#idk if my ex’s hates me or they just loved me really badly

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (6) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n the highs (friends) and lows (exes) of life aka lina lore 👀 preface : i know nothing about nfl or american football so suspend ur beliefs if u happen to know a thing or two, also my amateur photoshopping skills are really improving from this

masterlist | last part | part 6 | next part

INSTAGRAM

logansargeant

liked by alex_albon and 142,394 others

logansargeant The long-awaited ultimate rematch tagged: selinabui and oscarpiastri

alex_albon Wait, why wasn't I invited?

selinabui ok captain america pack it up ↳ logansargeant @ selinabui Stay mad 😎 ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui Why would you challenge two professional racing drivers to a racing game? ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri i thought you loved me? ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui Ah but you love winners more 😏 ↳ logansargeant @ oscarpiastri Stop flirting in my comments???

cofrisy_f1 LOSCAR??? OSCALINA??? LOLINA???

beemiepie she chose the orange car 🥺🥺🥺 ↳ siera_mblanc @beemiepie a true papaya girlie 🧡🧡

cameliazzz just posted to their story

replies selinabui cami, did u or did u not insist u'd be fine 😭

lukaszhang the SLANDER??? didn't we have loads of fun???

aidan_ebass Touché Millie, see you soon?

eb_jonno sidenote: can you bring mochi on the plane? are there food restrictions?

oscarpiastri

liked by opeightyone and 121,983 others

oscarpiastri 次回まで trans: until next time

piastri_lina obsessed with this couple's dedication to never tagging each other

opeightyone Get 'em next year 💪

selinabui currently feeling like a 1930's housewife waiting for her husband to return from war ↳ cameliazzz @ selinabui HELLO NOT YOU PLAGARISING MY STORY??? FOR A GUY??? ↳ selinabui @ cameliazzz nooooo wifey i didn't mean like that :(((

TWITTER

lina !!! @EB_selina · 37m you've gotta be shitting me

NFL Jersey Numbers @nfljerseywatch · 1h Tennessee Titans RB Thomas Howard (@THowdy) is wearing number 24. Last worn by Kenny Vaccaro. #Titans

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 34m no fucking way... i don't wanna jump to conclusions but... ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 32m he tweeted about it. girl- jump to those conclusions.

Thomas Howard @THowdy · 58m The move to the #Titans has been a huge change, and 24 has been a number close to my heart for many years, I'd consider it a lucky number for a lucky year 👊 ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 23m eat shit and die i'm so fucking serious you have no right to wear her number ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 22m hahaha (not) funny but april fools was last week say sike RIGHT NOW

fiona🩷 @fififorlina · 29m thinking about how tommy is playing with lina’s number i'm weak 😭 ↳ 🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 13m no, we're absolutely not doing this, it's not sweet at all, do you even know how badly he treated lina? ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 11m there are tommy-supporting linami’s in this day and age???

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 39m lina watching her ex and cousin play/drive with her number be like:

↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 23m idk how to feel bc it's kinda hilarious that our little rockstar is slowly plaguing the sporting world with her number

lina !!! @EB_selina · 22m @LoganSargeant for my own mental health we're not going to talk for the next... 50 years ↳ Logan Sargeant @LoganSargeant · 8m I'm sorry? Did I do something wrong? ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 5m it's not you, it's just your countrymen (i'm generalising again)

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 35m WHY IS EVERYONE FLOODING MY TL WITH T*MMY SHIT ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 34m lina is one of the only music girlies who is SO SO SO vocal about how much she HATES her ex and you still can't listen to her??? ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 34m not just with her music but as in SHE OUTRIGHT HATES HIS GUTS ON MAIN she COULD NOT possibly make it clearer that she would rather shoot herself in the head than ever consider getting back together with him ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 33m i'm so tired can't you just let the woman be happy with oscar ↳ abby <3 @devilvows · 17m liv, baby, i think you need to change ur name to 'defense minister of linami nation'

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by oscarpiastri and 139,204 others

selinabui some weird second string loser who's not worth mentioning

cameliazzz thought the message was 'let everyone know i'm doing ok'? ↳ selinabui @ cameliazzz message appropriately sent :)

oliviarodrigo AAHHH stunning as always 💝💝 ↳ selinabui @ oliviarodrigo watch out, the literal moment we're in the same city i'm hunting u down (my favourite american 🥺)

oscarpiastri Haha not me though right :) ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri idk maybe...?

TWITTER

lina !!! @EB_selina · 1h this is really hindering my enjoyment of 'so american' ↳ Oscar Piastri @ OscarPiastri · 1h I reaaally hate to break it to you but I think you might be the American in this relationship ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 53m take that back rn i'm serious ↳ Oscar Piastri @ OscarPiastri · 49m Which one of us has lived in California for half a decade? 🤔

↳ abby <3 @devilvows · 37m can you imagine waking up to that face? oscar piastri, you lucky bitch

↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h oscar piastri i was not familiar with your game ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h selina, i understand you now, i get it now, truly i do, hooooly

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h i think the entire empty bottles fandom and oscalina shippers trying to cleanse the tl by posting some of the most jaw-clenching, hottest pictures of oscar and lina is so funny ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h the best part is that it's actually working and also so many more empty bottles fans are realising how unfairly attractive oscar piastri is

INSTAGRAM

selinabui Seoul, South Korea

liked by oscarpiastri and 138,958 others

selinabui heal my s(e)oul tagged: cameliazzz, blublublupi, and lukaszhang

lukaszhang i thought i specifically asked you not to post that ↳ selinabui @lukaszhang i actually wasn't gonna but then you told me not to so obviously i had to

oscarpiastri 🧡 ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri any other fucking colour heart i beg ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui You know I'm contractually obligated

emptybottlos i'm convinced they agreed to go on tour just to travel, visit friends and eat a bunch of authentic food

ceciliapham someone else is in seoul rn 👀 ↳ marie_h.sb @ceciliapham in what world do you think your gonna see lina and chris yamada in the same room again?

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee

#f1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x oc #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri smau #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 smau #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 imagine #f1 social media au

[chompersbrainrot]

procrastinating so u guys get my hatchetverse hcs!!! (these are going to be a lot of shit i picked up from random posts that i dont remeber the ops of so sorry if u made one of these hcs and i dont credit you i love you sorry) ethan green

probably like 23? 25?

hes actually bi he told me himself

afab he/they boyflux sue me

lex is his first and only gf. he's probably had like one bf before but he loves lex sm more (simp) (malewife to her girlboss basically)

orphan sorry i dont make the rules

his dad left like immedately and his mom passed of old age when he was like 17 idk

hannah is basically his little sister. he'd die 4 her actually.

ted spankoffski

like late 20s early 30s at the most ithink

so painfully thirsty for anyone he has to be pan

amab he/him but doesnt really give a fuck

has never had a partner thats so sad. he makes up for this by constantly acting like everybody wants him. they dont. (exepct for me i love him)

doesnt really have a CRUSH on anyone speific but mark chastity is his fav to tease (sorry im a baby for holy bastard)

him and petes parents love them but theyre kinda like.. oblivious and absent. like theyre always on trips and leaving pete to live w ted

max jagerman

im not gonna list all of the teens' age theyre all 16-18

im assimilating with this one he/she pronouns amab

hes omni he told me himself pref 2 women

everybody wants him he only wants the nerd (hes just like me fr)

he isnt dead shut up shut up sHUT UP HES FINE OKAY

his dad is not good his mom died in childbirth

stephanie lauter

genderqueer. they/she/he in order of pref. also uses xe/xir idc sue me

pan thats cannon she told me xirself

does tiktok dances but really badly on purpose

the biggest simp on earth to her one guy and nobody ese

will fluster the living hell out of pete in public for fun

hates being the mayors daughter, feels alienated bcs of it

pete spankoffski

he/they afab i dont make the rules

bi if you argue youre homophobic (/J)

actually loves his big bro but acts like he doesnt bcsaude is ted hears him looking up ted he'll never hear the end of it

nickname seymour from ruth (bcause lsoh)

ex-brony

richie whateverhislastnameis

afab he/xe/nya/zap he would have so many cool neos. one of those people whos neo list is longer than the bill of rights

gay mlm yes

undertale enjoyer

nge enjoyer

discord mod in an anime server

owns several body pillows

xem and ruth have been friends since pre-k so they know eachother like the back of their hand

ruth whateverherlastnameis

afab she/they

omni large large large pref to girls. likes a few boys sorta

biggest theatre kid ever but sucks at acting and singing (the curse)

got ensemble ONCE and cried at the cast list

fav show is heathers

heather m kin i dont make the rules

grace chastity

afab she/her

bi

liked a girl once and cried for a week str8 abt going 2 hell

i dont have alot of hcs for her but i think she would like fire a large amount

not even arson wise but like

a firebug

tinky

i already made my hcs for all the LiBs' true forms so go find those if you want

all the libs dont give a fuc about pronouns call them whatever

i do he/him tho

tinky is really just a 13 yr old girl freaking out abt one specific guy (ted) and making fucked up fanfics with him (time bastard nmt)

the "youngest" of the siblings

boy jerry

i beleive that every character jon plays is related. boy jerry is pauls fucked up brother. which means hes also richies uncle

