#i’m starting to get sick of her

[catastrxblues]

great i think i’ve finally caught a hint of a cold. my question is, where the fuck were you a month ago, when i could actually afford to take a day off?????

#😭 #my throat is starting to feel a bit ehhhh and then my nose is runny and i keep sneezing *sighs* #make sense considering that i spent almost the entire weekend outside and that it kept raining once i was going home so #bjt still #also that part about loving chemistry and stuff I LIED #i’m starting to get sick of her #i spent the first five days of this week (well technically last because it’s already 12:17 am but) crying and stressing over it #and then the entirety of this weekend at school studying it #AND THEN i’m going to have to spend the entirety of next week ALSO studying it #and by entirety i mean entirety!!! like i’ll be excused from all classes nrxt week (from morning to afternoon pretty sure) to study the #materials. AND THEN this guy had the audacity to still keep the chem extracurricular going after school on monday 😭 #and we usually go on until five HELP ME #AND THEN after that i have extra course and GUESS WHAT. on monday we have physics and CHEM. chem again 😭 #the worst thing about this is that i knoww i’m not good enough to pass the first round anyways you know #it’s like i’m suffering through this for nothing it’s just aghhhh #bismillah though i guess #*smiling through the pain* #chem tag #nadirants

[xxviridian]

alright— !!

starting off strong with madoka magica! rant & heavy spoilers ahead!

i’ve been seeing a lot of madoka magica hate recently, on most of my social media platforms, solely because dudebros love to hate on magical girls, specifically madoka.

“she’s so weak”

“gun level only”

“character x beats her easily”

like alright bro just say you know nothing about madoka and her story and move on. i won’t get too into the details but it’s the fact that madoka, after becoming a goddess, who really isn’t bc she’s a literal concept so she doesn’t exist in anyone’s mind so no one even knows she’s real, who then can literally be anywhere and nowhere at once, due to her being said concept on an (every)universal level; has the ability to REWRITE said universes at a literal whims notice. doesn’t even have to construct the ability she just wills it to be done and it is.

calling her weak when even if she doesn’t rewrite your entire universe’s lore and any abilities attached to said universe, her power scales so beyond she practically one shots everything. and it’s not even like madoka WOULD do any of this! her morals to do good and to BE good are so straightforward and pointed in the morally right direction that she wouldn’t even consider anything a threat.

the only person who is shown to even touch a minuscule amount of her power was demon homura, when feigning death and trapping her in time itself. splitting her from her concept/godlike body. and that ALONE is far more powerful than most characters people pit the magical girls against.

genuinely, i just don’t understand the madoka hate when she’s just as op as any other mc. she’s played dirty solely bc she’s from a “ha-ha” cutesy magical girl anime and it drives me nuts.

#v rants #anime #puella magi madoka magica #anime rant #I haven’t watched/read madoka in so long #but i’m so sick of seeing the hate she gets #she’s so op like #don’t even get me started on her witch form #pulling my hair out #istg im gonna scream #madoka kaname #homura akemi #pmmm #pmmm rant #i might be remembering things wrong but still the point stands #madoka is a universal threat #stay mad #bad anime take #is this considered a bad anime take?

[inkykeiji]

>.<

#tw clari overshares #i really need to start making new friends on here and being more active #but the issue is just the mere *thought* of that fucking terrifies me #just typing out that single sentence has my heart pounding and my hands shaking and my stomach churning #i really wish i was kidding or over-exaggerating #i want so badly to make new friends and be active in a little community on here again #but i’m so so so scared #(of what?????????? of what!!!!!!!!!!!) #bring me back to 2020 clari who talked to people despite the anxiety and was so damn active and was having an absolute blast!!! #what happened to her!!!!! #she got really sick i guess #it’s crazy like sometimes i just scroll through my archive and i can SEE it #i can see myself getting sicker and sicker and withdrawing more and more #feeding into the fear and letting it win #and now i’m here #in this hole that i’m going to have to claw myself out of IN SPITE OF the terror i feel #i miss being a part of this community so much #i miss being able to post little drabbles willy nilly and not having breakdowns over them not being perfect #NOT obsessing over my own work and flaws it may have #i miss having fun #YES my writing is extremely important to me and YES i want to one day write for a living in some capacity #but since when did that mean i had to cut everyone off??? seclude myself in a protective little bubble??? #the only person who can fix this is me #(obviously hahaha) #it’s about time i put on my big girl pant(ie)s and faced that fear head on #i’m so sick of it dominating and controlling so much of my life #why did i let it take something so fucking important to me??? #i have to end it!!! #if u got this far in the tags: thank you and i’m sorry for venting #i just feel like i NEED to say this

