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#i won't say I'm sorry for my discord
lucyvaleheart · 2 months
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birdmenmanga · 1 year
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One of the many things I really admire about you is how you DO things. You want to make a comic, you do it. You want to make an edit, you go and do it. You wanna do gifs, you figure out how to do it. You're constantly setting a goal and seeing it through and learning and growing as you go. And I admire that so so much because that's honestly not easy (at least it isn't for me). And I just wanted to let you know that
WOW I’ve never received an ask that made me pace around the room so much!! Thank you for telling me!! Forgive me for rambling in this response but I want to talk about the creation process a little bit— at least how I personally experience it.
Every project, no matter how large or small, is largely a fight between vision and pain. If my vision beats out my pain, I finish the project; if the pain becomes too unbearable, I hit the bricks (willingly or not).
Pain can mean a lot of things. It can mean frustration and dissatisfaction with your work in progress— a lack of technical skill that you can visibly see. It can mean the fear of ruining your vision by putting it down on paper. It can be the feeling that what you’re doing doesn’t matter. And in the context of this ask especially, it can be running headlong into wall after wall while learning how to use a new software.
I suck at learning new software. The learning curve for me is often so steep it feels untenable at times. Why can’t I do the simplest things? Why can’t anyone teach it to me in a way I can understand? I don’t even know if this YouTube video will teach me what I want to learn. And you’re saying I’ve got to watch 20 minutes of it to even see if it’s what I’m looking for?
I need you to know that for everything even remotely complete, even if it’s a work in progress, is built on a mountain of failures, of incomplete works, of past trials and tribulations. What I have of the music video for the SCP antimemetics division, built painstakingly in one of the most inaccessible and unfriendly video editing softwares, AVIUtl, dragged itself out of earthen trenches so that my music video for Pathologic could crawl pathetically. And that paved the way for the bits and pieces of the Kekkaishi music video, which walked so that the things I do for BIRDMEN could run.
I don’t think it’s really as simple as saying, “You want to make a comic, you do it.”
I think if I had never done any comics before in my life, I’d be so fucking frustrated with the process. But because I’ve been drawing comics since middle school, because I drew things and gave up and drew more things and gave up more, I was able to learn the language of comics by the time I entered high school, and by the time I entered college I had fought tooth and nail to learn how to use digital art softwares (I sulked a lot about this. I hated that everything I learned about making manga traditionally became essentially obsolete. I sulked soooo much about it it was unreal. don’t be like me).
That’s why I could finally, at that point, after almost 6 or 7 years of drawing, finally finish a 16-page oneshot for the first time in my life. Because I had hundreds and hundreds of pages of shitty pencil sketches of catgirls and schoolboys and what have yous. And knowing I could do that let me push myself further. I said to myself, I bet I could draw a story longer than 16 pages. I bet I could draw a story that’s 100. And I did. I had to sacrifice vision so I wouldn’t encounter so much pain, but I did it. And that’s why I think I can draw 600 pages now. Because it doesn’t hurt so much anymore, these days.
That’s not to say that drawing comics for me is an entirely painless process. It just means that the only thing I’m fighting is my self-esteem and perfectionism for the most part. I think my technical skills won’t fail me, not for panelling, not for compositions, not for art. It’s all about convincing myself that what I’m doing is worth it. Not the easiest, but certainly much less painful than having to fight that PLUS technical woes.
I think I understand what you’re going through, just a little bit. Maybe you don’t experience things exactly as I do, but I think you’re going through a lot of pain right now. That you have a vision, but you have trouble carrying out, whether it’s because of technical issues, unfamiliarity with the medium, a fear of beginning something you won’t end up finishing, or something else entirely. I don’t have too much sage advice for what to do here, but I want to assure you that what I do isn’t nearly as effortless as you might perceive it to be.
I want to take this chance and say to you that just from looking through your archives I can see that you’ve improved so so so much over the years. You draw often, you do lots of character design work, you’ve got a lovely and distinctive style. I know you mentioned one time that you wanted to draw a webcomic— and I say do it! Just dive into it.
The reason it took me so long to get to my level of competence in comics is because I had to reverse engineer a lot of shit. I used to draw things panel by panel, until I wanted a 2-page spread and realized, “Shit! I have to plan and pace out my story so that everything before the 2-page spread comes to a neat end on the left-hand page!” I used to freehand dialogue until I grew so frustrated with the fact that conversations seemed to constantly go off the rails that I realized, “Yikes, I gotta script this out beforehand...”
And so on and so forth. And maybe you’ll feel like you’ve wasted time and love on something that isn’t good, but just DOING things will teach you so, so much. It’s okay if what you make is bad. You can always start over, do it better this time.
This offer goes out to you, but really it goes out to any of my mutuals— if you ever want to talk about making stuff, whether it’s illustrations or writing or storyboarding, I’m always down. Whether you want technical advice or simple encouragement, feel free to reach out to me. I love seeing what other people are doing, and I know it’s really frustrating and scary to feel out a path by yourself when you feel like you don’t really know what you’re doing.
Art is so scary. It’s so painful. But even so, we can’t help but want to carry through with it, right?
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pierswife · 10 months
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If you saw any of earlier, I'm feeling better now. At least a little bit. I did the fight overstimulation with even more overstimulation and it kinda worked lmao
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white-nolse · 1 year
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Mood of the day
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wolfsbane-if · 2 years
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"#also it's kinda wild to me to hear that people like Wolfsbane enough to just... talk about it with other people they know??" This is probably a good moment to reveal that you have a fanbase on discord who can't believe you've been getting slack for writing what is an entirely unproblematic and mildly dark supernatural story 🤣
That's even more wild! 0:
I'm sure there's probably a lot of overlap between the people active over there and the people who have reached out here, but to anyone who might be active on Discord alone, hello and thank you for reading! I appreciate your support and I hope you enjoyed the update~
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katamarei · 10 months
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I'm so paranoid that I'll clench my jaw too hard and accidentally remove/crack/etc my temporary filling for absolutely no reason. it literally can't happen it's sunk in pretty well, I've pulled my lip back and my top tooth barely even touches it like girl. relax.
idk why I'm like this!! it's not even the actual dental work that bothers me it's just all the taking care of it after where I'm just AAAA it feels like so much can go wrong!!
