#i've had this for a while and keep forgetting to check others' interpretations of him

[ace-n-mooch-daily]

Today's Ace is an incomplete doodle board of AUs and interpretations of himself that will be updated someday

#acen'moochdaily #undertale yellow #ace uty #uty ace #i've had this for a while and keep forgetting to check others' interpretations of him #i will get back to this sometime #uty rusty redemption #uty devotion #the other three are just my friends' interpretations #top left is for my friend's unnamed AU #of course we got the AnMD Ace himself #and uhhh #if you need context for that other Ace with heart eyes #no you don't #nor would you want it #mod chive

[dxy-drxxm]

SYNOPSIS: Kaeya has a lot of things he enjoyed about you. Or, well, admired, to be frank.

CW/s: tooth rotting fluff, short drabble, kaeya is a hopeless SIMP (/silly), tbh he's just a silly guy who can't confess if his life depended on it (and... It did lol), can be interpreted as platonic or romantic (it's both, but it's a slow transition from platonic to romantic hehe)

NOTE: hi, this drabble is for @ryuryuryuyurboat for @ecrin-de-litterature's "kiss (don't tell)" event! I hope you enjoy a drabble of Kaeya being a hopeless simp because as much as I'd like to write a full blown date with him, I've been busy since college and I want to curl up and pass away. orz.

Kaeya never says a lot about the person he admires.

For him, the Cavalry Captain had more than enough to take care of. Maybe it was due to the job that kept him busy, or even because of how life gave him a batch of lemons that he needed to deal with.

But when it comes to certain people like who he's seen now, it made him feel as though he became but the same child when Cyrus adopted him all those years ago.

He still remembered the first time you two met—you were one of Lisa's attendants. An assistant, one could say. You're always available whenever Lisa isn't feeling the urge to check in the library, which is often, and Kaeya had decided to try and see what you're like.

Sure, you may have panicked and treated him like a stranger, but it wasn't long for you two to get close. Soon, you're treating him like you two have been friends for years, joking and laughing over certain things.

Kaeya couldn't help but smile. He always liked seeing others express joy when he couldn't.

Though, little by little, the dynamic seem to change. Others pointed out to him that you and Kaeya had been together for quite a while now, always speaking and chatting over the most mundane things.

Petty drama from the knights, Lisa's recent books and those who borrowed arriving late, the many foreigners that came about when the traveler would be busy in another region... You two had a lot to talk about, and sometimes, he didn't notice how much you two could never stop speaking of such things.

It was stupid, he's aware, but he wouldn't lie and say he didn't like it. On the contrary, he enjoyed that time being spent on something he considering to be enjoyable.

You made his days less unbearable. Like he can wake up one day and think that things will be fine.

He admired that charm from you. You make it seem so... natural.

There were even moments that the two of you shared. He remembered your first Windblume festival with him, the first time you've spent working for a year with Lisa (it was your work anniversary, he joked to you once), and even down to when you two travelled to different nations together.

He's seen it all— your highs, lows, and even the turnarounds. He's heard you rant and ramble of the nations, and yet he felt his pride raise when you'd return to Mondstadt, still calling it your home.

It was clear that you have seen that place, out of every nation, as the best. In return, he did his best keeping it safe. Although, there had been moments he would mess up.

He may act confident, but when alone, he'd feel like he's a lost child again. He loathed that feeling.

The first time you've seen him act like it was when you two spoke of each other's pasts. Kaeya has told you what happened between him and Diluc, and he could never forget the way you hugged him for hearing his voice crack.

He cares for Diluc, like how he cares for you. However, how could he say the same for his adopted brother? Would he ever do the same thing you did to him?

... Perhaps. Perhaps not, even.

Still, he couldn't help but think how much he can even handle this feeling. It's a secret he's kept that your actions made him feel like he can be free, yet he kept himself trapped by will.

He was trapped in the feeling of admiration and envy, clashing and fighting against each other. It made his heart soar and ache when things happen, both because of you and because of himself.

He felt envious of you. He wanted to say that to you, but seeing you smile got rid of that envy.

...

It was a strange conundrum. One that left him sleepless for nights on end... And that's when it clicked.

He realized that it was a form of self-sabotage.

Kaeya didn't want to ruin the relationship you two had as friends, so he kept it under lock and key. He threw the key away, denying that he felt something to you. Denying that he felt as though he loved you that way. He couldn't. He didn't even know the answer.

...

It was stupid to worry. It truly is.

But now? How could he not worry?

He's done this to himself. Even if others told him to say it, to utter those words he forbade himself from speaking, he kept his mouth shut. You two are friends, and he's far too used to admiring you and your acts from afar.

He's craved to admire someone that would make him feel this way, and he got what he asked. Although, he couldn't bring himself to hate you for charming him like that.

After all, that is what makes you you. And he doesn't want you to lose the only thing that fits you perfectly.

@.dxy-drxxm | do not republish, repost, or copy my works anywhere | 2024

#🌙 | simple dream #genshin #genshin impact #astronetwrk #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaeya genshin #kaeya genshin impact #gi kaeya #kaeya alberich #genshin impact kaeya #kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya #— kiss (don’t tell) ! #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗

[0shewrites0]

theory | Why Lucas brought Blake back

I was discussing this with a mutual Lucas stan a few days ago and I can't stop thinking about it because it just makes SO MUCH sense.

So, I'm just going to put it out there. Feel free to disagree with me or respond to it with your own interpretation, I'm so curious what everyone thinks. Especially Lucas fans...

@mercedesdecorazon ‘s fic reminded me that I wanted to post this so here you go 🤌🏽

More under the cut but prepare for a loooong post 👀

Day 7: Remember when the girls have to decide who is most vs least likely to leave with a girlfriend? We all know if you want to keep Lucas, you have to tell them you want to keep Henrik and vice versa.

Day 5: Remember when you return from your dates and the girls ask you if you like the new guys (Lucas & Henrik), you can tell them, "No, neither of them"? Let's say you go with that. Later, your LI tells you that he overheard Marisol say that "you fancy both of them", even though you said the exact opposite! This is going to get important in a second, bear with me 😌

Day 8: Lucas wants to have a chat on the roof terrace and says the following, "I know you wish it was Henrik who stayed instead of me".

Remember? Yes? Okay, well, have you never thought - How??? Where does he get that impression? Why does he think that? And how does he "know" that? That's a bit of a strong word, isn't it?

And then the thought occurred to me -

What if someone (probably Marisol, but we don't know that) told him that you told the girls the night before that you wanted to keep Henrik? (I mean, you had to because reversed psychology, but let's forget that for a moment)

And if someone told him that, of course he's going to think, wait, she doesn't even like me. It makes sense that Marisol is that person because she desperately wants that spark, and so far it hasn't happened. And Rocco got dumped. So Lucas is really the only option for her at this point.

Day 9: When you pick Lucas for your date, he reacts very confused and really surprised, which - again - makes no sense unless he thinks MC doesn't really like him. At least not as much as she likes/d Henrik. Because boy, my MC has been flirting with Lucas the whole time! And Marisol is pissed that MC chooses Lucas - "Hey! That's who I was going to choose!"

Day 10/ OP NOPE/ Gary and Lucas in the kitchen with the smoothie machine: Lucas says that maybe “he should and check on Hope".

Right? While your MC is standing right in front of him. That always bothered me and I didn't understand what his damn problem was, but now it makes sense:

He thinks MC chose Henrik over him, and now that Henrik is gone, he doesn't want to feel like a second option. So he feels he has to keep his options open - that's why he says that about Hope (who we know he fancies!)

Maybe - and I'm going out on a limb here - he even says it as a subtle dig at MC, like, "You don't like me? Well, I’ve got other options. Doesn’t mean I have to stay with you forever!"

Disaster Recoupling: if MC picked him on Day 9, he will "return the favour", as he puts it. He likes MC (probably more than he'd like to admit), but he's still so insecure. And instead of talking to her about it, he keeps it to himself, swallows it down and lets it eat him up inside.

Casa Amor: I guess Lucas wanted to stay loyal and didn't necessarily enjoy the kiss he shared with Blake in that challenge. (I agree with you here, @mercedesdecorazon ) Jakub just said it looked like he enjoyed it. But after seeing the video of the girls, insecurity about MC's true feelings caught up with him again and he thought (which he makes clear after the stick & switch recoupling when you talk to him on the roof terrace) that MC would switch "for sure". Which she obviously didn't.

Stick & Switch Recoupling: MC comes back alone while Lucas brings Blake back. I suspect that the moment he saw MC sitting alone, he thought, I screwed up so badly. She'll never forgive me for this and now I've lost everything.

And that's the exact moment he realises that not only does he really like MC (that he's actually falling in love with her - I mean, he's picked a girl so similar to MC, that says it all), but that MC likes him too. She came back single, she stuck with him.

Day 18: When you decide to save him from being dumped, he walks over to you without even giving Blake a glance. Because it's you he wants. Who he's always wanted. And now that he's realised you want him just as much, he's all in. 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Day 24: In that way, it also makes sense that he was so jealous and insecure again when Henrik showed up at the Villa again. He needed so much reassurance, although we could never claim that after how he did us so dirty with both Blake and then Elisa, but it's just the old fear of losing her to his buddy. The fear that's still in the back of Lucas' head telling him that MC likes Henrik more than him, which she clearly doesn't and never has.

But that idiot never opened his mouth, goddamn it! 😭😭

I don’t know about you but knowing this makes it so much easier to forgive him. He’s just insecure and wants to be prioritized. He wants to be loved by MC. 🥺

#litg #litg s2 #litg lucas #litg blake #why Lucas brought back Blake after Casa Amor #litg theories #I love him so much I can’t even 😭 #I desperately want to believe this PLEASE

[inkrabbit]

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Below the cut is general information

Notes for Ghost!

Occasionally, I will reblog the ghouls (Era 5) unmasked! However, I will always tag it with "#unmasked ghoul" or "#unmasked ghouls". If you don't want to see the people behind the mask, please block these tags!

Just so we're clear: I call Era 5's lead guitarist "Sodo" instead of "Dewdrop"! I've seen a few people on tumblr upset about people calling him something different. Understand that this is my preference and I will not be changing it. And no, I will not respond to any questions asking about this.

When writing for the Papas, I try to swap between the masculine and feminine versions of terms of endearment. Italian is very unforgiving and I try to swap between both versions as a way to stay "gender neutral". No, it doesn't always work and I've been trying to find ways around it, such as pet names being something the Papa likes, such as Primo using "griasole" (sunflower) while Secondo uses "uccello canoro" (songbird).

I do occasionally use American-Italian slang, especially if I'm writing for Ares or Secondo. I try to always translate these since you can't use google translate for them, but sometimes I forget or skip over a word. If you're curious to know what the word is, feel free to let me know!

Most of my requests have been uploaded to AO3! The Papa's Favorite for all of your Papa needs, and Into the Ghoul's Den for the boys! Note: Not all of my requests have made it over from Tumblr to AO3, but I'm hoping they will one day.

Notes for Bully!

As stated in the request section, I will NOT accept any asks or DMs regarding student/teacher relationship. I don't care if it's hinted ingame, I don't care if it's what you want to see. It will NOT be tolerated on this blog.

When making fics for Bully, I try to incorporate actual dialogue from the characters. This helps me keep them more in character, and also gives me a good opportunity to use any cut beta dialogue or actual interactions.

On the topic of cut beta content: The Boy's Dorm in my fics will always be the beta version. This is really just the same layout as the Girl's Dorm, but with a more masculine color palette (brown/tan walls with blue carpet).

If you want to now more about my own personal headcanons for any character or clique, feel free to ask!

Notes for Repugnant!

Similar to their music, my Repugnant fics and/or headcanons can get incredibly dark. Please be sure to read the warnings first if the fic or headcanons have them!

Because we don't have much content for the band (such as no interviews to display character personality or interactions and we're only given a glimpse of personality for Mary), my interpretations of the band members might be different from others.