[moghedien]

ya girl has covid (most likely)

#I saw most likely because I took an expired test and it was negative #but my mom has Covid and I was around her and got sick right after her #I’m fine #I only really feel bad when I start running fever which has been happening on and off since yesterday #I just take an Advil and a nap and wake up all sweaty #I’m just spending my time off reading PGSM in front of a space heater and exiting on tea and honey #it’s been four days and today is the only day I felt congested #but my throat has been scratchy since the day after Christmas #and it’s straight up raw today #honestly minus the fever sinus infections are worse than this #my mom has it a lot worse and has like fatigue and everything #I’m just not going get actually diagnosed because I’m 99% sure it’s Covid and I don’t really feel bad #so I’ll just quarantine like it’s Covid unless it ends up lasting much longer then I’ll go get it checked

[merevide]

thinking about killing eve again. thinking about eve. and her inhabitions and how she was so repressed and unfulfilled and her only true escape from that was her extensive research into female assassins and through that and getting fired and then rehired she meets villanelle and they basically bring out the worst in each other obvi but that’s also kinda their best selves because all villanelle wants is to be understood and that’s also what eve wants but she denies and denies and denies and she basically keeps denying everything until it’s too late and she’s left alone, again, screaming out in the water.

#like this shit is tragic IF ONLY IT WAS WELL WRITTEN. my god #i haven’t even rewatched this show ever since the last episode aired how do i have all of this just stored away in my brain #eve is such a wasted character because she’s literally so interesting #and then they just kinda fuck it up because they couldn’t really commit to her and her desires #which is also reflected in the show through her character bc she denies and denies and denies until it’s too late #too late being villanelle ending up dead and villanelle was basically the personification of all of eve’s dark desires #like villanelle kinda fucked up her life and killed her best friend and hurt so many of the people eve loved #and eve still was in her orbit because. BECAUSE!!!!! #i’m literally ranting right now and i don’t even know why #like i could go on and on but none of u wanna hear that #like eve is alone in a mental sense in the start and she’s alone in a literal sense in the end #like lol. this isn’t even talking about the romantic aspects of it either #don’t even hit me with that their obsession went deeper than romance sit they wanted to fuck each other let’s get real #i kinda need a reboot of killing eve but with good writing all the way through #i dunno. i dunno why i’m even talking about this #like i’m gonna be 80 and still babbling about killing eve and toxic yuri madness in the nursery home #this show wasted literal years of my life i’m never gonna get back…. #BLEGH. sick sick sick sick sick sick sick SICK #killing eve #my text

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

ik i said commissions would be open like yesterday or today or smth but actually i’m very busy being healed and simultaneously ruined by winter break. so. maybe a day or two more until i open them

#i have most of the comm sheet figured out but i realized i need to start over bc i’m no longer vibing w how i designed it. sigh #whatever #i’ll just make a boring one or smth #and oops i just realized i have a bunch of unanswered asks #u know i have a bunch of stuff to do but tbh i don’t care to do anything rn #ugh. winter is getting to me #that’s annoying #they should make it so u can not be tired all the time and also have the motivation to do things that u need to do #they should also make it so u never have to do anything ever #they should also send me away to the sea for my health bc i don’t remember what the sea looks like and also i want to wear a nightgown #and weakly call for someone to read a book to me while i waste away in a large canopy bed #i think i’d do well to play the role of a sick woman sent away to the sea to regain her health #i would also do well in the role of a mad scientist holding a beaker of glowing green liquid but that’s neither here nor there

[nosleep83]

‼️REALLY LONG VENT IN THE TAGS PLS SCROLL PAST IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE THAT OR ANYTHING IM OK JUST FRUSTRATED (Ik I also say this in the tags but just in case)‼️

Maybe I do need to see a therapist 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

