#i wrote parts of it on twitter but haven't been able to get into it more than that

[jinhogwarts]

these past two weeks have been so challenging, not even physically or anything you would expect from having a newborn, but mentally... it's been a lot. i'm still a bit traumatized from the whole hospital stay, and even though everything is okay with me and the baby it's still so hard not to blame myself for a lot of things that weren't actually in my control

#personal #i don't wanna talk about it tbh #but i also do #it's just very difficult for me rn #i did talk about it a lot with my therapist and my parents and idk who else #but not my friends tbh no one really asked #i wrote parts of it on twitter but haven't been able to get into it more than that

[ingravinoveritas]

I personally think its disgusting of what she posted yet again its all about her and she the reason why micheal keeps trending 4th day oh please he was trending for days before she came in the picture. And for someone who has no career and basically living off her parter who works so hard and been ill with virus the last few days and haven't been able to perform and she post this. Taking the credit for something that has nothing to do with her. He very grateful that she keep him grounded what that suppose to mean ? He was doing better before she came in the picture since he been with her his career have been slowed a little and she probably the reason for it

What do u say ?

Oh, boy. I saw this a little while ago, and all I could think was that the bar is so low at this point--like halfway between the fourth and fifth circles of Hell--and this still somehow falls short.

I know there has been a lot of talk about the t-shirt Anna is wearing (which was a gift from a fan at the stage door of Nye), but for me, the t-shirt is the least concerning part of all this. It's a reference to a quote from Staged (it's the title of a season 1 episode, in fact), and I am sure Michael found it funny. The only problem is that without the context of why it's a joke, it actually just isn't that funny. And it sets the stage for everything else that is happening.

Which brings me to the caption she wrote, which was what primarily caught my attention. The reason Michael is currently trending on Twitter (X, whatever we're calling it) is because of the overwhelmingly positive response to The Assembly, which aired last Friday night. He is receiving a tremendous amount of praise for being on the show, how he spoke to the interviewers, and the respectful and joyous atmosphere that was cultivated on the show. And rather than allude to any of that--not to mention Michael being sick recently, or the trip they went on to Disneyland Paris--Anna made Michael trending on Twitter about her.

That is what stands out to me the most. The idea of "keeping him grounded" that is coming across more like kicking someone when he is already down. That he somehow needs that, and that she would have us believe he is "grateful" to her for, what...comparing him to a loud bird? Repeatedly making fun of his looks and interests without a shred of respect or affection behind it? I'm also confused by the implication (and the irony) that Michael somehow has a large ego that needs to be kept in check when she is the one coming across as self-involved in this Insta story. So, yes. I'm at a bit of loss here.

I just keep thinking of the things she could have said instead. How she could have uplifted Michael, wished him well on returning to the stage tonight after several days' absence, said how she was glad to have spent time with him or taken care of him while he was ill. Just something that would give him a reason to hold his head high. But I guess it might just be easier to convince herself/everyone else that he is smiling if his head is hanging down instead.

I am just glad Michael is out performing again tonight and getting to be on stage and do the thing he truly loves to do. But those are my thoughts, and I'd be glad to hear from my followers about what you think, regardless of whether you agree or disagree...

#angel19924 #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #the 'keeping him grounded' thing is giving me Georgia Lite vibes #though at least with Georgia it's original #i don't even know anymore #i don't think AL has had any effect on Michael's career either and I'm not blaming her for that #yet it seems clear he hasn't affected her career in the way she hoped either #trying to provide a balanced perspective #but what's the old saying: when someone shows you who they are believe them the first time #anna lundberg #relationships #thoughts #discourse

[idontlikeem]

i'd like to talk about grieving, a little bit. as in the past, discussions of death and cancer below the cut, don't read if this will hurt you, etc....i'm having a bad day and i just need to stream of consciousness for a little bit. sorry.

so my mom died. if you've read my personal posts before or whatever, you probably figured that out. it happened on thursday february 15th around noon. luckily we had a bit of notice that it was coming, so i was able to drive down the saturday prior and spend time with her—three full days where she was pretty much still herself, and part of a fourth.

it's been a really hard month. like, obviously. but i think a part of me still wasn't quite ready for it. i don't know how.

my mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer in fall 2011. she had a mastectomy and went through chemo, and that was hard and scary, but it was i think technically considered stage one—a tumor that was definitely growing fast, but it hadn't spread out of the area, like not to her lymph nodes or anything, and with the treatment she went almost ten years totally symptom-free. right at the start of the pandemic, the cancer came back, but this time it was already stage four, and it was in her abdomen and uterus and intestines.

there was a time when we weren't sure she'd live more than a year. endometrial and other reproductive cancers aren't 'sexy' like breast cancer is, they're not widely studied and there aren't a lot of treatment options. when she had breast cancer i hated 'save the boobies' campaigns (and please never donate to susan komen), but now that my family has lived with another type of cancer that doesn't have tits as a draw, i hate them even more.

my mom made it four years, pretty much, since the first diagnosis. she did chemo, and radiation, and went on medication trials, and put her body through hell to try and fight it. she lived longer than i think any of us thought she would.

the problem with that is how long i've been existing in a state of grief.

i've had years to prepare for this. i've thought about it literally thousands of times—how i'd feel, how i'd tell people, what i'd do after. i pictured it, because i was trying to plan. i was trying to get myself ready.

turns out pre-grieving isn't real. turns out you can't get this pain out of the way by experiencing it in advance. much to my chagrin. i'm not sure there was a way to avoid it, though. so here i am, with four years of grief behind me, and not one second of it has made what's going on now any easier.

some days i forget. every time i'm on twitter or instagram, there are posts i want to send her, and then i don't know what to do with myself. for all that my relationship with her had its hard times, she was my mom, she was my best friend. i love her more than anything and i don't know what to do with myself now that she's gone.

i've been sort of just surviving for the last four weeks. my apartment is a mess, i'm barely leaving, i haven't been good at responding to people. so today i thought i'd at least clean up a little. i'd gone to target a day or two before i drove down to my parents', and i figured i would start with those bags, because they were just sitting there.

i'd forgotten that i bought valentine's day cards for my whole family that i wanted to send. one for each of my brothers, one for my dad, one for my mom. i never sent them, obviously, i didn't even bring them with me. i burst into tears when i pulled them out of the bag, and i've been crying pretty much all day since then. i'm never going to pick out a card for my mom ever again.

i also have a notes app file sitting on my phone. she wrote each of us letters, and my dad sent them out to us, but i haven't been able to open mine yet. it's the last new thing she'll ever say to me. how could i possibly be ready for that? how do i know when the right time to read that will be?

one thing my mom wanted was to die at home. she didn't want it to be in a hospital, and i get it. she spent a month in the hospital after christmas, and god knows how much time cumulatively over the last four years. the fact that she was able to push to get home is something i don't understand, because she was so sick—but she did it somehow. she was able to die in her bed.

and i was with her. like. i wasn't just at home, i was with her.