I will not sit here and debate what is "right" or "wrong" for each band member. Yes, I have seen some other headcanons and fics. No, I personally do not agree with all of them. But that's why it's a headcanon and not actual canon. If someone likes my headcanons and uses them, great. If they hate them, that's great, too.

Sometimes I will let the musicians and characters overlap. For example, I headcanon that Jimmy Hopkins from Bully has a passion for music just like his VA. I headcanon that Sodo from Ghost has a more soft-spoken/shy persona when off stage just like his musician. Repugnant will be no different.

If there are any questions regarding my own personal headcanons for these four, again, feel free to ask.

And that's everything! Thank you for stopping by and checking out my blog! If you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask or a DM!

#updated: Dec 09

[anxiouslyfred]

My Camping Holiday interpreted by the sanders sides

If I were to compare me, mum and mark on last weeks holiday to the sides well...

Let's start with before the holiday. at that point I was Virgil, checking I could fit everything into my bag that I thought I'd need, still almost forgetting 1 important thing but essentially being the one to stress over everything to the point I didn't want the holiday at all

Also remained Virgil while putting the tent up, cause let me tell you, NEVER TRY PUTTING A TENT UP IN HEAVY WIND AND RAIN

I stood for a while panicking and holding up a bit of tent cause the tent pole had snapped after being put in place. the weather was not helpful and broke our fucking tent. I spent the first night terrified it would fall over on top of me cause guess who claimed the section of the tent with the snapped tent pole. so yeah, I was Virgil for that first day.

The closest I got to being Logan on the trip was in searching places we thought about going or things we were asking about on my phone and being the only one of us to check for WiFi cause why constantly use data... well that and I read 6 books in a week, 2 of them poetry collections, 1 graphic novel, 1 silly books about cats, and 2 Terry Pratchett novels. most actual books I've read in a while.

Roman was definitely who I was when literally just vanishing from them both, walking along a section because we were at a seaside town but to find it I had to go exploring. (Boscastle has like a harbour bit that I think is naturally formed by the land so the town isn't directly on the seafront)

I think Mark was Logan. He always plays tetris to get everything in the car and trust me, after an hour in it, let alone 4 I fell like a tetris piece too. everything must be in a bag and he will fit it in... and almost forget to include my clothes cause I didn't put them on top of the other bags waiting to be packed into the car.

Let's be honest here too, mark is usually Logan, obsessed with numbers (plane id numbers, eddie stobbart numbers, bus id numbers, you name it, he seems to keep note of it), with a literal stalk his family app to keep track of where they are and they do so in return, and tended to be the one figuring out the plan along with being designated driver cause I can't drive and he refuses to add mum to his insurance.

Remus possessed Mark on the second to last day, technically the last but we stayed at his that night instead of coming straight home. I say this cause he decided to fucking stab their air bed.

granted it had punctured in the night, but guys, Mum and I were both on top of this air bed, trying to deflate it when he came into the tent with whatever stabby thing wasn't packed out of reached and got annoyed at me for instinctively trying to get away from the bed and him cause he tripped on the tent. sorry for not wanting to get stabbed remus mark, it's NEVER going to be on my to do list.

Also I know our tent has ways to section off 2 rooms which we use on these holidays, but that doesn't mean mark should just strip off in the main section of the tent, right in front of my completely open section. fucking hell, he definitely wanted to be intrulogical on that day and definitely gave evidence to why I was right to forever keep my section closed

Mum was Patton, actually, calling it now, except for the constant fucking annoying self-deprecation, she's generally always going to be Patton or maybe Roman on this trip, absent minded and emotional, making dumb unfunny jokes (I yelled at her about one in a service station on the way back, only so much repetition can be taken for her misguided views mascarading as jokes)

I think the only side that I can't say any of us blatently embodied was Janus and for that all I can say it that it took till the last day for me to yell at either of them. Janus was definitely in me keeping my mouth shut so I didn't need to get a train home or something.

I think I'm just going to avoid being included in the next camping trip/ next years holiday. Perhaps I can get Bethany to double book me or something.

#Fred rambles #camping #translating my life via sasi #sasi

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

I've been thinking about an AU where Yui is Little Red Riding Hood and one day while she is walking in the woods she encounters a badly wounded white wolf, she helps him, but it turns out that this wolf was actually a man (Carla) who ends up kidnapping her.

Do you think this is a good idea or is it just too boring and I should forget about it 😣? Do you have any ideas I could add?

I wouldn't have said this was boring anon, I think it has the potential to be pretty interesting!

It's a little difficult to offer ideas as what I have in mind would depend on whether you wanted to write a one shot or a full on multichapter fic.

If you just want to write something short then in my mind keeping things simple but with some nice interactions between characters can actually be a good way to go. The tension of Yui walking through the woods, maybe feeling like someone else is there and then finally stumbling upon Carla is definitely something you could play with and then from there it would just be a case of working out how long you wanted to spend on Yui interacting with Carla as a wolf versus after it's revealed that he's actually a man.

One thing I would also say is don't be afraid to leave a one shot on something of a cliff-hanger. If you don't have any ideas on what happens after Yui gets kidnapped (or you're just not interested in writing that part of the story) then you don't have to. In some ways it can be quite fun to provide the audience with the set up and then let them decide how they see the rest of the story unfolding. In fact you, as the author, don't even have to have a clear cut reason as to why Carla kidnaps her if you use this approach, you can leave it to your audience to reason it out for themselves based on how they interpret the characters.

However, if you did want to write a longer fanfic, then that's where you'll want to build a bit more of a plot. Again, I can't offer too much in terms of ideas because the sort of plot I'd come up with would depend on whether you just wanted the story to be focused on CarlaYui or whether you wanted to make it a much grander affair and potentially include some of the other DL characters later on in the story. With all of that in mind, here are the key points I'd consider if you want to write a multichapter fic:

What is Yui's living situation like prior to meeting Carla? Is she just living with Seiji? Is she living at the church? Has something happened that means she's become embroiled with the Sakamaki brothers? If you want to include some broader world-building then this is definitely something to consider.

Why was she walking in the wood? Had she been sent to go and check up on an elderly parishioner? Had someone tried to lure her into the forest for some reason knowing Carla was there?

Why is Carla injured and why can he transform into a wolf? It could be that Carla is some sort of werewolf, or maybe he's just a sorcerer who's able to disguise himself as wolf. You could even keep him as a founder and just twist the setting of the DL to fit with the fairy tale theme. As for why he's injured, was it on some sort of personal mission? Is he being hunted for some reason? How does this play into the standing of the Tsukinami family in the world of your story? Was this all a ploy to lure Yui into coming to him (see my point below)?

Why does Carla kidnap Yui? What does he want from her? Is it just that this is the first kindness he's received in years and as a result some animal part of him latches onto it and decides to take her for himself? Or does he have some grand goal in mind? If it's the latter, you'll want to consider whether there's something special about Yui and whether Carla was potentially aware of her before running into her. You could easily use some rehash of the canon storyline for the founders (i.e. some need to restore the bloodline) or if you wanted to move away from that then maybe Carla or the Tsukinami family is under a curse that he thinks Yui will be able to break or any other reason you can think of.

I hope that at least some of that is helpful anon! Like I said if you're just interested in writing a short one shot you really don't need to worry about including any sort of grand story ideas or plot twist—as long as the characters get a chance to shine, no matter how mundane the setting, then I guarantee someone will enjoy reading it.

#fic advice #ask #good luck if you decide to write it anon!

[orangefoxes]

Hey, so I've been trying to submit a prompt but it won't work so here it goes I know this will be sad but what if Neil gets really sad and depressed (the reason is up for interpretation ex: bullied by jack or is haunted by PTSD) and so he becomes full of self hate and becomes anorexic and cuts himself #andreil (this would mean so much since I've been through similar circumstances and was strong enough to pull through and keep living, this book and your Tumblr have helped me so much)

Hi @soph-ie21 I am so sorry this took a whopping 4 years for me to post. I’m terrible for not checking my inbox as my notifications have been turned off for tumblr since I was like 13. I’m so glad to hear that you recovered from your ED, you must be so strong and I’m so proud of you as I know how difficult that is to do. I’m hoping this is the sort of prompt you were looking for, if you’re even looking after this long, as it’s not very dialogue heavy, but here you go.

TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDER, SELF LOATHING, ANOREXIA.

When in high stress situations, to cope, the brain releases a hormone called cortisol. It’s alright in small doses, helpful even. It triggers your fight or flight response and readies the body to do something, fast. Constant exposure to the hormone however, has some not so good long term effects. Effects that include, but are not limited to: high blood pressure, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, and, arguably the mildest, weight gain.

Cortisol results in weight gain for two reasons. The first is because it slows your metabolism, and the second is because the drop in blood sugar from constant high blood pressure means that you start craving fatty, sugary foods, which leads to overeating. Neil’s memory is not nearly good enough for him to recall what foods he had craved over the years, but he and his mother shied away from sweets and chocolate for dental reasons, it probably would have been a hardship for many kids growing up but Neil had never much cared for sugar anyway. However, what he and his mother did indulge in is a lot of fatty, fast food. Partly because it was cheap, partly because it was something they could eat while on the move, and partly because no one would look twice at two sketchy people in a Burger King or remember a beaten up old car briefly pausing in a drive thru.

While never giving much thought to how he looked (short of checking for ginger roots and the bruise on his cheek from where his mother had slapped that smile from his face), Neil does remember his weight fluctuating a lot when he was younger. The more stressful the months, the chubbier he got. It was in the quiet periods as he and his mother settled down and didn’t dare to venture into the supermarket too often that he began to lose it again. It was a cycle.

In Millport, Neil was at his lowest weight yet. There was only a solitary McDonald’s in town and Neil wasn’t about to become a regular. He stocked up on tinned food from the supermarket in his first week in town instead and meticulously made his way through them, heating the can up on the hot plate he had bought for four dollars from the thrift store in the high street.

He gained weight again once he started at Palmetto, he gained muscle mass too. This, of course, was thanks to three free meals a day and a new training regime with daily exercise. It was to be expected, but if, perhaps, he gained weight quicker than his teammates and muscle slower, well, he had bigger things to worry about.

Then he knew he was going to live.

Then everything with the Moriyamas was…well, not gone, but resolved.

That’s not to say there was nothing to stress about. There was the influx of reporters wanting to catch the Foxes’ attention to ask about Nathaniel Wesninski. There was Kevin’s impending break down as Riko’s funeral came and went. There was Aaron’s trial. Honestly it probably would have gone as stressful situations for Neil always go - here and gone just as quickly - except it turns out that Nicky cooks when he’s stressed, and Neil, well, he’s a stress eater.

After Aaron is declared innocent, Nicky resumes as normal. Neil…not quite. He’s constantly opening the cupboards to look for something to eat only to close them again when he finds nothing of interest. Without Nicky cooking, there’s nothing he can easily dig into and Neil, while accumulating many skills over the years, had never been a hand in the kitchen. The only things ready-eat that were consistently in the dorm were ramen and ice-cream. Even the thought of ramen makes Neil want to vomit and Neil wasn’t so desperate that he would resort to eating something as sweet as ice cream. Not that Andrew would let him if he did. (Andrew wasn’t a sharer).

He started to feel hungry.

He was always hungry.

The first few days he started to skip meals, he didn’t even notice he was doing it. Surely he didn’t notice he was doing it.

It’s just -

Here’s the thing.

Maybe he stress eats. Maybe his mother did too. They spent long car journeys with a family sized bag of potato chips resting by the gear stick and they spent half the time stuffing handfuls into their mouths and the other half checking the mirrors for cars that stayed behind them a touch to long. So maybe he stress ate, but it was never because of hunger: it was because of craving. It was because it gave him something to do with his hands. It was only when things quietened down, when the weeks turned long with the monotonous almost-existence that took up the majority of Neil’s life growing up (here’s something no one tells you about life on the run, in between the moments of sheer terror, it’s very very very boring), it was only then, that Neil actually began to feel things like hunger.

So when the hunger pangs began to curdle in his stomach, well, he didn’t mind. It meant he was safe enough to feel the hunger.

