#i'm just really content right now like im feeling very grateful

[teyamsatan]

lllicit Affairs | Chapter VI: Death by a Thousand Cuts

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: You and Neteyam both have a dark secret that would change everything between you - and neither of you are willing to share.

Warnings: angst, some fluff, Lo'ak x reader, jealous!Neteyam, both main characters thirsting for each other, mentions of lab work, disease, blood, cursing.

Word Count: 7,2k words

A/N: Chapter 6 is the chapter that sets EVERYTHING in motion for what's to come. There is a LOT to come, a lot of drama and angst, maybe some smut (? 😉) and this chapter is meant as a stepping stone to the beginning of the end. Also, realised I forgot to ever mention, that if the dialogue is ever italicised, that usually means the conversation is in Na'vi, I don't know how I have never made it clearer, but here we are.

Thank you so much for everyone who's been reading and asking to be tagged, I never expected this to gain any traction and I am so grateful for people enjoying it x

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave you too much but it wasn't enough But I'll be all right, it's just a thousand cuts

One second. 

“Just one second, Neteyammm!”, you whined, as he was trying to remove the blanket from your currently very comfortable and very warm body. 

“It’s late, come on! Early bird catches the worm, isn’t that what you people say?”

“Nobody says that, I don’t know who told you this lie.” 

“It was you!!” he says, and he’s laughing at your whinging while trying to remove the blanket. He’s not trying that hard, considering he would make an easy job out of the task if he used a tenth of his actual force, but he couldn’t bear the thought of bringing you any unnecessary distress. You had enough of that in your life, and he wanted to be a source of comfort for you, a shelter in the storm. 

You scooted on one side of the bed close to the edge, and left a big gap which you brought to his attention by patting it aggressively. 

“Press the button on the audio player and lay with me, please? I don’t feel like going out today.”

He couldn’t say no to you, he realises. He would follow you anywhere in this world, do anything you asked of him, regardless how stupid or reckless or crazy it was. He would always follow you, for the rest of time, and he was happy about it. 

A song he liked came on, one that he’s heard you play before and there was no doubt in his mind that he liked it better when you sang it. He circled the bed and lay in it, next to you, in the dark. 

“Thank you, light of my life.” You attached yourself to him, arms sprawled across his bare chest and legs carelessly placed on top of abdomen and hips, and sighed contently. He could feel your warm breaths on his neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He turned his head to you and placed a small kiss on top of your head and listened to the soft tune filling up the room. 

“Oh, goddamn, my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows and now I'm covered in you”

“You’re annoying.”

“I know I am, but you love me anyway.”

I do, Neteyam thought. I really do…

Things happen in life sometimes, and it makes you lose your ability to react. There was no reaction, definitely no overreaction. You stared at the vial of blood that shattered all across the floor, all across you and your mind was blank. Almost robotically, you made your way to one of the benches and got some paper rolls and the IMS laying next to it. You carefully cleaned all of it, and spit whatever made its way to your mouth to the floor to be removed. When you were sure everything was gone, you went to the sink and removed your goggles and gloves, and scrubbed yourself clean. You felt yourself moving, picking up a bucket of water with some floor cleaner, felt yourself adding disinfectant to it and moping thoroughly, but it was like an out-of-body experience. Like you were merely a puppet executing orders from above. Cleaning everything took about an hour, after which you made your way back to your room slowly, deliberately. 

You didn’t sleep. You spent the whole night looking over everything you and the rest of the scientists have ever found out about this virus. You didn’t know its way of transmission. Maybe you had nothing to worry about, maybe it’s not by blood. You knew it’s not by air, you’ve seen plenty of people infected whose family was fine. So even if you do get infected, the people at the lab should be fine. Your friends would be fine. He would be fine. 

Next, incubation period. That’s a tough one, in-vitro studies show it takes the virus anywhere from 2 to 12 months to show symptoms. You don’t know how that changes in humans. You don’t know any of this shit for humans. You could be perfectly fine, you could die within the month. The thought made your blood run cold. 

You sat in your chair for the remainder of the night. Unmoving, unthinking. 

That’s how Norm found you.

“Hey, Ace. What are you doing up?”

You scrambled for a lie.

“Just woke up, actually. Listen, if you are going to check on the boy, can you please bring my supplies to the tent and tell the Sullys I won’t be in today? I was too exhausted to run any experiments yesterday so I will do it today.” 

“Oh… is everything alright? You haven’t missed a day in the village since you got your Avatar.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, just worried about the boy and want to get to the bottom of this sooner rather than later, if possible.”

“Alright, I can bring you back some of his blood to run as well?”

“NO!” 

Norm’s eyes widened in shock at your response and you knew you fucked up, you knew you slipped up. Calm yourself… 

“It’s just not necessary at the moment since I have other blood and I don’t want to overwhelm him, if it’s not imperative. I will retrieve some blood when I check on him tomorrow.”

Norm looked at you with a concerned look, but eventually relented.

“Ok, whatever you think, Ace.” 

“Thanks, Norm.” 

“Let me know what you find tonight. I’ll tell Jake, but they might not be happy with you.”

“You can explain it’s an emergency, I’m sure they’ll understand.”

 

You struggled to get up and get your legs to not want to collapse beneath you. Eventually, you made your way to the sink and washed, you scrubbed your face as hard as you could without removing a layer of skin, and your teeth until you felt the familiar taste of metal coat your teeth. You hoped that maybe you tried hard enough, the last 6 hours can just be erased from your life, from world. You hoped it could undo the damage that would plague you for the rest of your most likely very short life. 

Luckily, most scientists seemed to be out. Claire was teaching Na’vi kids English at Grace’s old school that Jake deemed fit to be reopened, Max left with Norm to check on the situation of the village, and most of the Avatars would be out on missions or training with Jake. You made your way to the quiet halls to one of the labs, and prepared for your long day ahead. This will be hard to do by yourself, but not impossible. 

First step, respiratory fluids. You remove a sterile cotton swab and swab your pharynx as thoroughly as possible and place it in a tube. That’s easy enough. Next comes the blood. Finding a vein has always been hard for people to do on you, and it��s not gotten any easier in time, so after poking yourself a few times in the wrong place, you manage to get enough blood to run experiments on. 

Hours of sample preparation, incubation, pipetting and running went by at an excruciatingly slow pace, like the universe was revelling in making every second of torture last forever. You thanked your lucky stars of the progress made in lab equipment and that you didn’t have to spent days on one PCR, like your mum was saying it had to be done back on Earth about a century ago. Regardless, it took most of the day for you to do everything you needed, check for all the proteins and markers you knew were deregulated with this virus, and by the early hours of night, you were done. 

Aș people were starting to return to the hub as another day was nearing its end, you retreated back to your bedroom to work on the data analysis. You did not want to see anyone, did not want to speak to anyone until you knew at least some things. The less you talked, the less lies that had to come out of your mouth, and that seemed ideal to you. 

Inputting the data and having to wait on some software to give you your literal death sentence felt so tragic is was almost comical, and you had to stop and ask yourself if you were some serial killer in a past life to warrant all the pain and misery life seemed adamant to throw at you. For the first time in so long you couldn’t even remember, things were going… well. You were strong, and doing well, and lived outside of the walls of this lab. You had a chance at something more, you had a chance at maybe one day healing and working through your issues and maybe even coming out the other side a better, healthier version of yourself. You had a chance at love.

And there it was… positive. One second.

THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF  STAGE I: DENIAL

Your blood became poison in the span of half a day, but at least you now knew it wasn’t transmitted through air. That means no one else would have to suffer because of you. The thought made you weirdly calm, and you realised you didn’t care about your own health all along. No, you weren’t sad anymore, just relieved. A wide smile appeared on your face at the results, and you jumped out of the chair with enthusiasm at the great news. Everybody would be ok. Norm, Max, they would all be ok. You will handle all the virus experiments and blood samples from now on. They wouldn’t have reason to doubt you or question you, not when it made most sense anyway, since you were always in the village and knew the protocols and techniques the best, anyway. You would go on the same way as you had, and no one had to know or suffer because of your mistakes. 

With those thoughts still floating in your mind and a Xanax on your tongue, you made your way to the comfortable bed and crashed without a dream in sight. 

You were up before dawn again, and ready to get started on your day at the village. You were looking forward to gun training with Jake, and finally putting those years of practice to good use. You found Norm deep in thought in the link room, and he didn’t register you walking in until you patted his shoulder and he jumped out of his skin.

 

“Jesus, Ace. You scared the shit out of me.” 

“I noticed. Why so jumpy, Norm?” 

He gave you the quickest look known to man then quickly busied himself with literally anything else. “No reason, just focused on the task at hand.”

“…turning on the linkpod?” 

“No one likes a smartass, you know?” 

“So how was the village yesterday? How is the boy?” 

“He’s alright, still not great, but his vitals are stable for now.” You noticed he did not answer your question about the village, and found slight panic rising in your chest.

“Is everything okay? Did something happen in the village?” 

“No, Ace, everything’s fine. You don’t have to worry about everything, you know. How did the experiments go yesterday?” 

“The virus is not airborne, it seems to be transmitted by blood, so we need to be very careful handling samples.” 

“We always are. But good work, good to have some concrete evidence finally. I’ll look over your analysis soon.”

“You know, I’m not quite done with it, so maybe wait and we can look over it together?”

“Sure, that makes sense.”

You didn’t buy Norm’s pathetic attempts at deflecting the subject of the village, but you did not want to fight him so early in the day, so you guess you had to find out what happened for yourself. You woke up in your Avatar body soon enough, and could already tell the village was already awake and buzzing with the perspective of a new day. The guitar sitting on the ground next to your sleeping mat caught your eye, and you smiled softly at the memory which now seems a life away. Your fingers lingered on the chords and you strummed it gently a few times, enjoying the sounds that seemed to settle in your heart. Adjusting your braids in the small mirror you brought with you a few weeks ago, you made your way out of your tent and straight into Neteyam’s chest with a loud thud. 

“What the fuck?” You say, indignantly and then look up to find Neteyam watching you with an unreadable expression adorning his beautiful face. 

“Hi.” He says, and tries to muster a small smile. 

“Hi…? Is there any particular reason you have decided to attack me first thing in the morning?” 

“I was just coming to get you, I heard the guitar playing. I didn’t think you would be running straight into me. Are you ready? We can spend the morning tracking a herd of Talioang that the hunter party spotted a few clicks south of the village. It will be good practice for you.” 

“…alright? Can I get some food first? I’m famished.”

Neteyam shifted uncomfortably in front of you and looked… nervous, you realised. What the hell was going on with everyone?

“I have food that Ma packed for us, we can eat in the forest? I’d really rather get a move on as soon as possible, this will most likely take most of today, anyway.”

“Is there a particular reason you seem so eager for me to leave? You and Norm have both been acting weird today, and you are both terrible liars.”

Neteyam gave you a hard look. “Let’s go, Y/N. Unlike what you like to think, you don’t need to know everything, and not everything concerns you. Let’s go, now.” Nothing’s changed, you realised bitterly. Last night was just a fluke and you hated yourself in that moment for letting your guard down. 

“You can be a real dick sometimes, Neteyam.” You said and took off without looking at him. 

You ran for about 5 clicks without checking behind you, knowing full well he was following you, your hearing being one of the many senses that heightened in this body. You stopped suddenly at the sight of a huge footprint, one you could identify as the Sturmbeest, or a Talioang, like it was known to the Na’vi. Soon enough, you saw the ground littered with them, and began carefully tracking the beasts.

“Alright. How far would you say they are and which direction?” Neteyam asked, approaching you slowly. He was back to teaching mode, and you tried your best to learn, instead of recoiling and telling him to go to hell, which is what you really wanted to do. 