#npmd #nerdy prudes must die #ethan green #ted spankoffski #max jagerman #stephanie lauter #peter spankoffski #richie lipschitz #ruth fleming #grace chastity #tinky #boy jerry

[erin-bo-berin]

hi erin! i have a little request and it just hit me like an epiphany- and yk when those hit and your whole mind becomes occupied with it and starts imagining scenarios- yea like that,, so in this little epiphany-request it’s a little angsty but fluffy and it’s if steve and reader had a messy break up that caused her to move away for college or something, probably after vecna when steve maybe started drawing himself closer to nancy and reader saw it, and maybe that night there was a big blow up argument and the six little nugget topic w nancy came up in it, and they break up. then reader makes a choice to move to college to get a hold of herself, and maybe a year later she comes back for the holidays ‘cause the kids and robin have been pestering her for a while, and when she comes back all the kids + robin, and eddie who didn’t die cause im not mean like the duffer bros, plan a movie night or something and steve hasn’t been told anything so he’s obviously upset and like “why are all of you going together without me?” and he’s arguing cause he’s a big of a territorial bean when it come to his kids, and then after a while max gets rlly annoyed and starts yelling at him for driving her big sister figure out of town and not letting them enjoy a day with her, and he kinda just goes mum because holy shit she’s back and he has half a mind to run to her house -that he drives past every day ignoring the pain in his heart- and beg for your forgiveness ‘cause you left. you left and he didn’t realize how badly he needed you- and idk if this makes sense but maybe when they see each other they just stare and go like the shy hi’s? bonus if reader kept a necklace or smth that he gave him cause he’s just staring at it and he’s gonna burst into tears I know it.

gasps because that made my mind breathless- and like all my requests this is very chaotic ‘cause my thoughts are like dreams, if I don’t pen them down I forget! and i hate that,, please ignore this if you don’t like it and congratulations once more on 5k!! your steve x single!mom verse changed the steve fics for everyone <3 🪐

Gah thank you! I’m really loving this request by the way. This is gonna be so cute and fluffy by the end BUT WAIT there’s gonna be angst of course!

This was just the perfect gif for this LOOK AT THAT PUPPY DOG FACE

All Roads Lead To You

Steve Harrington x Reader

Voices were raised, doors were slammed and hearts were broken that fateful night.

“I have eyes, Steve!” you shouted, “I see how you look at her!”

“Y/N, it’s not like that, I promise!” Steve pleaded with you.

“You told her you saw yourself having kids with her!” you screamed.

When his mouth opened and closed, unable to deny it, you laughed bitterly. Tears were stinging your eyes, but you refused to cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve your tears.

“Yeah. Nancy told me. At least someone has the decency to tell me the truth.”

You were angry and hurt. You wanted Steve to hurt as much as you were. You’d spent the entire week watching your boyfriend with his ex-girlfriend. There was still something there, as much as it pained you to admit it. A person would have to be blind to miss that.

“You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?” you whispered.

His eyes, looking as defeated as you felt.

“I’m with you though, Y/N.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” you said, pressing your lips together in a tight line.

You were practically grinding your teeth to a dust to try and keep from crying. You weren’t enough for Steve if he apparently was still in love with Nancy.

“I don’t know if I am, okay?”

He threw his hands up in exasperation.

“It’s not like I’ve cheated on you! I never would!”

You knew he was right, but this was almost worse. How much lower can one feel when they find out that the person they love doesn’t love you the same? You told him just as much.

“But it’s almost worse, Steve. How would you feel if you watched me getting close to my ex again? Probably like a knife to the heart, huh?”

He was quiet again.

“You basically admitted you wanted to marry her!”

“I know, I know. It just…came out,” he winced.

“Oh that’s rich,” you huffed, “Let me just go find Eddie and profess my undying love to him while we’re at it.”

“That’s not fair and you know it,” he scowled.

“Well now you know how I feel,” you crossed your arms, glaring at him, “Not to mention she’s in a relationship too, Steve! How is that fair to her either?”

“I don’t know, okay? I wasn’t really thinking,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Be honest with me. Have you ever really be invested in this relationship or was I just a distraction from her?”

“How could you even think that? You know I love you!” Steve grimaced.

“It’s hard to tell anymore,” you frowned, crossing your arms, looking away from him.

Just when you thought he couldn’t shatter your heart anymore, he succeeded in doing just that.

“Maybe…maybe we should see other people,” he said, running a hand through his hair.

“Yeah. Maybe we should,” you replied bitterly.

That is how the best relationship you’d ever had came to a horrifying, heartbreakingly abrupt ending.

•

You ended up moving away for college after your split from Steve. It hurt way too much to stay in Hawkins, having to run into him.

You have no idea what happened with him and Nancy. She was dating Jonathan after all, but who knows? Not that you cared. You threw yourself into studying, into parties, into work, anything that would help you forget about Steve, forget about Hawkins.

Summer break was coming up soon and you still hadn’t figured out your plans yet. Your roommate had invited you to vacation with her and her family, but you hated to be an imposition.

One phone call changed your course though.

You were studying for finals and had come to a much needed place for a break when the phone in your dorm rang. Your eyes were aching and had began to cross from staring at your text books for so long. You sighed in relief, even grateful for a telemarketer at this point.

Leaning across your bed, you grabbed the receiver, bringing it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Well, look who’s alive!”

You smiled at the familiar, teasing lilt of your friend Robin.

“Hey, Robin,” you smiled, sitting back against your pillows.

“You don’t call, you don’t write, I’m starting to feel insulted, Y/N!” came a voice from the background.

You laughed, hearing Eddie’s complaints.

“I haven’t called for two weeks, not two years,” you chastised him.

“It’s been too long either way,” Robin said, “Oh the kiddos want to say hi.”

“Hi!”

“Y/N I miss you!”

“Come home already!”

“Hi Y/N!”

A chorus of mixed voices were faint over the line, but by the volume, you assumed that Robin had held the receiver up for the group.

“Hi guys,” you chuckled, “Tell them I miss them too.”

“She says she misses you guys too,” you heard Robin say, “Not sure why when you drive us crazy here.”

You laughed again, feeling a pang of homesickness. As much hurt that Hawkins had left you with, you missed the great group of friends you had. You’d especially missed the phone calls lately.

“Two weeks though? I was going insane thinking you died or something!” Robin exclaimed dramatically.

“I’m sorry, finals are coming up and I’ve been cramming for them. I’ve been living in either a state of stress or exhaustion when I’m not studying or sleeping.”

“You’ll ace them, I know it,” Robin replied, sounding certain, “Besides, then you can come home to us!”

You fingered the necklace that you always wore, even now. It was a simple heart locket that rested coolly against your skin as if it always belonged there. Steve had given it to you for your one year anniversary. You didn’t have the strength to part with it and the comfort it brought you to still wear it was surprising, considering you tried hard not to think about Steve.

“I don’t know…” you hedged, “I haven’t quite figured out what I’m going to do for summer break. My roommate invited me to go to Tahiti with her and her family.”

“Well Tahiti doesn’t have us, missy.”

You could hear the sass in her voice and it made you chuckle.

“That’s true.”

“Do I have to call in reinforcements to convince you to come home?”

You didn’t even have a chance to respond before you heard the chorus of voices pleading and begging with you.

“Please!” Max and El.

“Yes come home we miss you!” Dustin.

“Hawkins sucks with out you!” Lucas.

“I think I forget what you even look like, it’s been so long.” Mike.

“Please come home for the summer?” Will.

“Honestly, who’s gonna keep this kids in line if it isn’t you?” Eddie.

Robin knew your weak spot, that’s for sure.

“Well?” Robin pressed, coming back on the line.

“Okay, okay. I guess I’m coming home for summer break,” you relented.

You had to hold the receiver away from your ear at the shrieks and whoops of joy that came from the other end.

“You won’t regret it, I promise,” you could hear the smile in Robin’s voice.