#GONNA VENT IN THE TAGS U CAN IGNORE THESE I JUST GOTTA GET MY THOUGHTS OUT AND STUFF #ALSO DW ABT ME OR ANYTHING LIKE IM MOSTLY FINE BUT #collecting problems like fucking Pokémon cards #my extended family sucks ass for one #homophobic/transphobic assholes #that fucking hate my parents for no good reason and keep trying to talk to me as if they don’t actually despise my parents #you hate my fucking parents I’m not saying shit to you #I cant fucking trust anyone in this family #there is no one I could ever tell anything and I’m sick of people lying to me and telling me I could #even my mom I couldn’t tell everything cause she’ll start losing her FUCKING SHIT #second of all I feel like I don’t fit in with kids my age #besides a couple of my friends #oh speaking of friends I can never fucking tell what to think abt my best friend since like 3rd grade #I’m too tired to get into that but I’m just so FUCKING CONFUSED #I just wanna scream so fucking bad #vent tw #sleep vents

[corrodedcoughin]

I’m absolutely not the person to do it but I feel like there could be such a good steddie Drabble or fic based on spooky by dusty Springfield

The first verse based on how Steve sees Eddie, trying to use his old tactics of playing hard to get when Eddie asks him round to watch the movie he rents from family video. Thinking that if he plays his cards right he might finally get Eddie’s attention. Unsure of how to go about it any other way but absolutely knows with certainty that nobody else is going to compare to the strange and endearing guy who’s had Steve’s attention for far longer than either of them realise.

(But the thing is Dustin told Eddie all of the flirting advice Steve tried to pass on. So when Steve changes his initial ‘no’ to an ‘alright’ with a smirk eddie thinks and hopes and prays he might be in with a chance)

The second verse is Eddie watching steve at work and day to day. Completely unsure of how to take the ex-mr popular, convinced that he’s flirting with everybody that comes into his vicinity and it’s either through mercy or for his sins that Eddie is catching the strays. In two minds about what dustin said, is this part of Steve’s game or is it real? But this time when Eddie gets lost in those spiralling thoughts, Steve grabs his hand and smiles at him. Eddie’s flurry of doubt stops and all he sees is the contradiction of Steve with his neck scar and polo shirts.

Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little boy like you 🎶

#third verse is them FINALYL getting their heads out of the sand and DOING something #both of them pining stupid hours over each other #.Robin is SICK of it #she needs Steve to be back at capacity to help her plan her Halloween costume so Vickie will be swept away by the intensity of his feelings #she’d be happy for Steve if he just stopped stalling and went for it #there’s only room #for ONE hopelessly in love platonic soulmate at a time and steves had long enough #corroded coffin are at a loss. Gareth has his head in his drum kit and asks Jeff to slam it as soon as Eddie starts on his Steve rant #Jeff obliges because he’s a kind soul and is actually using Eddie’s rants as ammo for the eventual best man speach he knows he’ll have to #give at the munson harrington wedding because Jeff believes in love okay!! #Gareth is a rage filled rat boy (affectionate) and Jeff is the kind chinchilla #freak (Ian to ME) just keeps going on with the practice because he actually wants to get better he’s a capybara #yes thank you for seeing cc are rodent based #Eddie is unfortunately a pangolin #listen I don’t claim to be a writer don’t judge me #there’s better people to read I’m just throwing riffing ideas out there #I’m offering free samples #I’m giving out spare change #take it and leave me #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #it’s a VERY fun song to Steddie-fry #*….steddiefy #and yes wayne wishes eddie would stop playing it. Wayne loves dusty and Eddie is making him #reconsider his love #poor wayne

[comicalwenger]

i’m actually in an abysmal mood and it’s making me extremely pessimistic about this game

#started getting sick last night and barely slept #and my friend is telling me this story and i’m happy for her but it’s like damn….wish that was happening to me! #but i’m fundamentally unappealing or something so ig it never will #oh and the phillies lost last night and i can’t watch tonight #fisoskdjsns and my student loan payment is due and i forgot to pay last month

[caterpillarinacave]

I’m sure I’ll be crucified for this, but way some people in fandoms like The Tudors talk about people like Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boylen and Jane Seymour a) is disappointing, b) gross, and c) reeks of internalized misogyny 

