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#i'm so scared of the autumn coming and her moving away
little-escapist · 2 years
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I need to vent
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lovingmattysposts · 4 months
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Dreamin' About It 2
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P1
summary: Matt and you never got along. He always teased you about everything you did, so much so you decide to you wanted to lose your virginity just so he would shut about it. The only issues was you didn't know who to lose it to and that you were scared out of your mind to do it
warning: smutttt, cursing
hehe heres part 2
merry christmas eve i love all of you
xoxo autumn
That's when the door ripped open. Evan stopped kissing me and we both turned our heads and he was ripped off of me.
"Okay get off her"
I sat up pulled down my skirt seeing Matt gripping Evan's shirt. "Matt" I said with wide eyes. Matt let him go roughly. "Dude what the fuck?" Evan yelled at him. Matt glared at him.
"She's drunk" He said motioning to me. I just watched them. Evan walked up to him. "Stop making it into something it's not. We were just fine" Evan glared at him. Matt looked over at me, while looked at him with a nervous expression.
Matt looked back at him, pushing his chest. "Get out" He said walking up to him. Evan glared over at him. "Should have known you wouldn't do anything" he shook his head at me. I felt his words in my chest as he turned and left slamming the door, his words ringing through my head.
I swallowed looking up at Matt. I glared standing up off the bed. "Matt what the fuck?" I yelled at him. He shook his head. "You knew it was a bad idea. You should be thanking me" He said stepping up to me.
"Thanking you? Matt you just embarrassed this shit out of me!" I said shaking my head at him. He clenched his jaw staring down at me. "You're drunk and we're leaving let's go" He mumbled walking past me. I grabbed his arm.
"No!" I yelled. "Why are you such a dick to me? Do you just want to hang the virgin card over my head for the rest of my life?" I asked shaking my head. He let out a breath.
"I wasn't letting you sleep with him of all people, if you want to talk about bodies--" He said shaking his head. I pushed him. "You're not my boyfriend Matt. I can sleep with whoever I want to and you don't get a say" I shook my head. He nodded.
"Sorry, You wanted to sleep with him? He made you feel comfortable? Upstairs at a fucking party is where you wanted to lose your v-card?" He asked shaking his head motioning towards the door.
I clenched my jaw. "It wasn't your decison to make" I said with a clench jaw. He scoffed. "The guy's ego's so big he probably doesn't even know how to use his dick" He spat. I shook my head.
"And you know how to use yours?" I spat. "Yeah. I do" He said towering over me. I just blinked at him as he looked down at me. He let out a breath looking away.
I grabbed his arm pulling him towards me before pressing my lips to his. He kissed me back instantly. I let out a breath almost of built up frustration as we kissed. Not roughly, just kissing. Slowly.
He pressed his hand against my face leaning down as our lips moved together. He pulled back looking at me.
"I'm not having sex with you, not while you're drunk" He said shaking his head, making me sigh closing my eyes. "Okay" I nodded. He sighed wrapping his arms around my back before pressing his lips to mine again briefly.
"If you want it to be me. I wanna be. But not like this" He stated an inch from my face. I nodded looking at him. He stepped back removing his arms.
"I'll take you home, come on" He said grabbing my hand and walking me out of the room.
-
The next few days I avoided him. I was terryfied. I knew he wasn't drunk, so I knew he meant it. But being in the same friend group, I knew I couldn't avoid him forever.
"Soda for the virgin" Chris said handing me a Pepsi. I sighed and saw Matt hit his chest shaking his head. "What?" Chris mumbled looking at Matt. Matt glanced down at me and i caught his eye for a moment and then looked down at the drink in my hand.
"So maybe Evan wasn't the right guy, who cares" Madi said pushing my shoulder. I shook my head. "There are other guys" Madi said looking at me. I shook my head.
"No, I'm done. Forget I ever said anything I don't wanna talk about it anymore" I said looking at her. She nodded and looked away. "At least the party was good for someone" Madi said motioning to Nick.
Nick rolled his eyes glaring at Chris. "For about five minutes until Chris came in all 'why are you with your ex?'" Nick glared at Chris. Making us all start to laugh.
"I think your exact words were 'If i start talking to my ex please pull me away'" Chris said tilting his head at Nick, who just shook his head. I let out a breath and leaned against the couch. I couldn't help but look over at Matt, who turned to look at me the same time.
We just looked at each other for a second.
"So birthday on Saturday" I felt Chris push my leg making me break my gaze and look up at him. I nodded looking down. "Do you know what you're doing yet?" He asked raisng his eyebrows. I shook my head.
"I don't know I think birthday's are kind of stupid, i was just born nothing crazy happened" I smiled up at him, making him rolling his eyes. "Come on" He shook his head. I shrugged.
"I'll just hang out with you guys that all I really want" I smiled at them. They nodded. "I think we can make that happen" Madi said nodding.
-
"Happy birthday"
I looked up and hugged Nick, who handed me a gift. "It's from all of us" He said talking about the triplets. I smiled taking the gift out of his hand. "Thank you guys" I said looking between the three of them. They all smiled and Matt looked away from me.
A part of me wishes I never kissed him. It's been weird ever since. We barely look at each other and if we do I feel like i'm doing something wrong. There's no more rude or snarky remarks from him, which I weridly miss. And worse of all I can't help but think of him when I'm alone trying to go to sleep. His words ringing in my head.
"If you want it to be me. I wanna be. But not like this"
"Everyone's outside" I said looking up at them and motioning towards the backdoor. They nodded and Nick and Chris walked toward the backdoor as I walked over to the table placing their gift with the rest of them.
I glanced up after hearing the door slide closed but saw Matt still standing there with his hands in his pockets as he looked at me. I looked down at the table.
"Hey what's up?" I mumbled feeling my face go red as I examined the box. He let out a breath and walked up to me. He cleared his throat as he peered down at me.
"I just wanted to talk to you for a second" He stated softly. My heart started to beat. We've avoided this conversation for almost two weeks, I knew it was bound to happen, but I still didn't want to have it.
I swallowed looking up at him. He just stared at me. "Yeah" I sighed looking at him. He looked down before reaching into his pocket before pulling out a small box with a bow. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked down at the box.
"That one is from all three of us, but I got you this" He said motioning to the box already on the table. I glanced to the box already placed and the one in his hands. "Matt you didn't have to-" I started to say.
"I know I haven't been the best friend to you" He sighed looking at me. "And I'm sorry" He said softly. I bit my lip as I took the box out of his hand and pulled the bow untied.
I opened the small box and saw a small gold bracelet, making my face soften. I looked up at him. "Matt" I breathed taking it out of the box. It was a dantey small bracelet with a music note on it.
"I know how much you love music and stuff and I was shopping and I saw it and thought of you. It's nothing big" He shook his head. I shook my head smiling. "It's perfect" I breathed, making him smile.
"Matt, why did you get this for me?" I whispered looking up at him. He just looked down at me, letting out a breath. "I guess as an apology" He said looking at me.
"For giving you such a hard time all the time" He explained making me look down. I shook my head. "It's okay Matt" I said. He let out a breath.
"I guess I just haven't stopped thinking about how you were willing to sleep with Evan Reel, just so that I would stop messing with you" He said making my eyes go wide.
"It wasn't just you" I said. He nodded. "Yes it was. I feel like shit thinking about it" He sighed. I pursed my lips as I looked at him.
"I guess I'm sorry too" I sighed looking at him. He furrowed his eyebrows. "For what?" He whispered. "For kissing you, I probably shouldn't have done that" I said shaking my head. He just looked at me.
"I didn't mind" He said smiling slightly. I smiled and shook my head. "It was--" He said looking at the backdoor. "A good kiss" He said glancing back over at me. I nodded.
"I won't mention the whole virginty thing again, and I'll make sure no one else does either. I'm sorry that you felt pressured, that's not how it's suppose to be. It's suppose to be with someone you actually like and trust" He said shaking his head. I nodded slowly.
"Yeah, thanks" I breathed. He nodded.
"If you want it to be me. I wanna be. But not like this"
"Thanks for the bracelet" I said holding it up. He nodded. "Happy birthday" He nodded. I set it down before picking up the bracelet and attempting to put it on.
"Here let me help you" He said stepping towards me and holding my wrist as he snapped it into place. I looked up at him and he looked down at me, his hand still on mine.
"Did you mean what you said?" I whispered quietly. He just stared down at me. I licked my lips as he scanned my face. He nodded slowly. I opened my mouth to speak, but the backdoor opened.
"Y/n! Where are you? We are waiting" I heard Madi's voice. Matt dropped my wrist and we both looked over at her. I let out a breath nodding.
-
The rest of the night I couldn't stop thinking about what Matt said. He did mean it. It was all I could think about, all that was running through my mind.
"Are you not drinking?" Madi asked looking at the soda in my hand. I looked up at her and my eyes went wide. "No, I feel sick" I stated shaking my head. I glanced over to Matt who looked at me and bit back a smile. Fuck, could I make it more obvious?
I felt my face go red and hope to god I didn't make myself too obvious of what I wanted but by the look on Matt's face, he already knew.
Everyone seemed to be having a good time and by the time the sun went down, everyone was already drunk. Except for me and Matt. If everyone was sober, they would notice that we couldn't keep our eyes off of each other, but they were too wasted to tell.
I however was painfully aware of how he was looking at me.
Everyone was lost in their own conversation when we moved into the house because the Boston cold is not for the faint of heart. I moved over sitting on the couch as Chris chugged a beer in the kitchen and Madi and Nick laughed at him.
Matt walked in sliding the door closed before looking over at me by myself on the couch. He glanced over them before shaking his head and walking over to me. I took in a breath as he sat next to me.
"So you're not drinking" He stated glancing at me. I sighed and shook my head. "I'm not" I said looking at him. He licked his lips and looked at me. "Can I admit something to you?" He asked softly. I nodded as I looked at him.
"I hated the way it felt when I saw someone else on top of you" He said looking at me. I didn't say anything I just looked at him. "I don't know. I guess it was selfish for me to barge in, but--" He shook his head.
"I don't know I guess I don't understand how I feel about you, I just know I don't want to see you with another guy" He admitted looking at me. I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Can I admit something to you?" I whispered, he looked back at me waiting for me to speak. I felt my face turn red. Was I really about to say this?
"I had a dream about you" I said glancing over at him. He furrowed his eyebrows and smiled. "Yeah?" He whispered. I nodded. "What was it about?" He asked as he looked at me. I just stared at him, unable to speak.
He licked his lips and turned away, smirking slightly.
"Are you tired?" He asked suddenly looking over at me. I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head. He stood up from the couch. I just watched him. "Y/n's tired. I'm gonna walk her up to her bed" He announced to the room. My eyes went wide as I looked at him.
Their attention turned to Matt. Madi's eyes glanced over to me and I just looked at her. "Okay, we will be outside" Madi said back grabbing Chris and Nick's arm and dragging them back towards the door. "Ow, It's cold out there" Chris whined as she pushed them out the door.
Matt looked back at me and I stood up.
"Are we gonna talk about this?" He asked looking at me. I shrugged. "I don't know" I admitted. He swallowed. "I want it to be you" I whispered. He stepped towards me. "Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded.
"Are you still with Jessica?" I asked. He let out a breath. "I told her it was over after I kissed you" He admitted, making me smile. "If you don't want to make this into anything more than it is that's fine" He shook his head.
"It can be purely transactional" He said stepping towards me. "Okay" I breathed. "Okay?" He asked. I nodded. "I trust you" I said. He smiled and nodded. He glanced towards the stairs then back to me.
Within three minutes we were up in my room, his lips pressed to mine. If you would have told me this would be happening a week ago, I would have never believed you.
I pulled back. "Have you ever been with a virgin before?" I asked looking at him. He shook his head. "Okay" I breathed out, anxiety filling my chest worried I was going to disappoint him with my lack of experience.
"If you want to stop at any point, I'll stop and I won't mention it and we don't have to talk about it. I don't want you to feel like you can't change your mind, no matter how far we are okay?" He said looking down at me. I let out a breath nodding.
I already felt way more comforable than when whatever was happening when I was with Evan. I swallowed.
"I-I'm not like other girls that you've been with so if i do anything wrong, I want you to tell me because I have no idea what i'm doing" I whispered back. He smiled and looked down at me.
"That's a good thing y/n" He said looking down at me. "I wanna make you feel good too, I just--" I started to say. "You'll do fine. Just trust your instincts" He said shaking his head smiling.
"I don't have instincts" I said making him chuckle. He nodded. "Just follow my lead okay?" he said as he pressed his lips against mine. I melted into the kiss as he wrapped his hands around me, pulling our bodies together before pushing me back against the bed.
He stood in front of me and ripped his shirt off throwing in on the floor. I smiled up at him as he crawled over me grippng my chin in his hand as he kissed me, slipping his tonuge into my mouth.
I trailed my hands down his back, slightly scratching my nails against his back. He whined against my lips, surpising me making me smile. His hands stayed by my head while one slightly grazed my side.
"Matt you're not gonna break me, touch me like you mean it" I said pulling apart and looking at him breathing heavy. "Are you sure?" He breathed looking at me. "Show me what the hype’s about" I smiled up at him. He licked his lips smiling.
"I'll tell you if it makes me uncomforable, just do whatever you want" I spoke. His eyes glistened. "Don't tell me that" He shook his head. I smiled and moved my hands in his hair.
"Do whatever you want to me Matt" I whispered again looking at me. He smiled before pushing my shirt completely up exposing my bra in front of him. He attached his lips to my neck and pushed his hands over my chest squeezing my breasts. I breathed in from the unfamiliar touch.
I arched against his touch. "Sit up" he said against my neck. I sat up and in one swift motion he pulled my shirt over my head and unhooked my bra with one hand, ripping it off of me. I breathed in from the coldness of the air hitting my bare chest.
He sat up looking down at me. I just looked at him as his eyes scanned my body. Oh god. Oh god. A boy is staring at me and I am naked. No one has ever seen me naked in a sexual way before. I didn't know if i had good boobs. I didn't know if I looked hot. I had no idea what I looked like compared to every other girl he's been with.
"God, they're perfect" He whispered looking down scanning my body before kissing down my chest and pinching my nipple in between his fingers, making me moan even catching myself by surprise.
"They're okay?" I mumbled from above him. He leaned up pressing his lips against mine biting harshly on my bottom lip, slipping his tounge into my mouth, fully pressing his hands over my bare self.
"You have the prettiest tits i've ever seen" He mumbled against my lips making me smile. "Thanks I guess" I swallowed looking at him. He smiled.
"You should wear more revealing clothing. It'd drive me crazy because I know i'm the only one who knows what's underneath" He said before leaning up and unbuttoning his pants. I felt my face go red at his statement, making him smile as he pushed his pants down and kicked them off leaving him in his underwear in front of me.
"Are you doing okay?" He asked looking down at me. I nodded. "I'm okay" I breathed. He smiled leaning back down over me. "Okay" He whispered. "Don't be nervous" He shook his head.
"Yeah it's not like your dick is going inside me" I stated looking at him making him chuckle. "Is it gonna hurt?" I whispered. He let out a breath looking at me, nodding. I let out a breath leaning my head back.
"I'll talk you through it, it's okay. Do you wanna stop for a second?" He asked looking down at me. I swallowed. "Just take a few deep breaths and tell me what you're thinking" He whispered kissing the side of my face softly.
"Matt I have feelings for you"
He looked up at me. "I haven't stopped thinking about you for weeks and I-I just wanted to tell you before we did this" I swallowed looking at him. "If that makes you want to change your mind I get that--" I stuttered.
"It only makes me what to do it more" He stated cutting me off. I just blinked at him. "I like you too you idiot" He shook his head. I smiled letting go of a breath. "You do?" I asked. He rolled his eyes.
"Thought I made it obvious" He stated. I glared at him. "What? No you were such a--" I started to say but he pressed his lips to mine keeping me from speaking. I smiled against his lips as he pushed my legs apart and reached down unbuttoning my pants.
"Can I take these off?" He asked pulling apart. I nodded. He pushed them down and I kicked them off, and his hands immediatly went over my underwear.
I took a breath in and pushed my knees together. He sighed leaning his head against my shoulder. "You don't know how many times I've thought about this" He mumbled against my shoulder. I looked up at the ceiling.
"Really?" I asked as he felt me over my underwear. "Really" He stated as he pushed his fingers under my underwear and moved his fingers into me.
I grabbed his shoulder. "Matt" I breathed. He stopped. "What?" he froze. "Your fingers are cold" I breathed making him chuckle before pushing one of his fingers into me completely. I moaned from the feeling.
"God, keep doing that" He said kissing my neck. I let out unsteady breaths. I opened my mouth from the feeling of his finger inside me, slightly wincing. "You're so tight, fuck" He said lifting his head and looking at me.
He pushed in and out of me making me whine and close my eyes. "Matt fuck I-" I said pushing against his fingers. "Feels good?" He asked kissing the side of my face. I just responded with a moan and placed my hand on the back of his neck. He pulled his fingers out of me making me whine and open my eyes.
"I can keep doing that and we can be done if you don't wanna go all the way" He whispered. I shook my head. "No, please. I need all of you" I breathed looking at him, making him smile.
He leaned up pushing down my underwear making me completely bare underneath him. I just watched him as he pushed his hand over himself through his underwear letting out a hard breath.
"Tell me about your dream" He said hanging his hand as he pressed his hand against his length squeezing his eyes closed. I let out a breath as I watched him.
"Please" He whispered. I opened my mouth letting out a breath. "We were here. On my bed--" I breathed. He swallowed. "And you told me I wasn't as innocent as you thought" I explained, making him smile.
"I was begging you to fuck me and you said you wanted me to see stars" I breathed. He opened his eyes and stopped. "You wanna see stars?" He asked. I nodded. He smiled. "Then I'll make you feel like you're in the sky angel" He whispered before pulling his underwear down and climbing on top of me and pressing his lips to mine.
He spread my legs apart before lining himself up with me. "Go slow" I whispered. He nodded. "Are you okay? Are you ready?" He asked looking at me. I nodded. "I need you Matt please" I whined making him smile and take in a breath.
"I need you more trust me" He breathed before pushing inside me. I swallowed as he pushed inside of me. I whined from the inpact as he let out unsteady breaths. "Are you okay?" He asked looking up at me. Pain spiked through my body. Well, I wasn't a virgin anymore.
I looked up at the ceiling nodding. "Just keep going" I breathed out. He pushed into me more, making me wince. He let out a breath. "You don't have to take all of it" He said. I let out a breath trying to adjust to the new feeling.
"I'm taking all of it" I said back. He chuckled and shook his head before contiuning to push all the way in me. I gripped his shoulder hard. "Matt, oh my god" I cried looking up. He stared down at me. I felt him pulsing inside me.
"Tell me when you're ready" He whispered looking down at me. I took in a breath. "Okay, I'm ready" I said back before he pushed out of me almost compelely before pushing into me again. Oh my god, I was having sex.
His head fell against my shoulder. "You feel so. good." He mumbled against my skin, making me smile. He slammed into me a little harder making me moan loudly. Something I never thought I'd do in front of a boy, I always thought It ws kind of embarrassing. But I could NOT help it.
I pulled him closer to me pressing our chest together and digging my nails in his back. "Fuck" He cursed from the feeling. He kissed down my face and to my neck. He sped up slightly, making me whine beneath him.
"Are-Are you okay?" He asked quickly. I nodded profusley, thinking I would die if he stopped. The pain almost had completely subsided. He smiled at my reaction before pressing his lips to mine again.
"You're doing so good for me" He mumbled against my lips, making me clench around him as he moved against me. He bit on my lip harder. I dug my nails deeper.
"Fuck, keep doing that" He grunted against my lips. "You're so pretty, so perfect letting me do this to you" He whispered against my ear, making my eye close and whine. I don't know why but it turned me on even more when he was talking to me, especially like this.
He pushed his hand down between us moving his hand in circles against me. I jerked against him, grabbing his arm. "M-" I tried to speak but I couldn't. I felt like I couldn't keep going like my body was taking this all at once and I was going to explode.
I squirmed under him, shaking my head. He looked up at me. "You've got it. It's just an orgasm, just let go" He shook his head looking at me. "Matt I can't take-" I cried as he pushed into me.
"Yes you can, I promise. I'm close too, but i'm not finishing before you" He shook his head moving his hand faster. I arched against his touch before I screamed letting go all over him. He pulled out before finishing immediatly all over me, before he even had time to touch himself.
I sighed feeling my body go limp as he hovered over me. He froze staring down at me. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. I did not mean to-" He said looking down at me. I smiled before grabbing his arm pulling him next to me.
"Thank you" I whispered shaking my head. He smiled shaking his head. "No, thank you" He chuckled. I smiled as we stared at each other. "So you've got a praise kink" He chuckled. I furrowed my eyebrows. "What?" I breathed smiling. He licked his lips.