You touched the ground and felt it with your fingers, trying to assess the moisture level and deepness of the mark. You thought about for a while.

“I’d say they’re quite fresh. Maybe this morning? Taloioang move slowly, about 1 click every hour or two, so I’d say we’ll find them about 2 clicks east?”

He didn’t even have to touch the ground to be able to assess it. He was impressive. 

“Good. Let’s go. We shouldn’t run, they have good hearing and the wind is blowing east, which means they’ll be able to smell us if we’re not careful. We will take a roundabout way and approach them from the south.” 

You both made your way through the forest and it was your turn to follow him, although you stayed close behind and tried to look around you and pick up on clues, tiny sounds and movements, trying to learn, trying to see. “Eyes on the tracks, Y/N.” 

You rolled your eyes, but did as you were told. Eventually, Neteyam let you deem the appropriate time to stray from the tracks and move south to avoid being spotted. Soon enough, you saw the herd of prodigious beings, bathing in a shallow lake. You made your way slowly, sneaking on the ground, with Neteyam close to you, and you felt his arms grazing your sides every inch of the way. 

The herd was protecting the calves, 5 in total, playing and splashing in the clear water. You watched in amazement, just enjoying the view of these seemingly ferocious beasts that in the moment, felt more like a family watching their children play at the local pool. You couldn’t believe the beauty and mild predisposition, the complex nature of these animals whose equivalents were long gone on Earth, long decimated by humans and their needless desire for wealth and acquisition, for mindless cruelty. You felt your stomach drop at the realisation that soon, this could be Pandora, if you didn’t fight will all your being in the upcoming war. 

You felt a sudden gentle pressure on your lower back, a pressure you quickly identified as Neteyam’s hand and you shuddered at the touch. He neared his mouth to your ears, and you felt his warm breath tickling your neck, a sudden warmth pooling in your lower abdomen. 

“You’re not allowed to kill anything yet, but I want you to show me how you would go about it. Show me your bow work, how would you aim from this position.”

You slowly removed your bow from from your person and sat up, in a now crouched stance, and loaded the arrow, doing your best to accommodate for the uncomfortable position you were in and the tight space you were sharing with another person. You held your breath, engaged your core, and aimed as if you were going to release your arrow on the target about 300m away. Neteyam’s large hand touched your upper thigh, by your left hip and squeezed gently. Your arm dropped suddenly and snapped your head in his direction. He didn’t react to your sudden snap, instead talking lowly, so as to not give your location away. “Your leg is not in a position by which you can maximise release. You will have more power in the shot if you place this knee on the ground and lean into it.” 

You wanted to take that hand and either break it or redirect it on other parts of your body that felt like they would explode if they didn’t feel him, have his touch provide the relief that was desperately yearned for, needed. You wanted to scream at him or make him coax the screams out of you like a war-cry, wild and desperate. You wanted to kill him, you wanted him to kill you, slowly and painfully, taking his time on your body until you were falling apart at the seams around him. You hated him, you loved him. You hated him.

You gave him a hard look, an angry look directed at your thigh, and he removed his hand from you. You wondered if he knew, knew what he was doing, wondered if he felt the same way, if he too was struggling to catch his breath at the torture of knowing he can’t have you, claim you, right now, right in this second, right here. You hoped he did, hope it ate him alive, the yearning and the desire. Because that’s what it was doing to you, what he was doing to you. You turned your attention back to the herd and adjusted your position based on his advice. He was right, you could tell right away, as you felt a lot more power when aiming the arrow this time. 

“Much better. We can go now, we will give the location to the hunting party and the will be able to secure us dinner for a couple of weeks from the back of a couple of Ikrans.”

 

You made your way out of their surroundings, and slowly started walking back to the village. After about half an hour, he stopped on a rock and removed the food he was carrying in a pouch. You didn’t join him, preferring to keep your distance and thus a clear mind, not being able to afford being weak around him anymore. 

“I thought you were famished.” He says, with a slight smile. You shook your head and turned around, taking in the views of the forest, distracting yourself with the flowers reaching out their neon green tendrils towards you. You kneeled next to one, and touched them gently, enjoying the way they cupped around your hand and tugged, like they were urging you to come closer so they can spill their long-forgotten dreams to you. You heard him sigh loudly.

“Sorry for being a dick. Just had a fight with mum and dad, and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have, and I am sorry. Come eat, please? I don’t want you passing out on me, you’re not as easy to carry as you used to be when you were human.” 

You remained on your knees still, focused on only the plants and your gentle tug-of-war. You knew how much pressure Neteyam was under, has been for pretty much his entire life. A prodigy created… or made, no one could really know for sure, he began training when most babies learn to walk, and speak, and play. He has never had a childhood the way Lo’ak, or Kiri, or Tuk, or pretty much any other Na’vi children did, mostly fleeting moments of bliss in between a lot more moments of stress and struggle. He never complained, though. Not out loud, not to anyone else but you, once he realised you were a safe haven from the storm. You didn’t pass judgement, or make him feel bad for sharing his feelings, and he felt like he could tell you all the hardest truths his heart has always craved to speak out loud. You have always wanted to protect him from the world, a world that demanded so much of him, that asked for a sacrifice of which it was undeserving. Being Olo’yektan, leading the people, being the one person everyone relied on was a great honour, a great achievement - one you didn’t think he wanted, but was never given the chance to decline. 

“What happened?” 

You walked slowly towards the rock he was laying on, and sat at its foot, crossing your legs on the slightly damp grass. You grabbed a piece of jerky from the pile of food and slowly chewed through it, humming in appreciation at the smoky taste and rich flavour of the meat. 

Neteyam grimaced and didn’t look at you, choosing to focus instead of his arm guards, picking at something that was clearly not there. “More sacrifices I need to make in the name of the future, of the people.” 

“I see you still haven’t learnt to say no, even after all this time apart.” 

Neteyam’s hand froze in midair, his eyes widening slightly - it was the first time you brought up the year apart. He braced himself for what he thought was the beginning of the end, of you finally demanding answers he didn’t think would ever satisfy you, but no other words left your lips.  

“I can’t say no. I owe my parents everything I have, everything I am. This village, this life, is all I know. My dad gave up on everything he knew to stand up for our people, to make sure we’d get a future worth living, a family worth saving, a world still worth fighting for. He became Olo’yektan despite all that stood against him because he loved my mum, loved us, even then, even before we were born. My grandpa died defending this village, watching home tree get decimated in front of his eyes, with only the people’s safety on his mind and tongue. I see that bow that my mum cherishes like a gift from Eywa herself and I want to be worthy of it, someday. And if it means giving up some things, maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be.” 

“Maybe whatever you’re giving up is making room for something ever better, Neteyam. Sometimes we want something so bad, we can’t see the forest for the trees.” 

He looks at you confused for a second.

“That’s a saying. What I’m trying to say is maybe you are over focused on something you want right now, that you think is the best thing for you, but maybe you just are not focusing on the bigger picture. Maybe in the future, whatever you’re giving up now will make room for something that was much better for you all along.”

Disappointment filled his chest at your words. Neteyam looked at you with deep sadness marking his features, and he could see you were trying to think of things to say that could make him feel better. In all honesty, he wanted - needed - you to tell him to be selfish, and trust his gut, and follow what he knew was right in his heart, but he also knew that being selfish is not a trait that came naturally to you. You have always respected the deep bond Neteyam had to his family and his people and you always used to tell him how proud of him you were for how strong he was, for the lengths he was willing to go to to protect and nurture those bonds. 

You felt an overwhelming sense of grief at the realisation that you will never get to see him become Olo’yektan, see him become the man everybody knew he was. He would never be yours, and although that painful conclusion had settled in your soul and had time to scar in all the time you knew him, a new wound, deeper, bloodier, deadlier, tore your heart apart at the thought you would not even be able to watch from afar. You would have been satisfied with scraps, just watching him rule, and be, and love someone else and imagining it was you. You never thought you’d get more than that anyway, never had any delusions for more. The scraps would have been enough, and now even those were brutally taken from you, like everything else in this life. 

You needed to leave, now. 

“Should we head back? It’s getting late.”

You walked back in deep, uncomfortable silence. Eclipse made the nature shine and glimmer with colours your sadness dulled to muted tones. There was light coming from the village and you realise how badly you wanted to be alone, in your tent and read, or watch a movie or a show, and ignore this world for a little while while you licked your newly-opened wounds. Tonight was a communal dinner around the big bonfire in the centre of the village, and you felt grateful your presence would not be missed in such a crowd. You’ve come to love these dinners, another one of the many ways the tribe connected to the village and to each other, but tonight you couldn’t entertain even the thought long enough to count.

“Can you please tell your family I am sorry, but I will probably head to bed early. I’ll be early for breakfast tomorrow, I promise.” 

“I can do that. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You nodded absentmindedly and closed the flap of the tent shut.

Neteyam watched as you left him, still reeling from your conversation. Much like you, he just wished to hide in his family’s tent and pretend for a night things are different, that they are better. Actually, if we are talking about wishes, he wishes he could be in your tent. In all honestly, dealing with you on a day to day basis, seeing you, your body, touching it more and longer than he knew he reasonably had to, was making him think thoughts he knew he had no business thinking. In his wildest dreams, he’d be in your tent and making your eyes roll back in the way that drove him crazy. In his wildest dreams, he’d be coaxing sounds out of you that only he would ever hear. In his wildest dreams, your hands all over him would heal him and break him at the same time. He was desperately in need of some relief, and he loathed all decisions in his life that lead to you not being able to be the one to provide it for him. 

He made his way to the bonfire, and greeted all of the Na’vi that respectfully bowed their heads at his arrival. He saw his family at the centre of the crowd, where they normally sat, and joined them silently. They all gave him uneasy looks - all but one. Lo’ak was blatantly glaring at the older Sully, a look of disappointment and disgust marring his normally kind face that reminded Neteyam so much of their dad. 

“Did you tell her?” 

Kiri elbowed Lo’ak in the abdomen, but he didn’t flinch. He did not even bother to acknowledge Kiri, or the low hiss escaping their mum’s lips - his eyes were still boring into Neteyam, unwavering. 

“No.” Neteyam’s expression darkened and in a split second, he became the warrior his dad moulded him into. “And you will not, either, Lo’ak. Do you understand me?” Lo’ak had to look up to look at his brother who was now dangerously towering over him. 

“Oh, the mighty warrior giving out orders, what else is new?” 

“Lo’ak, that’s enough.” Neteyam heard Jake intervene, and he eventually had to physically put his body in between his two sons, who still refused to look away from each other.

“Fnawe’tu (coward).”

 

Neteyam watched his brother turn his back on his family and walk away from the feast, and although he wouldn’t admit it to himself, he knew deep down that Lo’ak was right.

 

You were almost robotically flipping through the directory of movies and tv shows on the laptop that you had with you in the village, not quite ready to go back to the lab and have to deal with the consequences of your newly acquired “condition”. You had all night to do experiments, and lie to yourself that you were fine until you eventually succumbed to a Xanax-induced blackout. You wanted to be in this body just a little while longer, because, in this body, it was easy to forget the realities of your actual life.

You saw a five-fingered hand emerge from the entrance to your tent, and you laughed incredulously at the clown you loved, who seemed to have a knack for improving your dour mood.

“I am here to bother you.” You got up and started making your way towards the entrance of your tent.

“Shouldn’t you be at dinner?” You say, laughing and pulling Lo’ak by the hand, so he stumbles unattractively into you. 

You wrap your arms around him and hug him gently. “Skxawng.” 

