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formulinos · 2 years

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hello everybody! for the round of 16 of The Tournament, i left an open box opened so that you could write whatever you like: venting, secrets, or just normal stuff. i thought it would be nice to reply to some of your messages so behind the cut you can check some of these out! they include thoughts not only on f1, but also academia and general life stuff. i took the care of redacting some information that could lead to identification, since you're anon during voting i can't tell who is who but if you'd like to reach out to me in priv i'm always around :D

first of all, i received a lot of messages of support and thanks, which honestly idek why because i don't feel i really deserve it? you guys are very sweet, thanks for your kindness. while my priority is always to do things i like and have fun, i don't think formulinos exists without those who interact with it, so thanks to you guys for being here to support me! that being said, two of those messages more or less called my attention:

sure, if you tell me who you are! if any of you are interested, come hang out!

new blog bio!

we also got a lot of musings about the current matches of the tournament:

in this case i think your typing made a choice for you bestie :/

this one is an early semi-final and i wanted to KILL python for creating this match up, but not as much as:

that one was fucked up and i think it's enough of an evidence that it's really done at random bc i'd never!!!!! still, there was one match that was controversial enough to divide society:

evil. cursed. well, at least someone got the intention behind it!

this is literally drivers champions league!!!!

a lot of you had different opinions about the drivers who stayed and the drivers that aren't around anymore, but one stood out... for not even being a driver

he would advance, but not as much as this tumblr user:

i love the self confidence!!!!

on the topic of tournaments:

well, i think that's an idea that could be developed! there are plenty of drivers in other series if you want to do a general one, beyond f1!

we had a few more on f1! first of all, a classic:

what was the question?

a few of you are still worried about some recent news:

i'm not gonna claim here i'm a daniel fan, but i do think mclaren are fucked up. but then again, i would still think mclaren are fucked up even if they didn't do anything. the good thing about silly seasons is that there is hope until literally the 2023 season starts, so keep your heads high!

we have a few takes coming straight from the past:

on the cevert take, i have no clue. the sport evolved pretty quickly between the 70s and 80s and i genuinely can't tell who would or wouldn't have won a title. on senna's win however, i can def say that this was a hate crime (french on brazilian violence on the behalf of balestre)

we have friends that are back after a long time though!

welcome back! hope you enjoy your stay :D

we also have some newbies who are going through a tough time in the fandom:

i think we have a big issue in the fandom that we have either people who are ancient and are overprotective of the sport because the changes that liberty media have brought are majorly against the flow of the sport, or people who are super new and that don't understand that f1 is a cumulative sport, that is, the more you know about it, the more you understand not only the technical aspect but literally how the sport works. it's not quite like football which i find much more friendly in terms of picking up whenever you like a team and then slowly get used to the history. i'm not a hater of newcomers because we need them to keep the sport running and unfortunately i'd like to keep watching formula 1 until my hair is grey and i have dementia, but i'm not gonna lie and say i don't resent the small portion of new fans who just splurt opinions without having the necessary knowledge to see things beyond black and white. it's not that understanding certain things makes it less fucked up, but it actually helps to bring some perspective that can even make you more or less mad and give more support to your train of thought. that being said, i can TOTALLY tell when a fan is purposefully ignorant or just a newbie who is just learning about things, so i don't think you should be afraid of interacting with people around here because they are mostly levelheaded and they can actually help you out with explaining the lore of f1 (obligatory hyperfixation corner on my pinned post plug). don't be scared, just throw yourself out there! if you're not interested on knowing everything about everyone, i'd just tell you to learn a bit about the history of teams, like why is ferrari the way they are? what led mercedes to their domination? how did sebastian vettel create red bull? why must williams be stopped? etc. i think that by tracing a single "recent" timeline (you don't need to go aaaaall the way back to fangio, unless you're interested about the technological and safety advancements from the start of f1 to now) you can grasp a bit better some of the grid dynamics. and on the topic of f1, a chilling revelation:

i legit can't say anything without saying who the driver is so i won't. but damn lol!!!! well, you're entitled to your own opinions and i think that from what you said, it's like, a normal rivalry that the sport ended up creating and even though it's in the past some ppl still carry it with them. i hate timo glock no matter how much ppl defend him to me. most important is just to chill and avoid tagging your opinions so you don't poke the fans!

another f1 related confession, but a simpler one:

i'm not sure if chickpeas are super common around the globe, so i think it's fair? unfortunately in brazil they're super common though. i HATE them i wish charles had never picked it up.

we have one on DTS laid ease:

fair enough because current DTS is literally teams' PR hour. what was pretty charming about the first two seasons was how unscripted it felt - even though a lot of it was different from reality, unlike now that's basically only the teams and drivers that are willing to speak and it's obvious they want to look good or at least have control of the narrative that's fabricated. i know it's not all perfect but gosh, it fell off.

still on f1, we have a possible sighting:

trust your instincts, what do they say? i am of the opinion that if it was Lewis, you'd know right away. that man is unmistakable.

and now, a commentary on fanfics:

see i can only read RPF if i can distinguish well reality from the AU. like, i want the story to be so compelling that it feels like the drivers are just face and personality claims but they stand as characters, not as the real deal. if you changed their names, it would work equally fine as a book (although i love when there are easter eggs and whatever). i think that if you have the maturity to understand that these aren't the drivers from the moment they're written and that they have real lives and real partners, you can still have fun! the fandom is filled with talented writers who i legit think could make it a job. i'm going to recommend to you "without a hitch" aka @mickstart's bakery AU (you'll need an AO3 account as it's private) because i feel it illustrates well what i just said and laura really made a point of creating a whole universe. we saw it grow from a few fun discussions at a discord server to a few more serious discussions we had on priv and repeated demands i made for her to write it and they fucking did it brilliantly. so very proud, new chapter saturday etc. from the other users i remember write is of course my beloved maisie @jedivszombie and the amazing anna @gp2engine. can't go wrong!

but it's not all f1. there is some f2 too!

and i would love if both of you guys could get into contact with me first bc i'm an enthusiast of gossip and second bc i legit would like to know what is necessary to get a formula job!!!!

and at last a very sobering yet necessary take on the state of the fandom:

i do like tumblr for not being very male dominated although twitter has a nice blend of reddit dudebros and tumblrinas. however, we def need more women to reach f1 because my bi ass needs more material besides old school girls and susie (besides w series).

some of you had positive new life updates!

MF Doom fucks and i cant believe it's two years already that he left us!!! i love the feeling of learning a new instrument, i remember my hands ached and i'd get short of breath when i was learning the flute but it was so worth it! keep working at it!!!

god, that's so nice to read, congrats! sun and water is always a mood booster and it's amazing to read how much progress you made in a year :D may you keep having great experiences at pool parties (and maybe the beach next?)

comeback of the century. iconic. i would get the nose checked though don't joke around these things!!

a few of you were still on last week's assignment:

i love call it fate, call it karma. any strokes really. i'm not that bi enough to enjoy hozier but i do think the quality is great! and i did listen to mykonos, it's in last round's playlist :)

we also had a few food related items:

i def need to try popcorn w chopsticks bc i always waste so much popcorn eating it in handfuls like an idiot. sushi IS my favourite food, next time you eat it lmk so we can eat some together! and while i'm not sure yet pasta is the supreme food, i def want to try some great pasta when i'm at milan next month! oh and every single alcoholic beverage sucks absolute balls.