something they don't tell you about having someone die is you have to start arranging stuff before it actually happens. when we woke up on the 15th, we knew it was only a matter of time—her eyes weren't all the way open and her breath was labored, and she couldn't talk, although at first she still tried to say stuff. we sat there with her and kept her company and talked to her. hospice came by around 11 or 11:30, i don't even remember, and said that based on whatever measurements or readings they take (pupils? breathing? i don't know), it would be between 4-8 hours, and he recommended that my dad call the funeral home. because you have to do that first.

so my youngest brother was driving down from where he lives, my middle brother was in his room, my dad was in his room on the phone, and i stayed with her, because....well, of course, right? and i was just kind of talking, and crying, but trying not to...i don't know, beg her to stay? ask for more time? the nurse said she could still hear, they're pretty sure that hearing and understanding what's being said is the last thing to go, and i didn't want her to feel bad or guilty, or to hurt herself in an effort to stay longer even though there's nothing more that i've ever wanted in my life.

so i told her, you know, we'll be okay. it's going to be unbearably sad, and it's going to suck, but all the stuff we did as a family with her—we'll still do it. and we'll be okay. and there's nothing more important to us than her not hurting anymore, not being miserable and stuck and just...not herself. all that matters to us right now is her, and she didn't have to worry about us, because we'd be okay.

and she took in a breath. there was a pause. she took in another one. and she stopped. that was it.

i didn't even realize at first, not right the second it happened. the hospice booklet had talked about a 'death rattle', about how it happens almost all the time, but that it's more distressing for the people with the person dying than them, that they're not in pain. how the fuck would they know that, i'm not sure i believe it, but...it's what i was expecting. that didn't happen, though. she just stopped breathing.

the amount of guilt i felt for my dad being out of the room...i don't know if that will ever leave me. he said it was ok, because he was having to deal with stuff, and he'd spent a lot of time with her and it was fine, but jesus. how do i not feel like i stole that from him?

i've felt like a shell ever since. i'm back where i live, and i'm getting up and going to work and taking care of my dog and trying to stay connected to life, but...i don't know.

how is it that she's gone? how is this possible? how am i supposed to go the rest of my life without her?

i had four years to get ready for this, and i wasn't. i don't think there's any way i really could have been, but still. it doesn't seem fair that it was so hard for so long, and for NOTHING. nothing is easier now.

i'm sick of feeling sad, and hurt. i feel like i should be over it or something? i don't know, maybe just less actively affected? it's been a month. people's parents die all the time, right?

what am i supposed to do?

#personal

[gaspshichat]

hi chat. pearl made me cry at 9:30 in the morning so y'all know what time is it. warning there will be swears [i say the f word ☹️] bc i haven't slept but i'm somehow not sick rn which. hasn't happened in weeks

[and a quick health update: pretty sure i have narrowed down what's making me sick to three possible things. i'm hopefully seeing my doctor soon bc the refill on my meds expires in june. we're so close and i haven't been able to breathe]

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.

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OH MY GOD. Y'ALL. IF YOU'RE FOLLOWING ME AND SOMEHOW AREN'T A PEARL FAN. HOW ???? GO. GO BE A PEARL FAN. IT'S A THREAT

pearl is funny and kind and caring. there is a reason i gave her 10k bits the other day. she deserves the entire world and more. i don't know what the world did to her that made her so kind

i'm not the only one who has a message though !! here are a few messages from people but i've seen so many in reblogs and tweets and whatnot

.

from my lovely partner tay aka twitter user PandoraRxse: I can’t catch streams very often but your videos always make me smile and I always look forward to a new upload. Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re amazing Pearl

from lovely twitter user SKYBL1NGS: shes like genuinely super funny and has great content that everyone can get into and shes really pretty and i loce pearlecentmoon

from a lovely anonymous twitter user: she is genuinly such an amazing artist, both in minecraft and in real life, all of her art is so lively in a way that i'm not sure how to describe best. also she is such a kind human being :))

from lovely tumblr user sapphicwhimsy: pearl is such a lovely and sweet person. shes SO kind to everyone in chat, new or old, and creates such a lovely environment to hang around in. her streams are the only ones i can sit through fully, and she has SUCH a lovely voice! i could listen to her read the dictionary, because im sure she would make it interesting. she has such a way to make everything interesting! even things like sitting still for thirty minutes can be something interesting in a pearl stream, because shes always got such amazing things to say. shes absolutely beautiful, inside and out, with a kind soul that matches her through and through. the fact that she always tries to read everyone out personally, and tries to pronounce their names correctly - and accepts corrections wholeheartedly - is so nice. and shes so wonderfully accepting to all of her community, and always has well wishes for everyone. shes truly a very wonderful and accepting person, who deserves the world! honestly the sweetest person ive ever came across.

.

anyway onto the next part of why i made this post

HOW THE FUCK IS SHE SO PRETTY. WHAT. IT'S GENUINELY UNFAIR. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD BE A GODDAMN SCULPTURE

LIKE COME ON. I WISH I COULD DRAW SO I COULD DRAW HER. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. WHAT THE HELL. LOOK AT HER

featuring other GORGEOUS women. my god. i am so

anyway :)) it took me an hour and a half to write this bc i kept getting distracted. in short. pearl is so amazing and wonderful. it's weird how she remembers things about me and actually cares ???

also. SHE PRONOUNCED MY NAME CORRECTLY ???? I'VE HEARD SUCH TERRIBLE PRONUNCIATIONS BUT PEARL. SHE SAID IT RIGHR FIRST TRY. WHAT. i kind of want to hear how karn would attempt to pronounce it

[bc yes. i'm okay with anyone, including streamers, calling me vyren. you know me better than my dad does. it's okay to call me vy, vyren, gasp, or gasps]

sleepy brain wrote this post and i want to say so much more but i can't. i had a better message when i did my 10k bits message but that thing is long gone. the only way pearl knows about those bits is if she sees this

and to her community: i love y'all. y'all are lovely. thanks for helping make my shitty life a little brighter. the world may not be kind to me, but y'all are. thank y'all for that. y'all are so lovely

pearl, if you see this, sending all the love to you and your three cats. and yes. karn is the third cat

#pearlescentmoon #maintagging like she is a vampire and my tumblr is my house #appreciation post #the second time i've invited her in #chat y'all better say y'all's favourite things about her #and to people who are mean to pearl: i am in your walls 🫶

[the-badger-mole]

Do you think you could link that little story you wrote about Aang trying to "speak now and not forever hold his peace?" I forgot to like it (I'm on my computer and I'm not quite used to desktop Tumblr) and I haven't been able to find it

I will be moving my Tumblr fics over to Ao3 after I finish cross posting my FFN works. Hopefully early next year. Tumblr's Archive feature is so laughably useless, I don't know why they even bother having it. Instead of spending all this time and money trying to look like Twitter or getting people to use their stupid Blaze feature, they need to fix the parts of the site people actually want to use 🙄

Anywho...! Here's the story! Please reblog after you've read it, so other people can read it without having to dig through the hoarder pile that is my archive page.

#atla #zutara #tumblr is the worst #fix your archive feature!