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bomberqueen17 · 1 year
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tone indicators
I reblogged this post without adding any commentary bc queue and not a lot of computer time lately but like okay here's the thing about tone indicators:
they're yet another in-group set of coded speech. like an inside joke, or a meme, or a conlang. if you are in a group that uses them, they're great and perfectly comprehensible.
but if you don't happen to have come from inside a group that uses them, they are exactly as exclusionary as any other heavy jargon or inside joke or acronym. I mean have you ever listened to soldiers talk? The US Army communicates in heavily jargon-ified speech, liberally laden with acronyms, so much so that it's a self-referential joke to make up obscene or deliberately-obfuscated ones to slip into official reports since the sorts of people who'd kick up a fuss about obscene language won't understand them.
It is exactly the same thing. Except that's exclusionary on purpose, and tone indicators are exclusionary in effect but tout themselves as inclusionary.
So if I, an outsider to this, am reading along, and after a sentence, there's a / and then between one and three letters, that is not enough information for me to use to look it up.
This is absolutely inaccessible if you are not alreadhy in the group that uses it.
I wouldn't mind if the people who used them were just like 'oh ha sorry jargon, i'll try to explain if it's not clear, sorry i forget you guys don't know them' just like any other inside joke or meme or whatever.
But I was in a discussion with someone on a Discord and when I was puzzled about them including these weird slash-acronyms after their statements they were like oh how nice for you that you're not neurodivergent and don't need to use these.
Uh no. The opposite actually. I'm the kind of neurodivergent that needs context. I handle being excluded from conversations very poorly. And that's where I get pissed off, that people seem to be holding these up as the new be-all end-all of Finally Solving The Problem Of Ambiguous Tones In Social Interaction. The hell you are, kids. They're just another layer, and I'd say the worst one yet, out of many many many attempts to solve this exact problem. They are fundamentally inaccessible. Don't mistake the fact that you learned them (somewhere, in some context inaccessible to me) for them actually being universal.
Considered against the many different solutions that have been offered since text-only speech was invented, tone indicators stack up as among the very least-accessible of the lot, since they contain so little context in and of themselves-- if a key is not provided then they're totally inaccessible, and are exceptionally difficult for non-native English speakers, and in general require so much memorization or cross-referencing as to be prohibitively hostile to outsiders.
And that's fine, if what your'e doing is just meant for talking to your friends. But don't come into my conversations and berate me for not having memorized whatever incomprehensible set of acronyms you've newly-decided are the new universal truth. And what drives me the most insane is how many of these acronyms someone has now decided to assign a whole new meaning to are acronyms that are well-known and already existed and are in heavy use. So if you try to look them up guess what you get! is it gonna be the newly-created version or the one that's been in use for fifty to seventy-five years??
For one, P.O.S. has had a specific meaning in written and spoken English for a really damn long time and if you call me a piece of shit in the actual language I speak I am absolutely not going to interpret your conlang as having intended something nice. (YES REALLY THEY'RE USING THAT ONE TRY TO GUESS WHAT IT MEANS. NO. NO! I know. Fuck! That's wild. Absolutely the fuck not.)
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demilypyro · 7 months
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Hey I thought I should elaborate on what's going on and what I'll be doing with this blog.
First of all, I'm not deactivating it, I'll still be posting things like what I'm doing in games, reblogging things, and of course stuff that's relevant to my streams. I just won't be posting anything overtly personal anymore.
While people have often told me that they appreciate getting to hear my personal trans experience, in recent years there's just been this constant pattern of people assuming bad faith on anything I say or do, that it's all a sign that I'm secretly evil, and it's been seriously impacting my mental health and my ability to even get out of bed. It's been making me feel persecuted in both cisnormative society and the trans community, and it's not sustainable. I've been having panic attacks. It's bad.
I've tried blocking people, I've been seeing a therapist, I've done everything I think I can do. I've considered just quitting my job entirely but that's not an option, since given my disabilities I have no other work opportunities. I'd be out on the street in weeks. So this is my solution.
I've made a new personal account, one that I won't be sharing here. I think I'll enjoy using this site without people watching me like a hawk. That's not to say this account will be inactive. Expect stream links, game screenshots, fanart reblogs, stream clips, media recommendations, some ask answers, the occasional selfie, things like that. I'm sorry I had to take this measure, but my mental health has been at a breaking point for a while now. I hope people will still be willing to support my content even without that personal perspective on my life.
If you want to stay updated on my content and maybe join me when I play games, you can always follow me on Twitch and join my Discord server.
https://twitch.tv/demilypyro
https://discord.com/invite/uR5GGeaXVy
Thanks for understanding.
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haystarlight · 4 months
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What if mlp characters had Tumblr
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🌟 smartypants Follow
I have a princess conference in the morning but that won't stop me from staying up till 3 am on AO3. Mama needs her bedtime stories
🐉 ogres&oubliettesenthusiast Follow
OP go to sleep or I will eat your crown
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🎈 smilesmilesmile Follow
All of you are like "would you fuck your clone?" hypothetically but, in practice, clones are too dumb to give consent and that's the real reason why I didn't sleep with any of my clones when I had the chance
🎈 totally-not-a-clone Follow
OP you still have a chance
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✨ great&powerful Follow
It's always "take off the evil amulet! it's corrupting your mind!" and never "oh! you look so pretty in your new amulet!"
