#i’m literally going to an italian restaurant with my family for lunch today but

[everlarkbirthdaygifts]

Happy Birthday, jbsaucy!

Happy belated Birthday, @jbsaucy​! We hope you had a wonderful day back on the 16th, and that you celebrated in style! To bring your party back around, the lovely @mega-aulover​ has written a story just for you!

For this year, I am recently divorced and trying to get the nerve up to get out there. So I would like to request a 30/40s Everlark, post divorced meeting

Jbsaucy

Dear Jbsaucy I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I apologize for the lateness, and I hope you had a wonderful day. This prompt BTW was amazing and I had a great time writing it. It was a blast. Thank you to Norbertsmom for Betaing 

Rated T 

Title:  OFF THE MARKET

-kpkpkpkp-

Divorce sucks. SUCKS.

Getting divorced sucks, being divorced sucked.

But nothing, not the tedious nature of dividing unwanted movies, the fear of root canals, or getting a speeding ticket, compared to dating. Dating, ladies and gentlemen, after being married for ten years sucked royally. 

ROYALLY!

After my divorce, my attorney suggested I get a hobby or join a club. I really wasn’t a social person. Not much of a talker, and avoided any and all spotlights. It was this fear of the spotlight that originally brought me in contact to my now ex-husband, Darius.

My best friend Gale pushed me to do one of those karaoke nights. I panicked and ran straight into Darius. He thought I was cute, and I was grateful he went up with me to the karaoke microphone. He sang and I laughed. The rest is history; the marriage only lasted ten years. But I knew we weren’t right for one another, partially because Darius was a very sexual person, for me sex wasn’t important. I got more enjoyment out of getting my teeth cleaned. He found someone who revved his engine and I got the fica and dates. 

Yup Dates.

How did that happen you ask?

Well, I’ll tell you I followed my divorce attorney’s suggestion. Preface-OUTSIDE OF A COURTROOM NEVER EVER FOLLOW YOUR DIVORCE ATTORNEY’S ADVICE.

With that warning sign, I digress. Taking a deep breath, I pinch the bridge of my nose. Wait for it... I joined a book club. 

It was the only natural course of action. After our divorce I got all of the books. You see one of the things Darius and I loved to do was go to bookstores. We’d buy all of these books with the intention of reading them, and we never did. We had bookshelves filled with books from the 100 Must-Read Classic Books by Penguin. So after my divorce, I sat in my newly minted apartment with a box of wine and all of these books. 

I was looking at the boxes, my divorce papers jutting out. Amongst them there was a note - with the name of a book club, the real 451 book club, with an address. I called them the Squad 451 or the Squad. The women were a hodgepodge of personalities; the right blend of sweet and crazy. There is Mags, the motherly type. She has boatloads of grandchildren. Then there is her neighbor Greasy Sae  who runs a diner in town. I used to go to her diner as a kid and consume her mystery meat soups. The older woman is bawdy and half of the things she says makes me blush redder than a red bean. Next is Annie, a shy, slightly mad girl who is a librarian. Delly has the personality of the southern bell who wears pink and believes in romance. I’ve known of Delly forever; she and I went to the same high school. 

Foxface,  has one of those names with multiple consonants and vowels but prefers to go by Foxy or Foxface. She is freakishly smart and sometimes, I think she has blackmarket dealings because she’s so secretive. Then there is Effie, the middle aged, tightly wound woman whose book choices are as repressed as she is, like Jane Eyre. And last, but not least, is my divorce lawyer, yes the very same one who suggested I get a hobby, Johanna Mason who is, well, a sex fiend. 

I started meeting up with them, and six months after my divorce, that’s when the ladies conspired against me and set up my profile on one of those dating websites looking for men, for me. I had no idea, and on my birthday, they presented me with their “gift.” 

It was the gift you didn’t want, like a pimple on your wedding day or the runs before an important interview, or bad breath before a first kiss. 

Greasy said that if I didn’t use my, well, feminine - looks around - petals. That they’ll dry up and turn into ugly petunias. I announced sex wasn’t important, and even friged Effie said a lady needed to literally, figuratively, and metaphorically, occassionally let her hair down. 

 I said NO.

I demanded.

I scowled.

Nothing helped.

They created a profile based upon themselves, and yet through describing themselves they pegged me. I was nurturing. I had a sexy edge. I was introverted, and yet mysterious. I was smart, honest, loyal and a closet romantic. But if you tell anyone that, I’ll hunt you down, even after I’m dead. 

They split me up like a kid of divorced parents being schlepped from one house to the other. They set themselves up in teams and each team got to pick my dates. And everytime we met for a book club meeting, I was to dutifully report on the date. Based upon their success, a second date would be permitted. 

It was a simple proposition. 

I was naive. A stupid idiot, or as Bugs Bunny say’s, a maroon. 

Because I hadn’t really ever been out there. 

To be honest, I met Darius right out of high school, at my first college party, and we were married - okay it wasn’t a big wedding. It really wasn’t a wedding at all. It was a spur of the moment, we got drunk and ended up at one of those Elvis chapel impersonators. Annnnd bada-bing. 

I never really dated, so I agreed with the book club’s plan, because how hard could dating be?

 And thus began my nightmare.

I must state, or emphatically note, not all of my “dates,” were catastrophically bad. To be fair, most of the time I wasn’t interested. Delly said I wasn’t romantically pulled. Johnna said my engine wasn’t revved up. Greasy said if the man didn’t make me want to orgasam with a look, then he wasn’t worth my time. I posed this question to the universe: How in blazing blue inferno does a man make a woman...well you know, with a look? Was that even possible?

A hazy yellow fuzz enters my head and my mind wanders. I conjure up blue eyes and translucent lashes that never tangle.  

Sigh.

…. (my brain just short circuited at the thought of large hands)

Earth to Katniss. 

Okay sorry, I spaced out for a little bit, and their words spurred me on to continue my journey. And one year after my divorcce I had stories, no I have battle scars.  To prove my point, the following are my top three worst dates. In no particular order.  

Date Disaster # 1 was with an artsy type at a chique Italian restaurant. He arrived late, and was drunk, high, or both. Then fell asleep on his plate of bolognese. Yup, in his plate of spaghetti and meat sauce. I paid for my half, tucked my tail between my legs and left.

Date Disaster #2 was with a small man with glasses and a massive intellect who didn’t stop talking about flamingos. FLAMING PINK FLAMINGOS. My brain shut down. I didn’t hear the music in the jazz themed restaurant. I didn’t even taste the heat in the gumbo. The only factoid I remembered when we said goodnight was that flamingos were gray when they were born. I couldn’t even tell you how they became pink. The man was the human form of anesthesia for my soul. 

Date Disaster #3 was a nice man. We laughed. And everything was going well. We ordered drinks, a cranberry and soda for me, the bartender special for him while we waited for our table. Turns out he has a milk allergy and the bartender special had milk. When we sat down at the table and we were talking about our hobbies, his stomach began to grumble loudly. He became pasty and then as the waiter brought out our appetizers, he threw up all over the place. It was a good thing that throwing up didn't bother me, but it bothered our waiter who gagged. Needless to say, I burned the outfit I was wearing.  

Those were the top three...but there were more, just simmering to become the top one. And for a time I thought I wasn’t made to date.  But the ladies had faith and they were really trying to choose nice, interesting guys. However, nothing, nothing that I could ever imagine could top my latest date. 

I’m rushing along the sidewalk. I don’t want to be late, but at the same time, I don’t want to tell them how much of a calamity my latest date was, but to be completely honest, I don’t want to miss it. Tonight is also the night the group meets at Mellark’s. The friendly cafe style bakery with its rich and yummy pastries, both savory and sweet. It is my favorite place to meet. Squad 451 meets twice a month in different locations, including one of the two meeting rooms in the library, one of the community rooms in the Justice Building, and on our birthdays, we meet in a restaurant, but the bakery on Main Street is our favorite location. The Mellarks owned several locations. The flagship store was always managed by one of the original family members.  

If George Senior, or the middle son Ryan Mellark is at the helm of the bakery, they allow us to cavort in the shop until close. When his older brother George Junior or their Mother Muriel was in charge, we tended to be quiet, relegating our conversations to the books. When Peeta is in charge, there are free cheese buns and chaos. 

Please, stomach gods, let Peeta be there. I skipped lunch today because I had a deadline. I also forgot my wallet at home. Thankfully, my license was at the bottom of my backpack. I need food before my stomach eats itself. I am starving when I walk into the bakery. When I see Peeta, I stop. His blue eyes meet mine and my stomach flip flops. He gives me a slow sweet smile, before his eyes slide back to the customer who is ordering.

“Katniss,” Delly squeaks, waving frantically.

Somehow, my feet carry me over to the table and there is a plate of cheese buns and I thank every celestial being in the universe. His buns are heavenly. Sitting down, I take a napkin and snatch one.  My mouth waters and my lashes close as I bring the cheese bun to my mouth.  The smell of melted cheese, fresh bread, and the hint of dill, assuage my nose, before I bite into one of Peeta’s coveted flaky concoctions. The combination of the oozing cheese, the herbs and the buttery bread elicit a moan from deep within my being. These freaking cheese buns will be the death of me. 

“Wow.” Peeta’s voice causes my lashes to fly open. 

Peeta is standing near me with a cup of tea; his face and neck splotchy and red.  

My mouth is full of delicious food, but I forgot how to chew. 

Delly is looking between us. Her pale blue eyes quizzical, like when she’s trying to understand a concept or theme in a book.

 “Okay, bitches,” Johanna says, slamming her brief down. “Where’s the rest of the motley crew?”

“Mags and Greasy just arrived,” Delly answers absentmindedly. 

“Hey, Peeta, I need a strong black coffee.” 

“Sure,” Peeta says, all the while staring at me. I finally remember to chew. “Here Katniss, your tea.”   

Taking the paper cup, I can’t help feeling bashful. “Thank you.”

“Peet,” the girl behind the counter calls. 

Whenever Peeta is here, the business is brisk. He is charming. He was always charming, even back in high school he was the most popular guy, not only because of his looks, but because he was genuinely nice. I, like all of the other girls, had a mini crush on him. 

Looking over his shoulder he says, “I’ll be right back with your coffee, Jo.” 

Now Jo is looking between him and me, but hers is a wicked grin, like right before she nails a sleazebag who doesn’t want to pay for his children. I quirk an eyebrow, clueless as to what has Johanna showing off her predatory gleam. 

“Oh, it’s chilly outside,” Mags says.

“It’s colder than Rudolph’s balls outside,” Greasy says, her gruff voice is booming. Several patrons look at her. Greasy does not care. She’s well past her sixties and it’s her motto that she should live each day as if it was her last. 

In walks Effie, Annie, and Foxface, and they all say, “Hello,” in unison. 

The book of the month is actually a YA fiction called, The Fault in Our Stars, about teens with a terminal illness. I cried when Gus...I tear up once more...at the memory. But I know we aren’t going to discuss Hazel’s predicament with her parents. 

“So,” Delly says, bouncing in her chair.

I can’t help but grimace.

“How did it go?” Foxface says. She has an accent, but I can’t place it. 

“He looked like he belonged on one of those erotic books Johanna loves to read,” Greasy says, grabbing a cheese bun.

She’s not wrong. Gloss was a blond adonis, with slate blue eyes. And abs that have a flipping twelve pack, I ought to know, I counted them. The words are out of my mouth before I am aware of what I am saying.  “He really does with a twelve pack,” I say drinking my tea.

“Did you say twelve pack?” Johanna sat up. 

My eyes widen. 

“Wait, why are you blushing Katniss?” Foxface narrows her eyes.

“Did you and he…” Annie trails off. Her doe eyes are wide. 

“Did you have your first sleepover?” Effie leaned in. 

“Or did you dry hump him like a horny-toad dog?” Greasy’s voice bounces in the bakery.

Peeta’s pauses , wiping down the counter and looks directly at me. 

“NO!” My voice sounds half strangled.

Jo and Delly exchange a look. “Peeta,” Delly calls him over. 

Oh, no, no, no, I say to myself, eyeing how quickly I can get from the back corner to the exit. It is one thing to tell the squad, it is another to have Peeta know. I think I can sprint around the chairs and clear the table near the door like an olympic hurdle jumper. 

Peet walks over. “Hey Dells, can I get you ladies anything?”

“Katniss was going to regale us with her latest date,” Delly says.

“She’s going to tell us how she knows her date has Thor’s body.” 

“You’re dating?” Peeta asks, looking at me intently.

He doesn’t know I am dating or rather, being raked through hot coals.

“Oh,” Foxface chortles. “She’s dating.”

“Remember the guy who was texting with his mother during the entire date,” Effie said.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Mags saids grinning.

“Only the part when he had Katniss talk to her, and it turned out she was psychoanalyzing her to make sure she wasn’t an ax murderer,” Annie said laughing.

“Or what about the guy who kept on mentioning his ex and cried through the crème brûlée,” Greasy slaps her knee, laughing.

I can’t help but laugh. 

“Man, those are pretty bad,” Peeta says.

I hold up my finger. “No, those are tame.”

“Tame?” His blue eyes are sparkling. “You mean there are worse dates?”

Delly snorts. “Oh there are worse. I am so glad I am out of the dating pool.”  

“Yeah, Gale just loves you,” Annie sighs. 

Delly and Gale met when I joined the book club. And while I floundered, they fell in love and now Delly was pregnant.  

My eyes shift to Annie. “It’s so much easier when you fall in love.”

“Oh?” I say.

“I met someone,” Annie says softly. “He wants to meet all of us.”

I wonder what type of guy would date quiet, shy, introverted Annie who sometimes says things that remind me of that song from those Freddy movies from the 80’s. I shake my head.  Then I narrow my eyes. “Bring him to the next session,” I hear myself say. I want to meet this man, and make sure he will take care of my friend. 

“Really.” Annie clasps her hands.

I nod, but I notice Peeta is looking at me with this strange gleam in his eyes.  “Ah...yeah.” My voice sounds breathy. I frown, wondering why the heck I sound like one of those girls. You know the ones that always appear in the music videos washing cars and dancing on super yachts. Darius was fascinated by those girls, heck, his new girlfriend looks like one of those girls.

The women are chatting with Annie about the new guy in her life.  

“We'll discuss Annie’s beau later,” Mags holds her hand in the air. “I want to hear about Katniss’ date.” Her white hair spills over her shoulder as she fixes me with a look. “So tell us, how do you know Thor has a twelve pack?”

Somehow or another I knew the scrutiny on Annie would be short lived. My time to shine would come, but when I open my mouth to speak I can see a conspiratorial glance between Mags and Annie. And it hits me that they chose this man, because he looked like Thor. I scowl at the women who set me up on this one. Mags and Annie both have a pink tinge to their faces. I would have expected this from Jo or Greasy, but Mags and Annie, well it’s INCONCEIVABLE! 

I begin to speak. “He asked me to meet him at the edge of town, near route twelve.”

“Isn't that where Ripper’s place is?” Effie questioned, and she couldn’t hide her revulsion. 

“Yup,” I said, popping the ‘P’, thinking of the bar that disguised itself as an eatery. It was a seedy diner with cracked linoleum floors, yellowing formica, booths that had patches, blinking lights, and rickety chairs. 

“That’s where he asked you to meet him?” Mag’s sounds outraged. “That place is…is-”

“- a bedhaven for unsavory characters,” Foxface finishes. 

“You're brainless,” Jo mutters darkly. "Ripper's isn't the type of place you can go to Katniss. You should have called me."

As protective as I am about my friends, so is Jo. She's tough on the outside but has a really soft center. It's what makes her a perfect shark in the courtroom. Not that Darius was a jerk during our divorce. He actually wasn't. Johanna was present at the restaurant where he announced he wanted a divorce. Johanna later said it was my face, the vulnerability I tried to hide was why she took my divorce pro-bono. 

“I drove and brought my bottle of mace.” I know what everyone was thinking. The area in town where Ripper’s is located at, made the bad side of town look like a tourist destination. I didn't mind meeting my date there. I was looking forward to a basket of fries. Ripper's had amazing beer-battered fries. 

I've been to Ripper's once. I was with Gale and Thom who needed to score fake IDs. I ordered the fries, since I wasn't there for an ill gotten identification. But let me tell you, those fries. Oh! Holy mother of fries, no other fries can compare. 

Shivers!

I love food; it's why I'm a food critic now. What's so funny is that it was those fries that began my career as Buttercup, the elusive food critic. Back then I was Buttercup, the fussy eater. I blogged about them, no, I lavished them with love. I love my job. I can go into any restaurant, order anything on the menu, blog about it and get paid handsomely. And, most importantly, I can do it anonymously. Not even Darius knew I was Buttercup. He thought I was a boring housewife. Getting back to the fries, I wasn’t deterred from getting my fries.

“So then what happened?” Annie asked.

“He was there waiting for me. He stood up and smiled. And he's massive-"

"Just like a book cover," Foxface mutters.

 "He said his name wasn't Anthony, it’s Gloss.”

“Gloss?” Everyone said at the same time.

“Yup.” I sighed. “It was a sign. I should've left." Damn those fries! 

“So Gloss…" Peeta's sparkling eyes are on mine, his are an amazing hue of blue, like the indigo milk cap mushrooms. "Looks like Thor."  He frowns. "Thor with the long hair or short?"

"Long." The women around me answered as one.

Peeta turned those gorgeous eyes back to me.

Thor isn’t my cup of tea. I shrugged to show my indifference. "Gloss was sporting the Ragnarok look, short hair with facial hair."

 I swear I watch Peeta mouth, "short hair."

"Anyway, we sat at a booth. It was packed, actually." That should've been clue number two. Men at a joint like Ripper's at 8:30 on a Friday night, it was by the highway, plausible. But packed with just as many women. "The waitress who took our drink order could barely hear me."

"Was he nice?" Annie asks.

"He was sweet." Truthfully Gloss was a sweet guy.  He talked about his mother in a positive way, even if she gave him the name that was another descriptor for shiny objects. "He was attentive too. He told me his mother worked in the makeup industry. "

"That doesn't sound too awful," Delly says.

"He sounds delightful." Mags pushes her reading glasses up the bridge of her nose.  The gang is getting tired of the story and I hope they will move on to the reason we are  gathered, discussing the book we were reading. I begin to reach into my backpack because I really hate purses.

"If he's so delightful, why did he ask you to meet him at Ripper's?" Johanna says in her cross examination voice.

I wince as I take out my book.

"Yes, you must explain." Foxface demands.

"It's not nice to leave us dangling." Effie levels a look at me that has me squirming, feeling like I was being summoned into the principal's office. 

"I wanna know how you know Gloss has a twelve pack," Greasy says.

Peeta looks at me expectantly. 

Anndddd were back. I sigh. Will he run for the hills when I tell him? Most likely.

"We were talking about dancing.” My voice loses all it’s warmth. “I don't dance."

This causes a rumble of laughter and giggles amongst the women. Peeta looks confused. Finally Delly wipes the tears from her face and gasps, “You should never dance. Ever!” 

"That poor man’s toes,” Mags says, her shoulders shaking.

“Do I need to know?” Peeta looks between them. 

“I don’t dance!” I growl. The group erupts into another bout of laughter. 

“It was a scheme, a dirty underhanded scheme,” Effie says. 

The guy I was supposed to date was a dance instructor. He used the dating app as a way to drum up business. When the women meet him, he pairs them with guys who were there for a lesson. He paired me with a poor man named Harry. My nerves got the better of me, because I don’t like to be touched. Harry’s hands were sweaty. Harry tried to dip me as per my date’s instructions. I tripped, and in the process his toes were crushed, and I ended up with a sprained ankle. 

When I arrived in crutches to the next book club, well, that was one of those dates that simmers at the surface vying to be in the top three. 

“Gloss didn’t believe me. He said anyone can dance. I told him no, and explained that there are people who are predisposed to fly in airplanes, and some who get motion sickness in a car. “

“What happened next?” Foxface asks, moving to the edge of her chair.

“He went to the jukebox.”

“Oh no,” Johanna mutters. “Did he end up in the hospital?” 

“Is that how you know he’s got a twelve pack?” Greasy questions. The ladies, and Peeta are all staring at me. 

I shake my head. Why couldn’t there be a rush of customers right now? It is calm and I know the odds are against me. 

“Spill it!” Johanna demands. 

“Well, he queued up a song and waited a beat, and then Lenny’s Kravits’ American Woman started blaring. Gloss started sauntering and spun and did the splits on the floor. Next thing I know, the women in the place go nuts. They surround him, like a rabid pack of wild dogs.”

“Wait, what!” Delly exclaims her pale eyes bright, she grips the book in her hand. 

“That doesn’t happen,” Peeta says.

“It does to her,” Foxface said, her eyes shining with ferocity, like the eyes of those women at Rippers.

“Shut it blondie,” Johanna orders. 

“Yeah,” Annie says.

Taking a deep breath I continue. “He started dancing...hips…” my brain flashing to his hips gyrating. “...jutting out and…”

“Ohhhhh yeah,” Greasy cackles.

“Gyrating, his hips gyrating,” Foxface gasps.

With eyes closed I nod. “His hips were doing that all over the place. He then jumped on the table and proceeded to rip off his shirt. He shouted my name and told me his next move was his favorite. He spun onto his knees and slid up in my face before dropping his drawers.” I lower my eyes. 

“What,” Delly squeaked. “His pants?”

“It’s like Magic Mike,” Mags whispers.

I know the movie Mag’s is referring to. I’ve never seen it. “Yes.” 

“Was he naked-” Foxface began.

“-or was he wearing-” Annie cut Foxface off only to be cut off herself. 

“A G-String!” Greasy shouted excited.

I shook my head no. He wasn’t wearing anything, I can feel the heat burning my ears.

“Well don’t stop! What happened next!” Even Effie has lost her sense of propriety. 

“As I looked for an escape. It’s then I noticed  the poster on the wall, for the Slag Heap.” I pause and sigh, “Men’s Magic Friday Night Extravaganza, and Gloss was the headliner. I realized he’s a stripper.” 

And the place erupts in laughter. 

“What did you do?” Peeta asks.

My eyes connect with his.

“I slunk down to the floor and crawled my way out...drove to the hospital and made my sister administer a tetanus shot.”

 “Can I have his number?” Johanna says laughing but her eyes are dead serious. 

Peeta is smiling at me and I grab a cheese bun because they are as delicious as the man staring at me. 

Eventually we do get to the book, and it’s a pretty good discussion. Peeta let us stay until closing. Mags and Greasy are the last of the ladies to leave. It’s just me and Peeta since he let the staff go home. I’m loitering because I feel like I need to explain to Peeta why I let the ladies talk me into dating. 

I’m putting up the chairs on the tables when Peeta comes out. 

“You’re still here?”

“Yeah.” I look down at my feet.

“Katniss.”

“Peeta.” We both say at the same time, followed by a nervous chuckle.

“You first,” Peeta insists, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Dating wasn’t my idea.”

“It wasn't?” He raised an eyebrow.

I shake my head. 

“So what happened?”

“The ladies, they got me a year long subscription for my birthday, and knowing I wouldn’t go through with it, they choose who I date...until I find someone,” I can feel the heat rising from my neck and reaching my cheeks, “I like.”

“Really?”

I nod, incapable of speaking.  I cannot stop watching the way he blinks, those darned translucent lashes that never tangle. 

“Dating is pretty brutal.”

“Yeah,” I snort because dating is horrible. 

“My family is constantly setting me up. I went out with a girl who sang through the entire meal. She chose the pasta and sang On Top of Spaghetti.”

“What?” I laugh.

“That was my dad’s doing. My mom’s choice was a lot scarier. She made me do an obstacle course and made me do it three times until I beat the time she wanted me to reach.”