[c0usingreg]

Theory Time

I am saying this now because I haven't heard anyone else put two theories together and it just makes so much sense to me.

We all know the theory of Mike keeping a letter to Will in his jacket pocket. There isn't really evidence so much as there is foreshadowing of the fact. I will link a more in depth analysis here (by @bylercloud )

"Letter to Willy" - The song that plays in Dear Billy.

Joyce finding Hopper's letter in a shirt pocket while packing for California. It's a meaningful heart to heart type letter. Which, after reading, El folds and place in her own shirt pocket.

Jonathon keeping his community college letter in his shirt pocket as well. Much of his storyline in S4 revolves around him hiding the existence of this letter from everyone but Argyle. Even Joyce.

The cryptic post on from the Stranger Writers twitter.

The letters aren't kept in the pockets of their jeans or anywhere else. They are kept close to their hearts. Possibly signifying their emotion significance as well as the fact that the characters what to keep them guarded, protected, where no one else can see or get to them them.

We also know the theory that the Duffer Brother's did not actually forget Will's birthday. See these two posts by @chirpsythismorning for more in depth evidence. But the gist is:

The Duffer's claiming they haven't rewatched season 2 in ages, which is clearly not true going by the parallels. They are sticklers for their timelines and dates, mentioning mutiple times the different ways they made specific choices in order to make things work and that they have calculated Vecna's age and so on. NOt to mention that Will has always been a central part of the ST story, do we really think the creators would forget one of their main character's birthdays? As well as them saying they would edit the S2 episode that mentions his birthday, but also saying they wouldn't and haven't edited any past seasons.

Birthdays being referenced mutliple times throughout S4, most notably Suzie knowing Dustin's birthday down to the hour.

The simple fact that they even decided to add a guy with a camera to the scene, purposefully showing a segment through the lense in order to give us this time stamp in the first place. March 22nd being specifically chosen as the date.

So my thoughts? What if it's not just a letter in Mike's pocket, what if it's a birthday card? What if no one actually forgot Will's birthday?

Mike writes a letter/birthday card for Will. Possibly even making him something -- my thoughts being he wrote a DnD campaign, something he's been known to do as dungeon master of their friend group as well as the the pic from the Stanger Writers twitter reading "I think you'll--" [like it] "sorry I couldn't get it done--" [in time for your birthday] "but you mean--" [so much to me] and it's been [so long since we played]. "Hope this is--" [good enough to] "last until--" [ 1) next time? or: 2) I finish the campaign.] "Love--" [Mike].

I like to point out the fact that in one of the ST comics Mike actually tries writing a DnD campaign for just Will, wanting to make it so that Will, and only Will, would be able to save them and eventually win the campaign. Link

I could even go as far as to say that it's a possibility that Joyce ad Johnathon didn't forget Will's birthday. Make come's to see them on that day specifically. Perhaps the Byer's were the one's to make this happen, maybe paid for the ticket, as a birthday present for Will?

There isn't much evidence either way, but I do think it's curious how Jonathon stops Will at Rink-o-Mania and tells him to have fun. He doesn't say this to anyone else. It gives off the vibes that maybe this was supposed supposed to be more of Will's day, but that Mike was ruining it with his stand-offish behavior.

Then, with everything that ends up happening -- El assaulting Angela, the cops being called, Mike being in a mood, Jonathon getting high, the Russian doll and Murray showing up -- it's very possible that his birthday was swept under the rug, put on the back burner, or forgotten about because there was so much drama going on.

Lastly, they return to Hawkins around the end of March and Mike's birthday is April 7th. It would be a perfect opportunity to bring up the secret letter/card Mike has for Will when Will inevitably gives/says/does something for Mike's birthday.

This all being said, when it comes to Will's birthday and how it was handled vs how it will play out in the next season, I believe the Duffers know what they are doing, and they might be the only ones who know the significance of it. They may have kept the actors in the dark on this.

All of this, of course is just speculation! Some parts could be right, others completely wrong, but I think it's a compelling theory, or at least a sensible way to marry these two theories together. If you made it this far, thank you for staying with me and I would love to hear your thoughts/opinions on this!

#this ended up being much longer than I anticipated #oof #thanks for coming to my ted talk #stranger things #will byers #byler headcanon #mike x will #byler s4 #byler script #byler is canon #byler nation #mike wheeler #byler #stranger things theory #stranger things analysis

[ruegarding]

(hi this is aroaceleovaldez it's a sideblog so i cant send asks from it hrg) a.) always love seeing your tags on my posts lol you have very good opinions [handshake emoji] b.) i'll be honest i wasn't even thinking about the awful pjo wwii stuff when i made that post i was thinking about the new, *different* antisemitism from TOA. of which there is. even more somehow. 😬 also fun fact Rick saying Reyna is allo-ace-coded on twitter might have actually semi been directly because of me, because he said that within like 2 hours and 2 tweets of replying to an open letter i wrote where i literally said that the way he wrote Reyna in Tyrant's Tomb falls into aphobic tropes and Isn't Great. despite replying to it i dont think he actually read it, lol. he then almost immediately left twitter for like 4 years and he also has since deleted his reply. fascinating stuff, truly.

anyways please excuse me digging through your hazel tag cause i am constantly dying trying to find hazel-focused fanart and you have one of the few good hazel tags i've been able to find. picture me scurrying away like some sort of small creature here.

hi thank u!! i appreciate your posts abt disabilities/ableism especially bc it's such an integral part of the story and a lens that gets lost despite that

i'll be honest, i haven't read toa (only short snippets when i want to see a specific scene), so i just read this article abt it, and it's frustrating that almost every example of diversity rick includes is riddled w harmful stereotypes. like, google is right there to help you avoid at least some! (psa to anyone else reading this, google "harmful [x] stereotypes" before making a character you're unfamiliar with!) the wwii stuff...rereading the series again like two years ago shocked me bc i had completely erased the entire plotline from my memory as a kid. some of these choices have me questioning the editors at the time, bc there were definitely things an editor should've pointed out if they were reading the full text.

your power! lmao but that behavior is exactly what makes it so difficult to give rick real feedback. i know some fans claim the older fandom is too cynical, but if we've been trying to give the same advice for years it's going to get old fast. every good change is accompanied by something else (especially noticeable in how percy is treated), so it always feels double-edged. but i'm glad you said this actually bc i didn't know he specified allo-ace! i had assumed he said aro-ace, but that actually makes the way ppl behave abt lesbians identifying w reyna more alarming...regardless i'm glad he's including ace rep bc it's rare, but the way reyna and the hunters were handled is...confusing at best.

please enjoy! i love hazel sm and i recently just went thru someone else's blog and queued a bunch of posts in a very similar fashion lol

#yeah i'm a fraud i haven't finished boo and the only thing past boo i've read is cotg #and that's bc it's short and i got it for free thank u elías :3 #also i didn't know rick left twitter for four years that is so funny LMAO #i can't imagine being on twitter as someone famous tho i get stressed enough w this blog #anyway it is very frustrating when aro/ace identities get erased in favor of shipping so i definitely understand why ppl are #so defensive over reyna/the hunters but. still not a great situation here #ending this now bc i'm rambling #rr crit #answered

[batwynn]

are people still into drarry at this point? as far as i know the entire hp fandom basically died when a certain someone spoke her political opinions. anyone still talking about hp gets harassed to oblivion and so many callout posts pop up saying that if you still like the franchise you're supporting terfs. i honestly don't know how to feel, i'd simply deleted all my hp content on my blog because seeing them just makes me uncomfortable in hindsight :/

So, I wasn't planning on replying to this because I didn't want to hurt anyone by sharing it, or by my reply. It's something that calls for some nuance that I worry I won't be able to explore properly. But I had a thought and I wanted to share it. Trigger warning: Mentions of transphobia, JKR, and suicidal thoughts. Note: This has been tagged for black lists so people can avoid it. Apologies for those in the fandom tags.