✨ great&powerful Follow
Celestia forbid ladies do anything
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😏 sexiestvillaintournament Follow
🦋 Id-like-to-be-a-tree Follow
Um, would you guys please stop voting for my boyfriend?
🌪️ whatfunisthereinmakingsense Follow
I take it as a compliment
🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow
I am offended
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🍎 cmc-omc Follow
Y'all know how some families got a gay cousin and all 'em other cousins are straight? Well mah family's the opposite. Ah don't even think we got a straight cousin!
🍎 cmc-omc Follow
Mah sister says we have to assimilate other ponies into our family so the family name don't die out. She would do numbers here
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🌈 20%cooler Follow
GUYS I'M SO SORRY FOR THE DELAYS
I've just been on the hospital (again) cause I got zapped by lightning (again)
But I promise I'll update my Daring Do/Reader fic as soon as I can! Thanks for the patience, love you guys!
🌟 smartypants Follow
It's okay, take your time! I'll just reread the old chapters in the meantime
🐉 ogre&oubliettesenthusiast Follow
NO!!! YOU WILL GO TO SLEEP!!!
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💎 chicunique&maginifique Follow
"how are you so good at fashion" well you'd be an expert in fashion too if you'd spent 20 years in the closet
🔔 professional-theatre-filly Follow
My sister in Celestia that closet was made of glass
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🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow
Nothing like coming back from exhile just to find your bedroom was replaced by a whole ass forest
Some people have no respect for others belongings
☀️ cake.by.the.ocean Follow
I don't control the growing of the magical forest, bitch
🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow
Rude
☀️ cake.by.the.ocean Follow
Don't think I forgot about that time in 500 B.E. that you stole my ice cream
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🛴 the-agender-acrobat Follow
You can't hurt me I have mommy AND daddy issues I'm unstoppable
🌈 20%cooler Follow
OP do you need me to adopt you
🛴 the-agender-acrobat Follow
I would love that actually
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💎 chicunique&magnifique Follow
*levitates my cat out of the way so I can use the sewing machine, which I need for my job*
my cat: YOU LIFT OPALESCENCE?!?!???! YOU LIFT HER WITH YOUR WICKED SORCERY?!??!!!! YOU ASSERT CONTROL OVER HER WITH YOUR MAGIC?!?!??! OHHHHH!!! MOTHER IS EVIL!!!!!
🔔 professional-theatre-filly Follow
I agree with the cat
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🥕 Carrot-TOPING Follow
Girlfriend is out of town all week so I'm gonna dye my mane and tail green
💎 chicunique&magnifique Follow
WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING
🥕 Carrot-TOPING Follow
She's all my self control
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🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow
Back in my day we tagged our fanfiction properly. There's a difference between / and & you rufians
☀️ cake.by.the.ocean Follow
Shut up old lady
🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow
YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME
30,150 notes
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🩵 girlboss Follow
Sure, sex is great but does *your* husband help you check all your shipping fanfiction for grammar errors? Didn't think so
💎 chicunique&magnifique Follow
She's everything, he's just Ken
🛡️ malewife Follow
Happy to be of service 🫡
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matrixbearer2024 · 3 months
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Paws and Pixels: VoxPet™️
Tiny!Vox x Reader
A/N: Totally writing this thing because of a cute chat session I had with some wonderful people on a Hazbin discord server, it's a shitposty idea but it was a cute one so I couldn't help but write about it. A continuation to "Get off my Screen!" is in the works alongside some other requests too! I'm just glad it was received so well, thanks y'all!
A/N: Btw, the chibi Vox art isn't mine. I might draw something similar with a Y/N eventually though so message me or request it in my askbox if you wanna see it XD
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You wished you could say it was a normal day.
But truth be told-
It was so far off from that.
The Vee tower was complete mess by the time you had arrived.
The place was often busy, you knew that much-
But to fall into complete disarray?
Your beloved would have never even allowed it.
Speaking of your lover, where the hell was he?
His absence left you more than puzzled, this was Vox you were talking about after all.
Mr. I-have-to-keep-an-eye-on-everything-or-it-all-entirely-goes-to-shit-
You couldn't say he was wrong this time however, walking towards the elevator with intent to find the other Vees.
But of course they ended up finding you first.
It was Velvette who abruptly dragged you away from the chaos in the office.
Not that you still quite understood what was going on and the reason for her urgency.
"WhaA- Vel??"
"Sorry darling, we've got a bit of an issue as you can clearly tell- but there's just something I absolutely must show you."
You didn't really even have time to ask questions before you saw Valentino rush past you.
Was he holding a phone in each hand?
He barely even greeted you in his hasty exit, probably too busy with the 4 phone conversations he was having simultaneously.
All this chaos and your boyfriend still hasn't shown up.
You started getting worried that something happened to him.
But what Velvette ended up showing you was definitely not at all what you expected.
Especially since you didn't expect to find Vox here of all places.
That and... he wasn't quite himself.
Not that you were complaining, but it was really weird seeing your boyfriend so tiny.
He was probably plushie-sized to be honest.
You would have found it cute if it weren't for the shock from everything else.
The tiny Vox visibly perked up when he saw you.
Was he beeping or squeaking?
"What... what the fuck even happened???"
"Do you want the whole story or a TLDR?"
While you lightly poked the smaller Vox that stood atop the table, Velvette quickly updated you on what had transpired before your arrival.
Apparently, Vox had gone and gotten himself in trouble with some goons earlier in the day.
It wasn't often Vox would get hurt by anything, he was an overlord after all-
But sometimes people got lucky or they really just ganged up on him in big numbers.
The good news was he won, the bad news was he'd gotten pretty beat up because of it.
Shattered screen, fried motherboard, stray wires, and a whole other myriad of issues to boot.
He'd come back to the tower needing a ton of repairs.