“Hey, Robin? Could I talk to you alone for a moment?”

You heard her murmur something to the others and you heard a door click, so you assumed she’d moved to a more private place.

“If you’re going to ask how Steve is, he’s the same as always.”

You sighed.

“I’m that predictable, huh?”

“Pretty much,” she answered baldly.

“As much as I hate it, I still care about him,” you replied glumly.

“You don’t hate it, Y/N,” Robin said gently, “Honestly, I’d be more concerned if you didn’t care about him still.”

“Is he…seeing anyone?” you asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Out of the handful of times you’d asked Robin how Steve had been doing, you’d never asked if he was dating. But now, knowing you were returning to Hawkins in a few short weeks, you found yourself curious. You told yourself you were just preparing for the worst in case you ended up seeing him with Nancy or worse, another girl.

“If you mean Nancy, nah. That never happened. She’s still with Jonathan,” she answered nonchalantly, like she was giving you the latest weather report, “And before you ask, there’s no other girl either. He’s practically turned into a monk and it’s weird.”

You didn’t know how to digest all that information, so you did what you did best: ignore it.

“How’s work going?” you asked her, twirling the cord of the phone around your finger.

“If you think I didn’t notice your swift change of subject, I did. But since you’re my best friend, I’ll overlook it,” she huffed, “It’s going alright. Nothing exciting.”

You spent the next hour on the phone chatting with her about anything and everything. By the time you’d hung up the phone, your wariness about returning to Hawkins had dissipated.

It would do you good to see your friends.

•

It was Friday night and Steve couldn’t find any of his friends anywhere.

Nor could he get ahold of them.

He’d tried all the usual spots after he’d closed up after his shift at Family Video. He tried the mall, the arcade, the diner, even the Wheeler’s house—where the gang usually congregated. No luck.

Before he’d left work, he’d tried calling Robin. Then Eddie. Then Dustin. He even tried the Sinclair’s house and Max. Either they didn’t pick up or their respective families had told him they weren’t there.

He was absolutely mystified, especially when he found them all at Dustin’s house, having a movie night. Without him.

He was trying not to be hurt as he loved movie night with his friends.

“What are all you guys doing here and why didn’t I get an invite?” he frowned, “Also, I called you before I left work and you didn’t answer!”

He pointed an accusatory finger at Dustin who shrugged.

“Sorry, dude. We just got here.”

“Where have you been?” Steve asked, glancing around at them.

They all avoided his gaze and his suspicions rose.

“We had some errands to run,” Eddie shrugged, nonchalantly.

“Errands,” Steve repeated, dubiously.

They all gave him noncommittal shrugs and grunts.

“So were you just going to casually forget to invite me for movie night?” he folded his arms over his chest, giving them what they teasingly called his parental glare.

“We couldn’t, okay?” Lucas said, shrugging.

He was even more confused.

“What do you mean you couldn’t?”

“We promised we wouldn’t,” Robin clarified, though it cleared up nothing at all for him.

“Because we wanted to spend a night with Y/N and she wouldn’t have come if you were here,” Max snapped, fire in her eyes, “I haven’t seen her in a year, none of us have and I’ll be dammed if I let you ruin me seeing the best big sister I’ve never have just because you were an asshole that broke her heart. You may have suffered, but so have we because we miss our friend.”

His head was reeling. You were here? In Hawkins? How did he not know that?

“She’s here?” he asked, finding it hard to breathe.

“Well not yet, but-”

Dustin’s reply was cut off by the sound of the front door shutting.

“Sorry I’m late guys! I stopped by the store to grab some boxes of popcorn so we can-”

Your words faltered as quickly as you froze in place, seeing who was standing in the middle of the Henderson’s living room. You’d been insistent that you didn’t want to see Steve, but now that he was here…you were kinda glad.

Steve’s heart stopped. He was sure of it. There was no oxygen reaching his brain or his lungs. Nothing mattered but seeing you. You looked incredible, like you always did. You had that effortless beauty that he loved because you never truly grasped how beautiful he thought you were—are. Your lips were parted in a surprised “oh”, but the word never made its way past your lips.

My god, your lips. He missed them so much. Obviously he missed you in general, but he never realized how for granted he took the kisses shared with you. Whether it was gentle, passionate kisses, searing, desire filled ones or even the perfunctory peck when leaving or arriving, he realized more than ever in that moment how much he missed kissing you.

Apparently, he’d lost the ability to speak as well as he just stared, dumbfounded at you. You hadn’t changed much in a year, though your hair was now shorter, like you’d just recently cut it. He loved it, it brought even more attention to your pretty face.

You had an obscene amount of microwave popcorn boxes in the grocery bags in your hands—then again with this crowd it was like feeding 50 people, not eight.

“Hi,” you whispered, still stunned by his presence.

“Hi,” he whispered back.

He wanted to tell you that he regretted breaking up with you.

He wanted to tell you that he missed you so fucking much.

He wanted to tell you that letting you go was the worst thing he ever did, that he needed you in his life, by his side, so much.

He wanted to tell you how many times he’d drove past your house in the last year, pain slicing his chest like an ice blade ripping it open. He knew it was all his fault you were gone, but somehow, driving by your house was as peaceful as it made him full of sorrow. While you’d been gone, that’d been all he had left of you, that small sliver.

But now, here you were and he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

When his eyes landed on the silver heart locket on your chest, he lost all pretenses of holding it together as tears sprung to his eyes. You’d kept the necklace he’d given you. You were still wearing it.

His eyes met yours and you saw the realization in his. He saw the affirmation in yours. You’d kept wearing his necklace around your neck, quite literally a symbol of you still having his heart.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he said hesitantly, “I have a lot of things to say that I think you should hear.”

You said nothing, but it was the small smile that gave him hope. He would hold on to that thread for as long as it took you because if he was ever lucky enough to win you back, he was never going to let you go again.

After all, somehow, your road had led you back to him.

#steve harrington #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fic #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things blurb #stranger things angst #stranger things fluff

[mulderscully]

okay whatever i'm high and oversharing, so i am once again thinking about whether closure is something worth pursuing with my ex best friend.

brief summary. ex bestie was always prettier and more popular than me. she is a huge extrovert while i'm an introvert, you know the deal whatever. so somehow we're best friends in 6th grade. like idk in a few months i would've walked over hot coals for this girl. did i have a gay crush on her? i truly do not know. i think abt is constantly and i have no idea! but her love and approval was like... i NEEDED it.

then after a while she would get annoyed with me and drop me as a friend entirely. for months. no contact, nothing. then she'd tell people i was up her ass etc while we weren't friends.

then, she'd come back. she'd start talking to me like nothing happened and i'd come crawling back to her with open arms every damn time.

this went on for YEARS. months of promises to be maids of honor and friends til we die and sleepovers and laughing til we couldn't breathe. then she'd drop me. suddenly and entirely. this went on til the summer my mom died sophmore year.

those last 3 months my mom was alive we were not talking because she was mad at me for god knows what knowing my mom is ACTIVELY DYING. then the night my mom died she was the first person i called and she just immediately knew and RAN over to my house for like the first time ever. and she stayed with me all night and we became friends again.

then she never dropped me again. she went off to college and i stayed at home working and she'd call me every night, she'd come visit me, i would visit her. FOR FOUR YEARS. the longest we ever went.

then she went to grad school in miami and i cried the entire day she moved bc i knew she would never come back. this was her dream and she got it. and she asked me to come with her. for free. i said no, okay. i said no.

then we stopped talking. not a dropped thing just. she got a girlfriend and a busy job and it was just natural. but it hurt to call her and feel like i didn't know this person anymore, esp with how our friendship started and i started getting freaked out tbh.

so one december. i think 2018? i can't even remember! she comes to visit for christmas. we make plans for dinner and i made reservations and like. i'm literally at the restaurant when she texts me that she can't come bc she's too exhausted. and i just immediately started crying and left and decided i would never talk to her again.

and i only really believed that when i checked insta that night and she was out partying instead of with me.

and i was like i'm never talking to her again.

and i never have.

she texts me. says happy birthday. tells me she misses me.

but... i can't talk to her now. because i miss her so much and i hate her so much and i hate that she doesn't even KNOW i'm mad and i'm mad because i feel like she SHOULD KNOW. she should be sorry for EVERYTHING and she just is completely unaware and i don't know if that's unfair or not.

she invited me to her 30th bash in miami this december and i'm like so you still know i exist. what am i to you? did i ever matter to you as you did to me? why did you walk all over me and why did i LET you?

i just so badly want to ask her these things and still never talk to her. but i know... idk she makes me weak in a way i can't even explain to myself so idk if closure is possible or worth pursuing. but if i truly never talk to her again, it'll plague me til the end of my days that i didn't try? god i don't know.

broken hearts on christmas are 0/10 bc it comes back every year

#personal.