“Wow.”

“I was dressed in dress slacks, a nice shirt, and a tie.” He deadpans, “I even had on dress shoes.”

“I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he shrugs. 

I couldn't help but smile. 

“Dating sucks until you find someone who makes you laugh, someone who makes dancing easy.”

He approaches or maybe it’s my own feet that carry me to him. But it doesn’t matter because when his arm slides along my waist, and the other cradles my hand, I have no fears. There is something familiar with him as I dance with him. A slow shuffle, that has the room spinning but none of it matters because I feel at home.

“Will you dance with me Katniss?” His voice rumbles in my ear and my heart is pounding in my chest.

His scent is a warm heady mixture of spices, dill, vanilla, and cinnamon. 

“Would you go out with me Katniss?”

“Yes,” I answer, and just like that my dating profile goes up in flames. Ladies and gentlemen, I am officially off the market.

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #everlarkbirthdaydrabbles #everlarkbirthdaygifts #fan fic #by mega-aulover

[knjoodles]

mismatched pages; jimin x reader | 02

pairing: writer!jimin x writer!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst

word count: 4.2K

summary: you love writing. it’s your passion, it’s what you dream to do forever. up until you find out the guy you really like also happens to be the guy who’s stealing your ideas. then it sucks.

tw: since the characters are writers, they brainstorm plots. there are small mentions of death in family and family members being jailed

lowercase intended

01

“you can’t be serious,” you groaned, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “absolutely not! i cannot make him do that!”

“what do you mean, ‘absolutely not’?” hyeyeon whined, accompanying you to ginam hall. “all i want is a chicken and avocado panini!”

“what part of ‘jimin’s already buying me lunch and i can’t make him buy more than he has to’ do you not understand?” you glared at hyeyeon, stumbling on her untied shoelace and turning to you with a crooked smile. she reminded you of the times where you, her, and jaehyun would eat at jaehyun’s family restaurant every friday night. the three of you, ‘the three musketeers’ as your mom would say when you were in middle school, were basically glued at the hip. or hips.

“hey, you’ve never been to that cafe! i know what’s good!” she tugged on your sleeve like a child, more concerned about getting that sandwich than the fact that this was the first time in a while you’d be having lunch with a guy other than jaehyun.

“so? what does that have to do with your panini?” you chuckled, pulling your sleeve back. 

“well, let’s see,” hyeyeon pout in thought while linking your arms together. “since i’ve told you which panini i like, knowing you, you’ll panic once jimin asks you what you want, look at his hands, get scared of his hands, look at the table, subtly cover your face with something, and say you want my panini.” 

you glanced at hyeyeon, perplexed. “where’d you get that chain of events from?”

“huh? you do that all the time!” hyeyeon exclaimed. “jaehyun and i noticed it from day one. when you go to a new place or don’t know what you want, you do that. and you do it so often that i know it by heart.” she wrung her hand over your shoulder. “anyways, once you get my panini, you’ll be like, ‘oh my gosh, this is so good! hyeyeon is never wrong and i love her more than i love anyone else in the world!’” she mocked, a snort escaping from you, which was shortly accompanied by buoyant giggles. “and then, you’ll buy another one for the road home. and this is where i make my escape from under your bed to stealthily rescue my panini from the cold, empty chamber that is your mini fridge.”

“yeah, and how’re you going to ‘escape’ undetected?” you raised an eyebrow, playing along.

“because jimin’s gonna be drilling you into your mattress, so you won’t even see me!” she laughed, flashing you the most smug smile you’ve ever seen in your entire life.

“hyeyeon!” you gasped, mouth hanging wide open. “that is not something you can say in public!” 

“what? that jimin’s gonna smash?” she hollered, nudging you and raising her eyebrows.

“stop hyeyeon, stop!” you hissed silently, trying to get her to quiet down. “he’s right there. he’s literally right there!” you pointed your finger at the poor unsuspecting park jimin, standing right in front of ginam hall, waiting for you. the two of you watched as he fished his phone from his back pocket and quickly typed what looked to be a text message. right after he hit send, your phone vibrated, making hyeyeon’s eyes grow like saucers and grab your phone from the back pocket of your backpack. 

“'hey (y/n),'” hyeyeon narrated. “'i'm outside ginam hall, waiting for you. hope you didn’t forget about our lunch so soon!’” hyeyeon glanced at you, rolling her eyes. “guess who that is."

“i’ll get you your damn panini!” you shook your head and smiled, grabbing your phone and setting it in your back pocket. “i’ll see you soon, okay?”

“yeah, yeah,” hyeyeon grinned, hugging you tightly. “i’ll knock it off now. have fun!” she turned and raised her hand, motioning goodbye. “bye, (y/n)!”

“bye, hyeyeon!” you sang. you swiveled on your heel to dash towards jimin, who now changed from his blue and beige outfit to a solid black one, accompanied with a cap. he quietly tapped his foot and scrolled through social media, seemingly unaware of your incoming, fast-paced footsteps headed in his direction. “jimin!” you called, waving your hand as he spun to face you. 

“hi, (y/n)! ready to go?” he waved with two fingers. “if i’m being honest, i thought you forgot about lunch with me. i was so excited to go to that new café! me taking you there is a half excuse to just try out the food.” he chuckled to himself, cracking a large smile. his voice and smile were soothing; for once you didn’t feel out of place or awkward with a person you’d just met. you acknowledged that you didn't know him extremely well, but the warmth of his tone softened the air and made you feel safe. 

“i am!” you chirped, bouncing on your tip-toes to try to be head-level with him. 

he smiled back at you and stood on his toes, making himself even taller than you. “nice try.” he smirked, looking down on your now frowning face as you tried to overtake him in size. “it’s not gonna happen, (y/n!)” he chimed, pushing down on your shoulders to your feet. “let’s go.” he tugged on the lanyard around his neck, holding what looked to be his hall keys, car keys, and meal card, along with a couple other knick-knack keychains referencing shows or books. 

“great.” you grinned. he turned his head to see whether or not you were behind him, listening to the pitter-patter of your footsteps as he led the way to his car.

“allora?” you read out the name of the small café in front of the two of you. “is this the place?” The name of the café was unique from the rest of the restaurants and shops on the street, and it definitely differentiated itself with it’s outdoor decor. it was smaller than the businesses it sat in between and in front of, with vines and bushes decorating its outside walls and sidewalk. there was a small patio in front of the café, tables and chairs lining the property with their respective umbrellas closed, soaking up the sun and cool air of the afternoon. jimin motioned for you to come inside and you followed, weaving through the thin cobblestone path set up to lead you to the front door. 

the air conditioning inside bit at your skin, prompting you to pull down the cuffs of your sweatshirt that proudly had the name of your university written on either sleeve. “chilly, huh?” jimin whispered, nudging you with his elbow and chuckling quietly. you looked up at him, feeling your cheeks warm up at how close he was to you. as you stretched your arms, the two of you waited for a host to come and seat you. you watched as jimin leaned over and balanced on one foot, trying to see if there were any employees that could help them out. once he spot one, he waved and called out shyly, “excuse me? hi, um, do you think you could help us out?”

a short, chubby woman appeared around the corner and gasped. “oh, i’m so sorry no one helped you out! rush hour isn’t for another twenty minutes, so we didn’t expect many people to come in.” she giggled. “two menus?” she asked, plucking two from a shelf underneath her desk. you nodded politely, returning the bright smile she flashed you and followed her to the table she chose for the two of you, a beautifully set table outside, warmed by the afternoon sun. “unfortunately, i won’t be your waitress for today.” she clasped her hands together, pouting. “but my niece, yura, will be! i’ll give you two a moment to find out what you’d like to eat. just raise your hand, and yura will come your way!” she placed a drink menu in between the two of you and scurried off, most likely to greet the next party of people you watched walk in. 

jimin opened his menu, reading as he spoke to you. “i like the name of this place.” he sighed, eyeing the put out candle holding up the drink menu— most likely kept to light for dinners or date nights. “you know, ‘allora’ is one of the most versatile words in italian?”

“ah, so it’s italian.” you replied, surprised by jimin’s knowledge. “tell me more!” you replied.

“i think it mainly has to do with time,” he explained, eyes lighting up. “from what i read, it can mean things like, ‘in that case’, or  ’so’, or ‘well’, or even ‘hey!” he listed. as he went on about how ‘allora’ is used in conversation, you noticed how excited he got when he seized the chance to teach you something. it clicked to you that he enjoyed learning and enjoyed spreading that knowledge to other people, which was probably why he’s so focused and devoted in class. you’ve met many people like this, but no one quite like jimin. he strikes you differently than other people.

“i see. is the family italian?” you asked, trying to keep him in his ebb and flow of ecstasy just talking to you about something he found interesting.

“yeah! i think the owners are an korean-italian family, the mother being italian and the father being korean.” he leaned in, picking up his menu to cover his mouth. “most people here don’t like it, but i really enjoy seeing mixed race couples in korea.” he whispered, his eyes crinkling. “i think it shows that love has no boundaries.”

you grinned, nodding happily in agreement. opening your mouth to respond, a shy voice sounded next to you. you turned your head slightly to see a young girl, no older than sixteen, standing in front of you with a notepad in her hand and a pen in her hair, tied into a low ponytail. she was thin and tall, with a facial structure that radiated simple beauty. “hello!” you beamed, placing your hands in your lap.

“hi,” she muttered, tripping over her words. “i’m yura, and i’ll be your waitress for today.” she leant down face level and motioned for you to come closer. you and jimin both followed her instructions as she mumbled, “i know you guys weren’t done, but my aunt said if i don’t come and check on you guys, she’s afraid you’ll leave.”

jimin cracked a smile at yura’s comment, laughing. “i think im ready to order. (y/n)?” he asked, turning to you.

“uh, yeah!” you confirmed, wanting to exit your body and slap yourself across the cheek. you didn’t even look at the menu. you don’t even know what they offer.

“okay!” yura chimed, clicking the pen in her right and and glancing at jimin. “what would you like to order?”

“i’d like the baked ziti with sausage and a virgin daiquiri.” jimin grinned, handing her both menus and mouthing a ‘thank you’.

there goes your menu.

“and for you, ma’am?” she looked over at you, in your state of absolute panic.

“i, um,” right on cue, according to hyeyeon, you glanced at his hands, then away from his hands, trying to subtly cover your panicked look with your arm. suddenly, you remembered the panini hyeyeon wouldn’t shut up about. “i’ll have the same drink he’s having and a chicken avocado panini.” you ordered. “oh, and could i get one of those to go as well?" you hoped hyeyeon could hear you mentally screaming thank you.

“is that all for now?” yura questioned, scribbling down both orders onto her tiny black notebook. “two virgin daiquiris, one baked ziti, and two chicken avocado paninis, one to go?"

“yes! thank you, yura.” jimin nod his head, signaling yura to turn on her heel and go place your orders. you watched her leave until she disappeared behind the translucent windows inside the café, scurrying to the kitchen.

“virgin daiquiri, huh?” you asked, raising your eyebrows. “why no alcohol?”

“didn’t you order the same drink as me?” jimin teased, raising his eyebrow. “i don’t like day drinking. it gets in the way of my focus.” he shift his gaze to the patio’s wooden roof, decorated with rogue vines and many types of flowers, most colored pink or white. “but at night? like when the frat guys and sorority girls start to party? i’ll drink there.”

“seriously?” you groaned, frowning. just the thought of those people gave you a headache; the deafening music, the crowds of people and pungent smell of alcohol, drugs, and sex weren't exactly your definitions of fun. it’s not like you wanted to be antisocial around them, you explained it as extremely introverted. they just weren’t your cup of tea. “those guys? i can’t stand them. a couple days ago, that asshole, jeon jungkook? he started blasting music near the library and i couldn’t  focus for one second. like, i get it, i like listening to my music out loud with friends too, but not near a place where you know people are studying! does it kill them to head back to epsilon chi?” 

“ah, jeon jungkook.” jimin remarked. “we went to high school together and we were both part of the best group of friends i’ve ever known. like, seriously, it was great. our group is still together, but we’re missing jungkook. he decided to join epsilon chi because that’s the taekwondo team’s house. then, all of a sudden, they got this wrong idea of masculinity and started to pick up delta xi girls. i was surprised to be honest, i didn’t expect taekwondo guys to be so popular.” he lay his napkin on his lap and you follow, forgetting that it was even on the table. as you did so, yura returned with your drinks, placing them on the table and mentioning that your food would be out soon. after she left, jimin spun the paper straw of his daiquiri, sighing. “he’s a good kid. he used to be so open about liking art and anime, but once he joined that group, they pretty much showed no interest in it. he completely shed that side of his identity and it upsets me, to be honest. there was no need for him to change, yet here we are.” jimin’s frown said enough about what he thought of jungkook. “but, that doesn’t matter, we’re here to talk about our story!” his sudden change in mood slightly frightened you; how could someone drop something so personal like that so quickly? 

you didn’t question him. to be fair, would it even be okay to? 

“uh, yeah, actually, i have a couple ideas, one is kind of dumb though,” you admit, suddenly feeling self conscious about your plots. you don’t know what kinds of ideas jimin has, what’s stopping him from judging you from the core of his very being? you grew slightly frantic, thinking about all the ways he could criticize what you’ve come up with. 

“hey, if you came up with it, it can’t be dumb, now can it?” he lay his hand over yours, his compliment making your cheeks flare. you knew he could see it — your face wasn’t the most discreet when it came to how you truly felt.

“well, one of them is a college au type thing? based on what i’ve seen here and a couple episodes of criminal minds.” you laughed, causing jimin to smile. “it’s a mystery; this girl notices a series of patterns repeating over and over again throughout her campus, like puzzles. there’s a killer on the loose in her school, and every single day there are codes that are scattered that eventually reveal who’s the next victim. she employs her friends to help, and they all eventually narrow it down to one guy where the evidence is enough for the accusation to be believable and not to give away the rest of the plot. then, as she studies the evidence more, she realizes that her friends are actually the ones responsible for the deaths, and that all of the clues for the killers’ next victim points to her. but here’s the thing: there’s no unexplainable escape. her friends murder her in cold blood and attend her funeral, going by and never caught. that’s the story.”

you glanced over at jimin, whose mouth was wide open. “(y/n),” he gasped. “are you serious? that’s so cool!” 

you breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that he didn’t step all over your plot. giddy that he enjoyed that plot, you mentioned another that you thought up. “well, i have another plot as well. i’m not sure what type of relationship i want the two protagonists to have, like a gay, straight, or lesbian relationship, so lets call the characters character a and character b. character a comes from a family where their mom passed away in a terrible truck-and-car collision, causing their dad to become a drunkard that brings women to their home very often. as a result, they feel the need to take care of their brother, someone who’s a junior in high school and can’t fend for himself just yet. character a is around 19 years old, dedicated to school, and won a scholarship to their dream school. they rent an apartment near the university with around four other people, all of them different ages and majors. in this group, they meet character b, a very closed off and introverted person. they’re passionate about music and don’t talk much, but character a and character b grow very close very quickly. character a learns that character b keeps to themselves because character b’s father got into an accident that landed him in jail for involuntary manslaughter. their father changed after he got out of jail and grew abusive towards character b's mother and character b. as character a dotes on character b’s story more and more, character a realizes that it was the fault of character b’s father that their mother is dead. the accident that sent character b’s father to prison is the same one that sent character a’s mother to a better place.” you paused, knowing that summary was a lot for someone to take in at once. 

“holy fucking shit, (y/n).” he exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. “i don’t think i could beat something like that, ever!”

“are you sure? i wouldn’t be too sure.” you giggled, happy that he was amazed by your ideas. you were normally never proud of them, you just wrote them until it came out exactly how you wanted them and posted your writings. the appreciation and compliments regarding your writing from commenters never failed to brighten your day — they were also the reason why you were cooped up in your room late at night.

“excuse me?” a squeak from your left revealed yura carrying a large platter with both of your meals. she grinned at the two of you as she lay down your food, whispering, “thank you for being so nice. this is pretty much my first day on the job, and when i saw college students i didn’t know what to expect.”

“well, congratulations on your first day!” jimin clasped his hands together, shaking them and bowing his head playfully. “i’ll make sure to leave a tip.”

yura didn’t respond to jimin’s comment, but from her expression, it was easy to tell how grateful she was. she truly looked relieved that the two of you weren’t two jungkooks. leaving the two of you alone again, she hurried off inside to care to another customer.

“so, jimin, do tell,” you grinned, leaning in. “what plots did you have in mind?”

“that was,” you paused, throwing your head back. “so good!” you exclaimed. lunch with jimin was a success. he shared plots about stories surrounding the dark web, spies, and characters that solve their own mystery. his creativity and initiative struck a chord with you; you really enjoyed spending time geeking over well-made plots and characters. you also realized the two of you are both strangely drawn to angst and twisted tales, which helped you bond even more than you thought you would. you’d never expect in your life that you’d ever be friends with park jimin, let alone have lunch with him. silently thanking dr. yang, you let yourself in to the passenger seat of jimin’s car and buckled up.

“right? what did i tell you?” he agreed, nodding his head in excitement and starting his car. “make sure not to drop hyeyeon’s panini,” he reminded, the box with her food inside sitting on your lap. you forgot you had brought up how you thought hyeyeon loved food more than her boyfriend, and how she begged for you to get her a panini. 

you laughed at his comment, rolling your eyes and resting both your hands on top of the box. “maybe i’ll just do it anyway,” you joked as he pulled out of the parking lot, winding through the small streets that lined the city. 

“you have day schedule like me, right? so you’re basically done for the day after four?” he asked, eyes on the road.

“yeah,” you confirmed, turning to him and eyeing his side profile, lacking any flaws that a normal person would have. “i think that’s why i was so late, honestly, going to sleep late and waking up early isn’t a good look for me.”

“hey, that just means you work hard. i respect how dedicated you are in class.” he complimented. "you know, when i first walked in, i really wanted to talk to you?” he admit. you turned to him to see his cheeks grew a little pink; he was never the most talkative of people, so to hear him say something brought a smile to your face.

“really?” you asked, leaning into your seat and running your thumb over the top of the box in your lap. 

“yeah,” he shift his gaze to make eye contact with you at a stop light. “i thought you were really passionate and wanted to get to know you, but i never got around to it. i mean, you, hyeyeon, and jaehyun looked like this perfect group, and i didn’t want to intrude on you,” he reasoned, turning into the campus parking lot. “if you haven’t noticed, i don’t really talk to people that often in class,” his comment made you snort, the two of you sharing a laugh. “but that’s mainly because i’m shy. i know people who were convinced i hated them. like, really? they were convinced? i can barely ‘convince’ myself to hate someone.” he quickly parked his car into the first open spot he could find and turned his engine off.

“well,” you grinned, letting yourself out of his car. “you’re welcome to join us any time. i’ve got to run, and i’m pretty sure hyeyeon is behind that building over there awaiting her panini. thanks for the lunch!”

jimin, getting out of his car, stopped you before you left. “hey, i wanted to let you know that i don’t think tonight works for me anymore. let’s get to writing tomorrow?”

“yeah, sure!” you confirmed, giving him a swift hug as a way of saying goodbye. “thanks, again. i had fun.”

“no problem; i had fun too.” he replied, waving his hand before setting foot in the opposite direction to his next class’ lecture hall. “see you soon!” he called over his shoulder. 

all smiley, you bolted over to hyeyeon, currently attempting to stealthily watch the two of you. “nice try,”  you rolled your eyes, handing her the box with her panini. you watched as she danced in place, eyes lighting up at the sight of food. she greedily opened the box and pulled out her sandwich—  which, of course, was as good as she said it was — and took a small nibble out of the corner.

you shot her a confused look. “i eat slow to savor and enjoy,” she explained, putting on a haughty voice. ironically, she took a large second bite, nearly taking out one fourth of it in one go. “but hey, how was lunch with jimin? did you do the thing?”

“it was pretty great, actually. we chat mostly about our plots; i told him two of mine and he told me three of his. not gonna lie, it intimidated me, how fucking good he is at plotting, but we eventually settled on a story about a group of spies that have a bunch of weird familial ties — it’s hard to explain, but it makes such a good plot!” you squealed, excited that the two of you came up with a plot that included things that interested you both. “i’m so excited to be working with him,” you gushed. “i think we make a really good team. and, yeah,” you sighed, eyeing her annoyedly. “i did do ‘the thing’.”

“hah! i knew it! what did i tell you?” hyeyeon hollered triumphantly, wiping some rogue sauce from the side of her lip using a napkin. “okay, out of ten, how would you rate your lunch?”

“uh,” you looked back, wondering if jimin was still in sight. you could faintly see his silhouette entering jidae hall, bowing to the person who let him in. you turned to face hyeyeon awaiting your answer. “i’d give it a ten out of ten."

—

taglist: @heyimuglyandthatsfine @smolninja

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #255

“who gives a fuck if they hate you; you’re the god that they pray to.”