Problem was, he'd run out of the needed spare parts and his backup body wasn't in any good condition to be used either.
So go figure, your creative boyfriend decided to handle his situation in another way after he'd put in the order for said needed parts.
They'd probably arrive in just a few days but seriously-
You could only stare at the tiny version of your lover in bewilderment.
There was absolutely no understanding of what was running through this man's brain.
He was even wearing a miniature version of his typical outfit, coat and all!
"Soooo... has he just been in here the whole time?"
"Pretty much. He doesn't really talk either, Val and I haven't figured out if it's because he can't or won't."
"Oh lord."
You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, patting the tiny Vox with your hands.
You honestly wanted to be more mad at the situation-
But Vox really just looked too cute.
You just wanted to freakin squeeze him-
"I'm gonna need a purse to carry him around..."
"Oh wow, you're treatin' 'im like a pet already."
You rolled your eyes at Velvette's comment, looking down at your currently tiny boyfriend to find him staring at you.
He had absolutely no business being this cute-
"I'm taking him home, I'd gather that you and Val can handle things here?"
"For the most part, just be a dear and make sure nothing else happens to 'im until his parts arrive."
You just rolled your eyes again.
Great way of stating the obvious Velvette.
Besides, Vox was still an overlord and the strongest of the Vees.
His powers shouldn't have been affected in this form right??
There was no way your beloved went ahead and made himself as harmless as he looked-
At least that's what you had hoped.
However, you picked him up in both hands- you were starting to doubt that.
Vox merely tilted his monitor head to get a better look at you before beeping, his legs dangled slightly from how you held him.
BEEPING AGAIN.
WHERE ARE YOUR WORDS FOOL-
"Huh, he's never made that sound before."
You were really starting to regret even walking into the building today.
And that was of course when your miniature boyfriend decided it was the perfect time to lightly zap you.
It didn't hurt, but it was enough for your attention to go back to him.
Only to see his face all pink with a bunch of hearts emoticons on it.
This little shit-
You really couldn't stay mad at him for long.
Eventually when you were able to get a grip on yourself, Velvette handed you a purse to put Vox in as requested- and you were on your way home.
What did the other Vees even expect you to do with Vox like this?
Did you accidentally become your boyfriend's babysitter??
Today was just way too tiring for you already.
You practically collapsed on the couch once you got home.
Dropping the purse with tiny lover in it on one of the nearby cushions, you didn't really care about the annoyed squeaking that came from inside the bag from the rough landing.
Vox just crawled out of the small purse with a huff.
He figured you would've liked him being all cute this way.
But judging by your reactions-
He couldn't tell if you liked it or hated it.
He did feel slightly bad seeing how tired you were though.
Practically waddling over towards you, Vox patted your head trying to get your attention.
When that didn't work he started beeping and squeaking until you raised your head and looked at him again.
And you were surprised when he awkwardly moved to hug you.
Well, hug your face rather.
The words: "I'm sorry." flashing on his tiny screen.
You sighed tiredly.
Even if he was a little infuriating at times, you still loved Vox's antics.
This one included.
"It's okay, I'm okay. Everything just happened way too fast."
A heart then appeared on his tiny screen face and you pretty much melted.
He was just too fuckin cute.
A/N: Might write a part 2 for this with other headcanons, this was so friggin adorable AHAHAHAHAHA
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Dirty Work 36
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Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.
Characters: Loki
Note: we made it to friday so yall can eat up.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
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You hold back another yawn, your cheeks puffing out as you flutter your lashes. Odin tilts his head as he props his chin into his hand. He grins, "I've worn you out."
"No, I..." you try to roll the fatigue off your shoulders, "I'm okay."
"Don't trouble yourself," he stands, "dear, you go get some sleep. I've kept you a while."
You rise hesitantly as he comes around the desk, "I don't mind."
"Oh, you say that a lot, perhaps you should mind," he turns you to the door with hand on your back, "it isn't so bad to say what you want. Or don't want."
"I wasn't..."
"I am not reprimanding you. I am giving you advice," he opens the door, "but I expect no one's ever listened when you did say so."
You look down meekly and shrug, "well, I could... speak up."
"And you blame yourself," he says, "you deserve kindness. Especially from you." He rubs your back and nudges you ahead, "go on, I won't keep you any longer."
"Thank you, Odin," you smile, almost teary-eyed. You're just tired.
"Good night, dear," he says as you step into the hallway.
You turn back to return the nicety. He leans on the door as he eases it towards the frame, pausing before he closes it fully, "should you fancy another chocolate, you know where to find them."
You thank him again and he shuts the door. You turn down the hallway and stop short. You're not alone. Mr. Laufeyson has a hand on the doors to your room as he leans on one foot, a toe dug into the rug as he narrows his sights at you.
"There you are," he greets curtly.
"Mr. Laufeyson," you scurry forward, "I'm sorry, I was only--"
"With my father, yes, I can hear," he interjects, "you sound like you get along."
"I... I think so. He was very nice."
"Was he?" He scoffs and twists a door handle, swinging the door open, "get inside."
You bow your head and swiftly enter. He follows, the lock clicking loudly behind you. You turn and hug yourself as you watch him pace before the doors.
"He invited me-- I didn't--"
"Yes, yes, my father is demanding, don't I know it," he snips, "you think I am unhappy because of that?"
"I don't... I don't know, Mr. Laufeyson," you murmur.
"I am not unhappy," he insists as he stops, jabbing a finger upwards, "I was only waiting a rather long time for you to appear."
"I'm sorry," you repeat.
"My room is the next, to the right as you emerge," he explains, "so it isn't very far." He shrugs and tucks his hands into his pockets. You notice his shoulders, how he holds them rigidly. He's tense. "Did you encounter anyone else, then? My brother?"
"No," you shake your head vehemently, "only Odin. Your father, sir."