"A praise kink" He repeated looking at me. "Every time I said something, you clenched against me" He stated making my face go red and I turned away from him. He laughed grabbing my arm.
"No, no. I love it" He smiled at me. I shook my head looking at him. "So you've got a pain kink" I raised my eyebrows. He let out a breath before turning and sitting up.
"Okay" He chuckled, making me laugh. He stood up before standing up off my bed and pulling his boxers back on. I looked down at my stomach, just seeing him quite literally all over me. I looked over at him and he walked into my bathroom. I just looked up at the ceiling.
Uh what do I do?
I swallowed suddenly feeling very vulernable, just being left here. I looked back at the bathroom hearing the water running, not seeing him. I let out a breath sitting up on my elbows.
"Woah woah, lay back down"
I turned seeing Matt walking back from the bathroom with a towel in his hand. I stared at him. "I didn't think you were coming back" I stated honestly. His eyes went wide and he shook his head as he climbed back on the bed.
"Wow you really do think I'm an asshole" He shook his head smiling as he climbed back over me and moved the wet towel over my stomach. I just watched him as he moved the towel against me and then in between my legs.
"Guess what" I whispered. He glanced up at me. "What?" He smiled looking back down at the towel. "I'm not a virgin anymore" I smiled. He shook his head as he climbed off of me throwing the towel into the dirty clothes. He grabbed his shirt before looking at me.
"Sit up" He stated. I sat up before he pulled the shirt over my head. He crawled off my bed before walking over to my drawers and looking through them. I realized what he was doing.
"Top drawer" I stated. He looked over at me before nodding and pulling out a pair of underwear and shorts before walking back over to me. I just watched him as he moved my legs and pulled them over me.
"You didn't have to do this" I whispered as he pulled my shorts over me. He shook his head smiling. "Yes I do" He stated before setting my legs back down and crawling over me, placing a kiss on my cheek and laying against me.
I smiled as I ran my hands over his back softly, before I realized I quite literally drew blood on his back in scratches. "Fuck Matt, I'm so sorry" I gasped running my fingers over the marks. He chuckled against me.
"It's okay, I have a pain kink" He mumbled, making me laugh. He lifted his head before attaching his lips against mine. I kissed him back softly before he pulled away looking at me.
"How are we going to explain ourselves to all of them downstairs?" I whispered looking at him. He just looked at me smiling. "I don't know. Guess they’re gonna have to get used to it" He smiled. My eyebrows furrowed. "We can do that again?" I asked making him sigh smiling.
"If I'm lucky" He whispered, making me shake my head. He leaned down kissing me once more before rolling off of me and pulling me up with him. "Where are we going?" I smiled as he pulled his pants back on.
"I'm gonna go introduce my friends to my girlfriend" He smiled. I shook my head. "Were you going to let me know that I was your girlfriend?" I chuckled, biting back a smile. He shook his head walking up to me.
"The second you kissed me, you were mine" He whispered looking down at me before kissing me briefly and then grabbing my hand.
"Now come on birthday girl"
wowwwzaaaa idk how to feel ab this one but yall loved the first part so hear ya go. this was only a two parter love ya
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luveline · 7 months
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Hello lovely Jade! Can we please get something where reader is watching a horror movie with best friend!Remus (that’s she’s head over heels for) and is so scared she ends up on his lap? Love you!
love you :D♡♡ fem, modern au
"I really don't like this." 
Remus laughs under his breath. "Don't be a scaredy cat," he whispers. 
You take the pillow from his lap without asking and hold it in front of your face, peering over the top as the TV turns quiet. Quiet means suspense, and suspense leads to jumpscares. 
"I always am," you whisper back, stretching back in your seat. 
The settee is old and dipped in the centre, leaving you and Remus thigh to thigh, as close as you can be to one another without having your legs tangled. "It's not that bad," Remus says, putting an arm behind you in a show of support. "It's hiding in the kitchen cupboard, watch." 
His warning doesn't stop the flinch of the demon's appearance nor the way you jump back, almost dropping your head into him. "Sorry," you say. 
"Don't apologise," he says, but it's lost as the horror keeps on coming— the demon possesses the daughter, the daughter splits her head open on a wall. Something sharp splinters from her face and it's disgusting, it's too much, you whine something silly and push the pillow over your eyes. "Dove, don't suffocate. Look, I think it's done now," he says.
You look as he tells you to, trusting of your oldest, bestest friend, and your loyalty is rewarded with another scare that catches you off guard completely, a fleshy face of black gore so close to the camera that it feels like it's in the room. You scramble away from the screen and into Remus' arms forcefully, turning away from the screen and into his embrace. "What the fuck," you gasp. 
Difficult to explain why you're genuinely frightened but not the immediate safety of Remus' arm behind you, the tight hold of it, the ridge of a bicep pressed hard to your shoulders. "I'll turn it off," he says quickly, though his hands stay right where they are on your jumper. 
He smells like sandalwood and autumn rain, that earthy smell of rain and crushed leaves, like a walk in the woods. You start to laugh as you breathe him in, aware of the terrible fool you've made of yourself and the humour in the situation, at least. 
"I'm so sorry," you laugh, moving back, careful not to knee him somewhere delicate. 
His face comes into view, not half as annoyed as you worried it would be, brown eyes sugary sweet with soft lashes to match, his hands falling to your elbows. "Let me pause it." He keeps a hand on the middle of your back, fingers spread, encapsulating. It says I'm here without asking for anything in return. "Fucking hell, dove, I know you have bad nerves, but I've never seen one get you like that." 
You should put some amicable space between you. Remus should drop his hand. Instead, you put your hand on his collarbone and catch your breath, the excitement an instant headache waiting to bloom behind your eyes. 
"There," he says, his gaze back on you. "That'll help." 
You glance over your shoulder. Remus has changed the channel to World of Zoo, where a baby panda tries to stand while holding its own foot. "Nice," you say, smiling sheepishly to yourself. Nice. You loser. 
You turn back suddenly when his hand strokes your cheek. Two fingers, the backs of his marriage and pinky, tracing a short line down your still trembling cheek. "Seriously, dove, calm down. You think I'd let something hurt you?" he asks softly.
"No, I–" Can he stop you from swallowing your own tongue. "Of course not." 
"I can't believe it," he says, dropping his hand. "Never seen you like that, what happened?" He rubs your back roughly like he's trying to warm you up. "Let me make you a cup of tea, lovely." 
He says this, and yet he makes no move to leave your side. His behaviour is almost as odd as the way you respond, sinking into his touch. 
844 notes · View notes
matchadobo · 8 months
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KÖNIG; someone to come home to
wc: 5859 summary: könig found your cat and bridged the budding relationship between the two of you. warning/s: afab reader, nsfw 🔞 (please read at your own discretion, scars, könig is very shy and has social anxiety, alcohol/liquor
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"oh for the love of god why do you keep running away..!" you jogged around your neighborhood, eyes frantically scanning each bush and corner of the street just to find that spotted motherfucker with doe eyes and tiny paws that'd immediately make you forget all the rage you went through while finding her.
you love your cat, she's the light of your life, much more your child. but she has this habit of wandering off during autumn, playing with the fallen leaves in places that were surrounded by many trees. you've traversed the entire neighborhood and you were starting to panic when you couldn't find her. she usually comes back when the sun sets but it's almost past six and she's nowhere in sight.
until you heard a distant purr from that one park you haven't checked since it's mostly occupied by kids so it's unlikely. but you swiftly ran to the park, only to find your cat nestled in someone else's lap. a burly, towering man who cradled her very delicately. he brushed his scarred hands by the head and ears of your cat as she leaned further by his dainty pats.
he then noticed you right away, shot up from his seat like you scared him. you broke into a smile to ease the atmosphere, it kind of freaked you out that he noticed you even though you didn’t so much as make a movement or noise. the man had his face covered with a black cloth of some sort, the only visible features of his face were his vibrant, green eyes. he wore a black shirt that looked way too tight for a man his size, brown denim pants paired with black boots. he backed away slightly when you got closer.
"hey, uh, seems you caught her." your cat jumped off of the man's arms and ran to you, you bent down to catch her. "she's my cat."
the look of clarity was evident in him when he relaxed at your words. "thank god you caught her though, i thought i lost her for a moment." you laughed nervously, hugging your oblivious cat. "i'm name." you started, walking a little closer to him to reduce the tension.
you noticed how he kind of stiffened up but managed to return back your gesture. "k-könig." he responded, thick german accent coating his speech. "sorry for kinda taking your cat." he joked a little.
"oh, don't worry about it!" you laughed, "i think she felt safe with you. cats latch onto people that make them feel comfortable."
you heard a low laugh from beneath his mask, you gave him a look at his green eyes to try and recognize him. "are you...did you just move here?"
"not really, but i'm staying for a bit here. my house is just a block away from this park."
unbeknownst to you, it was taking könig everything to not fold right now. aside from being an extremely socially anxious person, he finds you so incredibly pretty. your demeanor, how you carry yourself towards him, how you smile at him, and most of all how you somehow put him at ease; it's as if it's the first time he really wanted to get to know someone and spend more time with someone even if you two just met. he rarely stays in his house here in austria so he never really knew anyone here, nor was he aware that someone like you lives around here. if he did, he'd actually make an effort to go out regularly.
"staying a bit in here? you travel a lot?" you raised a brow, simultaneously patting your cat's head.
"o-oh yeah, i don't stay in my place much." he laughed nervously, his body language changing. könig doesn't really want to tell anyone about his line of work, much less a woman he's interested in. it's surprising enough that you didn't get scared away by his mask, and most of all how he took your cat. he's afraid he might scare you off and immediately lose you. right off the bat, he wants to take you out for drinks; but his confidence is too low because he thinks  that it wouldn’t go further than that.
but nonetheless! it's been a long time since he felt this kind of rush. musing at you and smiling beneath his mask, his heart ran wild on his chest. your cat was one thing that drew him to you, but your smile and with how your beauty shone with the golden glint of the sky. he somehow managed to hold a conversation with you whilst observing how the colors in your eyes glistened in the sunset and how your hair danced with the breeze and kept it away from your face to give him a better look.
"hey, uh." he garnered all the sprouting confidence you gave him from laughing alongside him with dry jokes and boring stories. you pressed your lips together, muttering a "hm?" as your attention was fully directed at him. he sweated a little before saying, "do you maybe wanna... grab drinks or something? you can bring her if you want." he lightheartedly invited you, laughing a little at that last bit.
your heart thumped in your chest a little too fast; finding this man so cute despite the strange cloth that prevented you from knowing the face behind it and his overwhelmingly huge size. "i think i'm supposed to say that last bit, yeah? i'll bring her if YOU want, könig." you broke into a laugh, hearing his laughter too. "but, of course. i'd be happy to."
you see him perk up a little at your reply. behind that mask, you know that he's smiling from the curve of his eyes.
reaching the nearby pub, a dimly lit place that reeked of liquor and cigarettes. the place was decorated with vintage records, paintings, and trinkets. regulars were playing pool, teenagers were in the far back shoving their tongues down each others' throats, and the old, tired bartender wiping off some cups and bottles. you two sat by the high chairs, secluded in some corner not too far from the bartender.
he ordered a whiskey while you settled for a classic scotch. not too long, you two somehow hit it off for hours: playing with the cat, playing with pool and trash-talking some regulars, getting tipsy and touching each other quite more, playing some old arcade games and destroying each other, and saying things that you two might forget in the morning.
"i'm better at pool than you." he blurted out. "your aim is just hilariously cute." he walked behind you, keenly watching if you'll trip and fall from how you stumble while walking.
"it's the liquor, i'll crush you sober!" you tried talking with no slurring, but miserably failed and evoked a snort from him. he held his alcohol pretty decently, he moved quite wonkily but still managed to walk properly. you however, had too much to drink. what could you say? you could drink a little too much when you're with someone you enjoy!
"right, how do you plan on doing that?" he caught you when you almost tried reaching for your imaginary chair that looked way too vivid in your vision, he had a firm hand on your arm as you sat back down in your previous spot. "can you even get home at this rate?"
"shut up, you're so cocky for someone who won because you're bigger." you mumbled, laying your head down on the table.
"that doesn't make sense, name. accept defeat, yeah?" you grumbled as a response, hearing a chuckle from him.
his phone rang suddenly. könig stood behind you, an arm beside your frame as it rested on the high table before taking his eyes off you and answering his phone. "we've got a mission for you, könig. kortac will be deployed in a week from now, the details will be discussed in hq at the same time. copy?"
"roger."
his heart somewhat sank at the announcement. never had he felt hesitant nor felt his heart waver at an issuing of deployment. he always completed missions one after the other passively. he didn't have anything to miss or look forward to. but when he looked at you, wasted as you almost fell off your seat if it weren't for his arm supporting you from the side, he just felt like he couldn't leave you alone now... or maybe ever?
he gestured for the bartender to bring a pitcher of water. "alright, listen to me. you're gonna drink that until you can walk and think straight, got it?" he tapped at your back placing a glass of water in front of you. you whined, taking the glass from him begrudgingly. "you have a lot of trust for someone you just met, huh."
"why, soldier? gonna do somethin' bad to the citizen you serve for?" you blurted out, chugging the entire glass of water and burping afterward. you saw how his eyes widened and how his shoulders perked up a bit from shock. "yeah, that call earlier proved my suspicions."
"aren't you blacked out drunk?" he looked away, trying to avoid the topic.
"oh please, my head's heavy and i feel like shit. doesn't mean i'm deaf and dumb, big guy." you nudged his shoulder a little. "saw the tag shining when you bent down during pool, lotsa scars for someone ordinary, you rarely live at your house means you get deployed a lot, that sorry excuse for a subtle knife pouch in your pants, and that call earlier." you listed out taking another chug of an entire glass.
"nice catch, know a soldier?" he relaxed a little, watching how you skillfully stuffed all that water down the drain you call your body.
"dated one." you responded, eyeing him whilst drinking.
"so you have a type?" he sounded cheeky, sounding like his face was smugly staring at you. "that why you're all smiley ever since we met, huh?"
you broke into laughter, fanning yourself. thanking god that you can excuse your blushing from the inebriation. "you are acting smitten, soldier. maybe you have it the other way around? no fair your face is hidden though, couldn't see if i got you smiling or something."
"what do you think then, frau?" he leaned fairly close, your knees touching as his gaze traversed your entire face.
"i think my bladder's going to explode, i'll deal with your flirting later." you winked, walking past him to the bathroom. little did you know, you left the big guy giggling stupidly to himself.
you came back and he was patiently waiting for you. "i can walk properly now."
"right, i didn't want to get home all alone when you're all wasted." he stood up too, massively towering over you.
"tch, you're saying too much for a man with a mask." you snubbed, playfully stomping out of the pub.
you two walked home, still talking about useless things and other stories and passing jokes. he held your cat close to his chest while walking, the cat falling asleep in his big grasp. "where's your house again?"
"i can walk there fine, könig. it's okay. you must be tired too, mine’s just a few houses away." you dismissed, a tired smile on your lips.
"ah-ah, i insist. it'd be improper to leave a frau like you walking alone at midnight." he strolled beside you.
"but you're pretty far from here, right?" you looked up at him.
"doesn't matter, it's not far for me." he replied. "getting worried?"
"pft, no." you brushed off, despite the smile on your face. "just don't wanna be a suspect if you were gonna be found dead tomorrow."
after a short exchange of laughter, you reached your house. "well, this is it." you concluded. "i'll be taking MY cat back."
he laughed a little before handing the sleeping feline to you. "i had a really good time, könig. good night." you smiled, musing at the vibrance of his green eyes.
"me too," he waved farewell. "good night." he backed away before finally walking away to where his house was. walking home with a smile on his face, the subtle scent of your perfume on his shirt that was decorated generously with cat fur, and a viciously, fast beating heart. he hadn't felt this kind of high from someone.
the fact that you two may or may not see each other again stayed at the back of your minds. but you two slept it off with a smile, hoping this wasn't the end of it.
that's what you thought, but you hadn't seen him in days. you forgot to get his number and what's worse is you don't know where he lives! there's no way of reaching him now.
you figured that he maybe got deployed or something, maybe that phone call from the night you two were together was it. you sighed in your realization, plopping onto your bed in despair as you reminisce about your fun, little date. slowly accepting that you wouldn't see him again. that he is just another fling or another incident to make you happy temporarily and remind you why you can't settle down with anyone.
that is until your door almost broke down from the force of the knocking down the hall. you opened the door, only to find könig drenched in the rain.
"w-what the fuck?! don't you have an umbrella?! come inside, you idiot!" you panicked, moving over to let him in. the bastard was shivering in the cold so you fetched him a towel before letting him sit on your couch. your cat immediately settled on his lap.
"start talking, könig." you sighed, sitting on the coffee table before him.
suddenly, he pulled the shirt off his head to finally reveal his once covered face. you were about to hand him a glass of water only to accidentally drop it from his gesture. he caught it though, military reflexes.
"thoughts?" he broke into an awkward smile, drinking from the water he caught. he chuckled at the priceless reaction you have. "say something, frau. it's starting to get weird here."
his auburn curls were damp and sat atop his head in a disheveled manner, some of his curls framed the sides of his face down to his jaw. his pale complexion had faint freckles and  prominent scars all over his chiseled face and body where you could see his skin. he had relaxed eyebrows and somewhat sunken eyes, though his bright, green eyes made up for it. his lips were chapped and fairly pink as the natural tint in his cheeks. but what sets his entire face off from the ordinary was the big scar that went from his right temple down to his left jaw that went across his eyebrow, nose, and lips.
"i-if it's scaring you, i c-can cover it-"
"no..!" you impulsively hugged him by his neck, both of you surprised at your actions. "i-it's brave, thank you, könig. that must've taken a lot in you to do."
"just five days of tossing and turning and regretting that i didn't gave you my number." he sarcastically remarked, returning your hug by settling both of his hands across your back.
you laughed a little before pulling away. you then took off your shirt, only in your bra now. you see him pull away immediately, beet red on the face as he averted his gaze from your body. "what the hell are you doing, you idiot! i have something to show you too."
an embarrassed "oh" escaped his lips. he tried to compartmentalize those thoughts and focused on what you were going to say. that's when he noticed the huge scar spanning from your chest down to your abdomen. "it's also my biggest scar from being in the service, i was discharged after i got it."
his eyes widened, "y-you were in the service too?!"
"yeah, that's how i met the one i dated. and how i lost him too." you tried composing yourself and swallowed hardly. "all i'm saying is, we both have these. so... none of that, none of you, is scaring me, könig." you smiled softly, brushing your fingers by his arms that were also rich in scars.
"look i, uh, will be deployed in two days." he broke out, his deep green eyes frantically mirroring his overwhelming feelings. "i was thinking if we could, you know, if you'd want to go somewhere with me to make the most of my leave?"
you teared up from laughing, either from joy or endearment. "you didn't have to be so dramatic and run in the rain about it, though. but yes, let's do that."
a wide smile made its way to his face, the vast amount of scars contrasted the joy he had in his eyes and lips. a putty feeling made his chest tight as he sat face to face with you, your scars and his visible to each other. it's the first time he ever shared something like this with someone. once strangers a few days ago turned into something more because he decided to drag his ass to you and not let his thoughts get the best of him, and he was proud of himself because of that.
you lent him an umbrella and told him to meet up at the airport after packing his stuff. and you carried on with yours too, a sudden trip with him would be a rush you'd never thought you'd experience. you've thrown in some outfits, body essentials, undergarments, and the like to try and take your mind off of him and wipe that lovesick smile on your face. but failed of course.
soon after, you two met at the airport with your suitcases. you waved at him cheerfully, smiling as he got closer. "thought you were gonna stood me up." you joked, nudging him a little. "soldiers are always on time, right? what happened to you?"
"i got lost?"
"save it, let's get our tickets now." he took your suitcases as you made your way to the ticket counter for both of your tickets.you already booked tickets before you packed hours ago so it all went smoothly, soon enough you two made it to paris.
you two had spent an afternoon eating at artisan food markets for lunch, shopping at boutiques (mostly you), taking pictures in museums, and ending the day biking to your hotel. the day was cut short since you two arrived at lunchtime, but you two had planned a lot for the next day.
you two had a problem with the hotel though, "well, we booked a hotel on the same day so... we can't really complain about having only one bed."
"...i'd just sleep on the couch or something. whatever you're comfortable with." he insisted on the elevator, kind eyes looking at you beneath the mask.