Maybe for the first couple of days he didn’t notice it. But then he noticed it.

He noticed enough to avoid things like rice and bread. Danger foods that packed on the calories and that made him bite the inside of his cheek until it bled at the mere thought. He noticed enough that he began to watch the others train and saw their muscles flex and couldn’t help but track their muscle growth and measure it up against his own. He always found himself lacking.

That’s when it started to get worse. If Allison spent 20 minutes on the treadmill. Then Neil would do 30. If Kevin did 40 push ups. Then Neil would do 50. If Renee had a salad for lunch, then Neil would just have a fruit pot.

The first time Andrew noticed that he skipped a meal, Neil just blinked. Being who he was, Neil didn’t do stupid things like stumble for lies and this time was no different. When Andrew asked about him not eating Neil just blinked like he hadn’t even noticed until Andrew brought it up.

He blinked and said “oh, you’re right. I got so caught up in watching exy reruns i didn’t even notice”

He said, “thanks, I’ll grab something in a sec”

Andrew breathed a scoffing breath down his nose, rolled his eyes and called him a junkie. He didn’t look at all surprised, as though Neil was only confirming what he had already guessed. Which of course is the trick all good liars employ.

Neil wondered if he would be surprised if he were to find out how impossible it would be for Neil to forget a meal time. He could never forget. All he thought about was food. It was all he thought about.

Food began to feel like it was all he cared about. Cared about more than school. Cared about more than exy. Is it terrible of him that that more than anything else feels like the worst thing?

And then, as things do, it got worse.

It turned into Neil stood in front of the mirror (looking at his body but not his eyes, never his eyes) and pinching the flesh between his fingers. Noticing every part of him that didn’t harden into muscle like the others. Noticing all the scars that had stretched strangely over a waist and thighs that are no longer as small.

He begins to peck at his food. Rip it into tiny pieces. Andrew looks down at his plate and glowers at him. Neil gives him a cheeky grin. He knows what he’s thinking. That this is just another one of those Andrew-mannerisms that Neil is taking on for himself. Like the sarcastic salutes and the blank, waiting stares. It’s so much easier to hide how little you’ve eaten when it’s all in pieces.

He didn’t know how to explain it. He just knows he needs to be thinner. He needs to weigh less. It’s not about looks. It’s never been about looks. He just needs to do this. He needs to be smaller. It will be alright then. Because then…then…

Well it will be alright then.

So here’s the thing about guilt and self loathing: they’re useless emotions. Andrew would be quick to agree. (Though Andrew is a hypocrite and is chock full of the both of them). His mother would agree too. How many times had Neil slipped poison into someone’s drink, stole from someone just as desperate, shot someone who maybe or maybe-not deserved it? And how many times after that did his mother pinch and prod at him and repeat the same mantra of “don’t you dare let guilt slow you down, you slow down and you’re dead”

Well, Mum, he’s slowed down. He slowed down so much that he’s stopped altogether and guess what? He fucking hates himself.

He replays it all in his head like a terrible loop. The boy in Switzerland that he tricked into taking his jacket so His fathers men would go after him instead. The old women he and his mother tricked into housing them and then slipped something in her tea until she slept and never woke up again. The homeless man who had broken into the house they were squatting in that Neil had shot on instinct. Seth.

Seth. Seth. Seth.

He fucking hates himself. Honestly the hunger pains kind of feel like the best thing he’s ever felt after that. The pain, the ache, he deserves it.

Then it gets worse. Then comes the worst part.

Andrew’s meds change again. The others had begun to make him irritable and he always had an energy crash by about 5pm and a terrible headache. The new ones wouldn’t be of much note as they did nothing groundbreakingly different, short of getting rid of the headaches and not sapping so much of his energy.

Except for one key side effect of the meds.

They suppressed Andrew’s appetite.

More and more Andrew is missing meals. He won’t even eat more than a tablespoon of ice cream. Neil watches him and adjusts himself to suit. He doesn’t know why, but he just can’t be eating more than him, he can’t.

The frustration he feels about Andrew’s meds soon turn to resentment. He hates that he has to watch Andrew not eat and not seem affected by it at all. Andrew lessens his exercise under Betsy’s advice and yet nothing changes. His weight stays the same. He probably even loses some thanks to the loss of muscle. Neil watches and Neil hates. He hates that if he skipped out on training he would pack on the pounds, he hates that his stomach hurt and hurts and Andrew doesn’t spare a thought on food at all.

He starts to avoid the roof. He starts to dodge Andrew’s gaze the same way he does his own in the mirror.

The next time they’re alone and Andrew leans in, more hesitant than he’s been in months, Neil jerks back and snaps “No.”

It isn’t even completely because of the resentment. The majority of it is because he feels disgusting and fat and he can’t bare Andrew touching him right now. Can’t bare him looking at him.

Andrew’s face closes off and he slides back to the other side of the couch. He’s searching Neil’s face, trying to find the misstep, trying to find what he did wrong.

Good, let him think he did something wrong.

Now that’s the resentment.

It’s immediately one of the worst things Neil has ever thought. He remembers sitting, trembling, on the roof, Andrew refusing to touch him saying “I wont be like them, I wont let you let me be”

And Neil’s trying to make him think, wants to make him feel -

Jesus Christ. He’s a piece of fucking shit.

He slams his way out of the dorm and runs and runs and runs.

He sleeps in the locker room and slumps out in the morning so he’s first in the main room for the meeting with Wymack. He sits on a chair that’s as far away from every other seat as it can get while still completing the make do semi-circle around where Wymack usually stands. When the others begin to filter in they take in his new seat, but don’t comment when they see his storming expression.

When Andrew sees him he pauses for a beat in the doorway before continuing to his usual seat on the couch. He stares at Neil blankly, but his hands are clenching and unclenching in his lap. Wymack hesitates but doesn’t say anything. The others play at being uninterested and only Aaron openly looks between Neil and Andrew with a steadyingly darkening expression.

Neil slams his locker and gets changed in the cubicles for the first time in months. He’s vicious in practice. Throwing in as many dirty moves as he can. Andrew stands in the goal and does nothing. When it’s only Wymack’s sharp whistle that stops Neil bringing his racket down on Matt’s arm when he attempts to steal the ball, Neil is benched.

He yanks off his helmet and slumps down on the bench and tries to remember how to breathe through rage.

He’s sat, pinching at the skin on his thigh, for ten minutes before Allison joins him. She holds out a breakfast bar and Neil stiffens.

“Eat, it might help you stop being such a raging asshole,” she says.

Neil takes the breakfast bar and when she doesn’t immediately leave he opens it and snaps a bit off with his fingers.

He stares down the rolled oats and nuts and grimaces at the sticky feeling of the syrup that holds them together. He feels sick.

“Are you going to eat?” Allison says.

Neil looks at her and huffs a bitter breath through his nose. A wry smile pulls at the corner of his lips.

He remembers that Allison battled bulimia for years.

You can’t lie to a liar.

She looks at his face. Concern trying to become anger that she’s trying to force to stay concern. She looks at his face and then over at Andrew, who is stood in his goal watching them as Kevin shouts at him to fucking do something already. She looks back at Neil.

“You know, relationships are hard enough without mental health problems in the mix. Seth and I were a terrible combination for many reasons and that was one them. I’m not saying it can’t be done or that it shouldn’t be done, I’m just saying it makes it so much harder. He used to try to make me eat. I hated him for that. Hated that I had to hide my own habits in my own room. One day, after he stopped me from going to purge one too many times we got into an argument. I said some disgusting things to him. The next day he was in the hospital because of an overdose. He had to get his stomach pumped. You know what the worst thing is? I don’t even remember what it is I said. I don’t know if what I did triggered him or if it would have happened anyway, but it couldn’t have helped. You’re always going to trigger each other at one point or another, it’s unavoidable. But if you know that and you don’t do anything to help yourself…well that’s when every shit thing you think about yourself starts to become true. So tell me, are you a piece of shit that’s going to drag everyone down with you, or are you better than that?”

Neil looks down at the breakfast bar. He still can’t make himself eat it.

He swallows harshly against the lump in his throat. He has to swallow two more times until he’s sure he can talk without crying.

“What’s betsy’s number?” He asks.

Allison doesn’t smile, but she nods like he’s done the right thing and pulls out her phone.

SIDE NOTE: I’d like to point out that Neil is very flawed and toxic in his thinking and Allison is harsh in what she says to him just because she’s a harsh person. If you have an eating disorder I know sometimes help and recovery seems like the worst thing in world and something you really don’t want, but please, please seek help. You can do it.

#Neil josten #andrew minyard #Allison Reynolds #the foxhole court #andreil #all for the game #anorexia #eating disorder

[jelly-space]

Here are some of my headcanons for Oliver because I adore him so much. I love how differently he is interpreted and drawn by the fandom, these are just how I tend to imagine him. Forgive the bad writing, I've only written academic essays and like one fanfic one shot when I was 12 so it may come off as awkward to read.

♡ Super self conscious about his looks. Doesnt understand how to take compliments but wont stop someone if they decide to lay on the love. Do it enough and he'll be smitten in no time.

♡ Will go to many lengths to get someone he's fallen for to do the same to him. The harder he falls the more he forgets that people typically dont like being stalked and def arent into murderers.

♡Will get upset if object of affection starts to avoid him. If they keep steering clear of him it wont end well. Will start with denial on his part and end with a mess for his "sweetheart"

♡ Vicious cycle of baking to destress and feel less lonely, not having anyone to give his treats to and then getting stressed about eating too many sweets. Will leave suspicious looking bags of goodies on random countrys doorsteps to avoid it as much as possible. America and Canada have become masters are sneakily discarding said treats when he gives it to them in person.

♡Amazing baker but not such a good cook. His food is edible, and he has a few dishes he excels at but he tends to make everything too sweet or bland. Part of that may have to do with the fact that he can not stand most spices(he's in the cilantro tastes like soap party) and because he will regularly put sugar in his recipes thinking its salt and will not taste to check.

♡ Personal space? What's that? He may be bashful to strangers but the second he gets closer to someone, personal boundries go out the window. He's touched starved so anyone that talks to him more than once should expect a lot of too close for comfort moments.

♡ Tries to be a good listener but gets distracted so easily. On the other hand he can talk for hours.

♡ Doesnt label himself as anything because he's not very up to date on almost anything nowadays, but would be considered pansexual.

♡ Give this man an inch and he'll make a mile. Tell him more than two compliments and hes already planning the first date. Many unsuspecting humans end up being a target for his infatuation, none of them have ended all that well though.

♡ Has had and still has a crush on many different countries, but considering they're a bit more volatile/uninterested, he's a lot less certain and outgoing in his affection. When hes frustrated over not being able to be with someone he'll purposefully go out looking for humans to be with.

♡Is good at hiding his emotions when he wants. Is a master at smiling away his problems, at least until he gets home. Then he will either A: start panicking to himself B: try to distract himself with a hobby C: Call up Allen, Matt or Francois to vent D: go out to "vent" his frustrations on some random human or E: Drink, and let's hope it never gets to that

♡His body is as soft as can be. Oliver is, as he would say, pretty chubby. He has a slightly protruding stomach(not a hard fat stomach but a soft fat type if that makes sense), thick thighs and fat built up in his upper arms. He also has a double chin and chubby cheeks.

♡His hands, on the other hand, are surprisingly thin and nimble. If you were to ask him what part of him is the prettiest he'd likely say either his eyes or his hands.

♡Is very high maintenance with his nails and hands in general. Lots of sweet smelling lotions, nail filling and nail polish is used to keep them looking nice even with all the work they go through with his baking. Usually will go with clear but hes got an arsenal of pastel polishes he'll use when he's feeling cute.

♡Calling him fat is the easiest way to get on his hit list. He'll except being called chubby by those closer to him but it's best not to mention it at all unless you're gonna give him nothing but complements for an hour straight.