-

So, I'm trans. That's something I'm always pretty open about online, especially as I haven't had much safe space to be open about it in real life. My transition process has been somewhat public, even if I've been pretty quiet about things in the past few years. If you search my blog, you can probably find the posts where I started exploring my gender around 2016-2017ish. They're posted along side Drarry posts, among other fandoms I was in. You will also find that I stopped posting as much Drarry a few years later, with little correlation to what the author was saying or doing at the time because I wasn't on Twitter and hadn't heard the news yet. I drifted fandoms a bit, then I went on Twitter and... yeah.

Now here's where it gets a bit complicated, and personal. A Drarry fanfiction saved my life because it helped convince me that I could transition. That I could be trans and it was okay. A Drarry fanfic told me I wasn't too old, I wasn't wrong, it's not too late, and it's okay to do the things that make you happy even if you spent half your life doing the things that people told you were right but were wrong for you. I'm not dramatizing this in any way. I read this fanfic when I was in a really bad place, when I was figuring out I was trans and in a horrible relationship with a shitty person and I was scared to death. All I could think was that there was no way out for me. I'm not saying this to guilt anyone for not liking Drarry/Harry Potter. I'm not saying it to defend JKR or any of the things she's made, said, or done. I'm not saying it because I'm a traitor to the trans community or that Harry Potter is even that important to me. I'm saying it because a writer out there wrote a Drarry fanfiction with no intention of it being life saving, and yet they did save my life. They just wanted to create something fun, and meaningful, with two characters from some books. Did it have to be Harry Potter? For them, yes. They read those books and saw more to the characters than JKR ever could, and they gave us a story that is so meaningful and transformative that I literally did the thing JKR hates with her entire bitter, little heart. Because of a person in the fandom. Now, I personally feel a disconnect from those books these days. She's really, truly ruined those memories for me in ways I can't even put into words. Worse even, was seeing that there were bigotries in those books that I was ignorant to, as a child. Things I didn't see because I didn't know. And knowing now that it was always there, the hatred and ugliness, makes the original material poison to me. And god, don't get me started on messy fandom spaces. Don't look towards the Interview With a Vampire fandom at all. It's, unfortunately, a large part of being in a group space with people who like a thing. There will be hateful people, there will be Bad people. But there are also NOT those people. There are queer people who still love their fandoms. There are people writing trans Harry Potter fics. There are people cosplaying Draco in a skirt and fuck gender rolls we're vibing here. There's also a massive difference between enjoying a community built by fans, and directly supporting JKR with money and attention. What you do in response to her cruelty is totally valid, however you decide. Deleting the content is completely understandable. Not wanting to see anything Harry Potter related is also valid, especially when so many of us have been seriously hurt by her. Not supporting JKR in views or money is important to supporting trans people. But I can't tell people how to respond, how to behave, or how to experience the fandom. Trauma responses vary by person. Being angry and yet completely embracing the fandom to the point where it belongs to the fans is also a super valid reaction. People are a complex system of experiences and reactions. There is no one set way to respond. There is always room to learn, there is always room to listen. The unfortunate truth, however, is this has happened before with creators who we learn are complete assholes, and will happen again. The best we can do is support one another and regularly tell the people who are out to hurt us to fuck right off.

#Harry Potter #Drarry #JKR #jk rowling #Tw: Transphobia #Tw: Suicidal thoughts #Batwynn Talks #TERFS DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT

[ivyblossom]

you okay? haven't seen you around these parts lately?

Hello, anon, how kind of you to notice my absence and ask, that's so sweet of you!

I have been visiting family, and then I was at an in-person professional conference, one that I was in charge for planning, which was a little high-stakes-y and a bit stressful (it went GREAT, all well there), so I was stuck in real world stuff for a while. All good.

But then there's this fannish stuff that has me a bit...well.

I'm treading a little more carefully with my fannish life because of some twitter drama that had nothing to do with me. It wasn't about me in any way whatsoever, and I'm overreacting, but it flashed the possibility of a creator (or creator-adjacent) discussion about how shitty it is that we sillies write fanfiction that they don't like or approve of, and my heart honestly can't take it. I pretend I'm thick-skinned about this stuff, and I wish I were, but I'm really not. Even a hint that things are going in that direction makes me feel sick. So I throw words at it in the hopes that that will protect me. Which probably does the opposite.

Writing fanfiction feels great to me. I love doing it, I love interacting with other fans and getting into deep conversations about characters and voice and emotions and big, moral decision-making and all that stuff, it feels very honest and genuine to me. It feels like we use these stories as tools to communicate about something much bigger, that we're digging into parts of ourselves that are really foundational and otherwise unrevealed. Like, the shared language of stories gives us these amazing tools to talk about things and experience things that it's hard to get at otherwise. It feels like you're suddenly able to communicate with a group of people you didn't know existed before, in a language you didn't know you understood, and those people see you and get you in a way you've never experienced before. It's a cool thing. I always come away from it a different person, and I'd say a better one.

So when people I admire laugh at us in that particular way, you know the one, it really hits me hard.

This is a really vulnerable place to me. I don't know if I've ever fully appreciated how much that's true. Fandom is a pseudonymous trust fall in the oddest way. And hitting the ground is probably the inevitable result, but I keep climbing back up again anyway.

I never considered whether, as a fan, I want some kind of pat on the head from creators. That makes no sense, but maybe I do. What a weird way to go about getting acknowledgement, eh? The things we do to ourselves.

The first time I wrote fanfiction it was a form of criticism. I definitely didn't want a thumbs up from JK Rowling. I couldn't have cared less what she thought of what we were doing. She was always an anti-role model for me rather than someone whose good opinion I wanted. I had no desire for creator approval there.