How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Could you go a day not talking to the last person you kissed? It would suck. What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? I didn't like, sob, but "Another Life" by Motionless In White does it. Your ex REALLY needs you at 3am and you have a way to their house would you go? Well, I can't with Sara considering she lives two hours away, and that's by plane. If she lived here, duh. For Girt or Jason, yes. Without saying any names what is one thing that you would like to say to someone(s)? I'm sorry. Would your parents get mad if you got drunk while they were present? No. Would you date someone who lived in another state? Eh, maybe. I don't know if I want to do long-distance again. I mean I probably would, but idk. Are you friends with your ex? Sara and Girt, yes. Who is the person you last texted? Sara. When’s the last time you told people you were fine, but really weren’t? I dunno, I honestly don't lie about that often. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? Months back when I found out the shit my therapist said about me and disability. Not only did I want to knock her jaw off, but I sobbed for like, a long-ass time. Who did you spend your summer with last year? Just Mom, really. ... Or wait, maybe that was the summer Sara was here??? My memory is such shit, idk if that was last year or the one before. What’s bothering you right now? Stress about dropping out. Have you lost friends in the past year? I don't think so, at least. Have you and the last person you kissed ever talked about going out? We did date. If the person you’re dating said they were falling in love with you, what would you do? I'm not dating anyone. Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year? Sara. Do you have a secret life? RP stays a pretty big secret. Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt? Yes. Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you? No. What are you watching? Nothing rn, surprisingly. I'm listening to music. Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? She's single. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Yeah. There’s a serial killer in your house, what do you do? Jump out the window. If the last person you kissed went back to their first love, what would you do? I think I am hers. Do you own any bug spray? No, not currently. We need some damn wasp killer. Every spring/summer, they build a nest literally right above our back door. Are you a good gift giver? Honestly think I'm really good at it. I always try to put a load of thought into it. What's the longest trip you’ve ever been on? The drives to either NY or Florida. I can't remember which is further. Are you a daughter or son-in-law? No. Do you know anyone in the military? Multiple people. Do you like your significant other's siblings? N/A Have you ever received a singing birthday card? Yeah. Those always suck when you open them and boom, loud singing to an obnoxious song. Do you own anything made by APPLE? My iPod. Have you ever tried Hamburger helper? Yeah, that was a semi-frequent dinner as a kid. I never liked it that much, though. What was your first car's color? N/A Do you have a best friend? Ye. Do you remember who your Kindergarten teacher was? I do. Do you have a favorite president? A least favorite? No, considering I don't know enough about any and their policies. Can you french braid? No. Were you ever a girl scout or a boy scout? I was as a tiny kid. I met my first best friend that way. What's your least favorite color? I'm just gonna use the very basic colors: yellow or green. Do you know anyone in jail? Not currently. Do you have kids? Ew. What's the strangest name you’ve ever heard? Apples. Yes. I'm serious. How old were you when you learned to walk? Idk. Do you own anything made of lace? Yeah. What's your favorite football team? Idc. What kind of bubble gum do you chew? Just about any. Fruity is my favorite. Do you wear a one-piece bathing suit or two-piece, a speedo or trunks? NOBODY needs to see me in a two-piece. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. Do you support a charity? Well of course. I used to give coins to those super-old charity things for sick kids back in the day, but I can't remember the exact charity it was. I also donated hair to Children With Hair Loss a couple years back. I haven't donated to any other that I know of bc no personal income and I don't ask my parents for money really, but boy have I wanted to. I always use that Facebook feature where you pick a charity to share and ask for donations for your birthday, though; I've done the Trevor Project and one for pancreatic cancer in honor of my grandmother. I don't remember the others. Do you pop your knuckles? EW no please don't in my presence @ Sara. Do you scrapbook? No. I just don't have the creative drive and dedication to. If you could change your eye color would you and to what color? A much brighter blue. Have you ever had braces? For a long-ass time because we couldn't afford to take them off. One tooth is pushed too far back because of it. Imagine your dream home, does it have a fence around it? No. I want to live in the woods where *that's* my yard. When were you the saddest in your whole life? 2016 OH WOWIE WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever seen a ghost? I definitely believe I have. Are you a virgin? No. How many books do you read a month? I like, just started reading again, so I can't say. Can you type fast? Very. In school were you bullied? I'm extremely thankful I wasn't. Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yes, I love it. Do you own a boat? Not me myself, no. Dad does. What about a camper? No. Do you read the newspaper? No. Are you on any teams? Team Mystic in Pokemon Go *waggles fist @ criticism* If you died today where do you think you’d go? Idk. Who really knows what happens when you die. I hope it's some serene existence, but, *shrugs*. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Ummmm I don't think so. Who is the first contact in your cell phone? Best friend! :') What color are you bed sheets? The one I'm using now is light blue. Do you use online dating? I cannot FUCKING believe I was briefly on Christian Mingle I would actually rather die- How often are you sick? Extremely rarely. Did/Do you miss a lot of school? Eh. I had my mental health days and had to leave early a lot. Do you like scented candles? Yeah man. When was the last time you were told you were pretty/beautiful/gorgeous? When I recently changed my FB picture after forever. Do you hate the last guy, other than family, you had a conversation with? No. What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Roman being silly. If someone were to ask you out right now would you say yes? I don't know. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yeah. Name four things you want right now: My fucking tattoo updated laksjdlflw, a healthy goddamn weight, my laptop, and a tarantula omg. Do you prefer to hold or be held? I mean, it depends on who we're talking about. I guess generally held? Are you currently wanting any piercings? You have no idea. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. What was the last thing that made you feel like your life was complete? lol I've never felt that. You ever slept on the floor with someone you liked? Yeah. Do you still speak to any of your classmates from elementary school? Off the very top of my head, no. Does it take a lot to make you cry? NOPE. What is the wallpaper on your computer screen? Why did you choose it? One of my favorite pictures of Teddy, because I adore and miss him. Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? Plaid. Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? I mean, not especially. They're crowded and it's a bad association anyway since it was the last time I hung out with Jason. The cake is indeed the best part, lmao. Mexican food, Chinese food, Italian food, French food or American food? American. What is the color scheme of your absolute favorite fast-food restaurant? Red, yellow, and blue. Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? Very rarely. I'm not all that tall. Is there carpet or hardwood floor in your bedroom? Carpet. Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? No. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? As someone who is bipolar, very much so, yes. Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, for my liver. I was fine. Do you like those "end of the world," "Armageddon" movies? Not especially. Ever been choked severely on something during lunch at your school? No. Do you remember who you sat next to in Kindergarten? Who was it? No. Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? No. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? Fruits, by far. Strawberries and broccoli. Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: This is not intentional or meant to be discriminatory of those with 'em, but penises literally repulse me visually. Do you like meeting new people? What’s your most common greeting? Yeah, even though I'm scared. I think I say "hi" or "hey" most. What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? Extremely heteronormative. Would you survive if zombies were to take over the world? Why or why not? HA no. I'm an anxious mess that is not fast or nimble in any way. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? I like the reddish/yellowish ones. Do you live anywhere near a mall? Maybe like, 15-20 mins away. If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? My mom. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? NO. What’s your favorite lunch meat, if you even like any in the first place? Honey ham. Would you rather write with a pen or a pencil? Why is this? Pencil, by far. You can erase. Scibbling stuff out looks messy. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? I am NOT kidding: one of the motivating factors of me going back to public school after 8th grade was the idea of making new friends and maybe making a band to be the guitarist lmfao. Who is your role model or hero in life if you have one? I have multiple for different reasons, but #1's gotta be Mark, man. Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? I was a really friendly kiddo. Do you keep secrets from your parents that you don’t keep from your friends? I don't think so. What is your father’s best friend’s name? Do you know them personally? Idk who that would be. Ever submit a video to America’s Funniest Home Videos? I don't believe we have. The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? Jesus fuck, I wouldn't wish having an infected cyst drained without NEARLY enough numbing medication on the goddamn devil. Are you someone who likes to eat Poptarts? What’s your favorite flavor? Yeah. I like the chocolate sundae one most. Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? No. What is your favorite flavor of Doritos? What do you drink with them? MMMMMMMMMMM cool ranch. Usually soda with chips. What is your favorite nickname you like to be called? Why do you like it? Ozzy. *shrugs* I like my online nickname and the "y" added sounds kinda affectionate ig. Do you already have your outfit for tomorrow planned out? I don’t plan my outfits. Has your favorite song ever been featured on a commercial? No. What would you say was the best year of your life? Why? 2017. SO MUCH DEVELOPMENT AND HEALING!!!!!!! Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? No. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? No.

#survey #quiz #questions #personal

[purplesurveys]

662

What is the wallpaper on your computer screen? Why did you choose it? It’s one of the default Mac wallpapers, but I picked the shot with a pinkish hue, because pink. The default ones are already pretty enough, so I don’t feel the need to scour the web for the perfect wallpaper image. Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? I’m currently wearing a romper. It’s just plain sky blue. Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? As an Asian, I can tell you baby showers are hugely a first-world thing. I think the more hip, Western-influenced, and upper-middle millennials and Gen Z Asian crowd can have the means to do them, but it’s like 90% not a thing here. In a region where there’s poverty in front of you, only the rich can pull them off; and for most of us, the biggest concern is that the baby remains healthy. Who is the person you text the most in your life? What relation are you? Gabie, probs. Girlfriend. Angela, my best friend, comes a close second. Mexican food, Chinese food, Italian food, French food or American food? Chinese > Mexican > Italian > American > French. I think I only like French cuisine for their pastries and escargot, but that’s about it.

Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided? Yeah. I still get confused about it from time to time, so eventually I just slapped the term demisexual on me and by far it’s been the most fitting for me. Does your mother annoy you when the holidays come along in the year? No? If anything I get worried a lot more because she comes home a lot late, and it always turns out to be because she spends the entire evening gift-shopping for family, friends, and co-workers hahahaha. What is the color scheme of your absolute favorite fast-food restaurant? I don’t really have a favorite fast food place anymore... if it counts, maybe Yellow Cab? They have a yellow and black color scheme, like the literal yellow cabs of New York. Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex? I don’t mind them; I don’t think of them in terms of being ~sexy lmao. Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? Nah I’m usually the short one who needs people to reach stuff for me. Do your siblings bring people around that your parents don’t approve of? Mmm nope, not really. My mom loves my sister’s boyfriend, and as far as I know my brother doesn’t bring anybody home. Is there carpet or hardwood floor in your bedroom? Hardwood. I don’t know if there’s any Filipino home that has carpet floors. Do you check the texture of things first or the smell of them? As much as I hate this habit of mine, I tend to want to know the smell of everything. I only check the texture if I think it’s going to be satisfying, like if it’s anything like slime or sand. Have you ever broken the arm or head off of a trophy? How did you do this? Nope. I don’t think I’ve already even held a trophy before. Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? I only follow one superstition that has something to do with my school, but that’s it. I don’t obsess over it and I know it’s fake, but ‘following’ what the superstition says hasn’t gotten me in trouble in my last four years in university, so I just continue following it HAHA. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? I do hate it but fortunately a lot of people are now more sensitive when it comes to mental health and mental health issues. I don’t hear this word thrown as much as it was in like 2011 anymore. Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you? What was it for? Nah, no reason to. I’ve only had X-rays of my spine taken. Do you like those ‘end of the world,’ ‘Armageddon’ movies? Never did. I was never into the whole apocalypse/disaster/wartime genres. What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time? I don’t have headphones. And I also don’t have earphones anymore :( I want a new pair soooo baaaaadddd. Ever been choked severely on something during lunch at your school? I’ve never choked on solids, but I’ve choked on water several times, when the droplets get stuck in your throat and your lungs get all confused and you’re left gasping for air but you just choke some more because the water in your throat blocks any air from coming in, so you end up coughing to near death. The last time this happened was during a lunch break in my INTERNSHIP, and it was so embarrassing because I couldn’t tell them what was happening, I was just coughing frantically and slowly turning red lol.

Do you remember who you sat next to in Kindergarten? Who was it? Yeah, the girl in front of me in the class list was I think Kaira, and the one after me was Kaye. I was friends with Kaira throughout high school and we still are today, but back in kinder she used to be my bully. But during recess, I usually sat beside a girl named Raegan, who was one of my good friends for a while. Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? I don’t think so. Has anyone, including yourself, forgot it was your own birthday? On my 18th birthday my high school friend group completely forgot. It makes me feel like shit every time it’s brought up, so we’re not bringing it up tonight. Chocolate or strawberry birthday cake? Choose one. Chocolate! Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? I loooooove me some vegetables – I’d try all of them in a heartbeat. My favorite is broccoli. And I hate most fruits, but I’ll give an exception to avocado. Do you abbreviate things way too often? Do you get called out on it? Not really, I just use the usual shortcuts – lol, lmao, rn, tbh, idk. My mom would get confused sometimes and ask me for the meaning of some abbreviations I use, but she doesn’t ‘call me out’ on it. Ever been in one of those church Christmas plays before? Why/why not? Hahahaha no, because I never wanted to join and it’s one of those things I’d never allow myself to be in no matter how much my mom forced me. What is the funniest conjunction you use throughout your day? ...Are conjunctions supposed to be funny? Have you ever thrown a roll of toilet paper at someone before? Nope. Does the dentist calm you or does it tend to stress you out? I like the dentist. I’ve never had big issues with my teeth (save for my worst ever toothache last year), so the idea of having my teeth cleaned and treated is actually pretty calming to me. The one time it ever stressed me out was when my dentist had to extract a dead tooth and he had to put three injections on the roof of my mouth. It was the first time I’ve ever caught myself literally shaking in fear, huhuhuhu. If you had to choose, which is the worst movie you’ve ever seen? Jack and Jill, for movies that are objectively bad. But in general, Knives Out was a big fucking waste of my time and money. Have you ever found yourself talking to an inanimate object? When I say sorry for bumping into them D: Do you like movies that are originally based on children’s books? Not all of them. Some were hits for me like Charlotte’s Web and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and some I didn’t really care for, like Coraline. Is your hair more thick or thin? Is it more curly or straight? THICK. So thick I could never pull off a bob, even though I’ve had the desire to adopt it as my look for a while now. It’s straight but it’ll sometimes be wavy. Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: Raised moles. Do you like meeting new people? What’s your most common greeting? Uhhhh I’m okay with meeting new people but it still depends on their crowd or the air that they carry around them. If I have a meh feeling about them or if their body language initially rubs me off the wrong way, I’d be hesitant. With my situation now, I usually say hi, tell them my name, we exchange our courses, then we talk about school stuff to break the ice. Ever think of what it would be like to be a mermaid or merman? Not really. Ariel has since showed me that it wouldn’t mean much, so I never actively wanted to be a mermaid. If you had to choose, which celebrity would you date out of all of them? Kristen Stewart or Hayley Williams. Do people feel sorry for you for no reason? Have they ever? I don’t think so. Idk, idk how people feel about me. What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? I never liked surveys that go too deep, like those that ask me what I think of socialism or abortion, hhhhhhhh. I answer surveys so I can talk about my dog, say what I learned in school, or discuss who I had lunch with, and not to get all political. Simple yes/no questions can also be annoying so most times I elaborate. Who would you take with you on a stranded/deserted island? Maybe Gab? She’s super smart and resourceful and makes everything work haha. Do you have your own personal boom box in your bedroom? No. I was too young to want to have one. Would you survive if zombies were to take over the world? Why or why not? Probably not. I can’t even cross the street without holding on for dear life to my friends’ arms lmaoooooo. What would you say is the worst part of high school period? Adjusting. I took a while to, and when I hadn’t yet, it was the worst. I was left out of everything, had no opportunity to figure out who I was or what I needed at the time, and nothing and no one approached me unless I did so myself. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? I don’t like apples. Ever want to be a doctor? Is it because of all the hospital shows? I never wanted to be a doctor as a kid, but now I do see the point in going to med school. I’ve always liked and been good at memorizing names and terms, and biology is my favorite subject along with history, so a part of me thinks what could have happened if I pursued some specialization of med. As for hospital shows, I’ve never seen one. What do you think of all these reality shows that try to alter personality? I’m not sure what they mean? Don’t they all do that? Reality TV personalities always seem like much exaggerated versions of themselves. Where are your favorite pair of shoes in the whole world right now? I wear it too much but my Onitsuka Tiger sneakers are a k e e p e r. So comfy and such a classy-looking pair. Do you live anywhere near a mall? If you live in the Philippines, there is an 80–90% chance you live near a mall. In my case, I just live quite far from the main entrance of our gated village so it’s a bit of a drive; but the village itself is like two minutes away from one mall, four minutes away from two others, and five minutes away from still another one. Malling is pretty much the national pastime, so we’re loaded with them. Do you like drawing smiley faces or do you think they’re overrated? They’re pretty harmless, I don’t see why they should be deemed as overrated lol. If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? Gabie. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? I’ve never formally baby-sat someone, actually; at best I was put in charge of my younger siblings and cousins and looked out for them and took up the position of the responsible older sister whenever our parents weren’t watching. But to me it was already kinda like babysitting based on what I’ve seen in American TV hahahaha, and I always liked that sort of task. Do you ever have those ‘ah ha!’ moments? Do those annoy you? If the a-ha moment meant I was stupid in the past, then yes it would annoy me. Like for example if I’m driving somewhere and already far from home, then had an a-ha moment that I forgot something important back at the house, then I’d be pretty pissed with myself. But if the a-ha moment was something like a realization, I’d be relieved to have it. Do you hardly ever remember where you put things at? YES I HATE that about myself. I’ve lost earphones, my Hydro Flask, my yellow pad paper, readings, jackets, hair ties, socks, and school IDs because of it. What’s your favorite lunch meat, if you even like any in the first place? I don’t eat lunch meat. When is the next time you’ll eat a cupcake, if you know when? I have no clue :( Cupcakes are one of my favorite desserts though, but they’re just so hard to find or get. Where did you last buy socks from? What do those socks look like? The last time I bought socks was like 2015, back when they were a trend here for some reason. It has a bacon and eggs design, and I actually just wore them the other day haha. Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because? I’d look up at the sky, but not on grass. I find it itchy. When do you normally go to sleep on the weekends? Depends on what and how much I did during the day and how tired I am. Like just earlier (Friday evening) I was passed out by 9:30 because I stayed up til 2 AM working on a Powerpoint and had to wake up at 6 in the morning to continue working. But other nights I could stay up till midnight. Have you ever met someone with the same ‘biggest fear’ as you? I haven’t met anyone afraid of knives and injections and any sharp stuff like me, no. Do you ever have movie nights with your significant other? We don’t do movie nights ever, which I recently and finally realized when we did sit down and watch Titanic together a couple of weeks ago lmaaaaaaaaao. It was honestly really fun doing it and I remember remarking that we in fact never did movie nights in the last four years. Would you rather write with a pen or a pencil? Why is this? Pen. It’s just more convenient for me. Pencils get blunt as you use them, and I’m too impatient for that. Do you like candy bars? Are you trying to slack off of them? I honestly have nothing against them, but given that I have several many relatives who work overseas and have brought home candy bars as pasalubong (gifts) in the last 22 years of my existence... you can imagine how tired I can get of them. What is your favorite number? Is it significant with your life? 4. Not really. It just reminds me of Beyoncé and happier days haha. Are you afraid of being kidnapped if you go outside at nighttime? Yup. That’s why I never walk outside at night except when I’m at a mall or in school. I just drive everywhere. Has your mother ever called your school because of your grades? No. Whenever I struggled in school it was always just due to either 1 or 2 subjects, so there was no reason to ring up our adviser as it was never that worrisome in my case. I was never failing all my classes at the same time, basically. In the next twenty minutes, what will you be doing and where will you be? Maybe another survey or watching BoJack Horseman? Idk. It’s 3:44 AM and I’m pretty awake so I dunno if I’d still want to sleep. Do you like showers or baths better? Why did you choose your choice? Showerrrr. It’s quicker, plus it’s what I do more often. Are you a controversial person? Do your views oppose others? This was me as a teenager because I thought it would be cool to be edgy and have a different opinion than everyone else BLECK please delete that person lmfao. But now, hmmm the way I’d explain it is that in the case of e.g. being pro-choice, LGBT, critical of the Catholic Church, basically the more liberal ideas, I seem to be in the majority opinion about relevant issues on the Internet/social media. 

But I live in the Philippines, where society is still mostly traditional, conservative, modest, and disapproving of a lot of the progressive stuff happening in the rest of the world – hell, divorce isn’t even legal here. That said, a lot of my views which would otherwise line up with those on social media or those in like US or Canada or Europe would get me a lot of hate and criticism in the Philippines, especially among the older generation. Have you ever thrown a surprise party for someone? Who for? Yeah we threw one for Dave a few years back. My friends also threw an advanced surprise party for Raf on my actual birthday, and I was too hurt about it so I didn’t attend. What would you say your average word per minute time is on the keyboard? We did this in class once for fun when we weren’t really discussing anything, and if I remember anything I hit somewhere between 70-80 words. What is your least favorite class in school? Why is this? Chemistry, calculus, and trigonometry. So fucking useless. Do you bite your fingernails or tap them on desks? I tap my nails onto desks. I only bite them when I’m anxious. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? I wanted to learn the drums but never explicitly wanted to be in a band. Who is your role model or hero in life if you have one? No role models for me. Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? No. We’re close, but we’re also busy, so the only time we get to catch up is when we get to have family lunches/reunions. Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? Not at all. All of my friends’ parents have been lovely. Do you ever have to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? Nope. When is the next time you’ll go to the library? Why is this? I dunno actually. I don’t really have to pick up a book to read for a class right now. Do you like fiction or non-fiction books more? What’s your favorite? Non-fiction. I don’t have a favorite but I will sit down and read any biography you offer me. Do you constantly have to be told to shut up? By who? No, and that would hurt, I think. I have friends who I lowkey think are too talkative for my social battery, but I’d never tell them to shut up. Do you know how to play pool? Are you any good at it? Nah. I don’t even know how to swing(?) the cue. Do you treat others as you’d like to be treated? Have you always? Yeah, I always try to. I always assume or imagine they’re going through something, so I always try to be a little kinder. Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? I was quiet, neither mean nor sweet. I didn’t make trouble at all but I wasn’t exactly the most darling of kids either haha. I was just too shy to move or talk. Are you someone who likes to get in arguments or fights a lot? I’d get in one if I have to, but I don’t thrive on them. How do you make sure people know you don’t like them at all? I don’t have to make a big spectacle about it if I don’t like someone for whatever reason. I can still be polite and civil if I have to interact with them. < Pretty much. The one way someone would know (if they even notice at all) is that if I would do anything and everything to avoid having to talk to them. Would you say you’re someone who likes to cuss a lot? I say shit and fuck pretty often. Do you keep secrets from your parents that you don’t keep from your friends? My entire relationship is a glaring answer to this. What is your father’s best friend’s name? Do you know them personally? I don’t know if my dad has one. He has close friends, but not sure about a best friend. If you had to, where would you get a tattoo at? Why? Inner wrist, but I know that would hurt so I might just settle with having no tattoos ever haha. I picked it becauuuuse, idk, it just seems pretty intimate to me. How much was the cell phone you have at this moment in time? It was the newest model when I got it so it cost like P45,000 or a little less than $1000. Would you say you hang out with people the majority of your life? Yes. For the last 18 years my life has revolved around going to school, so I’m allllllways around people. What would you do if you woke up randomly with purple hair? I’d be pissed and try to hunt down whoever dyed my hair in my sleep, but then afterwards I’d assess if it suits me or not HAHAHA. It’s dyed anyway, so I might as well make sure I look good with it. Do you ever look in the mirror and name all of your flaws for no reason? Yeah, especially the ones on my face. Doesn’t get to happen a lot but I’d do it occasionally. Are you getting sick of the reality show Survivor? Why? I never watched it, but I’m surprised it’s still on. < This. Do you usually explain to people why you do the things you do? It depends what I do but generally, I’m not weird or crazy or daring enough for me to have to explain myself to people all the time. In contrast, I have an org-mate who’s a little on the...experimental side, and we have caught him trying to drink glue or stabbing himself with a pen. He always says he just wants to know how it smells/tastes/feels like, depending on the situation. We’re all lowkey concerned about him though lol. Ever submit a video to America’s Funniest Home Videos? We didn’t, because I don’t live in America. The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? Anything that had me getting pricked, so like platelet count tests and the one time I needed to get IV placed on my wrist. I’m WINCING just thinking about them. Are you someone who likes to eat Poptarts? What’s your favorite flavor? Love Poptarts, my favorite is the chocolate one. We don’t get a lot of flavors here, hence the basic choice. Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? Never. Do you like people who are loud or people who are quiet? I like quiet people who can get chatty and loud when necessary. Does personality weigh out the sense of ‘good looks?’ In terms of who I find attractive? Not really, looks still matter to me. When is the next time you’ll see someone who is pregnant? I only know one person who is and I only see that girl like once a decade lmao so I have no clue if I’ll see anyone else who’s pregnant. Do you hate it when people copy the things you do? No, unless it’s the exact same thing I’ve been doing. Where is your favorite piece of electronic equipment? It is on the drawer next to my bed. Where is the person who ‘owns your heart’ at this moment in time? She’s in her dorm, all passed out considering it’s 4:40 AM lol. Has anyone ever told you that you’re good at cooking? Hell no. I’d tell them they’re completely mistaking me for a different person, because I don’t enter the kitchen at allllllll. Would you say you’re a fast texter, or are you pretty slow? I’m fast. What is your favorite flavor of Doritos? What do you drink with them? Nacho Cheese is fine with me. Do you have any enemies who you think are dangerous? I don’t have any enemies. < Yep. Do you ever try to squeeze information out of people? Sure. It comes with being a journ student lmao. Does it freak you out when the police drive by your house? I live in a private village so this never happens. I do get paranoid when I’m driving and there’s a police car coming from behind me, though. Are you someone who tends to take a whole lot of naps? Not really. I always have a lot of work to do so I can’t nap even though I would want to. What is your favorite nickname you like to be called? Why do you like it? I’m fine with Robyn. I’ve gone by it since I was four. Do you already have your outfit for tomorrow planned out? Eh not really. I usually don’t think of my Sunday outfits until I’m actually already in front of the closet anyway. I never feel like making an effort for church.  What is the color of your favorite pair of pants? What brand are they? Blue. No clue, but they’re mom jeans. Has your favorite song ever been featured on a commercial? Nah. I’ve never heard Paramore on a commercial. Do you ever promise pc4pc on Myspace then never return the favor? I never did Myspace. I’m vaguely familiar with the slang, though. What is one song right now that really gets on your nerves? That new Demi Lovato ballad. Bless her for allowing herself to be vulnerable on that track, but for the most part I cannotttttt stand her voice. What would you say was the best year of your life? Why? 2014, a lot of things seemed to fall into my lap back then, and I was simply happy and satisfied. Do those annoying infomercials ever draw you in to buy things? I have never been convinced to buy anything they sell but I WILL spend hours watching the commercials just because of how entertaining they are. Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? No. Speeding isn’t an issue here tbh. If it was nearly everybody would be pulled over, I think. Common reasons for being pulled over are like making illegal u-turns, overtaking on a solid double line, or being caught driving when your car is under coding for that day. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? Nope.