some of you are suffering over a subject very close to my heart: sleeping

i know probably it's not That Serious to you guys, but i have been recovering from long term use of zolpidem (ambien) for the past 4 months or so now? i don't remember really. i just decided to stop taking it bc it's such a hassle to get it here in france, i have to go to a psychiatrist that barely looks me in my face and charges me 100 euros per month and i ended up running out of prescription. when i called him to schedule an appointment, he said he was on vacation for the next 15 days, and since he was the first out of 3 that i went that prescribed me some (i already did a treatment in brazil but here is much worse and someone prescribed to me an antipsychotic that left me completely zonked out) i just said fuck it, i'll wing it. i had the worse insomnia for the first week but at some point my sleeping schedule started to go back to normal, it's still a challenge but at least i can mostly sleep 7 hours instead of 3. what i find helped me was melatonin, of course because there is no way someone who was on 10mg zolpidem could just fall asleep straight away - i take between 2 and 3 mg an hour before i go to sleep and then i try not to mess w my phone a lot. if i'm not sleeping, i'll grab the phone to watch smth on youtube or netflix, but i won't do social media. i have a bag of lavender grains on my pillow and i also put essential oils on my diffuser (lavender + sweet orange) bc aromatherapy fucks. i shut every single light entrance in the house (v important during summer) AND have a face mask. i legit do SO MUCH SHIT to sleep is crazy. go to sleep well so you don't end up like me. and tbh if you suffer from severe insomnia like i do, i still think you can consider zolpidem as a path if you have the support of a doctor. for a good period, it was the only way i could manage to sleep when nothing else i had tried worked and it legit saved my life, i swear. i just couldn't live properly from the headaches and other side effects of lack of sleep. from there on you can wean it out properly instead of going cold turkey. good luck!

there have been some... atypical issues:

shit in their toilet and clog it.

freaking ruthless!!!!!!! the joys of being a child...

now we get into romantic territorry! well, sort of:

if i had to choose i think i'd go with jeff bezos. they must be practically insufferable the same way but at least jeff bezos doesn't share cringe memes daily on twitter. and i think jeff bezos' money is less unstable.

hey! it's not about the man, it's about you being comfortable with yourself enough to enjoy yourself while having sexy times with a man. it's self-care. ideally you'll go through the next step of self-care that is to block the man's number. good luck!

tbh have you tried picking ppl up at excel courses? at least you'll find ppl who have the same mentality as you and that's a starting point! (shit advice i know but don't give up!)

HATE SEXY DREAMS HATE THEM !!! exactly, you'll prob never get to fuck him and it becomes a torture bc you just know that sex dream was top 10 pipes of your life. yes this is about you and your friend not about me and valtteri bottas.

do you guys think that really happened? i don't think it really happened. i think it's just a string of coincidences much like princess cake....

of course we couldn't go without some Work Stuff:

i undestand you totally, it seems like you went through the sort of situation that really bursts the bubble and if you really trusted them and rated them before, it shatters in instants and then it's like "what the fuck are we even doing here?". i have been going through the same here w my uni collegues (i can't even call them friends as much atm) bc they were so selfish in a given moment i was like "never again". it's been nearly a month and i still don't want to look at them in their faces and have been avoiding them, but it's like. you have to accept your feelings were hurt and give yourself time to heal but also since you're still working with them you have to at least publicly move on. my mom says to keep acting nice and even playful but that it's also a lesson not to trust people again after they haven't been reliable. since your case is work related, even better bc it's not like you Need to be friends with them. if it's been like 3 months and you think it's still unsustainable, then i'd consider changing jobs tbh.

omg poor thing lmao!!!! honestly you sound like a trooper anyway because it's a bunch of kids crying, i think that would reduce anyone to tears but you still made it! i hope your manager was capable of supporting you but the image you created is lowkey hilarious... the wiiiings. i hope that up to that moment you enjoyed your tinkerbell fantasy and that you get to keep the costume.

a lot of the messages were also related to Academia Anxiety (classic)

i sympathise a lot with the concern about your parents because i'm from a latino country, but i see my friends who eventually overcame their fears and changed their majors instead of sticking to the ones their parents liked and they are genuinely thriving. there is one in particular that just blossomed in life and is much more confident and happy. of course i don't know your particular situation with your parents so i can't say that they will or not respond in a certain way, but the fact is that they're not gonna be here forever anyway, and when they're gone you might have to face if you're the person you want to be or the person they were projecting you to be and it might sting. if your mental health requires you to change areas, do it. it will be rough, but you can make it!

see? and there is nothing wrong with that, good luck in your studies! i myself am probably gonna graduate in my studies since i'm here in france for the double degree than immediately go back to study mechanical engineering bc i like chemistry but it's useless lmao. if i could turn back time!!!!

awww i hope you manage to stay there as well!! how are the possibilities lining up right now, do you think you could find a job in your area or keep working at academical research or something? a lot of the foreign students at my school manage to stay here after they graduate but i don't know how things work in the country you're at the moment. would you be willing to move somewhere else as well?

i'm terribly sorry to hear that, school can be so overwhelming sometimes and not having the support of your parents in that aspect def hinders the situation. ideally you'd be able to seek a therapist on the low, for instance if your school have a counsellor they might be able to help you find a solution. because of the pandemic there have been many therapists who decided to go at least part time online, which can be cheaper depending on your location (in case you can somehow afford it or some insurances might cover it). where i'm from a lot of universities offer therapeutic support either for free or for a symbolic fee from their interns or people who just graduated, which also helps (a few of my friends do it this way!). i think from the point you manage to get some therapy advice, they might be able to refer you to a psychiatrist if necessary and orient you on whether or not you need your parents to back your treatment. i know you probably have already tried to seek solutions, so keep me posted on how that's going and i hope you manage to kick start something!

we had a few other people recounting some of their mental heath struggles:

the worst part about therapy it's how trial and error it is until you find The Therapist, but once you do it's so worth it. i had one that ghosted me once and it sucked asdkfhas but i'm currently doing genuinely great with the one i have, so don't give up on therapy just yet! i have also a friend who is dealing with A Very Shitty Breakup (toxic abusive ex) and she has been doing both therapy and meditation, so maybe meditation can help you as well! and i'm not sure if you have psychiatric support as well, but maybe if you do you can get a therapist referral from them! truly think that it takes a village to deal with mental illnesses, therapy, psychiatry and even some holistic approaches sometimes (no cults please) and since you're also saying you are having a bit of a sexuality crisis, therapy could help you figure out what you're going through. again, keep me posted!

it sounds like you have a mature outlook on it and you decided to do what's best for you, so i salute you on that first and i hope that HRT is the path to your happiness (i also hope that you are not alone in the transitioning process and that you have both friends and medical support to go through it, although i know in many countries the system fucking sucks). it's terrible to hear that your family might not be supportive, i hope there are some surprises and that they come to terms with you becoming who you really are but this might take literally years and you're well aware of it. it's a heartbreaking situation and i wish you the best on this new era of your life, may the joys of becoming you outweight the saudade you will have of your family. and may you find many people who love and support you and have a found family of your own! keep me posted!!!

this one is just a message of its own i couldn't place anywhere:

i REALLY HOPE this person is well now and safe, please send a message saying you're good now!!!!!

we had a few relatable messages:

what are your favourite apartment/house hunting videos? i love to see celebrity houses, whenever there is a new architectural digest video i stop everything i'm doing.

another one:

the nice thing about aging is that you realise everybody know absolutely jackshit even if they are the most experienced people in the world. i look at myself and i still feel like i don't know anything in life, even at stuff i dedicated my whole life to, but fuck it, we keep moving, as you said. the lovely thing about life is that every person has their own pace but we all have the potential. you'll wake up one day and you will see that everything is in its right place, i believe in you!

now this one, we ALL can relate:

god i felt that one right to my tailbone. go see that psychotractor!!!!

and, to finish this, the most relatable one of them all:

easy! step 1: watch formula 1

there you go no way to like formula 1 after this. thank you to all of you who sent messages, feel free to keep them coming! and thanks for participating in the tournament, we still have a round going so don't forget to vote! cheers and see you around :D

#hottest drivers tournament 2022 #this was super fun and i hope you keep me updated!

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julemmaes · 1 year

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Your on a year abroad?! That’s so cool which country is it in? I’m glad ur having a good time - i have a year abroad next yr I am TERRIFIED 😭😭 any tips???

You signed up for this, but I'm still sorry it came out this long, so... sorry:)

I'm actually doing Erasmus if you know what that is. If you don't, the quick explanation is "your home country and university pay you to study abroad for a period of time that goes from 5 months to 11".