"Hm, fortunate," he remarks, "I shouldn't have left you but I thought my mother would keep a close eye."
"She did, I only... was tired and came up here."
"Tired," he nods, "certainly, me too."
You stand in silence. His tone softens with his last words, as if you can hear the weariness in him. You can see it in his eyes. After all, he did drive for hours.
He exhales and strolls forward. You move aside as he nears the foot of the bed and sits. He leans his head back and closes his eyes. He runs his hands over his face and groans.
He leans forward and rests his elbows on his legs. He slumps there, silently glaring at the floor. If something is wrong, he refuses to say it. Maybe it's this place. You know well how home can fill you with dread.
You move slowly around, hesitant and unsure. You near the side of the bed. He doesn't flinch as your weight dips into the mattress. You don't know what you're doing, you're not sure if you should.
You walk on your knees across the bed and place your hands on his shoulders. You feel the tension wrought in him. You squeeze and knead, uncertain. You never done this before.
He sits up but you keep your hands on him.
"What are you doing?" He growls as he cranes his head.
"You uh... a... massage?" You offer dumbly, "you were in the car all day and... I thought."
"Mmm," he turns forward again, letting his elbows once more rest on his thighs, "you may go on.”
You shift, trying to get a better hold on him. You feel the tightness nestling in the muscles along his neck. You follow the natural grooves of his muscles with your fingertips, encouraged only by his groans 
“Pet…” his voice is as weak as you've ever heard it.
You let up, tickling down so he shivers, then quickly work the knots again. The busy work of your hands keep your nerves from boiling over. He puffs out and lifts his head, pushing it back.
“Where has this come from?” He asks in a wisp.
“I… don't know,” you answer honestly.
He straightens and picks at his collar. He unbuttons his shirt and sheds it as you withdraw your touch. He reveals his bare skin and jostles on the mattress, planting himself firmly.
You touch him again. His warmth seeps into you as goosebumps prickle his skin. The tender calm of the moment has you speechless.
“Yesss,” he purrs, once more bowing his head. “Pet…” he grips his thighs.
You run your fingertips further down his back and drive your thumbs into the muscles along his sides. He growls and you ease up, scared you might have hurt him. He reaches back, pointing over his shoulder.
“Like that,” he directs, “I can take it.”
You obey. You aren't used to be so rough. Everything you do is with a degree of fear. Your hands are never forceful or firm.
He sighs and snarls. You drag your hands up and back down again. He shivers again and stands suddenly, frightening you. You sit back on your heels and stare at him.
“Did I…”
“You,” he wiggles a finger at you.
“What?”
He shakes his head and steps towards the bed. He beckons you closer. You inch forward on your knees. He grabs your blouse, quickly pulling it out of your skirt. He peels it up and you barely get your arms up before they're tangled in the fabric.
He strips away the fabric and snakes his arms around you to unhook your bra. You kneel before him paralysed as he undresses you to the waist. His eyes are smoky as he takes you in.
“Down,” he points to the mattress, “on your stomach.”
You lower yourself down as you slide back. You bend your arms up around your head and put your cheek to the blanket. He skirts around and climbs over the side, straddling you beneath him. He rests his knuckles between your shoulder blades as you curl your fingertips against the covers.
He pushes down into the muscles and you squeak. He leans his weight into his tending, tracing his thumbs down your flesh. You gasp as you feel tension slake from your muscles, tightness you never even noticed.
His long fingers explore your naked back, framing your hips as he kneads. You mewl, unable to stem the release as it rolls from your throat. He snickers and keeps his hands working.
You close your eyes, melting under his touch. He is much better than you, more confident. He must have done this before, maybe with his wife. Maybe it was even romantic, with candles and rose petals. 
He tickles along your sides and sets his hands on the mattress. He lowers himself over you and presses against your bottom, chafing the raw skin beneath your skirt. You moan as his hard length rest firmly against you.
He brings a hand under your chin, lifting your head as he keeps it twisted. He angles to press his lips to yours. He kisses you sloppily as his other arm hooks beneath you. He gropes your bare chest, his thumb flicking over your budded nipple.
“Pet,” he parts with a groan before once more devouring you.
He rocks atop you as his breath hitches. Your heart beats wildly as you brace the bed, arching awkwardly to meet his hungry kisses. His lips trails along your cheek and down the side of your neck. He nuzzles your neck and bites into the muscles along your shoulder. You cry out at the pinch.
“I could have you just like this,” he breathes against your skin, his hips still tilting. “Is that what you want, hm? Is that your trick, pet?”
“Trick?” You eke out, “what do you–”
He lifts himself and flips you over harshly. You bounce on your back and yipe. He grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head.
“You’re trying to distract me,” he accuses, “what did you and my father speak of, him?”
His muscles pull taught under his skin straining in his chest as he leans over you. You whimper and squirm, kicking your feet as his grip aches in your wrists. What have you done?
“Mr. Laufeyson, please, I wasn’t… we didn’t…”
“Tell me,” he demands.
You bat your lashes, “he… he gave me some chocolate.”
“Chocolate?” He echoes derisively.
“Yeah…” you croak, “he… he asked me what music I like. And if I read–” your voice crackles.
“And what did he say of me?” He hisses.
“N-nothing,” you sniff, “I swear.”
“And what did you say of me?”
“Nothing,” you repeat. “Please.”
He narrows his eyes and curls his lips, “hm, I believe you. You’re not clever enough to lie that well.”
He lets you go and sits up on his knees. He looks down on you, his eyes slowly trailing down to your exposed chest. You lay, paralysed and prone. A knock comes at the door, jolting both of you.
“Darling,” Frigga’s voice wafts through, “is everything alright?”
Your eyes round as Laufeyson scowls. He shakes his head and huffs, pushing off of you. He climbs off the bed and swipes up your blouse, tossing it at you.
“Get rid of her,” he hisses.