I wrote Sherlock fics because of the unspoken parts, the parts that lay beneath the words. The first time I wrote a Sherlock fic it was because I was impressed with Sherlock's voice and I thought it would be impossible to use it as a narrator, which of course prompted me to try. I also thought this unemotional character would be so much more appealing to me personally if he had a secret and powerful emotional life, which I could project into unemotional behaviour and could always believe was there even if it never appeared on screen. I wouldn't have said this at the time, but in retrospect I think I did want Steven Moffat in particular to know that I, nameless me, wrote a story out of admiration for the construction of those characters, and that I did a pretty okay job of using that toolset for an amateur. I must have wanted that somehow, even though that's not a reasonable or possible thing to get. Something like, pat pat "You did okay, little fan, well done, keep working at it, you're getting there!" That's pretty silly, isn't it, but I think I probably would have loved a generalized nod like that. Some part of me wanted to be seen, I guess? By people who's work I admired? I guess that's not so weird.

This time, with Our Flag Means Death, I just love the story, I love the characters, I love the writing and the voices, everything, I didn't want to change or add anything at all, I just wanted to write something that's a sort of love letter and a heartfelt squee, because I think this thing is beautiful, and I felt like we were getting a general YAY WE LOVE YOU TOO WE LOVE WHAT YOU CREATE IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE AND ADMIRATION WE SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE I SEE YOU vibe back, and that felt scarily nice. I guess I fear getting what I want, because it's all so vulnerable, and what if I believe it and I feel buoyed by it and I go more vulnerable in my fannish way, and then it turns out to be all a big joke and a lie? Then I feel stupid and really hurt.

I shouldn't let people I don't know, and who don't even know I exist, hurt me. And yet somehow, I keep standing up for this bizarre trust fall. Perhaps I am just a sucker for punishment. Pedestals are bad for everyone. I need to stop putting people on them. I should stop finding ways to hit the ground myself at the feet of them!

You asked how I'm doing, and I guess I could have just said, "Oh, fine," but no, I bought you a pint and sat you down and told you the whole damn story, didn't I. Thanks for listening. Do you need another pint? I certainly owe you one at this point.

#I'm great at small talk #fannish angst

[orbleglorb]

now that more ppl are offline (and probably won't see it): here's a full mourning of blaseball, i guess.

warnings for suicide and mental health treatment. pls don't reblog this lol i just need it off my chest

i, like many others, discovered blaseball during the pandemic. i discovered it in... august? maybe? i think i "joined" around season 7, and really joined around season 10.

2020 was a rough year for me. 2021 was, too. in january 2021, i went to a residential treatment center. i was there until august 2021 (which is actually an incredibly short stay). the expansion era (seasons 12-24) happened march 2021 thru july 2021. it ended july 30th. i got out august 6th. literally like 6 fucking days. i am still pissed about this btw

anyway! i was 15 when i joined blaseball. im 18 now. im an adult. my first team, back in summer o' 2020, was the boston flowers. then i fluted to the shoe thieves. then the lift. and i was with the data witches during the coffee cup. i had fun on all of those teams! i even roleplayed some characters on twitter (i ran one of the val hitherto accounts, a kit honey account and jason datablase). (if you remember me from the first rp server i am so sorry. i don't remember what i said/did but im 90% sure it sucked).

throughout treatment, i kept blaseball close to my heart. my friends were able to send me letters, and i asked them to keep me updated on blaseball. they didn't, and at first, i was pretty upset. but when i got back, i understood why. there's really no way to explain the expansion era. even the wiki struggled. there was just.... so much. all the time. (although, when i broke up with my then-gf via mail, she sent me back a long letter explaining everything that happened in blaseball between seasons 12 and... 16? maybe?). nevertheless, my love for the splort persisted. i wrote fanfic in treatment, despite not knowing whether or not these characters would be alive when i got to get on the internet again. in hindsight, i probably could have snuck on blaseball.com on the computers, but some of the staff were just cruel. i would have been banned from using the computers at all, or from being alone near devices, or maybe from going outside, if a TL was having a particularly bad day. all of that aside: i loved and i created within a space that, looking back, was hostile. more hostile than i realized. i drew so much art, none of which i will be posting because i couldn't use reference images and the anatomy is so bad. i also listened to the garages. god, i listened to so much garages. suicide warning for this last part of the paragraph -- the night i had decided to kill myself, i put on music while waiting for others to go to sleep, and in the feedback (night) came on. the "i don't know i'd get you back" really, really dug deep. obviously, i didn't commit, and i have blaseball to (partially) thank for that.

i wouldn't say blaseball, specifically, saved my life. i would have found other songs that made me feel okay. other communities, other interests. but blaseball offered all of that. and, above all: it offered a creative space.

blaseball is unique in that fans create player and team lore, but it still gives a foundation for these. it's easier than making your own story from scratch, and (sometimes) easier than making ocs for your favorite piece of media. allowing that much creativity in a place with the basic building blocks of plot and world building & not much else is what drove many ppl to enjoy blaseball, including me. especially in the pandemic, when everyone was low on energy and motivation. i haven't shared a sizeable fraction of the blaseball art and fics i have created. i created so much because of this game!

i am going to love these characters until the end of time. i am going to carry a piece of them with me forever. literally. i have so many blaseball headmates. and, truly, i do have them and other headmates to thank for helping me get out of that place. they've done more than blaseball itself has. but, blaseball was the right thing at the right time: a mixture of community, music, characters to project onto, and characters to photocopy into my brain forever (the last part wasn't intentional, of course, but it did help).

blaseball will always be important to me, as all of my special interests are, past and present. i am forever changed because of it, but like, i'm 98% sure it's for the better. like, homestuck changed me, but that was 70% for the worse, probably. so it didn't have as much of a negative impact on me as homestuck did! which, like, is a bar so low it's in the sixth circle stadium, but i'll count it as a win.

i don't know how to end this rant. really, it's been amazing. i love this community and will continue to. i will continue to create blaseball content for as long as my autistic heart latches onto it, which can be, like, another two months or another ten years. who knows? not me. and i have to be okay with not knowing.

im terrified this community is going to fall apart. i've made great friends here. i will love you all and follow you whether you go. just don't go where i can't follow (hockey rpf)

i love you, blaseblr mutuals. i love you, blaseball community. i have a love-hate relationship with you, blaseball sim. many teams, one league!

#blaseball (organizational)

[nightcat2609]

I just have to get this off my chest lmao: what I wanna say about Owl City's latest album Coco Moon, released on March 24, 2023.

If you see this post and haven't listened to Coco Moon yet, here's the Spotify link. The album's also on Youtube, Youtube Music if you have that, Apple Music and iTunes.

and on Bandcamp, you can also purchase the album there for as low as $1 (name your price basically) and iirc you can also get the studio master versions there.

On February 10, 2023 Adam posted this long but lovely post. It's also on his official Twitter and Instagram pages. I'm gonna quote some lines from this post along the way

First of all, this album has been a revelation. The five or so years of waiting for a new album since 2018 has been truly worth it. Adam didn't dissappoint me as usual and forever may it continue.

"Some songs on “Coco Moon” are metaphorical in a story kind of way. I like to read books because books take me places. When I pick up a book, I leave planet Earth. I wrote a few songs inspired by this." Ah a fellow book lover, I love the way books and stories can take us anytime and anywhere even for just a few moments

"And then some songs on “Coco Moon” are odd. Meaning, some have unusual structures, some don’t make a lot of sense, a few are extremely wordy, others are a little too long." Maybe this is me getting old but I love the long and wordy songs on Coco Moon, Adam truly has a gift with words and storytelling. It'll be a welcome surprise if any Coco Moon songs go viral since online virality these days tends to favor short songs, not that's it's a bad thing. just a sign of the times I guess.