I'm almost halfway through my stay in Valencia, Spain, and I've had my highs and lows. I'm very attached to my family and I have a very very V E R Y large and close group of friends that I used to spend my entire days with, so at the beginning of the stay all I wanted to do was go back to Italy. I went home for a couple of days at the end of October and it nearly destroyed me coming back here (I literally just got to my apartment after spending three weeks at home and I'm numb but in a good way), to the point where I was considering giving up on the scholarship and cut the lease. My friends were supportive as fuck in that decision and my family has no idea I was doing that bad, but then I booked a trip to Morocco for December and from there it was honestly like a smooth ride. My days started to look brighter (let me romanticize my life) and I had way more motivation that I could have hoped for in that period.

I'm so mentally unstable that many of my friends doubted I could make it out alive, but I'm handling myself and reminding myself every day I'm just a 20yo living on her own for the first time, 1500km from her home and family. Which might not be that weird for some, might look like the end of the world for others. I'm in between that.

I recognize the chance I was given and the fact that this opportunity is not something I should take for granted, hence why I decided to stay in the end. This isn't forever. It's just a couple of months where I can push my limits and see where I stand in the world and what I wanna do with my life.

I'm not gonna lie and say everything is perfect cause I fucking hate my roommates and the way uni things are handled and having to buy water and walk from the groceries to my house with a 30km pack in my arms every time. But it's worth it. It's so worth it.

The people you meet. The places you get to see. Nobody stops you. You're your own person. You get to really find out what free will is (and let me tell you I did some weird as fuck things since I have no one controlling what I do), (like eating mandarins and only mandarins for three days straight—do not reccomend), (eat consistently).

Tips I'd give out are:

1. Check free card or student discounts for transportation. I literally paid zero (0) euros since I got here for the metro, bus, tram cause Valencia is perfect and people under 30 don't pay shit.

2. Every event your school or university offers, go. It's the fastest and best way to meet new people without having to worry of strangers on the internet.

3. This is controversial and really personal, so I'll give you the tip everybody gets and then my personal experience. A) Make friends fast as soon as you get there cause otherwise groups will be formed and you'll be alone forever. B) Don't worry too much about that cause you're constantly meeting new people every single day. Some you will find lame, some you will want to strangle and some will become your lifelong friends.

4. Let yourself feel and don't neglect your body. It's easy to forget you're not on a very long holiday and sometimes I lose sight of that as well. You're tired? Sleep. Don't feel guilty for not going out with your friends for the fifth night on a row. You're angry cause your roommate didn't throw out the trash on his day? Send him that fucking text cursing him through the seven realms of hell (idek if they're seven). You miss you bed and your pillow? Cry.

Remember it's okay if you feel sad AND happy at the same time. Those two emotions being contraries to each other doesn't mean they can't coexist. I'm constantly feeling grateful for being here and homesick cause I wish I was in my parents bed gossiping with them. I'm always anxious I'm missing out on everything going on back home while signing my lungs out at a club with my friends. I've had two long months where I was guilty 24/7 cause I wouldn't let myself feel any of those emotions and end up depressed.

Just, feel.

5. If you'll live on your own, grocery shop smartly. Don't over buy. The food will still be there in the shop the next time you go. But it WILL get moldy and spoiled if you buy it and then don't have enough time to eat it.

6. If your program offers weekends trips (even daily trips) go on them cause it's the best choice ever. I took one on the third day I was here and I meet the one person that later became my very bestest friend ever. They might be pricey but it's worth it.

7. Be ready to be disappointed by many things. Not everything will go as planned and not everything will be as you imagined it. And that's okay. Brace yourself for failure and accept things as they come. If you have no control over it, it's useless to stress about it.

8. Idk which country you're going to, but make the most of it and travel around. Find some friends with the same will go explore and take trains, busses and cars to wherever. Even the city you live in might have some secret gems, you just need to look for them.

I'm literally sleepwalking at this point, so I think this is enough, but don't hesitate to send other asks or dm me directly if you ever need something❤❤

#i got an aask #personal #ire

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goddess-aelin · 2 years

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So here are my thoughts on TWOTQ and ASITE as well as the series in general!

The good:

-ok I LOVED that sera played a big role in the TWOTQ ending. Sera is literally amazing and I’m so excited to read more of her story.

-I love that the two storylines are coming together and it makes me think that maybe the final book won’t necessarily be a poppy book or sera book but rather both together!

-I absolutely enjoyed poppy coming into her powers. I know some people have problems with it but I love that she’s progressing in that way

-looooove that cas was turned on by her fangs 🤣 my horny boy

- ugh just the poppycas reunion in general. We definitely got so many sweet moments.

-I LOVE NYKTOS. Honestly this might be a controversial opinion but I think I like him more than cas? Not in a sense that he’s better in any way but moreso he would be more attractive to me irl because he’s broody and mysterious 😂

-sera/nyktos honestly owns my heart and that last 25% of the book was suuuuuper painful.

-for that reason I loved the ending of TWOTQ because we (hopefully) can assume that everything worked out in the end especially because reaver said that love saved sera.

-the big reveal of sera being the primal of life!!!!! I was screaming. I mean we knew it but didn’t know it for sure. Now I’m super intrigued as to what is going to happen in her book! How does she live, what happens, how does nyktos get past where he’s at now.

-I’m not calling it “good” per say but I didn’t mind the joining scene itself. It made sense why they did it and I didn’t think it was in any way made to be fetishized or superfluous.

-REAVER. NEKTASSSSSSS MY BOYYY. JADIS ISNT DEAD THANK GOD

-sera and nyktos waking up and literally being a power couple tag teaming returning the souls that were lost in battle. I stan

-I want more tawny.

-if Delano would’ve died I would’ve been PISSEd. Thank god they all came back.

The bad:

-sigh

-where do I start with this

-ok so I think in general TWOTQ was kinda badly written. I don’t read FBAA for it’s quality but some things were just SO inconsistent.

-during the joining it had cas describing the sequence of events to poppy and then it didn’t even happen that way. Maybe it was just me being picky but if you take a moment to describe that she will drink from both of them and then them from each other and then from her, don’t you think that’s how it should happen then? But no, it was poppy from cas, Kieran from cas, cas from Kieran, poppy from Kieran, them from poppy. I’m being picky but seriously!

-the sequence where isbeth stabbed malec and then callum was explaining things to millie and poppy. Yikes. All over the place. I had to read it through a few times to just get the gist of what was happening because all that was being written was “she did this” “she did that” while talking about literally 3 different “she’s.” So I was super confused as to who was supposed to be stabbed and who callum was telling that he’d deal with them later and who the harbinger was. Tbh I still don’t know.

-the way Kieran was acting towards poppy some of the time just felt…icky. I didn’t really feel that way at all until they got cas back. I could see everything up until that point as poppy and Kieran being supportive of each other and kind of leaning on each other while they worked to get cas back. I think they needed that and I honestly saw absolutely nothing wrong with it. It was actually kind of sweet.

-that being said, the comparisons of Kieran to “poppy’s husband” were weird. Like these little touches of caressing her cheek and getting her hair out of her eyes just really fell flat because they were happening in tandem with cas doing these things too. If I can’t differentiate between what her husband is doing and what her…idek what to call him at this point…is doing, I just think that’s a little weird. Def made me kinda uncomfortable. And that is me saying this, who was a “oh I’ll wait and read it for myself, people are probably overreacting to this” type of gal.

-I hated having cas’ POV. Like hated it. I don’t think it added anything to the story and even though I would’ve been sad to not have seen him till halfway through the book, I think it would’ve added more tension if we only had poppy’s POV up until she saw cas again. I think that’s why a lot of people are saying that he’s stagnant in this book. I don’t necessarily think it’s the case, it’s just that were not used to getting his POV and yet whenever we did get his POV in this book, it was never anything of substance. Like all of his thoughts were only of fucking poppy. Like ok we get it! I think JLA was trying to go for sweet but imo it fell a little flat.

The confusing:

-poppycas/Kieran dynamic. Like wtf is going on. On one hand I want to say that ok poppycas are heartmates and I would pin kierans relationship with both of them as an almost soulmate like relationship without the romance. Yet then shit like the cheek caressing and rubbing her back and taking her hair out of her face happened and I just have no idea tbh. Why compare kieran to her husband? To show hes protective? Do it a different way. Every caress cas gave poppy had to be followed by one from Kieran and I did. Not. Like. That. It just felt super weird and uncomfortable to me. Why did Kieran sneak into the tent to sleep with them? Again, just strange.