[fruitycatnoir]

another opinions post because aster has inspired me

TW MY OPINION

i strongly believe that in like at least 90% of every disney show, the show just goes downhill after season 3

for example, liv and maddie: cali style. one of my friends on instagram who has a liv and maddie account doesn’t post about season 4 because she hates it. she even has a pinned post of a small set of reasons why she hates it so much (and understandably so.) i mean, the dad left the show, diggie and maddie are together, they’re not in stevens point, wisconsin anymore? i like dina and ruby, don’t get me wrong, but like, cali style was so so bad

another example, someone’s going to crucify me for this one, is austin and ally. growing up, i had a HUGE crush on ross/austin, and for a bit, i hated the ship auslly. a few years later, i made a whole fanpage for auslly. now, i still like ross and A&A, but as for the ship, i’m neutral. anyway, in season 4, sonic boom changed to A&A music factory, austin’s hair was long?? EW? and it just wasn’t as enjoyable as seasons 1-3. also jace and trish didn’t end up together, excuse me? idk man i just never really liked season 4 of A&A

jessie is probably the only exception to this. all 4 seasons of jessie i loved.

good luck charlie i feel like is debatable. it was an interesting and fun 4 seasons, BUT, spencer and teddy should have NEVER gotten back together. i rest my case

hannah montana is also debatable. again with the ex’s, jake was in the picture (thank the GODS she and him didn’t end up together, i would have thrown hands). i like them being in a different place, i like lily living with them, but i do miss the old house they used to live in, and especially rico’s little shop (or whatever it’s called.)

did suite life on deck make it to 4 seasons? i don’t even remember

wizards of waverly place i think had a good season 4, especially the finale. i like the fact that mason and alex ended up together, juliet and justin ended up together, and both justin and alex got to keep their powers. i feel like max deserved more than the sub station but he did seem ecstatic about that i won’t complain

this one’s gonna hurt me like hell, but, lab rats. you guys know i love this show. it’s my favorite, it’s my comfort show, but i’m not gonna lie, i try to avoid bionic island when i’m watching it. it’s just not as fun as the other seasons. like, tasha isn’t really there, sometimes douglas is there more than donald, sebastian is there (yes this is a sebastian and sebase slander page), they started to make chase more annoying, and they’re not in mission creek anymore. i just think that season 4 of lab rats is my least favorite. i even like elite force better, and we all know how badly they wrote elite force

ravens home, bunk’d (even after season 2), those shows need to just stop. please.

#disney channel #austin and ally #liv and maddie #jessie #bunkd #good luck charlie #hannah montana #suite life on deck #wizards of waverly place #lab rats bionic island #ravens home #season 4

[drunkengodsofslaughter]

I'm sorry if this comes out of nowhere, but I was thinking about r//nance, lol. So, like in canon for me, it was ooc for Robin to want to befriend the girl who broke her bffs heart so badly, bc why would she you know. So I keep thinking maybe Steve, who already blames himself, just doesn't really say negative things about Nancy, like he deserved this kinda treatment. I mean still I wouldn't want to be friends with that person who makes my bff feel that way, especially because I heard rumors about cheating and Nancy did move on pretty quickly, like not even a week so that would raise red flags. Anyway, if we all ignore this and Robin thinks of Nancy as this great amazing person who she wants to spend time together, wouldn't she then ask Nancy about Steve and their relationship?? And if so, wouldn't Nancy then have to admit to Robin how she used Steve as a placeholder? And if Robin finds the whole truth, wouldn't she want to stay far away from Nancy? Like it just wouldn't make any sense, realistically why Robin would want to be close to her after everything. It wouldn't matter if Steve would only say positive things about Nancy or reassure her the hurt he felt was only because of his mistakes. Robin is smart she would piece one and one together, Nancy hurt her best friend, and she wouldn't let this slide. This is why I hate this whole plotline about Robin kissing Nancy's ass in s4, I know the show doesn't acknowledge Nancy's mistakes in Stancy, but omg. Not everyone has to be best buddies, especially if there is history.

It was sooo ooc for Robin to act this way, like she should have been wary and maybe a bit cold to her. If Steve was my best friend, I would not whorship the ground his ex walks on. Robin seems like to have the same principles. In Rebel Robin, she hates it that Barb ditched her for Nancy, like idk how canon those books are but if it's true it's another thing why Robin should have been at least a bit bitchy.

The fandom and the show, but mostly the fandom, just wants everyone to be bffs, disregarding the major conflicts and mistakes. Like no realistically, Jonathan and Steve won't be friends, Jonathan is Nancy's boyfriend who knowingly cheated with her on Steve. Steve and Nancy can't be friends because of the messy breakup. Like every teen is like negatively linked to someone, which creates this clusterfuck. The only reason why the kids can all be friends is because they never cross-dated and genuinely like each other. The teens are only together in the group bc of trauma, not because they want to.

it’s totally cool! i love talking about this :) yeah it was quite weird especially cuz she had reservations before about nancy and now she changed it like at the flip of a hat - it’s so weird. yeah i think steve totally believes he was at fault for the relationship so i don’t see steve telling robin an unbiased version anytime soon of how he was the one at fault. yes about the hearing rumors! okay i find it odd how fandom has no problem judging what tommy says in season 2 and doesn’t realize the implications that the entire school knows something is going on with nancy and jonathan. also people were at a party when steve and nancy had their fight so i do not see anyway really trusting their judgement that something even happened between the two of them cuz everyone was drunk and not fully paying attention. all people know is that steve and nancy had a bickering over and steve left without nancy like i don’t think people would only come to the conclusion that they broke up. like there would be so many different rumors about this situation - none of them where nancy and jonathan come out to look like good people in the public’s eye so robin who already had reservations about nancy wouldn’t want to make friends with her after knowing that she possibly cheated or that she just didn’t care about steve. yeah robin kissing nancy’s ass makes no sense like why ‘she’s full of surprises isn’t she?’ like ngl that comment didn’t make sense to me cuz robin herself was never really surprised at nancy on screen about her guns or etc.

omg yeah robin would totally ask about it but ngl i kind of don’t see nancy even admitting that she was also at fault. like she already has no problem not admitting her mistakes in canon and she heard steve say that he was a shitty bf (which i don’t agree with) but i can hardly see nancy having to admit that steve was a place holder to his best friend of all people. also like i think it would be in character for nancy to not admit anything cuz she doesn’t think she did anything wrong.

yeah robin could have acted cold to her like i genuinely think she would have the same energy that she at first had with steve in the first place with nancy! like regardless if robin did feel comfortable now in her own skin - she wouldn’t just automatically trust nancy! or even enthusiastically try to make friends when she had reservations about nancy in the first place! SHE CALLS NANCY A PRISS! and like you said about the rebel robin - she has a bunch of reasons to not like nancy (although i don’t think the books are really canon but honestly i love robin being friends with barb and then being upset that nancy came along and took her from her)

fucking everything you said in the last paragraph!!! the fandom just wants all of the teens to be besties and it’s like that’s not even remotely canon or how the characters feel!!! it’s also not how any of the dynamics are in canon ! like idk what fandom’s obsession is with making everyone want to be canon bestie cuz it’s so much more interesting when they aren’t! cuz they aren’t in canon!!!! and yes everything you said about the party too! literally everything you said in that last paragraph is so perfect

#answered asks #thanks so much for this #stranger things #anti ronance #just in case lol

[marley-manson]

VERY LATE BUT FOR THE FANDOM ASK THING: Xena and devilman

Thank you!

Xena:

The first character I first fell in love with: 

XENA!!! It actually took me a few seasons to really start to like Gabrielle lol, but Xena was obviously a fave.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Look I def can't say I love him lol, but Joxer really did grow on me eventually and I really didn't expect that. I went from seriously considering dropping the show when I realized he was going to be in many, many episodes, to crying a little when he died. Honestly I think the tipping point was Deja Vu All Over Again. I enjoyed his performance there so it made the actor himself less annoying to watch subsequently.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

Ephiny? I have very little interest in any of the individual Amazons, but fandom is often into them. I don't dislike them, but I don't really care.

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

It's not that everyone hates him, he has his own fanbase, but Ares as a Xena/Gab shipper lol. I love him but it kinda sucks because it means I'm wary about reading X/G fic where he's the villain. I don't mind him being a villain ofc, but he gets written so badly so often. One dimensional evil abusive ex Ares is an instant back-button (though tbf that's also bc it fucks with Xena as a power fantasy lol)

The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

I liked Livia just fine but hated Eve lol, does that count?