"i had fun today, könig." you blurt out, not even thinking you did. your eyes were tired from the nonstop journey from flying to roaming about the lively streets of paris but it all reflected your words.
he stared at you for a while, a smile beneath his mask. he was about to say something when the elevator ding interrupted his thoughts that were already clouded with you.
you insisted on taking a shower first because, god, you felt disgusting and embarrassed sitting next to him while you were this smelly. once you got out, you notice how he doesn't wear the cloth on his head anymore as he waited for you and shimmied through the channels in a language he doesn't understand. he shortly followed after taking a bath, bumping his head by the shower multiple times; you giggled at the sound of his curses and the thumps he made.
the bed was king-sized, so it fits the two of you with enough room for personal space. it wouldn't bother you to sleep with him though as  you feel comfortable with him, knowing that you spent the entire day with him. him taking off the mask when it's only the two of you proved enough for him to trust you, so you could do the same.
könig on the other hand though, was a mess talking about it though. "a-are you sure?"
"100%, it's big enough for the two of us don't you think?" you plopped yourself down the bed, sinking in the sheets. "plus, you're not gonna fit that couch."
he complied awkwardly, not knowing how to position himself nor if he should touch you as he settled on that one spot on his side of the bed. you couldn't sleep while he was being uncomfortable so you sat up and tapped on his shoulder.
"is sleeping with me bothering you?"
he looked over his shoulder, a worried look on his face. "i might crush you or something, or i might touch you inappropriately, or i might-"
"hey." you placed a hand on his arm. "i already told you, könig. i agreed to this. i trust you, okay? you'll be fine." you gave him an assuring smile before telling him good night. you two slept soundly that night, tangled in each other's arms.
the next day, you two went to disneyland and spent the entire day there. going ride to ride, stuffing yourselves with character-themed foods, you and him competing in those booths that have prizes, betting on who will scream first during horror attractions, getting some souvenirs by the shops, and tiring yourselves out from the number of rides in this park. laughing alongside him while enjoying the fun of paris has brought you nothing but that fluttery feeling under your skin and that uncontrollable beat of your heart.
once sunset came, you two ended the day with a boat on one of the canals. an intimate ride where you two didn't notice your intertwined fingers. after buying some bottles of scotch and whiskey, you two made it back to the hotel for the night. he popped the bottles open, drinking from the bottle and sharing it with you.
"so, last day, huh?" you started, downing a sip. the tv in the background faintly dulling the silence.
"you gonna miss me?" he replied with a smile on his face as he winked at you, chewing on some chips you bought.
"hmm, maybe." you shrugged, reaching over for the chips. "it'd suck if we just left it here, though."
"left what here?" he raised a brow. "the mess?" he gestured at the untidy sight of your room.
"are you that dense, könig?" you huffed a frustrated sigh. the puzzled look on his face not faltering, still waiting for clarity from you. "jesus christ, men really are that fucking dumb, huh."
you placed the bottle down, leaned over to him and sat on his lap, placed a hand on his cheek while the other was at the back of his head, and collided lips with him. it went on for a while, you feel him suck in a breath from your actions, making you smile through it.
the kiss got deeper and you wrapped your arms around his neck, his massive hands settled on your waist to hold you as he returned your kiss. the taste of alcohol lulling you closer to him and drunkening the both of you even more.
you pulled away and touched foreheads with him. "so that's what you want, spatzi?" könig remarked, giving the corner of your lips a peck.
"how did that feel?"
"liberating." he replied, "do you maybe wanna..."
"go all the way?" you finished, "thought you'd never ask."
he chuckled before kissing you again, licking your lips, and exploring your mouth. he carried you effortlessly by your bum as he sat by the edge of the bed. only to be pushed down by you as he lied flat and watched you take your clothes off.
you rubbed your core on his clothed crotch, he sucked in a deep breath from the sensation whilst he returned  your kisses. not long after, he was in his boxers and you were only in your bra and underwear. after he discarded the last article of clothing on you and him, he roamed his hands across your body, especially the scar you showed him yesterday. he easily flipped you around and now, he was on top of you.
he leaned down and placed kisses on your chest where the scar began, the middle of your mounds, and down to your stomach where the scar ended. he went back to your face and placed kisses on your cheek then back on your lips, "you sure about this?"
you nodded as his final green light before he dipped down to your sopping crevice. he knelt down on the floor and pulled you closer to the edge of the bed by your thighs before he licked a long trail on your core. you hitched a breath, fisting the sheets as your legs trembled in his grasp. he had a fixed eye on you as he devoured your soaked core, he nibbled on your clit and sucked soundly on your folds while he played with the bundle of nerves on your mounds with his fingers. he took his time with you, he didn’t stop until your legs shook and stuttered as you reach your climax.
he soon came back to you, kissing you once more. your hand trailed down his toned torso, down to his firm length; you felt him shiver a bit at your touch as his lips stuttered on you. you smiled through the kiss and maneuvered him despite his size as you got on top of him. 
you soon admired the beauty of this man, as he lay bare before you. you notice him becoming self-conscious  as you stared at him for a long time that you hadn't realized that you were doing it for too long. "hey, don't get shy with me now. you know why i like staring at you so much?"
"why?" he shyly answered, hands awkwardly placed on your hips.
"because i like you, i like looking at you. i'm savoring the fact that your mask is off, that you're able to trust me with this. it must've been hard for you but you still agreed with me, right?" you said with a smile, a hand on his cheek as he leaned on your touch. 
you began peppering hickeys on his neck, across his chest and abdomen. kissing all of his scars across his chiseled body. until you reach his prodigious length, he grew shy as you wrapped your hands around it. you licked the tip, circling your tongue around it to get him going. until you gobbled him whole, a guttural moan escaping his lips as he threw his head back at the warmth of your mouth. simultaneously pumping his length whilst bobbing your head gave him the pleasure that penetrated every muscle in his body. beneath his abdomen, a ticklish feeling bubbling up that left his member twitching  in your throat. not long after, his sweet release shot ropes down your throat. 
as he unsurely positioned himself on you, he took a while to gaze at you and the comparable size of his length. he placed both of his arms to support his weight by your sides, lowering himself down to give you a peck on the cheek. “tell me if it hurts.” he assured with a smile before wedging his thick length down you. 
he pressed his forehead to yours as he slid in slowly, both of you hitching a breath at the first stretch of your tight cunt. the warm and teeming feel of how your walls tightly enveloped him as he slid further until the head of his length reached your cervix; you squealed at the sensation, he chuckled while tucking a hair in your ear. as he tried and started moving, trying to detect if he’s hurting you in any way while he’s balls deep in you. but the only thing he saw was how you shut your eyes tight and how carnal, melodious moans left your agape mouth. he took it as an opportunity to buck his hips back and forth, sliding his length to your entrance back to the end of where he first settled, his dog tag clinking by its chains in chorus with his filthy movements. 
it was pure fucking bliss to you, it’s like you’re high on some sort of drug. the overwhelming length of him and how he was panting just as heavy as you are from the unparalleled sensation you two are in right now. you pulled him by his dog tag and he met your lips, swallowing all your moans as hips simultaneously tried finding the rhythm you two are comfortable in. 
once you two pulled away, he gazed at how his length disappeared from your crevice from time to time then back at your face which was flushed red. he planted hickeys on your shoulder, playing with your mounds with his tongue, and left handprints on your rear. 
lost in the same ecstasy; you kept grazing your nails across his back with each sinful thrust, biting on his neck with each moan of your name that left his mouth, and clawing at his chest with how good he fills you up. it almost felt like time wasn’t running and you two didn’t care how loud you two are nor how feral the creaking of the bed sounded. 
soon after, you were now on top of him. you bounced on his lap slowly, it’s a rhythm you two got used to. his hands were settled on your waist while the other was on your rear, helping you keep up the motion. your hands were caressing one side of his cheek while the other rested on his chest to support yourself. you bent down where you can press foreheads with him once more as your hips moved up and down, gradually sliding up and down on his length in a manner that drove both of you crazy. you two exchanged breaths and moans at the turmoil of pleasure that lulled both of you to a drunken state of each other, no talking was needed as you both looked deeply into each other’s eyes with much fervor. beads of sweat started budding on the surface of your skin at your nonstop intercourse. 
“you’re sweating, schatz.” he whispered, grinning afterward when he wiped the beads of sweat on your forehead with the back of his hand.
“you’re one to talk, you’re panting like an animal in heat.” you returned, hoisting yourself up as you steadily sat on his length. “want to take a break, colonel?” you cockily raised a brow, hands roaming on the span of his chest.
“you’re just pushing it now, huh.” he sat up too, getting a firm hold of your waist. “that’s lieutenant colonel to you, major.” 
his swift moments almost made you stumble and fall if it weren’t for the large hands that supported you. “ready?” he whispered in your ear and before you could answer, he rammed into you so fast you couldn’t even so much as choke a word. your chest is on the verge of exploding from the unruly pace of his hips as he drilled deep in you. it went on for a while, crude moans that got your neighbors turning their heads and almost disturbing the both of you; it’s not like you’d stop for them though. you later ran out of breath and your body got limp from the overstimulation of his length.
you two just lay in the bed afterward. you were between his legs and he was behind you, rubbing your stomach gently while placing kisses on your neck. “didn’t know you were gonna give up that fast, name.”
you elbowed him as a response, “alright, i know i got too excited. not my fault you got too sexy. i had to do something, liebling.”
there was silence after a little laughter from the both of you, it then occurred to you his inevitable departure would not be too long from now. “hey, what time are you leaving?”
“they’d need me before the day ends.” he cleared his throat, a weighing feeling went back on his chest. “this is the first time i felt like i’d wanna bail on a mission.” he chuckled dryly, gazing at the peeking sun of dawn by the large windows of your hotel.
“we should probably get going now, don’t wanna miss our flight-” you planned on leaving his grasp to stand up and get ready, only to get pulled closer. 
“we can stay for a little more.” he mumbled. “please, mein liebe.” he buried his face deeper at the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent more until he grew tired of it. 
you smiled, complying with his request and staying like that for over half an hour. eventually, you two had to fly back to austria and make it to his headquarters there. it was an inevitable parting between the two of you. it’s not like this feeling is new to you, you knew very well what happens when dating a soldier. you became one and dated one. but this one was extra fucking sadder, you don’t know why but now that you saw what’s beneath that mask and mountain of clothes—you’d never want to let him go, you just had to protect him and give him all the love he deserves. 
you two now parked before the building of his headquarters. after saying bye to your cat, he finally dreaded saying goodbye to you. “come on, könig. it’s not like we’ll never see each other again. you’re not about to let yourself get killed, hm?” you lightheartedly tried calming him down. 
he didn’t say anything and hugged you, pulling you by your neck with one arm while the other held you close by the small of your waist. “i promise to come back, vögelchen. you keep yourself safe here, you got it?” he pulled away, a gentle hand on your cheek. 
“you’ve got some nerve ordering someone who ranked higher than you.” you hit him on the chest playfully. “i’ll keep my promise if you keep yours.” you fished out something in your pocket, it was your old dog tag and handed it to him. “okay?” you searched for any affirmations in his green eyes.
he plucked out his own dog tag from his neck and gave it to you instead, he wore what you gave him. “copy.” amidst the cloth, you can see the tears in his eyes form and cascade down his face. you gave him one last tight hug, got under his mask, and gave him a long, deep kiss before sending him off. he waved goodbye one last time before disappearing into the building. 
“so you found someone, huh?” horangi greeted him by the entrance. 
“quit the snooping and let’s get to the conference room, i’d like to make this shit quick.”
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this is my first time writing for könig and cod, forgive my sins my senpais 😭🌷
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lillygamine · 2 months
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🙤 𝒜𝓃𝒾𝓂𝒶𝓁 𝒹𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝒶𝓃𝒾𝑒 🙦
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♡ Warning: Female!Reader X Male!Vampire,Male!Monster, non-consensual relationship, power dynamics (unbalanced) ⚠️ Minors please dni with most posts/follow ⚠️
♡ Note: I was feeling the urge to write again, but I didn't really know what to write So I did something about vampire x reader, I think I did something else about Dracula x Reader ^^' ♡ Note 2: English is not my first language, but I hope you like it :>
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His icy hands touching my body, each drag of his fingers on my skin expressed his dominance over me. He was a hunter, and I was trapped prey… I couldn't escape, and even if I could, where would I go? There is no place in this godforsaken land that I could hide from him, the persecution, fear and anxiety in every step I take would only increase, and in the end… I know it would be nothing more than a game of cat and mouse between us , it's always a game for him.
Whenever I close my eyes, I can hear the noise of the flames spreading through my house, the sound of destruction that takes place, the sound of the employees being trapped in the middle of the flames and rubble, screaming for mercy… the sight of that very new creature and so old, scary to the bone but still as seductive as a fine wine made from the sweetest vintage, her mesmerizing eyes watching me from afar, just watching the fear take over my entire being.
I remember the feeling of the cold wind of the autumn night on my skin and the stinging of the branches that hit my skin and cut me, the vegetation hurting my bare feet. I remember the feeling of fear I felt with every stumble, the tremors when I heard the howls of the hungry wolves in the forest… and when I felt a glimmer of hope when I saw a distant, illuminated castle, running towards it in search of my life, with hope. desperately knocking on her door, which opened as if the wind invited me in, I was safe, I was alive… oh sweet god how wrong I was…
That monstrosity, that sadistic being entered that room lit by beautiful chandeliers made of gold, walking towards me as if floating.
-Look at you little mouse, are you so scared that you ran to the first house you saw, or was it your greed that made you choose this place? That made you enter my house of your own free will?
Defeat, that's what I felt… I went straight into the wolf's den…
-But of course I won't complain! You saved me the trouble of dragging her here! Such a good pet, isn't it?
I tried to run, I swear to God I tried, but he grabbed me by my hair and threw me against the ground, I felt my head hurt and my conscience wobble.
-Annoying little creature, you will not run away from me… what is mine will not stop being mine, and if you try-He towered over my fragile body and clouded mind-I will break every bone in your mortal body, but I will not let you die , you will live
Standing over me, he held my hair tightly, moving my head as he wanted, exposing my neck.
-You are my pet, a toy that I can play with and break whenever I want, I will discard you when I no longer want to play with you, so-he brought his mouth closer to my neck-don't let me get bored.
Pain infiltrated my limp body, I felt my remaining strength abandon me and my conscience betray me.
I was just a pretty doll for him to dress and play with, a doll for him to break and fix as he pleases, I'm not going to run away… I don't want to live like this, I'd rather die… But I know that if he kills me… I will come back as cold as he is…
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silverynight · 5 months
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A charming witch
<---Previous
Part III
He's nervous, but determined. Besides, even though it's his first time summoning a demon (if he doesn't count that one time when he was a little kid) he's come prepared for it.
Taking a deep breath, Izuku places the salt and the flowers for protection around the circle he made. In the book he just acquired says that he needs to know the symbol for the demon he's going to make a pact with.
Izuku doesn't plan to make any kind of deals with Bakugo, but he supposes that's the only reason someone would summon a demon.
He makes appear his book about demons (that his mother made him promise he wouldn't open when he was a child) silently says he's sorry to his mother and starts looking for Bakugo's symbol. Now, it's not like they have a list of names with symbols attached to them; most of the things in the book don't make sense to Izuku, but he supposes what he's looking for is the one that's assigned to the king.
But what if he's wrong? What if Ashido was joking when she talked about her boss? What if Bakugo is not the demon king?
The witch looks nervously around his room; it is dark and the candles on the floor are the only thing that help him see.
Shaking his head, Izuku decides that it's too late to step back now.
He uses a needle to make a tiny cut on his finger so he can draw the symbol with his own blood. However, before he can start, as he leans closer, a drop of blood falls from it and the symbol draws itself on the floor.
Startled and nervous, Izuku starts chanting the words for the protection spell immediately, moving a little bit away from the circle of flowers and salt.
He's not sure if it's the correct symbol or not and has no idea how or why it wrote itself.
There's an explosion in the middle of the room that doesn't react him thanks to the incantation and the next thing he knows is that the demon known as Bakugo Katsuki is in the middle of the circle.
From where Izuku is sitting, the demon looks so much taller than in his dreams. But he's wearing something that makes him look like one of those barbarians that come to the village every autumn; Izuku wonders why right before the demon hisses when he bumps into an invisible shield.
"WHY AM I..." He doesn't finish the sentence, takes a deep breath and kneels. "I'm not going to hurt you, you know?"
"I'm... not sure about that," Izuku says carefully, even though he feels like the demon is telling the truth and that he's being a little bit unfair.
"Are you alright?" Bakugo asks, trying not to look as frustrated as he feels. "Did they hurt you?"
Izuku shakes his head.
"Thanks for waking me up, Kacchan."
"You're welcome, nerd."
The last word makes him remember something else... Bakugo used to call him nerd every time he saw him. But that means he saw him a couple of times, not just once.
"Were we friends, Kacchan?"
"I'd like to think that we still are, Izuku," the demon smiles, looking a little bit sad as he places a hand on the invisible barrier.
"Why I don't remember...?" The witch starts rubbing his temples, feeling a light headache.
"I don't know, but you stopped summoning me one day and it... hurt," Bakugo looks away with a pained expression on his face. "I thought I scared you away because I tried to bite you."
"Why did you? I still don't understand," Izuku mumbles. But if he remembers correctly now, he wasn't scared then. His mother was.
Was she the one who took his memories away? Was it because of the father he never met? Was she scared he could accidentally see him too? He's not sure and there's no way to ask her now.
Rubbing the back of his neck, Bakugo takes a deep breath and blushes to the tip of his pointy ears; it's cute.
"That's how demons mark their mates. I wanted you to be my mate... it's some sort of connection... I think your people use marriage for that. Mating bites are similar."
Now it's Izuku's turn to blush and he's sure he looks like a strawberry because his mother used to tell him that.
"Oh... so you had a crush on me."
The demon rolls his eyes, takes a smear of Izuku's blood with his finger and marks his left shoulder with it.
"No, it was more than that," he tries to explain as a figure appears on his shoulder and in the middle of it the letter 'I'... to Izuku it looks like a tattoo.
"Is that my–"
"Yes, the 'I' is for Izuku," Bakugo smirks, staring at it with pride. "I knew you were the one. That's why your blood calls to me every single time; you couldn't summon any other demon no matter how much you wanted to."
"Does that mean we're soulmates?" The witch asks, feeling suddenly very shy. He likes the demon, but it's difficult for him to imagine that he's destined to be with the demon king.
"I guess you could call it that."
Izuku looks up at the demon and feels like he knows him, like he can trust him and has always felt that way about him.
"Why do you want to stay here?"
"I said I wasn't good to bite you unless you wanted to and I won't, but I want the opportunity to court you, like your people do."
The honesty takes him by surprise; Izuku blinks a couple of times before deciding that he really wants to give him a chance. Having someone in his weird little house would be good for a change.
Quickly, he removes the flowers and the salt so the demon can step away from the circle and he giggles when the first thing Bakugo does is to tackle him to the ground in a very enthusiastic hug.
"I missed you, nerd."
"I missed you too, Kacchan," Izuku says sincerely, even though he just remembers glimpses of their friendship.
They have to do a binding spell so Bakugo can stay as much as he wants, but the demon doesn't mind at all.
Later they cuddle and Izuku falls asleep in his demon's arms, which is definitely something he can get used to.
***
By the time Ochako returns to her best friend's little shop, her deal with Mina has expired so she comes back alone. However, she's perfectly aware of what happened to Midoriya.
"Hi!" She waves one of her hands happily as the cute green haired witch rushes to the entrance to greet her.
"Hello, Uraraka! What can I help you with today?" He asks as a very grumpy but tall barbarian gets closer to them and hisses at her. "Kacchan!"
Ochako giggles; it's not that the demon's illusion is bad, he certainly does look human, it's just that she can perfectly see through a simple charm like that one.
What surprises her is that the demon's energy feels extremely powerful and if what Mina said is true, then she's standing in front of the demon king himself.
Now, she'd be a lot more intimidated if it wasn't because said demon can't stop himself from making heart eyes at Midoriya every five minutes.
Although she's actually happy for them, they look very much in love.
"I just wanted to know how you were doing, actually," she says.
"He's perfectly fine because I'm here! He doesn't need you!"
"Kacchan, why are you being so rude to Uraraka?"
Ochako rolls her eyes before staring directly at the demon; having Midoriya around helps her feel more at ease in front of someone so powerful.
"Relax, I'm just his friend."
"Tch!" The blond demon grimaces like he doesn't care, but he does indeed relax significantly around her.
"You should let him bite you already; it's the only way he'll relax completely in front of strangers."
Midoriya blushes adorably and the demon smiles fondly at him like the besotted dork he is.
"I... I want to get married too, that's why we'll have to wait a bit for that," Midoriya mumbles, covering his own face for a couple of seconds. "And you're invited, by the way! I just don't have the invitations yet."
"It's okay, I'll wait," she chuckles, watching as the demon king pulls the green haired witch into his arms and kisses him all over the face.
It's obvious they've been living together for a while now and they're completely comfortable around each other.
"Bakugo Katsuki," the demon finally introduces himself, like he suddenly remembered that Ochako was still there.
"Uraraka Ochako, it's honestly a pleasure," she chuckles when the demon rolls his eyes and pulls Midoriya even closer.