-do I think it was JLAs intention to make this a throuple? No. I don’t. I think the intention was to show a strong bond between all three of them but what came across was the makings of a three person relationship. Poppy said a few times that her feelings for cas are different from Kieran and I appreciated that but am still confused because I feel like what’s being said and what’s being shown are two different things.

-I found a few scenes between poppy and Kieran to actually be sweet in a “I will always look out for you” type of way. So just to have that kind of stark change from simple comfort to a few different times showing that Kieran is turned on/interested in her in a deeper way was confusing. Im confused

-I’m not necessarily anti joining and I thought that part was tastefully done but I definitely am anti throuple relationship. I just think if that was going to be a thing (which, again, I don’t think it is) she shouldn’t have spent so much time building up the concept of a heartmate.

-so long story short, I think poppycas shippers need not worry because I truly think it was poor word choice and writing style on JLAs part. No disrespect to her but I definitely hope she clears some things up. she has woven this incredible world and I’m so excited to see where it goes. It sucks that I’m super confused over multiple things right now but overall I really did enjoy the book!

Where I think it’s going:

-oh man ok. Idk where to start because there’s so much going on!

-for ASITE: I don’t think we’ll get an immediate love confession from nyktos. That’s not the style. We have to suffer a bit before that 😂. But I think we’ll get sera kinda being…hopeless? Like she doesn’t think she’s going to live and maybe she starts trying to look for ways to transfer that ember of life to nyktos or someone else. I’m not sure that giving up is sera’s style BUT when nyktos told her time and time again that he could never love her, what else is she to do?

-speaking of that relationship, I think they both already do love each other but are too dense to admit it 😂

-I think that sera is going to be saved through some type of sacrifice on nyktos’ part. Hence the “primal who loves you.” What better way to prove you love someone than by giving up power or sacrificing yourself….just sayin. (Obviously we know hes fine so I’m not worried.)

-for FBAA all I’m really hoping for is poppy getting to meet sera and having a talk with her. I think it’d be sweet to see them both bond over shared experiences and I love that maybe sera could be a mother figure to poppy.

So yeah. I think that’s all of my thoughts rn so come and rant to me in my inbox or messages! Please! I’m dying to talk about it with someone!

#twotq #twotq spoilers #FBAA #ASITE #a shadow in the ember #from blood and ash #the war of two queens #flesh and fire #sera mierel #seraphena mierel #nyktos #poppy balfour #casteel da'neer #poppycas #seratos

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barefootbaltimore · 6 months

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Okay I would LOVE to hear more of your natural birth opinions though.

Like, that was never an option for me because I probably would've died without constant IV fluids but besides that I feel like it wasn't that traumatic, that was just my chronic illnesses interacting in Not Great ways with pregnancy fatigue and blood volume.

~potsiefaerie (on my main blog)

Hi! Honestly idek what else to say. Most of my opinions on birth follow the thinking of "The best birth is the one the birther feels safest.and happiest with"

In my opinion natural childbirth isn't the one with the least drugs, it's the one where the process is not interrupted unnecessarily. In the US especially OBs intervene in birth far more than they need to and it usually has to do with a desire to speed things up.

Obviously there are situations where things don't happen ideally and those are the situations that all those interventions were designed to handle but if nothing is actually *wrong* then the only person who needs to be doing anything is the birther themselves.

Also note: pain management is not the Devil. I don't believe that at all so if a birther wants pain management they should have it. Period. That said they also need to be able to give INFORMED consent. So many people don't know it's possible for epidurals to fail until theirs does. Not a single woman in my family has ever had an epidural work or if it worked it wasn't without awful side effects. None of them were warned.

I've been with a baby all day so I have no idea if any of this is coherent. I'm doing my.best. My main point is that birthers deserve to know all their options and should know that they are the ones calling all the shots. They should be allowed to labor for as long and in whatever way that.they.need/they can tolerate. Male doctors shouldn't be allowed to be OBs (this one's controversial but idc. I believe this fully.) Also all OBs should be required to be trained midwives. It's ridiculous that they aren't.

What other hot birth takes do I have? Oh yeah. Evidence based practice is best. Always. Many practices and norms for childbirth are oit of date.and not supported by science. All that has to go, it's 2023 why are we still giving episiotomies???

#id if any of this is what you werw looking for #childbirth

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odrseasonone · 7 months

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Why Rowena Kills

imma put a list of potentials here and probs continue to reblog as i think of new motives etc (some of these can probs be combined too)

MY GODS WHAT HAVE I DONE: she did kill them -- but it was an accident: rowena's dark powers weren't fully in her control and she decided to do smth taht was bad (idk? use it to hurt/intimidate her dad or smth idek) but it got out of control and killed them or smth/and/or someone tries to assassinate her or smth and, tryna kill the assassin, she kills her dad instead or smth

I WONT LET YOU DO THIS TO THEM: her fam wanted to pass a controversial new law or ally w a bad dude or smth that rowena truly believed would hurt aragoth etc

I WONT LET ANYONE HURT ME AGAIN/I WILL HAVE VENGEANCE: she is contracted into a jon valles-esque marriage and takes matters into her own hands when her family insists they can't end the marriage or whatever (probs bc they've been manipulated by dezod <3) and then probs crushes and subjugates that country...maybe in this scenario her hubby was king ~valerian or whatever his name is of the shouthern isles and that's the origin of the war etc

MY PRECIOUS: possession of the one ring dark magic drives her half mad and she kills them

I CAN STOP IT: rowena is motivated by a vision of the future, of her own: she loves her family but she knows that ~apocalyptic future~ will occur if they survive (possibly bc it'll take someone whose willing to be utterly ruthless to get through ~whatever~) so she makes the horrific sacrificial choice to spare aragoth by killing some of the ppl she loves most

I WILL NOT BOW: as above, rowena has a vision but instead of some apocalypse...she sees her own death and makes the ~selfish decision rather than the selfless one to kill them to save herself

I SERVE ONLY YOU: she's a true blue devotee of the demon god and she legit just wants to murder ppl to serve her god

ORDER OVER CHAOS: she believes the only way forward is to instill order...and that droyn is sowing the world w chaos (whether by his tenderheart rule or some other way) and knows he's gotta go -- her mom and bro get in the way

CHAOS IS A LADDER: the same thing but w reverse reasoning

I WILL SAVE YOU: rowena is dangerously convinced that what she's doing is the right thing and she will stop at NOTHING to do what she believes in -- downside/potential upside, this is sort of what is going on w cassius (kind of) but if we do that deliberately and treat them as foils, that could lend greater insight into both

#kate #rowena

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thebluesunflower44 · 3 years

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mytearsrricochet · 5 years

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#idek why I have all my social media anymore I just wanna delete it and fall off the face of the planet #everything feels gray #I deadass dont know why I have this tumblr anymore #and im so scared every day that this fandom hates me #it would be reasonable but im so afraid of being hated #I wish I could take back all the stupid controversial shit ive ever said and done #I just want to peacefully bow out of the fandom #I love many of you and taylor is the light of my life #so I will probably never leave #I just genuinely feel so hated here #like I cant keep my mouth shut and I feel like taylor hates me and so does everyone else #I cant even be upset about that I did it to myself #idk this is hust me genting its 6 am and I cant sleep #text

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big8cola · 3 years

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omg literally kriselle is so weird and ur so right about it. ALSO krusie is weird because like you said they push a bunch of heteronormative shit onto it. i don't really get why people need to find so many things to ship like why are you not content with the good canon dynamics. ralsusie has to be the worst one i keep getting cishet tumblr users in my notes bitching about how they "just like ralsusie better and noelle is obsessive and susie doesn't even like her" yeah yeah we get it you're lesbophobic. probably one of the least harmful (?) of the weird ships would be kris/berdly i just personally think that one sucks lol. kralsei is okay so far i think but only because it seems like toby may be going in that direction (?) (and i sincerely doubt the ralsei = asriel theories by now considering the differences in their facial features in their sprites) but i don't really actively think about it. suselle is really the only pairing that makes sense to care about because it has like. backing. that's my second controversial deltarune take of the day

YES LITERALLY honestly krusie shippers r so fucking weird idek 😭 like idt theres very many of them but the idea of kris/susie or godforbid susie/ralsei makes me srsly ill LMAO... like literally not everything has to b a ship at some point i think you guys just like erasing the canon lesbian couple i wont lie!!!! as for kris/berdly i dont have anything against them honestly i find it kinda funny 😭 i think its a lil weird when ppl take it too srsly i guess. but thats the hater in me talking 🙏 idek how i feel ab kris/ralsei like i guess id wanna see how they go w it in the game more before i rlly form an opinion 🤔 this is all facts tho we r on the same brain waves for real. suselle fans stay winning😁👆

#asks

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luvsicksubs · 3 years

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so uh... could I ask for that list of characters their fandoms like to think are doms that you think are actually subs? and why? if you’re not too busy ofc, I’m just really interested lol

this is gonna be controversial so if ur a switch look away from this post - these r just my opinions btw!! pls write characters however u please it dont matter that much n i respect ur feelings. pls respect mine!

hq, bnha, aot, and naruto men who seem like doms but i think are subs.. sorry this is so long!

my number one is hq - we will start from there, this list is meant for characters i think highly prefer/completely are submissive. not people who i think switch!

