#idk if I should put a trigger warning on this

[maka1aure]

thinks about the scene in the house of healing where Aragorn points out that Eowyn got fucked up mentally because of how she was treated at home... and Eomer - who had just gone from thinking Eowyn was killed, to realizing she was not dead but dying, and then to the immense relief of knowing she's been stabilized, all within the span of a day - now has to realign AGAIN to the fact that she had in fact been trying to kill herself by being out on the battlefield.

And he has to process that he might've been part of why that happened.

#I feel really bad for him #he's got a lot going on #idk if I should put a trigger warning on this #eomer

[calamaricollie]

Did a funny

#tw #idk if i should put a trigger warning on this #bah i wil #SA TW #Vocaloid

[ineed-to-sleep]

Watching the machine do the thing is kinda cool actually

#idk if I should put any trigger warnings in this?? if anyone needs me to tag this let me know!! #I like the noise it makes too but I didn't manage to record much of it 😔 #sleep.txt #sleep.png #every time I think this tattoo can't hurt any worse it hurts much worse fjfjjfkdkfk BUT #we're almost finished 🙏🏻 #I'll just need one more session now and it'll be complete #also the machine is pink jdjdjdjd her gloves are pink she has a whole pink thing going #also I was mesmerized when I saw it but the little packets her needles come in have like. little cat ears on them #it's the cutest thing

[loserchildhotpants]

I’m very frightened every time I get on my husband’s motorcycle with him. 

He’s a very responsible driver, that is in no way the problem - he doesn’t take unnecessary risks, he isn’t a daredevil type, and having been in a terrible wreck as a young teen, he has a certain appreciation for the dangers of the road that I don’t have, because I haven’t lived through something like that.

I trust him with my life, implicitly.

I fear what a negligent driver may do, or if some other random event of terribleness might befall us while we ride, though.

I’ve lived with anxiety disorders for more of my life than not - one of the most painful parts of living with the trauma and the disorders I have is that I remember what I was like before them. Before they took root. I remember the child I was, fearless and adventurous. I try to feed that part of me, breathe life back into it by doing things like this because I’m angry I was robbed of that - so, I put my trust in the man that loves me, and I get on his motorcycle. 

In a strange way, I reach some level of zen while on the bike. I don’t know if I’m right about it, but I have a theory as to why that is; it’s sort of like Anxiety Input rates finally match the Anxiety Output rates, and so I wind up feeling very calm and centered.

Most of the time, my spine is producing enough cortisol to outrun a lion (my physician’s words, not mine), even while I’m just sat on the couch. But if you put me on a motorcycle, driving on winding roads anywhere between 45mph and 80mph, that cortisol is suddenly appropriate - my spine is no longer at odds with my environment.

If you’ve never been on a motorcycle as a passenger or even a rider, this may be something you don’t know; when the bike leans, you need to lean with it. That might feel dangerous, counterintuitive, but if you pull in the opposite direction, you’ll send it careening. Lean with the driver and the bike, even if you’re going 70mph around a long, curved, on-ramp.

That is a very difficult concept when you live with chronic, horrendous anxiety. As in most ventures of wellness, my husband is my rock, though. He leans, and I lean with him, because I trust him. He loves me, he is the only person I have never doubted loves me. He would do anything for me, he would never put me in harm’s way, and so if he is leaning, it must be safe to lean, and I will lean with him. 

It can be particularly frightening when we’re taking a turn so severe that I can sense the asphalt getting nearer.  We’ll be almost parallel with the ground, and that’s scary, but I can do it if it’s with him. I feel safe with him.

There’s a bridge we used to ride over all the time back when we lived in SC - the bridge connected a lot of highway traffic in and out of Savannah, GA, so it was busy, and fast (think maybe 60-80mph). It was also 135ft above the Savannah River. We would get so high up, so fast, my ears would pop at the altitude change. Objectively, a terrifying adrenaline rush. 

I would feel such peace there, though.

One time, I let go of my husband while we crossed the bridge. As we neared its apex, I spread my arms out, and shut my eyes. The music in my helmet was blasting, the wind was severe so high up, I had to clench my thighs hard around the bike and my husband to keep balance, to keep on the bike, but for a moment I was flying.

I remember I only took that risk once, because letting go of the rider is a bad idea in general, but I just needed to know what it would feel like. Just once.

When I put my arms back around him, I remember I was laughing to myself a little, I felt like I might cry, but I wasn’t sure why.

