#i yearn and crave so much

[puppiitraining]

why do we, as tboys, have jobs?!? like, i'm not built to be out in 6 degree weather building houses. i'm built to be bred and be used smh.

sOOOO TRUUUUEEEEEE

like why am i managing a store i should be leashed for my walkies and having my puppycunt stuffed like what the fuck world

totally totally twisted smfh.

#i agree so so much 😭😭😭 #i have holes that need using i crave to be used and i want to bark like a dog fOR FREE #pls world let me be a PET SMFH #t4t puppy #ftm puppy #ftm pet #》 puppy barks (answer) #ftm sub #t4t pet #t4t nsft #pet/boy #ftmpet #pet/play #t4t yearning #puppyboy #puppy boy #dumb puppy #puppy sub #bd/sm puppy #trans puppy #trans bottom #trans sub

[doodle17]

Okay, lesson learned, DONT watch a documentary for one of your favorite games on your period because it WILL make you cry, oh my God

I need a minute.... son of a bitch man...

#Hhhhnnngghhhh ohhhhh #Oooh the yearning #The YEARNING #Idk what this feeling I get whenever I watch this is but it fills me with so much emotions I just- #Start bawling my eyes out 😭 #“Look guys we managed to get the Raz model working” #*me through violent tears* #“Hell yes you guys did!! Good job!! Good fucking job...” #Ughgjhhhhsgaahagah #I want to be part of something like that.... #Ffffuck mannnnn #Oooooohhhh I crave the cyclenuts #I need the goobers... #Come back... #GHK- COME BAAAAAACKKKKKKK #PLEAAAASEEEE #Oh same goes for the trailers too btw #Ugh I need something to look forward to in my life- #I want to feel hype for somethinggggg #doodles rants #psychonauts #psychonauts 2

[smimon]

Don't talk to me today guys, there is only one thing I can think about and it's that damn hug from Häärijä

#just kidding please talk to me #it's one of those days again omg #i have never learned how to deal with positive experiences so i will just talk about it to get it out of the system so it's a vent post now #vent post #last warning! #i have never realized just how much i crave and yearn for a simple warm welcoming tight hug until after it happened #like what if i tell you the very reason i started writing giant ocs 20 years ago was because i was longing and yearning for a hug #yes there is a long and complicated thought pattern behind that but without a doubt one leads to another #my troubled mind constantly amazes me with its ability to find unnecessarily complicated ways to tell me what i need #and sometimes life just gives you just that sometimes you can just have good things like it's nothing #🤯 #it's been three weeks and i'm still there #häärijä fixed me without even trying #(and with häärijä i mean his real name ofc)

[angry-nightwing]

*twirls hair around fingers* so there's this girl *giggles and blushes*

The girl:

#i want this edition so much!!! #i yearn!! i crave!! #lord of the rings #the fellowship of the ring #the two towers #the return of the king #the hobbit

[silkjade]

it’s 3am so please enjoy my favorite painting in the world while i reflect introspectively in the tags thank u ♡

day and the dawnstar by herbert james draper

#— 𝓭𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓼 #/// #this is meant to be like elevator music for the dash while you scroll past #…………….. #i love selfshipping it's vry fun but sometimes when i think about it too much or rather when i think about any scenario at all #i'm always like i want so and so to do this and this and this but when asked what i'd do for them it's like hitting a blank ) : #and i can’t help but feel as if i’m being…. selfish…. #selfish in the sense that i can so easily accept the love i crave but i don’t know if i'd be able to give the same back? #and this bleeds into my real life becus i suppose i just don't know how to make someone feel loved like... #i’m not even half as affectionate irl as i may seem online & i don’t have a cute or particularly loving personality. #the words i say aren't warm ; ironically they make me sound disingenuous lmao no matter how much i practice my cadence #& idk why it’s so difficult for me to imagine myself doing like.. domestic things for anyone without cringing at the alien nature of it #not becus there's something wrong with that but i just can't see ME doing anything like that and i just think 'what is wrong with me' becus #it's one of the simplest and purest forms of love i think ; \ idk maybe i've just never loved anyone enough like that... #but then i feel so..bad...because the real me is so apathetic boring cold #& not to make things sound transactional but why would someone want to stay if what they invest produces lackluster results ? #like omg ! even i can tell that it's totally unfair i'd feel like a leech #even in the painting above draper the painter says: 'to faint in the light of the sun she loves / to faint in his light and to die' #iz so me yearning 'n then dying from yearning becus i don't know how to express it #like when mitski said '胸がはち切れそうで' 'my chest is about to burst' i felt that #anyways i suppose this was good to get out before chinese new year lolz #i hope u did not make it this far honestly anyways i m going to rb a bunch of random stuff to hide this

[sleepyjas]

can’t wait to live at home with my favourite person!! safe n cozy!! making food in the kitchen and cuddling while watching our favourite shows/movies!!