#survey #surveys

[willimightbe]

All the emoji asks!

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

My first attempt at packing involved a literal sausage. It didn’t work out.

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

My parents.  

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

Treecko and Turtwig because I love some cute little grass Pokémon.

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

The world would be much brighter and happier.

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

Ceece and I were having a picnic while hiking, and then we were ambushed by lumberjack centaurs.

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

Kitty Kath has always been there for me no matter what. She’s loyal to the end.

😘 talk about your crush or partner

Ceece is an angel on Earth. He’s the perfect gentleman and scholar.

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

SOMEONE BETTER BE READY TO CATCH THESE HANDS

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

I love my swoopy hair.

I love the way my eyes are dark, yet bright in their own way.

I like the way I can overcome my dysphoria on my bad days.

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

I’m scared of not living up to expectations, especially those of my parents.

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

I honestly love listening to my friends talk about their lives.

💙 what annoys you about some people?

People who give me a weird second look when they learn I’m trans.

😤 do you get angry easily?

I’m much more hot-headed than most of my friends.

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

I’ve always wanted to surf without falling over.

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

My friends will always be happy.

They’ll all be with the people they love.

I can ride a go kart whenever and wherever I want.

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

I love Rome because of the beauty of Italy.

☕️ talk about your ideal day

Sunbathing in the park with Ceece reading beside me.

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

Extrovert for sure.

💧 when was the last time you cried?

I cried at my own party after seeing all my friends there.

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

Can I just list the entirety of Scorpion?

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

Probably super strength. Or maybe mind reading.

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

Life won’t be easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth living.

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

I’m jealous of Ceece because he gets to see his beautiful smile every time he looks in the mirror.

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

I really wish I was smarter. I think that’s kinda self explanatory.

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

I’m ashamed of sleeping around so much when Ceece was always by my side.

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

English and a tiny bit of Sanskrit. I really wanna learn Spanish, French, Italian, and all the Romance languages.

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

I think I’d be Elizabeth Bennett so I could say I married Darcy. Again.

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

A universe where my friends and I can just live in a big mansion together and just be happy.

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

I’m giving all my employees (and myself) an extra long lunch break.

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

Probably a dolphin? They’re pretty cool.

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

How about no?

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

I just really wish I could talk to my parents again, ask them about how they’re doing.

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

I wanted to be a firefighter when I was young, but now… I don’t know what.

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

I like chocolate over sugar.

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

My friends’ cooking. Particularly @tumblebeebumblebee @arosethatsmellsjustassweet and @goodold-captainjack

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

I tend to lash out at others when I’m stressed.

😪 what are you sick of?

Getting up early.

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

Depends on what it is. Like, I’m good with heights, but not high speeds.

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

Pineapple on pizza is wonderful.

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

Uh, yeah.

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

I watch a lot of Netflix if that counts.

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

The Liberty Bell March

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

I’m a big procrastinator, so I’m trying to stick to a daily schedule.

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

I draw arrows on my arms.

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

I don’t know, really. I guess I need to find my dream first.

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

ESFJ: The Provider. I love to give things to my friends.

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

I met Nikhil Saboo at the stage door of Mean Girls He seems pretty cool and isn’t bad looking.  

🐴 opinion on __?

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

I’m very emotional.

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

“You’re worth more than the whole damn bunch put together.” - The Great Gatsby

“Angry people are not always wise.” - Pride and Prejudice

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

I usually just go up onto the roof and wait until the feelings go away.

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

Tomorrow could be the day I get nachos.

🌍 which country do you live in?

America.

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

Jock, dork, awesome.

🐵 which quotes changed you?

Listed them already.

💭 do you keep a diary?

…no?

💫 who inspires you?

My parents, Ceece, and Kitty Kath.

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

Yeah; ghosts are just souls that haven’t moved on yet.

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

Preppy and smart unlike the man in them.

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

The Hundred Foot Journey.

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

My parents buying me my first binder.

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

I’d meet my biological family.

#answer key #long post #romo // #pda //

[deanmiles13]

Johnny Cash/Tables for 3

My move from Indiana to Tucson was my transition into adulthood. The trip was on a Greyhound bus and was my first time ever being further west than St. Louis.

I moved into my fathers place which was located on a “reservation”. The domicile we shared was a travel trailer. Just a step up from the pop up kind.The kind you can spit from one end to the other. It was THAT small.

It sucked living there with a stranger basically, and I hated it. I actually looked forward to school, which was a rarity. I took the bus from our way out post, to the school located a few miles away. Almost every day on the trip home, we would get off the bus a stop or two early, just to watch a fight. It was always the typical fights, but these Mexican kids always made up after. It was cool. 

Going to the school I went to, was wild. I was one of about 50 white kids attending. The rest were Mexican Americans or Native American. 

When I moved out to Tucson, I was thinking this was gonna be some real punk rock landing pad. Little did I know where I was going to land. Coming from the midwest I was used to getting shit for the way I dressed. Alot…

I never really got hassled at my new school. At Cholla, everyone seemed to respect the fact that I stood out and went out on a limb to do so. But every once in a while, I did have a couple of goofballs that would yell out “Hey Sid Vicious!” They seemed to have fun doing it. They laughed at themselves more than at me and the way they talked it seemed they knew WHO Sid Vicious at was. 

Finally one day, I “confronted” them. “What’s up with the SID VICIOUS stuff, man?” 

They just busted out laughing and invited me to lunch with them. We were friends from that moment forward.

The lunch’s at this school meant you could leave campus to pursue other options. In Indiana, that was never the case, we couldn’t even leave the parking lot. We were pretty removed and it was a haul to get food around there. When I first learned we could leave for lunch here in Tucson, I was blown away.In this new situation, I often found myself not wanting to return for the second half of the day.

But these two guys, Joe and Adam, are my new besties. We go to record stores and music stores and I even start to stay with their families at night so I don’t have to make the journey all the way out to my dads. Unbelievable kindness I was shown by total strangers.They are of Mexican descent and there parents are pretty much the kindest people I have ever encountered. They must have totally known what was up when I was around there houses. They fed me, and looked the other way as I climbed in and out of there windows at night to sleep in a safe place.

Adam and Joe also are musicians. And this is a HUGE plus. 

Adam plays guitar and is hugely influenced by Peter Buck of R.E.M. and Joe plays a Gibson S.G. bass. They both have a wacky sense of humor. A ton of inside jokes between them and just a real loose attitude. I would like to think they were EMO way before that was even a thing.

They don’t drink and they love the Descendants. We would listen to records in Adams room and talk about them. Sometimes, he would just take it off the turntable and give the record to me if he didn’t like it. That happened a few times. We would jam on his guitar and play tunes. They also are forming a band.

And needed a drummer. 

See, when I moved out to Arizona, I had pretty much put the drums behind me and was giving the guitar ALL my attention. I practiced a lot and loved the instrument. I would hole up in my dads trailer with Zero Boys on my walkman and the guitar plugged into my amp. I just played all day long out there in that hot tin can.

But, drummers were as rare as hens teeth in Tucson and these guys offered to buy me a drum set if I played in their band. Count me in like Dee Dee Ramone.

My dad had usually called me up around Christmas every year with the same shameful call… “So, what are you into? Drums huh?!?! Maybe I’ll get you a drum set for Christmas!” Man, I heard that for years and the balls it must have taken him to get the courage up to make that call. To lie to his own kids face. Over and over… Well, not literally to his face.

And here these home boys wanted to buy me a drum set? TODAY?!?!

MY first ever drum kit was bought by Adam Lopez. A friend that was working as a bus boy.

More on that in a minute…

Thank you Adam. My gratitude is eternal. 

He took me downtown Tucson to the legendary Chicago Store. That place deserves a story of its own for sure....

Now, Adam always seemed to have a little extra scratch to spend. I was broke as shit all the time. I remember asking him one day how he got all this “cash” he had. He told me he worked as a bus boy at night at an Italian Restaurant. This had my interest. “Hey, If they ever need any help, let me know” I offered. It was almost immediately that I got the job. We would carpool together from school and then I would crash at Adam’s. 

I would sneak in and out the window in the morning so his parents wouldn’t know. They eventually found out, and when they did, they insisted that I stay in the guest house that was outfitted for Adam’s older brother to live in. He was away at the time and this was an awesome opportunity for me. I would actually stay in the park across the street from Adams house sometimes just so I wouldn’t jeopardize  him getting in trouble or me wearing out my welcome

.

So, at this point, we are attached at the hip and if I remember correctly, it was Adam who was going to a new school. It was an alternative H.S. called Project MORE. This was exactly what I needed.

The restaurant we worked at was called Scordatos and it’s kind of a big deal in Tucson. From memory, it was basically an “upscale” Italian joint. The location seemed to add to the overall “allure” of the place.

When hired, I was alerted to the movie stars who would wonder in from time to time. 3 Amigos had just filmed in Old Tucson and I had heard that Steve Martin had come into the restaurant recently. It was talked about in hushed tones and secrecy. We were told in no uncertain terms to NEVER approach the guest.

Makes perfect sense. They are out for a nice dinner and don’t want the attention or the hassle. I GET IT…..

And then it happened!!!

It was just another normal shift. Take out the trash, feed the leftover lettuce to the Javelina that wondered down from the hills at dusk. Back inside, change the linens, get the silverware, wipe the booths down and be seen and not heard. Also, stay out of the way of the waiters and their guest. This was my first real taste of work and I was just getting the whole feel of my place and getting my timing right. So, I was changing a table’s linen one night. I happened to be about two tables from the door where customers come in from the outside. Just as the floating table clothe lands on the table, the door opens. About 3-4 people come in. Just fuzzy shapes to my peripheral vision. 

Not really noticing faces or anything… 

They stand for about 10 seconds waiting for staff to help them and no one is coming to help them as I continue my work and stay out of the way. Then the room starts to go silent. The phrase “Can kill conversation, just by walking in a room”? That was this situation to a tee. Forks hit the plates and you just heard clanking silverware, murmurs and whispers. 

I looked up from the forks and spoons I was setting and notice the party had moved closer to ME as I seemed to be the only “Help” that was there. As, I go to give them a standard greeting like “My name is Dean, and someone will be right with you.”, I look at their faces for the first time really. 

It was like seeing Mt. Rushmore or something for the first time. Something so familiar is staring right back at you. I takes a second to register that this is a face you’ve seen a million times before. On TV? On album covers? So familiar but foreign because of the reality of the situation.

“I’m Johnny Cash” the tall man of the party says as he extends his long arm and shakes my hand.

By this time, it sunk in that this was indeed, the man in black. 

JC- Johnny F’n Cash.

I watched his show on TV growing up. My grandparents listened to him. My parents listened to him. He was synonymous with AMERICA. The gravity of the situation was swirling in my head.

When we shook hands, the rest of the group started to take focus. He was there with June Carter and his daughter Rosanne Cash. Un Frickin’ Believable….

I worried for a nano second about my job and the policy I knew they had about guest. Maybe they would take it easy on me? In truth, I didn’t care AND I didn’t  get in trouble at all. 

But, I did get to meet the Man in Black and the most important women in his life. 

While a very brief encounter, this sticks with me today.

It’s about time and place. Synchronistic stuff.  

I probably would have lost my mind if I had worked a different day and had missed my shot. 

But as fate would have it… we met.

I honored him the day of my marriage. When I married the most important woman in my life. 

Darcy and I had planned to sing “If I were a carpenter” at our wedding. We practiced for a month or two before the big day. Me on guitar and her doing the June Carter parts. 

We were married on Sept. 13th. 2003.

It was Sept. 12th  2003 when Johnny Cash passed away.

As fate would have it…

[theaveragekenyan]

Hungry Heart...

Hungry Heart.

A quick game of ‘Family Fortunes’. (Family Fortunes the game show where the answers were requested from a publicly polled question, i.e)

Q = Name a type of American Food.

A = Hamburger ....our survey says, Hamburger ✅ Top answer.

Next;

Q - Name a type of Italian Food.

A = Pizza …our survey says, Pizza ✅ Top Answer

Next;

Q - Name a type of Kenyan food.

A = Ugali…our survey says, Ugali ✅ Top Answer. 

I’m confident the above responses would be the most popular answers to those questions if a survey were taken on the streets of Nairobi today.  

Ask Donald Trump, what’s better than a Hamburger? Juicy, succulent ground beef with tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, pickle, mustard, ketchup all held together by an air pumped bread bun…nothing fake at all about that. 

Or what about a Pizza? oven fired circular dough, topped with an infinite amount of cheese options under any mix of vegetables and meat varieties…a billion deliveries every year can’t be wrong.

And let’s not forget a Kenyan staple, Ugali, ground maize meal, mixed with boiling water and then formed into a solid white ball. Delicious, well, ok…it’s not really delicious…it’s more a way of life and enjoyed because there’s very little other choice. 

Kenyan Food is interesting, because historically, food has developed into…well…food.

The food theory hasn’t moved too far away from the ‘don’t eat, die’ philosophy rather than into fancy cuisine. 

This is why I find the average Kenyan meal to be “BnB”, basic and bland, and Ugali has to stand right up there as a great example of BnB food.

Ugali has various names across Africa and is eaten by many, so African’s aside, It is a guarantee that all foreigner’s will be quizzed by Kenyan’s to find out if they have eaten Ugali. If the answer is yes, the next question will be ‘do you like Ugali?’

And this is when the foreigner will become increasingly awkward, stutter and generally skirt around the BnB fact. The foreigner will mince out cloaked enthusiasm and say “Yes…I’ve tried it…it’s nice…I…..like it” blatantly, the foreigner doesn’t want to get anywhere near describing it’s taste or what it’s eaten with. Essentially anything to not offend the Kenyan national dish.

Then, in the not too distant future, the foreigner will be with the person, that asked all of the Ugali questions, when Lunch is served. 

Naturally, the foreigner will be bumped up to pole position in the queue for food.

The food will be covered, all the lids down on the large metallic serving trays and then one by one up they pop. First serving tray open and it’s a large fresh tray of steaming Ugali.

As the cellophane is proudly pealed away,  “Ugali” announces the Kenyan “You said Ugali is nice” 

Now the food server hears this and loves it, how they laugh as the heavy serving spoon sinks into the epic Ugali field. The foreigner is now looking at the true scale of Ugali, out comes a Rugby ball sized portion and is placed on their plate “is that enough?” the server asks without irony. 

“Yes, plenty, Asantee” squirms the foreigner politely. On piles the rest of lunch, but there’s not much room on the plate for anything else. So the foreigner sits down at a table, with their plate of Ugali and other small scale assorted bitings, as the Kenyan’s join.

They all ask the same question “Oh, you like Ugali?” “Yes, I do, but this is a little bit too much for me” replies the foreigner, only to be met with “Oh that’s not much really” from the Kenyan’s, the foreigner looks around and realises this is no lie, food is stacked up on top of Ugali which rises up to peoples chests, steam touching their chins. The foreigner takes the first enthusiastic fork full to barrels of laughter 

“Eat it with your hands” say the Kenyans, 

“We eat Ugali with our hands” the advice continues to come in. 

The foreigner now has to quickly scan around to check how that’s done, they see many shovelling hands with golf ball sized portions of Ugali, scooping up sauce and trapping bits of meat and spinach. The foreigner gives it a go, but soon realise they’ve broken off too much Ugali and now their ball is the size of a Tennis ball. Oh dear, now they’ve got to eat up more Ugali than they thought they ever could. Each bite feels like it’s draining brain juice as their mouth dries to resemble the Sahara desert. There’s easily still 4 more bites of the Ugali ball to go. It’s time for evasive action, “hmmmm tha wath delithuth” splutters the foreigner as they stand up, turn around and spit their mouths content onto their plate and scrape it into the bin, I’ll never eat Ugali again they tell themselves.  

I think the closest comparison to Ugali would be Mashed Potatoes, well mashed potatoes if you don’t add salt, pepper, butter and milk. At least with mashed spuds, the extra additions don’t stop there; cheese, beetroot, butternut, Brussels, balsamic vinegar, mustard, soy sauce, chilli sauce all work to break up the classic spud recipe’s monotony.  Nothing like that with Ugali, oh hang on…it can be made either white or brown…the only difference being, brown Ugali soaks up your blood. 

Speaking of Mashed Potato, there is a fancy mash version here called Mukimo, it’s very nice. It’s bright green and has whole kernels of hard maize in it. I prefer it to Ugali, but it’s definitely one to serve yourself and not have a Kenyan do it for you. 

For the the larger part of Kenya, food is readily available, but with the poverty found in such places as the Nairobi slums, food has to be simple and within a ridiculously low daily budget, people don’t have too much of a choice to be flambéing duck or questioning how many times their chips have been deep fried. 

From my travels, I’ve noticed that many Kenyan meals will have been cooked for a good proportion of the day. Usually a slow cook involves beans and pulses, incredibly healthy, wholesome and organic, but also served incredibly dull. It’s essentially a bean stew with little flavour or signature kick. It’s like a can of ‘no frills vegetable soup’ that’s been boiled for 5 hours. It has a certain appeal, but it’s nothing special, yet to talk to a Kenyan about boiled beans or “Githeri” as it’s called, is, as if, it is some kind of speciality cuisine. Each region seems to have it’s own version, but the variety doesn’t seem to change that much, maybe one region adds carrots or potatoes and that’s about it. I guarantee, if that dish had originated in one of the poorest regions of China, it would be a real delicacy now. Sure you’d get the odd bat claw stuck between your teeth, but nonetheless, I imagine it would be an overall tastier experience than “Githeri”. Thanks Chef’s of Kenya, but I’ll stick with the English delicacy of baked beans on toast, cupboard to table in less than 10 minutes. 

That slow cooking style reverberates through many culinary styles. In fact, most food is slow cooked, this is why the over 70’s love eating here. Pasta is never al-dente, cabbage doesn’t come with a crunch, meat is a lottery as to how how much jaw action will be needed and eggs are always over cooked. Unless you’re in a Western priced Hotel or restaurant, food is never considered to be served ‘just cooked’, I’m yet to find a boiled salad, but I know it’s out there. Note to self, Boiled Salad, somebody get me Heston Blumenthal. 

The word Koroga means 'to stir’ in Swahili. A ‘foody’ experience, that is often talked about, is the Koroga. This is apparently a uniquely Kenyan Swahili experience. However, from my experience, what I was told about a Koroga and what I actually encountered at a Koroga were two completely different experiences.

This is what I was told about a Koroga.

A Koroga is a get together of family and friends who will start the event off by selecting meats, vegetables, herbs and spices and then start adding them all into a large pot. These ingredients will be cooked by the party as as the pot is regularly stirred by the party, whilst  allowing everything to cook for about 4-5 hours.

A Curry based BBQ, I mean that sounds like a proper great time. 

No, not quite, in fact from my experience, this is what actually happens.

A Koroga is a get together of family and friends who, once everyone has arrived and is indicated to start will instruct a Chef to add meat, vegetables, herbs and spices into a large pan and then cook everything for the guests, this will be then served 3-4 hours later when the most stirred things are the guests who are totally shit-faced from all the boozing whilst waiting for the food to be cooked. I just think the Koroga idea hasn’t really been properly thought out. It’s closest relative the BBQ or Braai work extremely well, but its USP is about DIY food and standing around the grill complaining. The Koroga’s USP is that the Chef decided to cook everything outside rather than in the kitchen, sorry, I just don’t get the appeal. 

One dish that is cooked quickly, at least I think it’s cooked quickly, is Nyama Choma. 

Translated literally - Nyama is meat - Choma is burn.  A Meat Burn. 

“I’ve heard it’s going to be lovely on Saturday, so you’re all invited around to ours for a Meat Burn” 

Fortunately, the meat isn’t burnt, not like at UK BBQ’s,

The choices of meat are;

Mbuzi = Goat. 

Kuku = Chicken. 

Nyama = any other type of Red Meat that is from a Cow. 

Sorry Lamb and Pork, this scene is not for you, go find your own Meat Burn.

Just like any badly managed BBQ/Braai, the final cook quality is hit and miss, the hits involve nice juicy tender bites of meat and sucked out marrowbone.  The misses include, chewy, sinewy, fatty meat if you can find it, and once again the experience lacks imagination. The only seasoning you will get is salt and there will only be one accompaniment to the meat which is called Kachumbari, a mix of tomato, onion and chilli.

So Kenyan Meat Burn’s are for the real purists only. I do love Nyama Choma though, if not just for it’s back to basic 10,000 BC appeal. 

One experience I never tire of, is a Kenyan breakfast in a Hotel. The breakfast routine follows the International standard of the best planned meal of the day. It starts at the Juice bar and ends up at the bloated Pig table. There’s always a great choice at a Kenyan breakfast, although many will be disappointed at the lack of bacon on offer, that’s because Kenyan’s prefer sausages to Bacon hands down. 

I like that many of the previous nights dinner offerings will be now re-served for breakfast. So there are always surprises to be had like Green Banana Curry, Githeri, Fish stew, Roast Potatoes, Lentil Stew and anything else that didn’t get eaten the night before.

Hands down, my favourite experience of a Kenyan breakfast is observing the Egg Chef. You’ll know it’s the Egg Chef because they will be dressed like the top google image search for Chef. 

The egg is treated with the most respect, kept separately and away from all the other dishes that are hidden underneath aluminium lids. The Eggs will never come into contact with the mixed up serving spoons covered in bean juice and banana curry, they are not good enough for the eggs. But wait, what’s this, what’s hiding underneath here?, oh it’s the Hard Boiled Eggs, the common, dirty poor bastard parent of the free and easy, liberated, naked eggs that the Egg Chef will caress and massage into a beautiful work of art. 

The Egg chef will be situated at the start of the line, but when you want him, he won’t be there. I say he, the Egg Chef is always a he, no Woman in Kenya is considered prestigious enough to do this job. The Egg Chef and Kenyan President are two Jobs women will never perform. 

So what tends to happen is this, in the absence of the Egg Chef people will pile up their plates first. Then the Egg Chef appears exactly when he wants, just like the true artist he is, only then will the egg orders be taken. 

Now the only cooking utensils the Egg Chef possesses are a frying pan and a spatula. So this limits the type of egg available to either a Fried Egg or an Omelette. I always like to joke I’ll take a poached Egg, but it’s short-lived because nobody understands what I’m saying. Don’t be getting technical with the Egg Chef, his position of authority is untouchable. 

Fried Eggs will be cooked in either two choices, “cooked” or “sunny side up”. The majority of times I’ve requested Sunny Side Up, the eggs have been served closer to raw, which is a little too avant-garde for me. So, they have to be sent back which will be re-served ‘cooked’. 

My advice, request cooked. 

If you’re asking for an omelette it will be either served “with everything” or “without everything”. “Without everything” is a plain egg omelette “With everything” is an Omelette mixed with finely chopped onion, capsicum and chilli pepper. Both Omelette varieties are good, but as previously mentioned, they will be “cooked”, i.e a properly cooked through, no nonsense, fuss free, nothing moving, Omelette. That said, they go down well and the pomp and circumstance of the occasion overrides any need for a fancy, modern, runny consistency. 