“I should, but I am here instead. We haven’t had movie night in so long.” He lay on your sleep mat and you hissed for him to move over. “You’re getting way too comfortable hissing at people.”

“Not people, Lo’ak, you!” You smiled saying that, knowing you were quoting Kiri, and he groaned exasperatedly. 

A few more weeks passed, and you felt the discrepancy between your bodies become more pronounced than it had ever been. It turns out, the incubation period of a Na’vi virus in a human is not long at all, and roughly around last week, you began displaying symptoms. You were taking every drug under the sun to try to soften them, but you had seen one too many good Na’vi people die due to this to know what was lurking underneath the comfortable cushion of drug-induced health. Despite all that, you felt on top of the world in your avatar. You were continuously improving, and, with a little bit of luck, will be completing your first kill soon - the first stepping stone to becoming Taronyu, hunter. If you do that successfully, you will be taking your Iknimaya with other Na’vi apprentices, and finally get your own Ikran. You were buzzing at the thought, and the image of you flying in the sky was enough to push any other worries out of your mind. 

After that weird day that ended with Lo’ak in your tent watching Friends together and teaching him the chords to a song you both loved, things went back to normal, sort of. You couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that the Sullys were hiding something from you. They exchanged looks, and avoided certain subjects, and you were starting to be worried they guessed you were ill, and were tiptoeing around the subject so as to not upset you. That was a good theory, although it could not explain the heavy tension between Neteyam and Lo’ak that also started that night. 

You saw them bicker and fight your whole life: two opposing personalities, both of whom had misunderstandings about the other. Neteyam could never understand Lo’ak, understand that, despite being the chieftain’s son and the grandson of the Tsahik and former Olo’yektan, people still looked at him like he was not quite full Na’vi. His eyebrows and five fingers made his appearance uncanny enough to always attract whispers and looks, and despite Lo’ak’s apparent devil-may-care attitude, he cared. Neteyam could also not understand anyone who wished to live freely and discover themselves, make decisions and choices that would lead to a happy, fulfilled life, rather than a proud and accomplished one. Finally, Neteyam did not understand that skill and tenacity doesn’t come easy to everybody, and the weight of living in his shadow was bearing heavily on his baby brother’s back. 

On the other hand, Lo’ak never tried to understand the burden Neteyam had to carry, because, in his desire to not appear weak, he took it in strides and never complained. Lo’ak never fully understood the downfalls of what being “the perfect son” brings: no freedom, no childhood, no time, no fun, no choice. He only ever focused on the positives: praise from his family and clan, skill and composure, the title of future Leader of the Omatikaya. He will also never be able to understand the depths of Neteyam’s love for him, who, despite all their differences, would be willing to sacrifice everything, even his own life, to make sure his baby brother would never having to experience these burdens.

This tension felt like more. More than you’ve ever seen, not mended in time, they were always glowering at each other and only speaking to each other if prompted or forced by their increasingly frustrated family. You tried to talk to both of them individually and ask, but you were promptly sent on your way each time. You could tell Lo’ak was itching to spit it out, but every time he got close, he flashed you a look of hurt and fear, and moved on. 

Eventually, you stopped worrying about it. It will come out in time, and you had better things to worry about. Your training became brutal after that day tracking Sturmbeests. Neteyam would come to your tent before dawn, sometimes having to wait for you while you woke up in your Avatar body, and you were always gone past eclipse. You were tracking, joining hunting parties to learn, working on shooting arrows while on Pa’li or in nearly impossible positions (he made you shoot targets hanging upside down from the branches of trees, seriously) and working on guns and practicing with Jake and his soldiers. Jake made you his second-in-command during these sessions, and you enjoyed having the roles reversed and having to watch Neteyam squirm every time you touched his arm, or waist, or thighs, in order to adjust his shooting form. You also taught Lo’ak, sometimes late in the nights, where he would sneak into your tent and ask you questions about guns that he hoped would bring him in his father’s good graces for once in his life. You loved teaching them, and you felt powerful with all the eyes on you, trying to absorb every piece of information coming out of your mouth. 

“In your hands, you are holding a sub machine-gun.” You said and you made your way through the 10 soldiers in your midst. “It can fire up 600 rounds per minute. You have a button on the side of the weapon, as you can see right there”, you stopped and show everyone on your own weapon, “that allows you to choose between semi automatic and fully automatic. What’s the difference, Lo’ak?”

“A semi-automatic guns fires one shot when you pull the trigger, a fully automatic gun fires continuously until you release the trigger.” 

“Tsantu (good guy)!” you said with an intimate smile. Lo’ak was making amazing progress, and you were proud to be even a small reason why. 

Neteyam gave Lo’ak a hard look as he answered your question. He was angry with his brother because of his recent attitude, he thought. That’s the reason. Not at all because you were smiling at him with that dazzling smile that used to be reserved for him years ago, definitely not because he knew Lo’ak was sneaking in your tent at night and doing Eywa-knows-what, a fact which kept Neteyam up nights with images he would do everything in his power to be able to erase from his brain. Neteyam was exhausted. He hasn’t slept since this thing started, not until Lo’ak returned to his tent after his meetings with you, and he was able to look at him in the dim light of the night and gauge for himself if his brother was flushed, or panting, or extra happy for one reason or another. Despite never seeing anything that he could deem suspicious, the images of his baby brother taking for himself what was his, what should be his, haunted him and made him sick to his stomach. 

Coward. Lo’ak words rang in his ears incessantly throughout each day, never being able to fully block them out. 

Neteyam saw you move from Lo’ak and towards him, and tried to remember what they were talking about. Sub-machine guns, right. 

“Now, SMGs are best used in tighter quarters or close to mid-range. The spread will make it inefficient for long-range. If you find yourself on the back of your Ikran shooting at a plane or Valkyrie, make sure you close the gap between you or use your bow, instead.”

“An SMG will have a lot of recoil, making it harder to shoot accurately, but there are a few tips you can use to make to improve your aim and accuracy.”

“First. Always fire in short bursts, if you are firing on automatic mode. A few shots at a time will make sure the kick is not unmanageable. Two, account for the kick and adjust your aim to compensate. Think of shooting an arrow and how you always take the wind, its direction, speed and power in consideration before you actually release. It’s a similar principle. The recoil will make the gun kick upwards, so always aim slightly lower than what you want to hit. Three, don’t aim for the head. Leave that for a bow or an assault/sniper rifle with a scope. Aim for the abdomen and chest, since that is a wider target and more likely to hit. Everyone on the same page?”

Neteyam was forever in awe of you, but it was particularly impressive watching you now. You were confident and powerful and knowledgeable. Neteyam felt bad admitting it, but you were a much better teacher than their dad ever was. Toruk Makto had many incredible qualities, but his patience was definitely not amongst them, and his lessons tend to get a bit derailed by his inability to understand that Na’vi are not predisposed to guns or understanding Sky People technology. You were calm, and kind, and funny, and you made it easy for everyone to follow your instructions. In the span on a few weeks, all of the Na’vi and Avatar soldiers training for the upcoming war became better at pretty much every aspect that they were training in, and I think everyone felt just a bit more comfortable about the conflict that was soon to befall them, with you by their side. 

After the lesson was complete, you left alongside Lo’ak, sparing one last look in Neteyam’s direction. He was already watching you, and you saw a fleeting angry look that was quickly replaced with an expressionless mask. He was getting good at that, you thought. 

“Do you want to do anything? If I have to listen to Kiri talk about all the new types of flowers and plants and shit she keeps finding in the woods, I will lose my mind.”

“Be nice.” 

Kiri has been particularly hyperfixated on her newfound discoveries recently, and you tried your best to pay attention to every time she was describing them, in detail, but in reality you were always so exhausted by the time dinner came around that you were only assimilating about a tenth of all the words coming out of her mouth. You felt bad, and made a mental note to dedicate a couple of days to your friend that you saw less and less each week. 

“Your Iknimaya is getting closer and closer each day, how do you feel?”

“Honestly I haven’t thought about it that much, just taking it one day at a time.”

“I think you should start thinking about it, cause it’s going to happen. You’ve managed to blow everyone’s expectations out of the water. It barely been two months since you got your avatar body, not even my dad did this so fast. You were made for this, Angel.” 

You didn’t know what to say to that. You were grateful for Lo’ak’s faith in you, but with everything happening in your human body, it felt pointless looking towards the future. 

“You will be one of us, soon. I’ve had dreams about this my whole life, you know? It’s like I manifested your Avatar, Norm should be thanking me.” 

“Lo’ak…” 

You didn’t like the turn this conversation took, and felt an uncomfortable twinge settle in your chest at his words. 

“There are perks that come with being an Omatikaya, you know? You can make your bow out of the wood of the Home Tree… and you can choose a mate.” 

Fuck. 

Neteyam was making his way back to the village with the rest of the soldiers, casually chatting to one of the Avatars returning with them. He wasn’t paying attention to the way until his body knocked into one of the Na’vi walking in front of him. Utsou was staring intently at a scene unfolding in front of him, a scene that turned Neteyam’s blood to shards of glass, leaving cuts and bruises along his entire body. It was you, smiling, running your hand up and down Lo’ak’s arm whilst his hand was cupping your face and caressing your cheek. It was such an intimate interaction, it felt wrong to everyone there to even be able to witness it, and Neteyam felt himself becoming nauseous. With the image now seared into his memory and rage turning his breaths to pants, he turned around and left everything - everyone - behind. 

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @hayhay9091

#neteyam #neteyam x human!reader #neteyam x reader #neteyam fanfic #neteyam reader #neteyam sully #avatar #avatar twow #avatar fanfic #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam sully fanfiction #neteyam angst #awow #awow neteyam #loak reader #avatar loak

[churromancermasterofchurros]

I think that the switch from reddit to tumblr is particularly difficult for me so far, and i know it's just been a few days, but i wonder if other people are having these issues as well, so i thought it might be a decent idea to write out my thoughts here.

-first off, i was a lurker almost exclusively on reddit. Much more introverted, and i only spoke about things i knew or if i knew id get karma for it (being a person with RSD, i kind of hated downvotes, regardless if they were just "useless internet points" or not).

-tumblr requires you to be more interactive and speak out more with its etiquette, by reblogging and so forth (ive read in a few places that comments sections werent used much before the refugees invaded tumblr, which i think seems like a cool positive)

-while there arent any downvotes, i still feel anxious to talk/put myself out there. Am i reblogging right? Are my tags funny? Is my blog a big uninteresting mess?

This isnt a problem with the site itself, but with me obviously. But we are talking about my difficulty here, so it still needs to be said.

-the communities arent built in here like they were with reddit, so you sort of have to find it, and the regular posters who have the kind of quality content you want. This is pretty cool, but vastly different from reddit and im having a tough time getting used to it.

-there's definitely a few people i missed from the reddit communities i was in, and i wish i knew if they were here or not. (Talking about you, u/nepalman230)

All this being said, holy hell, its wild. Im putting my thoughts out here right now, and while it does feel....uncomfy, i think its more because im not used to it. It feels more like shouting out to the void. Maybe itll talk back. Who knows?

But i think this site is very neat, and i love love LOVE how much more inclusive tumblr is. Im straight and a cis male, but there were a lot of toxic communities that would just not let people be who they say they are, and im so glad that all my LGBTQ+ friends have a more inclusive place like this, and that so many have migrated over here. I wish i wouldve come here sooner.

Im also very grateful to all you veteran tumblr users putting in the effort to help us out. Youve put so much out here for us, to help us better understand how to navigate these new waters, and honestly? I'd have been really screwed without the help ive received, because tumblr is really kinda chaotic.

Its good to be here, and i'm hoping i can get over all my dysfunctions and really enjoy this space you've shared with us.