#guys i’m yearning #i want love so bad but i’m so bad at it #ive never been in love with anyone romantically before and i crave it so much #jas rants

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

just saw a tiktok. listen if you’re gonna compare your characters to laurie jo and amy little women you need to really put on your thinking caps with it you cannot just be saying shit this isn’t a game….

#i can’t tell you what they said because well. it’s redacted #but like. i’m not against you comparing my forever girl to jo but o wish you were doing it in a way that didn’t make her out to be the spare #of a love triangle. that’s not what jo is and that’s not what SHE is #and he’s not even anything like laurie in the first place so why would you even say that at all. #ok he’s a little like laurie he’s an only child #but. he is not like laurie in most of the ways that matter #you’re literally only saying this because your mind has created a link between these characters and little women because of timothee #and it’s lame and you aren’t making any sense!!!!! #if anyone there is laurie it’s MY guy. from tenth grade spirit week #oh but that’s illegal to say because he’s not technically an only child i forgot that’s not allowed in this snowflake ass fandom #if you know what i’m saying you should get a prize probably #but no really MY guy would be laurie. the guy YOU said was laurie would be jo. peace and love on planet earth #because the essential truth of laurie and his dynamic with not just jo but all of them is that he yearns for a family #he wants to have people that are tied to him no matter what. he craves that connection that the march girls all had with each other #he didn’t want to marry one of them as much as he wanted to BE one of them. marriage was just how he did it #like. laurie’s defining characteristic is that he is lonely. and he loves jo because she made him not lonely anymore #and none of that has anything to DO with the three people this tiktok said!!!!!!! #but whatever. again this post is like. encrypted. and if you can decode it literally you win a prize for understanding

[hajihiko]

your art sort of fucks me up sometimes. in the best possible way. i be like i'm sooooo good on my own and outta relationship but then i see YOUUU depict love so tenderly and lose higher cognitive functioning for an hour. what in the lovely magical girl hell is this

HAH oh boy I guess that's karma! I get that too from other people's art 😂

#The cycle of violence. The cycle of yearning and wanting and violence #I dont even think of my shit as extra tender I just OH I guess I draw what I want huh. Yeah. Hmm #Oh well may we one day have exactly the amount of love and tenderness we crave whether from others or ourselves #Not an art #Talky talky Tuesday #19 days makes me want to flirt and yearn so much. Some jojo ships are the epitome of romance to me #And my love playlist is called Oh Fuck; Romance. Which is how I generally feel one way or another lol #I might be on the aro spectrum MAYBE and simultaneously I am full of love baby

[bongsavior]

Tell me how we're ripping ourselves away from each other because we have to for both of our sanities but i'm STILL out here wet as a fucking lake at the thought of you. I'm helpless

#i'm a useless gay #this life is a tease #this life dangles fruit and vegetables and grains and potatoes in front of the hungriest man on the planet and then he dies #maybe the point is that he had a human experience. he lived #he wanted #he endured. he craved and desired and yearned but all he got was the privilege of seeing it all in front of him #whether he could devour it and be sustained for a long time #he still learned the meaning of love and desire #to want and to crave something so badly that you're so sure will make you a happier man #but it's not yours to hold. not yours to taste. #maybe that's all it comes down to. being human #you live. you see. you want. you taste #you experience and then you shed your mortal flesh sack to become something entirely different #anyways my point is #personal #i'm sad #everything in life is changing and i have a lot of optimism but there's so so much fear and sorrow and dispair #so much turmoil and depression and the weeping of my soul #i need to heal. i need to heal. i need to heal #words

[sonoda-oomers]

things have been going objectively shit i'm shadowbanned on tumblr (my only platform, noobie mistake but i am not going back to twitter) and turns out vgen is not the best if you don't got that shiny verification, i'm trying to schedule posts to instagram and hating every part of the process.

but. sometimes i still remember the first art course i went to. the first time i was making art to receive construction feedback with industry professionals. one of those guys said i have a lot of potential to do amazing in the future. and it's just like. it's fine. even if i'm objectively doing shit with so little networking you could contain it in a sauce bowl. i will always believe that. that i have potential to do amazing. no matter how much time and how much effort it takes.