It's certainly an unusual relationship, but a very cute one at the same time; Bakugo looks anything but kind and gentle and yet he's doing his best to make Midoriya giggle as he presses little kisses against his curls.
"Does he make you happy?" Ochako asks her friend, ignoring the irritated expression the demon throws at her.
"Very much."
"Then that's all that matters." She stops smiling for a second before adding: "But if you make him cry..."
"Same goes to you, round face!"
Yeah, she definitely likes that one for her friend.
"Keep him out of trouble."
"You and I know that's basically impossible."
"You're right..."
"I'm still here!" Midoriya pouts, prompting Ochako and Bakugo to burst into laughter.
Midoriya knows a kiss on the lips is more than enough to shut the demon up and Ochako decides to leave them alone for a while; she'll come back later.
***
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spockandawe · 4 months
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I'm going to have full cohesive pitches for these books as individual experiences sometime soon, i swear, but since I 1) just finished rereading thousand autumns (first time where it wasn't a third mtl), 2) am rereading peerless for the first time in years, and 3) am reading sleuth of the ming dynasty for the first time ever, I've been thinking a LOT about meng xi shi as an author and trying to scrape together my thoughts. Because I think she's really stunningly good! She's one of those authors whose skill just SHINES through, even when a translation is weak, and that's always something so fascinating to me.
But at the same time, i have a harder time raving about her books than most of my other faves. Trying to pitch thousand autumns to friends was something I really struggled with! The other two are easier, by nature of their central dynamics, while yan wushi cranks this one up to nightmare difficulty mode. But I think that it also provides an example of what I might be having to recalibrate for.
Like, I'm an easy binch. If Hua Cheng is leaving a necklace for Xie Lian early on, or Luo Binghe is noticing Shen Qingqiu's leaves right at the beginning of their books, I'm hootin and hollerin, I'm drumming my heels on the floor. And Meng Xi Shi is NOT about that instant gratification lifestyle. We're not having dessert before dinner, and there is some INTRICATE plot shit happening in all these books that is not getting muscled aside for indulgent ship time.
I'm absolutely certain it's a conscious choice, and one i respect the hell out of, especially since all of these books have the characters woven in with actual historical figures, which always manages yo take me by surprise. I assume details like keeping a wholeass imperial prince secret until he's five are fictional embellishment, but... nope! Actual history! The SCOPE of these plots and the politics they all muck around with means that there are limits to how much an author could spend time on ship bait without trivializing the central conflict. As much as i enjoyed golden stage, i never cared about the politics. And not caring about the politics in meng xi shi's work would be jettisoning SO much nutritional content.
And, that's not to say that there's NOTHING indulgent for me in the earlier parts! Yan Wushi starts delightedly letting people assume he's plowing Shen Qiao as soon as they start traveling together, Feng Xiao spends the second mystery of Peerless totally disguised as Cui Buqu's wife and fighting with him as "this wife", and Sui Zhou and Tang Fan start straight-up cohabiting POSTHASTE. And then. Meng xi shi makes you wait for it.
This isn't bad! The delayed gratification is very GOOD! The tension is delectable. The feeling of 'oh come on now you're just dragging this out on purpose' is mitigated by having characters drag things out in character. Shen Qiao's sense of responsibility pulls him towards Yan Wushi, and then away from Yan Wushi (and yan wushi is also Helping sfhfgdf). Feng Xiao doesn't move THAT fast, but Cui Buqu will Literally Die before he'll admit he has tender feelings. And Tang Fan is textually scared to lose what he has platonically with Sui Zhou by stepping into unknown territory. I'm still howling OH COME ON, but it transmutes into something directed at the characters, not the author.
And the plots we're making space for like this are hefty bois. All of them have heavy political themes, where in my usual diet, i would reluctantly accept a little politics on the side in my ancient chinese fantasy meal. And each of these books has baited me further into caring about mundane politics 😂 In Thousand Autumns, it's very much a balance between lavishly described fantasy martial arts extravaganza and big politics enhanced by the martial arts extravaganza. Peerless, we're down one martial artist in the lead characters, so there's more non-fighting politics happening (and both characters are secret police commanders), but at least one of my boys floats around playing magic music on his guqin. Fourteenth Year Of Chenghua? Goddamn, I'm reading this thing and I'm in the THROES over ancient chinese imperial office politics, like oh noooo oh my god HOW COULD THEY DEMOTE HIM AT A TIME LIKE THIS, fffff, who can possibly intercede with the emepror now-- And i have NO idea how i reached this point, this is so funny to me.
I do think it says a lot for all three of these that they won me over so hard despite not being as tailored to my personal tastes as something like mxtx! I do love all them to pieces. But it's something like... Digging in at the earlier, slower stages of these books was a hell of a struggle. One that paid off, but i worry about people bouncing off them! Something I've said about thousand autumns (and will say again) is that it's a book that asks for a lot of trust from readers. Some of that is PURELY down to yan wushi, but the structure and pace doesn't make that easy. I do think that the trust is repaid by the end, at least in terms of my reading experience, but it makes me worry! I do want people to read these!
Actually that brings me to the last big strong point I want to mention before i get back to reading: the character writing. Because GODDAMN, the character writing. It both contributes to the slow start in these books, I think, but also MASSIVELY enriches the emotional payout as they progress.
Yan Wushi is one of the funniest, most obnoxious characters of all time! He's also cruel, demanding, and overbearing, and a strong, vivid personality like that takes real time and effort to develop. The beginning of the book looks like it could slip into misery porn + stockholm syndrome healing cock = i guess this is a healthy relationship now. And it doesn't! But it's hard to tell how it WILL go, and that makes it hard to commit to a tome like this. Feng Xiao is comparably obnoxious and hilarious, but Cui Buqu is closed up tight as a clam, and both of them deal in secrets professionally, it is HARD to start accessing any hints of emotional sincerity in either of them. And Tang Fan and Sui Zhou are both junior government officials, early in their careers in a volatile work environment, and they present in a pretty reserved, professional way at first, and the subtler/goofier character notes take time and intimacy to properly manifest. wang zhi on the other hand--
I recommend these books! I really recommend them! I don't want to be underwhelming people with 'oh, you won't like it at first, but JUST YOU WAIT.' Because I did like them at first. They didnt elevete me to the same flailing emotional THROES as some novels, but the quiet rich flavor of the relationships in these are FABULOUS. And the sheer scope of the plots she pulls off, I mean, holy shit. I'm not underwhelmed by these books at all, I'm more likely to get overwhelmed, there's a reason I've been savoring the latest reading experience. I like them a lot! I like meng xi shi as a lot! In the sliver of cnovels that I've sampled, her books are doing some really cool things i haven't seen anyone else pull off, especially with such aplomb. I didn't start out LOOKING for books like that, but I'm still really, really glad i found them, and I do highly recommend them, just in general. I'll figure out how to pitch them individually soon.
*holds probably over 1.5M words of meng xi shi tomes* I Just Think She's Neat
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the-little-moment · 2 months
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Part 1
In Another Life ~ A Crosshair Fanfiction 🪔
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Words: 2,286
Warnings: Smoking
Summary: Crosshair can't face his family after all they've been through, especially what happened to Tech on Eriadu. Even though his brother is now recovered from his injuries and living happily with his fiancee on Pabu, Crosshair's guilt forces him away from the others. In an attempt to maintain their life-long connection, Senna moves away from the rest of their family, knowing it's the only way she can still see Crosshair.
This fic is an AU of "Not Just the Carcass, But the Spark", set in the future. It is not the same universe as "Only What Burns You Back".
Because I'm With You 🪔
Senna opened the window and lifted her leg over the sash, grunting as she pulled herself out onto the fire escape. From his perch on the narrow stairs, Crosshair turned to look at her. He lowered the cigarette from his mouth. “Coming out here to fuss at me?”
“No. I was coming out here to sit with you.” The doctor waited until he shifted over to join him on the metal step. 
They sat quietly for a moment, looking out over the lower roofs around them. The sun was just rising and the morning air was cool. Autumn was on the way. Senna glanced down at the cigarette in the sniper’s long fingers, sighing internally. She really did hate that he smoked now, but it wasn’t very surprising. They both had their demons.
Crosshair looked at her pointedly, then took another drag, letting the smoke drift out of his straight, narrow nose before he stubbed it out on the railing. “Happy?”
“I don’t know how you deal with the smell.”
“You get used to it.”
That made the doctor smile slightly as she looked down at his now empty hand. She reached out and took it, and Crosshair let her fold their fingers together. He let her do a lot of things these days that he wouldn’t have before. Senna understood. Everything that they had now felt fragile.
Crosshair would come and visit her with no warning, staying for a day, or a week. Then he’d leave again, just as suddenly. At first, he’d slept on her couch. Then Senna had coaxed him into the spare bedroom. But after one night, when she’d walked past to hear him in the throes of another nightmare, Senna had lain down next to him and stayed until morning. They’d never spoken of it but, from then on, Crosshair stayed in her room, in her bed, even though they did nothing but hold each other when the terrors came.
Senna had woken that morning to find Crosshair already gone, although there were signs that he hadn’t really left yet. His wallet and blaster were lying on her dresser, next to a small tray of her jewelry, as if that was the most normal thing in the world. The black duffel bag he always brought was still in the corner by her closet door. So he’s smoking outside. She’d sighed as she’d pulled on a sweater, heading to the window to join him. 
Crosshair ran his thumb over the doctor’s smaller fingers. “You been doing okay?”
Senna leaned into his shoulder and watched as the old man in the next building let his cat onto the balcony, the one with the damaged ear that reminded her of Wrecker. “You know how it is.”
It was always this way. Crosshair would come when he knew it was safe, although that really only meant when he knew no one else was there. His siblings. Not that Senna saw them as often as she wanted to anymore. Tech and Phee had stayed on Pabu. Echo was with Rex and his clone rebels. Wrecker had a long term girlfriend that he’d brought to meet Senna, but they spent most of their time near her family in the Outer Rim or back on Pabu with Tech. Hunter and Omega had a home there too, but they were currently on a year-long trip together. Senna missed them all almost more than she could bear but, for a long time now, Crosshair had been her priority. And she knew he would only come if she was away from the others. That meant this apartment, in a quiet town on a quiet planet in the Mid Rim.
He’d come last night, knocking because he knew it scared her when he let himself in. They’d eaten dinner together, almost shyly, and then gone to bed. It was always the next day when they talked. Senna was used to it now. Used to seeing him in softer clothing instead of armor or fatigues. Used to the way he’d leave while she was asleep so he didn’t have to say goodbye.
She didn’t know if this was healing, but it was better than letting go. She had promised him, in that cell on Weyland, that she would never let him go. They had taken him from her then. Now she was giving herself to him, in every way she knew how, desperate to make up for what they had lost. 
“How have you been?”
Crosshair looked down at her, then away, giving Senna a view of the way his hair curled gently around the scar above his ear. She reached up to brush it softly, waiting for his reply. 
“Fine.”
“Your job?”
“Also fine.” He glanced down again to catch the doctor rolling her eyes. “What do you want me to say? Life’s perfect. The job’s perfect. I have everything I could possibly want and more.” Crosshair smirked as Senna turned a mild glare on him. 
“Everything could be in absolute flames and you wouldn’t tell me.”
“You’d smell the smoke.”
“I do smell the smoke,” she muttered and Crosshair huffed a laugh. 
“There are worse things than cigs, Sen.”
Senna didn’t want to rehash it with him. He already knew how she felt. She knew smoking was a comfort to him, and it seemed unfair to force him to give it up when she had nothing to offer in its place. I would if you’d stay. We could make things better.
Still, it hurt her to know he was hurting himself. “There are better things than cancer.”
Crosshair took his hand out of hers and stood, reaching down to pull her up. “Not gonna live that long anyway.”
Back inside, he brewed a pot of caf while the doctor made breakfast. “I haven’t been here in a month and you’re telling me nothing’s new?”
Senna turned to look at the sniper as she stirred their eggs. “Is my life just not exciting enough for you?”
“Your life’s not exciting enough for anyone.” Crosshair chuckled as he caught the salt shaker the doctor threw at his head. 
Senna bit back a barbed comment. I’m here because of you. For you. And I haven’t seen you in a month. “What ‘new’ were you hoping for?”
Crosshair took the plate of eggs she handed him and set it on the counter with the rest. “I don’t know. A pet? A plant? I told you last time you should get out more, but I get the feeling that isn’t happening.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Senna looked affronted as she sat next to him at the counter. 
“Everything in your closet is extremely boring.”
“Crosshair!” Senna fought the urge to stab him with her fork as the sniper smiled into his caf. “First of all, my clothes are not boring. And, second of all, stay out of my things!”
“Your closet was open. Besides, I’m right, aren’t I?”
The doctor sighed deeply. “Why do you want me to get out so badly?”
Crosshair shrugged as he helped himself to more toast. “Meet new people. Maybe someone who’d keep you from being so lonely here.”
Senna stared at him. “I’m not…” 
The sniper lifted a skeptical eyebrow, knife scraping against the dry bread as he buttered it. “You are.”
Heat rose in Senna’s cheeks as she looked down at her plate. Of course she was lonely, but that didn’t mean she wanted to go find someone at a bar. Considering the fact that she was still wanted by the Empire, she tried to spend as little time with strangers as possible, unable to shake her paranoia even after these few non eventful years.
“It’s not like you’ve found someone," she said stubbornly, still looking at her unfinished eggs. "And you do get out." Then, a thought hit her, and the doctor raised her eyes to Crosshair's with an air of suspicion, tapping her fork against her plate. “Unless, of course, you have and you’re just not telling me.”
Crosshair's face was mild, the corner of his mouth lifted just a hair. “What makes you think that’s what I want?”
He said it with no tone at all, but the words hurt her all the same. “I just want you to be happy,” Senna said quietly, standing and taking her plate to the sink. When she turned back from scraping it, Crosshair was still watching her over the counter.
“What makes you think I’m unhappy?” he asked, with a crooked smile to soften the obvious. When Senna dropped her eyes to the sink, Crosshair stood and came around to hug her. “It’s not your fault, Sen," he said quietly as he pulled the doctor gently towards him. "Being here with you makes me happy. Why do you think I keep coming back?”
Senna swallowed a sniff against his chest, disappointed in the tears she felt coming. “To make fun of my clothes?” If I make you so happy, why won’t you stay? He didn’t owe her anything, it was just… Every time he left, she was afraid he’d never come back, just as she’d been during the war. 
A laugh rumbled beneath her ear. “You make it too easy. I’ve seen nuns with better style.” 
Crosshair watched Senna lazily from his reclined position on her couch as she strung small, colorful lights around the apartment for the impending Dipa Utsaava celebration, the Lights Festival, a tradition from her mother's home planet. The others would be coming in a few days. That meant it was almost time for him to leave. 
In bed the night before, while he listened to the doctor sleep, the thought had come again, that this was as close to happy as he’d ever be. That this was what he really wanted. But Crosshair had pushed it away, the same as every time before. He needed Senna to find someone else, someone who was good for her and would take care of her. He needed the choice to be taken out of his hands. Because every time he left it was harder. And everytime he held her in the dark it was easier. 
The sniper was shaken from his thoughts as Senna materialized next to him, holding up a shining holo disc with a smile that was just a little threatening. “It is time for the annual tradition,” she intoned as Crosshair groaned dramatically, pulling his hand out from behind his head to press it to his eyes.
“Maker preserve us,” he grumbled. 
Senna laughed as she stuck the disc into the holoplayer on the low console in front of the couch. “You know you love it.”
Crosshair frowned as the title of the movie appeared on the large vidscreen mounted on the opposite wall. “I think it actually gets worse every year.” He turned his scowl on the doctor as she forced him to sit up so she could join him on the couch. “I can't believe you're not saving this for the others.”
He received an innocent look in return. “I’m perfectly capable of watching my favorite holo twice so you don’t miss out.”
The source of Crosshair's pain was a cheesy holiday romance that Senna had first shown him and his brothers when they visited her at the army base on Coruscant, a lifetime ago. Crosshair found it atrocious, but there was something almost nostalgic about the predictable plot and idiotic characters after all this time. Wrecker, of course, had loved it from the beginning, and found far too many opportunities to squeeze awful quotes from it into daily conversation. 
Crosshair tried not to think about his brothers while he sat with the doctor. About the way Tech had picked apart every plot hole until Senna had yelled at him to hush. Or about the way Hunter had fallen asleep halfway through and continued to do so during every successive viewing. The year Echo had joined them, there had been no Dipa celebration with Senna, but Wrecker had forced their new brother to sit through the vid on the Marauder, with Tech later noting that the harrowing experience had been his true induction into the squad. 
Crosshair smiled faintly at the memory of Echo’s ire, but it soon fell away. None of that mattered anymore. They’d all be here in a few days and he’d be gone. That was just the way things were now. The way they had to be. 
Crosshair winced as the couple on the screen kissed, narrowing his eyes when he caught Senna smirking at him. “What?”
“I know that’s your favorite part,” the doctor chuckled, turning back to the screen. “I always like to watch you see it.”
“I don’t know how they manage to make it look so unappealing,” he muttered darkly. Senna just smiled as Crosshair turned to watch her instead. He thought she looked especially soft tonight, her hair loose and still damp from her shower. It had been years since he’d seen her in uniform, but that was still how he imagined her, in a starched white jacket or scrubs. He wondered, if anyone saw the two of them now, would they be able to tell what they’d used to be? Was there still something in the way they held themselves, an air? Not just Crosshair and Senna, but the most deadly sniper in the Grand Army and its chief medical officer, a decorated vice-admiral. Not likely, he thought, as the movie finally ended.
Senna sighed contentedly and rested her head against Crosshair’s shoulder. “Happy Dipa, dear.”
A snarky response rose to his lips, but Crosshair paused, shifting to wrap his arm around her instead. “Happy Dipa, Sen.”
Because I’m with you.
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Taglist: @just-here-with-my-thoughts @bad-batch-lurker @lightwise @freesia-writes @kybercrystals94
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dangelqueentmnt16 · 7 months
Text
Hat box ghost x autistic reader 💕
Based a real story from my dear friend with autism! 
My name is Y/N I'm 18 and I live in Louisiana, in an old mansion. I'm walking home after school, you see people are ignorant asshols! I was in class today talking to my bff. We were walking down the hall to lunch.I was talking about my favorite game plants vs zombies! The lore is actually very coated and detailed! But suddenly my stupid classmates intruded in our conversation! "Hey Y/N, how's it going!?" They taunted me, my bff scrunched her nose in annoyance. "Go away, I'm not dealing with your shit today Claire!" I snapped at her. But little did I notice the air horn Maggie had in her hand, suddenly she blaired it in my right ear! Scarring me shitless, my bff saw me collapse and cover my ears on the floor. She snarled at the tow twits, and began yelling at them, but all I could hear was ringing… my hands and body felt shaky…. My voice began to stutter in mumbles and sounds without illegible words. My bff saw this and knew that moving me would only over stimulate me more! But she sat with me for the whole hour, even though the teacher eventually made us go back to class…
You see, I have autism, and I'm very known for being overstimulated easily in school. Due to the one year I had an attack during a fire drill! You see, sudden loud noises tend to make me over-stimulate… and my classmates think I'm faking it or I'm just crazy! The only real friend I have is my bff, who has OCD! To say the least, the rest of the day was hell! I was fumbling over myself, and put myself into my drawing trying to keep calm. It didn't really help much, but my teachers were understanding. but mostly I just wanted to go home! 
I'm now on my way home walking down the dirt road, the air is crisp and cool. Autumn is in motion and the air feels free with lively energy! As I walk down the lane to the front of the house, i noticed my parents cars weren't in the driveway. Mom must be at work, and dad is probably getting groceries. I walk up the steps to meet the door, inserting the key and turning it with a click. I push the door open with a eary creek, and close it behind me trapping the cool air outside! "HELLO, IM HOOOOME!!!" I yell out to the house my voice, bouncing off the walls. There was no answer, so I sighed and turned to the kitchen tossing my coat off on the kitchen table. I go for the  cabinet, and grab the hot coco mix. I then put some water in the electric kettle, and set it to warm up "tisk tissue tissue, young lady put your jacket away!" I smile softly, but not much. I didn't feel great today… I turn to the direction of the voice, "hi hatty!" Before my eyes he materialized. There stood my favorite ghost with a goofy grin and hatbox in hand. He looked up at me with a smile, but it fell quickly " my dear, why do your eyes seem so sad?" I sighed a beep echoed in the room, I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured the warm water in the mug. Mixing in the hot cocoa packet, I took my first sip and let the flavor take me away from my sorrows… "Y/N?" Hatty asked again and I sighed, placing my cup down on the counter. "Claire and Maggie blew a blow horn in my ear and I got over-stimulated at lunch time.." I silently confessed. His eyes widened, and his face grew with some anger. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry Y/N!" He came over to you scooping you in a cold embrace, you let the tears fall and cried into his chest. He held you like the moment he let go you'd disappear, little did I know he was plotting a great revenge! CLAIRE AND NAGGIE WILL PAY!!" The rest of the night you two spent your time in your room on your bed, cuddling watching markiplier get scared shitless from fnaf jump scares!