#reddit boycott #reddit blackout #reddit refugee #kinda hopeful #a strange new world #dealing with ADHD #rsd is a bitch #venting and reflecting #tumblr vs reddit #reddit sucks #thoughts

[poetryandfluffycats]

A Producers Reward

A/N: im sick so this is mainly just mugi brainrot. also first real time writing smut so cant promise it will be amazing

Pairing: Tsumugi Aoba x fem!producer reader

Warnings: NSFW, tipsy sex, oral sex(f receiving), penetrative sex, petnames(princess, baby, good girl), breeding kink, praise, light amount of teasing, very light spanking, semi-public sex(in a closet), mildly ooc Tsumugi(hes drunk soo), soft dom Tsumugi

Content: You attend the release party of a new album from Switch, the idol group you produce. A very tipsy Tsumugi finds you during the party, desperate to show you how much you mean to the unit.

Words: 2.2k

NSFW oneshot under cut!

Voices boomed from throughout the party venue, which had been decorated with an abundance of green and white streamers and ribbons. This was what made your job as a producer worthwhile-witnessing your idol group, who had spent all their hard work and energy on their new album, be showered in praise at the release party. Seeing the bright smiles and looks of achievement on the members of Switchs faces made all the stress worth it.

You sat down on a sofa, swirling your wine as you watched Natsume make a speech up at the microphone. You could see Sora sitting down close to the microphone, staring up at his senpai with much admiration and respect. He looked adorable in his little suit-like a real cutie-and you couldn't help but feel a smile tug at your lips as you looked at the younger idol.

"Enjoying yourself, producer?" The couched dipped slightly as a familiar face came and sat down next to you.

"Ah, Tsumugi. Yes, its lovely" You took a sip of your wine. "I'm glad everyone is enjoying themselves"

"Hmmm, yeah. Its all thanks to you, producer" Tsumugi hummed whilst taking a sip of his own drink, his eyes not leaving your form. "You put so much effort into our group"

You couldn't tell whether it was the alcohol or Tsumugis gaze that was making your cheeks red and hot, and you were grateful for the dim lights of the room. "Its a team effort, really. I only play a small part in your success" You waved your hand dismissively, trying desperately to ignore the butterflies in your stomach.

Tsumugi took another long sip of his wine, his intensive gaze washing over you again. A shiver ran down your spine. You'd never seen him look at anyone like that before, let alone you.

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit" His tone suddenly dropped, a stark contrast to the cheerful one you were used to hearing. You could smell the alcohol on his breath as he shuffled closer and your whole body tensed up.

"Tsumugi?"

"Switch would fall apart without you, (name)" His large veiny hand met your thigh, gently stroking the plush skin.

You bit down hard on your lip, trying to suppress a soft moan from escaping your lips. The sensation of his fingers running up and down your inner thigh was enough to drive you crazy.

"You work so hard for us. You reward us so well, but who rewards you? Who takes care of you?" He cooed, his breath tickling your neck as he leaned in closer. His voice was full of lust, laced with the desire to take you right here on the sofa. It was as if the wine had released some carnal urge in the blue haired idol. "Don't you think you deserve a reward?"

"A reward?" It was getting hard to think coherent thoughts as Tsumugis slender fingers gazed over your clothed cunt. You could feel your wetness pooling inside your panties, soaking them.

"Yes, a reward" He placed a sloppy kiss to your neck, biting down softly. "Don't you want a reward, princess?"

The petname went straight to your core. There was no way you could resist him now.

"Please! Please Tsumugi, please reward me!" Your words came out as a rushed moan as he continued to rub up and down your soaked clothed cunt, a lustful smirk appearing on his face.

"Good girl"

With that, he pulled you up. His grip on your wrist was tight-nearly painful-as he dragged you through the party. The two of you received many strange glares and glances as you rushed through the crowd, probably due to the arousal you could feel dripping down your leg and Tsumugis painfully hard member straining his suit pants. You didn't care though. The only thing you cared about right now was Tsumugi.

"Ah!"

You gasped as you were thrown into a storage closet. Tsumugi very swiftly shut the door, clicking the lock into place. It was pitch black in the closet, the sound sounds being the muffled music from the party and your tiny whines and pants.

"Shhh, you have to be quiet baby" Tsumugi purred at you, one hand snaking around your waist to pull you close and the other being placed over your mouth silencing you. You couldn't see him in the darkness, but you could feel his hard cock pressing up against your thigh. "If you can be quiet, I'll make sure to fuck you real good, okay?"

You nodded desperately, tears beginning to prick the corners of your tears because of how desperate you were for his touch.

Tsumugi grinned and removed his hand from your mouth, replacing it with his lips. He wasted no time brushing his tounge into your mouth, the bitter taste of red wine filling your taste buds. The kiss was sloppy and uncoordinated, his movements were almost animalistic as he devoured your mouth.

His hands began to roam across your body, sitting comfortably on your ass. You groaned into his mouth and arched your back as he kneaded and squeezed the soft flesh through your skirt, giving it a light spank.

"Such a sluty little outfit, such easy access for me" Tsumugi murmured as he pulled away from the kiss, a string of sailva drooling down his chin. Delivering another soft spank to your ass, he chuckled slightly. "Just begging to be fucked"

"P-please, need my reward..." You muttered, reaching for his belt. He slapped your hand away, causing you to whine and pout.

"Ah, Ah, Ah. You need to be patient, baby" He tutted, sliding his fingers down the waistband of your skirt.

In one swift motion, he pulled down the garment and got down on his knees. He buried his nose into the warmth of your panties, breathing in deeply.

"You smell so good" He cooed, lapping up the wetness that was dripping from out the lace. A sinful moan escaped your lips as his tounge slid over your clothed clit. Your legs felt as if they were turning to jelly. "Tastes good too"

He quickly ripped the thin layer of lace off your body and discarded them on the floor beside him. You didn't even have time to be embarrassed of your nakedness before the idol buried his mouth onto your clit, sucking it harshly.

"Fucking hell" You cried out, your hips bucking at the contact. You could feel his grin as he continued to suck and lick your sensitive bud. The sensation was enough to drive you crazy.

Suddenly, he pushed his middle and index fingers inside your sopping cunt. He trusted them deep, scissoring them and hitting all the sweet spots inside of you. He began to niddle softly on your clit, flicking his tounge up and down. Your legs shook as you grinded your pussy against his face like a dog in heat, desperately chasing your orgasm.

"M-mugi~ close-Ah!" You whined as he increased the speed of his fingers, smirking against your clit as he silently added a third digit. You were a complete mess. Sweat was dripping down your face and thighs, mixing with the juices down your leg. Your body trembled and shook violently.

"Cum for me, princess"

With one final flick of his tounge, the knot in your stomach snapped. You threw your head back and arched your back, screaming out Tsumugis name. White clouded your vision and you swore you saw stars as he continued to fingerfuck you through your high, your walls clamping down against the digits.

"Such a pretty girl" He retracted his fingers from your hole, making you whimper at the loss of contact. He brought his glistening fingers up to his mouth, licking off the slick and allowing some of it to drip down his chin. "You're so good for me, (name)"

He stood up, pulling you in for another sloppy kiss. The mixture of the taste of your own jucies and the red wine was intoxicating in your mouth. You couldn’t help but reach for his belt again, trying to undo it. Your movements were clumsy, long gone any of your previous patience.

"Need you...need your cock now" You whined into the kiss as Tsumugi moved his lips down onto your neck. He sucked and sunk his teeth hard into the skin, no doubt leaving countless hickies and burises.

"I know baby, I know" Tsumugi cooed, licking the pluse of your neck. "I'll give it to you, don't worry. Gonna stuff that pretty little hole of yours and breed you nice and good"

"Breed me!~ Need it so bad!" Any shred of dignity you once had had disappeared, leaving you a horny mess. You tugged harshly at his belt, causing the idol to chuckle and swat your hand away again.

"So needy for me, aren't you princess?~" Tsumugi purred, finally helping you undo his belt and letting his trousers fall to the floor. The outline of his bulge was more visible through his boxers. The sight made you clench around nothing.

He pulled his boxers down, his erection springing free and hitting his lower stomach. You couldn't see such in the darkness of the closet, but you could tell he was big, a very prominent vein going up the shaft. A small puddle of precum was gathered on the tip, leaking down.

You didn't have much time to admire though, as Tsumugi quickly grabbed your waist and slammed you up against the wall, using his own hips to sandwich you between him and the cold brick.

"F-fuck, Mugi!" You cried out as he rutted his throbbing length up and down your folds, coating it in your slick.

"So wet for me" He purred against your ear, nibbling the shell of it. "Do you want it inside?~"

"Please! I need your cock!"

He lined his tip up with your entrance, pushing it in agonisingly slow and drawing out a low moan from your lips.

"G-god, you're so fucking tight baby" Tsumugi hissed into your ear as you wrapped your legs around his waist, forcing him in deeper. Burying your face into his shoulder, you chanted his name like a prayer as he stretched you out. It burned slightly, but it was the best pain you'd ever experienced.

"So big-Ah!" You babbled, digging your nails into Tsumugis shirt and holding on for dear life. He bottomed out inside of you, his tip kissing your cervix and his balls flush against your skin. You felt so full.

He gave you a few seconds to adjust to his size before giving you a sloppy kiss on the lips. "Can I move, princess?" He muttered, hot breath tickling the side of your face.

You nodded frantically, "Please!~"

That was all the prompting he needed. In a swift motion, he pulled out, leaving only the tip inside before thrusting back in brutally and bottoming out again. He set a rough pace, the sound of his balls slapping your skin filling the room along with the squelched noises of your hole.

"Such a good girl, t-taking me so well" He praised you, peppering kisses across your face. "So beautiful"

You tried to reply, but all that came out was a straggled moan as Tsumugi hit that sweet spot inside you. You clawed at his back, the pleasure taking over your mind.

"Yeah? Right there?~" The blue haired idol teased, angling his hips to continue abusing your g-spot. Tears pooled in your eyes, you had never felt this good before. "You like that baby?"

"Yes! G-god, love it s-so much!" You groaned, pulling him in for another heated kiss. You could feel the knot in your stomach threatening to snap again. "Needa cum!"

"Gonna cum for me princess? Gonna milk my cock dry?" Tsumugi's thrusts were becoming more uneven and messy, he was close too. "F-fuck, you drive me crazy. Wanna fuck you every chance I get. Fuck you round with my kids. You want that baby? You want my cum?"

"Yes, yes, yes! Wanna be a mommy, wanna carry your babies!"

With one practically hard thrust, the knot in your stomach snapped for the second time that night. Your whole body spasmed, vision going blurry and your walls clenching and milking Tsumugis length. A loud moan ripped from your throat and you were sure everyone outside could hear you.

"Fuck, (name)!" Tsumugi came not long after you, coating your walls white and filling you to the brim with his cum. He continued to slowly rock his hips against yours as you both rode out your highs, panting heavily.

The two of you stayed in that position for a moment, catching your breath and enjoying eachothers warmth. You felt his member soften inside you.

"Are you alright?" Tsumugi broke the silence, gently pulling out of you and helping you to the floor, sitting down in front of you. "That wasn't too rough?"

You shook your head, resting it on his shoulder, "No, it was amazing. You were amazing"

"Good, I'm glad" He placed a soft kiss to your forehead, rubbing circles on your back. "Do you wanna go back out there?"