I stared at the back of his neck, and that’s actually what got me writing this. I was sitting down and trying to write something else entirely, but I got to thinking about the back of my husband’s neck, which I am well-acquainted with because of the motorcycle riding.

He has a strong neck, strong trapezes, his hair comes to a point at the base of his skull. He’s got these thick, luscious tresses of red hair, but when he has his helmet on and I can only see the base of his skull, the back of his neck, I see those fine hairs there, tangerine and lemon, coming to a perfect point at the center of the first knob of his spine. 

His neck, like the rest of him, is freckled, little cafe au lait spots smattered across his skin, and he has something kind of like a mole, but it’s pale. Not a skin tag, but something else. I don’t know what it is, I just know it’s on the right side of the back of his neck, it’s only very slightly risen like a mole might be, and I like it like I like all of his body and skin. 

Sometimes I’ll look at the back of his neck while he rides, and I’ll think, ‘I may die on this contraption. It could be any second now. Some semi won’t check their blindspot, some drunk asshole that got behind the wheel will veer, someone looking at their stupid fuckin’ phone will round a corner too fast and not see us, someone will run a light, a stop sign, we’ll hit gravel or sand and it will send the wheels into a tizzy, we’ll hit a puddle that’s covering a deep pothole, we’ll run over glass from a prior crash that wasn’t cleaned up, and we’ll spin out, and I’ll go tens of feet into the air, and I’ll break every bone in my body when I land, or I’ll die on impact, or we both will, but if it’s now, if it’s like this, okay.’ 

Every time I get on that bike, I think, ‘I am agreeing to the terms; this may be the last thing I ever do, this activity is particularly dangerous, the drivers near here are maniacs on good days, anything could go wrong. I understand the terms, and I agree to them.’ 

Maybe it’s that I’m with my husband, and I tell him how grateful for him I am all the time, how much I love him, I wax poetic about him every chance he gives me, I tell him every day how handsome he is, to drive safely, that I love him so much, that I miss him when he’s gone from me, and so I can be okay with the last thing I ever see being the back of his neck, because everything that I absolutely need to say has already been said.

Sometimes, when we ride, I’ll pretend I’m back in time. As if I’m very old, dying in a bed somewhere else, and I’m time-traveling back to wherever, whenever it is I’m with him, and I think, ‘oh, right, we used to do this - we would go on his motorcycle, and it felt just like this.’

It’s sort of how I romanticize the present. I treat it like it may already be gone, like it’s a fond memory I’m revisiting, and I’m getting to experience my youth again, the crazy things I did, how absolutely insane I was about my husband, how much fun I had with my friends - I do this when I’m off the bike too, but I do it consistently on the bike.

Maybe because I’m scared I’ll die on it.

I’ve devoted my husband’s likeness to memory as much as I can because the nature of dissociation is that it steals my memories and emotions from me, even when I want them back very badly, and so I can see in my mind’s eye very clearly what the back of my husband’s neck looks like.

The elegant lines that make up the strong column shape of it, how it slopes into his broad shoulders, the delicate, sensitive, freckled skin of it, the pale mole on the right side, the fine point his hair comes to at the base of his skull, all sunset colors on white sand.

Maybe when I do die, someday, I’ll shut my eyes and see that. I’ll see the back of his neck, I’ll hear music thrumming around my head, I’ll feel the wind whipping all around me, and I’ll take flight, and I’ll think to myself, ‘oh, this isn’t so scary after all. I know this feeling. I remember how this felt,’ and I’ll be calm and feel loved and safe, even when, by all rights, I shouldn’t.

#melanie lives #personal #idk if there's like trigger warnings i should put on this #idek why i wrote this down tbh #got no one to talk to laid up sick at home so im talking to my void #hello void

[ribbonpinky-art]

want to cry!!!!!! fatphobia makes me want to cry so hard

a cute pic of Seiran and chubby Ringo, then boom next panel Seiran is making Ringo do situps whilst poking her belly. stabbed straight into my heart