#spud.txt #i crave that kind of environment again. i can't find it in a like a company or studio. i just want. to be among other artists and like. #give construction to drive ourselves forward. #i'm tired of all the art discourse about AI and artists with egos and how you can call someone a bad person for their fucking twitter follo #er count #i yearn so much for a better thing. something amazing #i'll keep working on what i can even if it looks like throwing eggs at a wall o(-----< #and maybe. i am already doing something amazing. even if no one is there to witness it

[genderfluid-druid]

dropping thoughts like laundry into the aromanticism washing machine and watching them spin. taking little notes in a fancy journal titled "greyro??" and crossing them out, but then going back and scribbling an addendum. holding up an extravagant glass beaker full of a cool bubbling potion and peering at it through safety glasses that say "mind the amatonormativity!"

#i think there are two layers of questioning to deal with #the first layer is easier to see and that's the trauma-related layer #the second layer has been going stealth for years and is more intrinsic #the second layer *could* have been a contributing factor toward the first #so anyway the question is. as i work through the trauma and have the support of a therapist to deal with the first layer #does the second layer become an issue. or is there only the first and it's just worked itself deep enough that it now feels intrinsic #the thing is i do get crushes and i do yearn and i can't remember a time when i didn't crave the idea of a relationship #so that should be that right? not aro. at least not intrinsically. #but why did i always end up losing interest in the relationship once i had it #was it really just because i wasn't dating people i actively chose #honestly maybe. there *was* B. i don't know how much longer that might've continued if logistics hadn't put an end to it #and M....... M is a tricky one. because even though i left that relationship by my own choice. i kind of had to in order to not want to die #the thruple vibes with K were just so utterly rancid and M was just so incapable of doing anything to make it better #so yeah. maybe that one could've continued indefinitely IF two to three of the people involved had been #a leeeeetle more mature and well adjusted. maybe. but desire for a relationship was not the issue. #so okay. maybe im NOT aro. maybe i just have shitty taste in men. you know? that's a distinct possibility. #okay. so now on the other hand. let's look at how happy and enlightened I've felt since starting to *use* the aro label #cuz it actually is fantastic. the freedom to just feel love and affection for anyone I'm close to and not have to worry about #it being taken in a way i don't intend. that's great i love that #and not feeling any pressure to find The One? rocks. good shit. i can just let whatever relationships be what they're gonna be #and not have to fret over assigning a label and structures and expectations. hot shit. #(honestly it's helping me understand where M was coming from in a way that would've been. you know. pretty useful six years ago.) #i don't wanna lock myself in a relationship with friend E but it's great hanging out with her on a regular basis #cuz that's the amount of affection i feel for her. enough to chill and watch Owl House. not enough to be in each others' space all the time #(god idk if I'll ever want to be around anyone all the time ever again. that is a LOT for my limited batteries) #idk how physical affection fits into this yet. that area is still under development #but like. if my friends were cool with it and i knew they wouldn't take it too seriously then YES i would probably kiss almost any of them #and i THINK that's true and not me telling myself something i think I'm supposed to believe? i THINK. #'s always the possibility that i just very badly want to be kissed and my brain is looking to make that happen in a way that isn't scary #ah shit that’s 30 tags. i’ve done it again.

[givemaycoffee]

5, 19, and 20.

😌❤️ Incredibly concise. My ADHD caboose could never. I appreciate you.

5. Favorite form of potato

Savoury Squirrel Bakes - a recipe from the official Redwall cookbook, which I received when I was like 8. It involves potatoes, cheese, and chives all rolled in egg and then breadcrumbs and then baked. Ridiculously delicious.

19. The veggie you dislike the most

PEAS. They’re wretched. They have no place in my kitchen.

20. Favorite Disney princess movie

So, putting my burning hatred for Disney as a company aside - how could you ask me to make this choice??? There are so many different feelings pulling me toward different ones. FINE. I guess I’ll say Beauty and the Beast. But I want you to know that I almost added a read more so I could explain why Pocahontas and Frozen 2 were very strong contenders and it’s going into my tags anyway.

Ask me more weirdly specific and unrelated questions!