#Gonna go on a rant here but before I start: I love The Tudors and I love Anne Boylen. Also ignore the spelling mistakes it’s fine it’s intag #It’s just the rampant vilinaizing of Jane Seymour and the need to set it up like Anne did nothing to Catherine is just #Sigh #You know the fact that she was horrible to Catherine of Aragon doesn’t mean she deserved her fate right? #None of those women deserved their fate they were abused by a lunatic on power #And despite that people automatically even in these fandoms see blame on the woman #There’s is someone to blame! #king henry viii!! He’s to blame! Literally all him #Jane Seymour wasn’t an awful witch her lured Henry away from Anne and Anne wasn’t an awful witch who lured Henry from COA #Henry was an awful man who took pleasure in chasing women #Also the way people get so caught up on whether Henry liked Anne best??? #Why the duck does it matter??? Didn’t Anne deserve so much more? #I’m not sad they didn’t stay together I’m sad anne had the misfortune of crossing his path #“They were endgame 😔” He was an abusive lunatic #There’s no one to blame but him #Also news didn’t travel the same way #And I’m really sick of all the “Jane Seymour could have saved anne” #Like duck she could #“She had hold over Henry” girl she literally didn’t #Which we know because she did once fall to her knees and beg him not to do something #And he made it very clear if she ever did that again she was done for and #And it was medival England #It was the kings word or nothing #Katherine Howard likely didn’t even know her cousin had been beheade #To try and fight the king #for Anne #who was so controversial and harshly tempered #who the king had decreed to be traitorous? #That would literally be impossible #And yeah WE know that Anne was obviously innocent

[lightspren]

Ok so I keep freaking out about if I can actually do this dog thing, if I’m actually enough. I love this dog dearly but i’m so exhausted all the time and that’s made worse this weekend by being sick. and I know that love is not enough to give a dog what she needs to be happy and healthy.

however. look. my big concerns are not being able to give her the exercise and stimulation she needs and wanting to be able to just Chill and cuddle my spouse and cats in calmness. and like. she’s almost certainly a great pyrenees mix. Relatively (as in, relative to other dogs I like, aka shepherds), she doesn’t need that much exercise. A good run in the yard a few times a day should do her, especially once she’s not so much of a puppy. And that’s the thing too— she’s a puppy. She’s excitable and chewy and a Lot because she’s 12mos old and still growing up. that takes time. and the cats are unhappy and won’t come cuddle— because she’s been here four days! they’re still adjusting!

i really need to take a step back and calm down. four days is not long enough to throw in the towel on this. she’s a puppy and we’re all adjusting but there is room in our lives for her. we can do this. i just need to fucking chill for maybe like five minutes and understand that this is an adjustment for the humans too, and that’s okay. I just need to chill.

#kit talks #she’s such a good dog y’all don’t even understand #she is SUCH a well behaved dog to both be a rescue from neglect and still a puppy (albeit an older puppy) #she’s a sweet and good girl and i just need to calm down and not be a perfectionist #this was a godawful time to get sick bc it’s shit my ability to cope with little things all to hell #i owe it to her and to myself to give it some time though. just have to give it some time #anyway i have like ten minutes til i have to get ready for work then i have GOT to try to not think about the dog today #so i don’t start crying at work lmfao #i’ll have enough to deal with due to still being sick and catching up from yesterday sigh #also i am increasingly sure she is def a pyr mix #she doesn’t have the long fur but the shape is there and the behaviors #quite territorial - not towards us or the cats but anyone who even looks at our property #very fucking stubborn. just Sits and Won’t Move if she doesn’t wanna do something #keep trying to train her and she looks at me like she completely understands what i mean by ‘down’ #and just thinks it’s stupid and not worth the measley little treat i’m offering #and yet quite smart and likes puzzles and incredibly affectionate #still undecided what she’s mixed WITH but pyr seems very accurate

[danielnelsen]

there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn

#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon #although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great #whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time #kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’ #or at least triggers that i can plan around #the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one #the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni #and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis? #but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal #i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months #so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically) #so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point #obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again #i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time #BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT #‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately #personal #but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12 #so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’ #and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes #wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health #and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder #so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test #i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing #might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained

[makkie-is-screaming]