You grab the shirt and throw it over your head. You stand as he retreats into the bathroom, closing the door only halfway. You go to the door as you tug the blouse straight.
“Everything’s alright,” you say through the wood.
“Are you sure, dear?” She tries the handle.
You peek back and gulp. You flip back the lock and push down on the handle, inching back the door until you can see through, “yeah, I was getting changed and… I couldn’t find something. Think I forgot it.”
“Oh, well, if you need, you can always borrow from me,” she offers.
“Nothing important,” you insist, “thanks. I’m just about to lay down.”
“Of course, honey, so sorry to disturb.”
“No worries,” you smile and gently shut the door. Your hand lingers and you gently turn the lock back into place.
“Perhaps I was mistaken,” Laufeyson emerges, “that was rather convincing.”
“Mr. Laufeyson,” you murmur, “I wouldn’t lie to you–”
“Certainly you wouldn’t,” he sneers.
You flutter your fingers at your side and teeter on your toes. He goes back to the bed as he undoes his fly. You furrow your brow and stare past him at the wall. What is he doing?
He drops his pants and kicks them away, “well, undress.”
Your heart leaps and thumps violently. Your hands tremble as you lift the blouse again. You let it drift to the floor and touch the top of your skirt. Is he… going to do it? Are you? Both of you?
You look down, opening and closing your mouth as your jaw threatens to lock up. Your ears feel ready to pop. You feel along your skirt and unzip the back. It slackens and you wiggle free of the fabric. You roll down your panties and watch them fall to your ankles. You step out of the fabric, only in your stockings as the bed frame softly creaks.
You dip a finger under the top of your thigh-highs and Laufeyson growls. You peek up, frozen, and find him watching you. He’s completely naked, his hand around his dick as he tilts his head.
“Keep those on,” he commands, “come here.”
You stand straight and pad towards him. You reach forward tentatively and climb up onto the bed. He gestures you closer and you stretch out next to him. He curls an arm around you and settles you in.
He drags his hand from his arousal and trails over your thigh, along your hip, and up your side. You quiver as he cups your chest and leans in to kiss you. He fondles you, tweaking and squeezing, groaning into your mouth as his tongue delves further.
He draws a line up your chest and across your shoulder. He brushes down your arm and takes your hand. He pulls it toward him and circles it around his length. He snarls as he squeezes your grasp tight on him, guiding it up then down. As he lets go, you continue to pump him.
He continues to smother you as his fingers tickle the vee of your pelvis. He dips down and touches the patch of hair there. He urges his fingers between your folds, sliding along the slickness gathering there. You squeak as he plays with you.
You work your hand in tandem with him. You match his rhythm as he toys with you, swirling then pushing his fingers back, only to spread your wetness around. Each time his fingers poke back, he gets closer to your entrance.
You lift your leg, opening yourself to him as a storm brews in you. You shudder as you grip him tighter. He groans again, the rocky noise sending a thrill through you. He rubs you fast and glides back again. He pokes against you, bending his fingers and dips a fingertip into you.
You gasp and pull away from his mouth. He catches the back of your head in his hand and eases you down to your back. He stays close, leaning over you, as slips his finger in deeper. You whine and he hushes you.
“Pet, relax,” he coos, pulling his finger in and out. Your bite down on your lip, your hand still as the shock of his intrusion stuns you. “Does that feel nice?”
You can’t speak. You don’t know. It feels… different. Tingly and hot but cold at the same time. He presses the heel of his hand against you, pressure flurrying beneath his touch. He rocks his hand as you splay, your grasp slipping from him and circling around his wrist.
“Pet…” he presses his nose to your temple, breathing down your cheek, “don’t tell me you’re going to cum?”
You whimper and curl your fingers tighter. He shakes his hand and you sink into the mattress. Breath mewls escape your lips.
“Tell me then,” he slithers, “tell me when you cum.”
Your eyes roll back and your head lolls. You puff out through a pout. Your chest thrums and your core swells. You feel the peak ahead, just within reach. Your thighs clench and tremble, the muscles uncoiling all at once as you cry out.
“Tell me…” he growls.
You choke as you spasm, “cum– I’m— cumming.”
“Yes,” he coaxes as he fucks you with his finger, “yes, pet, say it.”
“Cumminggggg,” your voice unravels, “oh–”
“Say it, say my name,” he growls.
“Mr.--”
“Loki,” he demands, “say it…”
“Loki!” you whine, “Lo-ki…”
“Mmm, yes, what a good little pet,” he drags his nose around your cheek, “my pet, yes? All mine.’
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AITA for continuing to use a word my friend told me not to use?
I, 18F, am in a discord server with some friends for an anime. Nia (18F) joined more recently, I'd say she was in the server for about 3 weeks before she came to complain about something.
In the "questions-and-answers" channel Nia asked something no one expected: I'll do script format for this
Nia: Hi. @/mods and @/everyone. Are any of you black?
Flora (one of the mods): no. Why do you ask?
Nia: Because you guys have a channel called "simp-corner"
Flora: I don't understand why that matters.
Nia: Simp is a word from AAVE, so it is cultural appropriation for you to be using it. Stop using it if you aren't black.
Me: It is just a word. Why does it matter so much?
Nia: You're all appropriating black culture. Stop stealing from us.
Flora: I'm sorry, but we won't be changing it and will still allow people to use it here.
Nia: Y'all are a bunch of racist thieves. A black person tells you not to use something from their culture and you shrug them off? You all suck.
Yuna (19F, a different mod): Alright. We will stop using it. I changed the rules so that you can't use the word if you aren't black. I am black myself, so it is fine for me to make this change.
So it had been set in as a rule that anyone who wasn't black couldn't use the word "simp" in the server and were barred from using the "simp-corner" channel. But it wasn't like anyone could verify if someone was actually black or not, so I continued using it anyways. I was only "caught" after sending a pic of a cosplay I had done with my face blurred.