#asks #ask game #anon #LOOK #beauty and the beast appeals to me because Belle is the princess most like me in basically every way #I even ended up with a big grumpy husband and I love him to pieces #that library she gets? dream come true. #but I also grew up on a lot of acres and with a big yearning in my chest and Pocahontas just called to me in a way that is hard to explain #I have a very close and personal relationship with nature that comes from spending a lot of time outside barefoot climbing trees and wading #through creeks and YEARNING for something that is unattainable #and I was gonna say Frozen but the reason I love the Frozen movies is because of Elsa and I think the 2nd movie really captured what I love #I’m ace and I don’t often crave representation but seeing her on that journey and realizing at the end that she was calling to herself… #Elsa was the first princess (queen - whatever) to not have a love interest and to actually make some very good points on that matter #and seeing her whole and complete and fulfilled by embracing herself rather than someone else was breathtaking to me #she is the one most likely to make me cry because I feel so seen #in another lifetime I would’ve settled down in a qpr with my 2 besties and been completely content #I have a lot of love and I love to share it but idk that I need romance so much as I love companionship #I do love my husband tho and am very content with our life 🥰❤️

[noxtivagus]

i'll read more from now on again

#🌙.rambles #so much to just think about n i'm lost in my own lil world #tmrrw gna have to face reality again bcs of school :c but. yk lately this year i think i've already developed lots #this past week has been especially formative. #i crave n yearn.. intimacy so much. i want to just be free like that. bcs i'm safe in my own self n. too much to say but #i think it's lonely. being out a lot today made me realize that. all these barriers in communication is so.. lonely #i want to read so much more for so many reasons but here with what i've already laid out the first reason i'll say is #i want to understand others better i want to even further expand my own thinking n just learn so much more #n then.. goddamn i want to write too. write so much so i could #it hurts. it hurts so much i feel like i know n think n feel more than i should n the wisdom is breaking me apart i don't know how to put it #into words. maybe that's why i've been afraid to start new things despite my insatiable curiosity n passion. #afraid of how it'll fill me with even more & i'm not sure how i'd manage. i feel as though i understand life differently than most.. #most people around me at least. i see myself in musicians. artists. writers. #people who create once they've taken in much as well. people like me but.. it's been rather disturbing when i realize how most of them end #up like. n i wonder. i just wonder so much. n wish n dream that maybe i could end up differently. #i want so desperately to break out of the chains of reality of society of.. all those. idead that are taught to us n internalized ever since #we were born? i don't know how to write it and i don't think words could ever do it justice. but i want to truly be who i am at heart. #and yet being self-aware i suppose is confusing in such a bittersweet way. there's so much more that i do not know and cannot grasp #& then sometimes at the end of the day i just wonder n dream about if ever i would be more connected with reality. with this world. #regardless of how much one may put out to the world.. it'll never be understood or known in the same way as the one it originates from. #it's lonely. sad. but it makes what we can convey and relate with much more meaningful. n i'm so grateful for those things #n there's also just so much that relates to it n. yeah. is part of it like #the unconscious subconscious n conscious mind #for fuck's sake i want to learn so much it's overwhelming. psychoanalysis n neuroscience n #i want to learn more of others too. i want deep conversations. i want to read more books n listen to more music n just consume more n more #to learn more of the people who created them. everything around us is just so full of life n. it's so beautiful n so overwhelmingly painful. #my helplessness in doing more. i'm aware of why. n it just hurts. it hurts so much but i'm #glad at least that lately i've been more free. more myself. more self-aware n aware of the universe in general. n i look forward to #so much more. but.. yeah i still crave to be 'real' n part of this world in a more 'normal' way at times #i. have so much to write. but for now i'll return to reality with the this.. odd feeling in my chest. not enough too little too much. life

[wibble-wobbegong]

the religious symbols analysis mutual

oh my god nic. you’re gonna send me back down a horrible horrible path . i have so many other analyses to do.. i PROMISED myself i would let other people handle the religion stuff… you’re infecting the evilest most autistic part of my brain

#whimpers and cries while sliding my hand down my old docs #i know i have too much bias and lack of knowledge to do it properly… but im still so confident in my judgment day evidence #i got owned by james a while ago when he brought up some other religious event im forgetting the name of #my heart yearns to analyze but my brain craves objective truths more than being correct #asks

[kirtini]

.

#normalize looking at my art and reading my writing even if you don't tell me about it my ocs Must be Perceived #delete later #idk I've been desperately craving something and as much as im almost sure it's food related. it's probably also related to this #having a desire for an audience to my creative works even if i don't know about them in any way beyond a viewcount #even a like on a random post from months ago indicates someone at least saw one thing but likely was scrolling my art blog #it's probably just that i want cheese but wanting cheese can feel so profound you might confuse it with yearning for a witness to your soul #anyway. i love you goodnight