"Creative oddity is beautiful to me so I embraced it." this is the Adam I know and love since I heard Fireflies on the radio back in 2009. And true to these lyrics from "Fiji Water" from his Cinematic album:

"And I'd say "Hey, there is more to me than meets the eye

Let me be who I wanna be"

And I'd say "Hey, I'm an oddity and that's alright

Let me fly and follow my dreams"

"The point is that “Coco Moon” is a very Owl City album. It is quirky. It is odd. It is unapologetically myself. I made an album that is exactly the way it was supposed to be, not an album that popular culture, or algorithms, or analytics, or anyone else on planet Earth told me to make. I wrote me. Average, ordinary, weird me."

Imo nobody in pop music these is doing it quite like Owl City. It makes for more unique and progressive vibes. And as a reminder because of some songs in Coco Moon with a Christian undertone, Adam's Christian faith has been a part of him since day one. At the very least, we should respect that and let him cook.

"CS Lewis said to Tolkien, “If they won’t write the kinds of books we want to read, we shall have to write them ourselves.”" - I feel this on a deep level since at this rate I have to write some the stories I wanna read.

"I started by imagining an album I wanted to listen to. The result is “Coco Moon.” I’m so grateful and honored to be able to share it with you soon."

After finally hearing all of Coco Moon this week, it's been an honor in return to listen to a masterpiece of an album. Adam has come a long way from being a kid in a small town, dreaming about seeing the world, to who he is today, experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly of life. And he's even found the love of his life along the way! I'm so happy for him and Abbey. They deserve everything good in this world. Thank you very much good sir Adam.

Right now I need to listen to the album some more times to pick favorites. I'll update this post when I've made my picks.

#owl city #adam young #coco moon #music #brainfart #Spotify #Bandcamp

[masonalexanderparkconfession]

Okay, so I haven't been able to stop thinking about the headcanons you wrote about what it might be like to date Mason, and I've been working up the courage to ask this:

Could you write something like that but for dating Mason and their partner, Alice, at the same time, please? Like in a polyamorous relationship (as a throuple).

It's 100% fine if you say no, tho. I understand that I'm asking kind of a lot.

(In the future, I'd like to use an emoji or something, so you know which Anon I am. I'm just struggling to pick just one..)

(Also, completely off topic: Do you speak French? I just picked up that vibe from reading some of your stuff. If so, I can ask future questions in French, if you want, cause it's my first language)

Hello, dear Anon! Thank you for your kind message, and I will see what I can do with this Headcanon.

Also, yes, you are right. ^_^ I speak french, this is my first language too! I wonder what exactly gave that vibe, but, hello fellow-french-speaker. Which is why, if you like it, you could be known as Anon 🍊 (Because Orange is written the same, both in french and in english, hehe!)

Just before I start the Headcanon: Alice's Twitter says their pronouns are She/They, so that's why I'll use both in the story, and! It's my first time ever writing throuple dynamics! ^^

(All this is for entertainment only, and it is fictional, about what I imagine dating Mason & Alice may be like, based on their public personas, but they are their own persons and this headcanon isn't meant to reflect a reality.)

And I hope you will enjoy it!

You had been following Mason since a while, always getting a front seat to watch their concerts, but never dared to speak with them at the end.

Alice was often watching the concerts as well, though it was by Zoom, because their work kept her busy overseas. Little did you know they had noticed your regular presence in the audience. You had caught her eyes.

Eventually, they could free herself to actually come. In the darkness, and in the crowd, you did not notice her. But before you would leave the room at the end, as you usually did, they went to you.

You were stressed, and she did not exactly manage to put you at ease either... Especially not when she guided you backstage to meet their partner.

You did not wish to shorten this encounter - Too happy to find yourself in a room with two beautiful people you admired - so you fought against your shyness and your beating heart.

And finally, the hour which followed was amazing. You grew more comfortable, as the three of you seemed to connect on many points. Communicating felt natural, and you were surprised with how easy it actually felt, you who were so stressed before. You parted with a smile on your lips, but not before having decided to meet up somewhere else to finish this night's discussion.

You started to meet outside, every couple of days. You always had the best time together, and finally, the possibility of becoming a throuple was brought up. It felt natural when it was suggested, and it felt right and easy to agree, as if you were always meant to share love together, betwen the three of you.

And it was the best decision of your life, even if Mason and Alice being busy, meant you did not always see both of your partners for a while. There was weeks where you only got to spend time with Alice, or with Mason, because the other was travelling for work...

...but you always made sure to stay in touch thanks to technology.

And when you are reunited, it's always magical.

Mason and Alice have been together before meeting you, but they are careful to never make you feel like a third wheel. You are a part of this, and they both love you and show it to you.

Alice is more serious, responsible, almost cold and stern - outside, at least. In privacy, she can be very relaxed and silly too, but they need to feel safe and surrounded with her loved ones to show that side: It's a gift they do not offer to the outside world.

It may takes some explaining to do with the people around, and some may never get it, but dating them both is worth this struggle.

The cuddling days are the best! Being in the middle of two warm beautiful persons - which often ends up in tickles wars to decide which one of you will be the little spoon.

Your dynamic is wonderful: When one of you is feeling down, there's always two of you to cheer them up. And there's always new, thrilling, creative ideas for projects, pranks and activities together.

#mason alexander park #mason alexander park confession #mason alexander park imagine #alice kremelberg #headcanon #Anon 🍊 #Anon Orange

[powerful-niya]

I know you're a busy person, but I saw this on Twitter and I'd love to know your answers 🙈 also no pressure, take all the time you need ❤

Hello, @chloelapomme!! So incredibly sorry for the late reply! I was meaning to answer your ask sooner but I family matters came up following up with my new college classes for spring so my hands has been full.

But nevertheless, I was so happy to see your ask and the questions you sent me! I enjoy answering these! So thank you for the wonder ask! 💜

It's taken me a couple of days to finish these questions but at last, I have!

╔══•●•══╗

✎*ೃ˚ 1. Fics Completed This Year? ✎*ೃ˚

I've Completed two fics in 2022.

Heartaches and Heartbreaks - NHPrompts22

Mine (Naruhina Halloween Oneshot)

✎*ೃ˚ 2. Fics started this year? ✎*ೃ˚

I've started three fics in 2022.

Heartaches and Heartbreaks - NhPrompts22

Mine (Halloween Oneshot)

When Love Lasts - 2022 NH Month Event

✎*ೃ˚ 3. Drabbles written this year? ✎*ೃ˚

In 2022, I wrote a lot of drabbles. (I can't say an exact number, maybe 27 or 28, give or take)

Some of them are standalone drabbles, while others are the next parts of my ongoing stories The Unknown and Heated.

Some drabbles I've started I may not finish, I've decided.