#its so fkcing hard being triggered by smth so inescapable #also good on yall for making seiran a fatphobic piece of shit. is that cute and funny to you? what is the appeal here? #its cause u hate us right? ik that. we dont have the right to exist in a not-thin form ik that youd do anything to make us dissapear #if i had a friend that made me try to lose weight.. if they told me my body looked bad.. they would simply not be my friend #im so sorry. im very sad and angry and hurt hurt hurt #here come the waterworks wheeeeee #unfollowed the person i saw it from... i cant stay around ppl like that even if theyre friends w my friends #i cant do this. and mirrin warned me itll get so much worse due to new years resolutions. im so sad. i cant take it #pls make it stop pls let us just exist we are not bad or wrong for existing #fuck should i put trigger warnings.... #tw fatphobia #tw body shaming #idk what else to put #god its so much more that body shaming. its abuse. its oppression. discrimination. cruelty on a global scale

[toxickeyboard]

#tw unreality #tw religion #(I feel like I should put more trigger warnings but idk which ones) #this is /j btw #faith the unholy trinity

[sofilandstuff]

my oldest daughter made up a story and a song and when I asked her what it ment she said:

"I'm singing the song of a daughter who lost her mother, because the mom went grocery shopping and someone cut her head off and ripped her heart, and now the daughter is very sad and she's imagining her mom is with her and singing together"

I was keeping a very straight face and just complimenting her story telling and song, but oh wow on the inside I was screaming dhjskska

WHAT THE HELL GIRL!! 🤣

#I wanted to cry wtf thats so sad whyyyy #my husband says that's on us for him being a metalhead and im like Wednesday lmao #mother & daughter time #momlife #rambles #should i put a trigger warning??? #like #tw horror #?? #idk!!

[micamicster]

Our patient is on hospice being discharged today and all she wants is a chocolate ice cream cone (if she gets one she will aspirate and die) and we keep being like look. You said you wanted to die at home. Can you please wait to eat your chocolate ice cream cone until after you get home. So you can aspirate and die in the comfort of your own kitchen please

And she’s like I’m a dying old lady and I want an ice cream cone NOW 😡

#girl we are trying to get you what you want! can u please just hang in there for another few hours! we will get there. when we get there #sorry I feel like i should trigger warn this post but idk what I would put so like. #cw medical #?

[win-writes]

Comfort character fr

#win; posts #i kinda #i kinda started writing a little something #as a vent #and idknif i should post it #cause it's really sensitive #and kinda triggering #ofc id put warnings but #idk idk #maybe I'll think about it again when im done writing it #but yeah #hehe im silly im silly #live laugh love jouno #my pretty boy ♡

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

OOH U KNOW WHAT SORT OF STORY I WOULD LOVE TO SEE???

ok so hua cheng is feeling cheeky and naughty!! 'heehee hoohoo,' he thinks, 'i shall convince gege to let me send a lil butterfly to spy on his dumb friends!! their sexually charged antics will get us ~in the mood~ for fun!!! huehuehue >:D'

he goes to xie lian: 'gege!! let's look in on ur old pals, idiot 1 and idiot 2! it'll be fun :D'

xie lian: 'ohhhh idk san lang, that's violating their privacy, we probably shouldn't...... 👀👀👀' and 'it would be SO HARD to convince me to go along with it....... 👀👀👀' but actually he is. SUPER CURIOUS about how things are going for fengqing, ever since they got together. OFC HE WANTS TO SEE DAMMIT!!!!

so hua cheng sends the lil butterfly!! he and xie lian snuggle up to SPY on poor fengqing!!! (obvs they'll stop if it's VERY BAD and apologise later!! it's just!!! they're just CHECKING on them ok!!! IT'S NOT WEIRD!!! (it's very weird. they are very weird. (affectionate)))

LO AND BEHOLD. feng xin and mu qing are TOGETHER!!!! in a BEDROOM!!!!!!!! IN THEIR.........NIGHT CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....................................................but they're just having a cuddle and being the sappiest, gentlest, most adorable couple of ALL TIME and it's AWFUL ;A; it's nothing spicy at all!! THEY'RE JUST MAKING SILLY FACES AND SMILING AND LAUGHING AND USING GROSS PET NAMES!!!!! EW!!!