TSUKISHIMA: i know what you’re thinking. i do - but tsukishima is someone who genuinely pegs me as submissive. probably not meaning to discover it and probably not realizing it until he’s knee deep in a committed relationship with someone who keeps him on his toes. the mutual respect in knowing he’s with someone who can dish it out is a kick in the throat for him.

KAGEYAMA: how do i say this... i think kageyama enjoys being lightly submissive because he likes being told what to do and how to please you. it makes the practice of sex easier and enjoyable - plus it helps him decompress

USHIJIMA: genuinely whole-heartedly believe that if this man gave half a fuck about bdsm he would be a submissive man. it’s humbling and ushijima loves worshipping his s/o - submission does that for him to the nth degree. he’s not really kinky but he knows himself and his relationship to his lover. his unavailability is a huge part of his insecurities as a lover - and giving his time and energy to the demands of that person are extremely gratifying. lives to serve.

onto the next! bnha

BAKUGO: this one im actually so convinced on i sometimes laugh when i write him as a dom. i find it incredibly hard to picture. this volatile, emotional, and constantly argumentative man absolutely screams submissive to me. like a punch in the gut, honest to god. of all the men in this list - this is one where i don’t think i could ever really take him seriously as a dom or switch. that’s a submissive man to me, nothing can change my mind sorry!

TODOROKI: another one where i giggle a little bit trying to write him as a dom. not even just cause he’s a sweetheart but because i doubt he’d feel entirely comfortable inflicting violence on his partner - plus mommy issues are simply staring at them in the face like. inexperienced too?

HAWKS: i feel like this one is 50/50 in the sub thing but like...... i see a lot of people write him as this teasing and playful dom but i think sex needs to relaxing for him in the sense that his job is extremely tough. i also just feel like it makes sense. like idek. just the vibes..

lastly aot + naruto..

for aot -

LEVI: a submissive, incredibly loyal and with a deep love for pain and masochism. the captain leavi is tired of taking orders and demands the deep-seated pleasure of servitdue. nothing change this opinion for me. submission is a long-haul game and levi loves being second place. he gets exhausted of everyone walking on egg-shells around him and meeting someone who takes him down a peg makes him feel human + he enjoys it. and masochism is a reclamation of his pain but that’s neither here nor there ! he’s a sub to me, sorry gang

ARMIN: seems obvious but it’s not because of why you think ! nothing to do with the fact that he’s a bit of a scaredy cat and everything to do with the level of devotion he feels to you, truly. something about aot men and proving their dedication to your love, though armin is much more of a praise kind of guy.

lastly naruto!

KAKASHI: nothing can my mind, not a fucking thing. so sorry everyone this man is a masochistic mf and that’s just how it be. real talk, i think the idea of dominating in bed doesn’t appeal to kakashi given the fact that he’s experienced and seen a lot and inflicting on his partner probably brings back a lot of dark memories. being lead is a nice change of pace.

SASUKE: yall not gone like this one.... i know u not gonna.. but this is simply how i see him. i think sasuke needs to be intimate with someone who can easily navigate his insecurities and submission is the most straight-forward route to that. also same reasons for kakashi tbh, the trauma at work.

#sub!bnha #sub!aot #sub!hq #sub!naruto #naruto x reader #haikyuu x reader #aot x reader #bnha x reader #ari evals #anon

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everything-laito · 3 years

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hey,,, i've seen this controversial opinion about laito not being sexually assaulted by cordelia. . .as the only opinion of laito that matters, what are your thoughts on it? i know you've made some posts in the past about cordelia and laito's relationship, but i think that now would be a good time to i guess, remake a post or clarify your thoughts so people could follow along?? i hope you enjoy your day.

*proceeds to crack all my knuckles at once*

This isn't really my own "response" cuz oh boy I'm sick of this petty ass drama lmao. To begin, SKLDJF I'm very flattered that you hold my opinion in that high of regard! I'd say there's others that have interesting interpretations of him too though :) but again, thank you :') glad you enjoy what I have to say!

I know I've already kinda responded to this via a screenshot here, just to hold you––and others reading this––over. As much as this is a great time to talk about a how-to-analysis, I’ll still put that as a separate post eventually, but I still will go over the philosophy of truth and writings etc. But anyways, to answer your initial questions, they’re under the cut!

And no, I’m not specifically calling anyone out here. These are just issues with the fandom that I find as a whole, along with some extremists. Thus, I’m not going to be putting tags for people to easily find this post because I don’t want to be wound up in this drama––once again this is just more commentary on the fandom as a whole, which hopefully you can apply to people you find!

I have a lot of my own thoughts about Cordelia and Laito’s relationship here (just in case if people need it):

1. Goes over potential grooming of Laito, facts about Cordelia and what happened before she did stuff to Laito, and when did she rape Laito for the first time?

2. Stuff about incest and how any relationship out of a parental/child relationship is abuse even if it’s not penetrative sex, more incest stuff, and just more thoughts on their relationship

3. Neuroplasticity, trauma, Karlheinz, and isolation

4. What does sexual trauma look like? And some stuff on Laito’s facade

5. More stuff on his facade, and projection on Yui

6. My thoughts on Laito’s dark fate vampire ending + Conclusion

7. Answering some inbox stuff relating to Cordelia

Sure I realize I might be missing some stuff but that’s just my whole analysis on them. I’ll probably make some follow up posts eventually but I’m not sure when that will be.

But as for this analysis/ramble, I’ll divide it up into sections:

The issue of hypocrisy in the Dialovers fandom:

I- oh dear god. Ok, just saying, there’s a lot of people being like “oh I hate Cordelia because she was abusive” then ??? yo??? Why do you like the boys?? They’re abusive and we see more of them than Cordelia??? I just personally hate hypocrisy. However, it’s okay to hate Cordelia! It’s okay to love Cordelia! It’s okay to hate the boys and it’s okay to love the boys too. But recognizing that you don’t like one or the other just because “they’re abusive” is a fallacy at that point.

The reason why so many people hate Karlheinz/Cordelia/Beatrix/Christa/Richter (or at least start off hating them) is because they are written as the villains of the story! Karl’s the main villain, and the rest (including the diaboys and Yui) are kinda just tragically wound up in his plans. You sympathize more with the boys because you spend more time with them and watch them grow! It’s a whole “us vs them” situation. Since those people were awful to the boys/the boys hate them, you’re like “yeah they’re bad!” But the issue with the whole “us vs them” situation (as in real life) is that people tend to excuse the actions done by the “us” party.

Same thing goes with extreme Karl/Cordelia/Richter fans (I’ve never seen a hardcore Beatrix/Christa fan but they’re probably out there). Some hate the diaboys but love the people in that party. They’ve also done some shitty stuff too! Bro, even Yui has done some terrible stuff! But that’s because she was a product of the events she was thrown into––and same with everyone else.