♡Freckles, freckles everywhere. This man is covered in them and he's endlessly self conscious about them. He's grown accustom to the ones on his face since they've become quite popular in recent years and hes been getting complements on them from humans he passes by while out. But gets rather shy about the rest of his body and will usually only show his arms because he really is covered in them head to toe. He'll even avoid rolling up his sleeves while baking so he doesnt have people seeing them.

♡Speaking of freckles, there's another reason he tends to leave them alone now. Centuries ago he had used makeup to cover his face, but the ingredients used...weren't so kind to his skin. Luckly his face healed over time but now he gets flashbacks whenever he sees foundation.

♡Is a master manipulator. He may not be good at catching small details because of him getting easily distracted, but he is good at reading people in general. Enjoys messing with people's emotions and steering then into whichever way he wants. It helps that he acts and looks kind and attentive, people think he has good intentions when hes really just twisting how they feel and act to benefit himself.

♡Oliver can be very delusional in many different ways. He wasn't always like this but since he had to deal with a lot of terrible stuff growing up as a country, it's how he copes and rationalizes his life. The delusions can rang from mild to severe. Someone looks at him for a second too long? They must think he looks silly in his outfit. Person runs away when they find out he's stalking them? They're just playing coy. Allen wants to seperate from him and become independent? Francois and Matt, and who knows who else, have brainwashed Allen into hating him will have to fight to bring him back to normal.

♡Like his 1p counter part, Oliver does dabble in magic but to a lesser extent. He focuses more on potions and spells that he can use against others or to spy, but as magic can be unpredictable and unreliable at times(at least for him) it's usually a last ditch effort.

♡Can see magical creatures and has a few that he is close to. He feels a connection with the fae; he thinks they have a lot in common. But he tries to keep them out of his home for that very reason. He was afraid of them stealing away Allen and Matt when he left them home for too long. Now they both have fears of fairy's because of all the scary stories they've heard over the lifetime.

♡Gets pretty stressed when things are too loud and hectic, would probably need to excuse himself at least once during a 1p world meeting if he ever went to one.

♡When it comes to technology he is absolutely clueless and refuses to learn it. The newest stuff in his house is his new oven that took him a solid year to fully understand and small stuff that Allen has bought like his new tv. Allen is usually the first person that Oliver goes to for advice on technology since Matt is not much better than himself.

♡On that note he is a sucker for older technology, his favorite thing besides his kitchen is his gramophone that he'll use to play the massive collection of records he owns. He'll listen to music from any place he can get his hands on but he had a particular love for French music.

#aph 2p england #2p england #2p hetalia #oliver kirkland #2p headcanons #2p hetalia headcanons

[taeteetoo]

What each member brings to the group? BTS Hobi edition!

NB: This reading serves a purpose of appreciating Bangtanies 💜

Cards pulled:

CLOVER - STORK - TREE

The first thing that caught my eyes was the clover. How many times have we seen him be the actual embodiment of sunshine and positivity? Besides positivity, the clover talks about small luck & taking a chance (reminds me a bit of the fool in tarot in that sense). It’s represented by jupiter, sagittarious, and as the 2nd card relates to the month of february which he was born in. ayy fellow aqua

Stork can mean enhancement and the tree growth so there’s just an overflow of positivity when they connect with the clover. Also, all of the cards are red, intensifying that message once again.

The tree besides life and health I highly relate to connections between people, specifically karmic/soulmate relationships. Just like the roots of a tree, he holds/connects the group. I mean, Hobi was called the 2nd leader by Namjoon for a reason.

The stork in the center I think really ties all three cards together well. It talks of an upgrade, a new elevated beginning, productivity, movement. Once again as the clover, relates to planet jupiter but also uranus (old ruler of aquarius).

To me, it seems like he was born to be on the stage as a performer and reach great heights (also must mention movement - dance). With that energy, he influences the members greatly and in return, they are one of the most passionate group of people I ever saw.

All of them don't lack in that aspect, in fact, they constantly raise each other up. It just goes to show you what can one achieve when there are great teamwork and compatibility between people.

Back to Hobi! To touch upon the "new upgraded beginning" - he has gone/might go through several "transformations" in his professional life (this isn't a predictive reading so I'll stick to what we know and my interpretations heh). What I mean when I say transformations, or more accurately “reaching new levels”, is this: think about how he was originally a dancer but started rapping only when he joined bighit and then continued to grow until he ultimately took that title and made it his own. Singing is not unknown to him either (in fact one might say hobi king of vocALS. alongside his sope-me partner, naturally). Moreover, his stage name, J-Hope, wasn't something he felt he lived up to in the beginning but he quickly grew into it and now he shines hope and positivity naturally wherever he goes. He just keeps adding things to his list and is exceptionally good at all of them.

Basically, Hoseok inspires his members because he always strives for higher grounds with determination and professionalism, which he ultimately reaches because of his multitalented nature. And he does all that while staying positive. He also has a role of "the 2nd leader", holding the members together in one big embrace.

Now, I know that throughout this reading I've mentioned words like positivity and optimism countless times so I just want to put this part in too: that side is just the part of him that at first stands out to people the most, therefore is the big part of the reading. I wouldn't want any of us to forget how complex he is (as any other human being, really), especially since in the past he has talked about his struggle of balancing the hopeful J-Hope vs. the doubtful Hoseok.

2 - balance, opposition, partnership

17 = 8 - balance once again, abundance, power, determination

5 - balanceee (2+3)

I felt super giddy while shuffling the cards and had a smile on my face the whole time lmao sunshine’s effect.

Though the messages weren't flowing out as usual this post somehow turned out longer than I expected.. I planned to post this before their 7th anniv but uni got to me. Anyway, good luck to anyone going through the exam season, you have all of my support bubs! Hope you enjoy this little reading mwahh

For other readings similar to this one check out my masterlist or #my readings #bts readings <3 

#hobi #bts #my readings #bts readings #lenormand #jhope #hoseok #divination

[daesungindistress]

Hi, Not a Seungri defender as such, but I've also not "cancelled" him yet. I've personally been following the investigation and evidence closely (like to the point of checking Korean sources). I don't know if it what I say matters to you, but I wanted to reassure you that a lot of the VIPs who are OT5 rn, aren't supporting blindly (although there's a few). In my research, I've found most accusations are unbacked media claims. However, if solid evidence should show. I'd change my opinion on it.

*to clarify what I mean by evidence. A lot of the accusations media claim Ri has done or is being investigated for are false. The assumption he was in the MOLKA has so far been disproven. The prostitution claims don’t meet up with other evidence (women out right deny it) And the two burning sun videos, both the woman dragged out and the woman supposedly drugged, have both stated these are but true. I’m not one to believe things blindly but all he women involved have denied all accusation (rn).

I understand that you want to wait for stronger evidence that might convince you to “cancel” him altogether, and that’s fine, but this far into the investigation much of the fandom has seen enough to decide that Seungri’s role in Big Bang has come to an end. The way I look at it, that is the spirit behind OT4 vs OT5. It doesn’t have to be about hating Seungri specifically, it’s more about Big Bang’s longevity… and at this time it’s tough to envision a Big Bang that can live on with Seungri in it. On that subject, I have to stop there because I’m currently in the process of writing another post about this, and I don’t want to use up all my thoughts on it here… or have to resort to repeating myself there.

As for the rest, I agree that Seungri probably isn’t guilty of everything he’s been accused of. But it’s likely he’s guilty of some things. Some of which may never be proven in court because, remember, he told his friends to change phones before turning them in to the police – which they did. It’s recently been reported that Seungri himself submitted a new phone too. He’s currently being investigated for that, this destruction of evidence, so we’ll see if it goes anywhere. By the way, this info was gathered by police during questioning of Seungri’s friends (CJH, JJY, etc).

This is an extremely important point to me. Because if he did tell his friends to ditch their old phones, and took the same measures himself, then that’s practically an admission of guilt, albeit an indirect one. Guilt for what, you ask? We may never know. He made sure we wouldn’t. He pledged to cooperate sincerely with the investigation, but… that doesn’t sound like cooperating sincerely to me. It’s exceedingly weird to me that people aren’t talking about this more.

As for the prostitution claims, yes, some women interviewed have denied. I mean… of course they’re going to deny it, prostitution is illegal in South Korea and confessing would land them in trouble. And yet, it is also possible that they’re being truthful and they are not, in fact, prostitutes. I’m willing to believe that. Keep in mind, however, that there have been multiple chats released that appear to be alluding to prostitution mediation / acting as a liaison in various locations, and the investigation is still ongoing. Police have said recently that they believe they’ve obtained some credible testimony and feel they’re making progress on those allegations, so again, yes or no, we’ll just have to wait and see. Seungri claims that many of those chats are being taken out of context. For some of them, I can accept that. For others… that rosy tint is fading fast.

The Burning Sun video of the woman being dragged is irrelevant, I think. Just a misunderstanding. Last I heard, that video showed her being forcibly removed from the club for causing a disturbance; the woman herself wrote the club a letter of apology and paid for damages. It is true, however, that women have been assaulted and secretly filmed inside the club Burning Sun; not sure about CCTV footage, but police caught two employees who were doing it, using a VIP bathroom and filming it on their phones. IIRC at least one of them is in custody. And many more women are speaking out now – specifically, about how they tried to report problems related to the club but were ignored or silenced by the local police (Gangnam district). It’s quite clear at this point that Burning Sun itself was a hotbed of illegal activity. Many arrests have been made on charges of drug use, and a few for drug distribution.

I’m not actually very interested in discussing Seungri’s role in Burning Sun, as I’m not convinced yet that he had much to do with the seedy goings-on there. Even the prostitution stuff I’m still pretty ‘meh’ about for reasons I don’t feel like going into right now. Gambling = whatever, his drug tests were clean, embezzlement… yeah that’s not great, he’ll probably just pay a fine. Tax evasion, again, sucks, probably another fine. Police collusion… jury’s still out on that one, but it definitely doesn’t reflect well on him, that he’s being questioned about it at all. Remember his comment: “Korean law is shit, that’s why I love it.” Dude. Dumb thing to say when you’re a highly-regarded celebrity who people look up and admire. And now it’s out there for the whole world to see.

Whew. And we haven’t even touched on the main source of fans’ outrage: m o l k a

It’s true that Seungri wasn’t in the majority of JJY’s molka chats and was instead in a chat reserved mostly for business. However, he was sent at least one molka video, and he did see it, because he responded to it. I’m not too fussed by his reply (”Who’s that? Oh, Oo-hyung lol”)… it comes off as more dismissive to me than anything – uninterested, mostly. Unfortunately for him, many are interpreting it as amusement. At the very least, he was aware of JJY’s molka/spycam fetish, because in his Chosun Ilbo interview he said, “Of course I tried to stop him. When I met him in person I tried to stop him and said, ‘Don’t do stuff like that, you’ll get in really big trouble.’” There’s no question anymore whether he did or did not know about his friend’s dirty habits / crimes against women. The most concerning thing, to me, is that he didn’t seem to care enough to cut ties with him because of it. If he had made a visible effort to distance himself, I think people might be more forgiving.

Also strange is his total failure to mention the women affected in any of his apologies. He’s taken the time to apologize to his former agency YG, his bandmates (seen translated as “teammates”), his fans, the Korean public, and even Mr. Kim following his assault by police at Burning Sun… but never once the women. Why? What does that say about him? I’m not sure, but I don’t think I like it.

In the end, here’s what it all boils down to, for me: whatever the extent of his involvement, it’s pretty obvious at this point that he’s not some innocent lamb being led to slaughter. Seungri let this relationship drag on for years and stuck with it, this shady bunch. This wasn’t just a one-time thing, a simple mistake anyone might make. Worse, he was warned by his hyungs many times – on camera, even, in front of fans, in front of TV audiences. They begged him not to mess up while they were away and Big Bang was dependent on him. They trusted him with the name BIGBANG. Will they, or anyone else for that matter, be willing to trust him with it again?