Some drabbles are destined for upcoming stories. I won't talk too much about those though, hehe.

✎*ೃ˚ 4. Total Word Count for the Year? ✎*ೃ˚

Although I'm unsure of my exact word count, I'll just say it's wayyy more than 100,000. I've written a lot in 2022, and I'm sure it's more than 100k words—possibly even 200k or 300k, easily.

I just write so damn much. 🥴

✎*ೃ˚ 5. Longest Completed fic of the year? ✎*ೃ˚

Actually, I haven't finished any lengthy fanfics this year. Sadly. 😭😭

Hell, none of my main fics (Heated & The Unknown) are finished, and that's a bummer. However, I'm committed to completing The Unknown and Heated in 2023.

The only thing I completed in 2022 was the oneshot book - Heartaches and Heartbreaks which was a contribution to the NhPrompts22 event that was hosted by @tessdrawss back in March of 2022.

So for 2023, I'm really getting my butt in gear, haha. I want to finish a lot more stuff.

✎*ೃ˚ 6. Shortest completed fic of the year? ✎*ೃ˚

The shortest fic I finished in 2022 was a Naruhina Halloween special one-shot. The fanfic one-shot was named "Mine," and it was a horror fic that I had wanted to write for a long time.

I had the plot in my head all year in 2022 and really wanted to write it, so I decided to write it as a special during Halloween in 2022.

The one-shot was divided into three long portions, lol. In all honesty, I have no idea how to keep one-shots short. It’s a real struggle.

✎*ೃ˚ 7. Favorite fic to work on? ✎*ೃ˚

My favorite story to work on, eh? I suppose I should say "The Unknown." I've been working on that fanfiction for so long and it’s truly taken me on a wild writing journey. I have to be honest and say that I really love the horror, gore, and dark romance the fanfic possesses.

I really adore how I portrayed demon Naruto in the fic too. Idk, something is wrong with me, I know, lol. He's so freaking scary but hot at the same time. Idk, how I accomplished that.

I am definitely looking forward to writing the conclusion for what I have in mind. I am really awaiting the time I will be able to have time to sit down and really write this fic because I have so much planned for it, lol!

I've been just really busy. I am also easily distracted too!!

But in 2023, I'll be spending a lot of time working on this story and moving it to AO3. However, I had originally intended to alter this story greatly. I want to improve and tweak it.

The Unknown, though, has to be my current favorite of the several fan fictions I'm working on.

✎*ೃ˚ 8. Hardest fic to work on? ✎*ೃ˚

To be honest, the fanfic 'Heated' has been bothering me. I continually experience writer's block and I dread writing the fic. I'm also finding flaws in the fanfic.

Don't get me wrong, I adore the fan vs. idol trope that "Heated" creates, as well as the fact that Naruto is the leader of a popular band and Hinata’s the cutesy fangirl, but…I find myself continuously modifying stuff in the fic, and I dread writing it.

I'm not sure what my deal is.

But, despite my frequent setbacks, I expect to finish the fic in 2023, hopefully at the end of spring.

✎*ೃ˚ 9. Writing lessons you learned this year? ✎*ೃ˚

I've learned that forcing myself to write is never the solution. I discovered that the best moment to write is when I am inspired, as well as when I have planned exactly what I want to write ahead of time.

I believe that you should never force yourself to write or create any sort of piece.

A dear buddy once said that it takes time to create a masterpiece, so give it some time! Do not rush the process!

@sessakag I'm looking at you, haha! 💜👀💜

I also just have advice in general, advice that I have learned myself this year as well.

Never, ever allow someone to force you to do anything. Do it on your own terms, when you are no longer preoccupied with life's hassles. You'll have a lot more fun with the process.

Don’t force something to be, is what I am saying. Things will play out as they should.

In 2022, I had to remind myself several times that writing is a passion, not a job. Calm down, Niya, sheesh! Lol.

✎*ೃ˚ 10. Most Anticipated Wip for Next Year. ✎*ೃ˚

Without a doubt, it's The Good Old Days. I am really excited to bring the ACA characters and the plot back.

I am very excited to share the crazy narrative of (A Crazy Accident’s) Naruto's past with my readers. I've been dying to write this particular fanfic for such a long time, and I'm thrilled to announce that I'll be publishing this fanfiction in 2023!

It’s about time, right, lol!

╚══•●•══╝

I hope you enjoyed reading my responses to the wonderful questions at the top. I have a lot planned for 2023, and I'm excited to see what I come up with as a result.

In 2022, I have accomplished a lot but I plan to accomplish even more in 2023. 💪🏽

Once again, thank you for the ask Chloe! I hope you've had a wonderful Christmas and equally wonderful start of the New Year! 💜🤍

╚══•●•══╝

#ask me anything! #my ask box is open! #powerful_niya #2022 reflection #Writing exercise #Thanks Chloe! ❤️ #💌 - niya's asks ✨

[larrydoinglaundry]

2022 writing self-evaluation✍️

Thank you @greenblueish for tagging me 💜

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 4

2. Word count posted for the year: 189 907 (woah)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Larry

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: love is a word, you gave it a name

Bookmarks: love is a word, you gave it a name

Comments: love is a word, you gave it a name

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

I mean it has to be love is a word you gave it a name because that was a journey and somehow I finished it😭 and obviously because I took a biiig bite with that. The whole gender aspect, internalized homophobia, mental health issues, falling in love... there was a lot going on and three chapters in I wanted to give up so bad. But I didn't !

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

this does in no mean I am not proud of this work, I just wish I would have been able to write more for it. so it has to be I'm insatiable it's all your fault

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

I love every single comment on ao3, I am beyond grateful for every single person who reached out in dms on twitter, and everyone who keeps hyping my fic up.

I can't share a favorite, I have so many.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Chapter 3 in love is a word. It was constant writing, deleting, crying, writing, deleting, crying... 💀 there wasn't even anything particularly difficult to write in that chapter ! It just didn't seem to flow at all. I had never wanted to give up so bad.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Didn't really surprise me per se, but I finally dared to put cunningulus and vaginal sex in my abo 😂 I had been hesitant to be very descriptive about it before, being too worried it turns my readers off. But I loved every second of it ! Pussy, folds, lips... 🤭 and judging by the comments and kudos, people didn't hate it.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

"I won’t forget you. And that you were, will always be, my first love, and my baby. My sweetest dove," Louis murmurs, fingers softly digging onto Harry's jaw. With a soft smile, he whispers, "Will always be my bumblebee."

Harry should be able to say something equally sweet, something just as beautiful, but he can’t, because his brain is short circuiting, and his throat is burning again with the sobs that will probably never end.

Much to his relief, Louis sees it all, and chooses to kiss him to spare him from having to come up with something to say.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

hmmm. I think my general skills as a storyteller developed a lot. I feel like on some parts IIIAYF is written way better than LIAW. And while I haven't published my wip yet, I think for the most part it's a lot better than anything I put out this year.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope, again, that I could stop being so hard on myself but that will probably never happen.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@stylesthebrave my beloved, and everyone I met on twitter this year.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

hehehehe. Always. Yes. Something. One shall never know what.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Don't worry about cliches, stories that have already been written, authors that are getting more attention... The story that's planned in your head is unique, and no one else can write it the way you do. Your mind is beautiful.