Karl has been the mastermind of all this, and for me I don’t have any sympathy for him, mainly because we’re not shown anything to sympathize with (except that he just is tired of living but idk why he wants to create a whole new race like lmao science nerd ig, I feel that king). A lot of people like him for his looks, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing––he’s a fictional character, objectify these characters however you want. This is more of a personal opinion of mine though. And maybe people do just sympathize with his outlook on life, that’s totally fine.

But since these characters are all attractive in their own regard, they all get the treatment of “pretty-boy” syndrome (Idek if that’s the exact name for it). Which is just the privilege pretty people get. But again, this is fictional, so it’s not necessarily important in this case. Bro I got into DL cuz of “ooga booga hot vampires” and stayed for the complex lore and characters (especially one complex character, wonder who that could be). I imagine most people got into DL because of that, or out of sheer curiosity.

Ok, I’m throwing out a lot of points but not really connecting them. Lemme give you an example: I don’t like Reiji. His character doesn’t vibe with me most of the time aside from the fact that he’s hilarious. But I just am very neutral/neutral-negative on his character. But I’m not like “oh cuz he’s mean/abusive” cuz LOL EVERYONES MEAN IN THIS GAME. Sure you can still say that, it’s just not a very strong claim. Hypocritical claims tend to be like that. Same with a lot of Yui haters. In this case, they’re more jealous that she’s there and not them, which I’ve explained a lot in this post about toxic femininity and Yui in the fandom etc. But it’s ok to just not like a character! It’s alright! I know someone who just doesn’t vibe with Subaru. She doesn’t know why, she just doesn’t vibe with him. There’s no need to defend it either. But the use of hypocrisy is my main issue, and I’ll get to that in the next section.

(There’s a really good post explaining this too but I cannot find it for the life of me. I think it was made by @/abottleofkarlheinz or @/the-madame21)

How opinions of fictional universes left unchecked can effect real life:

I’ve said this a little bit in that Dialover PSA post I’ve made about Yui that I linked a couple paragraphs ago. But the reasons why people say they hate Yui is concerning. If you don’t like Yui, that’s totally fine! Again you don’t need reasons to hate on a character or defend it. But if you do choose to defend those characters, make sure what you’re saying isn’t out of some other place in your heart. Let me explain.

In that “Yui PSA” post I made, I say how your attitudes in being critical of a fictional universe usually does reflect on who you are as a person, at least when you’re making certain claims. In that Yui post, I say that the hatred on Yui is a result of the “other girl” mentality. On top of that, it erases her experience as a survivor. Yes, this is a fictional character, but bringing that into real life can have some dire consequences if you don’t differentiate them. If you have the same attitude of Yui with other survivors if the “abuser is hot” then thaaaaaat’s so fucked up.

For example, there’s people who have crushes on real life serial killers! That- that’s absolutely disgusting! Those real people killed living people and effected so many lives and families. Dude I have fictional crushes on fictional serial killers, and that’s different, because it is a removed universe. It’s why I can still call myself a lesbian but still have crushes on fictional male characters, for a further example (and vice versa! I have straight friends who crush on fictional characters of their same gender! But that doesn’t make them any less straight. And no, I’m not erasing bi people here either, just clarifying in case if you needed that).

Not being able to differentiate your opinions of a fictional universe can get very toxic. Like I love Laito, but I’m not like “omg I wish he was real so he could do that stuff to me uwu” like no!!! UH!!! I wouldn’t want to date anyone like him in real life! That’s literal abuse! And if Laito was here in real life it’s not a controlled environment, he’d literally be able to do anything with you, etc. That’s what makes a fantasy, a fantasy. They’re controlled.

Also vice versa, some people get really triggered by Dialovers, specifically Laito’s route. A lot of non-consensual acts that he does have been experienced by people in real life in any extent, myself included. For me, it’s a personal escape from that, because it is an environment where I am prepared for those events and can control my exposure to it. For some, they are reminded of the reality they had to experience. Fictional universes are inspired by real life, no matter what way you look at it. Real life people are making it, after all.

I feel like I’m going in so many circles, but trust me, I’m getting to the point.

I- I can’t explain this enough but it is most definitely implied that Cordelia had raped and sexually abused Laito. If it was explicit, DL would be an 18+ game, but they cannot do that in Japan. I’m not going to like defend this point because so many people (myself included) have defended this point. It’s implications carry over into Laito’s character and why he’s like this. He’s a textbook sexual abuse survivor. I just,,,, cannot explain this enough. Same thing with overwriting the abuse of Yui. They get jealous of Yui. Sure I’d say a good chunk of people have ravishment fantasies here. At least the 18+ people in the fandom who are into that stuff. But oh my dear god, ravishment fantasies are super super dangerous to enact in real life. It’s possible to do them, but it would take years of building up to that point in kink. That’s a whole other discussion though and I’m not incredibly comfortable talking about it knowing that minors read my blog (I’ll also have to say here: no minors in kink--its alright to educate yourself but pleaaaaaaaaaase don’t enact on any of those activities until you are of age, and even so that still can be dangerous right as you turn 18).

But anyways, saying that Yui should enjoy this because she’s experienced the ravishment fantasy you’ve dreamed of? Oh fucking hell, if you leave that opinion and mentality unchecked and it goes into real life, that’s incredibly awful. Abuse apologists are absolutely terrible people, almost as much as the abusers themselves.

If you twist the narrative that Laito loves Cordelia or Yui loves the boys at the end of the first game, that’s still––ughhhhhhhh. Especially when it’s so obvious that Laito has so many mental issues with Cordelia. His whole monologue and breakdown at the end of Dark Fate definitely tells us that he has had such an issue with Cordelia. And MB+ Laito is still Laito. As for Yui, dude she literally goes through stockholm syndrome in the first game like it is so goddamn apparent idek how to explain this at this point.

Ok dear god lmao wow, uh I think that’s answering the first couple of questions?

The philosophy of truth:

“Truth” has been an incredibly debated topic in philosophy for years. Truth is more of a subjective item rather than objective. Sure you can have personal objective truths, but they may not be the same truths for others. For example, a tomato is red. However, that tomato is red to me, because I am not color blind. A red-green color blind person may see the tomato as being brown or more muted in color. That’s their truth. They can’t really imagine what red is (ok depending on severity of their color blindness), considering they have not experienced the color red in the same way people who don’t have color blindness do. God uh, here’s a whole ass essay about truth, I’m cherry picking some of the things in there that are relevant to this.

Basically what I’m saying is, truth is very subjective. However, there are philosophers arguing a more objective truth. But that’s a whole other discussion. Also, this isn’t to support any political opinion, but I can use that as an example. Let’s go for well... The death penalty. I’m in America, we have the death penalty in some states. Yes, this is a very controversial topic, and no I’m not arguing the ethics of it here. Just hear me out.

If you live in Europe for example (except in Belarus and Russia––ok when I looked it up they consider Russia in Europe and technically it is but also there’s the whole chunk that is not- lmao even the truth of geography can be subjective), you might be like “yeah what the fuck are Americans doing?” (a common sentiment that I also share lmao). But yeah, what the fuck are we doing? Why is the death penalty still in existence? Yes, there’s statistics that prove that it doesn’t deter crime, but even crime rates is caused by a lot of different things too. Even statistics aren’t always accurate, because of many different factors. They’re not objective either, although good statisticians try their best to get good results and not skew the data. (please try to see where your data is coming from and who it is sponsored by––it matters a TON)

I’d say the closest thing we have as an objective truth to argue the death penalty or not is money. Money, although the concept is subjective, is a very objective currency. It’s why artists hate “exposure” compared to “money” as sole currency. The death penalty is very expensive, and not even used that often.

So, although money is currency made by us, and is technically 75% linen and 25% cotton (in America at least) with some funky dudes n numbers printed on it, it doesn’t sound that special. However, it would be considered as a baseline of some type of “objective truth” in ~society~ because people are typically on the same page of what money’s worth. Even so, this baseline of truth is still subjective! If Bill Gates accidentally has a $20 bill fall out of his pocket, that’s nothing to him! But if someone who’s working very hard to make ends meet loses that same amount of money, it could deal a lot of financial damage to that person.

Ok, hopefully you guys kind of get my drift. There are a lot of theories of truth, I’m just explaining one (honestly I forget the name of this theory) because it is the closest to the types of truth we are dealing with. And in this case, it’s called “canon.”