I’ve spoken to many people that blame the style of Kenyan food on Colonisation. 

Typical, blame the Brits for bequeathing a bland stereotypical diet. 

This is not true, because anyone that says they don’t like British Cuisine then goes onto say, except they like Pork Pie, Mr Kipling Cakes, Sausage Rolls, Full English Breakfast, Chicken Tikka Masala, Black Pudding, Sausage and Mash, Fish and Chips, Mushy Peas, Deep Fried Mars Bar, Jammie Dodgers, Sunday Roast, The Tasting Menu at The Fat Duck, Gordon Ramsey swearing, Monster Munch, Jellied Eels and Roast Badger. 

There, conclusive evidence that England has a varied and incredibly well established culinary tradition of original and modern food. 

So whilst there is an excellent and extensive varied selection of Kenyan restaurants, serving truly excellent food, once you step outside of all that and roam into the realms of “lazy” Kenyan food, you will be craving Pickled Onion Monster Munch all day long. 

[themiddlelayer]

It’s Just a Fantasy...

As Billy Joel sang, “...it’s not the real thing. Sometimes a fantasy is all you need!”

Jersey got in touch again today. It was 5 years ago last week that I left the job where we met. He managed the factory, I worked in the office. On the surface, he was just this hot Italian guy in jeans and flannel shirts who made me feel like a silly schoolgirl with a crush whenever I saw him walk by. I had no idea at the time, but there was so much more to him.

On my last day of work he stopped by my desk and handed me his card. He seemed to stammer, “Um, if you need a reference or something” His cell number was hand-written on the back. I remember holding onto that card until it was soft from my sweaty palms... I felt like I had to hide it, even though MM and I were non-monogamous. I felt like I had to hide the goofy grin that kept coming up... the embarrassing blush... and I finally got the nerve up to write my number down to give him. It took me another few minutes to work up the courage to try to bring it to him in his office. I honestly don’t remember if I actually gave it to him before I left. I think I did, but he later said that he lost it so he was glad I messaged him.

Somehow we started chatting shortly after. My memory is awful... I’m remembering an awkward kiss goodbye in the parking lot of the Mill that had the bar/restaurant I’d go on dates at. He seemed afraid to actually kiss me properly... because he is married. 

At the time, he was living in MD and his wife and son were back in New Jersey. Apparently he had lived apart from them quite a bit over the years. I was really trying to behave myself and keep my non-monogamy ethical. MM and I actually had more than one tense conversation about him because he was a cheater. 

I moved to AZ and he continued to just pop up from time to time like people tend to do with me. The more we chatted, the more enamored I became. Mr. Hot Italian in Flannel is a volunteer firefighter, an artist... a painter, and a DJ. He would play rooftop parties in NYC and things like that. Big deal parties with big paychecks. 

He talked about being hit on by one of my favorite artists, Keith Haring, when he hung out at the Paradise Garage or “Gay-rage” as it was called. We talked about his love of Jean-Michel Basquiat and the art he wanted to make. 

Our conversations always woke up this part of me that just wanted to be more, create more, live more. 

Last time he surfaced, he was talking about whether to move out of the suburbs and to a beach town or back to the city. He’s never outright said that he’s not happy at home, but all he has ever talked about is running away from it. His son was the only part of his ‘real life’ that he ever talked about, and he’s in college now. 

From time to time, he’d talk about meeting up in Vegas for a weekend or him coming to Arizona because he’s never been here. Today when we were chatting we talked about Sedona. He sent me a link to a beautiful resort where he said a friend of his stayed. We talked about driving into Mexico together, just because I’ve been here almost 5 years and haven’t crossed the border. I told him about Bisbee... an old mining town that’s a crazy mix of hippies and real life ranchers where ghost hunter shows like to come. 

He said, “Who knows, if I come out there I may never leave... sounds enticing.” And he asked if there’s a volunteer fire department in my town. He even followed up on that saying that his certs are ‘pro board’ so they will transfer from state to state. It’s just a fantasy... oh, oh, oh, oh... (Billy Joel again) But what a fantasy it is! 

I wish I knew what it is about Jersey. We literally had 2 dates-ish. We worked at the same address, but barely spoke beyond the pleasantries and work-stuff during the staff lunches in the conference room. I only learned that he was married and that she’s Puerto Rican with the stereotypical hot latin temper when he brought something to work that she’d cooked. 

Whatever it is, it’s mutual. Today he said, “You have always been fuel for my soul... can’t explain it... the paths we have taken are different but the emotion is parallel. If that makes any sense.”  And it totally does in that I feel it, but it makes no sense whatsoever. 

That’s a thing with me that I’ve never been able to find the root of. When someone clicks, they just click. There is no halfway with my feelings. 

The Mad Scientist is a prime example of that. We only dated as a triad of sorts with MM for a few months, then the two of us for a few more weeks or so. During those times, we didn’t see each other often and I really knew very little about his day to day life. I only went to his house once the entire time. He had a pot-bellied pig named Hibiscus Tea aka ‘Hibby’ at the time, and I saw a massage table set up in a half-room of sorts off the foyer and felt jealous for no good reason. And I was so in love with him. 

I know the thing that happened with him... he looked me in the eyes and called me by my name in bed. It was a kind of intimacy I’d never experienced, and have only had with one other partner since, Nomad. Just talking about it makes my heart flutter. 

Part of me wants to reach out to him... to see if he’s happy and make sure he knows I still think of him often... and it makes smile. But I know better. What if he’s not happy? Or what if he is, but hearing from me brings stuff up for him? Or the ultimate what if that’s always been in the back of my mind... what if he meant more to me than I meant to him? Ugh.

Whatever the case, fantasy is all I’ve got right now. That’s something else that Jersey and I talked about.... the virus. He’s been helping EMT’s and fire duty has been busy because of people setting fires in their kitchen more often. He’s been quarantined other than fire duty for a week now and said that ‘people are dying left and right’ out there. 

The fantasy now is once this virus thing is over and we can get back to normal life...Once they find a vaccine and it’s safe to travel again...

But part of me feels like there will never be normal life like it once was. Between the economic crash, the hoarding, the lack of concrete information because of limited testing, all of the unknown and the panic it’s induced... 

Even if the country... the world... finally goes back to being ‘open for business’ as the commander-in-tweet kept talking about, it won’t be the same. Lots of people are saying that it’s for the best that it won’t be the same. That we have the chance to build something better. But that kind of rebuilding, no matter what it ends up looking like, takes a long time. 

I’m afraid this will become my normal... that I won’t ever get out there and date again. I’m afraid that I’m a couple cats away from being that sad, old cat lady everyone looks at and wonders... what happened to her? Only nobody could look at me because I’m such a reclusive hermit that seeing me outside my apartment is limited to when I check my mail and the days I tote my laundry to Cookie’s and try to feel some sense of family and belonging again. 

Fuck that got morbid. 

Time for me to attempt sleep... and look for a pair of pantyhose. I’m allowing Faust to Dom me without being my Dom. It’s a weird balancing act, but having some accountability and direction feels good. I’ll roll with it. 

#jersey #the mad scientist #covidー19 #the virus #crazy cat lady #billy joel #sedona #fantasy

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Worn To The Bones - fic

Characters: Damian Wayne, Jon Kent Pairing: Jondami Summary: One thing was clear: Jonathan could not go out on patrol like this. So Damian would see to it that he didn’t. A/N: The lads are in their mid-twenties and live together. Obviously an established relationship. I miss Colin so he’s in there. The phone call is basically Colin reiterating that he too has seen that Jon needed a break, and knew that his burn out was coming, and also for Damian to remember that it’s to be all about Jon so he can’t be a pissy royal baby about anything especially food. After they stuff their faces and watch the movie, Jon spends hours talking about his day and his feelings and probably cries a few times. Damian just holds him and listens and continues to hold him even as he falls asleep. Damian also called them both off work the next day while Jon was in the shower so they basically lay in bed and stare romantically at each other all day. Alfred purrs the whole time because he loves his human dads. Inspired by: ‘Let’s Hurt Tonight’ by OneRepublic. 

~~

He was in the living room, doing some pre-patrol yoga with Alfred the cat, when the front door opened, and was roughly slammed shut.

He carefully lowered himself down onto his knees, even as Alfred mewed and trotted towards the foyer. Damian craned his neck to look over the back of the sofa, a greeting already on his lips. He held it though, when he saw Jon’s state.

Shoulders slumped, head bowed, leaned back against the door he’d just closed.

“Jonathan?” He called quietly, gracefully shifting up onto his feet. Jon didn’t move, even as Damian came towards him. Watched as Alfred meowed some more, rubbed against Jon’s ankles. Normally, that’d send Jon into a fit of smiles and cooing. Today, it appeared, not so much. “Are you alright?”

Jon shrugged when he felt Damian’s fingers skim his arm. “Long day, I guess.”

“You guess?” Damian questioned.

“Work sucked. My boss was pissed all day. Nothing really got done. Not to mention I got in a fight with Dad over lunch. Mom is, of course, taking his side. When she’s not interrogating me about my own life anyway. Then I was going through some of the evidence on the case we’re working on right now – turns out we’re barking up the completely wrong tree. Oh, and did I mention a lady dropped her groceries so I went to help her, and she hit me with her cane? Broke my glasses. Then a cheerleader from the high school spit on me while I was waiting for a bus. I don’t know why. She appeared to be spitting on everyone she passed, including a pigeon eating a fry.” Jon sighed, ran a hand down his face. Damian only just now realized the glasses were absent. “So I’m just…tired, I guess.”

Jon finally looked up at him then, his typical soft smile already on his lips even though he clearly didn’t want it there. There were light circles under his eyes – Jon wasn’t just tired, he was exhausted. Worn out and hiding it, just like he always tried to do.

(He always failed, though. Damian always saw it. Just never knew what to say. Never knew how to help, so he just opted for the next best option – not helping at all. Ignored it and let Jon think he’d ‘pulled a fast one.’ Let him think he bested one of the world’s greatest detectives.)

“But enough about me. How was your day?” Jon tried, voice still tight, but iced with fake pleasantness. “Sorry I’m home late, by the way. But I can be ready for patrol in twenty minutes, if you can wait for me.”

Damian just looked him over. The light bruise on his head, his crumbled jacket. He could see the still-drying spit on the knee of his jeans. His nails were picked to the cuticle – a habit when Jon got nervous or stressed. Always present when the stress and nerves is caused by his parents.

Then Jon’s stomach growled.

(He said he’d fought with Clark over lunch. And the Kent boys’ arguments were legendary. Rivaled the fights between him and his own father. Could go hours. Or days. Regardless, over lunch – Jon hadn’t eaten all day.)

“Oh, you know what?” Jon suddenly waved his hand. “Forget I said that. It’s my fault I’m late, I’m not gonna force you to change your schedule just for me. Go on ahead, I’ll just catch-”

“…No.” Damian cut off, and Jon looked surprised, almost hurt. “Jonathan, we’re not going to do that.”

Jon cocked his head as Damian suddenly pulled at his jacket, tugging it off his shoulders. “Do what?”

But Damian didn’t answer. Tossed the jacket to the corner, and leaned down to pick up his cat before spinning away, back towards the family room.

“Damian?” Jon asked, remaining at the door. Damian gently deposited Alfred onto the nearby loveseat, swung around an end table to shut the open window – the one they always opened as they prepared for the night’s patrol.

“Chinese? Or Italian? Or would you like to just have ice cream and sweets for dinner?” Damian asked, pulling out his phone, dialing a number.

“Dinner…?” Jon mumbled as Damian disappeared into the kitchen. “But it’s late…? And patrol…”

“Wilkes?” Damian hummed into the phone. “Yes, we’re fine. But I’ve decided that we’re taking the night.” A pause and Jon felt his mouth drop open. “…Yes, he does, and I will see to it that he gets what he needs.” Another stop. “Yes, I’m aware. And I’ve asked him, but he has yet to answer. Please inform Grayson and whomever else you feel needs to know. Be honest if you wish to be. I’m indifferent to what you tell anyone. Mhm. Mhm. Thank you. Bye.”

Damian reappeared, hanging up the phone. Looked up at Jon expectantly. Jon could only stare at him as Damian glided back towards him. “You…We’re taking the night off?”

“Yes.” Damian said, matter-of-factly. “Have you decided what you wanted for dinner?”

“But…Damian.” Jon laughed incredulously. “The city needs us.”

“You need your rest more.” Damian countered. Reached around Jon’s shoulder and loudly locked the deadbolt behind him. Kept his hand there, his wrist brushing the hairs on Jon’s neck as he whispered: “…I need you to be okay, more.”

“But I’m fine, Damian.” Jon offered. “I told you, I’m just tired.”

“No, you’re worn out. You’re being beaten down, and pulled in too many different directions.” Damian put his other hand on Jon’s arm. Smiled softly. “It’s called burn-out, Jonathan. And believe it or not, even I get there sometimes too.”

“The great Damian Wayne gets burnt out?” Jon smirked. Damian chuckled and pushed off the door, took hold of Jon’s wrists and gently pulled him forward. “Where are we going?”

“The bedroom.”

“Damian,” Jon sighed, letting himself be led anyway. “I’m not…really in the mood for…”

“Don’t be obscene.” Damian snorted. “You’re going to shower and change into whatever you feel most comfortable in this evening. I’ll order dinner and wait for the delivery person. Then we will lie in bed and you can tell me about your day, or what you’re feeling, or nothing. We can just watch those terrible movies you enjoy, and – I swear – I will keep my commentary to a minimum.”

“…What if I like your commentary?” Jon asked. Unimportant, he knew, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Whatever you want, we’ll do.” Damian reworded. “Just so long as it involves lying in that bed and you resting.”

Jon laughed. “Damian, I’m fine.”

“And after a mandatory twenty-four hour observation, I will make that determination.” Damian declared royally, though they both knew it was a joke. When they reached the bedroom, Damian spun Jon around, in the direction of the bathroom. “Now, go clean yourself up. Take as long as you need.”

“…Okay.” Jon whispered. Then, before Damian could escape, tugged him forward with his own grip, and kissed his forehead. Lingered there, then looked down into those bright teal eyes. “Thank you.”

Damian just smiled, released Jon’s wrists, and went to dash back into the apartment. But Jon caught him at the doorframe.

“Damian?”

The other glanced over his shoulder.

“Chinese with ice cream dessert?”

Damian grinned, nodded, and turned away once more. Jon watched him go, before shaking his head and disappearing into their bathroom.

And…maybe Damian had been right. The second the hot water hit his skin, he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. The crap at work, the crap with his family. Just…the crap. Of everything.

He could feel tears in his eyes, as he leaned his face against the cool tile of the shower. Could have fallen asleep right there. Thought about doing it, honestly. But, you know, the drowning in only a few inches of water thing. And his bed was much more comfortable.

So after what felt like hours, he forced himself away from the warmth of the water, with the idea of the warmth of his bed – and of the man he’d by lying in it with – as his incentive. Dried himself, threw on boxers, took a deep inhale. (Something he felt he hadn’t done in months.)

He was ready to relax.

But when he emerged from the bathroom, he couldn’t help but stop immediately. Freeze, as he watched Damian set up a tray beside the bed. Full of all of Jon’s favorites from the restaurant down the street, beautifully displayed on plates. A 3-liter bottle of Jon’s favorite soda – that he didn’t drink often, due to its lack of health value – sat behind the plates, on the corner of the tray. In the other corner was a brown bucket, a gallon of gelato on ice within it.  

Alfred was flopped comfortably along the bottom of the mattress.

And Damian was a Bat. Damian was so focused on getting what Jon wanted and needed, that he hadn’t even turned the lights on. Just the TV, probably for background noise.

Otherwise, it was dark. And Jon realized – he kind of wanted it that way.

Still, it was a secondary thought, because his own focus was on Damian, and how kind he was being. How hard he was working to make sure Jon was okay. Turned his back on his city and his duty and the only thing he’d ever wanted to do with his life…for him.

“Why?” He whispered. Damian turned to look at him, his eyes glowing in the light of the television. Looked like stars, like the ocean. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because you need it.” Damian returned gently.

“But you wouldn’t do this for…for Dick. Or for your dad or…for anyone.” Jon shook his head. “Not…not that it’s a bad thing, or it makes you a bad person, I just mean…”

But Damian smiled, and stepped towards him. Hooked his fingers around Jon’s.

“Beloved,” Damian murmured. “You are not just anyone.”

And he felt those tears in his eyes again, as he took in Damian’s words, stared at his gorgeous face. Then collapsed into his arms, clung to Damian’s shoulders, buried his face in his neck, as Damian silently rubbed his back.

“What do you need, Jonathan?” Damian asked tenderly. “Tell me and I’ll get it for you.”

“Lay with you.” Jon tried weakly, his emotions pulsing through his veins. How much he loved Damian. How defeated he felt by the world. How worn out he really was. Everything. “…I just want to lay with you. I’m so tired. Please.”

“Done.” Damian promised. Shifting in Jon’s grip only so he could lead him to their bed. Carefully, he untangled himself from Jon to pull the covers back. Let Jon crawl onto their mattress, then motioned to a plate. “Food?”

“You first.” Jon breathed, holding his arms out. Damian chuckled, and crawled into the blankets after him. Wrapped them both up in it as Jon clung to his waist, rested his head against his chest. Listened to his heartbeat and relished in the sound.

Damian wrapped an arm around Jon’s shoulders, kept him close as he grabbed a plate with his free hand. Rested it on Jon’s hip. Grabbed only one fork – a clear sign that he was going to hand-feed Jon if he so chose it.

As soon as the food was settled, Damian lifted the remote, and changed the television to one of Jon’s favorite movies. Softly began stroking his fingers through Jon’s hair as the credits began.

Jon just smiled, closed his eyes for a moment, and squeezed Damian’s hip in equal parts gratitude and adoration.

Damian just kissed his head and held him.

He was starting to feel better already.

#Damian Wayne #jon kent #jondami

[lucyannabear]

Chapter Two: It’s a work in progress so it’s not finished yet. 03/10/2017.

I scrunched my face, blinked at the sun streaming through the gaps in my blinds, scrunched my face again and blinked some more. It was seven-thirty and I had to make my way across town for eight thirty, ready for my shift at a gorgeous little brasserie that I’d worked in for a few months now. I’d finally got the hang of everything, from pulling pints, to folding napkins in fancy ways. It certainly wasn’t a glamorous job, but it did bring in more than enough money for me to pay for my teensy apartment. The estate agent called it “cosy.” I called it “a box.” Still, tomayto, tomato – right?

With half an hour until I had to leave, I always got ready quickly so that I could sit and cradle a coffee whilst I woke up properly. Doing just that, I stood in front of my full-length mirror. Before me, stood a tall, slender young woman. I sighed at my reflection. I wasn’t one of those girls who hated how they looked, it was more to do with the fact that I’d never felt connected with the vessel that carried my brain, heart and soul around.

I walked closer to get a better look at my silver eyes and long, shiny blonde hair that hung in effortless waves. I reached out and touched my reflection with my fingertips, hoping that today would be the day where touching the cold glass would somehow form a bond and connection with my appearance. No such luck.

I rolled my eyes at myself for being such a weirdo about it all, before I pulled on my black work shirt and black trousers. It wasn’t the worst uniform in the world and it was a damn sight better than some of my old uniforms. I’d once worked for a nightclub and had to hand out leaflets dressed as a giant Manhattan drink… Complete with a cherry on top. Nice.

My hair was shoved up into a ponytail and I put a little bit of make-up on for a little boost of confidence. It was only when I stirred my coffee and stared into space that the memory of the dream I’d had before I woke up, started playing on my mind. I sat down at my little bistro kitchen table in my “cosy” kitchen to mull it over.

I’d been having these dreams for as long as I remember. Most people say “since I was young.” But for me, I had absolutely no memory of being young. My earliest memory was only a few years ago, and in that time, I’d come no closer to discovering who I really was. As far as my memory was concerned, I came into the world some time ago and had always been alone. Judging by my appearance, I was about twenty-four years old, but I quite literally hadn’t changed in the whole of my “conscious lifetime.”

In my dreams, I could do everything that I can do now in the real world. The only difference was him. I didn’t know who he was, what his name was, where he’d come from or anything. All I knew was that he was “the one” and that my heart and soul seemed to recognise and yearn for him. I’d have definitely known if I’d seen him around before because he was the finest looking gentlemen I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.

The best theory I’d come up with so far was that he was a figment of my imagination and so that’s why my heart and soul seemed so attached and complete whenever we met in my dreams. I sipped my coffee thoughtfully as his words echoed around my head. If he was a figment, what did he mean when he said that things were about to change?

I knew I was extraordinary as far as the world would be concerned if they ever found out about my secret, however foresight and clairvoyance were not my forte or within my skillset. I looked at the clock and decided I’d give it some thought later on. I downed the rest of my coffee, brushed my teeth, grabbed my headphones and phone and left for the bus stop.

It was another glorious day in Byron Bay, Australia. The Autumnal March sun was warming the morning nicely, and a cloudless sky had me breathe a sigh of relief. Things got complicated for me when it rained – hence why I picked Australia. I nodded my thanks to the sky and stood at my stop. I plugged my ears with my music – Classical to be precise.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like buses. I just found that being in the presence of the general public was very overwhelming. Of course, that was really weird coming from someone who worked in a brasserie. However, after a few trips to the doctors, I’d managed to wangle myself a diagnosis of “social phobia.” I then declared that on all of my application forms so that my employers were under the impression that I’d need “time out” to gather my wits again.

Wit gathering was what I was doing every time I ducked out and into the quietness of the back alley, but it wasn’t because of social phobia. I had a very… Unique talent. Part of who, or rather what I was meant that I could read people’s minds. Yep. That’s right. Telepathy. Awesome, right?

Wrong.

It got so loud and unfathomably chaotic in my mind. Imagine sitting in a room with one hundred people who quite literally never stop talking. Humans think everything – conscious and subconscious. Even when they’re asleep, I can see, feel and hear their dreams. That’s why I preferred a life of solitude. It could get extremely tiring, having to listen to a hundred-people thinking mundane thoughts about what they’ll make for their lunch tomorrow, or what time they should go to the gym.

Of course, there were the upsides. It was always nice to hear people’s thoughts of how “stunning” my eyes are or how attentive I’d been as their waitress. If someone was having trouble deciding what to pick off the menu, I could assist them accordingly without them even having to express the internal monologue and dilemma they’d been having. It definitely earned me brownie points with the customer, and with my boss – who was extremely lenient and understanding about my “phobia.”

Classical music in my ears was my escape. If I was focusing on the intricacy, delicacy and emotion of a song, the constant hubbub of humans around me faded away. I had pipedreams that I’d be able to use this particular “gift” for some good. However, if people caught wind of that, they’d start asking questions. And when they’d start asking questions, they might reveal secrets that I never want anyone to know. Ever.

I sighed as I looked out the window and watched the little town of Byron pass me by whilst I imagined his face. I always looked for him, every day. It was like I was constantly waiting for him, even though he didn’t exist. Something inside me gave me a little glimmer of hope and told me not to give up.

I couldn’t pinpoint it but I’d recently learned that I ought to trust my instinct because I was constantly developing new abilities and powers. So far, I had intuition and telepathy. It’s not a bad combination I suppose. I just didn’t know what to do with them, except tune out using Classical music.

Antonio’s Brasserie came into view as the bus approached a crossroad junction. I hopped off at the stop across the road and wandered across to my place of work. Antonio, as always, was stood waiting for me with a sweeping brush in his hand. It seemed to be a permanent accessory for the crazy but entirely loveable Italian man, but I seldom saw him actually use it…

He was a great boss and I loved him like he was an uncle. He looked after me, and I him. He’d left his family behind in Italy because they were extremely poor. He’d decided to come to Australia to work hard and set up his own business so that he could send plenty of cash back for him family. He got to visit them once a year, but other than that – we were just two lone souls who’d found a pal in one another.