And most importantly, your worth is not measured by statistics.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Finish the sequel to LIAW ! Hallelujah ! And starting my cliche fic heheh.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I feel like everyone has already done this so I don't know :(

#writer things #writing self evaluation 2022

[kainekron]

so i had this memory of brandon saying that dragonsteel is going to be in hoid's voice here are all

Questioner

On that note, the book that you were just talking about earlier I read that it was supposed to be Hoid’s origin story?

Brandon Sanderson

Yeah, it was Hoid’s origin story, yeah.  I will re-write it eventually. One of the problems with it, about halfway through I felt this should really have been a first person book all along and it wasn’t.  So that was part of the big reason it wasn’t working. It needs to be his voice telling a story as opposed to the way I was doing it and that is going to involve a major re-write. Phoenix Comicon 2013 (May 24, 2013)

flyleaffan

I was thinking about some assumptions I have made. Are you going to write Hoid's series in first person?

Brandon Sanderson

I have tried it both ways in test scenes, and am undecided, but leaning toward first person. General Twitter 2014 (Feb. 27, 2014)

Laser Wolf 214

When did the idea come for putting this novel in Hoid's voice in order to give it a more Goldman-esque feel? Was it a fairly easy decision? Or was it later on in the process?

Brandon Sanderson

It was an easy decision at the start, though I will say the seed is that I've been looking for ways to expand upon Hoid's voice. When I write Dragonsteel, which will be in his voice, it will not be like this, the tone will be very different. But I've wanted for a while to tell kind of a longer Hoid story. People often ask me, "Hey, can we get a full Wandersail told by Hoid of all of their adventures and what not?" This is a think that I knew people were interested in, and I was really interested in doing it, as well. I wanted to do something different with my prose in this book, in specific. I just felt that there was a place I could do a little leveling up in my prose, and using Hoid's voice as kind of an excuse to do that felt very good.

And The Princess Bride book is just delightful, right? If you haven't read Goldman's book, it's very good. To be honest, another person who has prose like this is J.K Rowling. The early Harry Potter books, in particular, have this same whimsical, fairy tale feel. And then, of course, you all know that my favorite author is Terry Pratchett, and he obviously had... He had a different voice from this, it's less of the fairy tale whimsy. It's just pure Pratchett; it's hard to describe. But I've always wanted to be able to practice something a little more edging toward that. So, watching The Princess Bride again and thinking "No, that's what I want to do; I want to do a voice like that. And I have the perfect person to be giving that voice."

If you go to my reading that I did at the most recent book launch, you'll hear me trying (and failing, in my opinion) to get Hoid's voice right. Kingmaker is an experiment in trying to see what I can do with Hoid's voice and how to do it correctly. And I actually started that after I finished Tress, because I wanted to find a voice for Hoid that I could edge a little away from the fairy tale. I want to use the fairy tale voice. I believe that someday I might write another one from this same voice. But I also wanted to have a voice for Hoid... He can tell different genres, right? He can tell different kinds of stories; they're all not gonna feel the same, and you see this in the books, right? The way he tells Wandersail is different from the way he tells The Dog and the Dragon. Those are two different kinds of stories. So, I tried writing Kingmaker, and I did not like how the voice went in that one. So I backed off on that, and I instead wrote Secret Project Two, which is a non-Cosmere one, just to kind of shake myself out of where I had been and do something very different. (Obviously not told by Hoid; it's not in the Cosmere.) You can see a kind of failed start in there, which is kind of fun. And there are some things I like about that piece that I read from Kingmaker that I like a lot.

Isaac Stewart

That's interesting to me, because of course, when you get to Dragonsteel and he's telling his own story, he's not going to tell it like a fairy tale. It's going to be something entirely different.

Brandon Sanderson

It's going to have a more Kingkiller-esque fell to it. I want to practice a bunch of different ways that Hoid could tell stories. Secret Project #1 Reveal and Livestream (March 8, 2022)

#hoid #dragonsteel #ssp1 #tress of the emerald sea #brandon sanderson #cosmere #dragonsteel prime

[mizakikimoto]

I really hate the Internet now, and don't know what to do about it.

Spoilers are constantly being posted everywhere for all sorts of stories, by "fans" and the companies themselves. People are fake as heck, and overuniform memes. There's always something with a million sound effects and quick cuts flashing in your face. There's always an ad being pushed in your face. Websites are basic, and aren't fun to go to anymore. There's a crap ton of censorship. Conversations are arguments now. AI is suggesting how people should finish their sentences, and people probably use the suggestions. The loudest voices are super privileged, and also caught up in this dumb liberal/conservative culture. Everything has to have a star rating or percent or count attached to it for its worth, and you can't even look that thing up without seeing that number. So much is about trying to work with an "algorithm". So much is pushed by it. Et cetera. I can't even watch a YouTube video without suggestions, comments in my peripheral vision.

It's like computers are programming humanity, and we wrote the program. We created this thing to ruin us.

This used to be a sincere, global portal to interact with the world. It used to be full of us. The best of us. Now...it's just a mess.

I just had a part of X-Men 97 spoiled by an artist I followed onlined. I blocked him. He did it so casually.

I remember when I was 18 I was able to experience Watchmen fresh, the movie and comic. No reviews, ratings, images. Not really. I had to seek out spoilers, opinions, dissection. I had the option of not seeing those things.

When the Watchmen TV show came out someone at Collider, I think, ruined a big part. People came after him. He said like "The episode came out days ago. It's your fault if you haven't seen it." I've had that said to me when someone posted a spoiler to Guardians of The Galaxy (the movie) on Tumblr years ago.

But then days, weeks ago an official DC page posted a spoiler about the same thing. Casually. In the name of "engagement", "content".

Nothing has any value. It's just digital noise. Quick consumption and throw away. Nothing settles, sits, affects, changes a person's life.

My plan was to rewatch the old X-Men cartoon, and the rest of the other 90's Marvel cartoons. Then get to X-Men 97 on my own time.

Ever since I started living in Chicago full-time 24 years ago...it's been hell to try to do anything. An extreme. Something a lot of people will never deal with. But shouldn't I be able to experience things on my own time? Shouldn't I have a choice? Why is it forced on me now? Can't I open a book by choice? Why are the pages forced on my eyes now?

And if I avoid the Internet altogether I can't learn about new stuff. I'm out of the loop, as people say.

But the Internet used to be limited, with who used it. It's terrible to say, but it really did get ruined when "everyone" started using it, and bringing thier BS here.

That earlier group of people online were so much better. Very specific.

I don't know what I'm saying.

Y'know...if I could get back to what was stolen from me years ago, I wouldn't have to be online so much. But still...

I don't have Threads or Twitter installed.

I want to get off of this thing. I need to. It didn't used to be this way.

-Chris

#Chicago #Walkman #Music