The character I would totally smooch: 

GABRIELLE <333

The character I’d want to be like: 

Xena lol, she's the ultimate power fantasy.

The character I’d slap: 

Joxer oh my god even if I did grow a little fond of him I still want to murder him a lot of the time.

A pairing that I love:

Xena/Gabrielle, and also Gabrielle/Aphrodite and Xena/Ares, usually as more emotionally one-sided where Gab and Xena are still more hung up on each other but Dite and Ares are strung along, or in Ares' case he plays second fiddle to a more important platonic relationship. Oh also Eve/Varia is good in theory but I've never seen any good fic for them. And Xena/Alti. And Callisto/Xena or Callisto/Gab. And Najara/Gab!! And Mel/Janice. Frankly there are so many good f/f ships that should have more fic.

A pairing that I despise: 

Joxer/Gabrielle I guess lol? I get some enjoyment out of Ares/Xena in the show, I get 0 from Joxer's crush on Gab.

Devilman:

The first character I first fell in love with: 

Ryo! Obviously he was fave material from the start, I knew what I was getting into.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Miki! She's surprisingly awesome and fun both in the manga and the Crybaby adaption.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

Hm, the Crybaby version of Akira sucks imo, and I assume most people love him.

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

A lot of people hated Crybaby Ryo lol, but probably not the majority, just some loud weirdos. Idk, who's hated?

The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

Saying Akira here bc I love him in the manga, do not like him in Crybaby, which is more recent.

The character I would totally smooch: 

Crybaby Miki is like exactly my irl type lol

The character I’d want to be like: 

I guess Crybaby Miki is like the only character who isn't a hot mess, and I would really admire her if I knew her irl. Totally get Miko lol.

The character I’d slap: 

Crybaby Akira, please chill tf out dude.

A pairing that I love:

Akira/Ryo ofc, they're the blueprint, but man I love Miki/Miki in Crybaby too, nothing like putting the original no homo love interest in lesbians.

A pairing that I despise: 

Akira/Miki

#thank you! #ask meme

[the-kipsabian]

just throwing together some misc alan wake 2 thoughts now that ive slept and had coffee after finishing the game. mostly talking end game, obviously spoilers

alice. alice intrigues me so much. that final stinger is incredible, for multiple reasons. that reveal following the series of photos of her seemingly killing herself is just.. yeah. i think that was not only her way of trying to getting back to alan, who she knew was trapped in the dark place at the bottom of the lake, but it was also to throw scratch off, to think that he won by tormenting her to her death. theres no light flickers in the background of that final video. she is free of scratch, but still clearly safe. maybe back in the dark place, but tbh im not sure if she ever actually escaped it in the first place. shes going to leave the place with alan. she has to, because they are each others rocks. they sink or swim together (it would also explain why she was able to contact saga while she was in the dark place)

speaking of saga, her mind place version of the dark place was just *chefs kiss*. it was an incredible, worked really well to demonstrate not only the power the dark place has on people, but also what kind of a character she really is. strong and independent, but so good to those around her. i really wish we got deeper into her friend and partnership with casey tbh, after hearing about his divorce (which, btw, loved the extremely casual drop about him and estevez just "bonding over their ex wives". amazing job remedy) and especially seeing the birthday photo in the mind place just. my heart. i really wish we got more casey in general, but i guess him being included in the story beats and echo visions as a hardboiled detective just needs to be enough. for now i say knowing full well im gonna dive super deep into fanfics when my brain fog lifts a little ough

my one big question was door. and maybe tim to that extent, considering the last page we read and we never fully got an explanation about doors involvement (im hoping ng+ explains this further?) but it refers to tim as his "unwilling disciple" - obviously tim was moved to the dark place against his will, but at the same time, why exactly and what is he doing? hes been trying to get out, to figure it out, he has a whole whiteboard of theories and yet. it all leads to door. and idk maybe i missed it somehow, but i never fully made that connection as to why and what doors game here is. which leaves me with questions for the next game/sequel/dlc. intriguing, but throwing that in last minute just felt kinda. idk remedy dont do this to me lmao

one thing im admittedly a bit disappointed about was them choosing to sacrifice alan for the ending. i mean i get it, at the point where we think alice is dead and saga makes it very clear that neither casey nor logan can be hurt and that they are both the heroes of the story, theres not much options left. like alan said, the horror story needs a victim. but also idk, i wish we could. have had a choice? multiple endings?? which i guess ng+ teased but we'll see. also it being left unanswered whether we were free from the darkness now or not, which i understand was intentional but idk im still a bit miffed about that one lol. logan not answering the phone. however saga did have a wedding ring on her finger (i did not observe this detail before so idk if it was just always there but it felt very significant in this scene as they didnt show her being lefthanded before so) which makes me think everything did get fixed, considering how badly david hated her during points in the story, so why would she still wear her wedding ring after all those years after what happened if this wasnt the good reality again. just saying

ALSO IM JUST SO GLAD CASEY IS ALIVE. STUPID BASTARD MAN I LOVE HIM SO

"its not a loop, its a spiral" has interesting implications, but i miss "its not a lake, its an ocean" tbh. i feel like that ending revelation held more power to it than this one, it just feels like a rehash for the sake of copying the original. like i get what they mean about this one (its not a constant changing loop, its a developing story moving forward that keeps expanding as it goes even tho it feels like its going in circles), but just as a saying it doesnt stand up to the original. thats all

the way, even if they are sharing a skin, alan and scratch are two different characters (im excluding zane from this equation for reasons as i dont think he was real [im fairly convinced it was scratch playing games with alan just pretending to be zane], but i wanna give special props to ilkka villi for his portrayal. immaculate job) and are written that way. the way they talk, the lines they have, there is a significant difference when you pay attention to it - i think its partially alans way of trying to dodge the blame and put it all on scratch, whereas scratch doesnt do that for himself, hes just trying to play into the emotional manipulation angle with the constant rush instead to get what he wants and to get people on his side and to trust him. which is a really good take, considering that hes using all common scammer tactics to try to fool people into giving him what he wants (also just god the transformation scene when this is revealed? permanently tattooed in my brain that was so goddamn good)

its also a very interesting take that the cult is actually the good guys. i also just love ilmos explanation for it; "what kind of a cult calls themselves a cult" like. yeah. yeah man you got a point there. but that being just a cover and a scare tactic to keep people safe? love that shit that was good (kinda high key mad we didnt get more of them after that. only that one last sad tv commercial, would have loved to give them a good ending too)

also the parallel of alan waking up from getting shot to the head vs earlier zane doing to same thing at the second meeting in the hotel. i havent stopped thinking about it tbh

just. a few thoughts. all in all idk i felt like the ending was missing something tbh. maybe i just missed something, but it feels like it was more of a setup for something in the future with everything than an ending to a full game and a sequel 13 years after the original. i have too many questions left, more than i entered into this mess with. that being said, absolutely loved the game itself, the story is insane and incredible, this has once again rewired the way my brain thinks about stories (plot board my beloved......), theres so much underneath the surface of a survival horror game that cant be explained, it needs to be experienced. there are sequences here that im unable to convey in words and feelings, you need to see them for yourself ("we sing" and the movie theater. iykyk)

just in general that cliffhanger like. why you do me like this remedy. why. i cant wait for 13 years for another sequel. goddamn

the ending tho, im. i dont know. in the first game we knew things were still kinda wrong, but it showed that everyone outside of alan seemingly got out of the things unscathed for the most part (i mean we lost nightingale, rose went kinda loopy, there were signs that not everything and everyone was right but for the most part the town and people in it were safe), but here we dont see any of it. the happy deerfest is nothing but scratch's illusion. so idk if im meant to believe that shooting alan was the fix and everything went back to normal, like normal normal before this man was pulled into the lake, or since he was still seemingly alive after that, are we still living in the happy deerfest illusion forever while the darkness spreads to the land outside of it? i have so many questions and this ending didnt answer a lot of them tbh lmao

theres so much here i cant fit here my brains still very rattled from all of this and i keep getting more questions the longer i think about it so im gonna leave it here. i'll probably see you later with more when ng+ and/or dlc releases, as hopefully those will explain more

10/10, absolutely my game of the year ngl

..one thing to leave you with. fuck the boss fights in this game lmao

#alan wake #alan wake 2 #aw2 spoilers #that is all for now. just. video games man #i have a lot of feelings and idk where to put them or how much sense this makes but here you go #i got more idk feel free to ask something if youre curious i guess lol #night is an absolute mess on main

[wtfevenami]

Tw: sh, vent

I want to cvt so badly but I can’t because I have homecoming in a month and my dress has strap sleeves so my entire arms are gonna be visible and I’m trying to reassure myself that I can cvt again after but I can’t even go straight home and cut because I’m having my friends spend the night and idk. I might take the blade with me to the shower and cut in there so they don’t know.