I hate to say it, but it looks like Seungri chose these people over Big Bang. He chose Jung Joonyoung, Choi Jonghoon, Yoo Insuk, and others over Kwon Jiyong, Choi Seunghyun, Dong Youngbae, and Kang Daesung. Forget the warnings, OT4 teased, complained, and scolded him often enough about not spending time with them outside of band-related activities. Well, I guess now we know why. He had other friends, other loyalties, other priorities. Even as recently as late February of this year, when the first KKT chats were dropped (the Arena prostitution chat), Seungri’s first concern was contacting his friends to make sure they’d be safe in the event of a “mandatory police investigation”. I don’t think he’s this horrible person that so many are making him out to be, no, but this is not behavior befitting a member of a world-renowned boyband with a tremendous following of adoring female fans. It’s a coveted position of great power and great responsibility – to his fans, to his bandmates, to himself. But with his burgeoning interest in business, I guess Seungri felt he had better, more important things and people to attend to.

And then on March 11, 2019, he saw the writing on the wall and left Big Bang.

I’m sad to lose him. But I think, in a way, we lost him a long time ago. We just didn’t know it yet.

#this is a mess #not my best post #typed it out in one go #no time to proofread #anon #ask #seungri #burning sun #at least he resigned from bb when he did #I'm grateful to him for that

[stolligaseptember]

Sorry if I'm bothering you, but I just want to ask: how accurate do you think Matpat's theory on Article 13 is? A lot of people have been panicking about it (including me), but now that I've seen your posts on the subject, I'm really starting to doubt if there is anything to be afraid of. It's just hard to focus on looking for facts when the entire website is panicking, so I hope you can kind of clear this up for me (and a lot of others). Again, I hope I'm not bothering you! Have a nice day!

It’s no bother at all! I said I was here to answer all of your questions, so that’s what I’m going to do!!

But. Oh god. This whole mess started with a YouTube video, so I guess it was only inevitable that it would finally circle back to another one.

Okay so. I’ll be honest, it took me about 3 hours to get through this video. 18, if you count the fact that I started it before I went to bed last night. And like. He’s not wrong about a lot of things. But he’s not a lawyer, or a law-maker. And he’s definitely not a European one. Which you kind of need to be to understand what the hell is going on here.

He’s just misinterpreting a lot of things. And he’s misunderstanding how the entire EU-law system, and Europe's law tradition in general, works. Which, like, he’s an American, and not even an American lawyer, so no one can really blame him for that. But what frustrates me, and what actually makes me really fucking angry, is that he’s somehow claiming that he does understand this and that he somehow holds the authority to explain it to others. Which he clearly doesn’t.

So okay. What is going on in MatPat’s video. A lot of shit.

What first struck me is that he misses the bots. Like, his entire fear mongering tactic is based in this idea that all media platform would have to develop content ID bots. And that would indeed be a bad thing. But what he forgets to mention is that the bots have been removed from the new draft text. The draft that he, by the way, quotes himself. So I don’t know if he forgot to read the entire article, of if he just forgot to mention it. That’s very unclear.

But what really struck my nerves, and what made me so upset that I actually couldn’t fall asleep last night, was that he claims that the term “good faith” is somehow too vague and is because of that bad legal writing. And I’m not going to lie, that got my goat.

“Good faith” is like the least undefined term within all of European law doctrine. It’s about the most important principle we have. Bona fide, anyone? YEAH. That’s good faith. Trust me when I say that all lawyers, and everyone that has even gotten close to working with rights, know what “good faith” means. God, we have over 400 000 books and articles on “good faith” just in my uni library. “Good faith” is so far from an undefined term.

And no, “good faith” doesn’t somehow mean that copyright holders will have the final say in what will and won’t constitute as a copyright infringement. What “good faith” means, very simply put, is that you have to have trust in each others good faith while dealing with each other. You must be able to trust that the copyright holder is indeed the copyright holder, and that the media platform is indeed able to fulfill the obligations that’s put on them. When the directive says that they should cooperate in good faith, it means that they must cooperate in a way that the legal barrier for good faith is reached. I get that this is all sounding very weird, but that is kind of what you have lawyers for. We’re supposed to have read those 400 000 and more books to be able to conclude if something has been conducted in good faith or not. But no, this writing does not in any way open up for an arbitrary interpretation of copyright law. It does make things a lot more legal-technical, but that’s the way copyright law is looking right now.

And then. I don’t know what happens next honestly. He somehow manages to connect the “good faith” requirement and the conclusion that content ID bots will somehow stop content from being uploaded??? That’s a mental jump that I really can’t follow, but okay. 

First of all, because the bots are no longer on the table. Second of all, because dealing in good faith has nothing to do with the bots. But if we forget all about the bots altogether, good faith will still never give copyright holders the right to file unfounded copyright infringement claims. Either something is copyright infringement, or it isn’t, and the copyright holders and media platforms should cooperate in good faith to make sure that copyright infringement doesn’t happen, and you always have the legal framework in the back to make sure that unfounded claims of copyright infringement doesn’t happen, and that the requirement of good faith is met.

And this is complicated, I get that, but that’s what I’ve been trying to say all along. Copyright law is weird and complicated as fuck.

He also can’t make up his mind if content ID recognition is a good or bad thing. Like first he says that if they had kept the bots in the text (and that’s where he says that the bots have been removed from the text, but he doesn’t clarify that further) then everything would have been a-okay, but then like 5 minutes later he says that the content ID (which!! Isn’t even in question anymore!!!!!!!) is the work of the devil. And I’m sorry, but I’m on a bit of a personal vendetta against YouTube right now, and this is exactly the stance that YouTube themselves have taken. They’re going “oh, article 13 is literally hell brought to life!!!!” but then in the next breath they go “BUT BOTS ARE A GOOD IDEA”, and I’m getting whiplash just trying to keep up with them. It’s contradictory as hell, and I can’t even figure out what people are really worried about or not these days.

I think a lot of people are just screaming because they want to scream, but that’s another story.

He also says that the directive will be “implemented by the end of this year” which is just an outright lie. Even if you’re generous and stretch that to the end of 2019, it’s still an outright lie. The next round of votes happens in early 2019, and EU bureaucracy is a literal hellscape, so that’s just not happening.

He also compares this to GDPR, but I’ve already explained why can’t do that. Regulations and directives are completely different legal documents, and unlike regulations, directives have to be actually implemented into each member state’s national law system. And you always have an implementing period of at least 2 years for this. But like, that’s the lower bar. You can push the high bar pretty goddamn far. It’s not unusual to see member states take up to 5-6 years to implement directives, and the commission can’t really do anything about it, as long as the member state can prove that they’re working on it.

Like, I don’t remember just what it was we were supposed to regulate, but I remember we studied this one directive that Sweden took like 7, if not 8 years to implement. And we where honest to god just stalling, because we didn’t really want to regulate what the directive said that we should regulate, and we needed the time to find a way to work our way around it. So when the commission came knocking to check if we had implemented the goddamn directive yet, our government was all like “oh no, you see, this is very foreign to our law system, and we have a very hard time seeing where it could fit in, but look at all these reports we’re writing and at all these experts we’ve hired to try and work it out”, and as soon as the commission had left again, seeing how we were at least giving the impression of trying to solve it, they were all like “OKAY BACK TO STALLING”. So depending on your member state’s outlook on this directive, there’s really no telling on how long it will take before it’s implemented.

The claim that the European copyright has a narrower definition of “fair use” is also just an outright lie. This is the exceptions and limitations to copyright that the InfoSec directive allows;

(a) use for the sole purpose of illustration for teaching or scientific research, as long as the source, including the author’s name, is indicated, unless this turns out to be impossible and to the extent justified by the non-commercial purpose to be achieved;

(b) uses, for the benefit of people with a disability, which are directly related to the disability and of a non-commercial nature, to the extent required by the specific disability;

© reproduction by the press, communication to the public or making available of published articles on current economic, political or religious topics or of broadcast works or other subject-matter of the same character, in cases where such use is not expressly reserved, and as long as the source, including the author’s name, is indicated, or use of works or other subject-matter in connection with the reporting of current events, to the extent justified by the informatory purpose and as long as the source, including the author’s name, is indicated, unless this turns out to be impossible;

(d) quotations for purposes such as criticism or review, provided that they relate to a work or other subject-matter which has already been lawfully made available to the public, that, unless this turns out to be impossible, the source, including the author’s name, is indicated, and that their use is in accordance with fair practice, and to the extent required by the specific purpose;

(e) use for the purposes of public security or to ensure the proper performance or reporting of administrative, parliamentary or judicial proceedings;

(f) use of political speeches as well as extracts of public lectures or similar works or subject-matter to the extent justified by the informatory purpose and provided that the source, including the author’s name, is indicated, except where this turns out to be impossible;

(g) use during religious celebrations or official celebrations organised by a public authority;

(h) use of works, such as works of architecture or sculpture, made to be located permanently in public places;

(i) incidental inclusion of a work or other subject-matter in other material;

(j) use for the purpose of advertising the public exhibition or sale of artistic works, to the extent necessary to promote the event, excluding any other commercial use;

(k) use for the purpose of caricature, parody or pastiche;

(l) use in connection with the demonstration or repair of equipment;

(m) use of an artistic work in the form of a building or a drawing or plan of a building for the purposes of reconstructing the building;

(n) use by communication or making available, for the purpose of research or private study, to individual members of the public by dedicated terminals on the premises of establishments referred to in paragraph 2© of works and other subject-matter not subject to purchase or licensing terms which are contained in their collections;

(o) use in certain other cases of minor importance where exceptions or limitations already exist under national law, provided that they only concern analogue uses and do not affect the free circulation of goods and services within the Community, without prejudice to the other exceptions and limitations contained in this Article.

That’s way more than the few exceptions that MatPat lists. And he’s also completely incorrect in European copyright law not somehow being flexible? Like, we’re not idiots, c’mon.

EU law isn’t stagnant; they’re living instruments, and we always interpret them in the light of the contemporary time. This is a skill all European lawyers are mercilessly trained in. EU law documents are worded “vaguely” and openly because we need the space to be able to make different interpretations depending on the situation. Like, the claim that point k, that lists caricatures, parodies and pastiches is somehow narrow? No?? This is where memes, and all other forms of parodies and caricatures and pastiches falls in. But just because you call something a meme doesn’t mean that it can’t be copyright infringement. You still have to make an evaluation of the actual situation. And that’s where lawyers and judges in every single member state come in; lawyers and judges who have been trained in both copyright law and EU law, and who knows how to interpret both the national law and the directive.

Because, once again, this isn’t aiming at making Europe into one coherent law system. It’s aiming at harmonizing the European law systems, but at the end of the day, it’s still always up to each and every member state of how they want to implement the directive.

Then there was the safe harbor issue. In this he actually is correct. The very aim of article 13 is to remove the safe harbor and to put a share of the responsibility of the copyright infringement on the media platform. Like, that’s the entire idea behind the article. So, once again, if you think that this is a bad idea, then yeah, go ahead and keep fighting article 13. And I’m not here to get political, but just why is the idea of removing the safe harbor such an egregiously bad idea? You as an individual is not going to be affected by it. It’s these big, multi-billion companies that will have to pay content creators their fair share of illegal copyright infringement. And why is that bad for you? Just food for thought.

And as usual, I have no idea how understandable this whole mess is, so don’t be afraid to ask me follow up questions, or anything else that you’re wondering over, and I’ll try to answer as best as I can!

#article 13 #swearing tw #alllevelsrobin #storytelling september

[helshades]

Hello, I've been reading you on Mélenchon these days and would be interested in your opinion on his treatment of the bonnets rouges movement. I find some appeal in his political views but am detered by his unequal interpretation of social movements. I credit it to his somewhat jacobin/nationalist upbringing, and would like to have your thoughts on what his legitimate or not to him. Thank you, have a good day.

Hi! Quite a good question, as I don’t think too many journalists have taken the time to scrutinise the similarities and differences between the ‘Red Caps’ of yesteryear and the current ‘Yellow Vests’, even after Prime Minister Édouard Philippe, during a ‘Questions to the Government’ panel at the Assembly, drew that parallel to promise that his government would not be intimidated by the protests—at that time, the movement was only three days old:

‘Let us remember the Red Caps. Confronted with social difficulty that collided directly with their engagements [during the presidential campaign], the previous government [P.M. Jean-Marc Ayrault’s] chose to step back. Our goal is entirely different: we would keep the line that we proposed during the presidential and legislative elections.’