"Hm, can we stay like this for a bit longer? My legs are sore"

"Yeah, of course, princess"

#ensemble stars #ensemble stars oneshot #ensemble stars x reader #enstars #enstars x reader #oneshot #tsumugi aoba x reader #tsumugi aoba #switch enstars #ensemble stars smut #enstars smut

[brandnewhuman]

Also I had a thought: how would the slashers (specifically bo and Vincent) react to you shoving your face in their chest like so

I saw Osirisv (I think that’s their url) do it in art form but I’d love to see it in a written form, such as a headcanon. I feel like they would all react differently depending on which slasher you’re referring to, y’know? Anyway hope you have a good day/night lovely!

READER PLANTING

THEIR FACE ON

THE SLASHER'S

BADOONKAS

[Sinclair Twins edition]

CONTENT:

Bo Sinclair - Vincent Sinclair

Tw: head full, so many horny thoughts. NSFW, mature language

A/n: THIS REMINDED ME OF THIS ONE TIKTOK SOUND. Anyway I think I saw the post you're talking about and I THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING. I was like "damn...all those tiddies and no one is writing about them". But fear do not cause im here to get all of us to horny jail. I hope its okay if did only the twins, if you want other slashers I can do them in a part two!

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

BO SINCLAIR:

Every time I watch house of wax and Bo comes out in that black suit i- 

They knew what they were doing when they decided to do that shit

I haven't known a single day of peace since

Onto business now

HE IS WEARING THE DAMN SUIT

He should've seen it coming, honestly. 

He's going around with all of that and expects you to do nothing about it? Not today Satan 

You just casually approach him as he is fixing his hair in front of the mirror

He senses your unhinged thoughts from miles away

"Goddammit y/n just do it instead already!!" 

That's all you needed.

He didn't even finished the whole sentence that you're already attempting to your own life by suffocating your face in Bo's glorious chest

HEAR ME OUT. he's like really fit and he's not ripped but he has definition in his muscles right? THE TIDDIES THO

SOFT TIDDIES AND SQUEEZABLE 

while you're in your personal piece of heaven he's just like contemplating his life decisions 

This tall ass bitch acts all tough but as soon as your face is touching his chest he's blushing like an idiot. 

His own horny bastard brain decides to match your energy and he just smirks

"You know… if you really like me so much you should really show me how grateful you are for em, don't ya think doll?" *boner alert* 

I- I can't excuse myself I'm sorry

IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE'S A WHORE

moral of the story, if you do this Bo is gonna get horny and either fuck you into oblivion or just having his head full of sinful thoughts 

VINCENT SINCLAIR:

I think you would genuinely kill him if you do something like this 

But like "oh shy uwu boi" but more like "im restraining myself and my unholy thoughts from auto combustion" 

He's always so focused on his work that most of the he doesn't even pays attention to what anyone's saying 

So when you ask "can I squeeze your boobs" he just absentmindedly nods while, ironically, trying to get the perfect boots shape of one of his wax figures 

He realise when is too late and you're already assaulting his chest by squeezing it and slamming your face against it 

Baby boy is flabbergasted. 

He awkwardly pats your head and stares into the void while his only working brain cell thinks about very naughty things 

He feels so guilty about it

Babe has never experienced things like this so he feels like one wrong move could ruin the mood 

Grateful for the mask covering his now red face

I have this strong feeling that Vinny's chest is less soft than Bo's. Like he's a little bit more on the just fit side than toned or muscular 

He's not gonna be like bo and just be a whore on main out of the blue 

But he's gonna think about how you soft hands (smaller or bigger depending on how yours are) feel against his chest, how he can feel your warm breath against his skin even if he's wearing a shirt and the you intoxicating scent invading his senses 

Yeah he's gonna think about that a lot, when he's alone, preferably in the bathroom with the door locked. 

#slashers #slasher community #slasher fandom #horror movies #slasher fanfiction #slasher x reader #bo sinclair #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #bo sinclair x reader #house of wax

[finniestoncrane]

!!! hi finnie congrats on getting 1.5k followers you totally deserve it!! 💚💜!! im very kindly putting my silly little order down. im giving you creative freedom mostly I trust your judgement!

Delivery, Black Coffee, Question Mark Shaped Nuggies (btas specifically please!), Sweet Potato Fries

I genuinely hope this is enough to work with! congratulations again finnie you deserve all the accolades that you’ve earned so far!

btas!riddler x gn!reader, word count: 350 content (warnings): mostly just hcs about eddie being eddie, kind of domestic (or incarcerated) fluff lol orders open here! 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block) a/n: ah ty my sweet!! i'm so excited to write more of this charming man omg💚

eddie sits at the same table for visitation periods each time

you've never really questioned it, he is a man of habit after all, of compulsions

you did made one comment about how it wasn't particularly the most discreet table

to which you were given a lecture on the fact that being in the center of the action muffles what you might discuss, and the location of the table towards the middle of the room offers less chance of your words to each other being caught in an echo trap

all of which you listened to with wide eyes, chin balanced on your hands, grateful for each word

you were certain that if you didn't have such strong, and persistent, memories of how his touch felt, how his skin felt against yours

that his words would be the thing you missed most of all

and he's more than happy to provide you with those while you're there

he rarely speaks about what he's been doing or how he's been feeling

partly to keep that information from you in a protective sense, not wanting to worry you over his boredom and frustration

but also because admitting it out loud would make it impossible for him to ignore

right now, he can pretend that he's content, happy to wait out his sentence and return to his work

and more importantly, return to you

once he's fed you enough information to have your brain whizzing, he turns his attentions to you and the outside world

always keen to know if you're keeping busy

which you should be, because ever prepared edward nygma was organised

while he would never doubt his own intelligence, he had to prepare for the possibility that he would have been caught

so you're well-stocked with his notebooks, plans and scheme for you to ponder over, to offer him assistance on when he's free once again

and of course, there's the riddles he left behind, each one's answer leading you to a gift, or a place, something special to you

so it never really feels like you're without him at all

#finnie writes #finnie1500

[lestappenforever]

hi angel c:

i wanted to introduce myself, mclaren video anon is here *shyly waves his hand*

I'm from Czechia so English is not my first language and not even near to it so I'm really sorry if this ask gonna be a mess,, 🥴

I also wrote some Lestappen dynamics asks (for example this one https://www.tumblr.com/lestappenforever/728150895813115904/i-love-lestappen-dynamic-i-love-how-similar-and?source=share), Oblivious Charles Leclerc idea (https://www.tumblr.com/lestappenforever/728236675926556673/i-was-thinking-about-how-the-topic-of-oblivious?source=share), quatar shit-show and a lot of other screaming 👉🏻👈🏻

also I'm the one who's engi-nearing his limit at uni. I'm feeling better now! even though I have some tests already coming next week and I really need to study hard but how am I supposed to do that when LESTAPPEN HAD THE PADEL DATE AND NOW IM CRAVING FOR CONTENT???? I really REALLY HOPE that we'll have some photos. please. Universe, HEAR ME OUT IT'S LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION we need that.

yk I came to F1 cause of cars. I love cars with all my soul. for me it's the most beautiful creation of humanity. cars. cars. and I was like ok cars racing adrenaline and now? here I am screaming about some gay married couples again. I thought it would be my straightest interest. but who am I kidding? 20 men on a grid. how that was supposed to be straight?????

to this ask: I KNOW RIGHT??? IM STILL NOW OVER IT IT'S DEFINITELY THE LOWEST I HEARD HIS VOICE EVER https://www.tumblr.com/lestappenforever/731046319552151552/i-just-want-to-say-remember-that-anon-who-said-in?source=share

Mona, I love you and your blog. I'm so grateful that you're posting all of these, that you're so open to anons and it's so comfortable here😭 THANK YOUUUU THANK YOU THANK YOU you're the best you're the loveliest you're the sunshine and the bless to this fandom

and to end this long ask wanna say about your fanfics. angels roll the dice is a masterpiece. cause of fucking course it's a masterpiece. and the 2nd part of it is my FAVOURITE fanfic about the marriage. every time when I'm feeling lonely I open it and reading. the shoe game is the best part, I'm laughing so hard even though I'm reading it for the 20th time. and the 3rd part... oh my god. I was a bit scared that it's gonna be angsty but I was like "Mona wrote that. C'mon, Denis, you need to read that, whatever it is, it's gonna be a masterpiece". and it was. realistic and so Lestappen-coded. that was beautiful.

19 times the grid saved Lestappen? I couldn't drink my coffee cause of laugh. Let them sing? shit that was so HOT. Lap dance with THAT dirty talk? I was dead. Not Fucking Leaving? couldn't survive that. Mona, you're absolutely my favourite writer on ao3. I don't have enough words to express all my THANK YOU's for you

I hope you're okay, I love you and you are the best

*gives a hug if it's permitted*

Oh my God, Denis (love your name, by the way), hi, hello! It’s so nice to be able to put a name and a blog to some of my absolute favorite anon asks, so I'm so happy you decided to send me an ask off anon. ❤️

I love Czechia - it’s such a beautiful country. And don’t you worry, your English is great and absolutely nothing you ever need to apologize for.

I'm so happy to hear that you’re feeling better about uni, and I am absolutely certain that you’re going to nail your tests next week! And I am so with you about needing more Lestappen content following that padel date - we have honestly been deprived, and I'm crossing everything I have that some high quality photos and videos will appear in the coming days.

Cars are truly beautiful, wonderful creations, and I very much understand why your love for cars would bring you to F1. And I'm so glad it did, because I wouldn’t be having the pleasure of talking to you right now if it wasn’t for that! Even if it did turn out to be as straight of an interest as you had anticipated. 😂

Denis, I don’t think I can express in words how much your ask means to me, and how happy I am to know that you enjoy my blog and that you feel welcome and comfortable here. Because you are so very welcome here - you and everyone else who would like to come into my ask box, on anon or off, or anyone who just want to scroll through my blog in silence. You are so lovely and wonderful and kind, and your ask has truly made my day. I love you. ❤️

And I am so, so incredibly happy and grateful for your kind words about my fics. Nothing makes me happier than knowing my writing can bring such joy to others. Knowing that my words can evoke such emotions in my readers is such a huge honor.

I'm your favorite writer on AO3? 🥹 Please excuse me while I go sob from overwhelming happiness for a while.