What the fuck is analysis:

The concept of “canon” is the objective truth that we have when analyzing universes. They’re our bread and butter of interpretation and extrapolation. The art of analysis clings to this notion of an objective truth. It needs a baseline. I’m going off of Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle, because that type of analysis I have the most experience with.

This is called rhetorical analysis. Rhetoric is the use of words in a persuasive fashion, and the analysis part is a breakdown of how words are used in order to achieve persuasiveness. I don’t typically use a lot of explicit rhetorical analysis in my personal writings, but I guess a version of it. Which typically has to deal with intention and execution. A lot of analysis on language has to do with this. Language is incredibly subjective. Certain words carry individual meanings to people. I have gone over the difference between real and lexical definitions before, and I’ll do it again.

I’ll just copy and paste what I’ve said before here from this analysis:

To put it simply, lexical definitions are the definitions you find in the dictionary. This is an “official” and “agreed upon” definition. Real definitions (quite a misleading name in my opinion) is the definition that’s more kind of “felt” in a way and how you internally interpret the word in context (these can be through individuals or any niche group). What I mean by this is that when you say a word (for example) to convey a feeling, you usually won’t know the dictionary definition off the top of your head. You say that something’s “savage” for example when you want to describe something violent or gruesomely awesome (it depends if it’s in a slang context or not) but there’s many lexical definitions (and outdated lexical definitions) of the term. But the first definition that usually comes up is “adj (of an animal or force of nature) fierce, violent, and uncontrolled.”

But people typically don’t think of the lexical definition when they learn what a word means; they usually learn the context of it and apply it as such. And that’s what a “real” definition is. Laito has a differing definition of what affection and love is, and that’s his own meaning and what it means to him.

I’ll even add another example to that too. The word “cunt” in english refers to a vagina. That’s just it. It’s lexically synonymous with “vagina,” “pussy,” etc. However, “cunt” has a subjective meaning to it. This is where “real” definitions also come into play. Many people view the word as vulgar and dirty. And that’s cuz we live in a ~society~ lmao. Our use of language has shaped what this word means in a context outside of the dictionary. I’ll do you one more. The Japanese word マンコ (manko) is also vulgar slang that’s kind of like our word “cunt/pussy.” Sometimes I say “cunt” for jokes, but I don’t use it that often to begin with since it’s just a very strong word to most (albeit it’s not that strong of a word for me). However, マンコ is a strong word to many Japanese people, but if I hear it even though I’ve been learning Japanese, it doesn’t have that same effect as hearing “cunt” for me is (which still, idc if I really hear it depending on context) because I haven’t been shaped in a culture that uses Japanese.

Even so, tone, intention, and context is HUGE in this. If someone called me a “useless fucking cunt” when they’re angry at me, I’d be close to crying. If someone told that to me as a joke, I’d be like “lol yeah you right, bitchass” and if someone said that in a consensual sexual context, it would certainly tickle my masochistic heart.

DSLKFJ also sorry if you don’t like hearing that word, I just had to utilize a strong example for this. But anyways, now let’s change the lens to Dialovers.

No, it never explicitly says that Cordelia rapes Laito. It doesn’t. However, there’s this WACKY thing called being able to infer, reading between the lines, and identifying implications. Those are kind of all the same things. However, indirect exposition is used a lot in effective creative writing. The utilization of this type of exposition is more preferred when writing a story, because direct exposition is kind of referred to as “info-dumping” when used excessively. Forgive my jargon: this is just showing vs telling as we’re taught in every writing class. I’m personally very bad at it, which is why I stick to writing these, and stick to reading creative fiction. (NOT SAYING IF YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT THIS TO NOT CONTINUE TO PRACTICE CREATIVE FICTION, I JUST DONT HAVE THE CURRENT MOTIVATION TO GET GOOD AT IT)

Dialovers uses a LOOOOOT of showing. And even so, its “showing” ability is very minimal considering the Japanese language can be vague on its own, it’s medium (visual novel) does not show a lot of things explicitly most of the time (and even when it is shown it doesn’t convey a lot). There’s several CGs of Laito and Yui where it doesn’t show the amount of pain or the dire situation Yui’s in, compared to what she’s saying she’s going through.

When I made my whole breakdown on Laito’s HDB route from Yui’s perspective, I got several comments about how they didn’t realize how bad his route really was. That’s either because people might not have experience with verbal abuse themselves, can’t exactly see Yui’s body language except her head (and even so, her expressions are limited), or don’t know a lot of gaslighting/verbal abuse techniques/have done research into it. Honestly verbal abuse is kind of hard to realize, so I’m not calling anyone dumb here. Despite me knowing a lot of the signs, I didn’t know I went through it––and even so I’ve denied it. And that’s what is so effective about this game though! Especially Laito’s route! Because you’re also sucked in with limited knowledge because you’re seeing this through Yui’s perspective, and on top of that it’s isolating. You can only make so many choices, and I feel like Dialovers is perfect as a visual novel. You get caught up with a lot of shock value things that Laito says, which serves as a perfect distraction for your first time through. But anyways, I’m getting off track.

For example, many people found his Maniac 07 chapter to be very confusing. I broke that one down here as well, and even so I was confused at first (also I was like 14/15, dear god). It tells you SO little, but you know that Laito’s incredibly upset at Richter for some reason, and even so, Yui comments on it a little too. Laito is shown to still hate Richter in DF, but he talks about it a tad more.

Here’s a further example from my writings in that first part of the Cordelia/Laito analysis series but I have bolded the terms I use to convey this rhetoric:

There hasn’t been any flashbacks that specifically show us the first time that happened. However, I believe that there was a flashback in HDB that shows one of the first times. Here’s a scene from Laito’s Dark Epilogue:

Cordelia: ー Laito…Laito… Laito: …Hm? Is something the matter? Cordelia: I have a favor to ask. It just isn’t enough. You can do it, right Laito? Laito: You really are something…So that’s why you came to me again? Cordelia: Fufufu…That’s right, Laito. Come on, quickly… Laito: …Guess it can’t be helped. I’ll love you plenty. Cordelia: Aah…My cute Laito~ I love you. I really do. Laito: I can do it…right? Cordelia: Of course, Laito. Now, quickly…

First of all, ew. Second of all, Laito’s diction implies that this was maybe the second or third time this occurred. He asks a question, and ends it with “again.” We know by this that it is not the first time, but the question also means that Laito might not have expected to occur again. His tone also implies some surprise to it, at least in my ears. His other question, “I can do it, right?” screams hesitance to me. If this scene took place down the line, or after many times he did this with Cordelia, I don’t believe he’d be some level of surprised or hesitance.

That’s what rhetorical analysis is. You take the contextual meaning of the words, the tone they use, and extrapolate what they imply. On top of this, we know that the term “love” here is sexual, implying that they did something sexual. We are not given the details of this, but considering we know that Laito uses “love” before he rapes Yui in the game, we can infer that’s what happened (or something similar) to himself with Cordelia, considering he projects on Yui quite a bit.

I was going to go over what is good/bad analysis, but I think I’ve implied it anyways here. Utilizing separate information from different sources of canon in order to make sense of something is good analysis. That’s our objective truth: canon. I’m not saying I’m the best at analysis, but I am fairly confident in it. It’s how I’m able to attempt to answer some of your “how would Laito react” questions without it being specifically hinted in the game. You cannot cherry pick specific sentences and go off of that alone for analysis. It’s context. It’s reading tone. It’s knowing the characters attitudes towards things, how they speak, etc. There’s a lot going into analysis in general. I know I didn’t elaborate on Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle right now, but that’s for another date I suppose.

Oh dear god I hope I didn’t lose you guys, I know this is a lot of information, but if you have any questions/comments/clarifications, as always, please let me know!