—20 November 2018.

Here, I have to make a long-ish pause to explain to whomever is reading this outside of us both and doesn’t know who the ‘Red Caps’ were, well, who the ‘Red Caps’ were, precisely.

So, back to 2013, in the north-west of France, in the Brittany region. On 18th June, a collective of thirty local company leaders call Bretons and the French for action against a special tax that is scheduled to be applied to all heavy goods vehicles circulating on some state-financed and locally financed roads in the country starting from 1st October, colloquially known as ‘HVG eco-tax’.

The thirty company leaders, who are gathered at the Chamber of Commerce and Industry at Pontivy, are asking for the eco-tax to be suppressed, for (employers’) taxes in general to diminish, and for ‘administrative constraints’ (for employers) to be reduced. Amongst them are notably: Jakez Bernard, president of certification label ‘Produced in Britanny’, Alain Glon, former food-processing industry honcho, now president of a regionalist think-tank, Olivier Bordais, who manages a local supermarket, Jean-Pierre Le Mat, president of a big employers union (C.G.P.M.E., aimed at small & smallish business owners), Jacques Jaouen, president of the Brittany Chamber of Agriculture.

Soon they are joined by two big union federations: the National Federation of Farmers Unions, Finistère (one of Britanny’s départements) branch (the F.D.S.E.A. is pretty right-oriented) and the Force Ouvrière (‘Workers Force’, a big Trotskyist union) union branches for the big slaughterhouses Doux (chicken) and Gad (pork). This changes everything, as it allows for a massive, noisy joint demonstration on 2nd August—during which the protesters infamously destroy a drive-through unit meant to detect eco-tax-ready lorries installed in Guiclan.

It doesn’t change much. Months pass. And then, in early October, the Rennes Commercial Court declares that the Gad Inc. slaughterhouse in Lampaul, in Finistère, which works pork meat, must be shut down, whereas others in the same group may remain active; Gad employs 900 people in Lampaul, but their branch has been hit hard by European concurrence. As a matter of fact, while production is being transferred from Lampaul to Josselin, a hundred of interim employees arrive from Romania, paid less than 600€ per month; fixed-term contracts at Josselin are no longer being renewed as a new European directive is about to pass on posted workers. On 21st October, 350 ex-employees from Lampaul invades the Josselin abattoir: according to police reports, 400 Josselin employees exit the factory to fight them.

This all happens during a three-week movement organised by agricultural syndicates on 14th, 21st and 28th October, the protesters aiming at another eco-tax drive-through unit in Pont-de-Buis. They are farmer unionists and the ‘Committee for Convergence of Breton Interests’ (C.C.I.B.), which was created in Pontivy on 18th June as an interprofessional organisation uniting business representatives and academics, aiming to make propositions concerning economy and employment in the region.

On Saturday 28th October, several hundreds of protesters destroy the unit at the Pont-de-Buis motorway toll. The rather heated crowd wear red caps inspired by the 1675 ‘révolte des bonnets rouges’, which under Louis XIV’s reign protested an increase in taxes, and which took place in the west of France but was fiercest in Lower Brittany. That same day the Pont-de-Buis unit is destroyed, F.D.S.E.A. Finistère president Thierry Merret calls the protesters to gather at a regional meet-up on 2nd November in Quimper, capital of the Finistère département.

There were two big demonstrations in November: the one in Quimper, and the one that took place on 30th November in Carhaix-Plouguer (former county town of Breton Cornwall). The latter was organised by left-wing collective ‘Live, Decide & Work in Brittany’, created by Carhaix mayor Christian Troadec, Thierry Merret, worker & union representative for Force Ouvrière at Gad, and Corinne Nicole, union representative for the General Confederation of Labour at big chicken abattoir Tilly-Sabco in Guerlesquin (a family business which provided lot of work in town but got hit hard by international concurrence). In Quimper, the demonstration gathered up to 15,000–30,000; in Carhaix, around 17,000–40,000 (numbers vary because unions and the police have had trouble agreeing on them, traditionally). The collective comes up with a ‘charter’ for the good bonnet rouge, in reaction to the worrisome, extreme-right additions to the Quimper crowd.

The eco-tax was imagined in 2007 during a ‘Grenelle’ for environment, and unanimously voted in 2009, which had already ired many business owners in Brittany, over a thousand of whom had manifested on motorways; united in a ‘Collective of Breton Actors of Economy’, representatives for the National Federation of Agricultural Holders’ Union(F.N.S.E.A.), the National Federation of Road Transport (F.N.T.R.), the Chamber of Commerce and Industry… as well as ‘le Médef’, the largest employer federation in France, to which adheres the richest business leaders in the country, very powerful, and not very friendly to labour rights in general. The collective obtained a 50% tax allowance on the eco-tax from the government.

By taxing 800,000 heavy goods vehicles that circulate on the free portion of French motorways, the government aims to collect public transport and railway freight, amongst other things—since they won’t tax the rich. Except since 2012, too many businesses have gone bankrupt in Brittany. Liquidations follow ‘restructuring plans’ and hundreds are getting fired. The eco-tax would mean a drastic rise in the prices of goods.

By spring 2013, all has been made ready for the system to start on the first day of 2014: 200 units equipped with cameras have been installed, a lucrative contract has been concluded with Ecomouv’, a private company charged with the task to collect the tax, which it is already doing on Italian and Austrian motorways. The French government hopes to collect one billion euros per year with the eco-tax.

On 16th October, after two days of heated protests, Prime Minister Jean-Marc Ayrault launches meetings to ‘dialogue’ with the population for a ‘Pact on the Future of Brittany’, announces financial measures and a special aide for the food-processing business. All along November, the revolt is reaching the rest of the country, where dozens of road blocks are organised, speed cameras are destroyed, as well as a few other eco-tax drive-through frames. The Prime Minister arrives in Brittany on 13th December to sign his Pact for Brittany—two billion euros.

There still are 140 units left almost intact in French tolls, since, as the Minister for Transports remarked, once the electronic equipment removed, regular check-ups to make sure they won’t crumble cost much less than actually taking them to pieces. This is what is left of the ‘eco-tax’. As for the Red Caps, well, they evolved into a bunch of collectives, some of which still exist to this day to promote various operations, including demonstrations, that concern Brittany. They never forget the gwenn-ha-du, the ‘Black & White’, the flag of Brittany… Yes, Brittany has a flag. Brittany has a language. Brittany thinks it’s Wales, which is a little silly considering Breton is a Brittonic language like Cornish, not a Gaelic one, like Welsh. Anyhow, Breizh dreams of independence. One day, it will throw bombs at the government, when it has discovered how to make them from cow dung. (I actually, genuinely love Bretons. They’re utterly fruitcake, but they protest like nobody’s business.)

All of this to provide some cultural context to what I am about to translate. So, this is Jean-Luc Mélenchon fulminating back in 2013, before his current La France Insoumise movement was created, when he was co-president of its predecessor the Front de Gauche, a coalition of radical left parties: socialists, and communists who shared anti-capitalistic, anti-liberal, Euro-sceptic views. The FdG was created in 2009 as alliance between the French Communist Party and Parti de Gauche, which Jean-Luc Mélenchon co-founded with people who, like him, quit François Mitterrand’s Parti Socialiste which was veering more and more towards (neo-)liberalism. The alliance aimed to ‘constitute a left-wing front engaged for another Europe, social and democratic, against the ratification of the Lisbon Treaty and other current European treaties.’

Yes, it wasone tasteless farce, that bonnet rouge affair. For sure, the eco-tax reallywasn’t the panacea of any good ecological politics! It’s actually, mostly, alure, as it’s not really targeting the motives behind massive livestock transportationvia road transport. It will always be more profitable to transport 45,000 pigsa year on European roads in appalling conditions rather than kill them here,for as long as Europe will allow for dumping social to take place, which forinstance permits to take advantage of profit with German abattoirs. Thegovernment doesn’t give a damn about this. Anyhow, it doesn’t care for anythingthat can be planned ahead, because of ideology and of self-delusion both. See.The eco-tax was supposed to encourage road transport to convert to fluvialtransport and railway freight. Yes, except no plan for freight development wasset in motion to regulate the ever-increasing flow of lorries on the roads.Quite the opposite, I’d say. The government is at the disposal of the EuropeanCommission, very slavishly indeed, and the Commission was very demanding onthat point. In exchange for two years delay at best, so as to reach theobjectives of deficit reduction, the Commission demanded that the liberalisationof the network increase. The liberal reform, consequently, was presented duringthe Ministers’ Council on 16th October. As for fluvial transport,one of the very first measures of the Ayrault government was to abandon the Seine-Nordcanal project. In other words, it was half-assed, as always with thisgovernment.

This takesnothing from the fact that the government’s climb-down on this point is a giftto the bosses. Under the guise of defending employment, it is in fact the freedomto go on producing further and further away from wherever the goods are to beconsumed that is being protected. Bruno Gentil, president of federation FranceNature Environnement, said something very right about this: ‘This isdeplorable, there’s no political courage here. A measure that was voted by theleft as well as the right is called into question as soon as a bunch of peoplebreak some public equipment. Unfortunately, I don’t think this will solve breeders’problems… Environment has become the scapegoat for economic issues. We are gettingthe financing of the energy turnaround very wrong’.Indeed, afew hundreds of bosses and militants from the FNSEA farmers’ union manifestingsome violence were enough for the Ayrault government to back down. Those whoordinarily have no complacency for a worker’s teensiest egg throw weren’tremotely scandalised to see FNSEA and MEDEF throw stones at the CRS. We’restill awaiting the ground-shattering swagger of the immense Manuel Valls, kingof the braggarts! Sure, even when he’s from the right, a Breton boss is atougher customer than a Roma kid on a school bus! The anti-poor warfare isill-equipped to force those who are used to be obeyed to respect public order.

The wholeaffair was a farce through and through. All the while they’re firing workers indroves in Brittany, the bosses have found a dream opportunity to pose as defendersof employment. That might have impressed a couple answering machines inmainstream media. But over there, it’s a whole other story! Employees’ unions wereno dupes. CGT, Sud and FSU in Brittany released a joint statement to distance themselvesfrom the event. In it they denounce ‘the hijacking of the authentic discontentof a large part of the population to political ends, which questions theingenuousness and the independence of the employees who get enlisted in a fightthat isn’t theirs.’ For these unions, ‘the torturers are leading the manoeuvreand they are using their victims as shield and battering ram at once. They wouldemployees to forget that they have always supported the neoliberal politicsthat caused the current crisis, and that their ‘Breton agricultural model’today is an economic, social and environmental failure. The manipulations rundeep, as the old lords are now wearing the red cap against the people.’ It can’tbe said better.

The statementaims right. Particularly where the denunciation of productivism is concerned.It calls employees for refusing to participate in the demonstration organisedin Quimper on 2nd November around the bosses, productivist farmers and someBreton regionalists from the extreme right. The employees will demonstrate withtheir own demands!What arelief! That call to a separate protest sheds some light on a really confusesituation. The alliance of some farmers with the same large-scale foodretailing that chokes them continuously, for example, never ceases to surprise.Politically, it’s even worse. The right, which had proposed the eco-tax in thefirst place, is now demanding that it be suppressed. The PS, which also votedits implementation, now decides to suspend it… As for Le Pen, she’s calling todemonstrate with the red caps! Maybe she didn’t see the colour?

— 1st November 2013.

I don’t particularly want to be known on Tumblr as the Mélenchon defence committee but… well, he had a point. A couple, actually.

The chief particularity of the Yellow Vests movement is that even if it was started as a protest against a significant rise in gas prices and one could draw a parallel in theory between this and the anti-eco-tax movement, its basis was always popular, and focused not on production and profit, but standard living conditions for poor and impoverished people.