Nia got angry and started ranting that a non-black person shouldn't be using the word and that I was being an asshole for pretending to be black in order to use it. I disagreed saying that I never told her I would verify my race and that we shouldn't have to do that just to use a word.
She has logged off of discord and hasn't spoken for awhile. I get that she is upset, but I don't see why people shouldn't be allowed to use the word "simp" because it is just a word. Why are we trying to keep words for just certain races? If we did that, lots of words could be restricted.
AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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ranchstoryblog · 29 days
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Ranch Story Community Q&A Volume 3: Igusa Matsuyama Returns!
Igusa Matsuyama, the legendary artist behind the Story of Seasons series since the original 1996 game has once again agreed to a Q&A featuring questions from fans from around the world! A big thank you to all the members of the community who helped make this possible.
Some aspects of the text have been altered to match localization people are familiar with. (Japanese names to English names, for example: Bokujou Monogatari (牧場物語) was formerly localized as Harvest Moon and is now localized as Story of Seasons, etc). Images were not part of the original text and have been added as a visual aid. Though we translated as many questions as we could, we did not include questions involving personal information or regarding unannounced releases. Please understand.
If you would like to read our original correspondence (in Japanese), that will be provided in a separate post.
Additional cosplay photo provided by Foxface from our community Discord.
Translations: @artycharmy (correspondence, outline) Editing and Clean-up: Jerome, @artycharmy, and @regularcelery
——— Anonymous asks: What is the relationship between Jamie and the Harvest Goddess?
Igusa Matsuyama: Jamie was treated as a fairy or spirit. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if there's any points that link them and the Goddess.
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Editor's note: the term Matsuyama uses is "妖精."
Tomato asks: I would like to ask about what their inspiration was for the outfits designs in the original release of harvest moon another wonderful life. Since I got reminded of the girl clothing brand Mezzo Piano when looking at the I love Kuma/I love bears outfit.
Igusa Matsuyama: I remember the only thing I thought of was using Spring-like colours! (All designs were made with seasonal colours In mind) When I knew that Daachan, who was planned to be used in a lot of events, wouldn't actually play a big role in the game, I put him on the T-Shirt so he could at least get some attention as a mascot-like existence.
Pansy asks: If you were able to create your own game for the Story of Seasons franchise, with no rules or limitations whatsoever, what do you think it might look like?
Igusa Mastuyama: Since I love dogs, I'd like to try making a Story of Seasons that's set in a world just full of dogs. Though that dream of mine probably won't come true.
Anonymous asks: The look of Story of Seasons has changed a lot over the years! What would you say is more challenging to create - simple designs, where you have to work with very little space, or complicated designs, where you have to consider many little details?
Igusa Matsuyama: A long time ago there were a lot of things you weren't able to replicate in video games. There were constraints for things like the number of colours and patterns for hair styles and clothes. It was difficult to work around those constraints, but at the same time a lot of fun. Nowadays, it's the complete opposite. Now we can design anything with hardly any constraints. And unlike a long time ago, now I'm asked to make more complicated designs, like patterns and decorations. However, if it's a big request, sometimes I run into quite a lot of trouble when designing. They each have had their own difficulties.
Anonymous asks: Hello, Matsuyama! Thank you for bringing the worlds of Bokujou Monogatari to life for many years. Your art has had a huge influence on me!
One of my favorite candidates is “Rock” from “A Wonderful Life.” I’d love to know any particular influences for his character design from 21 years ago, and his new design for the remake.
Igusa Matsuyama: I was told that he was a young, wannabe playboy, so I somehow ended up with that sort of design. For the remake, I made his clothes a little looser without changing his design, so he'd look even more playful. I, too, wanted to avoid changing him as much as I could as there are other people among the staff that also like the original for his “Rockness”. So, he got that makeover after everybody shared and checked their opinions with each other.
Jerome asks: On page 130 of the "Special Comic" manga there's artwork of Super Famicom characters that have never been printed anywhere else. Do you or Marvelous still have these? It would be great to see them in more detail in the future some time.
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Igusa Matsuyama: They're all characters that appeared in the SNES version of "Harvest Moon." Nina's parents, Ellen's mother, Ann's father, Maria's parents (The mayor couple). I'm sorry. My SNES illustrations have gone missing...
Raven Bloom, Ryan, and Moth ask: How did you feel when your designs for the men in A Wonderful Life were repurposed to be bachelors? What do you think of the changes made to the bachelors in the remake of A Wonderful Life? I miss the “Bruce Campbell” look Matthew used to have.
Igusa Matsuyama: Matthew (マシュー) is Masshu (マッシュ) in the Japanese A Wonderful Life (Editors note: Charmy made a careless mistake when translating the questions, sorry Matsuyama san 🫣) When I first heard this name, the first thing that came to mind was Evil Dead's protagonist, Ash. You're right. I designed him after Bruce Campbell. I still love Bruce Campbell today. When Wonderful Life was under production, I had heard they weren't going to make a girl version, so I designed him not as a love interest, but as a quirky character. Knowing that he'd appear in the remake as a marriage candidate, I redesigned him as a character that would be liked by many. I hope you can enjoy the game for its nostalgia, as well as for being a shiny, brand new release.
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Salmon Axe and Anonymous ask: I personally adore Doraemon x SOS game. Are you interested in working directly with or collaborating with other franchises in the future? And is there a series outside Story of Seasons you would like to work with now as a guest artist? (Could it be Pokemon?)
Igusa Matsuyama: I've loved Doraemon manga since I was a kid! Working as a guest artist? Hmm, I'm happier being the main illustrator, so nothing in particular comes to mind. I enjoy a lot of games in my free time, such as Fallout, Far Cry and Border Lands.
Anonymous asks: Even though we never see his face, was there ever a concept of how Woofio would look without his costume?