Part 2 eventually. I'm very busy with packing "my boyfriend & his fam r moving", and studying the G.E.D. so srry but I promise part 2 will come soon luv yall 🤗💕
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lovingmattysposts · 5 months
Text
My Brother's Best Friend Part 6
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P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12
pairing: y/n and Chris Sturniolo
Summary: you just moved into the sturniolo’s home after some family issues and you’re starting to become attracted to your best friend’s brother and you hated yourself for it. But how could you resist?
warnings: cursing, mentions of family issues,
sorry this took a minute, love yall
xoxo Autumn
Chris pov
"A-Any of it? You don't remember any of it?" She asked looking up at me in almost fear, like she was questioning her own memory. Fuck. I pursed my lips and shook my head slowly, like my brain was rejecting my own response.
She just looked up at me evident hurt plastered on her face, she turned away to hide her expression as she nodded. I just looked down at her opening my mouth to say something but nothing came out.
I saw tears start to pool in her eyes. It felt like a punch in the gut. I'd never seen her cry before. I don't even think Nick has seen her cry. I stepped forwards before she turned without saying anything, basically sprinting towards the front door.
Like she couldn't stand standing in front of me for another second. I looked down, feeling guilt run down my entire body so much it ached.
She told me about what happened with her parents. I know what I said to her, I remembered all of it. It just felt too soon. I don't know. I'm an awful person. She hides her feelings so well, we have that in common. I didn't know my words effected her as they easily slipped off my lips.
I placed my hand on my forehead, before biting my lip and picking my head up letting out a breath.
I couldn't do this again. It wasn't fair to myself. I couldn't do this again.
I didn't meant to hurt her. I just wanted to protect myself. I didn't know meant that me turning into a complete insensitive asshole. That's not who I am and that's all i've been showing her.
"Three days ago I was good enough to kiss, then three seconds later it was just a moment and you don't have any feelings for me, this morning I was a kid, and now I'm pretty?"
I winced at the memory moving through my head. I''ll admit that it was easier to be open with how I feel about her when I was a little drunk. I'm to scared to in person, sober. It was like 15 year old Chris speaking for me while looking at her on the roof, spilling out my thoughts as she looked up at me the way she was.
Then 19 year old Chris woke up and was scared to get hurt again. It wasn't fair to her I get that, but I just wish she knew. But she didn't and she was never going to.
God, I need to burn that notebook. Even drunk seeing her holding it made my heart drop in fear.
I swallowed looking back towards the door.
I knew this would happen. The second she showed up at my front door with a bag the size of her. I knew it. I just hated myself for letting it happen, but not as much as I hated myself seeing her start to cry over my words.
I felt a buzz in my pocket, before sliding out my phone.
From: Elmer
Bro where tf u at?? were about to start
I bit my lip looking back up to the door. Before typing up a reply.
From: Elmer
something came up, i'll catch you later
I sent it before taking a deep breath and turning and walking down the street. I had to make this right.
Y/n pov
Nick sighed running his hands through my hair, as I let out a deep breath. I closed my eyes not my now damp eyelashes brushing my skin. Nick let out a breath.
"Can you tell me what happened?" He asked softly from above me. I went running to Nick's room, due to the fear of Chris bursting through the door to chase after me, newsflash y/n he didn't, but I knew he wouldn't come into Nick's room.
I crying uncontrollably not able to make any words form, just helpless cries. I don't know the last time I cried the way I just did. It might have been a year. Or at least 8 months.
I was like the tip of the iceberg that was already falling over. Just that last final push of being punched in the face by someone I cared about screaming "I don't care and I never did" directly in my face after I let my walls come down.
I let out a breath my cries finally stopping. He just peered down over me. I looked up at him.
"I'm a mess Nick" I breathed. He smiled slightly down at me, making me slightly smiling, then dropping it. I looked down at my hands and peering at the door.
He never came after me. He meant it. He had no idea what happened last night and he didn't see me cry. I swallowed, feeling the familar feeling pass through me like a wave of relazation.
I have to move on, again. Someone hurt me and broke me again. I had let someone gain my trust and they smashed in front of my face, again. How could I be so stupid? So navié. I will never learn.
For the rest of my life I will let someone in and they will burn me. I've never know anything differently. What hurt the most in the dissapointment at myself, was that I told Chris what happened before my best friend.
Chris wasn't the one soothing my cries. Nick was. Chris wasn't the one wiping away my tears. Nick was. I had put my romantic feelings for someone over my friendship with Nick, and I hated myself for it. The worst part was that I was feeling the guilt of the situation Nick had no idea about. Worst of all, It was his fucking brother.
I sighed swallowing, looking up at him.
"I just-" I took a deep breath. "I'm tired of trusting people" I said honestly looking up at him. He nodded. "I get that" He said softly. I closed my eyes.
"I'm not trying to get you to tell me something you don't want to, but did something happen at your mom's?" He asked softly, making my heart clench. Chris didn't have to do anything and I openly told him everything when he didn't ask for it. Nick saying this to me only made me feel like a worse friend.
"My mom kicked me out of the house that's why I came to stay here Nick" I admitted looking up at him. His face didn't wavor and he just nodded looking down at me.
"I just-" I sighed feeling guilty for saying I was crying over my mother when I wasn't. I was crying because his brother punched me in the gut and spit in my face.
"Seeing her, it was just-" I shook my head. He nodded, moving his hand back over my hair. I bit my lip. I hated lying to him. I fucking hated it.
I heard the door start to creek open and my eyes shot to the door, before seeing Matt peeking his head in. I sighed of relief. Matt glanced from Nick to me. He studied my face and I looked away from him, guilt present on my face.
"Is everything okay in here?" He asked his eyes not leaving mine as i avoided is gaze. Nick looked up at him. "Yeah, everything's good" Nick answered for me as I stared at the ground.
Matt shifted on his feet before crossing his arms over his chest. "Y/n, why are you crying?" He asked. I blinked up at him as he stared straight at me. I felt his mind, so much it hurt.
"Matt" Nick said shaking his head. Matt looked from me to him. I sat up sighing. "My mom doesn't love me. Would you like me to alaborate Matthew?" I asked tilting my head at him.
His face dropped and he uncrossed his arms. "Oh uh, I'm sorry i'll just leave you guys be" He said shaking his head and then turning to leave. I sighed laying back down. I'm getting way too good at lying.
I looked over at Nick, who was shaking his head. I smiled over at him.
"Do me a favor" I breathed. He just glanced over at me. "Never let Holton treat you badly" I stated looking at him. His eyebrows furrowed at my statement. He leaned back.
"What does that have to do with anything?" He asked blinking at me. If you only knew. I shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't want anyone to ever hurt you" I said softly, looking down at my hands. He chuckled.
"We've only been on two dates, it's not that serious" He said quietly. I looked up at him smiling. I smiled at him before throwing myself onto him, hugging him. He groaned laughing, holding his arms up, hating physical effection.
"Please don't ever leave me" I whispered laying against him. He reached down patting my head slightly. "There isn't anything you could do to make me go away" He repeated from the other night again. I sighed the guilt slowly eating me alive.
The rest of the night, Nick and I stayed in bed laughing over endless movies and I started to feel better. I knew when I had to come in contact with Chris again, that feeling might change, but for now I was okay. I just needed to not show that he effected me as much as he did.
I don't like guys. I always had too much going on in my own life, guys were the absoutle last thing on my mind. So maybe thats why It happened so fast, because I wasn't used to the feelings of butterflies or wanting a text to come through, or the feeling I got in the pit of my stomach when he flirted with me.
I never ever have caught feelings for someone so quickly with them doing nothing. Showing the bare amount of interest and I was head over heels. Now it was gone. Or at least had to go away.
Starting now there would be no more persuing Christopher Sturniolo. No matter what.
"This bitch has zero common sense" I said lifitng my arm up to the TV. The fifth season of Love Island playing before us. When I didn't hear a response, i turned and looked at him. His eyes were closed with his hand propted behind his head, snoring softly.
I sighed realizing Nick was sound asleep. I leaned over picking up the remote before realizing it was past midnight by now. I clicked off the TV and slowly got up before walking out of the room.
I sighed as I closed the door slowly. This is where I was meant to be. Nick's best friend and not the girl who has feelings for his brother. Or at least trying to not having feelings for.
I closed my eyes before rubbing my eyes and walking over to my room.
No more anxiety because no more feelings for Chris. If anything this would make my life better, not having to worry about my feelings along with the rest of my issues.
I opened my door before turning off the lights and climbing into bed. I needed sleep. I craved sleep. As i closed my eyes I heard my door being swung open and the licks being flipped on.
I sat up and turned towards the door, seeing Chris standing there with a huge bag and then throwing it on the floor. I just stared at him.
"Chris what the fuck are you doing?" I asked glaring up at him. He let out a breath.
"Clothes" He pointed to the bag. I looked down at the bag and then up at him. "What?" I asked shaking my head. He looked down at the bag.
"You're clothes, I got them from your house and a couple books too. I also found some shampoo under your sink if you needed that, I didn't know if you were tired of using our 3-in-1" He said looking over at me. I just blinked at him before standing up and picking up the bag and looking through it.
I looked back up at him as he watched me. “What-What about my mom?” I asked stuttering as I looked at him. How did he go into my house and face my mother?
He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it” he said putting his hands into the pocket of his sweats. I let out a breath, setting down the bag. I glanced over to him.
“Thank you” I smiled. He pressed his lips together and nodded. I just looked at him. No. No. No. y/n.“I’m sorry” he said so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. I swallowed looking down at my hands.
“For what?” My voice hitched, knowing he had more than one thing to apologize for. He sighed stepping forward, making me look at him. He reached up to touch my face, but his hand froze as he put it back down to his sides. He sighed looking down.
“For more than you know” he said looking down at me. I blinked at him feeling the tension in the air, thick and hard. I swallowed aw he looked down at me.
He sighed before turning and starting to walk out. “You’re still the smartest person I’ve ever met” he said turning and looking at me, with a sad smile. My face dropped as the memories from last night came flooding into my brain.
“You're more than enough. You're like the smartest person I've ever met"
I opened my mouth to say something but nothing out. He bit his lip before turning and leaving me alone, again.
I closed my eyes shaking my head before turning and kicking the stupid bag of clothes. I shook my head and put my hands on his head.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to march my ass into his room and smack him so hard in the face. I wanted to tell him to stop messing with me. To stop doing this to me.
He’s stringing me along at a pace I can’t keep up with. I keep getting tripped underneath my feet and then he turned around and picks me back up.
I leaned down picking up a book out of the pile of clothes.
Magnolia parks university by Jessa Hastings
I sighed. My favorite book. I turned towards the door he just walked through. How would he know that? There’s no way he knew that. It was just a coincidence. Right?
-
The next few days were hazy I’m being honest. I attempted to avoid Chris by hiding in my room forcing Nick to bring me food every now and then.
He hasn’t questioned my lack of activity or the lack of being able to get out of bed. He just excepted the fact that I was going through what I was going through and let me be me.
I heard a small knock at my door and set down my phone seeing Nick looking at me with a smile. I raised my eyebrows as I watched him walk over to my bed and lay down beside me.
“You look happy” I said looking down at my smiling best friend. He sighed turning over on his back. “I think I’m gonna ask Holton to be my boyfriend” he said looking up at the ceiling. I sat up.
“Are you sure? I mean you guys have only been going out like a month” I said looking down at him with furrowed eyebrows. He glanced up at me and shrugged. “I don’t know I’ve been thinking about it. I like him and he likes me so why not try it out?” He sighed.
“Nick you are trying it out right now. You’re going on dates that how you see if you want to date someone. Making it official is like a huge step” I said shaking my head. He sat up looking at me.
“I know it’s a huge step y/n, why do you think I’m asking you about it?” He asked looking at me. “I just think it’s too soon, I mean Nick this would be your first boyfriend. Don’t you think you should give it a little more thought? I mean I haven’t even met the guy yet” I asked looking at him. Scared the death that he was gonna get hurt.
His face hardened.
“I told you I have given it thought. I came to you thinking you would support me on this” He glared at me. I sighed really not wanted to fight with him over this.
“Nick I want to support you on this I just don’t want to see you get hurt” I sighed. “That’s life y/n. When you like someone, you go for it and yeah I might get hurt, but I might not. I have to try. If I never went after what I was feeling I would be sitting in my room overthinking everything he’s said to me. I like him y/n. I cant just let that go” he breathed.
“Nick” I sighed. He held up his hands. “No” he shook his head. “Just because you’ve never been in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can stop me from being in one” he said harshly. I let out a breath.
“Nick that’s not fair. That’s not what I’m saying-“ I breathed. He stood up shaking his head. “You’re not in the business to be giving relationship advice when you don’t know the first thing about a relationship” he said above me. I swallowed feeling his words in my chest. Wow that fucking hurt.
“Nick” I sighed looking up at him. He just shook me off. “No I have plans with Holton, and you know what? I am going to ask him to be my boyfriend and he’s gonna say yes” he scoffed before turning and leaving the room.
I sighed leaning my head against my knees. Wow I felt like shit. Nick and I rarely fight and fighting with him right now was the last thing I wanted to do. It was the absolute last thing I needed to be dealing with right now.
I turned over feeling tears come back to my eyes. Now a famailr feeling that I hated. I was so helpless and I hated it. I hated feeling helpless, but that's all that I felt through my body.
I felt like I constantly needed comfort. I have never felt that way in my entire life. I swallowed closing my eyes at the thoughts. I hated myself for what I was about to do, but i didn't know another option.
I picked up my phone.
to: chris sturniolo
are you up?
I sighed closing my eyes already feeling the guilt wash over me again. I blinked down at the phone after a few minutes, seeing no response. God, I shouldn't have sent it. That was such a mistake. I wanted to delete it. No, I wanted to delete myself. Find Nick and apologize.
My phone buzzed. I sat up looking down at it.
from: chris sturniolo
yes why what's up?
I swallowed. I could say never mind. I could just not respond. But we both know that I'm not strong enough to do that.
to: chris sturniolo
can you come in here please?
I bit my lip as I saw the three dots pop up.
from: chris sturniolo
y/n. why
I shook my head, feeling the tears pool again threatend to spill over for what felt like the millienth time today. I was desperate.
to: chris sturniolo
chris please i'm begging.
He typed.
from: chris sturniolo
you don't have to beg, i'm coming
I closed my eyes, leaning back against the headboard as I waited for Chris. A few seconds later he peeked his head in and walked in. His face immediatly softened when he saw my face.
"Hey, what's going on?" He asked quietly as he walked into the door, slowly closing the door behind him. I sighed looking at my lap shaking my head. He walked over to me sitting on the bed next to me.
"Hey, look at me" He whispered. I looked up at him as he scanned my face with his eyes, trying to understand why I was upset. I swallowed and closed my eyes.
"Do you think I'm a bad friend?" I asked quietly blinking my eyes open. He furrowed his eyebrows looking at me. "What?" He asked quietly back. I sighed leaning my head back.
"Do you think I'm a bad friend?" I asked again. Chris stayed silent next to me. I turned my head towards him as he looked at me. "I know that we're not-" I stopped shaking my head.
"But to Nick-" I sighed feeling my eyes swell again. "Hey" He whispered pulling me into him. I let out a shaky breath as he wrapped his arms around me. I breathed in his scent, feeling his embrace.
"I don't think you're a bad friend y/n" He sighed from above me. I glanced up at him. "Don't cry" He whispered wiping under my eyes. I wiped my nose and sighed.
"Nick told me he wanted to ask Holton to be his boyfriend" I explained. I closed my eyes. "And I told him I was worried it was too soon and I didn't want to see him get hurt and he got so mad and-and-" I choked. Chris rubbed my arm with his hands that were around me.
"Hey, hey, hey" He said softly. I looked up at him. "You're not a bad friend. A bad friend would agree with everything he ever said, and you don't. That makes you an amazing friend" He breathed looking down at me. I bit my lip, trying to believe him.
"You're in a senestive place right now y/n, you're not a bad friend. You're just in your head. You know Nick, he's probably just scared and deflecting it onto you. It's not your fault. You just have to let him come to you" He said smiling down at me.
I nodded sitting up, him releasing his arms. I let out a heard breath before wiping the tears from my eyes away. I glanced over at him and he was looking at me.
"I'm sorry, I'm just scared. I can't lose Nick, he's the last person I have left" I sighed shaking my head. Chris paused before nodding slowly. I layed back against the pillows beneath us.
"I feel like i've driven away every person In my life" I shook my head, looking up. "I can't do the same to him" I whispered, glancing at Chris for looking down at me.
"You're parents don't count. Y/n you don't deserve to think that it was your fault they left" He breathed. I just blinked up at him, before furrowing my eyebrows.
"Why did you lie?" I said barley above a whisper. He blinked down at me for a second before sighing and leaning down, laying next to me, crossing his arms over his chest. I just looked at him, as he stared up at the ceiling above us.
"I don't know" He whispered. I just watched him. "I can't tell you" He said looking over at me. I shook my head. "Why not?" I asked feeling like I deserved to know why he hurt me when he didn't have to.
"Because then I'd have to kill you" He said scrunching his nose and then cracking a smile. I rolled my eyes smiling, pushing his shoulder making him chuckle softly. "I hate you" I sighed rolling over and laying on my side looking at him.
He rolled over matching my position as he looked back at me.
"I shouldn't have lied, I'm sorry. It was shitty, I didn't mean to make you cry" He whispered looking at me. I cringed closing my eyes now knowing he saw me start to cry. Embarrassment flooded my body. I blinked my eyes open and he was still looking at me.
"It wasn't you" I lied. "Yes it was" He said back. I bit my lip. "Do you think we could ever be friends?" I asked softly. He blinked at me, as if he were thinking my question over.
"No" He stated. I just looked at him. "I don't think I could ever be just your friend" He whispered. I closed my eyes feeling his response through my entire body. Why was I like this? Why did I do this to myself? Why did I constantly put myself in the same position.
"Y/n"
I opened my eyes, while he just looked at me. "Yeah?" I whispered after a few seconds of silence. He glanced over my face, swallowing. I wasn't going to move, I was waiting for him to. He sighed closing his eyes breifly before leaning over and putting his hand on my cheek pulling my lips to his.
I sighed from relief when our lips finally touched like a breath of fresh air into my lungs. His lips moved over mine slowly as he moved his mouth in accordance to mine. Our lips moved together in an unrushed manner.
I moved my leg over to straddle him, but he pushed my leg down and disconnected his lips from mine, sighing.
“Y/n” he said turning and looking back up at the ceiling. I just stared down at him, not believing he just stopped me. I scoffed shaking my head grabbing his attention. He glanced over at me.
I sat up shaking my head. “Y/n, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-“ he started to speak another excuse of why he fucked up and why he kissed me and why he shouldn’t have, but I wasn’t going to heard it anymore.
“Stop” I held my hand up silencing him. He stopped talking. I peered down at him. “Kiss me or get out” I breathed harshly. His face turned confused as he looked up at me.
“You’ve been doing this to me for a month now Chris and I’m fucking tired of it. You’re spinning me around in circles chasing after something and then you hang it in front of me before just yanking it away” I explained shaking my head. He just listened.
“I’m getting seasick over here” I sighed looking over at him. He bit his lip. “So you don’t have to sit here and apologize for this or that or whatever the fuck you think you need to apologize for, because I’m not really sure you even believe you anymore” I said closing my eyes.
“So I’m not going to sit here and ask you if you like me or if you don’t. I’ve have a hard enough week as it is, so-“ I finsihed looking over at him. He stared up at me.
“Either kiss me. Or get out” I said again not breaking eye contact. He blinked at me for a few seconds before hanging his head. I closed my eyes looking down. Great.
I shook my head as I started to throw the blankets off of me to get up, but I felt him grab my arm, pulling me back over to him, before pinning me below him and hovering over top of me. I stared up at him in shock as he peered down at me with dark eyes.
So dark I couldn’t even see the blue anymore.
“Don’t talk to me like that ever again” he said before grabbing my arms and pinning them above my head and attaching his lips to mine roughly. Leaving me completely helpless under him, not that I was even before he kissed me anyway.
.....did you like the long chapterrr???
tag list: : @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @jjslovely @noelknowsnothing @frankdelrayy @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld
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464 notes · View notes
dennissima · 6 months
Text
Very Closed
Summary:
Aziraphale enjoys reading a book in his bookshop. Alone in the bookshop. But is he really enjoying the time? Without Crowley it is not the same, but he does not want to disturb him because he is always the one who calls him first....