We definitely made a good team, and with the other workers too, we had made Antonio’s Brasserie the highest rated establishment in all of Byron. We could become fully booked for weeks in advance and business was booming enough for us to have recently had a complete refurbishment and get plans underway for bringing Antonio’s family over to Australia. It was never an unpleasant restaurant by any stretch of the imagination, but now, the interior was plush, atmospheric and beautifully decorated.

The fish tank was my favourite, and I’d made it my own personal mission to see to the beautiful saltwater fish that we kept inside a tank which perfectly emulated their seabed reef home. I don’t mean to blow my own trumpet, but I know this because I’m perhaps what you’d call an “expert.” I knew an awful lot about the sea, and everything in it.

I smiled and waved cheerily to Antonio, who spotted me straight away.

“Ciao Bella! Good morning Venus! And how are you on this fine day?”

I looked up at the cloudless sky and back at the little moustached man before I gave him another big smile and nod.

“Excellent. We are not too busy, but we have very important visitors coming for lunch. We will reserve them the booth at the far end of the restaurant.”

Intrigued, my eyebrows furrowed slightly in curiosity. Antonio had never made this sort of announcement before.

#writing #book #creative writing #fiction #fiction author #fantasy fiction

[acrossthemar]

Europe 2019

5 countries, 6 cities, 18 days, 3 planes, 2 trains, and 1 rental car later, our European adventure is over.  This blog is mostly for my personal documentation of our trip, but I hope that it might also serve as a somewhat enjoyable read for anyone who might be interested in our travel! 

First Stop: Lake Como, Italy 

Day 1: An overnight flight from NYC to Milan, followed by an almost two hour car drive to Lake Como, we were quite tired when we arrived at our inn around 4pm. But our first mission was to beat the jet lag––absolutely no going to bed before 9pm despite our exhaustion. Our inn, Villa La Rosa B&B, was absolutely lovely, a beautiful family run property overlooking Lake Como and the surrounding mountains. We walked into the village, a short walk down a cobblestone alley, and quickly familiarized ourselves with the area. We then came back to our inn to sit by the pool for a bottle of champagne and a meat and cheese platter. (This would soon become a theme of the trip––18 days later and I think our ending ratio was 1 meat and cheese platter per every 2 days). We came back inside around 7 and both accidentally fell asleep––we woke up again at 8 and forced ourselves to head to the village for gelato. It was still light out and we were firm about our 9pm bed time. Eating gelato while half asleep was an experience I’m not sure I’d recommend.

Day 2: We started the day with a three mile run through the village. I love how this kills two birds with one stone, fitting in a workout on vacation and seeing areas you otherwise wouldn’t get to on foot. More thoughts on exercise and vacation below (a). After our run we spent the morning by the pool to read and have breakfast...and then very soon after have lunch at an Italian sandwich shop. When in Italy right? We hopped on a ferry to the nearby town of Veranna––spent the afternoon walking around, exploring, and kayaking. Came back to the inn and played cards over a bottle of champagne. Dinner that night was at La Punta, a lovely restaurant on the water. Favorite dish was the Salmon Pasta! (Cheese & meat plate #2 was also ordered.)

Day 3: This day was hard for me, I was absolutely exhausted. The jet lag plan didn’t work, and I was up more than half the night. Really jealous of those who can sleep on planes and aren’t affected by jet lag. Anyway, we took it easy that day. Spent some time reading by the pool and then we found an amazing pizza spot (Antico Pozzo) in town for a very late lunch. Such. good. pizza. (below). We were so full that dinner ended up being a combination of a beer tasting, cheese and meat plate (#3), and gelato.

Day 4: We then spent the morning reading by the pool and got another meat and cheese platter (#4) before we headed back to Milan to catch our flight to Munich. Quick note about the drive from Lake Como to Milan Airport––the streets were SO narrow and clearly built for only one car but they were all two way streets! Very scary! (see below)

Overall: LOVED Lake Como. Quaint city, stunning views in all directions, Italian food, cobblestone streets, the list goes on. It was far less touristy and crowded than we predicted, and the beauty felt natural. I think in my head I was picturing a similar feel to Santorini, which don’t get me wrong I loved, but Santorini is SO touristy and so manicured that it almost doesn’t feel real. I would DEFINITELY come back here.

Second Stop: Munich, Germany

Day 1: We successfully navigated public transit from the Airport to our hotel despite there being 1) no one to ask for help 2) no information desk 3) not speaking a word of German. Our hotel (Hotel Excelsior) was in a perfect central location. More on this below (b). We had a DELICIOUS dinner our first night in Munich at Munchner Stubn. Highlights included sausage, meatloaf, pretzel, potato salad, and absolutely massive beers. My gosh I felt so full after. Quick note about the sausage––the dish came with two sausages, one was really tasty and the other truly tasted exactly like a Yankee Stadium hot dog. I left that one on my plate.

Day 2: Still very jet lagged. For the first week or so of the trip I wasn’t falling asleep until at least 2 and couldn’t wake up until 10 (very different from my normal 11pm-7am). We found a local gym in Munich––unfortunately we paid 20 euros each for the gym and right after we paid a kind man came up to us and let us know about a gym with a free trial right down the street. I had a VERY weird experience in the sauna at this 20 euro gym. After my work out, I hopped in the sauna to sit and attempt some planks. A *completely* naked middle aged German lady started SCREAMING at me (I know I tend to exaggerate a lot but really this time I am not exaggerating, she was screaming) saying that I was not allowed to be in the sauna unless I was naked. What???? Big language barrier here, but she knew enough English to convey that I had to be nude if I wanted to stay. Anyway, she proceeded to tell me that if I had a towel it would be okay so I went to the front desk and asked for a towel, came back to the sauna to sit on the towel and she then yelled at me again and escorted me out. Never got my planks in that day. Anyway, post work out we had a great lunch at Hofbrauhaus Beer Hall. Delicious Spatzle and a cheese and meat platter (#5). I also found a beer that I LOVED called a Radler that I really wish was more prevalent in the states. I’ve really converted into a beer drinking person this summer, and finding a beer that tastes mostly like lemonade and not at all like beer was instrumental in moving this along. This beer hall felt very touristy but there seemed to be a ton of locals there so we couldn’t quite figure out how touristy it actually was. There was live music (on a Monday at 2pm) and a woman carrying a pretzel box selling pretzels. Yankee Stadium or Beer Hall in Germany am I right? We then did a ton of exploring by foot––Victual’s Farmers Market, the Jewish Quarter, the Munich Residenz, and finally rented Lime Scooters to head to the English Garden. Loved the English Garden! Super beautiful and serene. There was a really heavy current in the stream and people were surfing!  I’ve said this 8 million times before but scooters really change the transit game and I wish that NYC was more scooter-compatible. We then walked to Marienplatz Square and went up the tower for city views. After this we were exhausted and went home to read. I finally finished Educated! We then went to an Italian restaurant for dinner which we found *ironic*.

Day 3: We took the kind stranger’s advice and found the gym with the free trial. Although I forgot the conversion of Kilometers to Miles so I accidentally ran a VERY slow 3 miles on a treadmill. I remember thinking “wow, this feels so easy I have so much energy today!” Nope Mara you were really just running at 6 MPH pace and so it actually was easy. We found a funky lunch spot called Marais which doubled as an antique store, and then took public transit to Dachau Concentration Camp. Public transit in Munich is so weird! First, no one checks your ticket––it’s total honor code. Apparently they occasionally check tickets and if you’re caught without one it’s a big fine, but 9 times out of 10 no one is checking. We did buy a day pass and I kinda wish we instead beat the system and didn’t pay haha! The second wild thing is that trains SPLIT in half and go in different directions, so you have to pay super close attention to which car you get on. So an 8 car train will go together for the first 5 stops, and then at stop 6 it will physically split in half and the first 4 cars go one direction and the other 4 go another! I feel like I never have a good sense of which car I’m on in a train so this sounds stressful. And while I’m naming funny Munich transit things––this one might be the most bizarre. Absolutely NO ONE in Munich crosses the street until it says ‘walk’, even when there are literally no cars coming in any direction. We were the ONLY people to cross the street, even after carefully checking that it was clear in all directions. They don’t even think to LOOK to see if it’s safe, they just sit there and passively wait. Am I really that much of a rushed and brainwashed New Yorker or is this totally bizarre? I really think it’s the latter! Moving on, Dachau Concentration Camp was really powerful and definitely worth the trip. I liked how it offered both a museum and preserved + reproduced areas of the concentration camp. We thought it was powerful how Dachau managed to simultaneously portray the Holocaust as part of our. history while still providing emotional, personal, and humanizing stories.  After this, we headed back for a final round of German beer and then dinner in Marienplatz Square. On our last morning it down-poured, see below (c), so we fit in a quick work out at the free gym and headed to the train station.

Overall: Munich was a series of oversized beers, lots of walking and exploring, and really good but filling food. We liked Munich a lot, but we both actually rated is as our least favorite stop on the trip if we had to rank. It’s a very modern city, which at least to me makes it feel less exciting, and almost as if I could be anywhere?

Third Stop: Prague, Czech Republic

Day 1: We took a 6 hour train from Munich to Prague and had an entire cabin to ourselves! The train split in half mid way through the ride, so we were grateful to have been in the right car! It was a long trip, but overall painless. We were able to walk directly from the train station to our hotel. Quick shout out to train travel, isn’t it awesome? You don’t have to show up early, you don’t have to check luggage, train stations tend to be more centrally located than airports so it’s an easy trek to your final destination (Hotel Innside Prague in this case), and you don’t have to worry that you’ll die in a plane crash! Shout out to all my anxious flyers. Anyone? Anyway, we started the night at Lokal Beer Hall for beer (shocker) and Bread and Potato Dumplings with Goulash sauce. This is a local food that truly looks like poop but tasted so good! We then went to Kolkovna restaurant for more traditional Czech cuisine––Smazeny Syr (fried cheese balls, yum) and more goulash sauce and meat.

Day 2: Our hotel had a gym which I’m going to rename as a “fitness room” as it consisted of one treadmill and one semi working elliptical. But hey it got the job done. I’m sad to say that neither Munich nor Prague had nice river paths to run on (this was a major perk of our Portugal trip a few years ago, both Porto and Lisbon have beautiful running paths on the water). This hotel had a very nice buffet breakfast (see footnote on breakfast struggles below) so we made sure to get there in time. Read: one minute before it closed. We started the day with a walk to Old Town and a trip to the top of the Astronomical Clock Tower for city views. We were the only people in our group to opt for the stairs/ramp to the top…everyone else took the elevator. Isn’t half the fun of getting to the top the hard work you put in making the trek? Or maybe I really do like stairs more than I give myself credit for! Next stop was the Prague Sex Machines Museum, which was unexpectedly really interesting? Think rooms full of preserved ancient sex toys and machines. We then walked to the Jewish Quarter, saw a few Synagogues and got Trdelnik (bread with cinnamon). We then walked to the Vltava River all the way up to the Zofin Gardens where we rented a paddle boat. Sounds fun right? What was even MORE fun was when we found a “drive through” bar where we got beers for the “road.” This was a fun activity and we got a great feel for both sides of the river. After that we went to Wenceslas Square and stopped at the Vytopna Railway Restaurant: think train tracks at every table and the train delivers your drink! I feel like if we opened up one of these in NYC it would be a hit. Anyone want to be my business partner on this? Next stop was IcePub Prague (an ice bar, where everything even the glasses and chairs are made fully of ice). It was FRIGID. We were only allotted 20 minutes and I lasted just 15 of them. Last stop was dinner at Noi Thai Restaurant across the river. We walked along the Charles Bridge to get there which was really lovely and is one of the most beautiful bridges in Europe! We hit 29,500 steps this day according to my FitBit and then I *cried* when it hit midnight and I realized we were so close to 30k but just. not. quite.

Day 3: Morning started in the same way––buffet breakfast in the hotel. This has been the summer of only dairy/carbs so I really had to capitalize on the fresh fruit at the buffet. Today was also LAUNDRY DAY. Yes, the less glamorous parts of an 18 day trip, especially when you like to work out so have a bag of sweaty gym clothes to lug around.  The laundry was so damn expensive, it cost us $70 to do a day of drop off. Even in NYC this would be like $20 so I’m confused because Prague is otherwise SO CHEAP. Like so cheap-–two beers, an appetizer, and two entrees and we’d walk away with a $30 bill. Uh can I keep my job at Schoology and work remotely from Prague and pocket all the extra cash? Yes please! After dropping off our laundry we went to the John Lennon Wall––we liked this but it felt more like “here’s this thing in Prague you have to see to check off your list.” We then walked to Petrin Hill which ended up being a VERY STEEP HIKE that we did not expect but ended up going through with. I was very sweaty.  We finally got to the top and went up a very high tower for extraordinary views. The wind was shaking the top of the tower and I definitely spent a few minutes worrying for my life. I think I’ve become more risk averse with age and I’m not sure how to process the shift. The bathrooms at the top of Petrin Hill were 2 euros each so I decided to hold in my pee because #principles. see footnote (d). We then went to the Church of St. Nicholas which was really beautiful, and then the Castle District. We mostly just walked around here, decided not to pay the steep price to go inside. Next stop was Letna Park for the Letna Beer Garden. This was our first 30,000 step day (wahoo) so we very much needed the beer and Smazeny Syr (cheese balls). Dinner that night was at Cafe Mistral––Eric loved his burger if you’d like a recommendation. We then stumbled upon a jazz concert in the old town square, stayed for a bit and then headed back to the hotel to play Cribbage!

Overall: We loved Prague! Prague is a city that I wished I’d visited back in the day when I studied abroad, so I was super excited to check it out. It has the old European feel, and there’s a ton to do AND yummy food.

Fourth Stop: Vienna, Austria 

Day 1: We took an easy four hour train to Vienna and checked into our hotel (Hotel Capricorno) by 5pm. There was champagne and a fruit platter (grapes!) waiting in our hotel room! We started with a walk to the Hundertwasser House and accompanying street––basically funky artwork and paintings on a pedestrian only street. The building is an actual apartment building and it was the first in Vienna to allow residents to decorate the outside of their windows. And THEN!!!! I found my NAME on a souvenir license plate at a souvenir shop. Why am I so excited, you might ask? This is a huge deal. I have spent almost three decades stopping at every single name-souvenir shop to check if they had Mara. They have NEVER HAD MARA. My name does not exist in any of the name banks. Anywhere! But it existed HERE!! I only bought one and I’m now regretting that choice and wishing I bought a few more to go around! After my excitement died down and I could breathe again, we walked to Prater Park and went up the massive Ferris wheel for city views. We then found some apple strudel (a staple in Vienna) for some pre dinner dessert, and then walked almost two miles to Said the Butcher to the Cow––a great restaurant that specializes in burgers and gin!

Day 2: Today I found the only spin studio (Super Cycle) in Vienna and I went to a class! This was really cool. First of all, I love spin and was having some withdrawal, and it was so cool to see a spin class in another country! It was rhythm based, similar to a studio I frequent in NYC (Ryde). And interestingly enough, even though almost everyone there was Austrian, the class was in English? We then went to tour the Vienna Opera House which we loved! A fun fact from our tour is that the emperor who initially commissioned the opera house actually hated it so he’d sit in the intermission room during shows instead of watching. A lot of the opera house was destroyed in WWII (which is true of a lot of Vienna), so a lot has been rebuilt. We then rented Lime Scooters to head to the Vienna Zoo which is situated in Schonbrunn Park by the castle. Favorite animal by far: elephants! They are just mesmerizing, I think we could have just stared at them for a full hour. We also watched a cheetah chase his/her lunch which was cool because I don’t think I’d ever before seen a cheetah run in real life. After the zoo, we took a steep walk to the castle and then Uber’d home. This is day #3 in a row of 30k steps so my legs were GIVING OUT. At night we went to a Mozart and Strauss Concert at the Kurlason Theatre. We had no idea what to expect but it was phenomenal––a mix of orchestra, dancing, and opera. It was really impressive, a lovely venue, and just overall fun because this is not something we’d normally do back at home. After the opera we just really wanted pizza so we found a pizza shop and chowed down. We then came home and played (maybe 6) games of Rummy. Our hotel had a set and we really took advantage. I beat Eric in all 6 games and thought I was the better player but STAY TUNED for later evidence that we are in fact evenly matched 😞

Day 3: FINALLY, a running path by the river! Very nice path by the Vienna River, we ran 4 miles and I was thrilled. There was a ton of cool wall art and murals surrounding the path. We then walked to NaschMarkt (massive permanent market with way too many lunch options to choose from!). We then went outside of Vienna proper to the Vienna Woods for some hiking! Eric found the hike online and I was pessimistic because sometimes it’s really hard (even in the states) to successfully find the start of a hike and I didn’t want to get lost. But this ended up being a major success. It was roughly a 5 mile hike, and instead of hiking to the top for a great view, the entire hike was filled with small outlooks and scenic areas. Every half mile or so we stumbled upon something beautiful and stopped to take in the scenery. Enter: 30k step day number four!!! We then took the scariest Uber ride home of my entire life, this driver was out of his damn mind, swerving like a maniac. I wrote a complaint to Uber and they refunded the entire trip which was good of them but really this man needs to be off the road. For dinner that night we went to Frattelli’s Italian Restaurant followed by gelato…and then played more Rummy.  On our last morning it rained (duh, see point (c) below), and Eric tried to check out the Spanish Horse Riding School but the line was too long so we couldn’t get in. We then picked up our rental car for the last two legs of our trip and my gosh it was so expensive. The fee for returning a car in another country is EXORBITANT.

Overall: We liked Vienna a lot. We made amazing food choices on this entire trip and truly didn’t have a single meal that we didn’t like. We really enjoyed our activities in Vienna, they felt unique and really added to the overall variance of our trip.

Fifth Stop: Ljubljana, Slovenia

Day 1: Before I get to Ljubljana, quick note about how we got pulled over at the Austrian-Slovenian border by border control! We were randomly chosen, we didn’t actually do anything wrong, but two border control officers started running and waving their hands for us to pull over. They made us open our trunk and checked our luggage, scanned our rental car agreement and took our passports to some back room. I was relieved when they said we were free to go. Anyway, separate from that minor hiccup, Ljubljana is absolutely amazing. Truth be told, I don’t even think I’d heard of Ljubljana before starting to plan this trip. A few people told us it was a hidden gem in Europe and if possible we should really include it in our itinerary, and they were really right! I LOVED this place. Just everything about it, the culture, the aesthetics, the food, the ADORABLE pedestrian only village. It felt magical. On our first night, we rented bikes from our hotel (Adora Hotel) and biked to Tivoli Park. We then walked into the village and bar hopped for the night. The village is so cute, there are lots of adorable bridges and every restaurant has outdoor seating by the water. At our first stop we got two beers for a total of 4 euros (yay for inexpensive European beer), then we went to Dvorni Bar for a beautiful looking Meat and Cheese Platter (#6) and then to Slovenska Hisa for cocktails served in Smucker’s Jam Jars and ANOTHER meat and cheese platter (#7). My cocktail had vodka and apple juice in it––this might not mean much to you but if you knew how much I loved apple juice it would! My mother gave me apple juice every morning as a kid and it’s her biggest parenting regret because her now adult-aged daughter is still borderline addicted to apple juice.

Day 2: We started the day with a four mile run around the Ljubljana River. Very nice path but very crowded so by the end of our run there was some weaving through people required. We then drove to Smarna Gora (the highest hill in Ljubljana) for a hike. We followed some sketchy Google Maps directions to the bottom of the mountain but it ALL WORKED OUT and it was beautiful! Very steep, passed a lot of cows, and made it to the top very sweaty. The top was really gorgeous––we got some ice cream truck quality ice cream and sat on a bench to cool down. The hike back down was so steep that I almost had to run to give into gravity. We then drove to Bled Lake. We parked in a grocery store parking lot and stopped to buy some snacks (grapes and beer, lol). Aren’t foreign grocery stores fun? We walked about half the perimeter of the lake (it was a range of paths, docks, and swim areas), and then picked a spot to drink our beers and read. At night we went back into Ljubljana’s Village and bought a love lock for the bridge. Right after I put the lock on the bridge (pictured below) I stood up too quickly and absolutely SMASHED my head on the bridge overhang. Hey if you don’t know me I’m a struggling hypochondriac and I DID think I was going to die in a similar fashion to Natasha Richardson (who had no symptoms at first just like me) and I also made Eric wake me up in the middle of the night to make sure I was still alive. (I was). After I decided I was well enough to move again, we had a DELICIOUS dinner at Pop’s Place. I don’t even like burgers and it was the best burger I’ve ever had.

Day 3: Eric and I split up on this day––he wanted to tour the castle and I wanted to check out the craft market in town. We hardly bought any souvenirs on our trip. The craft market in Ljubljana was the only time I bought anything (a few small trinkets and a pair of $10 pants that I’ve now worn for the last three days straight). Oh AND, and this is important, I found a toy store in Ljubljana and bought us a set of Rummy. We were so addicted after playing so many rounds in Vienna that we absolutely needed it for our last stop. We then got really yummy tuna sandwiches (love tuna) and it obviously started to rain right as we were heading to our car to go to Italy. (See (c) below).

Overall: Just going to reiterate how amazing of a city (and country) this is. We had such a nice time and it was the perfect addition to our trip. I would definitely go back and spend more time here.

Sixth Stop: Countryside Retreat near Verona, Italy

Day 1: What a perfect last stop to our trip (Tenuta La Cave). I can’t even explain. A beautiful retreat nestled in the mountains of wine country Italy. It was so gorgeous and just a perfect place to relax and rewind after an adventurous two weeks in Europe. I love Italy so much (ask Eric how many times I’ve said this over the last few days lol he will roll his eyes). Beautiful views, well manicured and simple property, and so high up that you have a view of multiple cities below. We ordered a bottle of champagne and played a few rounds of Rummy before having dinner at the hotel outdoor restaurant. We discovered the best dessert ever (crostini? Basically ricotta cheese with peach and ice cream in a thin crust?) that we proceeded to have all three nights in a row. 

Day 2: Swam some laps in the pool, played a lot of rummy, read a ton of my book, had lots of yummy Italian food (meat and cheese platter #8 for lunch), what more can you ask for? I also splurged on a massage at the hotel Spa. I got a “Californian Massage” which I assumed (based on the description) was similar to a Swedish Massage which is what I normally get back home. It was similar except that you had to be completely naked, like totally naked with a stranger which felt very weird to me.

Day 3: Similar to yesterday, soaked in the views, read by the pool, lots of Rummy, lots of champagne, lots of pasta, (meat and cheese #9). We then went into Verona (the nearest city) for the evening. We walked around and found the most incredible homemade tortellini shop, truly the best tortellini we’ve ever had in our lives. We took it to go and ate on a bench by the river. It was so good that we went back to get more, but it was CLOSED!!! Isn’t that the worst feeling? We were mentally committed to getting more tortellini and it was CLOSED!! Anyway, if you are ever in Verona go to Trattoria Della Gina and order tortellini! We then came back to our hotel and had champagne and the Crostini desert under the gazebo for our last night. And then played rummy (duh). Eric beat me 5 times in a row so circling back to my earlier point, I lost my rummy-ego and I now believe him that we are *similarly* matched.