This really sucks rn though because I have had a shit day. I asked the admin at my school if I could start a qsa after I had gotten some people that were interested and a teacher who agreed to be the supervisor for it and they said no because the diocese doesn’t allow it. Except they didn’t just email me back about it, no no no, they made my teacher talk to me about it. Extra context: she’s pregnant rn and we had watched a chipotle ad earlier in the period that had a sad cow and she was like okay I’m not gonna cry this time, no one is crying today.

So she comes over to me while the other tables are discussing the worksheet and she tells me that the qsa got rejected because, in her words, “the diocese’s policies are fucking bullshit”, and she said she was sorry. Then she says that apparently my math teacher outed me to admin, which idrc that much, but apparently they’re breaking the rules by calling me by my last name which really is bullshit because it’s still my legal name but whatever. And she started telling me how she could never fully understand how hard it is to be transgender and that she’s really sorry that I’m in a not great situation with it and basically telling me that the teachers there love me for me and that it’s okay and uh yeah that’s the first time I’ve ever cried during any class.

But then my ex started being a bitch for no reason so that’s lovely. So great to know that the only time you’re going to say something not “hurtful” (he thinks it is, it’s nothing compared to what I’m already telling myself everyday) to me is during academic team which is literally going to be keeping me alive this year because I have 3 classes with any of my friends. And I’m pretty much going to be eating lunch alone every day because everyone in my lunch period hates me for some goddamn reason. Except for Wednesdays and early dismissal days, those days I’m not eating lunch because it’s easier to just go sit in the media center and read for 45 minutes.

#tw self destructive behavior #self h@rm #i want to cvt #$h tumblr #$h #self h@te #cvutting #tw depressing stuff #baby cvts #tw vent #tw #tw s3lf harm #tw sh #tw self harm #tw mental illness #tw disordered eating #tw food #tw body issues

[thebrokengate]

I still think Vol2 sucks. I get that Duffers wanted us to ''feel the lost'' but feeling the loss and feeling the bad writing are different things.

Max's death was handled badly. I know she's going to come back probably but what I'm talking about is that her first escape from Vecna was good and then her death made no sense. Why El did bring her back to life but not really? I mean, she's not exactly there as well so what's the point? Why did they use the Dear Billy scene where they showed how Max overcame Vecna but killed her after?

Eddie's death is still trash. Heck, I don't want him to come back because I hate when characters come back again and again. But let's be real his death made no sense. I don't care about Eddie as a character that much but his death was badly written.

Jason's and Brenner's deaths were predictable so no comment on that (I also sincerely hope that they won't Brenner back again because dear god...)

Not gonna talk about the way they handled Will's character and basically tortured him and made Mike's character trash it's a fact that Melvin still sucks and Mike's dynamic with both El and Will are off. It's like he doesn't even know what he is doing anymore. Associating El with her superpowers and calling her a superhero while distancing her from 'humanity' and saying contradictory shit many times during the monologue (saying he loves her without her powers but then continues to capitalize on how great her powers are and how she is a superhero) saying his life started the day Will went missing, the whole monologue being prompted by Will and running off Will's feelings from the van. What was the purpose? Let's be real, this was trash for each character involved. Are we supposed to believe Mike is a decent person? Honestly, El and Will should escape from him ASAP. Mike just doesn't even know what he is doing anymore and I just don't understand how the Duffers are even going to fix this mess with Mike's character. I don't care about the romance, really. Even from a platonic perspective, it doesn't sound good for him. Was he just speaking at the heath of the moment? Was he truly telling the truth and believing in everything he said? Then that means he doesn't understand El and Will at all, Im sorry. Oblivious or not, still Mike is a bad character to me. Saying he didn't say he loved El because he was afraid she wouldn't need him made no sense. She was literally crying her eyes out when she was beginning Mike to say the words before. She clearly needed him there and wanted to hear the words. Mike didn't even flinch a bit and proceeded to gaslight her. Let's be real bro Mike's character cannot be fixed and the amount of justification is hilarious ATP.

Erica and Lucas getting hate-crimed basically sucked. That scene was hard to watch. Is the minority characters getting hatecrimed and tortured a theme now?

El's powers makes no sense to me tbh. It's like they're giving her random powers atp. How was she able to re-start Max's heart? Also her sacrifice actually meant nothing because Vecna still won and the Hawkins got destroyed so again, what was the point? The way they handled Max's character this volume is annoying. I get what they were trying to do but still it was sloppy.

Also, Robin and Vickie only talked for a couple of minutes and Vickie spent more time on kissing her now ex boyfriend than to talk to Robin. What was the point? To draw parallels to Will/Mike? Still shit writing imo. We didn't even get to see Robin happy properly.

Idk man things sucked hard tbh. It's like Vol2 was just there to create drama and cool stuff and shit instead of providing actual quality writing with substance. I'm done man lmao. I wish I've never watched this volume to begin with.

I do agree with a lot of what you said, tbh, but there are a few things I also disagree with so I'll try to break down my response by individual number because there's so much to go over here, lol.

I know Max's death was one of those things that had to happen, but it shouldn't have because it lessens the impact of her Dear Billy escape and that still pisses me off. I cannot even begin to explain how much that pissed me off because now every time I go back to that episode, I don't get the emotion from it that I used to because her escaping what she kept saying was her fate is what made the scene powerful. For her to have an amazing and moving escape like that only to die later takes so much away from it.

His death was fucking pointless, I agree. Next.

Absolutely, and the predictability of Vol 2 pissed me off even more with it.

I still think that was purposeful, and if it's not in 2 years and they really used Will just to build up Melvin, then that's fucking horrible and the backlash they'll receive for that will be huge. Using Will's feelings, even with as fucked up as that is, didn't even fix Melvin either. Nothing is resolved here, and Mike just used what Will told him in the van because he thinks they're El's feelings. Doesn't make it better, but it is what it is, I guess. They should've just ended Melvin in Vol 2, I still think, purposeful or not (as we'll see in 2 years), because it was already going that way and they've dragged this shitshow out for too long already.

Unfortunately seems to be a running theme at least this volume. It's not a good look.

That literally came out of fucking nowhere, and there's basically no limits now. If she can revive people, how is there going to be any future danger? Especially if she gets good at it later on? I don't know. I kind of hate that they basically made her Jesus, lol.

Really really hope they'll develop Robin and Vickie's story together more next season, because I absolutely agree. The parallels are one thing, but being all Vickie's kind of used for right now is pretty shit, ngl.

I still have my beef with Vol 2 as well, analysis aside. Some things make more sense now, but it still doesn't really make it any better to me. Not to mention the pacing of Vol 2 and the characters that were slightly out of character, and so many of the good moments were improvised. Not that there's anything wrong with improvisation and actors do have good ideas sometimes, but it made me feel like they still cared less about the writing of Vol 2 and rushed a lot of things.

#ask styx #stranger things 4

[zalrb]

hi! idk if youve watched manifest (not recommending its a bad show lmao) i watched it by chance with my mom bc it was trending on netflix and now i saw recently that its been renewed and it reminded me of the potential of this one ship. its called jachaela and its an example of ships that have a bad narrative ? or are somehow set up for disaster, which i felt is unfair given the history of the two characters. now bc i am a regular on your blog, i know a thing or two about chemistry and i dont think anything really stands out in that show its just them and baanvi (?) that i like but i dont think they have much chemistry, im just convinced by jared rather. everyone says this ship is toxic and what not but i cant stand the other ship its soooo boring and flavorless and like the female lead is so damn wishy washy, she keeps running away from jared, yet expects him to be there for her like hes still her fiance when shes a whole married woman (to someone else btw). ugh very annoying, i dont recomend but if you could please look at some gifs of jachaela with some context and tell me what you think are examples of ex lovers coming back from the dead and having lingering feelings trope done right bc this show is badly written so obviously they couldnt get this trope right with jachaela.

So I watched a few scenes and literally just went ugh because at least this scene

reminded me so much of Leyton

which reminded me of Delena

and I felt like Tywin Lannister

like any couple who has to say these things are no true soulmates, which isn’t necessarily true it’s just that these are all obnoxious to me because you need chemistry to make melodramatic dialogue work.