Notes:
It's the second fanfic for me. As Italian, English is not my first language, but I'm trying hard. Feel free to send suggestions for improvements. Feedback is welcome. Fan art too. Thank you for taking the time to read this attempt to spread joy.
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On a warm autumn afternoon, the sun's rays filtered through the large window of the bookshop in the heart of Soho. Aziraphale was enjoying the warmth sitting in his armchair, sipping his cup of tea, with the book he had just finished reading resting on his lap. He was in the grip of the usual feeling of satisfaction at having experienced an exciting adventure mixed with the dismay of having finished the book and not having the heart to start another. He thus floated among the emotions of reading, trying to resist the urge to pick up the phone and call Crowley. He had also called him the day before, to be taken to a new place that had opened a few blocks away and to be watched while he tasted the most exotic things. And he had indulged him. He had also called him the day before, because it was raining and he was worried that he would not be locked inside the Bentley all day, tossing from seat to seat, unable to walk as he liked. He had also called him the day before to tell him that they had been invited to the performance of a theatre company that he had encouraged and financed a few months earlier. Well, the invitation was actually for him, but he had asked for a plus one thinking that Crowley would be interested in the play which, at Aziraphale's suggestion was about a certain devil who, deep down, was really a good person…
So today he had given himself over to reading. He had had a book in his hands for weeks and could no longer go on because, for one reason or another, when he found himself with a glass in his hand together with Crowley, time flew by. Now even the book was finished and he was pondering what he could do with that day. So much time on his hands, so many things he could do and not feel like starting any of them.
As he was thinking about which record to put on the gramophone, he noticed a lady wearing a red scarf in front of the shop window, peering into the bookcase and then walking away at a brisk pace. Shortly afterwards, Aziraphale got up to take the cup back to the kitchen and noticed a young boy in a red cap standing in front of the shop window, who, seeing him get up from his seat, quickly moved away. Suspicious, the angel hurried to turn the CLOSED sign on the door before returning to his post. It could have been a mere coincidence, but if any customers were going to try to enter the bookshop, it was better to take cover. Or maybe he had seen right and there was someone who passed by and looked inside the bookcase and in order not to be conspicuous took on different guises, in order, a distinguished man with a briefcase in his hand and a red tie, a courier with a black uniform and a red logo on one forearm, an elderly lady with a handkerchief on her head. Black with red flowers.
Pretending not to have understood, Aziraphale went to the door, all gloating. He spotted the Bentley parked on the corner and went to wait by the passenger seat.
He did not have to wait long for Crowley to arrive. 'So? Are you going into the bookshop or are you taking me somewhere?" he said, crossing his arms. "You didn't call me…," Crowley seemed to justify himself. "You seemed so… busy reading…" Aziraphale takes him by the arm and drags him towards the bookcase. "Next time you can watch me read sitting on the couch if you like, instead of pacing back and forth." He fumbles with his keys to open the door. "You know you scared me? For a moment I thought all those people wanted to come in and buy something! Please, after you!" Crowley walks through the door, removes his hat, takes off his glasses and sets them down in their usual place. Aziraphale closes the door behind him and turns the sign, VERY CLOSE.
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werdlewrites · 9 months
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Season of the Witch: Allumage
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Chapter Thirty-five: We're Not Alone Here Season Finale!
masterlist-about-ao3-twitter @ djomamma
It's all come down to this! I'm truly grateful for literally any attention this story has received. I've worked hard on it, and while I may never be the best writer, I do deeply enjoy creating new worlds or thinking about the "what if's." Please feel free to follow my Twitter for bullshit, and writing updates (I may also post them here)
Season 2 is already in the works, and I've been contemplating some ideas for other stories. Thank you to @fictionfantom @katiemcrae and @starsforviolet for always being so kind.
summary: A cell filled with shame and guilt holds him hostage, replaying constant reminders of only just this morning. He’s accepted his faults and lets himself become buried in it. Knowing he didn’t deserve the key to open the doors, even though he wished to try. Steve can’t allow himself to hope for Autumn’s comfort - lifting away his grief. Glancing at her to see she’s fully looked away, staring mindlessly out the front window adorning sheer curtains. “Hm,” she hums, cheek tucked away between teeth. He knows that look - that response. It’s a mixture of disapproval, and relief to get the truth. A concoction to leave her in a state of confusion, and silent as she mulls it all over. “Can I ask you a question, now?” warnings: STEVE, STEVE (being a lil pervy.) Moments of soft things. Tension. ptsd flashbacks? Blood, character being drugged, use of gun. It's all poppin' off here my dudes. wc: 8,497
He stands in the halo of light, having taken a few steps back from the door to give an old friend the space she needed. In case she chose to cast him out, or assault him with words left buried from old pain. But there’s something else, isn’t there? Bursting through the front door as screams of helplessness rattled the foundation of the Byers home. She’s just beneath the window, gasping for air and visibly pained - unaware the monster was moving in on its prey. The boy acts before he thinks - the bat held in a tight grip as nails pierce its skin. She was safe then, and even after in his care while others stood in the background, fear shackling them to the floor. He wonders if she remembers that even after his failure as a friend, he would still fight for her. Take another verbal lashing from his social group if it meant she could find some form of peace. But her reaction isn’t entirely what he expects. There’s a small smile of amusement on his lips as he takes in her sleep shirt, hung down to her knees with E.T stitched into the front. Hair still damp with eyes blown wide in shock. “Nice shirt,” he comments, nodding in her direction. The compliment is slow to sink in, gears stuck as they tried to understand what was happening. Autumn leans out the door, head turning every which way in suspicion if he had come alone. Yet nothing but vacant cars lingered in the night, including his own parked just across the street. “Thanks. W-What are you doing here?”
Hands fall to hips, cocked to the side as he tries to force a look of relaxation - though he feels awkward, and under a heavy spotlight full of judgment. A huff of air passes aching lips. “Oh, well.. I was just in the neighborhood,” he offers with a crooked smile. Steve thinks he looks casual, and she doesn’t seem to buy it with the raise of a brow. The boy easily caves under her stare. “Okay, look,” he begins, hands now held out before him as the truth spills forward. “Today was fucked up. Like, so far beyond fucked up.” Her expression seems to ease, eyeing him up and down with every uncomfortable shift in his stance. “And you scared the shit out of me, so. Sue me.” Tired eyes soften, letting her weight fall against the frame with a heavy sigh in a sore chest. The boy refuses to meet her gaze, waiting for the rejection to hit the pavement. Meanwhile, her thoughts are spinning. “Shouldn’t - shouldn’t you be with Nance?” “I was, yeah,” he replies, hand reaching to rest over an aching neck from the sudden stress he endured. “I took her home. But she said she just..really wanted some time alone, y’know?” The teen doesn’t say anything at first, thoughts shifting to the girl with a broken heart, yet strength in her hands as she unleashes her anger on the creature. Revenge fueled her through the battle, only to dissipate in the quiet as reality sinks deep. “I just thought that maybe-” He teeters back and forth, bruised skin slipping between teeth as he reconsiders his offer - too fearful of the uncertain outcome. But how was he meant to go back home, pretending life was fine and the small group hadn’t witnessed hell reaching through their town. Nancy had her family, and so did Jonathan. But the two lost souls had nowhere else to turn. Who else could understand?
“Maybe I could keep you company. Maybe we could keep each other company. I don’t really know how well I can sleep after all of that,” he finishes with a laugh, face hot and chest pounding from the discomfort for taking that large step forward into once familiar territory. And he sees her gaze shift, biting at her cheeks as she ponders in silence. It only adds to the fire burning up his insides, bile threatening to rise up from the depths. Heart shaped lips part to take it all back - to wish her a goodnight as he slumps down the path. But she’s made up her mind, and to his surprise, she steps to the side for access into the lonely home. His movements are timid. Head ducking low to give his thanks as he shuffles across the threshold. It’s just as he remembers - not a single thing shifted or out of place, all routine and cozy. Until the clearing of her throat is heard, guiding attention back in her direction to see her gaze shifting between him and his shoes on freshly cleaned carpet. “Oh, shit,” Steve mumbles, frantically ripping them from his feet. He tries to spare an apologetic look, though distracted by the goosebumps to dance along bare legs. “Aren’t you cold? It’s almost December.” She wears a look of disbelief, a hint of amusement on her lips. “Really? You want t’talk about the weather?” A snort escapes without warning, laying free sneakers with the collection of shoes. “No, not really.”
Her back nestles against the door, stuck and unable to move forward - to live as if this were normal. To accept all that’s happened and push through this discomfort between the two, in hopes to make it easier. Steve seems to notice, placing hands on his sides once more to ask, “You hungry?” Lips pull into a frown as her mind runs the course of memories - when had she last had a proper meal? The sweets he purchased were already fading to leave a void in the pit of her stomach, seeking something - anything. “Starving,” she admits with a huff of laughter, finally pulling herself away from the surface to linger nearby. He claps his hands once, biting at his lower lip before moving through the Reid home, knowing its layout like the back of his hand. “Let’s see what we’ve got, shall we?” “Steve-” she tries to chime in, scoffing as the boy waves her off to pull open the refrigerator doors. It’s like every time before. Riding his bike or taking his car through rain or shine just to bother her - to sift through groceries and devour them as if it were a second home. He used to ask with a polite tone as a child, but with comfort came confidence. Waving at her father in total ignorance as he swallowed another handful of Boo Berry cereal. “Aha!” he cries out in excitement, staring deep into the freezer and rummaging for a neon yellow bag, holding it up in victory. “Pizza rolls!” The doors close and he flips the bag back and forth in his hands, eyes now on her. “Now the only question here is.. Do you want fast food or can you wait like, twenty minutes?” His brow is raised, waiting for her response and finds any nerves he felt prior drift out the window, taking in the smile on her face. “You have that memorized?”
A small frown etches over his features, flipping the bag to study small words with care. “Ten t’sixteen minutes. Whatever, I was close. Now sit your butt down, and let the chef work his magic.”
Autumn can’t fight the roll of her eyes, arms crossed as she moves into the den where they had spent countless hours in. Her exhausted body sinking deep into the sofa, with blankets pulled to rest over her lap. At first, the teen does nothing. Merely watching as the boy digs through cupboards for a pan and sheet to cook on, mumbling something incoherent to himself. Watching his back easily becomes tiring, opting to scan through channels on the television with head resting in her palm. The pictures flash carelessly - too impatient to linger for longer than a few seconds for something to catch her interest. It’s a mindless action - something to consume time and fill her mind with something more than just frightful memories. “Wait, wait,” Steve speaks up, appearing at her side with such stealth she had no idea he was even there. “Go back.” He demands in a soft tone, eyes never leaving the bright screen buried in the dim lighting of the room. The girls face twists in confusion, though doesn’t ask or hesitate to go to the previous channel. Roy Scheider stands disheveled on a beach, the waves crashing up against the shore as seagulls fly high above. “No shit,” Steve blurts out, lips turning upward into a smile while he hastily moves across her sight. “Make room! This is where it gets good,” he grunts as his body collapses into the couch, oblivious to her look of amusement. “It’s the beginning.” “Yeah, exactly.” With the shake of her head and a smile locked in place, she turns the volume up and lets the remote sit between them. She wonders how long it’s been since he last sat here. Since the two of them saw Jaws for the first time, eyes wide in wonder and racing hearts beating in their chests.
Things were different, then. They sat side by side with a bowl of popcorn shared between the two, her father peering in to check on them - not interested in watching it again as it had been out for years. Only now, they were old enough to endure the gruesome details. It’s almost like before. There’s a respectful distance, eyes lighting up with excitement as he watches the scenes unfold. Any commentary remains unspoken, merely basking in the company no matter if it left their fingers curling with tension. But the oven dings, and the two have their own plates. Mouths full and sparing small glances to the other party, overthinking every gesture and what to say. It goes on like this for what seems like forever. Dishes empty and in the sink, her eyes heavy with sleep and barely processing every scream of fear that booms through the box. Suddenly, it all goes dark - a startling act that has her lungs filling with a gasp. “I think it’s time for me t’go,” the boy says, a kind smile hidden in the shadows as he looks to the tired girl, all twisted up in her blanket. It dawns on her then - the inevitable loneliness. Her father had yet to come through the door, and Steve would soon drift away into the night. “Oh,”
Autumn doesn’t know what to say. Mind now alarmingly awake as thoughts race, crashing off of the track to burn. She had met evil. Teeth caught in the flickering light as it tried to tear her down. She could see it in every reflection, along with someone she couldn’t recognize in the chaos. A girl with a mind tearing itself wide open for the unknown to creep through. And in the oncoming silence, it’s a reality she’ll be forced to face. No more distractions to keep her standing tall. “What?” he chuckles. “Nothing.” The boy faces forward, hands clasped between denim clad knees as he mulls it all over, lips pursed before turning back. “I don’t have t’go. I just - I didn’t want to-” “D’you think Nancy would mind?” He sits in surprise, clearly caught off guard by the suggestion. The girl at his side seems equally shocked by her own words as a hand lays over her eyes, embarrassed. “No,” is his quick response. Hoping to ease down the tension. “No, I don’t think she would care. She seems t’like you more than me right now,” he ends in a laugh, watching as that hand falls to peek over the edge, inspecting him for any hint of a lie. But before she’s able to give in, something unexpected passes her lips - something he never truly gave clarity on many hours prior. “What did you do?” At first, he doesn’t seem to catch on - brows furrowed and waiting for more of an explanation. “This morning. I asked why Jonathan hit you.” The words are heavy, tying around ankles like rope to drag him back into the past - skin freshly cut and jaw aching. The hurt in ocean eyes is ever present, a reminder of what a piece of shit he was and still is. "I saw them together," he begins with a sigh. "Nancy and him. I tried t'talk t'you about it, remember? At that diner." There's remorse in his heart and it's heard on his tongue, a shameful gaze avoiding the girl's stare as she too drifts to a time before - when she turned her back on a boy seeking closure. "I don't blame you for leaving. I haven't done shit t'earn your trust back." Autumn can see him no matter the lack of light, watching hands rub together and the hesitation as he prepares for a nasty confession. An admission of guilt that tastes like blood and something rotting. "I didn't do right by her, either. I just - I felt so alone, y'know? Doesn't make it right, but it made me stupid." Steve leans up against the sofa again, fingers gripping at the armrest in anticipation for the verbal lashing. "I let Tommy write shit about her. He graffitied walls, signs - whatever he wanted. I never did it, but I didn't stop him, either."
Fingers fidget and he watches them mindlessly, carving out every detail from a painful memory he wanted to forget. But it's the story to change him - to shift the tides. Bringing him back to the person he was before. "Jonathan was just tryin’ t’help her. I was angry, hurting. I - I just,” “Just?” She chimes in. Voice quiet, nearly drowned out by the heavy words on his lips. But he hears her. Sees her now with arms crossed over E.T, tired eyes locked on him with an unreadable expression. “I wanted him t’hurt like me. I said horrible shit about him, and his family.” Hands fall to rest in his lap, attention pulled away to watch them pick at nails. A cell filled with shame and guilt holds him hostage, replaying constant reminders of only just this morning. He’s accepted his faults and lets himself become buried in it. Knowing he didn’t deserve the key to open the doors, even though he wished to try. Steve can’t allow himself to hope for Autumn’s comfort - lifting away his grief. Glancing at her to see she’s fully looked away, staring mindlessly out the front window adorning sheer curtains. “Hm,” she hums, cheek tucked away between teeth. He knows that look - that response. It’s a mixture of disapproval, and relief to get the truth. A concoction to leave her in a state of confusion, and silent as she mulls it all over. “Can I ask you a question, now?” Something new arises - a nervousness as she looks his way.
“I’m not stupid - well, I’m not that stupid. I got the scoop, yeah? Monsters, illegal lab shit, the Upside Down - whatever.” He’s more animated now - finding freedom with the lack of lecture he was so sure to get. His body twists, one leg curled up onto the couch to face her head on. “I know you. It wasn’t your bullshit ‘natural instincts’” He doesn’t see the way her arms tighten in their hold, shielding herself from his accusations - pulling deeper, hiding further out of sight. Autumn seeks to keep her reality safe by avoiding the issue head on. Steve doesn’t let up.”Y-you just-” he takes pause, snapping his fingers as they come crashing down against the cushion. “It was like..you could see it. Like you saw it before we even could.”
“What is it?” her friend asks, eyes filled with concern as he watches panic fuel her actions. “Somewhere - I don’t know. Not here, but somewhere. Almost like,” there’s a heavy pause with eyes looking towards the window covered in papers - waiting for a silhouette to just pass by it. “hunting. Hunting prey.” “Prey?”
A heavy exhale floods through her nose, averting her gaze once more to avoid his inquisitive stare. Nails digging a little deeper into the flesh of her arms - remembering the feeling of claws working their way through delicate flesh. She thinks of the constant ache as it followed her - not entirely there, but close enough to leave the hairs on the back of her neck standing. She would hold back her nightmares should anyone ask. But he was right - he did know her better than most. "D'you remember when we were kids? With the mirrors?" She shifts in place, knees easily pulled to her chest. "Seeing things that weren't always there." He remembers - of course he does. Sweet eyes filled with tears, sending her into panic before her dad came to get her for the day. The hurt seemed to fade out - making each day easier to endure until it was no longer thought of. "Of course I do. Are you telling me-?" "It's not that I saw it. Not then. It just felt..like you were being watched from every corner. Just something always at your back, y'know?" It's an action without thought - his body inching closer with head dipped low as if to keep a secret. "You've seen it before?" There's some hesitation - another sigh as she surrenders to glimmering eyes full of worry. Her arm is offered out on display, letting him study the mix of colors and fading scabs beneath the heavy night. It’s barely enough to see - but he squints and leans in closer, taking her wrist between his fingers. She ignores the twitch of muscles and the grip tightening ever so slightly, now understanding the meaning behind it all. “You’re serious.” It’s a statement, not a hint of question in his tone. The girl nods in response, though she’s unsure if he takes note. “I found it by accident,” Autumn snorts. But this feigned confidence doesn’t seem to last - lips falling to lay flat, deadpanned as its image flashes before her sight. “Or maybe it found me.”
Steve is left in silence - mind filled with every question and thought, creating a blockade somewhere in the traffic so nothing could slip through. He can only stare, letting her hand slip from his hold as she rips the blankets from now warmed legs. “M’tired.” That was it. She was done with the subject - letting mysteries of the universe evade her grasp, surrendering to long awaited comforts after a long day. A long week for that matter. It all was another problem for another day - or never. “I’m going t’bed,” she states, standing with hands stretched high above her head, letting an aching spine crack in satisfaction. A golden colored gaze is cast away out of politeness - seeing the fabric rise just higher over bare thighs. Though he catches the outline of shorts in the beam of light from the hallway above, saying a silent prayer to himself. “Steve?” “Huh? Y-yeah, what?” She seems quizzical - sparing a hard and long stare as her thumb gestures up the stairs, to which he immediately grabs at a throw pillow to adjust on the couch. “I can sleep here. Maybe stay up late and finish Jaws,” the boy teased. “Uh huh. And have my dad see you like that? I’m in deep enough shit as it is. Let’s go, before I change my mind.” She’s already halfway up the stairs by the time her words fully process. It’s not like they haven’t had sleepovers before. All naive with the night filled with blanket fortresses and board games. Things were different. She couldn’t stand him - and he doesn’t blame her. But maybe all it took was a life threatening encounter with an alien to loosely repair the string that once held them together. Steve is scrambling off of the couch and up the stairs - unwilling to hear the rejection, leaving the two of them alone with their nightmares as they parted.
He laughs awkwardly at her back, swallowing down the nerves like rocks lodged in his throat. All she can do is shake her head dismissively, pushing forward into her room where he stares with wide eyes. He’s mesmerized - studying with hands on his hips. It hadn’t been that long since his last time here - but things had clearly changed. Furniture pushed around to her satisfaction, growing bored by the same view every morning. More greenery in pots and books spilling out onto the floor - well used and no more room for storage. The door clicks shut and she moves around him with ease, digging through a closet in search of what Steve may need. “You’ve definitely expanded,” he says in awe. Leaning forward to investigate jewelry and crystals laid out on the desk. His attention catches sight of something not meant to be seen - something from the past. There’s a sensation to tug and rip at his insides, all twisted up in guilt and something warm like a summer glow. Polaroids decorate the surface of their time at a festival. Smiling and full of stupidity as he crammed a handful of cotton candy in her mouth. But they don’t stand out in the light like the ones pinned to her mirror. Jonathan took his place, even some of Will’s birthday stayed up, holding a cake up to his head for comparison. Steve wasn’t a cherished memory like them, but he wasn’t pushed into the darkness to be forgotten either. “Hey,” he breaks through the silence, a nervous chuckle rattling his chest as he fights through the discomfort of discovering secrets. “What’s goin’ on over here?”