Hope you enjoyed! -Corn

#analysis #ask corn

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imeverywoman420 · 2 years

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i think i have autism but i never got diagnosed like there are some triggers especially auditory ones that make me want to kill myself. i had an exam recently and someone started to eat a croissant lmao and the sound of them chewing drove me insane like i started to cry from anger and i couldn't focus for at least 5 minutes after they stopped eating. or if someone breaths too loud next to me i wanna rip out my skin and climb on the walls. also once the shoes i was wearing were too tight and i had a panic attack because i felt like my feet were suffocating and i started hyperventilating. when did you get diagnosed i need help 😭

I was never gormally diagnosed but like. When you know you know. Like some symptoms arent vague at all. Ive literally had “melt downs” like scratching myself (not my proudest moment it was so weird) like justngoing Apeshittt i was at my lowest point mentally and the tv from my neighbors was SO loud i was just wailing and crying and screaming into my pillow. Like i flapped my arms as a kid i was obsessed with sonic i have sensory issues etc etc etc.

Like controversial take but self diagnosis is only bad if youre stupid lol. Or if youre diagnosing personality disorders.

Like i was the weirdest child i flapped my arms rocked back anf forth had like. SO many symptoms. but like. It wasnt debilitating so nobody took me to a psych. When ur poor autism isnt autism its “Oh thats chris. He fell in a puddle of mud when he was a kid and oxygen to his brain got cut off qnd thats why he acts so weird and has a monotone voice”. When he was never “diagnosed” with brain oxygen deprivation either. 😭 like idk my family is very weird. Appalachia vibesssss.

Tbh idek when do you get diagnosed with things? Ive literally only ever seen a sheet of paper with diagnoses on it in the psych ward when i was like 10. Like i only ever received diagnoses for ANYTHIGN when i was actively suicidal.

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sunflowerdigs · 3 years

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So, I did a little sarcastic-y review from the salt mines for RNM 3x09. Warnings for excessive sodium content, Maribel mourning, a desire to recycle cardboard, and, of course, Malex opinions. Without further ado:

- Every time Michael smiles I forget for like 5 whole seconds how much I hate that Malex keeps me shackled to this show. Too cute that he brought Alex lunch (and probably hoped he could sneak a glimpse of him) and they're going on their first date (omg omg omg).❤❤❤❤❤

- Kyle should yell at people more. Starting with his garbage friends who left him in a barn without proper triage or jello cups while he was in a coma (why didn't they just keep him at DS if he's having appointments there anyway? Nevermind... ). Alas, he's starting his understandable rage tour with Uncle Edgelord, who, naturally, makes a dramatic statement and tries to leave. I am so glad Kyle called him on that.

- Delmanes would be cute if Greg didn't have the personality of cardboard. They've created a character who is actually only here to remind us of how special and amazing Maria is. Turns out that's not super interesting. And it's so painfully obvious that it's a pair-your-spares situation. I really wish they'd just give her Kyle, he has the patience of a saint. Anyway, Isobel's pigtails are cute af (rip my Isobel/Maria/Kyle heart - I would have taken Isobel interrupting Delmanes and Heather's post with pigtails today as signs if not for genetics).

- Anatsa and Isobel's development seems to have taken place completely off-screen, like everything else gay on this show, so I'm guessing it's gonna stick. Honestly...I guess this is controversial but Isobel and Maria have really good chemistry and a history. I know their bond is supposed to read "sibling" but it doesn't for me. And rather than waste time watching them flirt with these one-note (ah, Greg chimes in right on time with a convenient line any rando could have delivered) LIs, I'd much rather see them get closer. The whole related thing has thrown a wrench into it for me. That said, it's nice to watch a woman be encouraged to go after another woman. 🎉

- Alex the sci-fi/fantasy nerd figuring out immediately that the hallucination is his own subconscious is 100% legit. Much like Kyle not letting his uncle pull a classic tall-dark-and-broody exit, I appreciate Alex's 4th-wall break moment.

- Not Max and Liz proving that discussions about s2 drama can occur on Roswell New Mexico?! What? Must be a straight thing. Lucky them.

- Isobel is actually acting a lot like Sherlock Holmes when he's on a case, from the wardrobe to the focus, and it's hot. Also, totally believable that Isobel would be able to pull up that pod from under the ice because we know she's been training even if it didn't happen onscreen. Because she told us. Just a suggestion.

- I love the idea of Jim Valenti as a double-agent, but I don't see how Eduardo thought he could keep Kyle safe by never knowing him. It feels like there's a lot more here Eduardo isn't saying.

- It wasn't a sister-fight that Maria and Isobel had, but whatever (no one got physically shoved or brought up a horrifying memory from 100000 years ago to shove in someone's face in public - doesn't count).

- Also, why would you waste a glass by throwing it into the fireplace? Wouldn't it just explode back in your face? Man, the show is trying so hard with Maria and Greg, I want to give them some kind of romance-novel award for effort (but not success).

- Not Liz and Max showing us that it's possible to move forward by discussing your past mistakes like adults instead of pretending they didn't happen!? What? Must be a straight thing. Lucky them.

- Draw a line on the bottle? No way, Valenti, he obviously wants you to chuck that whole thing straight into the fire in a fit of passion to prove that his words had an emotional impact.

- Also, Kyle wins the prize for this episode for that speech to Uncle Edgelord. Everyone go home. When do I get a Kyle and Alex spin-off where they travel the world, defying sci-fi tropes and seducing beautiful men and women?

- Not Liz and Max talking loudly about aliens while breaking and entering! This one is actually very believable, I take it back.

- It was idiotic of Liz to trust Heath. And Echo keep having this same fight because MAX IS RIGHT BUT THE SHOW WON'T LET HIM BE. Which is so obnoxious. I would forgive Liz for almost any sin (like, idk, getting a better romantic storyline because she's straight) because she's gorgeous and smart and tough and I wanna go live with her and her mad scientist energy on a deserted island somewhere. But she's being real dumb rn.

- I love the t-shirt and if Vlambase doesn't sell one I will. But he couldn't have held up a radio and blasted some Barry White? I feel like that would have cleared everyone but Alex put of the building real fast. Also, what is time on Roswell NM? Was Alex just setting the alarm every so often for kicks? Does Eduardo really not check in on staff who are working with dangerous technology for days on end? Also, why is this entire plot happening over a single goddamn episode instead of two or more so that we can really feel Alex wasting away under the machine's influence? The reason this twist is at all surprising is also the entire plot's undoing - Alex's demeanor wasn't exactly one of a man obsessed (or an addict, tbh) in his last scene.

- Anyway, back to Rizzoli and Isles. I definitely am always super excited to hear the details of my sister's sex life. All the time. That is totally a sister thing except where it's really not. Do any of these writers actually have a sister? I feel like they must because the Michael/Max/Isobel sibling chemistry is always bang on but Maribel is just...flirty lady city. Oh, and look, the beard just showed up with coffee to cockblock - it really is R&I!

- Back to Alex's plot line, which, much like Isobel's coffee, is Express To-Go. He's become haggard and worn in the time it's taken Michael's mom to find a cute sweater in the void. Seriously, we wasted like 3 whole episodes where Alex was presumably sitting in DS twiddling his thumbs and now he's being worn down by the machine in a single episode? Why didn't this plot start back in episode 3 or 4? Like...look, I don't come on here to be an asshole. But I just really hope they're taking note of what worked this season and what didn't because HOLY PACING FIASCO BATMAN. Just because you're giving us Malex doesn't mean everything else can just be hot garbage (not the acting, Taylor's doing his best to sell this). Also, when did Alex put his leg back on? I have so many questions but they aren't the good kind, so Michael better ride in soon and save this mess.

- Regarding what Nora is saying, it's fine, it makes sense but the zero build up makes it completely ineffective. Alex is afraid he doesn't love enough - it would have been nice to see that over several episodes instead of just being told in a burst of sudden exposition but, you know. Nice straight things we can't have, I guess.

- If Michael and Alex want their relationship to "purr" they could, idk, talk through their past misunderstandings like people in relationships do. Or the show could keep throwing exposition bombs at them, idek.

- Are those empty toilet paper rolls inside the machine? I knew the CW was budget but come on...

- And we finally get the Heath connection and it's to our brand new trope-y character, Wise Old Black Man Dallas. It's surprising but only because the 4th alien didn't exist before this episode. So, good job.

Overall, not the worst episode of RNM ever. I only wondered why I watch this show maybe 3 times this episode. And Michael's enthusiasm for Alex was adorable.

#malex #roswell new mexico #review #rnm spoilers #3x09

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