I don’t watch this scene

and think they’re tortured and in love, I watch it like get a fucking grip. I hate Olitz so much and if ever “The Light” plays on my spotify, I end up just mocking their dialogue because it’s really fun to do and there is a very big you two are fucking adults response that I have to their relationship but their chemistry makes me believe they’re tortured (just tortured for no good reason because their narrative is weak)

Like watching their scenes reminds me of Cami and Klaus where I’m like you two are trying so hard to create this tension and create this drama and create this feeling around each other

and I can see you straining,

it falls flat

like

really? cause I can’t tell, you’re just staring at each other with dead faces, JTV definitely had its tropes and its dialogue because, you know, telenovela but the chemistry was there so the tropes and the dialogue were enhancements rather than things to rely on

I don’t need “you still take my breath away” because

their angst isn’t strained

Like, I did not grow up with Piper and Leo

and Buffy and Angel

Hell, Ross and Rachel

Olivia and Elliott (WHO WEREN’T EVEN TOGETHER)

Even Ryan and Marissa

for this:

No, no, no, no.

[randombubblegum]

Sydney, what is your opinion about self sabotage lyrics?

LOL wellllll on one hand, i think they are indeed indicative of how awsten treats the girls he dates???? like he really just, uh, explains exactly the cruel manipulative gaslighty shit he pulls on romantic partners right there in the song huh. i guess my opinion is also colored by the fact that his last gf legit confirmed in response to self-sabotages lyrics that yeah he acted exactly the way hes describing (and more, like making her delete pics of her in crop tops and shit) which is like. that….. sucks?

i think it kind of boils down to (and his ex also said this but this is my take) that he thinks hes like the main character of every relationship hes in, friend or partner or whatever. so when he acts badly or does jerk shit just because he feels bad/to get a reaction/whatever, hes not thinking of how that affects the actual living breathing person hes doing it to. he only thinks about “what the fuck is wrong with me :( im sad” like IN THE LYRICS EVEN…….

i think that is…. kind of an insane thing to cop to in a song? like obviously not all lyrics in songs are 1 to 1 “this is how i really feel and act” but awstens lyrics ARE by his own admission (and again we have the tweets from his ex to corroborate it) which makes this feel….. uhhhh. uhhh kinda bad?

but also, on the other hand, i cant even say i hate this song LOL i like it better than fg or brainwashed (extremely low bar to clear but whatever) because i LIKE songs about self destruction. i LIKE songs where its like, im the monster and theres something wrong with me and i keep lashing out just to see what happens, or because it hurts, because i want to see what youll forgive me for, or whatever. that can make really good lyrics. but i think SS misses the mark??? like it just isnt…. quite…. good…… even in the context of a song like that yknow???

i guess im kinda thinking of old fall out boy songs where pete writes about being like, a self-destructive kind of fuckup and those are GREAT songs that i love……… and this is kinda like a shittier version of that. idk. its also all over the place like okay you want this to work so bad but them you launch back into all this sociopath shit youre doing to some girl and then back to “but i want what i cant have” but also you want to get away from her so bad WHERE does it connect….. you are not pete wentz. and you never will be

i guess in summary: lyrics are pretty shitty with the added context of how he treats girls, i still kinda like the song tho????? its not rly like “HERES A SMOKING GUN OF HOW AWSTEN ABUSES WOMEN” like some people are trying to paint it but its also not a really poignant self-destructive anthem like he was trying for (and like i frankly wish it were). its like……. fine. its just whatever. the instrumentals are good lol

#i like when yall start asks with my full name it makes me feel like im on a panel or something LOL #anyway this is subject to change idk ive only listened to it like 10 times and thats more than fg or bw combined #ALSO if u sent an ask about like. dog girl or song girl ill get to them in the morning!!! not ignoring u #theres just a lot and i want to keep them together #mail time! #neg

[normanbased]

It really does get kind of bizarre how people talk about him. I think my first real dive into him was this podcast episode about psycho 3 and it had a strange tone from what I remember. Basically the gay community shouldn’t claim him at all because he wasn’t gay in his words. Which idk maybe that’s fair! but it was weird even to my more neutral ears.

I RANTED here, putting it under a cut because I didn’t edit it and it’s looong, but thank u for sending this so I could sound off about this topic <33

It’s such a ridiculous position to hold because Tony — regardless of how badly he tried to hide it — was gay. It’s even a stretch really to call him bisexual.

Conversion therapy doesn’t actually work, and it actually baffles me how many people still think that it does and use that as an excuse to say - “oh, well, he did conversion therapy so he’s straight!!” - like… that is quite literally not how it works.

He was traumatised and tortured. He internalised his shame so deeply that he took on the persona of a straight man, to the point he got married and had kids all to play a very orchestrated part. And it didn’t work. He continued to have affairs, to ask after ex-lovers, to aggressively cruise to fulfil a part of himself that he was failing to throttle out.

That’s not to say that he didn’t love his wife or his kids, I’m very sure that he did. There isn’t anything in the literature that contradicts that. Tony was known to be a very loving father. He wasn’t faithful (even Andy Warhol knew that) but I think he loved Berry. Maybe that’s as far as you can go to suggest that he was bisexual, but Osgood Perkins Jr doesn’t seem to think that’s valid. He openly referred to his father as just being ‘gay’ in Queer for Fear.

I think to ever call him bisexual would be to imply that — in some way, the conversion therapy worked. It didn’t.

And to claim he was straight? Looking back with all the evidence to the contrary from so many close sources, his friends, his family — it just feels like revictimising him, like continuing to force him into a box that he was never going to fit into. He didn’t want to be “fenced in” to quote his favourite song — and yet people keep doing it. People keep pushing him into the same restrictive heterosexual cage that the Paramount executives did, that the press did, that Mildred Newman did as she put him through electroshock.

Maybe I’m doing the same thing now by adamantly assuring my stance that he was gay. Who knows what label Tony would have claimed aside from him? I just think it’s clear from the literature that he didn’t want to be straight because that was his true sexuality, he did it because of societal and institutional pressures, the weight of which were fucking killing him.

If the LGBTQIA+ community won’t claim him, who the fuck will? Homophobes who will try to use him as evidence that conversion therapy works? (To reiterate, it fucking didn’t) — Where else could a gay man who died of AIDS possibly belong than with us? He was one of us whether he wanted to be part of the active Pride movement or not, and when he came to the end of his life, he acknowledged that he’d never received so much love than he did from the AIDS (and in turn, the wider LGBTQIA+) community.

I think any gay person who rejects Tony from the LGBTQIA+ community fails to understand the nuances of his circumstances, or those of any person who has to remain closeted, or is forced through conversion torture, or is suffering from internalised homophobia.

It’s not just black and white. His entire life was grey and muddy and full of uncertainty, self-doubt, guilt — I mean for fucks sake, he thought he murdered his father with prayer when he was five. He thought God was going to kill him for it. Who knows what sort of fear he was feeling as an adolescent, growing up and realising he wasn’t interested in women? How can any gay person be blamed for their own fear, resultant from a society that hates them? People act like Tony chose this for himself because he hated gay people or because he thought being straight was morally superior.

I think it’s as simple as he was afraid of being rejected by society. How can he be antagonised for that?

#tw homophobia #tw conversion therapy

[anarchistettin]

Yours is a perspective I've never encountered before now. I'm interested in hearing your take on groups (I would call them cults as a neutral descriptor but I'm asking in good faith here and idk if that would come off badly) like Heavens Gate, The Peoples Temple, NXIVM, Aum Shinrikyo, etc.

Not surprising that it's new for you! If you let on that you don't hate the out-group, people hate you & assume all the worst. That doesn't change. Nobody wants you to find out they don't hate the people they're supposed to hate.

Heaven's Gate, the Jim Jones tragedy, & Branch Davidians come to most people's minds, because the term CULT CULT CULT was hammered in at those times. Before that it was Manson, but the door was opened before that by scary-lookin people spanging for Hare Krishna temples in the airports, and ISKCON.

By that time, in the 1960s, it was no longer okay to keep saying BLACK BLACK BLACK. You had to find a new enemy.

I'd love to talk about my experiences in communicating with CoG members fleeing the implosion of their scene, but it would muddy the waters I guess. Some folks in those days were very upset with me for not being cruel to the CoGs. Oh well! One of the things about hate-buzz like CULT CULT CULT is how it muddies the waters. Fortunately for me, I don't give a shit how y'all "see" me, & don't have anything to gain from you. I don't even think you'll agree, so I might tend to leave off trying to be persuasive.