CURSES!!! hua cheng's plans have been FOILED!!! lol the end 🤣

#birb still says #i wish i could write aaaaaaaaa ;A; #then i could write it myself lmao 🤣🤣 #idk i just thought the idea was funny so i wanted to put it out there #the look on hua cheng's face would be. PRICELESS 🤣🤣🤣 #xie lian would be all happy tho!!! likke 'yaaaay my friends are so sweet together omg 💚' #'san lang thank u for showing me this u are the bestest husbando 💚' #meanwhile hua cheng is like '.......of course gege. anything for u gege 😱' #low-key shell-shocked #or whatever it is the young ppl say #does this need a trigger warning??? #since it's technically hc attempting voyeurism of some sort?? does it count if he FAILS??? #i meant this to be light hearted and silly!!! #anyway I NOW RELEASE THIS INTO THE WILD #if someone wants it then by all means!!! help urselves!!! #it's just an idle fancy on my part~ i lay no claim to it~~ #lol im all out of it after this morning i guess lmfao 🤣🤣🤣 #should i tag this fengqing and hualian???? i guess so??? #tgcf #story idea #fengqing #hualian

[trans-lycion]

Emetophobia warning

Ever since i experienced paxil withdrawals and was throwing up like 5 times a week for a month and then weekly for a month after that, ive gotten really chill with it and i can kind of tell far in advanced if its happening. In these cases i'll treat it like a spa day lol not like this is fun for me but i can set up all my amenities; damp washcloth, water bottle, put my hair up in clips and a scrunchie, maybe something to sit on, something to read on my phone. Makes the process much less horrifying and prevents the anxiety that comes from rushing or franticness

#i used to have so much insane emetophobia it was debilitating for me socially physically emotionally #over time it lessened and then when i had the great Meds Fuckening of 2021 that frankly ruined me for 4 months #it became very chill very quickly #and now that i fight it less and its less stressful on my body and mind #idk if this is something i recommend fjkakckskd like this isnt something yoh should try to practice for???? #but if u do have a phobia or just a lot of anxiety about it it might be good to just learn to relax your body and hold less tension #and youll find it helps a lot #generally just making it less big of a deal so u dont freak out #written from the floor of my bathroom 👍 #emeto warning #emeto #emetophobia #tw emetophobia #tw vomiting #gross #unsanitary #trying to put Every Tag bc i get it #this could potentially trigger bulimia i feel? #eating disorder #bulimia #i am not bulimic just fyi i just dont want to trigger anyone!!! no worries no worries

[plutotheforgotten]

I would like to go get breakfast but I can hear my step dad yelling in the kitchen and intermittently I can hear things falling to the floor very loudly

#very ready to move out so I don’t have to wait for my parents to stop fighting for me to go get food :) #just a couple more months #negative #I feel like I should put a content warning on this? #idk seeing this from someone else would be kinda triggering for me but idk how to tag it #cw parents fighting #??? that works?? right? #screaming into the void

[tamarieatsbatteries175]

I feel very unreal

Ive also been having very distorted thoughts

I should tell my therapist about this

#chiip is a huge bug enthusiast #uhhh are there any trigger warnings i should put on this #idk

[skelebab]

I forget sometimes that having extremely violent trains of thought isn't a thing that normal people do

(line break so people don't accidentally read stuff they don't wanna)

Like it's not normal to imagine disemboweling yourself with your bare hands or pressing blunt objects through people's skulls like those presses people put snow globes n stuff in?? I think stuff like this and go "yup, that's normal" but once I described a slightly gorey scene when dming and seriously grossed out my players

So that's why when I recognize something as violent I put excessive amounts of warnings, I really have no frame on what is "just a little violent" and what's "extremely violent"

I need someone to hook up to my brain and explain things to me :')

#intrusive thoughts #i think?? #idk man my brain's just a lil silly goofy #im not like #dangerous #i just think alot ig #i should put trigger warnings on this right? #but which ones ????? #argh idk #is this tmi??? #that's another thing i have trouble with T.T

[despite-everything]

i wish you could reply to people's letterboxd reviews

#bear with me here im being a Hater #but someone reviewed 'god help the girl' and was like 'someone should really put a fucking ED trigger warning on this' #and like. i get it. #but also its not a secret? #like the premise of the film is that the lead sneaks out of her ED treatment program and meets people she makes music with #yknow? it's not hard to find that information out? #now sure if you only saw the trailer you might miss that info but the movie came out 9 years ago. if you just google it you can find it #idk theres just something about the way that people want to be spoon-fed warnings when they already exist! it just takes 10 seconds to look #whatever #im not saying that its stupid to feel upset about something in a film #but when your big complaint is a lack of a trigger warning when you can literally find them if you just look.... good lord. #tree talks

[d3f3n3str4t10n]

Towelket

Recently a friend introduced me to this wackass RPGMaker series called Towelket and my worldview as expanded. I'm a changed man. This is my rebirth.

#rpg maker #towelket #idk what I should put for a trigger warning