Footnotes

(a) On our 18 day trip, I fit in 15 workouts. Some were short, only 20 minutes or so, but some form of exercise on 15 of the 18 days. I love staying active––it’s part of my routine, it makes me happy, and is really a form of therapy for me. I love maintaining this part of my life on vacation––I like feeling active. It gives me both physical and mental energy to carry with me throughout the day. Reflecting on this, I realized that in the past I might have felt embarrassed, and not gone out of my way to admit that I worked out all but 3 days on an 18 day trip. "It’s vacation!" "Why aren’t you relaxing?” “You’re the only person to actually use the hotel gym!” "You’re crazy!” I’ve been told all of these things. Previously I might have believed them and kept my workout habits to myself. As I reflect on this, I’d like to boldly reject all of that. I am proud as hell to have the discipline and motivation to stay active on a 2+ week trip to Europe. I am grateful that I truly like exercise, and I will continue to prioritize this when I travel.

(b) Our last Europe trip together was in 2017 to Portugal and Greece. This time around, with two more working years under our belt, Eric and I decided we could afford a “nicer” trip. Not to say our last trip wasn’t nice, it was wonderful, but our hotel budget was less than $100/night and we stayed at primarily upscale hostels and b&b's. This year we agreed to treat ourselves by upping our budget and letting ourselves splurge a bit on “real" hotels. A few takeaways from this. 1) It’s great to stay in a nice place, but we realized that we value it MUCH more when staying in a remote area (read: Lake Como + Italian Countryside), rather than in a city. Realistically, the purpose of your hotel in a major city is to sleep, and so it felt less important to be in a nice place, as we were mostly out and about anyway. So note to self, splurge more in remote areas, less in big cities. 2) The most important thing is a central location. I have to say, and Eric would attest, we did an AMAZING job finding centrally located hotels for this trip. Every single one of our hotels was in the absolute prime location, and it really made the trip wonderful. All this to say, when in a city, central location is the first most important thing, then comes how nice the hotel is. 3) When planning a trip, I find I’m always enticed by breakfast being included in the rate. Yet every time, I regret this decision. Here’s why: When breakfast is included, I feel an obligation to eat it––we’ve paid for it haven’t we? It feels financially irresponsible to skip the free breakfast and eat elsewhere. BUT a) the breakfast always ends so early that we have to force ourselves up (especially when you account for jet lag) b) we’re usually not even hungry that early c) as someone who likes exercising on vacation, this means I have to not only wake up in time for breakfast but wake up in time for a work out AND be back in time for breakfast. Not happening. d) Eric and I are foodies. Half the reason we travel is to explore new cuisines and try the local food. If we have the hotel breakfast, then we aren’t really hungry for a full lunch, and then we miss out on local cuisine! ALL THIS TO SAY––note to self, stop caring about the free breakfast when booking hotels in the future. That said, not to toot my own horn but I really plan great trips, I believe I am the perfect amount detail oriented to make strong itineraries and I’m considering opening up a side business called “Mara’s Maps” where I sell my itineraries. Do you think this could work? If you have a better name idea please let me know!

(c) We really lucked out with weather on this trip. Oddly enough, it rained on EVERY single travel day of our trip, but never on a full day at any of our stops. Truly, it rained when we traveled from Lake Como to Munich, Munich to Prague, Prague to Vienna, Vienna to Ljubljana, and Ljubljana to Italy. Is this travel fate or what? Separately, we also are so grateful that nothing went actually wrong on this trip. In addition to the weather, every flight and train was more or less on time, our hotels were all great, no major hiccups, overall a very smooth trip (which to be honest, with 6 stops is a pretty impressive win!).

(d) It really is bonkers to me that you have to pay to use the bathroom and pay for water in most European countries. In some ways, Europe feels very progressive compared to the US (think gun laws + health care), but this just feels so backwards to me. Shouldn’t water and bathroom usage be viewed as basic rights? For them to cost money is outlandish to me. Also, just something I noticed, I didn’t spot a single gender neutral bathroom ANYWHERE. Completely unrelated and on a positive note, European bike paths feel much safer than US bike paths (or maybe I shouldn’t generalize and I’ll just say NYC bike paths). There is a separate side walk area just for bikes that’s further removed from the cars so it really feels safer.

This trip was really something special. We are so acutely aware of how lucky we are to have been able to travel like this. We both have salaried jobs with flexible PTO where we don’t have to worry about missing a pay check to travel and I’m just so grateful that this type of vacation was possible. Reflecting over dessert on our last night, we talked about a few of the reasons this trip was really great. First, it was really varied. We had a great mix of cities and activities, so it didn’t feel like a lot of the same thing. This was partially due to the nature of the different cities but also due to strong planning and building diverse itineraries. Eric and I don’t plan our days in advance, we put together a document of bullet pointed recommendations for each city, and each night we talk through our plan for the following day. We love this because it means we’ve done all the heavy research in advance so don’t have to worry about finding a Wifi connection to look something up, but it also leaves room for unexpected or spontaneous ideas and recommendations. Another thing that made this trip great is we found a really great balance of relaxing and ‘go go go’. 18 crazy packed days would have been too much, I don’t have that kind of energy. We never set alarms, we let ourselves have leisurely mornings, and we planned days that had a good mix of activities. This made it so that even after 18 days of travel, we don’t feel burnt out or exhausted. This blog is mostly for my own documentation so I can look back on this trip, and because it makes it easier to give friends recommendations in the future, but if you’ve chosen to read and have made it this far I hope you enjoyed!

[some-thoughts-and-crosses]

And so it continues...

Random things I have discovered

Italian bedding comes in 2 sizes…single, and not single. Conveniently, Italian beds also come in these 2 sizes.

At Trastevere train station, there are always 2 military types dressed in camo and carrying assault rifles. You don’t want to have an invalid ticket…

Somewhat sadly for me, breakfast / brunch is not really an Italian thing. Breakfast tends to be no more elaborate than a pastry and coffee, to make room for more substantial lunches. I was looking for breakfast spots and came across this descriptor: Italians may not be big breakfast eaters, but that doesn't mean they don't take breakfast seriously. Having a cappuccino or a caffè is essential for Italians in the morning. Without it, they just don't function. To get their caffeine fix in the morning and throughout the day for that matter, many Italians go to a neighborhood bar or a café. Along with their coffee, they'll order a delicious pastry called a cornetto (similar to a croissant - but don't ever call it one!) that typically vary from semplice (plain), integrale (whole wheat with honey inside), cioccolato (chocolate or nutella), crema (cream) and marmellata (jelly). Italians might also order a ciambella (doughnut), ciambellone (a slice of poundcake) or even a macedonia* (fruit cup).

*fruit = frutta in Italian, so I’m not sure what Macedonians have to do with fruit salad…

Random shoes on a tram

Out and about

This is “The Typewriter” or “Wedding Cake”, and not meant as a compliment. Apparently it was built over some historical site, and so attitudes are mixed.

On Saturday I went to a Meetup Walking Tour, which was postponed because there were only 2 of us. It was free so I couldn’t really complain, and I didn’t mind because the guide was an ass. So I went to the nearby Caracalla ruins – ancient Roman baths. The venue is also used to stage operas and concerts, but I just checked out the ruins. They were the primary means for ancient romans to bathe and socialise at the same time, and was interestingly not limited to particular classes. The scale of this place was impressive! I think the Romans peaked early.

On Sunday I visited the countryside village of Sabina (Sabrina’s home town), an hour’s train ride away and out of Rome’s city. Sabina is famous for its olive oil, and looking out at the hilly vista I was reminded of the quiet village Al Pacino’s Godfather character went to die (spoiler!). Anyway, we went to friends of friends for Sunday lunch, which stretched over several courses (antipasti, pasta, dolce, coffee) and several hours, winding down around 17:30. With that kind of session, you can understand why breakfast, and even supper, are afterthoughts. In general though and with the sun setting so late, I have to remind myself to eat at a reasonable hour, or end up having supper way too late for my digestion’s liking.

Our standard of living in SA is very high. In SA we pay more for cars, electronics, toys and many other items. And we are willing to pay them. We are a consumer nation, and are susceptible to having the newest and best. Here, though the newest is cheaper, people tend not to bother (both at WFP and Rome in general). As an example, the cell shops are still selling iPhone 5s as standard. No one would queue for the latest edition of gadget. People drive serviceable hatchbacks that you can tell have seen a lot of miles. Seeing a fancy car is noteworthy. Whenever I’ve noticed women’s wedding rings, they look more like costume jewellery, often without a diamond in sight. I don’t see anything wrong with buying stuff that gives you pleasure, and I do it often enough myself. But I do like that success doesn’t need to look a particular way.

Restaurants

I’ve been quite enjoying the canteen’s offerings, apart from the odd miss. Man they love their brinjal (melanzane) here. In the outside world I have had some really good pasta and some mediocre. I asked after some of our local favourites and discovered:

·         Gemelli means twins (Gemini)

·         Casalinga means housewife

·         Spiga d’oro is golden wheat germ…

·         Col Cacchio is literally with cheese (but this refers to pecorino which isn’t             used on pizza), so more likely is closer to “Yeah right”, or as a bit of an                 expletive!

Speaking of Italian…

As with French (and Spanish, I’m guessing), stuff has genders too – not just people. And the words you use differ depending on the gender of the person you’re addressing / speaking of. So it’s bravo for a male and brava for a female. Who is the person that one day decided the gender of inanimate objects?!

The letter ‘c’ presents further difficulties. When paired with an ‘h’, it takes on a hard, more ‘k’ sound – like with macchiato. Otherwise it has a more ‘ch’ tone – like cello. It always makes me smile when an Italian colleague says “etchetera”. Until I remember how I am saying all my C’s wrong! Circo Massimo = “chirco” Massimo. But Colloseum, somehow isn’t “Cholloseum”. And cappuccino has both hard and soft c’s, even though the hard c isn’t paired with and h! Finally, “sc” gives a softer “sh” sound. Sometimes.

I feel like a real language underachiever…it’s not unusual for my colleagues to speak multiple languages, and here I am proud I can now count to ten in Italian.

Summertime

Friends, it is hot. I thought being South African and brown offered me special dispensation from the overwhelming heat, but how wrong I was! Not much of a sweater, I’m sweating. It’s a proper heatwave - temps of 40° today. The breeze blows hot air!

Everyone pretty much goes on summer holidays by August. It is already significantly quieter, and I can expect local shops to also close doors soon. The 15th is a public holiday and I have opted to take the 14th (Monday) off and go to Barcelona. My first Spanish experience!

 In conclusion

I continue to miss everyone, sometimes to the point I have to quickly distract myself or fall into a malaise! Monday the 7th is Raksha Bhandan, one of my favourites, and had I been in Jhb it would have been a festive day. No matter where I am, my family and friends go with me. I mean, seriously…even the toothpaste conspires to remind me!  

Disclaimer: “The information posted on this blog reflects my personal views and opinions and does not necessarily represent those of my employer.”

[victakestaipei]

WEEK 4 RECAP: “Power, Chase Bank Complaints, and TYPHOON SEASON”

As I stated in my previous posts, I’m really really really sorry for the delay here on my WEEK 4 RECAP. Granted, my weeks have started to become pretty routine; But I still like to keep my word with you guys and blog every weekend, despite the topic being my humdrum weekdays.

Anyway, let’s get to it:

Monday: 

My monday was one for the books, honestly. I stayed in bed all day long blogging and doing homework and just being a bum. It felt awesome. We got in from the Philippines early this morning, and I didn’t actually get in the bed until about 4am, so I took the liberty of playing hooky, and NO RAGRETS! 

I only left the house to get breakfast with Bunny... We went to this breakfast joint by our house and I splurged on an egg scallion pancake, a breakfast sandwich, orange juice, and a hash brown patty. It was bomb, but who am I kidding, it’s always bomb. I didn’t end up doing my homework until later in the evening, which ended up backfiring because I had SO MUCH HOMEWORK TO CATCH UP ON. It was actually pretty insane, but I still got it all done. For dinner Bunny and I picked up some potstickers from the place right outside our dorms that you all have already heard SO much about because we literally go there multiple times a week. Like I said in my intro... HUM. DRUM. 

Tuesday:

Today we went to the bakery before class, I had my daily tea, and barely survived the 3 hour period. After class we went to the gym, and I did leg day today. My legs were shaking so much, it was like they had turned to jelly over the weekend. I think this is due to the fact I took 4 days off🙄 but I managed to get my mile down to 8:30 today!!! Y’ALL!!! BASK IN THE GLORY!!! Progress!!! Slowly but surely!!!  

After the gym we went to a restaurant on the Shi Da market for lunch, and ordered fried chicken curry with rice and veggies. It was super good, and only 100 NT! (About $3.35 US).  

Afterwards, we went home and I took the longest shower ever, and then a nap (I really really needed it). I got up just to do homework, and then crawled back into the bed. I found a website that lets me watch Power online so that I can FINALLY catch up to the new season. BLESS UP!!! I started watching this show over the summer, but then I got caught up with other stuff so I never caught all the way up. I last left off on Season 2 Episode 7, but I heard the new season 4 is BATSHIT CRAZY so I need to catch up PRONTO. (Also, can I just take a minute and say I freakin’ hate Angela??? Ugh. Tasha is a ride or DIE and Angela comes waltzing in and I’m just mad as hell. Ghost is such a punkass. I literally cannot deal. Let me shut up while I’m ahead before ya’ll comment and spoil something for me.)

...He still fine as hell though... :-’)

For dinner we went to the Gong guan night market to get Gua Bao (remember those pork hamburger things from my “WEEK 2 RECAP” post? “Gua Bao? Gua BOMB!”) and egg scallion pancakes. We didn't leave the house until after 11pm, so alot of our options were closed at that point. 

Wednesday: 

I actually got up on time to head to the bus, and I was WELL RESTED!! Wow, such a rare occurance. In class I got a 95% on my dialogue quiz today. I’m getting used to pulling these A’s, but our lessons have gotten significantly harder so I find myself reviewing the characters twice as much as usual. Ew.

At the gym I did chest/shoulders/abs. I wore the wrong leggings to the gym today... I wore my normal black leggings instead of my work out leggings, so I didn't do cardio because I didn't want to be all sweaty in my normal cloth leggings... I don’t know I'm weird I guess?? But my ass was looking PHAT at the gym since I had normal leggings on hehe

After the gym Bunny and I tried this Italian spot by our school. They have a lunch menu where you can get a dish AND a side for 99 NT!!! (3-4$ US). What a deal!! I ordered pesto penne pasta and pumpkin soup as my side. Pretty plain, but still super yummy!

After lunch I went home to shower and do my homework and relax. Bunny and I got dinner around 9 because we were STARVING more than usual. I guess the soup and pasta didn’t do it for me. We hopped on the bus to head to Gong guan, but we missed our exit so we ended up taking the bus all the way to our school to go to the Shi Da night market there. MIND YOU I LOOK LIKE A CRAZY CAT LADY. I twisted my hair up and put on two bandanas after taking a shower and putting product in... and I had on a long flowy printed dress I got from the Philippines. Needless to say I looked crazy, in my shower flip flops. We got the soy sauce noodles to-go, with green beans, udon, cabbage, broccoli, and tofu. I also got to chat with my mom on skype tonight which was nice, after struggling to get her speakers to work (for like 20min) so she could actually hear me. I stuffed my face while on the phone with her, and she cheekily said “how come whenever I get you on skype you ALWAYS EATIN??” Then proceeds to laugh hysterically and say “you gonna regret it!! It’s gonna go straight to your hips!!!” ......So charming *eyeroll*, gotta love her lol.... 

I went to bed super late because I had the migraine of a lifetime. I think it might have been because I didn’t get a tea this morning... Caffeine headaches will be the death of me.

Thursday: 

I woke up with the same migraine, and was moving slow because I was so tired and my head was banging!! It was like the drummer guy from Whiplash was putting in WERK on my forehead. I was about 10 minutes late to class... I tried to rush because I knew we had a test in class, but I just couldn’t bring myself to get out of the bed on time. Kokoro (the Japanese student in my class) and I rode on the same bus to class, he was late too because he had gone clubbing last night! On a Wednesday??... Turns out, it doesn’t matter what day of the week it is here, it’s lit at the club every night. 

Class was good today. It didn't feel like it dragged as much. But, I was starving the whole time because I didn’t have time to grab some food before strolling into the class. Our teacher referenced the upcoming typhoon today! Meaning, it will be pouring, dumping rain all next week, starting this weekend. There will also be fierce winds. She told us how many people stay home and grocery shop a lot beforehand because transportation and a lot of businesses are closed. For those of you who don’t know, a typhoon is basically a hurricane. I'm not mentally prepared. Our teacher said that typhoon season lasts three months, starting in August. I’m nervous about the food aspect because we don't have a fridge in the dorm so I'm about to be eating perishables all week... canned beans and rice? God, I’m not excited. But maybe class will be cancelled a few days this week? A girl can dream!!!

In the gym it was leg day yet again! My legs weren’t half as shaky as tuesday so that’s good. I ran a 8:45 mile, after almost DYING on the first treadmill I hopped on. I was adjusting the speed and the treadmill skipped and I almost flew the fuck off. My arms were flailing and I let out this loud/awkward noise and everyone was looking at me. I caught my balance and didn't die, but I definitely quietly turned off the machine and moved to another treadmill shortly after. I think that messed up my mojo because while I was running I was constantly paranoid of the same thing happening on the machine next door. 

After the gym the three of us went to Shi Da market. I pulled out cash from the ATM but was pretty bitter about it because I looked at my bank statement and my bank (Chase Bank) charges a $5 FEE WITH EVERY NON-CHASE ATM WITHDRAWAL that I make... THAT ADDS UP?!!! Are u kidding me??! I’M BROKE AS IT IS CHASE, CUT ME SOME SLACK!!! I'm so salted. I hate Chase Bank. They suck ass. Do you know how many WITHDRAWALS I’VE HAD TO MAKE WHILE HERE??? I need a Charles Schwab account because it seems like they’re the only bank not trying to PLAY US.

I tried a new place for lunch where they had these small fried dumplings. I would show a picture but I inhaled it so fast that I didn't get to. So here's a picture of the box...hehe

I also got some more dragonfruit today    V   so so good.

After the gym I came home, showered, and relaxed. I ended up napping around 8 and woke up at like 10:30pm... I did my homework in class so I'm probably just going to eat something small and crawl back into the bed. I got a banana at the Family Mart convenience store and some apple juice and a pack of yan yans. Yan Yans are those pretzel stick things that come with the chocolate dip and they’re super good?? I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. I talked to Karis on the phone, and then Paris shortly after that. It was SO GOOD to see Paris’s face and hear his voice after so long. :-’) I miss you roomie!! I knocked out again after hanging up with him.

Friday: 

This morning I woke up to a power outage on our Gong guan campus. If this is any tell of how the rest of the weekend/next week is going to be with the upcoming typhoon, I am not ready.

I got a 99 on my quiz today... I. AM. HURT. It was so so close I could taste the perfect score!!

Today I brought my umbrella to class because the typhoon starts this afternoon/evening. Class breeezed by because there was only 7 of us today. It was back day at the gym, and it was great! I’m definitely going to be sore. And I did some booty workouts on the floor afterward. After the gym we went to Gong guan market (the one by our house, not the Shi Da one by campus) to get some food and look for a SIM card for Bunny’s phone (so that she can have a local phone number and consistent data). We stopped and got pork buns and mango before heading home. 

When I got home I finally was able to decompress from the long week. I relaxed for a few hours before leaving the house at 10pm to go to the grocery store with Bunny. When we got to the grocery store, it was about an hour or so before closing, and it looked like the apocalypse hit. All the shelves were sweeped, but we got some food to get us through the weekend.... Like wine and rice and potatoes and eggs and snacks. After the grocery store we headed home to relax and shelter away from the upcoming typhoon.

Saturday: 

I made breakfast this morning after finally leaving the bed at 1:30 pm. I made eggs and papas!! - An old fave. (Jaylene I miss you). I also cut up some apples too to eat with peanut butter. It was good, but the papas weren't up to par because I only had two seasonings... Sad day. 

The rest of the day was spent in bed, watching Power and being a couch potato. At 8:30pm our power went out again, but only for a few minutes. It was getting pretty crazy outside at this point. You could hear the wind howling and tree branches swinging and water pushing its way through the cracks in the closed windows of the bathroom/bedroom. 

At 9pm is when I spilled my Pink Moscato on my laptop. HOW COULD SOMETHING SO SWEET BETRAY ME SO HARSHLY?? My computer immediately died after letting out this depressing noise and became completely non-responsive...and so did I. I was on the brink of a meltdown. To keep from succumbing to panic, I put my phone on DND and went to sleep at 9:30pm. I literally knocked the hell out. That’s the best way to avoid problems/conflict right? Take ya ass to sleep.

Sunday:

I woke up by 4:45/5am, and reality set in. I spoke to my mom on the phone, and she helped calm me down and rationalize the situation. I was a mess. I still am a mess. I cannot afford a new computer right now, and I'm nervous about going to get it fixed because I don't want to be taken advantage of, and I wouldn't know the difference either way... I'm clearly foreign. But I have 8 years of memories and information stored on this laptop, so I'm not letting it go without a fight. I called a few places that claim to fix Apple products on Google, but none of them turned up with any real answers. So after 12pm, I ended up going to the Apple Store at Taipei 101. I took a quick shower and brought a bunch of stuff I figured I might need: my laptop, external hard drive, a flannel, umbrella, towels, a hat, and snacks. I've never been outside when there was a typhoon brewing so it's better safe than sorry right? As soon as I walked outside I could tell something was off. There weren't a lot of people bustling about, and there were countless fallen branches and leaves covering the sidewalks and roads.

I hopped on the bus, and then the MRT, to head to Taipei 101, the tallest skyscraper in Taiwan. I had this lingering thought in the back of my mind... let me illustrate... “Is it a good idea to go to the tallest sky scraper in Taiwan when there’s a hurricane with strong winds/ pouring rain just waiting to happen?”... All i could picture is the structure toppling over with all of us inside and causing this huge disaster, similar to something straight out of an Apocalyptic movie like 2012.... Anyway, I arrived just before 1pm, and come to find out, the Apple Store is CLOSED. I’m salty. All the lights are on and the store would otherwise look open, it's just that there's no one inside. It's completely empty. Even all the devices on display are powered on. It was kinda errie... Like those paper towns the military sets up, where it looks like a normal town and everything, just no one lived there...  I looked online (again) and went to their actual website where it says today (and only today) they open at 2pm instead of 11am. So I just waited around the mall for an hour until they opened. I found a bench and an outlet so I was just sitting here chilling....Glad I brought my snacks. ;)

When the time finally came to go back to the Apple Store, that overwhelming feeling came rushing over me again. I ended up crying like a PUNK to the customer service lady. So annoying!!! Ugh. I was a fragile mess. I spoke to two different managers who both spoke perfect English, and they helped to reassure me that they would try their best to help me. I have to come back tomorrow for a walk-in appointment with the Genius Bar. Fingers crossed they can help me, or at least retrieve/save my information. 

I left Taipei 101 feeling pretty defeated, so I got some McDonalds on the way home... I know it sounds silly but I needed comfort food and something that felt like home. I ordered the filet o fish (which I crave daily), with fries and a coke. This was not my best moment, but the whole meal only cost 95 NT!! (Less than $3.20). CRAZY! 

I came home and that’s when I started reading my book that I keep mentioning, “You Are A Badass” By Jen Sincero. It helped me to feel better and get into a better frame of mind. 

I took a break from reading to help Bunny make curry for tonight’s dinner. It was BOMB and came out fairly well if I may say so myself. I’ll definitely be making curry more often when I come back to the States.

I finished reading my book just before calling it a night. SUCH a good read I cannot stress this enough!!! I learned so much from Jen’s words and she adds funny stories/anecdotes and the way she describes things is just so relatable. If you have a chance to read it I definitely recommend!!!