I fucking can’t today

#Im tired and overwhelmed and I’m so sick of being the only responsible person in my house #I can’t even do my fucking school work because my dog needs food made everyday and my mom said she would start it #so I could finish my math test #then 20 mins later my brothers banging in my door bc my dog needs to go out so I have to stop my test to do that #then I see the dog food hasn’t been started so I need to do that but I have to do the dishes to make that #so I do the dishes then I’m doing the food and my brothers getting food and getting in my way bc he just can’t wait 30 mins #and he leave shit all over the counter that I need so I have to clean up after him while making dog food #then I finally finish the dog food and I’m cleaning the dishes I used when my brother comes over and leaves more dirty dishes #one had shrimp in it and the butters all gross and the smell alone made me want to vomit but I had to clean it #and I’m almost done when my sister comes out and sad that my cat got in my room and killed one of my plants n got dirt everywhere #Plus my dad came home early so now my mom wants me to vacuum #oh and I have to go to the store with her whenever she decided she’s ready to make sure she gets what we need #I’m currently sitting in my bathroom trying to calm down because I’m gonna snap and either kill someone else or myself if I don’t get a #break #And I still need to finish my math test #screaming

[starlooove]

Reading isn’t enough I need to start beating white ppls asses

#they’re literally everywhere and so annoying all the time I’m so sick #and it’s the quiet racism that’s killing me #ignoring dogwhistles pretending u don’t understand things that blk ppl are finding issue with gaslighting gaslighting gaslighting #and I get why ppl turn to the concept of religion and the idea that these people are gonna get what they deserve but what about now #what about the people they’re hurting and indoctrinating now #what about all the white folk who sit back and let it happen and feel comfortable in the fact that at least they’re not saying slurs #and laws keep getting passed that are literally getting us killed and y’all are making up that blk women are mad about kanekalon fuck y’all #And the LEAST you could do is sit and listen and learn but you need to share ur damn opinion on everything u hear and see #even when u know u don’t know shit #and don’t get me started on fandom it’s supposed to be fun here but y’all are so hyper focused on white characters that u genuinely don’t #see ur own racism #and some of you will see posts about it and scroll on and be guilty or think ur excluded #none of u are excluded this about all of u who make one post or reblog a few about fandom racism and go back to taking character traits from #nonwhite characters to make ur white faves look cooler #this is about everyone who thinks they’re some sort of feminist bc they think propping a female character on such a high pedestal nobody can #touch her isn’t falling into racist tropes at all #like sometimes I genuinely hate y’all so much it makes me sick #so tempted to tag every fandom tag I can find here #but y’all will either ignore it or gaslight blk ppl AGAIN like ALWAYS bc that’s what y’all do #dc #dc comics #tim Drake #bc anyone scrolling through this tag needs to see it I promise #Duke Thomas #Cass Caín #bc y’all pretend ur not racist towards her when y’all treat her like a walking dragon lady kys 💀 #Damian Wayne #so sorry to Damian stans faced with ppl who can’t read 💔 #and thats It.only main nonwhite ppl in batfam.and u still manage to be this racist.except Dick but u only sexualize him Abt it 💀 #see how I turned to fandom to cope with the real shit and it still fucking sucks 💀 I hope some of y’all die genuinely

[casbitchh]

had a look online at apartments and i can get a one bed apartment for a reasonable amount more than my half of this two bed. i am seriously getting sick of having a roommate, when my lease is up i need to get my own place

#it’s tricky tho bc my job situation is not incredibly stable (academia gang 😎 j1 visa gang 😎) so i’m nervous about signing a lease #but by the time i will start seriously looking for apartment i will have more clarity on the job situation #like i have a grant in for funding that will guarantee me six months work for the next three years #and if i get that then ill be fine to sign a lease #but yeah i’m just sick of having someone constantly in my space and needing to put up with that low level annoyance im not staying with #her for another year

[mebiselfandi]

I have “I talk about my best friend and throw up 60 times disease”

#I love her so much it hurts #it’s so pathetic #we only have one picture together which my mum forced us to take when we were 12 and no I will never be okay #I need her here with me like it genuinely hurts wtf #and it keeps getting worse #I’m sick and it feels like I’m dying #see what not sleeping for a whole night does to a bitch? #3 cancer scared in one year from her #finding out she almost died and I wouldn’t have known #I can’t take it anymore my hearts gonna give out #she’s finishing college and I haven’t even started #I’m so normal about her #I’m not in case it wasn’t obvious