Thank you so, so, so very much for this ask, Denis - I love it as much as I've loved each of the asks you’ve sent me on anon in the past, and I hope you know that you can come into my ask box whenever, about whatever, or send me a DM. I hope you’re having a beautiful Saturday, you are absolutely wonderful, and I love you too. ❤️

And I'll happily take a hug any day. 🤗

#Asks #Personal #Not me actually crying a little bit as I read this and typed out my response #paint-it-red-and-black #Denis ❤️

[jovenshires]

i personally feel like if you're writing rpf you've gotta be prepared that the people you're writing about do have internet access and aren't clueless y'know? like. i understand not wanting them to see it and for their sake id hope they wouldn't either but no one is entitled to write about a real person and then demand that real person can't access something that is literally About Them. like. just bc they're "famous" doesn't make them public domain yknow.

now i do find those youtubers read fanfic videos kinda cringe personally too bc i mean they always have to choose bad or funny ones otherwise itd be 10h long and awkward. but yeah im also like. those people chose to write and upload those somewhere on a public forum that the people they're writing about Do have access to. i feel like that just comes with the territory in rpf. they aren't fictional and they can in fact read those. if you don't want them to it should be shared somewhere very personal imo.

but yeah obviously since the majority of the fics that do get picked for those vids are probably written by teenagers i do feel kinda bad for them for that but i feel like thats a hard lesson in that those people are in fact real and can see it. i never rly enjoy the content where ppl read fanfics about themselves tho for this reason. but if this is going to be submitted ones i think that might be funny and definitely a better way to go about this on their part. i still dread it tho and will probably cringe out of my skin (also i wonder who that video will include...)

i do agree with you. i put a warning before all my fics in the hopes that they won't read it, but as my dear friend mer always says, i'm not a cop. i can't control what you do. and i joke that i want spencer agnew to block me but it's just that - a joke (well, a half-joke). if they're seeking this out, that's on them at that point. they are grownups; they know how the internet works and they know how to avoid things and how to search them out. i can't even really be pissed if they put my work in a video, bc hey, it's out there (even if i would rather they didn't look in my general direction). but at the same time, i will say this:

i am making these things about smosh members, but they're certainly not for smosh members. they can read them if they wish or use them if they wish (like i said i literally cant do anything to stop them bc, you're right, we do publish these things publically) but they're not made for them. so when they read them and they're like "oh, that's weird, who would write something like that," well. it wasn't intended for them to read in the first place. and now they've gone and alienated a bunch of people who looked up to them. people who watched their content and were inspired to create something. it's kind of hard to stomach when they're mocking a portion of their fanbase - and not only are they mocking them, but they're making them a butt of the joke for other portions of their fan base. they uplift fan artists and video editors, but fic authors for some reason are always looked down upon. i think there's a difference between acknowledging it exists / talking about it and directly making content to target it you know.

i don't know if there's a "lesson" to be learned from all this. i don't personally think those teens who were writing that fanfiction deserve to be ridiculed for it. i think they'd found a way to express themselves and that's great. i personally hadn't written for months when i started writing smosh fic again, and writing is truly one of my biggest passions in life. the smosh cast, who i'm incredibly grateful for, led me back to it. but i digress; maybe i'm just naive.

i'll also add: i'm not saying, like, fuck the smosh cast for this btw. like i do agree it is their right to look at things on the internet made about them and use it for content. they're even allowed to make fun of it. i'm sure to some people it is weird to read stuff like that about yourself, they're allowed to say that and have that opinion. so go ham, make this kind of video all you want. im just saying it's kind of a dick move and i personally am not a fan of it. but im not gonna stop watching smosh over it or anything and i don't think the cast is worse people for it. i just dislike this kind of video. i dislike a lot of videos - i don't enjoy the tntl trivial pursuit videos and the fortnite videos either. this doesn't make me any less of a fan of theirs, just an opinionated fan.

anyway, like i said, i'm glad it's submitted fics - truly, i'm thrilled. it's still not for me (like i said i already have a hard enough time watching smosh pit theater........ i simply cant do this) but i think it's fine and a good way to go about it!! i hope the video is, for everyone who enjoys this kind of thing, a good video. as for whos gonna be in it - could be anybody at this point (ive read so many pairings yall have no idea) but im so certain i/anthony is gonna be there.

tldr: i do agree, but i also think the renditions of this they've done in the past have mocked fic writers for no good reason. if you want to watch the video i hope you enjoy, and i'm glad they're using submitted fics this time ! <3

#long post #discourse #spt #ask #asks #anon #anonymous #sorry this took so long and sorry this is such a long post nsdlfksfr i am done now i promise #i think ive said all i have to say on the topic anyway <3

[i-sveikata]

I've been reading various fanfics dealing with the series for a year now. Endless variations of Vegas and Pete, Kim and Chay... One shots, novels, longer stories. I feel like almost everything has been said and thought about. The fleshing out of the canon, the back story, the childhood and what might come after.

I developed a real addiction and couldn't get enough, especially of the complex relationship between Vegas and Pete and their respective very multi-faceted characters. The number of authors is huge, but I also spent a lot of time reading them. To my dismay, I am noticing signs of fatigue in me.

Now that everything seems to have been said, every possible happy or tragic ending seems to have been thought out and told, many fics veer off into alternative universes and genres.

It's all wonderful to read and I'm grateful that there are so many unknown but worthwhile authors whose work will never be printed but who are worthy of a large readership.

But: Since fanfiction is tied to concrete people and concrete, and to a readership that has seen the series. How do you see the future? The actors will take on new roles, if all goes well, new beautiful plots will be developed there too and good series or films will be made.

How long can the hype around KinnPorsch and the series continue? Do you have the feeling that everything is coming to an end, now that the anniversary of KP is being celebrated in a big way? Is boredom creeping up on you or is the end not yet in sight and is there still a lot that needs to be written? I have also asked this question to other writers because it really bothers me, but I would be interested in YOUR answer.

Hi there!! hmm interesting question and I don't really want to discount how youre feeling or anything but i do very much doubt that everything that could be possibly said and thought about for this fandom has been done already.

because this show isn't really that old? and the age of the show or when it finished really has no bearing on the existing fandom if you think about it. at a certain point fandom breaks away and becomes its own separate entity.

like i wouldnt say im an expert but the things that keep fandom alive are not really even directly related to whether there's new episodes or video clips or content about the actors from the show that the fans can consume.

take teen wolf for example (because its a fandom ive been in the longest) that show ended in 2017 and literally as of now when i've just checked it on ao3 it has 106,344 works written for it. A show that started in 2011 and finished six years ago. And people are still posting stories for it today! (i myself still have some WIPs which i eventually intend to finish off and share) ignoring the fact that there was a teen wolf movie recently that hardly anyone in the fandom watched it's still inspiring fic, and fanart even now six years later.

and why is that? because there's no time limit on a fandom, it's because of the fans creating things like fanart, fanfic, playlists, gifs, meta analysis, tumblr posts, twitter posts, fandom discords etc. because having a constantly running tv show or a movie or book doesn't keep a fandom alive. fans do.

to compare right now, the works i can see in kinnporsche tv series tag in ao3 havent even topped 10,000 yet. like seriously let that sink in. 106,344 fics to 9,556. like im not really trying to compare right now but its just to give you some idea that KP in particular is really just starting out, like we are literally dealing with a baby fandom here so i wouldnt despair just yet that people have already run out of ideas or that its already finished because if you have dedicated fans behind you you can end up with literally over one hundred thousand stories to read about that fandom. and tbh teen wolf isn't even the biggest fandom out there!!

And if you are feeling fatigue with the KP fandom right now then of course i would recommend stepping away from it for a while in order to give yourself a break. because at the end of the day it is totally up to you to customise your own experience.

im not really sure why it matters whether authors writing for this fandom will be published or not? im mean they literally cant legally publish fandom works? or profit off it? not without sanding the story down to repurpose it for entirely new characters. but you can always save or download copies of your favourite KP fic and if you are interested in a physical copy you could always get these bound into a book yourself (with permission from the fic authors of course).

im also a little hesitant to address the comment about 'worthwhile authors being worthy of a large readership' because it kind of discounts all of the other authors who are putting their time and effort into posting stories and might not be getting the same level of comments or kudos or attention as others. like the whole point of keeping a fandom alive is to interact with all of it and if you want to encourage more content than that means dealing with the fandom at a community level. (im not talking about the dont like/dont read elements of fandom obviously the rule of thumb there is to just click out)

But i personally really dont like the idea of setting some authors above the rest because their stories might have gotten more attention or traction within a fandom. it's meant to be a community. not a hierarchy. nobody should be on a pedestal in fandom. and i would hesitate to put any number of people above anyone else for this reason. like we really all are just people being inspired by the things we watch and experience. and by suggesting that some authors might be 'worthy' it also implies that others are not, which kind of goes against the spirit of fandom imo and can be really discouraging for people creating art or fic that might not be getting as much likes, reblogs, kudos, comments etc compared to others.

I also just want to point out that a lot of people come into fandoms without having ever watched the specific content that the fandom might be about? its actually a very common thing and they still read and engage with the fandom anyway in spite of this? so its really not tied to specific people or a readership that has watched the series.

At the end of the day i really don't think hype is what keeps a fandom alive, it's the dedicated people within that community who like and share and comment and talk to each other about the stories they love.

personally im not at all bored with this fandom (and tbh im still not bored with teen wolf lol) so i hope you aren't discouraged by the idea that a fandom simply will fall apart without its tv show because i absolutely can reassure you that it wont!

and also, taking time from a fandom can also mean that when you are ready to come back there's always the possibility of falling in love all over again. so really dont let the fatigue bother you! just because your love might be waning for the show doesn't mean that others are feeling the same way! there's always plenty more for people to share and enjoy and talk about so its not really over.

tbh fandoms dont ever really finish or disappear completely anyway. like at the end of the day you have platforms like ao3 where peoples works are archived for all time and tumblr where hints of fandom will always still roam about in reblog land. that kind of love doesn't just vanish!

welp this was a long response lol but i hope it helped in some way!

#on fandom #kinnporsche the series #teen wolf

[keichanz]

guys. it's happening.

i'm writing again.

and oh my GOD does it feel good. y'all i'll be completely honest, i was so scared that my motivation to write was gone. it has been so long since i've actually been inspired to write anything, and then suddenly i come across a tiktok video and BAM. like i've come across vids that make me go "hmmm that'd be a cute oneshot" and then file it away to ponder at a later time, but this particular one made me go !!!!!! and ZWHOOOP off to microsoft word i went lmao.

now please dont get too excited - i dont know when ill actually finish it, or how long it's even gonna be. at the moment i surmise maybe ten or so pages. but yall know me - it could be way longer than that lol. and yes before you ask it's inukag pfftt. like i would write anything else. c'mon.

but anyway. i'm writing again and i'm so happy adj;ifa;lf. no i will not post the video that inspired me lmaooo y'all gonna have to wait until i post it huehuehue~ i just hope it doesn't turn out as complete trash because i haven't written anything in so long pfftt

in addition, since im making a post, ill also take the opportunity to say that i'm going to be moving most of my fanfiction from ffnet onto ao3 eventually. possibly near future. i say most because there are a few fics that i have no problem dying right along with ffnet.

if there is a certain fic of mine on ffnet that you want to read on ao3, drop a line and lemme know. if its one i plan on not posting on there, if it gets enough "votes," ill consider posting it.

thanks guys. for hanging around this long and being patient with me, i mean. i know ive probs lost a few followers for being so inactive, which that's fine, it happens. but im grateful for all of you that stuck around with me this long. and i really hope this oneshot i'm writing is worth the very long wait for new content lol. who knows maybe ill have it done in time for christmas 👀

i love you all ❤️

keiz

#dammit keiz #IM ALIVE #keizfanfiction #YEEE

[lemony-snickers]

Im really proud of you for choosing what feels right for you, rather than what you think people expect of you. It can be a really hard thing to do and you're doing it. You've created some absolutely gorgeous work, and we will continue to love them, but you are under no obligation to continue something that hurts you. You deserve better than that and I completely relate. There are months and months every year where I can't write. I don't want to, it hurts to try, so I don't. Inevitably an idea comes, I work on that, and then I stop when it doesn't make me happy to continue. It's an extremely healthy thing to do according to my psychologist, because writing is meant to be a hobby. When it stops being that, it's time to step away until you come back to it naturally. I hope one day you see the value in yourself and your work, but for now, rest, recuperate, find what brings you joy in the here and now because ultimately that's what matters most -- 💚

i do wish i could write forever, you know? but it just isn't sustainable. i think i've just fundamentally broken the part of me that used to enjoy doing it by trying so hard and so long for nothing (or, to be more fair, i suppose, what amounts to very little).

i used to work as a content writer. for like two years pre-pandemic, i churned out 8k words on average per day as my job. i thought i was good at it, but it turns out i wasn't good enough at it. and i definitely supplanted that same desire to write so much with fanfiction after i lost my job, especially during quarantine.

like, this drive to create something had to be put to some use, you know? and fanfic was it. and then i tried some original writing, which no one wanted anything to do with and after about two dozen rejections i finally just quit writing original content altogether because it just hurts to have everyone say, "oh, no thank you" every time you put yourself out there.