I went to sleep pretty late, I was laying in bed catching up with Jay (via text) and other friends from back home. Before closing my eyes, I decided to practice meditation, which is one of the key concepts in the book. I wasn’t very successful the first time, because it was hard to clear my mind and just be still. I know it takes practice, so I’m going to try to dedicate time every day to meditate for at least 5 minutes! Feel free to join me on this challenge, it’s supposed to reap unprecidented benefits!

Also, please pray that when I take my laptop in tomorrow to the Apple Store they can fix whatever’s wrong!!! I need all the prayers I can get. I’m speaking it into existence now: MY COMPUTER WILL LIVE. IT WILL RISE AGAIN. IT WILL POWER ON.

Until next time,

xoxo

[purplesurveys]

492

How's your day going? Super chill, which is a nice change after the hectic last couple of days. Went to the mall with my family this morning to have lunch, discovered the gift that is spicy tuna salad, bought myself iced coffe and a container of pink slime, and spent the whole afternoon just playing my new favorite app, Bitlife. What shape is your face? It’s square-ish, which I hated so much when I was younger because I thought it made my face look abnormal (cause no one else in school had a square face) and that it gave me such a wide jaw. Nowadays I embrace it precisely for the reason that it’s not a common Filipino feature, and because it gives me a really good jawline. What sort of computer are you on right now? I’m on a Macbook Air. What's your favorite restaurant? I have a lot of favorites depending on the cuisine, but in general Yabu easily takes the cake. Torch is a favorite if I wanna spend on really good sushi. Mama Lou’s is my favorite Italian place; Marugame Udon is my favorite if I wanna have a budget-friendly meal; Mesa is my go-to for Filipino food. What does your umbrella look like? I used to have a pink umbrella with a faint print on it, but as with all things I own, I eventually lost it.

Do you share a room with anyone? My dog. Are you superstitious? Only when it comes to Oble, my university’s symbol. I’ve explained the supersition on an old survey but it’s an easy Google search if anyone’s curious. Do you believe in astrology? NO. Take the vowels out of your name. What does it spell? Rbyn. Do you eat breakfast every day? No. That’s the meal I easily miss out on; I usually just have a big lunch to make up for it. You can go back in time and slap one historical figure in the face. Who? Ferdinand Marcos, former President and dictator and forever a thief and liar. Do you have socks on? Describe them. Nope. I go barefoot in the house. Pick up your cell phone for a second. Who's your first text from? The first text I got *today was from my girlfriend, letting me know she had just woken up. Fourth missed call? My mom. Are you one of those people who has like a hundred apps on their phone? Noooooo. I never let my phone rack up too many apps. Have you ever been to the ballet? I’ve seen ballet recitals before, but I’ve never been a legit production. It’s one of the things on my bucket list. Do you have good reflexes? Yes, all thanks to all my years of table tennis. Do you have many internet friends? I used to have a lot when I was still an active fangirl on Twitter/Tumblr haha. The most fun I had was with the AJPunk fandom; I had a reeeeeally big and close circle of friends from the States and all over Europe. My sleeping schedule was insane at the time because I’d stay up to talk to them and bond over fanfic updates, new AJPunk scenes, and IRL spottings of the two. While we’ve grown apart in the last few years it’ll always remain a really fond memory for me. Do you think those friendships are on level with your real life ones? It used to be. They’d be the first people I’d talk to before the school bus picked me up and the last before I’d turn in for bed. Do you keep a journal? This Tumblr, pretty much. Describe for me your ideal sandwich. Banh mi in general. I don’t really have an ideal recipe. What are some names that you like? Olivia, Mia, Ines, Elizabeth, Scarlett, Isabella, Emma to name a few. Is there something you're putting off doing in favor of this survey? Not really. I kinda did my main task this afternoon, so I’m good for tonight. Are your friends generally like you or different from you? We’re all different in our own ways. Jo and Laurice are very chatty, JM is super closed off, Aya is a great artist, Kate's social skills are top-notch, Luisa is into sports. I’m none of those. Link me to a picture you think is cute. Egh. Do you like blowing bubbles? I loved it as a kid and I’m pretty sure I’ll still like it now.

What's the band that you love even though you know they're awful? That’s not what I think about the bands I listen to. Ever had a pillow fight? Maybe when I was younger. What do you usually pick in truth or dare? Truth. I have no problem being honest about anything. Are you better at posing good questions or coming up with outrageous dares? I’m a journalism student, so the questions. Vinyl, cassette, CD or MP3? I’d pick vinyl, even if I don’t own any or have a record player. But the reason I picked it is that Gab and I drop by Satchmi sometimes and test the record players and they sound amazing. Do you coo over other people's babies? I always would at the first chance. What is something that makes you very squeamish? Blood. Gab has nosebleeds semi-regularly and as much as I love her, that’s the one thing I can barely help her with. Like I’d get her tissues, but I literally would not look at her while it’s happening, because I will absolutely feel like vomiting. Do you try those as-seen-on-TV things? I wouldn’t buy them but if I saw them in real life and was offered the chance to test them, I would. Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? Chyna. She died on my birthday and I cried for a while when I read the news. Do you get the dressing on the salad or on the side? All over the salad. Do you make lists, or are you more of an unplanned person? I make lists for almost everything. If you're out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you're still in school, do you think you will? Yes. I follow most of them on social media. We’re a close batch, and we’re not letting go of each other that easily. Is there something you like to eat that most people think is gross? SEAFOOD!!! As someone who’s from an archipelago and whose entire culture is defined by seafood, I almost get hurt whenever I see people viewing fish or shrimp or oysters or mussels as ‘disgusting’ looooool cause it’s like why tho :// I respect tastes but don’t call it disgusting??? Do you have a lot of photographs of your friends? I have quite a bit, yes. Do you dye your hair regularly? I’ve never dyed my hair. Do you think, if it came down to it, that you'd be able to kill someone? If they did anything to a loved one and if I would be able to get away with it, yes. Are you good at rating things? I’m not sure, I’ve never had to rate a lot of things. What's a movie that you want to see? Midsommar. What was the name of your third grade teacher? Ms. Adette. She was also our math teacher. She was very motherly but the year she taught us was her last year in the school too since her family was moving to Oman. Are you a competitive person? Yeah. I can’t help it. Do you get into a lot of arguments? I try not to because I hate losing thanks to the aforementioned competitiveness. Do you like to go shopping? When my dad is around to buy the stuff, yes. HAHA Can you knit? Nope. I didn’t give a shit in sixth grade home econ. Do you use the same username everywhere online or do you have a lot? Yeah I used to use robyncanrana for everything, but lately I’ve been going with simply my first and last name. What's something that you really like about yourself? I’m a good worker and I never leave anything undone. Can you pass for older than you are? Not at all, I look like I’m 15. Have you ever been in a situation where that was necessary? Yeah, for when I need to get out of driving violation tickets. Do you talk a lot? If I’m comfortable with someone, I can. I’m still a listener at heart though. Are you a Facebook creeper? No, I hate Facebook. What is a smell that you hate? Spoiled rice. If you don't set your alarm clock or anything, when will you wake up? I’d still wake up pretty early. Do you even use an alarm clock, or do you just use your phone? I use the Alarm feature on my phone. Do you watch Maury or Steve Wilkos or anything like that? No. What did you get your best friend for their last birthday? I wasn’t with Gab during her most recent birthday. What did they get you for yours? She wasn’t with me for mine. Are you capable of finishing a game of Monopoly? I’ve never played Monopoly and never really plan to; it looks so boring and complicated. What is a word or phrase that you overuse? “Literally,” “like,” and “at the end of the day.” The last one I got because my internship boss used it for eeeeeevery fuuuucking senteeeeence it was insane. I caught it eventually. What's your favorite painting? Anything Monet. Have you ever written to your congressman? I haven’t. Did you get sent those free AOL discs a lot? Nope. Are you allergic to anything? I am not. What are you going to do now that you're finished with this survey? Check my Twitter timeline.

#survey #surveys

[italianexotiicbeauty]

Cary and jary

otp question meme | @authoritativeprince / @thesamoanspear

[ CARY / pre-break up? yes. ]

Who is the most affectionate? - Mary, holy hell is she ever.

Big spoon/Little spoon? - Big Spoon = Colby. Little spoon = Mary.

Most common argument? Funnily enough?? How LONG she takes to answer HIS TEXTS.

Favorite non-sexual activity? VIDEO GAMES AND PIZZA.

Who is most likely to carry the other? ( Assuming this means in a physical sense... ) Colby definitely likes to carry her around, she enjoys piggyback’s to be honest.

What is their favorite feature of their partner’s? Colby’s favorite feature on Mary is her legs. Mary’s favorite feature on Colby is both his hands and his hair. ( I can’t explain that one, she just really likes how strong his hands feel. )

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?I’d say general behavior around the opposite sex? I know Mary didn’t make any advancements on any male while Colby was “courting” her. I’ll go with the same for Colby, because his A-GAME on her was STRONG AF.  ( ;~; and then it all fell to pieces. )

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate? Colb calls her “Mare Bear”. I’m actually unsure where that even came from, but I approve. :D

Who worries the most? Mary, HAVE YOU SEEN HIS JOB!? Despite how GOOD he is at it, THAT JOB IS FUCKIN’ DANGEROUS AS SHIT.

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? It’s unfortunate that inform you … >_>;; no actual dates have happened enough, because he’s on the road so much and she tends to change her mind frequently. UNLESS IT’S PIZZA. It’s ALWAYS pepperoni and bacon.

Who tops? >_>;; They switch.

Who initiates kisses? Mary

Who reaches for the other’s hand first? Mary.

Who kisses the hardest? Colby.

Who wakes up first? Colby.

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer? Mary.

Who says I love you first? Mary

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?) PROBABLY Mary, if she packed one for him. HAHA! The note? “Kick ass and take names today!”

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first? Colby, Mary was a little hesitant because of his celebrity status and she didn’t want her friends/family thinking she was dating him JUST because he’s famous and has $$. ( BTW; It was never about that for her. )

What do their family/friends think of their relationship? HAHAH. Is it bad I feel like ALL of Colby’s friends gave him the subtle look of “don’t screw this one up”?? Mary’s friends were pretty excited for her, a few were concerned because she didn’t tell anyone right away, due to how she felt about telling them.

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other? Mary.

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking? Mary. COLBY GOT HIS ASS SPOILED AF.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines? Colby.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times? Both.

Who needs more assurance? Colby, I don’t know why.

What would be their theme song? ** This right here. **

Who would sing to their child back to sleep? MARY SINGS KEVIN BACK TO SLEEP!

What do they do when they’re away from each other? Work, what else? And on occasion, Mary admits to missing him ;~;

one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart - THESE TWO HAD SO MUCH POTENTIONAL. Yes they did but then Colby went and did what he *always* does, and now she’s hard pressed to ever believed he actually cared about her at all. Oh, and that love is for fuckin’ suckers.

one headcanon about this OTP that mends it - despite her anger towards him for what he did to her, she still sorta cares. like enough that she did actually go to Iowa and help him out a little after he re-injured his knee.

[ JARY ]

Who is the most affectionate? - Joe! Heehee. Yes he is.

Big spoon/Little spoon? - HAHA. Oh god. Joe is the big spoon, Mary is the little spoon.

Most common argument? - Who has to walk Sparrow and the new puppy.

Favorite non-sexual activity? - HER KICKING HIS ASS AT AC: IV - multiplayer mode.

Who is most likely to carry the other? ( I think this means physically? ) Ha! Joe definitely loves to scoop her up a LOT. 

What is their favorite feature of their partner’s? Mary’s favorite feature on Joe is his hair and his eyes. *___*;; Joe’s favorite feature on Mary is her hands! BECAUSE SHE GIVES A+++ MASSAGES.

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other? - I’d DEFINITELY say the overall want to spend MORE AND MORE time together. Which is why she got tickets to almost every event near/close enough to where she was living before moving to Florida. ( And people would always make note of how much she’d be smiling while working - like smiling out of nowhere cause she’s thinking about him. )

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate? I’m actually not sure if Joe has one for her. I know she refers to him as the “Empire Ruler Of My Heart”.

Who worries the most? Mary. ALL THE TIME. With good reason, his job is dangerous and she’s KNOWN how bad it is ever since those old school commercials about the wwe superstars being professionals, and how bodies were broken, careers ended, and to not try this at home. ( this commercial! ) And it terrifies her, all the time. every single time he steps in that ring, and know who sees the terror the most? Joelle.

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? Joe does!

Who tops? Mary. (*cackles!* She likes being on top. )

Who initiates kisses? Joe.

Who reaches for the other’s hand first? Mary.

Who kisses the hardest? Mary.

Who wakes up first? They both do.

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer? Mary.

Who says I love you first? Aww. Joe did.

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?) Again, if she packed his lunch that note would read: “DON’T LISTEN TO THOSE BOO’S BABY. YOU’RE ALWAYS GONNA BE MY #1!”

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first? I’m pretty sure Mary shouted it with excitement to her older sister, like the first chance she got. They were pretty hush hush about it because of how the fans can be, it’s why she doesn’t follow back people on Twitter or IG a lot.

What do their family/friends think of their relationship? Joe’s family was pretty shocked at first when Mary walked in the door of his parents’ home for the first time after she moved down to Florida. The shock was because of how small she is, but then they saw past that and ended up loving her to bits. HAHAH. Mary’s best friend and her best friend’s husband freaked the EFF out when she brought him to dinner one time in CT. Like her bestie’s man is a HUGE WWE fan and he nearly had a heart attack when THE BIG DOG walked in the door of their house! Mary was cackling all night.

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other? Mary, oh yes.

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking? They both are actually.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines? Joe.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times? Mary, AND IT FLUSTERS HIM SO MUCH.

Who needs more assurance? Joe. Because of how 95% of the wwe universe treats him and it PISSES HER OFF so much.

What would be their theme song? Josh Turner - Your Man.

Who would sing to their child back to sleep? - Mary, and in Italian.

What do they do when they’re away from each other? - Mary is rude af. Poor Joe. Every other day he gets naughty texts JUST so he can reply with a picture of him being flustered. Joe? Dreams about holding her again. ;~;

one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart - how attached Mary is to him, literally she starts crying the night before he has to get on the road again. ;~; she absolutely HATES being away from him so much but … alas. ;~; tis the life they lead.

one headcanon about this OTP that mends it - THEY’RE ENGAGED/OR WILL BE AND THAT JOE WANTS TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY.

#asks #answered #memes #[ooc] #[ read more for length XD ] #[ DA BAES. OUR FIRST SHIPS ;~; ] #thesamoanspear #authoritativeprince #SO WHAT IF YOU CAN SEE THE DARKER SIDE OF ME ( mary&colby ) #MY HEART BEATS LIKE THUNDER FOR NO OTHER ( mary&joe )

[ryik-the-writer]

Marinara on Maine (4 of ?) : Soggy Crust

A03 link

Saturday’s were surprisingly very slow for French Bread’s Pizza Parlor. The business usually got less than ten walk-ins and rarely any calls for delivery after 8:30.

It was because of this usual pace that Belle decided to leave early for a date with Mr. Gold. She had been using his car for deliveries for nearly two weeks, and subsequently unofficially dating him as well. Belle felt embarrassed to call their relationship that in such a way. Since he had lent her his car for the business, they had managed a few rendezvous but nothing longer than a twenty-minute lunch date in his shop.

Worse yet, their physical affection was starved. Other than the fiery kiss they shared on the night of the car explosion and a few quick pecks whist Belle was running off to deliver another order, they hadn’t kissed at all!

She was determined to change that. She was going to Gold’s shop at 7 and take them to a small casual Italian place just outside of Storybrooke. She would bury her phone if she had to so that they wouldn’t get interrupted.

She brought her change of clothes with her to the restaurant and Merlin had promised enthusiastically he’d close up shop.

“Red or blue scarf?” Belle inquired as she finished getting ready.

“Red.” Merlin suggested as he worked on inventory.

“No you will not!” Jefferson exclaimed as he jumped off the counter, snatching the offending cloth from Belle’s hands. “Blue’s the only color for you.” He shot back to Merlin. “Do you want them to break up!?”

Merlin rolled his eyes and closed the refrigerator.

Belle giggled and tied the scarf around her neck. With it she wore a sky-blue blouse with a brown skirt and burgundy tights. She rarely got to dress up and it was one of the few outfits she owned that didn’t have remnants of her work on it. She wanted to look good tonight, wanted to look like she belonged beside Mr. Gold rather than clashed against him. It always embarrassed her during the rare times they got to be in public together where she’d be in her work uniform and him in his well-tailored suit. He never said anything but Belle didn’t want to him to be mocked because his girlfriend had flour on her shirt.

“What time is it?” she asked for the tenth time that hour.

“Not 7 yet.” Merlin laughed. “We won’t let you be late.”

“I know I just…I really want things to go smooth tonight. We’ve been dating two weeks and we’ve hardly spent any time together.”

“You know, you can have more time off it you want.”

Belle sighed. “It’s my family’s business. I can’t leave it in your hands.”

“You work too much!” Jefferson called from the front of house. “I know it, your dad knows it, the whole town knows it!”

“I’m taking the night off, aren’t I?” she called back to him, leaning on one of the ovens to slip on her heels.

“You look great.” Merlin assured. “Why don’t you go ahead and head out? We have one more carryout and then we’re closing up shop for the night.”

“Take an umbrella.” Jefferson said as he finished sweeping the front. “Looks like a storm’s coming in.”

Belle felt worry twist in her gut. While she loved the rain, she hated thunder and lightning with a passion. She hoped it stayed calm until they at least got to the restaurant.

“Okay, see you guys Monday!” she yelled as she grabbed her purse and looked for the keys to Mr. Gold’s Cadillac. Just as she found them, a sleek black car pulled up and a familiar figure stepped from the passenger seat.  

“Gold!” Belle cheered, balancing herself in her heels so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and kiss his cheek.

“Thought I’d meet you halfway.” He winked. “Second date and all.”

She laughed and pecked his lips. “Yes it is.”

“I’ll see you on Monday, Mr. Gold.” The towering driver of the car disclosed, nodding politely at Belle.

“Goodnight Dove.”

The couple watched the tall man duck carefully back into the car and drive off.

“Ready to go?” Mr. Gold inquired as soon as he was gone.

“Oh yeah! Do you want to drive or-”

“Belle!” Merlin called out the door. “Hold tight a second!”

Belle felt a brief wave of panic roll through her. Mr. French and Will were off today, were they okay? Before the thoughts could get more sinister, Jefferson came trotting out with a pizza box, turning sheepishly to Mr. Gold.

“Hey Mr. Gold!” he greeted with a nervous chuckle. “Sorry about the whole attempting to burn you in the car thing two weeks back.”

Mr. Gold smiled humorlessly at his apology. Belle had told him about how Will and Jefferson had been willing to set the former French Bread car alight after they jumped to the conclusion that Belle had killed him. Though he had found it a bit disturbing that the men who handled his food on many occasions were willing to commit cold-blooded murder, he was grateful Belle had such dedicated friends on her side.

“Jeff,” Belle cut back in. “why is there a pizza in your hands?”

Jefferson smiled sheepishly. “Our carryout changed it to a delivery at the last minute.”

“No!” Belle protested. “Not going to happen. I’ve been planning this all week and there is no way I’m wasting anymore time!”

“Belle, it’s okay.” Mr. Gold reassured gently.

“No it’s not!” Belle interjected. “I can’t keep doing this to you. I know you say you don’t mind but eventually you will and then we’re going to have a big mess on our hands!”

Gold clasped her dancing hands. “I made this deal with you Belle. Not just for your business, but so that I could see you every day, even if it’s just for a moment.”

“Yeah but…”

“And what was your affix to the deal? That I would ride along with you one in a while? Looks like today is that day.”

Belle scoffed and pressed a kiss to her lips. “How did I get so lucky?”

Mr. Gold pulled from her lips, dazed. “I’m the lucky one.”

“And I’m confused but oddly turned on.”

Belle and Gold turned back to the forgotten Jefferson.

“What’s the address?” Belle inquired as she took the pizza from him with a glower.

“It’s that guest mansion on Madison Lane, the one that writer from Boston is renting for the summer. I forget his name…”

“Isaac Heller?” Belle gasped.

“Heller.” Gold mused. “Why is that name so familiar?”

“He wrote that fantasy novel Heroes and Villains.” Belle explained as she put the pizza in the insulation bag and buckled it carefully into the back seat. Overhead, a mass of dark clouds were rolling in. Thunder barked distantly and Belle a chill go up her spine.

“Ah!” Mr. Gold nodded as he turned the car and windshield wipers on. “I think Bae read it when it made the Times list. Don’t remember him getting too excited about it however.”

Belle waved a smirking Jefferson off and climbed into the driver’s seat. “There wasn’t much of it to get excited about.” Belle sighed as she adjusted the heat.

Gold faked-scoffed and gave her an appalled glance. “Belle French bad-talking a book?” I never thought I’d see the day!”

Belle laughed and smacked his arm playfully. “It wasn’t necessarily a bad book. It’s just…what started out as a simple plot turned into a void of underdeveloped characters and plot holes that just went on forever.”

“Sounds like an overcomplicated mess.”

“Indeed.”

As soon as he finished his sentence, fat droplets of rain began to pound against the windshield and Belle slowed her driving.

“Don’t get nervous.” Gold warned as the rain increased.

“I’m not, just don’t distract me.” Belle mumbled as she tried to navigate through the sheet was water. She clenched harder on the steering wheel, trying to keep her nervous feet steady.

“Belle, just turn over.” Gold ordered after a moment. “I can’t even tell if we’re still in town.”

“I can see the road.” Belle protested, her heart beating just as loud as the rain. “We’ll be fine.”

“Belle please!” Gold pleaded.

Belle hesitated before easing on brakes and edging onto the side of the road. At least she thought it was the road. One second there was ground under the wheels and the next the Cadillac was flying off the side of the road.

Belle and Gold screamed as they flew down through the air, the only thing keeping them from flipping was the slick, muddy slope that they finally landed on, sliding through the trees until they finally crashed.

Belle?

Belle!

Belle didn’t want to listen to the voice. All she wanted to do was sleep.

Belle please wake up!

Wait, was that Gold? Why did he sound so scared?

She forced herself to come out of the foggy darkness. She felt pain and cold all around her, but finding Gold was more important.

Her vision began to clear and the look of pain and horror on Mr. Gold’s intensified.

“Oh Belle, thank God! Can you hear me sweetheart?”

She tried to nod her head or speak but she only had the strength to blink.

“Okay, don’t move Belle. Just stay still and try to stay awake, I’m going to try and call for help.”

She watched him struggle to get out of the car. The vehicle was nearly on its side and the door slammed in her face as he crawled out of the passenger seat.

Now in her silent aloneness, she could attempt to pull together where she was and what was happening. She was in the car—the car she crashed—and Mr. Gold was struggling to get help for that mistake. From what she could see through the rain-coated window, they were deep in the woods, far away from the town and help they needed.

She wanted to rise from her seat and help Mr. Gold, apologize for yet again inconveniencing him but she couldn’t move.

She literally could not move.

She could blink and even felt her eye twitch but she couldn’t lift her head from the steering wheel or move her arms or legs. She wasn’t in pain or even very uncomfortable. She was just numb.

She could hear Mr. Gold’s frantic voice just behind the car. He was okay and getting help. Knowing this kept her calm.

And helped her fall asleep when the painless cloud of exhaustion flooded her senses once more.

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #Ryik's Fics #ryik-the-rumbeller-oncer #Belle #Rumplestiltskin #marinara on main