I don’t like the term ‘legitimate’ very much, me. Every protest is legitimate, inasmuch as demonstrating is (yet) a constitutional right. The legality of things is not what should concern us, and evidently, not what concerned Jean-Luc Mélenchon back in 2013. If there is one illegitimate element here, it would be the current government: elected with only 10% of the electorate, the most hated president in the history of the Fifth Republic is ending armed forces every week to mutilate tens of thousands who are still supported, according to the least favourable estimates, by over 60% of the population—and who still show up for the next protest, week after week.

Speaking of things I’m not too comfy with, there’s also the terms ‘jacobin’ and ‘nationalist’. I suspect you are Canadian, as you seem to conflate the two (?) and the nationalist-versus-federalist opposition is, I believe, uniquely Canadian. Over here, when talking about jacobin things, one is usually referring to a radical approach to politics, unless one would be referring to the historic opposition between the Jacobins, who ended up supporting deeper financial and political reforms, and the Girondins, mostly wealthy bourgeois, who were more moderate, and remained so throughout the revolutionary period—they won, in the end. The People didn’t—although both branches initially were a part of the Jacobin Club and in favour of constitutional monarchy.

Where nationalism goes… Well, Marine Le Pen is a nationalist. Us leftists are souverainistes, my dear. Quite frankly, I don’t get how you can support democracy without defending a nation’s right to govern itself. Only, if we can call this nationalism in the case of colonised countries aiming to free themselves from imperialism, and in the case of certain regions that promote autonomy within a given State, this is not what is at stake here. More often than not, ‘nationalism’ refers to an ideology, and it is synonymous to chauvinism, with considerably less amusing undertones. Again: it is not nationalist to favour, for instance, local employment, when displacing foreign populations leads to systematic exploitation of their work force. Environmentally, it is also much more responsible to prevent goods from being carried across great distances. And, last but not least… supranational institutions are designed to remove as much power as possible from the populations that could unite and reject locally what was decided globally. Getting democracy, literally, on a smaller scale is about gaining back control; it can’t be decided remotely. If we call this ‘nationalism’, not only do we lose our way to denounce actual xenophobia, but we lose sight of other types of opposition as well. Europe is not a country, and the way the European Union is designed, it is essentially a bank, and it aims to make entire countries its debtors… So, yes, yay for souverainism!

#pavé césar ! #answers #nonnies #jean-luc mélenchon #bonnets rouges #gilets jaunes #france #french politics

[storydays]

"Gods have mercy!" Scholar Vash cried. "Angus...Grenn..." Ezra placed his head in his hand. "Oh no.." Nia covered her mouth with her hands, before kneeling down next to Agnus' body, brown eyes glistening with tears. Her lips moved in a silent prayer. A faint golden glow surrounds her, and a warm breeze rustles the overgrown grass..but then faded away. 

"I can't help them, they're gone. Beyond the Light's reach." she said sadly. "I can't believe this. We saw them alive just last night." Ezra muttered. "With the adventurer, Mal! Y-You don't think..." Kade looked at his brother nervously. "Mal didn't do this. I can't know for certain but..I don't think this was his doing. There's nothing in it for him; neither Angus nor Grenn had anything worth stealing." Ezra said, firmly. 

"Yeah, I agree. I don't think this was him." agreed the younger. "But then...where is he? And who did this?" looking around as if the brunette was hanging around. Scholar Vash paced around, shaking his head.  "This is an affront to the Light! A blasphemy! Whoever is responsible has desecrated a place of worship. A holy place!" He ranted. 

"Ezra, what should we do?" asked Kade, looking at his brother hopefully. "I'm going to examine the area. There are bound to be clues around here." The thick, unkempt grass is difficult to see through, but after a moment, Ezra's sharp eyes could see a pattern emerging. His hand hovered over the faint trail of trampled grass, until he saw multiple pairs of footprints. 

"Looks like the victims were ambushed here. Probably by a group lurking behind this column, there's at least six sets of  ambushers' footprints. " He mumbled out loud, forgetting about his audience. "Six?" Nia squeaked. "And one of them is massive." The elf concluded. 

"Six enemies, one of them massive...not a fan of those odds. Do you think this has something to do with the relic?" Kade asked, running a hand through his hair. "Speak clearly now, boy. What relic?" Vash turned towards the teen, who shrugged. "I don't know! It's just something Mal said back in town! That he had a tip there was a powerful relic, and he was going to find it."

"Then it's true; I had to hope it was a myth, but by the Gods above and below, it must be true. I believe there is an ancient artifact hidden deep within this temple. Forgotten to time, relegated to legend. An Onyx Shard." The old man said mysteriously. "Seriously? The Onyx Shards are real?" Kade gaped. "You've heard of them? Kade, what's he talking about?" 

"They're the last relics that the Shadow Court left behind after the Great War. Cursed artifacts of terrible power. Very very very bad stuff." Kade explained. "I came upon the locations of the Shards in an ancient text last year. Seeing these bodies here, I may not be the only one who knows their location. Please! If whoever did this is after the Shard, we need to protect it. We can't let it fall into the wrong hands!" 

Ezra shared a look with Kade, noting his reluctance before clapping his brother's shoulder, then looking at Vash. "We'll accompany you inside to get this Shard. But if we bump into whoever did this, we're all running like hell. Understood?" "Let's just hope we find it before they do."Vash said gravely. Ezra drew his sword, and led the way to the main archway into the temple grounds. 

"This place isn't the best shape, is it?" Kade coughed. "Once it was majestic, regal. Packed day and night. Have we truly fallen so far from the Light?" Vash lectured. Ezra sighed at the sad vines; seeing nature so sad hurt his heart. The group stopped in front of the tunnels, one going left and one going right. "Stop...something feels off. Be careful where you step." Ezra warned. "Ezra? What should we do now?" Nia asked. 

"We should look for traps." He crouched to examine the floor tiles on the left side, noting one was raised an inch above the others and gave in slightly when he touched it. "That's a pressure plate if I ever saw one. I think this way's booby trapped." He glanced to the right looking at groove in the floor tile like centuries of feet have worn out the stone. 

"The right path looks well-traveled. Let's see where it leads." He decided. The group followed the path which began to slope down, spiraling in on itself. "Gods, how deep does this thing go?" Kade asked aloud. "Only the top level of the temple was open to the public. The lower levels, the catacombs, were for the priests and priestess." Vash explained. "To study and pray?" Nia wondered. "And to hide away from the dark." said the old scholar. 

Finally they reached the path deep below the complex. A stone door stands before them, but it was clearly forced open.  Ezra held the door open and gaped at the treasure piled up in the grand chamber. "I can't believe this has been here all along! If we explored this place ourselves, we could've become ri--" Kade cleared his throat, catching Scholar Vash glaring at him. "Ri....diculously pious adherents of the Light." Ezra snickered at his brother's misfortune. 

Vash approached a pedestal with scattered with golden chains and goblets. He gently picked up a large green crystal the size of a watermelon from the pile. "That is definitely not onyx." whistled Ezra. "No, it's not the Shard," chuckled Vash, "but it's still quite fascinating. I must bring it back to Whitetower with me for further study." Everyone was distracted looking at the treasure. Even Nia was admiring  a jewel encrusted old tome. 

"I can't believe it...how was here, all this time? And no one ever robbed it?" Kade furrowed his brow. "Maybe, no one knew it was here. Kade, we live a day away and we  had no idea." Ezra mumbled. "Yeah, well, it's pretty, but I don't like it one bit. If the people who murdered Angus and Grenn weren't after this treasure...Then what are they after?" "The Onyx Shard." Nia said solomonly. 

"We'd better keep moving." Ezra said, standing up. At the end of the room sits a heavy wooden fortified by twisting metal runes. Scholar Vash examines it closely before brightening. "Ah, yes! The ancient elves often used elaborate mechanisms to lock their secrets away. I've always wanted to solve one. They test your deep knowledge of elven linguistics!" He continued on to himself. 

Ezra rolled his eyes, Nia and Kade giggling at his dry remark. "That sounds....delightful." Scholar Vash ignored him and focused on the puzzle in front of him. "Seems quite simple...If I just press this...and turn this." 

Nothing happened. 

"Ah, well. I may need a moment." He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. Kade cleared his throat quietly. "Psst, Ezra. While he's busy with that, what do you say we keep scoping out  this treasure room? I think there's some hidden rooms down the back! We could go check them out...see what else this place has to offer." "Oooh! I would be interested in that! I recall seeing some fascinating statues.." Nia and Kade looked at Ezra expectantly. 

"Let's do it. That sounds way better than just sitting around here. Let's take a quick look around and see what we can find." While Vash continues tinkering with the door, the three younger ones headed deeper into the vault.  "So Nia, any idea why this treasure is all here?" asked Ezra. "These are offerings. Believers used to bring them as tribute to their Gods." Nia explained. "So like..bribes? People paying off the Gods to grant them fortune and favor?"

"No, not like that. The offerings are given voluntarily, with no expectations of reward. They're a reflection of gratitude, of thankfulness." Nia smiled. "Huh, that seems wasteful." Ezra mused. "Wasteful?" Nia asked, eyes wide. "I'm just saying...think of how many people this gold could feed. Think of how many sick, and wounded, and vulnerable, it could provide. " Ezra bit his lip in irritation. Nia paused, deep in thought. 

"I do see your point. There is much practical good that could come from this wealth, but there are other concerns here other than the materials. Faith and devotion, for example. It's not enough to live; It's a question of what you live for." Her smile fell when Ezra scoffed slightly. "Tell that to everyone who's starving." Kade looked around, curiously. "Rationally, I know I should be way more scared given we're in an ancient temple and we just found two people brutally murdered..." he broke into a giant grin. "But I still can't really believe this is happening! We're on an adventure! A real adventure! Imagine what an amazing story this'll make!" He danced excitedly. 

"You really love telling stories, don't you Kade?" giggled Nia. Kade's smile dropped slightly, and Ezra's gaze soften. "Well, yeah. Stories are really important to me. They're how I see the world." He hesitated, a somewhat sentimental expression on his face. "I-I was a really sick kid. Bedridden until I was 6, on the brink of death. Stories were all I had, I read every book in town, and when I ran out of books to read, I started to write them." 

"Kade was a precocious kid." Ezra spoke softly. "I always thought that was how I'd  live life. Ezra was the adventurer, the dreamer. I was content to just read about things like that. But maybe I misjudged myself. Maybe I can be someone who goes out there, who has wild adventures, who sees the world." He peeked through his lashes shyly at Ezra who smiled with joy at his brother. "Maybe I be a hero." Ezra's grin grew wider. "Damn right, brother."

"Look! Over there! A passage!" Nia led the way into a vast hall with mostly crumbled ancient statues. "This is a Hall of Gods! It must be hundreds of years old." The group spread out, gazing at the statues. Ezra walked towards the statue of a winged monstrous warrior clutching a spiked club. Nia followed the elf warily. "I don't know this one...It isn't one of the Gods I recognize." Ezra blinked. "You don't know all of the Gods?" "If you go back far enough you'll find different pantheons and interpretations....But I've never heard of one like this." 

Ezra studied the statue's brooding expression, its marble eyes simmering with hate. "I don't like it. It's too realistic." mumbled the elf. "Me neither." Nia shuddered. "Hey!" The two turned towards Kade's shout. "Wanna see something hilarious?" The teen held up an old ceramic vase with a creepy face painted on, and tries to copy its expression, but drops it and winces as it shatters. "Oops." He chuckled nervously. The shards shake and rattle and a spectral shape bursts out, lashing through the air with tendrils of smoking flame. 

Ezra quickly ran over to his brother's side, hand on his sword hilt. The spirit hissed, clearly pissed. "What in the hell is that?" Ezra cried. The creature's body pulsed and swelled, hungry eyes boring into the white haired elf, before hissing angrily. "Wait! I know what this is!" Kade called from behind Ezra. "It's a vorglin! I read about that in the Tome of Beasts that traveling merchant had! It's a spectre that feeds off psychic energy, specifically fear! " he explained. 