i guess i had hoped fanfiction would be able to fill this, like, gaping wound i have created in myself, but that was an unfair thing to expect. i was never going to be as satisfied by this as i wanted to be because, as i said recently, i kept moving the goal post, you know? kept saying, "okay, well that was fine, but i want more."

more engagement, more love, more sense of accomplishment. more recognition. i'm a very solipsistic person at heart, i guess, huh? maybe we all are, idk.

but there's only so much of any of those things i can get doing what i am doing, being who i am and subscribing to the limitations thereof.

i don't know what is "best" for me, if i'm honest. except for getting my ass back to therapy which i have been trying to do for more than a year only to be rejected over and over again just like with the writing which is--

i am getting off topic, but you can imagine how it is, probably, lol.

i am just struggling to figure out how to be satisfied with a life i find deeply disappointing, i think. and i'm not sure how i'm going to do that, but i have reached a point where writing fanfic hurts more than it helps, usually.

god i'm sorry i hijacked this thing for another self-pity wank and i don't even know how to stop myself.

thank you for the kind message. i'm sorry i am just word vomiting all the time, now. but, i hope you know i am truly grateful. and i'm so glad you are able to recognize this cycle of your own writing and to still find joy in it when you can. i hope i can learn to do that someday, too. <3

#ask #and answered #💚 anon

[harmonictechnicality]

UM HELLO MY BELOVED FRIEND?? MY HERO AND INSPIRATION?? I saw that you followed me and HONESTLY thought it was a mistake, and then when the follow persisted I was paralyzed by trying to write a message to you that was both cool and casual and grateful and now im in finals for my masters program and then i was like, "its been too long of me not saying anything shes gonna think im an ass" so please dont think im an ass, i literally have opened this app and just lit up every time i see your username and am just putting all my messy joy in a little note (WHICH feel free to not publish lol its a mess) but omg so many thoughts I want to talk to you about and also how are you and have you seen jacob c in concert yet and how amazing was it, but alas FINALS have literally turned my brain to mush (and how is it that i always seem to come across your stuff just as i fear finals are going to kill me? it was during winter finals that i found gumption, and I recently had the supreme pleasure of reading devils haircut ((SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE MAGIC SECTION IN PARTICULAR AND THEATRE SETS AND THEATRE LORE, this fic really made my brain go brrr)) and now i see that you have a new fic up titled after a regina spektor gem???) Ordinarily I'd be like, you're killing me with this good content *italian hand gesture*, but honestly you and all of your thoughts expressly give me life sO anyway I hope you're doing amazing and that spring is treating you right (many flowers, no allergies) and I hope we can chat some more soon

STOPPPPP my dearrrrr you are the sweetest!!! TRUTHFULLY - I couldn't believe I *wasn't already* following you!! I have this bad habit of running all around friendo's blogs just checking in and making sure everyone is doing well (mother goose style), and then I'll have a moment where I'm like "wait... I'm NOT following them???" But I quickly resolved this little issue as soon as I noticed it 😂

OMG I would neverrrrr think you're an ass are you kidding me??? You always leave such thoughtful messages, so absolutely no worries there!! I hope that your finals went (or are currently going) swimmingly ✨✨ rest up and hydrate and be gentle with yourself during this time, you deserve it with how much brainpower you're using.

I see Jacob Collier in liiiiiike two ish months??? (math is literally my downfall) but STILL, I am very excited to witness his genius in person.

AWW I'm so happy you liked that fic, that was such a fun one to write (especially about the M*cb*th curse 😈). And your tags on the spring fic were SO incredibly sweet, they had me STITCHES!! Thank you sooooo very much for always being so kind, you have a heart of gold! Pleaseee have the loveliest day and a restful weekend to recover from your studies!! ☀️💕🫶

[petrichoraline]

honesty hour-ing back at you!!!! what are you most looking forward to right now, both bl wise and in your own personal life (if you're comfortable sharing it of course!!!)?

(also how does it feel like to be one of the loveliest person on the planet please speak into the mic 🎤)

I remember once I was asked what I look forward to the most and I just had to list a bunch of stuff that were already out because there's just so. much. content! it's no different this time around as I am in the process of catching up with everything under the sun ✨️i don't really hear of upcoming shows until they're already out so that adds to it hahah

okay so I'm excited bout the upcoming be my favorite and hidden agenda episodes, they are both light watches for me so I'm naturally in anticipation; it's not even announced but I might be most excited about fourthgem's upcoming project :') oh, i'm very interested in last twilight (and here is the moment I realise who I'm replying to lmao because I was thinking of @ the person whose posts got me hyped up about it and- yeah. silly goose)

eternal faith (haven't read the novels yet though so I'm in no hurry); ah the cherry magic adaptation with taynew just came to mind, ig im curious to see how they handle that 😗 I also want to watch wedding plan, jun & jun, stay with me (that's a bl, lads, i've seen how those dudes look at each other and i want more), jack o'frost, cooking crush (I miss offgun suddenly its so weird), minato's upcoming episodes (asuka and shun have the potential to be the best thing that happens in jbl this year and I beg for them to not fuck it up)..*checks mdl* OMG LOVE TRACTOR im waiting for my gal to watch these two fools on a farm (not to be mistaken with the japanese fools on a farm in zenra meshi whom I am in no rush to deal with. do you know how bored and put off by posts I have to be to be uninterested in a japanese bl? sheesh)..unintentional love story is a big one cause of how passionately it was recommended to me hahah and idk if they count but s2 of good omens, heartstopper and our flag means death

there are a few (word with a subjective meaning innit) others on the watchlist and a few upcoming ones i'm so curious about, not to mention all the non-bl shows I'm eager to watch

as for my personal life (what a surprising question! sorry to be more on the private side <3) I am excited bout giffing stuff hahah I love getting the hang of it, it's a slow but fun process🌸

and for the last question..blushing crying screaming-

idk what I did to deserve such cuteness but im very grateful 🥰 I don't know, I think if you're yet to figure it out considering your solid personal experience, we might have to put our heads together to think of a proper answer 🤷‍♀️

#its called honesty hour but im taking applications all day everyday lmao i just love talking that much #the fact the question clearly states 'most excited about' and i just decided ''that has a broad meaning now let's LIST'' #thank you monica you strike me as someone who likes long rants with a 'train of thought' feel so i tried not to edit this too much #if you prefer structured ones you gotta tell me though i love pinpointing in order too 😁 #ask game #ppg #petri replies

[surrealsunday]

helloo! wow it’s been a little while ngl! but when when chap10 was posted i was like “do i read it now or wait till the epilogue is posted? 🤔” and i ended up waiting for the epilogue, idk in my head it’s as logic sjsbdb. meanwhile i decided to rewatch stranger things + skamfr kinda at the same time bc it’s been way too long (for the latter). then the epilogue was posted and haven’t found the time or energy to settle and read the last two chapters (we love uni for that). till tonight!! so here’s my not so little review of the chap10 + the epilogue 😅

-> chap10

woaaah im at loss for words for how cute and beautiful that chapter was omg! the vulnerable moment right after the intensity of their love scene hit me right in the feels, lucas’ “please don’t hurt me (again)” and then eliott hugging him tight saying “i promise” 🥺MY HEART🥺

also these little acts had me giggling and kicking my feet

gosh i’m just so giddy when it comes to them like- THEY. ARE. IN. LOVE. 🥹

OH YEAH the moment when idriss came back home and said “I swear, if you fucked in the kitchen, Eliott -" made me think of that one scene in tempo (i think) when he discovers they did it on the counter and there was like evidences or sth and i just burst out laughing 😭 like i imagined him being so done already with them (/affectionate of course)

-> epilogue

MY HEEAART!! i know i’ve said it like a million times already but i’m so soft for theeem 🥺

i really loved how eliott reassured lucas during the moving, how they once more opened a little to one another. then lucas asking him to say something true abt himself, eliott’s little story was very cute despite starting kinda sad :(( but that little parallel to the minute par minute scene but this time it’s eliott calming lucas down ☹️

but goosh i’m in love with their love, in every universe istg 🥰 like i smiled SO BIG here!

now real thing: i cant believe it’s over now :/ i’m gonna miss them so much, these version of elu is definitely one of my favorite! i wanna thank you for writing this fic that, i’m sure, helped a lot of people (including me) escape their boring ass work/uni life ahah. every time it truly has been an amazing time, even when pain was dominent sometimes. but as always i’d say sjsbsb

wishing you a wonderful friday and weekend, i’m gonna spend mine mourning elu!10things and thinking of how much their love is incredible in every universe 😭💞

gosh i just realized i forgot about to say some more things in my previous message 😭 in my defense it’s 1am so- anyways

i’m also very thankful you listened to the little voice in your brain and wrote that little epilogue, the quote of kat is one of my favorite and it’s really well included! would have been such a waste not having lucas saying this tbh.

also the last pic of chap10, eliott’s post with the shadows…wow i literally stared at it for 10 good minutes it was so well done! especially lucas’ wild hair sbsjsb (also i see you have been generous for some parts 👀)

finally, i thanked you for the fic but i also wanna be grateful to your friend julie for pressing you making this fic alive ahah, bc yeah your elu fic are really one of the most emotionally amazing and still being able to read elu content in, now, 2023 is truly incredible ♥️

Oh my gosh I somehow completely missed the notification for these messages in my inbox. I'm so sorry! I was not ignoring you, I just am a useless human 😂

As always I absolutely love hearing your thoughts. I'm so glad you liked chapter 10 🥹. It was interesting pairing smexy times with some super raw emotional nakedness. I liked it tho. It felt right and natural in the moment.

Your memes btw aldfkjalsdfkja. They kill me 😂😂😂

I thought about Idriss in Tempo too at that moment! I truly don't know why I keep doing these things to poor Idriss lmao. But I make it up to him with Manon. So I don't feel too bad 😌.

Ok, so I very much got minute-by-minute vibes in that moment of the epilogue too, but it wasn't pre-planned that way. I kinda love that you had the same reaction. It just sort of happened and as I was writing it occurred to me that it very subtly nodded to that classic Skam moment. It seems they're determined to be that way in every universe.

Ahhhh the shadow pic! It's one of my faves! I get obsessive about most things (this is not news lmao) so it wasn't surprising that I obsessed over getting those shadows right, but in the end when it did look like them I was sooooo satisfied. And yes, satisfied with the very lovely booty on Lucas too 😌. It makes me so happy you liked it too!

Really it was my absolute pleasure to share this fic, most especially because I seriously do have the best readers in the world, and you all are so generous in leaving me your thoughts and feelings about the story (there is really nothing better than that as a writer). It's a big part of me coming back to Elu over and over, I think. I love reconnecting with all of you. And of course I'm more than happy to provide distraction from real life!

P.S. I told Julie what you said and lemme tell you... the way she got all proud and puffed up on herself 😂😂😂. I told her to take it down a notch but she's already kicking into high gear on harassing me for new stories lol.