The boy leans across her bed, one knee pushing himself forward while on both hands to study something delicate in her windowsill. A tall stand with a pastel globe just at the top, decorated in gold roses. It’s nearly overflowing with rings and gems, and he’s fighting the urge to pick one up for a better look. “Is this like, some sort of witchy thing?” He questions with a genuine smile. Looking back over his shoulder with intrigue, and some relief she wasn’t scowling at his behavior. She was, however, confused. Standing with blankets folded over arms, the girl lets out a snort before laying out blankets on the floor. Just as she always did with Jonathan. “It’s an ashtray I found at a garage sale.” “Oh.” Steve pulls back as she reaches across the same mattress for a pillow, pushing it into his chest. She doesn’t meet his gaze, instead pulling back her covers to slide inside - and he again, pretends to not notice the legs on display. He turns his back, hands squeezing at the pillow as he whispers to only himself, “Stupid. So stupid-” “What?” Or so he thought. “Nothing! Nothing, just - sore is all,” he excused with a lazy grin, hands fluffing his makeshift bed before he settled in place. Autumn accepts his response, falling back with a heavy sigh and eyes locked on a popcorn ceiling. The stare is long lasting, finding faces formed within patterns to stare back at her. Or the rows of teeth as they searched for a feast. A toy made from flesh and bone. The silence is deafening - memories of its scream bringing her heart rate up into her ears, thunderous and dismissive of blankets shuffling back and forth.
He searches for comfort. Body twisting each way and kicking out his feet until he finds something easy to rest in. His back stretches out along the blanket. Tall and pulling at sore vertebrae with hands tucked beneath his head. He doesn’t hear the creature now - not like her. He can only tumble over his own thoughts as he continues to soak in all that she’s filled her room with - including plants where a leaf hangs dangerously low over his face. He sees laundry - some hung up neatly in a dark closet, while others hang lazily over a hamper. Some things he can recognize - including a familiar patchy sweater. She had worn it for her birthday - he made fun of it then, saying it looked like carpet ripped up from the arcade. But it complimented her eyes, and she found security in its warmth. “Your birthday is comin’ up.” His voice breaks through the quiet - tilting his head her way as he notices the creak in her bed while she shifts. Their eyes meet halfway. Him blissful, in contrast to her more confused expression. “What?” “Your..birthday? I know when you get older, your memory goes, but-” he teases, letting out a huffed laugh as she falls back in the pile, groaning at his casual behavior. “What are we havin’?” He asks, a smile still shining on his face while she continues to push through the barrier of confusing feelings. “Cookies N’ Cream? Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” Autumn is suddenly up again, reaching for the light at her bedside to catapult them into darkness - to end his rambling. “Goodnight, Steve,” she offers with a sigh, wrapping herself in a cocoon he can no longer see. “Night, Autumn. Let me know if you need anything.”
He’s there - holding out his hand should she need to take it. To seek support after a long day uncovering the unholy beings. Someone to carry the weight she selfishly held onto. But Steve has his own baggage to work through. To unpack, organize and understand. Coming to terms with it all. So, buried beneath the night with only the moon to cast a gentle glow, she gives back. “You too, Steve.”
It takes too long to give in to the exhaustion. Eyes are heavy, body weak and aching with every breath. And yet..despite the comfort of soft pillows and warm blankets, they still toss back and forth. Despite the security they held silent praise for now that they weren’t alone, still left them looking to the corners in fear of what could linger. Steve wants to sleep - he’s tried. Eyes glancing to her bed, captured by the glow of midnight. He waits until her movement stops - until gentle breaths fill the shared space. The boy finally surrenders now knowing she felt safe enough to rest. Their gentle snores blend to create a lullaby to keep them locked away in a place of dreams. Or, something made from nothingness. Too far gone to create a world where everything they desired was merely at their fingertips. It was a dark curtain to embrace and weigh them down. An anchor in the abyss. Those chains begin to rattle and wear down. Rusted and shattering. It has the girl stretching out tall beneath covers, foot jumping back as it graces the cold metal of the frame. A light forces its way through closed eyes, prying them open little by little until the girl makes out a fuzzy reading in red; “4:09AM.” Autumn wants to groan - wants to get angry over a disrupted sleep. But the sound of blissful slumber just nearby keeps her still, and quiet. She lets her gaze wander - vision clearing slightly as knuckles rub against deprived eyes. And for a moment, she thinks it’s all an illusion - a trick of the mind as a glow creeps in through the barely opened door of her room. Dim, yet bright enough to pull her attention towards it.
They weren’t alone anymore.
Had her father recognized Steve’s car across the way? Would he be suspicious? Had he already seen through the break and found the sleeping boy on her floor? She could only imagine what he would say - if anything at all. She chooses not to wait until morning to find out. The blankets are pushed back and she’s cautiously tiptoeing across the way - avoiding long limbs and pausing as he mumbles in the quiet. She takes care in pulling the door back - letting her body act as a shield to cover his face from the light. And she’s left frozen for only a moment, struggling to take in the sight of his office door cracked open. The work and silenced phone calls made in this room were a well kept secret. She would ask, and he would answer, “It’s boring, really. Work documents, organizing shipments-” His words became mumbles as she lost interest. Until the girl began to consider the Dream Project tucked away in filing cabinets, leaving her to stare at the closed off room. In this moment, she doesn’t call out to him - listening for movement inside as she takes slow steps forward. He would hear her with the creak of the floorboards, yet he doesn't acknowledge his daughter's presence by hastily slamming the door shut. Had things shifted since their argument? Was he welcoming her into a world she didn’t truly understand?
There’s hesitance as her hands lay against the wood, easing it back to reveal inch by inch. A neatly kept desk with files stacked over one another, a glass paperweight to hold them down. A fake tree gifted as a fathers day present is still standing tall in the corner, clean of dust. She had only ever been able to glance inside this room - telling Ian it was lifeless yet knowing they didn’t share her green thumb. There’s a black coat laid out over the back of his chair, and a shadow against the wall. He’s tall - full of confidence to stand where her father should have been. His hand pushed against the cabinet drawer with a gentle thud, before turning to meet frightened eyes in the doorway. Unshaken by the presence, like he had been expecting her. The man's smile is warm, like the light dancing across his features. But blue eyes hold ill intent, and trickery - the same as hours before when they crossed paths in the yard. He captures her the moment the connection is made. A girl held hostage in her own home - unable to shake away the invisible restraints to hold her. Mind and body consumed by fear as hands dig through cluttered memories in search of something lost. Something familiar yet just out of touch. Buried with a purpose.
“Good morning.” Words drift through the tense air, sweeping through the girl where those same words echo. It’s a projection - a scene unfolding in hazy flashes in the corners of her mind where the stranger offers kindness. A gentle touch of reassurance to run along the flesh of a child's cheek. She feels it even now, though cold. A ghost from another life.
Another life.
Someone else’s life.
But it shifts and sways with every second. White walls and brilliant lights shining down on a much smaller hand tucked away inside a guardian's hold. A man made from money, and power. His suit was stitched from linen and wool, ironed perfectly with the morning's cologne blossoming inside the threads. He smiles down to the child - to her. It’s a different smile compared to the one he shares in the small room. Less apprehension, and filled with pride. Her hands tighten into fists at her sides - witnessing it cling tighter onto him as nerves build in her chest. It’s filling to the brink, pushing out every breath until no room is left. He can see the world she knows collapse in on itself. A structure unfolding to reveal secrets pushed down into the darkest depths. He studies wide eyes glossed over with tears, just barely at the surface as she struggles to make sense of it all. The dam is breaking. A rush of violence against sturdy walls, and all she can do is watch the destruction it brings. He can’t imagine the sights to play out in her mind, but knows it’s pulling the girl into madness. Forced to swim in an endless ocean, or drown in her denial. He acts on patience, no matter how thin it now was. “I’m sorry,”
A click around a child’s neck - like the slam of a prison door. Controlled, and contained. Shaken hands reach to feel the smooth surface of a collar, prods imbedding deep into flesh. Innocent eyes are filled with sorrow - finding a familiar man kneeling down to their level with hands squeezing small arms. It’s meant for reassurance, but uncertain for who. “Doing this brings me no joy. I hate to see you suffer,” his words sway like a delicate breeze, only meant for the two of them to hear as they continue to pout and plead in silence. “You must learn.” He stands, hands pressed against his thighs for better support. A strong back is all the child sees as he turns away, heading towards an opening. Unaware once sweet eyes fall into a glare, unwavering as the door slams shut to lock them away.
He takes his time. Long legs carrying him towards her fathers desk, hands tucked deep into pockets with his attention falling to the work laid out on varnished wood. “I know I must frighten you. To you, I’m only a stranger.” The paperweight is placed off to the side - such care in his movements that it hardly makes a noise as it settles at the desk. The silence stretches on, biding his time and waiting for every word to push through any remaining blockade she had made. What they had made. She doesn’t move, and he analyzes the paperwork and inked scribbles across each line before flipping their covers back over. A heavy sigh floats through tension. “I wish things were different.”
A cry echoes through the halls. Wailing, screaming as legs kick and arms reach to grab at stronger hands to hold them. Nails rip across the exposed flesh of hands, giving the child momentary freedom before another body fills the empty space. The hold is more firm, and they move just a little faster. “No!” Double doors part at the child’s back, making way for the nightmare to come. It’s visible just over their shoulder - a chair bound in leather with straps to hang loose. And it’s coming closer - the chilled material meeting the back of their knees before a final attempt is made. “No!” The tiles of white walls rattle and shatter. Bodies pressed with force up against the structure, others laid flat over the shimmering floor, fighting the whiplash and stolen breath. Now set loose, the child runs without a second look at the men and women to carve out their path. Just beyond the doors, a look of sympathy keeps the child deadlocked. Once a hero, now the villain. A man to give shelter, a purpose, before stripping away a sense of self with tests and punishments. Promises of life, love, and security seemed far from reach as a needle worked its way deep into the skin. “I wish it were different.” His voice carries like an echo down the hall, watching as a small body fueled by strength, and anger, is weakened. Broken down into nothing.
Thin lips part to speak, lungs filled with vile words wrapped in what he believes to be kindness. It’s all bullshit. The shadow that follows him is as present as ever, working to hide his demons. “Get the fuck out of my house.” Autumn can feel nails digging into her own palm, heartbeat racing faster now that she’s released a held breath. The man doesn’t fumble - doesn’t flinch back or seek shelter from her anger. His lips merely twitch, holding that same expression as only moments ago. “Just as I remember. You’re taller, of course,” There’s a light chuckle to rumble within his chest, making light of the moment and hoping to ease her panic. To gain trust. But she’s lost in stormy waves, breaking through the darkness to gasp for air as she’s pushed back down into the void. She can hardly see the room she stands in. Only collisions of familiarity, and confusion as she watches the child move through a room made of rainbows and shocking white.
Rainbows.
He takes a cautious step forward, finding some form of comfort in seeing her posture relax. Fingers now hung loose against her thighs, with shoulders slouched. The girl's eyes were vacant, glossed over and peering right through him into another world. Another time. She can barely keep up as it spins out of control. He wonders if she even knows he’s there anymore, only ghosts to one another to pass in the night. But one wrong step leaves wood to creak beneath his shoes, and it's as though the curtain is pulled back to reveal looming danger. “Don’t,” she warns. A simple word creates a wall - a barrier between a stranger and the girl. Together, they collide. The unseen force crashes into him until long legs stumble backwards, arms held out in search of support. Silver hair is a little more tousled than a moment before - windswept. He doesn’t seem to mind in the moment, too focused on the pressure that holds him at bay - waiting with impatience for it to falter. The man's smile is a little wider - a little more hopeful despite the threat against him. Despite all she could do in this small room, even without the comprehension of how far she could truly go. “Don’t let it control you.”
Red. It’s the color of anger, pulsating within a child's glare that’s locked on a young boy and the few friends that come to his aid. It’s the first color of the rainbow which she stands over, bare feet firmly planted on the cold tile. Unflinching, unwavering no matter the disruption all around. It’s the color of blood, rising up to fill the skin with pigment - veins nearly bursting from tension. The blood drips from opened wounds, now decorating the once perfectly polished floor. Dripping from their nose to sink into angelic fabric, now soaked and stained. Clear evidence from a short lived battle. The boy is standing, eyes heavy with frustration soon settling into something more somber, looking beyond his assailant to the man in an all too familiar suit. “Do you see what she did?” The boy's voice cracks as he calls out to the taller figure, attention shifting between him and the child to stand in his way. A girl that merely defends herself against one too many verbal and physical assaults - pushed to the edge. “She attacked me! She’s crazy!” The stare holds, undisturbed by the presence just at her back - a heavy shadow that brings safety, and fear all the same. “Go to your room, Two. Same for the rest of you.” Disbelief comes washing in, a violent wave to shake the child in place and discard any hope he held to have the girl locked away in confinement. Out of his sight, and out of his space. “But-” “Go. I’ll have someone take you to medical.” It’s a final warning, it’s evident in his tone. Stern, yet filled with something compassionate - every word filled with traces of sympathy. Two appeared dejected, shoulders fallen and head hung low to avoid any more eye contact. Though he spares an unsettling glance her way as they pass in the room, and she does well to follow his every motion until he’s moved beyond double doors. Her focus is only redirected as pale fingers tug at the collar of her gown, tutting in disapproval with a heavy sigh to follow. “We need to work harder, don’t we.” It’s a certainty - never posed as a question to ask as he slowly sinks to her level, hands fallen between aching knees. “You can’t let it control you.”
A jagged breath escapes her chest - taking with it any remaining strength she clung to. Now weak in the knees, with a body up against the doorframe. Tears held back are now set free - cascading over cheeks to vanish in her neckline. She can see the girl through the large mirror where the boy once stood, as if a connection had been made. It’s brief - quick enough to miss if you hadn’t paid close attention, but long enough to see familiar eyes just before they trail after this boy named Two. “I don’t understand.” She can see steel doors - nearly bolted shut and refusing to give way as she rips at the door handle. “002” boldly pressed into the surface - an eerie silence beyond the barrier, forcing her to surrender and continue on looking for Will. “I-I don’t-” “Of course you don’t.” His voice is soft, warm and filled with kindness. The comfort it brought was something familiar - just at her fingertips before ripping her hand away to ignore. Encouraged, the man moves with care - testing each step for a sudden reaction now that the force has fallen. “It’s been so long. You’ve grown - changed.” “Two,” is all that falls past her lips - barely above a whisper. Light as a feather to dance in the still air, but the meaning with it is weighted, leaving the name to collapse at their feet. “Good,” it’s a choked out response. A forced smile as he remembers the sight of his body laid out, adorned in his own blood. A cherished soul gone, like all of them. “You remember.” “N-no. No-” He’s close now, every breath felt against her skin and she trembles under his stare, unable to shake away the fright as it pierces through her chest.
He reaches and she finally stills - zeroed in on his hand as it moves in closer. There’s a tender touch to wipe away her tears, brows turned down in dissatisfaction once she flinches away. “You carry a heavy burden, don’t you? Yet, you don’t truly know what it is.” Stained with her sadness, that same hand falls to seek shelter in his pocket. Autumn doesn’t take note of the way it balls into a fist inside the fabric. “No one can understand, can they? Things never meant to be seen - or done. The sacrifices made. I know how much you’ve struggled.” The girl's heart is racing - a pounding ready to break free from confinement, killing her on the spot. Its force makes every breath unsteady, vision a little hazy. But the tears are slow to stop - skin now tight, with a gaze quickly cast to the side to check for a clear exit. He doesn’t seem to notice the sudden shift in the air. “I understand. I can help you, if you let me.” There’s a moment of silence, deep enough to hear each breath and thud of hearts - his more calm and contained while she runs rampant. Then, a shuffle across the floor - a small collision down the hall as a boy muttered, “Shit, shit-” There’s a hiss through gritted teeth, groaning before he pushes the pain to the back of his mind. “Autumn?” He calls out, finding her bed empty and the worry instantly takes hold. He’s unseen in the shadows - yet inching closer and his presence holds their attention. A new fear begins to brew. “Steve,”
Something hot - scorching like lava enters her veins the moment she’s distracted. Sweet smiles are long gone now that she’s fallen into his grasp. The safety pin from a grenade has been pulled and he knows he should regret it. The filing cabinets rattle against the wall, creating holes where they rested as their contents flutter through the air. The desk is toppled over, his legs tripping over its smooth edges, sending him tumbling down where the fake plant lays. Glass shatters - everywhere. The destructive force goes off like a bomb, shaking the foundation and sweeping down the halls, taking everyone with it. All but her. She’s out of the room the moment the stranger is gone from her reach - her only focus being Steve, as he lays out on the carpeted floor with pain in his eyes and ringing in ears. “What was-?” There’s no time wasted - no time coddling his wounds or giving an explanation as the boy is ripped up from the floor, hands tightly locked. “Autumn, what-” They move together through the home with haste, leaping over fallen photographs and ignoring the blood in the pads of their feet. She’s still pulling with an unapologetic strength - freedom just in sight though drenched in shadows. Dark figures in the distance move in waves, a light sensation tickling against her chest as her skin becomes hot. The girl is losing all sensation, and her world is spiraling as though she had drunk the foulest tasting poison. A foot slips and it sends her tumbling into the step below - body heavy and clung to the railing for support. She can barely feel the chilled wood against her skin, or see the face of a boy as he kneels before her - hands cupping an expressionless face. Steve calls out her name, before drifting to the second floor where a man stands in the halo of light. A cloth is held to the corner of his mouth, dabbing away at the blood to fall from a split lip.
Autumn follows his focus, though struggling to do so as every muscle begins to harden into lead. But the danger is still there, and she’s got someone to protect. So as he makes the move to the first step, she nearly throws herself down the rest of the way - Steve now leading through the dark. She can feel the grip he has on her - tight, and desperate. But the boy slips away, hands left empty as her body finally gives in to the pressure it can no longer support. The weight of the world rests against her back - crushing Autumn deeper into the earth, stealing away her life, and forcing her into the abyss of death. “Come on!” The girl can feel his breath, words panicked into her ear as he tries to carry her. There’s an attempt in telling him to run - to go. Mumbled and buried beneath his frustrated grunts that soon drift into nothing, leaving him alone and in danger. Steve sees that her eyes have closed, and that familiar dread settles in as the man moves in closer. There’s no time to check for a pulse - no time to worry about the shards embedded deep into their skin. He stands, groaning in pain and nearly limping towards the front door - making a plan to run for his own car down the road, no matter the hurt. And without warning, the exit seems to make way for them - though rather than seeing the glimmer of fading stars, he faces the barrel of a gun. Eyes widen in surprise as they spot one another, Steve stumbling backwards until he takes in the familiar sight of Hopper. Shoulders tight, arms held strong and finger ready on the trigger - a man on a mission and not once faltering. “Get t’my truck,” he orders, stare striking enough to hold the man in place at the foot of the stairs. “Get moving, Harrington.” Steve spares cautious glances to the Chief and just across the room, before slipping his way past and racing out across the lawn.
It had only been hours since the two men last spoke. An exchange of words, and a hesitant deal lingering in the stale air of a familiar black car. Will had been saved, and it was his turn to keep everyone in line now that the fog had cleared. Say nothing, do as told - all for the sake of life. But now, standing here in the dim living space of the Reid residence, all of those promises begin to fade out into a blur of nonsense. “I thought I was done looking at your ugly face,” Hopper coldly states, focus and gun still directed to the center of his torso, waiting for that wrong move to be made. Dr. Brenner’s chest rattles with a small chuckle, that same cloth wiping along sore lips before it’s folded, tucked away out of sight. “I’ve come to bring her home.” “She is home.” Jim Hopper was no fool. Hearing the impossible stories of a girl he kept under a watchful eye, and comparing them all to the child named Eleven. They shared the same solemn expression - eyes distant, haunted by something dark and unspoken. That girl was gone - ripped from the threads of reality before their very eyes. Lost to them forever. Autumn was still here, and he was going to fight like hell to keep it that way. “So you all believe,” Brenner comments. “I know differently, and I suspect she does as well.” “Cut the bullshit, Brenner,” Hopper advances, remaining just out of his reach yet close enough to guarantee a fatal shot. “You and Ian in on this, huh? Whatever the hell this is.” The man says nothing, remaining calm no matter death staring him in the face. But his silence confirms what Hopper already knew. “She’s not going anywhere with you, and she’s not staying here. You think I wouldn’t look? Look at all of his blank files? Ian Reid doesn’t exist, and neither does she. I thought you would have tried a little harder. Tried t’hide the fact that she’s not his daughter, and she sure as shit isn’t yours.”