"So," Ezra hummed, "What if we feel other strong emotions? Could that drive it away?" "Actually....yes! That just might work! Think about something other than fear! Think of a time when you felt something really intense!" Kade stated. The vorglin hissed, clearly annoyed. Ezra turned his gaze back onto the red spirit, one of his saddest, painful memories coming to mind. The day he and Kade had laid their mother to rest; their father passed a few months earlier and it seemed their mother couldn't bear to be without her love. 

'It was raining, cold and wet. Kade and I were standing side by side, in the field as they buried her, right next to her  love. She and Father were the town's best seamstress and farmer, and they would sorely be missed. I was so heartbroken that day, I shut everyone out, Grenn, Annika and I even shut Kade out for a few weeks. I remember saying goodbye.' Ezra blinked when the vorglin pulses, gorging on your emotions. It lets out a satisfied wheeze, before disappearing into a puff of smoke, dropping something on the floor with a heavy thud. 

Ezra cautiously approached what was on the floor and nudged it with the tip of his boot. "T-This is solid gold!" He exclaimed in surprise. "Then we're lucky! When a vorglin is fed emotions it doesn't enjoy, it transforms them into an elemental discharge! It's usually iron or brass...but gold? Jackpot!" Kade cheered. "Are you saying that orb is the creature's waste?" Nia exclaimed, disgust clear in her face. 

"Heh, it literally craps gold." Ezra snickered, before breaking out into a loud laugh, Kade and Nia laughing along with him. Kade picked up the orb and tucked it into his bag. "Are you all right with is keeping this, Priestess? It's not an offering, and it might be worth quiet a bit." Kade's green eyes shine with glee, and hope. Nia bit her lip before replying hesitantly. "I...suppose." She said finally. 

"Now then, let's head back before Scholar Vash realizes we're gone." Ezra said, leading the younger two to Vash, just as he traced a final rune, and the door swung open with a whoosh! The scholar laughed in triumph. "There you go! A piece of cake, as they say! Nothing to it!" He looked back at Ezra who was hiding a grin. "Thank you for waiting patiently, I do hope it wasn't a bother."  Gold eyes look over at Kade and Nia before looking back at Vash. "Not. At. All." He chuckled. 

Vash gestured ahead, and with a firm grip on his sword, Ezra led the way. "Wait." He murmured lowly. "Does anyone else hear voices?" Knowing his brother's hearing was sensitive, Kade quieted down, and gestured for Nia and Vash to do the same. Ezra motioned for the others to be quite, until Nia spoke up. 

"What is that?" she asked in a harsh whisper.

@imturaxamara @tyrils-star @choicescommunity @bladesappreciationweek #bladesAW

https://bladesappreciationweek.tumblr.com/

[shamelessllamapeanutthing]

My MatchaBlossom playlist

Here's the link to the playlist on Spotify-

Song meanings and POVs elaborated on down under.

Call it what you want- Taylor Swift

(Let's start with a TS song cause why tf not. I am and always will be a total slut for her 💜)

Okay, just the general vibe of this song is that of a person who's been through a bit and has now found a love so beautiful it's helping them heal and I feel like that ties in so well with Cherry and Joe's entire arc. I hear this song in Cherry's POV when Joe's affection is starting to restore his faith in love and life after Adam's done fucked it all up. Or even when his anxiety gets really fucking bad or whatever. It's just got big comfort vibes and I am a total whore for Cherry acknowledging and appreciating everything that Joe does for him.

All my flowers grew back as thorns,

Windows boarded up after the storm,

He built a fire just to keep me warm.

Explosion- Zolita

PINING JOE PINING JOE PINING JOE

*ahem* let me be more articulate.

TEENAGED PINING JOE

Don't call me about him I don't wanna hear

Put him out of your mind just make him disappear

Stop pretending you got nothing left to hide

My memory is slipping and it's killing me alive

Reached the bitter end

Can't pretend I'm not in love with my best friend, my best friend

Hate that you know me- BLEACHERS

Okay I think this song fits Cherry very well, especially when he is still trying to understand his dynamic with Joe. My personal headcanon is that Cherry is prone to bouts of self-hatred because of his anxiety and consequently, doesn't always consider himself deserving of Joe's love, and so, he tends to dislike it at times when Joe seems to understand him better than others and anticipate his needs so well, and I feel like this song depicts that beautifully.

Sometimes I hate that you know me so well (so well)

Sometimes I, I hate that you know me so well (and I hate ya)

Some days I, I wish that I wasn't myself (No)

No luck! (No)

And I hate that you know me so well

Heart attack- Demi Lovato

Okay, I can not be the only person who thinks of teenaged Cherry every time this song comes on. Imagine a Cherry who's flabbergasted by the strength of his feelings for Joe, and can never figure out what to do with himself.

Never break a sweat for the other guys

When you come around, I get paralyzed

And every time I try to be myself

It comes out wrong like a cry for help

It's just not fair; pain's more trouble than love is worth

I gasp for air; it feels so good, but you know it hurts

Lover- Taylor Swift

I have a very specific scene in mind when it comes to this song and that is MatchaBlossom slow-dancing in the first house they get together.

We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

Make you mine- PUBLIC

You knew this song was going to end up on here lol.

Strangely enough, aware as I am of the fact that most of the fandom believes Joe was the one chasing Cherry (and I agree) this song just hits me as all Cherry's. It has all of his characteristic dogged determination and refusal to admit defeat lol

Well, I have called you darlin' and I'll say it again, again

So kiss me 'til I'm sorry, babe, that you are gone and I'm a mess

And I'll hurt you and you'll hurt me and we'll say things we can't repeat

Mess is Mine- Vance Joy

Slightly older, mellowed out MatchaBlossom, starting to realise they're in this together for the long run, that they always have been.

Further I feel like verse 1 and 2 respectively follow Joe and Cherry's POVs

First we have Joe, who is just brimming with the realisation that Cherry is his for good.

Talking like we used to do

It was always me and you

Shaken up and shipping out

Check me in and check me out

...

Hold on my darling

This mess was yours, now your mess is mine

Secondly, we have Cherry, who considers himself unbelievably lucky to have been considered worthy of Joe's love and keeps wondering if he is half as good a partner to the other man as he is to him.

See you in the market place

Walking around at 8 AM

Got two hours before my flight

Luck be on my side tonight

You're the reason that I feel so strong

The reason that I'm hanging on

You know you gave me all that time

Did I give enough of mine

More than Friends- BEKA HONNE

Baby MatchaBlossom pining. Really sweet, soft vibes. I keep thinking of shy, unsure junior high school Kaoru and Kojiro suddenly becoming blushing, stuttering messes around each other for a period of time as they both hit the realisation that they'd very much like to be kissing each other and it's very much not a Friend™ thing.

It happens after Joe has freshly realised that he is bi after all and Kaoru is exactly what he needs. Again, verse one reminds me of Joe, verse two of Cherry. They are down under respectively.

Driving home and those cats eyes got me seeing you

I'm always seeing you

I don't know how to tell you that I was wrong before

I thought I needed more

I was wondering if we could talk

I think about you every day

And the mixtape you made

Is all I ever to play

And every song reminds me that

You and I

Should be more than friends

...

I never thought I would see your face at my door again

Not at 3 AM

And I don't know just why I wasn't enough before

I thought you needed more

I know you came here to talk

Can't listen to the tape I made

It brings me too much pain

Cause every song reminds me that

You and I

Should be more than friends

This song can also work if you reverse the POV orders and then see it post Adam, but the vibe is a lil too soft for that.

Night go slow- Catey Shaw

MatchaBlossom but in a chill, lo-fi aesthetic.

The cars all stop where they are

When you take my hand, there is no time

Every moment that passes by with you

I wish I could rewind

Let go of your ways

And forget today

Just follow me tonight

Do you understand why I put all my plans on hold?

Not Afraid Anymore- Halsey

Okay, this one goes a lil heavy but imagine a traumatised Cherry, ya know after Ad*m, finally learning to let himself go and feel things again, emotionally and sexually, with Kojiro.

I also feel like they are two kinky bastards so really if you only wanna interpret it like that be my guest.

I am not ashamed anymore

I want something so impure

You better impress now, watching my dress now fall to the floor

Crawling underneath my skin, sweet talk with a hint of sin

Begging you to take me

Devil underneath your grin, sweet thing

But she play to win, heaven gonna hate me

People Crying Every Night- A R I Z O N A

I hear this song as Joe trying to get through to a hesitant Cherry, trying to make him see that while they don't get a say in so many other things, things that have happened and things that will happen, they get to choose the life they have together. They get to pick out their happy ending, build one out of scratch with each other and even if they have nothing else, at least they have this.

Oh and as the day

Turns into night

The things that we can't say

The things we try to hide

Like everyone else

We can't choose the way we die

Oh but we can choose

The way we live tonight

Oh I wish I had the answers

I wish I had the time

To give you all the reasons

Why it's worth it down the line

Ready to go- NEFFEX

This song is an ✨ aesthetic ✨

Okay but imagine, young, punk! MatchaBlossom, maybe around the time when they're travelling the world together?

It's all hot and heady, and Joe is thrilled by the wild, wild force of nature Kaoru is. He can't do anything but give in.

She said stay for a minute

Play with my limits

Drink till we're sinnin'

Baby I'm ready to go

...

She said she's finally alive

When she starts losing control

I said I know what to do

Just let our bodies go

Shine a Light- BANNERS

Another Kojiro song. This one reflects his inner struggle as he feels torn between wanting to comfort and protect Cherry after Adam, and the fact that he is hopelessly in love with Cherry who inadvertently keeps hurting him with how he is lost in the huge web of feelings he can't parse through, not completely blind to how much Kojiro loves him but not fully realising it either. This song reminds me of a confused and helpless Kojiro. Loving Kaoru is such an integral part of him that it makes him, him and it is his constant in the rapidly changing world around him as he stands on the brink of adulthood. He is very nearly ready to beg for mercy and yet knows he, himself is saved by the love he has for Kaoru.

And when the night falls, oh, call on me

Just don't forget to show me some mercy

Ooh, say you're mine

Ooh, take me higher

Sleepover- Hayley Kiyoko

JOE PINING @ HOMOEROTIC SLEEPOVERS WITH YOUR B(est)F

You wanna be friends forever?

I can think of something better

I'm just feeling low, feeling low

Sleeping here right next to me

But will you ever mess with me?

No

Thank you, my twilight- the pillows

Listen, this has been my fav classic Japanese love anthem for so long and to think it is PERFECT for Matchablossom just makes my heart go 💞

The lyrics are heart-wrenchingly raw and real, which is great reflection of Joe and Cherry's relationship. I include a translation of a few verses below, the first one seems something snatched straight out of Joe's internal monologues and the second one depicts the breathless intensity and loyalty so typical of Kaoru:

If you think it looks like I'm waiting for someone

Then you're right

I've been waiting for you

...

Sometimes people will ask me

"How far will you go for her?"

BABY as far as it takes

Wings- HAERTS

Another song depicting Cherry healing from Adam and learning to accept Joe's love, but a fluffier and sweeter way to go about it.

In which, Cherry decides to separate all of the sweeter moments of his and Joe's days with Adam from all of the bitterness, and carry that in his heart after they part ways and he finally moves on.

I will never let you go

I know you want it, know you want it

Learning love means not to know

I'll learn to take it,

Would you mind- PRETTYMUCH

Ending this post with a fluffy, flirty rec that could be Joe's anthem. See for yourselves.

Say you don't catch feelings, you say you ain't the love type

I'ma have to work, then, uh the whole night

Nothing like your ex, no, this ain't what you used to

Just give me that chance, girl, uh, won't lose you

See it? ;) Also, I feel like Joe had typical frat boy taste in music at some point so

#Spotify #sk8 the infinity #matchablossom #matchablossom playlist #past loveblossom #kaoru sakurayashiki #kaoru x kojiro #nanjo kojiro #sk8 cherry blossom #sk8 infinity