Anyways, all the love to you. Thank you again so much for sending me your thoughts as you read the story. 💖💗💞💝

#10 things fic

[gojosattoru]

hi ana! ♡♡ i believe this is my first time sending you a message and im not really active on here besides to rb while i make gifs but i just wanted to say how elated i am to know we’re mutuals! i didn’t start taking making anime gifs that seriously until i started getting really into it recently and I’m SO happy and lucky that i found your amazing blog filled with so much of your talents. when i learned that you also do it for work with the cute story time you shared i was in awe?? it led me to look at your cute icons and your past themes and omg ur such a sweet and talented soul. i kept forgetting to send an ask and seeing your latest text post gave the biggest reminder to also tell you that slumps or times that can feel like one is creeping up on you are not forever! i know that feeling of being overwhelmed with so many ideas and projects coming while having a huge load to finish but i always try to remember to focus on whats happening now than the past and especially future! and i srsly second what hyu said, isn’t she the best!?! <3 and it really helps to ground yourself in the moment - even taking frequent breaks like solo dates at a cafe or walks to find that spark back again. idk how many times I’ve felt super overwhelmed with everyone and reminded myself to go back to basics that can be as simple as taking a walk :) ILYSM!! remind yourself that you’ll be okay, easier said than done but remember that your unfavorable thoughts will never be true - they are not you! the real you is strong, SO LOVED, and can get through anything unscathed. i adore you, your energy, and art. 🖤

awwww sweetheart this literally made me tear up! honestly you are so so sweet and i felt so speechless when i saw your message darling!! ; A ; gosh i'm overwhelmed!! thank you very much for coming and send me your support too darling!! like you said we are recently mutuals and seeing a message from you to give me some of your comfort and love made me burst in joy bby! i adore adore ADORE your gifs and i was so happy you used my tracking tag hehe that gave me the opportunity to know you, see your awesome content and have the pleasure to meet and speak with you bby! *hugs* i'm super grateful to know how you enjoy my edits and icons, it's super super delightful darling really appreciate your love for them!! ; u ; and don’t worry sweetie, you can always send me a message whenever you have time ^^ this made the end of my week so much enjoyable i really thank you for that bby! it’s been tough and i’ve been trying to focus on what i have been working but my boss is always saying to stop what i’m doing and start on the new ideas so that’s why it made me feel so stressed lately... i just hope she won’t do this so much right now cause i really want to finish everything so that i can work on the new stuff in the future!! to start to sell merchandise we need to have enough stuff to begin our business that’s why i want to work on the projects she gave to me in the beginning and then when we have enough of it done, we can do the new ones.. *sighs* that’s why i am bit overwhelmed with ideas and feeling a bit tired.. but like you said i will rest this weekend and try go outside and go for a walk and enjoy myself! hopefully on monday i will be completely recharged and keep on doing my work 100% ^^ thank you once again for hearing me out, for sending me your lovely message and for being so kind darling! hope we can talk more in the future to know each other better hehe ^^ really will take your words to my heart and think on them whenever i feel down bby! ilysm too sweetie!! this means a lot to me seriously!! *smooches you all over* wish you a wonderful weekned and can’t wait to see more of your works <333 hehe take care too my love thank you again! this was so precious ; U ;

#reply #lovely messages #friends #byuntoro

[gladiolidiaries]

quackity priv tweets talking about content/his english audience

12/22/22: im feeling under the weather guys no driving stream i am sorry :(

12/20/22: ME AND F**LISH (FOOLISH) ARE GOING ON A DRIVING DATE TOMORROW AND IM STREAMING IT (DONT TELL HIM ITS A DATE)))(

12/7/22: Want to take the time to thank all the English speaking viewers who take the time to learn o try to learn the Spanish language to understand some of the content. It’s the coolest and cutest thing ever. Don’t worry to those who don’t anyway, lots of HUGE stuff coming for yall

10/19/22: I’m genuinely upset that throughout my career I’ve been seen as a horrible cook for all the silly little cooking streams I’ve done, when I OBVIOUSLY am not that shit at cooking. On Saturday I’ll do an actual serious cooking stream to prove all of you wrong because I’m sick of it

10/11/22: thank u guys for being so sweet and so nice to me at twitchcon. had a blast meeting every single one of you, both from my English speaking and Spanish speaking community i will proceed to yell from happiness AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

9/25/22: DOING A SHORT SPANISH STREAM THEN DOING THE $5k CLOTHES STREAM RIGHT AFTER ❤️

9/22/22: FUN STWEAM THIS WEEKEND

9/17/22: i'm going through so much footage and so many scripts that explain SO much. I wrote all the scene contexts with such depth, this is gonna be amazing

9/15/22: In one of the upcoming days I’ll be doing a FULL ON behind the scenes stream of ALL the Las Nevadas footage/scripts/images/bloopers I’ve obtained throughout almost 2 years of DSMP. :)

9/12/22: I WANNA DO A DRIVING STREAM AGAIN SO BAD

9/7/22: IM SO FUCKING NERVOUS THIS NEXT LORE STREAM IS A LITERAL MOVIE IM GETTING SHAKY JUST EDITING IT I CANT BELIEVE WHAT IM LOOKING AT OMFG. AND YALL KNOW I DONT OVERHYPE WHERE THERE IS NO HYPE THIS IS FUCKING THE GREATEST THING EVER; LORE STREAM TIME WILL BE ANNOUNCED TOMORROW

9/2/22: BIG ANNOUNCEMENT TODAY

8/25/22: i cant believe how fucking crazy this whole lore is ending up looking like lol

8/13/22: Despite it being short, had so much fucking fun with this stream can’t wait to do it again soon. Love and appreciate u guys so much

8/12/22: MAIN CHANNEL VIDEO OUT TOMORROW (SATURDAY) DRIVING STREAM TOMORROW (SATURDAY) ALSO OPENING THIS ACCOUNT RIGHT NOW

8/11/22: BIG VIDEO BIG STREAM BIG LORE THE DELIVERY DATE ON ALL OF THESE IS VERY APPROXIMATE IN TIME

7/30/22: I just hit a million subscribers on my Spanish channel and I cannot thank you guys enough for everything. Iwouldn’t be able to do this in Spanish if not for the insane support my English community has brought me throughout the years. Love and appreciate you all so much ❤️; It may not seem out of the ordinary but being able to do all this in Spanish as well has been a dream I’ve had since I was a kid. I feel so blessed to have TWO amazing communities. Cant wait to bring a lot more incredible content to everyone!!!!

7/27/22: miss u guys!!

6/26/22: I REALLY MEAN IT WHEN I SAY I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU GUYS SO MUCH ❤️; I feel so emotional, a few days ago I got to stand inside the boxing ring of the BIGGEST ever Twitch event ever made in history with many of my Spanish friends. You guys have given me these opportunities and I’m so fucking grateful to have TWO massive and supportive communities!

6/15/22: For the next 3 days (or less) I’m participating in a huge Spanish Minecraft event on my alt Twitch channel :-) Super appreciative of those who come and support the streams despite not knowing Spanish. In one of these days I’ll raid into my main and do an English stream btw ^_^

4/11/22: MY VIDEO IS NEARLY FINISHED SO MANY BIG THINGS COMING IM SO EXCITED I LOVE U ALL I CANT WAIT

4/2/22: Hey guys, sorry for the lack of activity recently. I’ve been working hard on literally my favorite fucking video of all time. I say this for each video I make and I mean it every time. It’s coming out soon and im so fucking excited for you guys to see. Big fucking plans ahead ily

3/20/22: i remember after working on my last lore stream every day from morning to night for a month, i remember the morning after the stream, i woke up at 5AM and i literally just went to the beach and sat there for an hour it was so nice. im so happy to see everyone getting the merch; i have so many projects in the works and i can’t wait to replicate this feeling many more times in my life

3/9/22: I just filmed the most incredible video I think I’ve ever done in my career. I’m so fucking happy for these opportunities. Love you all I’m so excited to show you

2/24/22: AHHHHHHH school has been super difficult on me recently but i have so many projects on standby ready to go!!! thank you guys so much for the patience i promise theres some really big stuff for you all soon!!!!

2/21/22: STREAMS BACK IN FULL FORCE SOON 😈😈😈 HAVE A BUNCHA COOL THINGS PLANNED BUT ID STILL LOVE 2 KNOW WHAT U GUYS WANNA SEE

2/12/22: i miss you guys. ive been incredibly busy but working some incredible fucking stuff. i feel excited and very blessed

oh thanks for sending that. i think deep down he probably wants to shift to Spanish only but knows that a big % of people are attached to his english content so he keeps trying to say that things are coming

[wrapped-up]

ELLO FRIEND! 🌙🌙

it's been ages! how have you been? hope everything's good and well for you! things have been hectic but in getting my life back on track i am properly caught up and just jumped with joy at the email for the new chapter. and now I have thoughts™.

first of all is marlene is genuinely hilarious. oh my GOD she's so fucking funny, her povs are such joy and it's so fun to see how you develop her (and lily for that matter) with her own voice (since of course before you've only done remus sirius povs) I love it!! the content is brilliant! there's something so hilariously authentic in her interactions with people and the conversations - like the one with alan digby and his wife sandra who went up everest and didn't come back down?? literally where else are you going to find that shit it's priceless

second. DORCAS! so happy to finally meet her! the way you described her (and how marlene fancies her) had my heart ready to explode, she's wonderful and im very excited to see how that relationship progresses as the funeral/churchy stuff is all over now. my best bet is that marlene in her cotton wool brain is going to end up going back to the church just to see her and like.. have to pretend she's interested in religion when really she's just gay and pining. but honestly who knows. i can never predict your narratives and it makes them so much more fun

thirdly. remus and sirius. HELLO. remus is such a mess it's almost comical, when he banged himself into the pew because he caught sight of sirius in the silk shirt... oh you MESS. they're so enamoured with each other it's crazy you can FEEL it. and it's so inevitable that remus is going to end up going back to him considering how easily he cracks (example, the dancing scene with himself letting him look. my gosh.) they're like fucking magnets. also i am horribly attached to this little garden that sirius loves so much and i cant wait to see how it progresses and what lawyer-y stuff remus does to try and help save it. if sirius isn't already in love he is going to fall HARD

okay. this is getting too long i'm sorry but i need to talk about lily. she's wonderful. i know i said earlier all of your characters are so authentic and real but lily has to be the best of the bunch. she's just the perfect example of what it is to be a woman. her insecurities and her thought processes sometimes get me RIGHT in the chest, her endometriosis is so important and amazing to see represented so brazenly because reproductive issues with uterus owners are talked about so little! taboos on this stuff sucks! taboos on womanhood in general sucks! i personally want to give lily a little cuddle and tell her how wonderful she's doing but i cannot so i'm gonna need her and james to sort their stuff out so he can (your JP is so so wonderful by the way i'm halfway in love with him and i love what you've done with the J/L dynamic! they're feeling like right person wrong time, and I love that it's lily who kind of has to figure herself out before they come back together. it's so real; i've literally had a relationship like that. you always make me re-fall in love with jily so quickly and i love it <3)

okay there's many more things i could say but this is way too long so i'll stop here. thank you for your writing! the update made my day and your characters are near and dear to my heart. have a good one 🌙🌙🌙🤍🤍🤍

Hello dearest! 🌙 I hope you're doing well, and I'm very glad to hear that things are looking up! I'm really good thanks, just sort of mulling around writing the odd paragraph, eating blueberries and occasionally doing a bit of 'real' work.

Can I just say that when I saw this in my inbox, I gave a little squeal of joy?! You spoil me with such thorough and enthusiastic feedback and I'm ever grateful.

I'm so so pleased you're enjoying Marlene! I have also become very fond of her as I've been writing and I just love trying on her thoughts when it comes to her chapters. I'm also enjoying the Alan love because he's destined for great things!

Ooh, Dorcas. I can't tell you the patience I have had to exercise waiting to introduce her. I feel like in other fics I've written, she's never been quite fully formed in my head. This time, I've got a better idea of where I want her to go.

Sirius and Remus = tragic. Come on boys, just have a little cuddle.

Thank you for saying that about Lily. I read so much stuff where she's just this perfect, virginal figure and I just... can't see it. She's surely going to be just as messy as the rest of them!

Anyway, thank you again. I'm so thrilled you're having fun and wish you all the best for the coming weeks!

#we never went to church #wnwtc