and tone etc, but i also don't know if they're justifying it because if they criticize their crew they'll be in trouble or if they genuinely think it worked out for the best. i think either way, it does show even the writers and co were on the fence about whether to include it, so i don't think having it be such a divisive topic is entirely out of left fucking field. something feels missing because something is missing, and even if it was for the best... they cut it so late into the process of course it's going to be noticeable.

anyway. i truly do love this show. and i'm not mad that they didn't give us a discussion scene, i'm just getting tired of the fandom being so unwilling to listen to why some of us feel like there was a missed opportunity there. if so many of us are saying "hey this could've been done in a more satisfying way" i don't think there's a lack of media literacy there. you don't need to agree--obvs it was fine enough for a lot of fans--but some of us have our reasons for feeling the way we do.

ultimately i just think it would've added so much more weight to the ritual in 2x08 and the rituals onward if they'd done that, but since they didn't do it we'll never know if it would've been better or worse. all we know is that some people are so set on feeling high and mighty for Understanding The Scene that they're painting any valid criticisms as deranged media illiteracy.

#yellowjackets tag #anyway isnt the showrunners' whole thing 'it's not if cannibalism it's HOW/WHY cannibalism' or something #bc for such a pivotal moment in the show they rly would've benefitted from a touch more time on it #maybe my suggestions wouldve made it worse idfk #maybe i should rewatch the episode who knows maybe i'm wrong maybe i'm missing things but i feel like #it's hard to go back with a non-biased mind knowing what happens when a lot of the criticisms are based around #the buildup on first watch

9 notes · View notes