I've already judged, is the thing ^_^ harshly it's not permanent or specific - I just don't believe in the quality of mind. Really smart seeming people are still in the grip of this sexy allowed-to-hate-them vibe and there's no talking anyone out of it. I know.

But the vast majority of cults are people you haven't heard of, mainly because they're not exciting, but also because they've worked to keep it that way. They don't want other people coming around; that's why they culted up.

They were cults! Heaven's Gate & all'em. And I don't get riled when people are using the terminology in good faith. It's just that they never are. They always (always) mean the Bad Kind of People. What baffles me about that, still, is that so many of you have now seen how that's a tactic, and how it threatens your violent horrible death.

Maybe say "good cult" every now and then, if you're interested in earning my respect (or overturning my judgement. good luck)

The fuck of it for me is that I've had to see the death. I made a post about it somewhere, that deaths by violence outnumbered deaths by AIDS in my life. Stunning to realize. Cops #1, jilted exes #2, and Random Awful Bullshit #3. Watching traumatized loved ones get hauled off to jail for the crime of not having been murdered was a defining moment in my feelings about this particular habit.

Cults are no different than other groups of people except for being natural. The other models for not killing each other are built on the skeleton of the cult (& that other similar natural model y'all love to hate: the tribe) because that's how culture is made, that's how ways of life come into being.

& that's why you've been conditioned to think Heaven's Gate or Aum Shinrikyo instead of Homegrown Veggies or A Healthful Indigenous Lifestyle. Simply refraining from slandering people you don't know fails to serve your true master, your true charismatic leader & spiritual center: God's White Father.

One unsupportable belief that life in a cult has given me: they're better than you. I'm not - I'm like y'all, basically - but they, the others in that family, are so much better. Unlike me they aren't willing to engage & don't believe there's any point to trying to get people to stop being murdering assholes in the service of their various churches & state officials. But they'd never think about you the way I do - they'd never be angry or hurt by it. They're better than that.

#except for Dev he's a bitch #it is really hard for me not to be angry #but I thank you #fwiw

[gessshoku]

13. thoughts on pre-glitch sun?

14. thoughts on pre-glitch moon?

19. do you think you'd get along with the dca if you met them irl?

I’m not sure if they showed a canon pre-glitch for sun and moon so I’ll go with what the fandom has. Not sure what thoughts I should say if like I’m supposed to share what I think they would be like or what I think they are like..

Pre-glitch sun: I’d imagine he’d be less frantic and less uh…idk the words but less “AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!~” Y’know? Less anxious. It would be weird since I’m used to the current sun, but also maybe he’d be better at handling kids calmly? Like not freaking out every time they went to the desk.

Oh! But I did hear this theory that his system was corrupted so Vanny would steal kids and sun would think she was their guardian so he’d give them to her and later regret it, I do think that’s plausible and also angst worthy *looks at hidden comic* very sad indeed. I would think it’d affect him badly since before he was this person that would bring children to their home safe, they’d come back, cycle repeats and they have a blast but now, some don’t come back and they never will.

Pre-glitch Moon: I have heard he’d be more gentle and wouldn’t have the red eyes! He wouldn’t say things like “bad children must be punished” which I think is sweet. The kids would’ve loved him and sun wouldn’t be afraid or nervous whenever kids would get near the office desk (well he’d get nervous cause of breaking the rule. Not the lights being turned off) He would sing lullaby’s and tell bed time stories, which I would love but that’s just me-

Do I think I’ll get along with them in real life? I would hope so! Well with sun, he’s really loud and fast pace, wants to go here and there and as a kid I was more the type to read and do my own thing, more shy and quiet. I still am that, also I hate loud abrupt noises and get overstimulated easily if I hear too much loud music/noises. I think I’d wed do well with hide and seek and drawing! I wouldn’t mind a puppet show either and just talking! The closest I’ve had a sun in my life, was an ex who wanted constant attention (because they had no one else to talk to which is fine) but it was draining and they wanted to do activities and such and I would’ve rather just stayed home and slept, AND I NEVER SLEEP!!! So maybe we’d get along like.. when my social battery is at 100% but constantly I wouldn’t survive <:3

With moon I think I’d be more comfortable with him, in terms of the quiet. But I feel it’s be too quiet, also I get nervous with people I admire or just like in general, like I gotta make some kind of conversation or do smth! We could talk and I’d enjoy it, read stories and just nap! Well I would nap- It would definitely ease my social battery drainage but my nerves and anxiety would sky rocket if we just stood in silence. Not to mention if he has the virus and is chasing me around I would breakdown and start crying and screaming my head off I’m pretty sure I’d break him from how high I can scream (I can sing at a pitch that makes peoples ears ring, according to my friend who taught me to sing hnG-) So uh… in short: Sun would drain my social battery and Moon would make me extremely anxious that I’d pray to god who I haven’t seen in years to forgive my sins and I’d go to church if moon would just start a conversation-

But if the idea where both sun and moon are adults and can act like one (we don’t see much of it in the game which is what I was going off of) then I’m sure we’d get along fine. I just need to recharge sometimes and other times I wanna wreck havoc on the world :D which is why I like them both! They both balance that need of mine where I wanna do this and go here and run around and just be active and stuff but then I’m drained and I wanna wind down and nap or be in the company of someone quiet <3

#GOD THESE ARE SO MUCH FUN #THANK YOU SI MUCH MIZ I LOVE YOU #this was… very long- #overall I would love them if I ever saw them in person #i would show respect and probably would be too shy to intimate anything first #gess box of cookies #I’ll be in the corner of the day care praying they’d notice me and talk to me #your boi ain’t social✨ #ESPECIALLY WITH PEOPLE THEY ADMIRE AND LOVE #LOVE IN EVERY ASPECT #so yea that’s a thing about me that applies to everyone :D #putting myself on blast that’s fine-

[pulsedemonremastered]

talking 2 myself, about bbp (1pc oc) , &a possible second, more literal/direct self insert

got longer than i intended so ill probably ? move it to gdocs later . but i might just leave it up in his tag. for personal reference/my own ease of access

rbs are off but, you're more than welcome to come in & read it ^_^

bbp isn't a terribly direct self insert. he's not LITERALLY me, more than anything, he's. well, not even "symbolic of me" more or less he's my fursona mushed around into his own character

a lot about him fills an ideal of sorts, though. a fantasy, to be a big hairy woman with a medium sized, tight knit group of friends. to really be able to work hard, play hard. able to eat, drink and be merry

people listen when he talks, he's respected, and respectful in turn (in that pirate-y sort of way) , & he doesn't start shit, but he can finish it. a guy who knows who he is

i don't want to be him exactly. but i do want a little slice, of all that. a solid sense of self. friends, food, fun. to not be talked over and pushed aside, interrupted or ignored in almost every conversation

it's kinda . something. that this is a wish fulfillment oc for me

couhgs . anyway

i think itd be funny if bbp threatened to eat enemies. occasionally. while he was in his embiggened state. it's just a bluff, though, he only uses it on crews he knows will buckle when he sticks the guy in his mouth. doesn't use it on ruthless captains, hes not gonna swallow a guy

if i made a direct to world translation of myself into one piece, actually ? thinking about it i would make a great cabin boy. i HAD been thinking i would probably be just some dude in my house somewhere

but i can be woken up at odd hours and just start movin. it's a trait of mine i have a love hate relationship with. but i can do it. did it just this morning

& i like to haul things around. i pusha the box, you got box? ill push it for FREE! dont worry about it!

&i like helping out just in general. i make a good errands guy. &also a good "guy who goes with the guy who's going on an errand as a second set of hands". and also i like going along for things

im a "can i getcha anything" kinda dude. do you want anything while im in the kitchen? while ive got the griddle hot, the kettle going?

and with how i grew up irl, i absolutely would have been kicked out in my early to mid teens for wanting to be masc. i will spare you too many of the gritty personal details and just boil it down to: my ex stepdad, sucked . Badly

i would absolutely have chopped off my hair and run away to become a pirate . and i am not one who is known to climb the ranks. so id probably still be a cabin boy now, at 24.

& ive always been the sort people trust with information. for some fuckin reason. in school my friends would always come to me with secrets and im gonna be honest. they usually just slid right off my dome.

but hey, they were right. in their belief that their secrets were safe with me . because i forgot 💕

im also nosy as fuck but i like to think it's in a pleasant sort of way ? hopefully. nobody's told me otherwise

like i don't pry. you don't have to tell me but i would love to know ^_^ and usually people will tell me

idk the train of thought has arrived at the station . i wasn't done with it but i laid back down and im chilling now

#big bad pig #talking to myself