It’s the first time he sees that confidence sway. His fake pleasantries now buried beneath a small scowl, biting at his tongue to contain this new anger as it boils and scars him. “Fuck your deal. If I see you, or any of your pals so much as even look at her, just know, I’ve got a bullet for every one of you. And I’ll make sure everyone knows about your little secret.” The gun is finally lowered, feet carrying his tired form towards the wide open door, without breaking the connection they held. Intense stares hold threats, piercing and ready for the kill. Brenner does not chase, does not argue across the growing distance. He simply watches with disdain as Autumn slips from his hold, the door slamming shut to seal him off from further reaching out for her.
Dr. Brenner is many things. He is loving, filled with encouragement and curiosity. He’s a man of power, standing tall above the rest as they work around his demands. Someone filled with grief at the loss of his world - his everything. A monster filled with anger, and disappointment at every failure in trying to build it from the ground up.
But above all else, Dr. Brenner is patient.
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touhoutivations · 9 months
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ghost anon here - thank you again for the reassurance, i appreciate it. writing in again because i've got a crow tengu friend who's moving to an entirely new place and theyve been crazy stressed out about it - maybe a fellow reporter could weigh in about changing surroundings?
"Ayayaya, a new place hm?  That's always a tricky thing, whether you planned it or not- at least with me, I know I've had a few times where I've gotten my cove torched and had to…rebrand as it were, aha~" "I guess it comes down to how you feel about old and new stuff. Some need to cling to the time you have, some feel like it's some…doomsday clock- some throw themselves into the new, or some feel like it's invasive. It's hard to determine whether you're ready or what works. Whatever it is, I want you to know that whatever you feel- even if it's a contradictory whirlwind, is okay."  
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"Depending on how convenient it is- I think what would be helpful is to find homes away from your house. Whether that's near your future place, or near a workspace or somewhere else you frequent- try finding places that make you feel cozy and comfortable. Bonus points if they have flexible hours or they're public services that you don't have to spend money with."
"You have a nice tea place nearby? Try that item you always think about but never get- even if it's not that great, opening yourself up to change on your own terms can be helpful. Get comfortable, and ease yourself into experimentation and investigation! "
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"I sometimes think back to an old case I had with the doll on Nameless Hill. Where I offered her a soapbox about her whole 'doll liberation' thing. The results were as varied as they were catastrophic. Humans were devastated and tried to get their old dolls back, even if they got poisoned, some kids felt scared to let things go because they didn’t want to hurt them or get hurt if they became tsukumogami, some relived nice times, some painful scars… I got into a bunch of trouble up top for it. And Miss Melancholy wasn't happy because both doll and human felt chained to each other…
But oddly enough, the one that fixed the issue was the Misfortune Goddess. She wanted to try 'update' the old Nagashi festival, since the yamawaro were getting frustrated that dolls kept stockpiling- which, yeah- if I was a doll I'd be sad about if I got chucked in a river. So…Hina suggested 'recycling' that misfortune into fortune, transferring the memories and care you felt to another child- who would make something special with that doll, to so on and so forth. Thanking it for the time and company that it occupied, allowing a civil dismissal, and not feeling all gloomy and weighty.
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…Miss Melancholy hated it at first. She thought it was just 'shoving the problem onto someone else- and why am I seen as a problem anyway-' but…seeing a girl get an older doll from an elder, seeing the two of them stitch new clothes for her and repaint her faded eyes…I never knew dolls could cry but…yeah. And writing that article with Kagiyama's assistance…yes, it truly was one of my prouder moments as a journalist. …It really was, and I yearn for another masterpiece like that…ah-"
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"I'm getting off track here, but I mean that everyone has their own thoughts, feelings and journey about change- and it's going to take some time, even if you know the 'perfect' way to handle it. Be patient with yourself, that's the one thing you'll always be travelling with- ahaha~ But being able to find little gaps of happiness, a fantastical scoop anywhere you go- even if it's a lone autumn leaf on the road- you'll find many more homes to report to!"
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violettduchess · 2 years
Note
Hey Violet! Thanks for taking my request! 😄 Here's my idea:
IkePri Suitor & Fem!Reader who is nonchalant about her feelings on the outside but actually really loves the suitor and is scared to tell him, but ends up having an, "Idiot I'm in love with you!" explosive moment. Can be with any of the Suitors you see fit!
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A/N: This was written before Luke's route was released! I am currently reading it now (only on Ch 4) but I know its not canon. I hope it's still enjoyable anyway!
Fluff and first kisses
Word count: 1592
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There is nothing quite like the forest in autumn. The greens of summer melt away and Mother Nature, sensing the impending gray of winter, has the chance at one last hurrah. So she throws caution to the wind, whipping out every manner of red and gold and yellow and orange, dazzling the eye and heart with a cavalcade of colors. 
You would enjoy them, if you could. But right now, that is impossible. Not when you are crunching your way over leaves which nefariously hide tree roots and dips in the ground, muttering to yourself about lazy princes and warnings and how much better it would be if you were drinking hot chocolate instead of trudging through the woods.
Of course Luke wasn’t at the meeting Sariel called about the upcoming ball. Of course not. Why would that man ever attend something he was supposed to?
Clutching your brown suede bag closer to your body, you continue onward, past the pond towards the spot you know the young prince favors. 
You pause under the copse of trees, preening in their autumnal glory. For a moment, you’re distracted by the sun shining through the leaves, illuminating them like stained glass. It’s beauty that you could lose yourself in…..if you weren’t on a mission.
Squinting, you turn a slow circle, shielding your eyes as you search the tree branches until….there it is. A singular long leg, sheathed in dark leather pants and a high brown boot, dangling from a tree limb impossibly high above you. You follow the line of that supine body, curved against the trunk of the tree like a babe cuddled against its parent. His arms are crossed loosely across his broad chest, chin drooped down in slumber. His red hair damn near blends in with all the leaves surrounding him in his ridiculous sleeping spot.
Cupping your hands around your mouth, you yell. “Luke!!”
The long leg doesn’t move. You narrow your eyes. Drawing in a deep breath, you try again, forcing as much volume out of your body as you can.
“LUKE!!”
The leg twitches and then begins to fall, bringing the rest of the lanky body down with it.
You flinch as Luke Randolph, the eighth prince of Rhodolite, tumbles through grasping tree branches to the forest floor where he lands with a loud thud.
“Luke!“ You rush to his side as he pushes himself up with a groan, one large hand reaching up to cup the back of his head. He’s a mess of scratches, one particularly bad one already dripping blood down his left cheek like red paint down a canvas. 
“I’m fine, I’m fine!” He bats your hands away as he stands up slowly, stretching out his limbs experimentally. You have to tilt your head up to look at him since he towers over you, a sequoia standing next to a tiny, aggravated shrub.
“You most certainly are not fine.” You take in the scratches, his cheek, the red areas that will blossom into purple and blue bruises. Poor thing. Your heart frowns at the sight and you feel the impulse to hug him suddenly shoot through you, willing you forward.Your muscles contract, ready, but your mind sounds out the alarm, stopping you in your tracks. What was this? Hug Luke? Why would you even think that? 
You shake your head, clearing out those odd, little butterfly-shaped thoughts.  
“You’re a mess and that cheek looks bad. Come on.” You turn on your heel, marching off in the direction of the lake. You hear his lumbering footsteps behind you and can’t help the small smile on your lips. Luke is not one for subtlety. 
After a few minutes, you make your way down the slope to where the cool lake water meets the grass. A large, flat rock provides you both with the perfect place to sit. Now you finally have a moment to look at him, really look. His green eyes, the color of fresh basil, are downcast, embarrassed to meet your gaze. The other scratches from his descent are minor, the same little puffed ridges made by an artist using a palette knife on a canvas, but the cut on his cheek is still weeping red, angry at the world for being born.
You open your bag, rifling around until you find the white handkerchief embroidered with tiny red roses.  It had been a gift from Leon, welcoming you to the palace. Now you dip it into the cold water, then raise it to Luke’s cheek. He jerks away and you automatically grab his face with your other hand, keeping a firm hold on his chin.
“We wouldn’t have to be doing this if you hadn’t shirked your duties. Again.”  
Annoyance, that's a good thing to focus on. It dances around your mind like a court jester, distracting you from the feel of his face in your hand, the strong line of his jaw, the smoothness of his skin. 
“Those meetings are pointless,” he mutters. He speaks softly, his low voice brushing against you, winding itself around you, soft and seeking. You swallow down the jolt of attraction that ripples through you.
“You have a duty to attend them!” 
Your own voice is tight, edging toward a higher pitch than usual. You breathe out, trying to focus on cleaning the wound on his cheek. Luke raises his gaze to watch you. If you had been walking, you would have stumbled. If you had been dreaming, you would have been startled into waking. His eyes, warm and soft as the rolling hills of springtime, are now locked onto yours. Your heart does a somersault in your chest. Your mind begins setting up barriers everywhere, trying to contain it.
You pull away to dip the cloth in the water once again, rinsing it out, trying to steady yourself while passion and reason prepare for battle. When you look up again, he is tapping at the wound with his fingertips, probing it.
“Stop that!” You react without thinking, smacking his hand away and he winces, a frown settling over his handsome face.
“Hey! You didn’t have to do that!”
Your fingers curl around the handkerchief, balling it up as if you could use it as ammunition. 
“Yes I did! You’re making it dirty again after I just cleaned it. This is what I mean, Luke, you just...do things without thinking of the consequences! You miss meetings and you miss events and you disappear without telling people! You take naps everywhere. You just can’t DO things like this when you are a prince of Rhodolite!”
He shakes his head, his red hair catching the sunlight and drinking it in. 
“Because none of those things matter! There are SEVEN other princes around to handle stuff like that! I don’t have to be there! I don’t WANT to be!” 
There’s a pause as he runs a hand through his sunset hair, frustration woven through every gesture. “Besides, why do you even care so much anyway? Why are you always so annoyed?”
You feel your teeth clenching, your heart a battering ram against the walls your mind has constructed, thoughts flying around in a dizzying array of pops and whistles and bangs.
“Because I know you can be better than that!”
Luke’s eyes narrow. “No I can’t!” His voice rises in volume as he straightens out his long body.
“Yes you can! I know it!” You can’t help it, your voice rises in pitch, your blood now storming through your veins, your heart leading the charge. 
“How? How do you know?!”
“Because I love you, you idiot!” 
Your heart screams in victory as the words fly out of your mouth. Rational thought is left behind, waving a tiny white flag of surrender.
His jaw drops and you are almost certain your expression is as graceful. 
You…love…Luke?!
You love Luke.
You love Luke!!!
A small laugh escapes you. And then another. And another. Soon you can’t stop yourself. Your heart has tipped its hand and every bit of affection and desire and friendship and attraction and frustration and admiration you have ever felt for him is pouring out of you like liquid sunshine. 
Your laughter filling the crisp autumn air pulls Luke out of his stunned stupor. He begins to laugh with you, his hands reaching out to take one of yours between them. He lifts it to his lips, his kiss sweet and welcoming. You reach out again, cupping his face in your hand, gently, almost shyly. 
“Say something,” you command. You feel wobbly inside, like a spinning top slowing its rotation.
He leans close to you, his gaze darting over the planes of your face like he can’t find one place to settle, it’s all so exciting and new and beautiful. Your hand still held between his, he brings his face mere inches from yours.
“Something.”
This man. You open your mouth to protest, to tell him now isn’t the time for such nonsense, but he doesn’t allow you to protest. You can’t even say a word. Because Luke Randolph, eighth prince of Rhodolite has gathered you into his arms and is kissing you with lips as gentle and sweet as the honey he so treasures. 
The handkerchief falls from your hand as you reach to return his embrace, landing in the cool lake water without a sound. Slowly, it floats away from the two figures on the rock, who are so wrapped up in each other’s arms, they'll never even notice it's gone.
🍯
Tagging: @aquagirl1978 @atelieredux @alixennial @alexxavicry @queengiuliettafirstlady @rhodolitesroseforclavis @somekidnamedkai @ikemen-prince-writers-posts @bellerose-arcana @thewitchofbooks @ikehoe @redheadkittys @themysticalbeing @queen-dahlia @moonstruck-writing
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hellfiredup · 1 year
Text
Bite Me - Eddie Munson
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"Are you sure this is okay?" he asks, slowly following behind you. You grab his wrist and pull him a little closer, closing the door so that you're both tucked into your tiny dorm room.
"She's gone for the weekend," you reply, kissing him again. He's not used to people being so forward with him. Or being invited back to girls' rooms. Or being kissed like that.
When you pull away, Eddie's eyes are wide, looking at you like he's just seen a ghost. He lets a sigh fill his cheeks and lets it out slowly, raking his fingers through his hair and taking in the view before him. You're in your Halloween costume—a cute little dress with thigh-high tights and black boots.
He had struck up a conversation with you because you seemed nice... and he had caught you staring at him a couple of times. The party was small, with only about fifteen people. But the dorms were not made for hosting more than about four people at once, so it felt crowded and cramped. The boxed wine was blackening the teeth of the people around you, and you giggled as your drunk friends danced with each other on the carpet.
You were sitting on Nancy's bed, legs dangling off the edge, glass bottle of cider in hand (for fuck's sake, it was Autumn, after all), when he walked up to you.
"I like your costume," he said shyly. You glanced down, noticing your own cleavage and exposed thighs. You chuckled and looked back up at him knowingly.
"Thanks."
He would have laughed with you if he wasn't so scared shitless. He bit his bottom lip, looking off to the side, debating if he should leave while he was ahead. You haven't fucked it up yet. Best to head out before you make it weir-
"Who are you supposed to be?"
He slowly turned his head to look back at you. You looked up into his eyes, waiting for an answer. His lips parted at the sight.
"Vampire."
That sent you into a fit of giggles.
"I'm a vampire," he corrected, right hand pulling down the collar of his shirt a bit to show the two red dots he had painted on himself. He wore a black button-down shirt, black pants, and black shoes.
"Where are your fangs?" you asked, tilting your head to check out the two little dots that he was clearly very proud of.
"It's impossible to drink with these shits in my mouth," he replied, pulling a plastic pair of fangs out of his pocket. When you laughed at him for the third time, he took it as an invitation to sit next to you on the bed.
"How do you know Nancy?" you asked.
"High school," he replied, looking out into the room to see her dancing with a few other friends. "You?"
"She's in a club with my roommate and found out I had no plans tonight, so... I ended up here." You took another sip of your cider, nearing the bottom of the bottle.
The room was getting warmer and darker as the daylight faded from the open windows. All that lit the room was a small blue light coming from the opposite corner of the room. His pale skin looked pretty, the tint of blue turning his eyes dark.
"You're staring at me again," he said softly.
You broke out of your trance, looking into his eyes once again. "Again?"
He laughed, tucking the fangs back into his pocket. "I'm Eddie." That was his way of bailing you out—changing the subject from the fact that he had totally caught you.
As the party went on, Nancy convinced you to get up and dance with her. She held out her arms, singing along to the song playing through her speaker and frowning at you playfully. You giggled, setting your empty bottle down beside you and accepting her hands, standing up to dance a little. From the corner of your eye, you could see Eddie smiling and sipping from a paper cup, sitting exactly where you left him.
When the socialite moved along to dance with another friend of hers, you made your way back to the boy on her bed. "Now you're staring at me," you said confidently, standing nearly between his parted knees. He looked so soft as he gazed up at you, mouth slightly agape and eyes relaxed.
"Whoops," he said, but his gaze remained unaltered. The two of you enjoyed a moment of silence, just looking at each other. The stream of consciousness that usually kept you worrying about how you looked, what you'd talk about next, and if you were actually interesting to whoever you were talking to was paused.
Spit it out spit it out spit it out spit it
"Do you want to come upstairs with me?"
The words flew out before you even realized you were thinking them. And thank the Halloween gods you didn't retract them instantly out of fear, because Eddie was nodding. You felt your back straighten a little taller as he set down the paper cup on the counter beside your empty bottle. Nobody paid attention as the two of you slipped out, him following behind you quietly.
Stepping out into the hallway was a rude awakening. The bright yellow light stung your eyes in contrast to the gentle mood lighting of Nancy's room. The music was muffled behind the door, and the air (though less stuffy) felt thicker. You turned to face him, beginning to worry that the tension you felt only existed in the realm of that party, and that now that the ambiance was far from romantic, he wouldn't be interested anymo-
"What's upstairs?" he asked confidently, taking your hand gently in his.
You looked to him questioningly, hoping that you hadn't misinterpreted what you thought was him flirting with you.
"My roommate won't be back for a while," you said quietly, stepping a bit closer to him. "It'll just be us."
He seemed nervous, so you bit the bullet and leaned in, kissing him for the first time. You pulled away, giving him a chance to retreat if you had misread the situation. The separation didn't last long; his hands moved to cup your cheeks and kiss you deeper.
"Lead the way," he said.
And so you did. He took advantage of the view, behind (and subsequently beneath) you as you lightly jogged up to your room. Your boots clinked against the stair steps, echoing through the stairwell, followed by the heavier thuds of his sneakers.
You drop his hand to fiddle with your shorts, pulling your room key out of the pocket and opening the door.
"Are you sure this is okay?" he asks, slowly following behind you. You grab his wrist and pull him a little closer, closing the door so that you're both tucked into your tiny dorm room.
"She's gone for the weekend," you reply, kissing him again. He's not used to people being so forward with him. Or being invited back to girls' rooms. Or being kissed like that.
When you pull away, Eddie's eyes are wide, looking at you like he's just seen a ghost. He lets a sigh fill his cheeks and lets it out slowly, raking his fingers through his hair and taking in the view before him. You're in your Halloween costume—a cute little dress with thigh-high tights and black boots.
"I know your roommate's gone," he replies. "I mean like, are you sure you want this?" He looks sincere and a bit worried. He fumbles with your hand, and you swear you melt a little inside.
"I dunno," you reply, not breaking eye contact. "Will you put the fangs back in?"
He scoffs, smiling and shaking his head at the floor between you two.
"Bite me."
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gwenxmoreno · 8 months
Text
Time: a week or so after the rave
Where: Cemetery
What: Gwen talks about her current feelings
Warnings: mentions of death, cemetery things, anxiety
With the changing of the seasons, Gwendolyn had dug through an unlabeled box full of little decorations. Most of it was tiny little candles that needed new batteries, though a few bundles of different colored fake flowers were scattered about in the box. She felt unsure if she wanted to label the box as if it sealed its fate completely. Two years after his death, she still thought as if he was going to come back. She knew it was a silly thought. She knew that this box would forever be a box for him and that the label really didn't matter. Yet, she hated the permanent feeling of never changing the box.
She spent the morning picking out different flowers, fixing any weird bunched pieces from being stuck in a weird angle. Then she moved to make sure all her candles worked. Next in her tote bag were a few little pumpkins and fall decorations. Afraid of things getting knocked over, she rarely did anything too large or bulky.
Gwen debated for a while about taking Beatrice with her. Though the small blooming of something in her chest told her the answer she needed. This time she'd want to go alone. She'd want to be able to say her feelings and what truly needed to come out in the privacy of her father's church.
The drive was short and quiet. The closer she got to her husband, the more nervous she became. Her hands gripped the steering wheel just a little bit tighter as pressure from anxiety planted itself on her chest. Maybe this was all dumb, but she couldn't help the thoughts as she worried about what he might think. Or maybe what God would think about her.
Her legs felt like jello as she got out of the car, tote bag swung up on her shoulder. Still, she pushed through her anxious feelings and made her way up into the cemetery and to her husband's grave. Decorations from the 4th of July were still in decent shape. She easily moved them out of the way before taking out a small handheld broom to brush any debris from around his gravestone. "I know I'm a little bit early for autumn decorations, but I wanted to make sure I got these out here. You remember last year; we were too busy with Beatrice I just about missed Christmas as well." Of course, she knew there would only be silence in response.
"She's doing good. She's been loving those little baby puffs that melt into your mouth. I swear that's all she wants to eat now." One by one she slowly put out the candles and decorations. She took her time, thinking about the placement. Also buying her more time to delay talking about what really mattered to her. The blooming.
"I don't know why I keep thinking you're going to come back. Everyone says it's part of the whole grief thing. It's just weird sometimes. It's like some days I completely forget about what happened and that you'll come walking through the door." Her throat tightened painfully as she blinked back the tears threatening to spill.
"I... I just want you to know that I'm okay. I'm doing better... There's... There's this guy I've been bumping into every now and then. And he seems really nice and kind..." Gwen paused as she tried to get in a couple of breaths. The tightening in her chest and throat made it more difficult to even breathe let alone talk. "I don't know what's going to happen... I.. I wanted to tell you that I don't think I've smiled this much since you left me."
Shaky hands finished the decorations and the lights were flickering on as she flipped the switch to keep them on. She didn't know what she was more scared about -- her budding feelings for Rhett Harris or what her dead husband would think about it. She pulled her knees up to her chest, hands gripped tight. Maybe that would stop the shaking. Maybe that would make the guilt go away too. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She whispered, resting her head on her knees as she let the grief overcome her once more.
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