Igusa Matsuyama: I designed Woofio as the being that is Woofio, so there's no design of him without his costume.
Idris asks: Your style has upgraded a lot over the time to match the trends. Do you think you will ever go for an old school look (early HM) for a SoS game again? What do you think is the secret to your art’s charm?
Igusa Matsuyama: What I'm particular about when designing for Story of Seasons is making characters with head/body proportions and an atmosphere that go well with that release. First, I listen to the client's request then think of a design according to that. These days, game visuals have gotten fancier and fancier, so there's not many opportunities for characters with short proportions to make an appearance. To me, what's important when designing is "playfulness." More so than "pretty" or "cool" and such, I get attached to the character, have fun making the character. I find joy in character creation itself.
MacGyver asks: Yasuhiro Wada has shared some interesting stories about how chaotic the original game's development was. Is there anything interesting you remember from around that time? 
Igusa Matsuyama: Now it's a memory I can look back on and laugh about, but I'm not sure how much I can talk about it so please forgive me. If Wada hadn't been there back then, then "Harvest Moon" wouldn't have become a thing.
Toyberb and Anonymous ask: There’s a lot of different cow designs now, which is your favorite to draw?
Igusa Matsuyama: I've loved drawing animals since I was a kid, so I love all of the cows. Although the easiest one to draw is the cow with the big nose.
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Anonymous asks: Were there any games where you made designs for protagonists of genders that did not end up available to play as? (Like a girl protagonist for Save the Homeland/Hero of Leaf Valley or a nonbinary protagonist for any game before A Wonderful Life)
Igusa Matsuyama: There's so many designs that got scrapped, but as far as I recall, there's not really many where that character's setting itself was scrapped. (Excluding Thumbelina, mentioned below)
Koharu asks: Were there ever any character designs made for other older SNES characters like Ellen for 64? Some magazines had Marie with blue hair, like the SNES character, so it made me wonder if she (SNES Maria) was meant to also be there at some point.
Igusa Matsuyama: I'm not in the position to make settings or scenarios where characters from other games appear, so I can't say, but I like the idea of older characters making an appearance!
Amina/k0iisu asks: Hello! I really love Hiro’s design specifically. Could you tell me a few facts about him/his design that might not be well known information? Thank you so much! I love your art :D
Igusa Matsuyama: Thank you very much! Hiro is a future doctor, so I tried to make them look as much like a doctor as I could. Also, to make him look friendlier, I designed him as your average everyday boy you'd see in the neighbourhood. He doesn't have a flashy face or hairstyle, but he's one of my favourite designs, too. I wrote this in the guidebook too, but what I like about him is the Asian flair I added to his clothes and the spot of colour around his feet.
Bunbun asks: I'm excited for the Nendoroid that was announced of Claire! I hope there will be ones of HM64 designs too. Since you have a lot of figures on your blog, how does it feel to be able to add one of your own characters to your collection? Are there any of your other characters you hope will get figures of?
Igusa Matsuyama: A nendoroid of Claire! I'm looking forward to it too, but when is it going to be released? If it's possible, I'd like one of Woofio.
Editor's note: Preorders are open for Nendoroid Claire now!
Chickee asks: A purple-haired princess character was rumored to have existed in Harvest Moon 64, but she didn't make it to the published game. Did you create a design for this character?
Igusa Matsuyama: That's probably Princess Thumbelina. Wasn't she Incredibly small? What I designed didn't end up being used. Speaking of HM64 characters, I pushed for them to include a pet turtle, but in the end it only appeared as an ornament. For A Wonderful Life, I asked for a turtle to be included again and designed a tortoise with a scarf, but it didn't make it as a pet and appeared only as a wild turtle that walks around the pond. I'm waiting for the day they finally include a pet turtle in the game.
emery flower147 asks: omg  I saw the pics where the AWL girls are in a team and Muffy has a shotgun and stuff? Do you think any other characters would work in a cool team like that?
Igusa Matsuyama: For the Friends of Mineral Town guide book, I had the five girls, Popuri, Marie, Ran, Elly and Karen work hard as Harvest Sprites. Also, for the guide books, I drew Pete (The old male protagonist), Sarah (The GB version female protagonist), and Claire doing whatever I wanted them to. I don't know if you can call it cool or not, but it was fun being in charge of that.
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Ixur asks: A lot of the PoOT character designs for the regular villagers seem more popular than the marriage candidates in my region. Is that something that's been noticed by you/Marvelous in Japan? Lars, Clemens, Beth, and Misaki for example.
Igusa Matsuyama: Marvelous doesn't really talk about that sort of thing so I'm not sure if they're aware of it or not. I don't do social media so I'm also not sure which characters are popular. I'm happy as long as the characters are liked. The design on Lars’s shirt is modeled after my beloved dog, so I’d be especially happy if you like his shirt too.
Anonymous asks: What do you think about people cosplaying your designs?
Igusa Matsuyama: It makes me very happy! I'm no good at sewing, so I really admire people who can make their own clothes. It's an honour having the designs I made be made into real clothes, and I think it's great to have fun acting out the characters.
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Afro Fae asks: When creating designs for characters, how do you settle on a specific color palette? Do you take color meanings into account with a character's personality or do you go purely off of feeling?
Igusa Matsuyama: I keep in mind the overall colours the client asked for while designing. Sometimes I propose a new colour when I think there's one that fits better. I'm also careful when choosing colours and everyone's traits to make sure it's easy to tell which character is which when seen from a distance. However, in the cases of families and such, I do the opposite and give them all a common colour to give them a sense of kinship.
———
From all of us at Ranch Story, we'd like to thank Matsuyama from the bottom of our hearts for answering our questions again! Whether a fan has only just discovered the series or has grown up alongside it, so many people have loved these characters and worlds that Igusa Matsuyama brings to life, so it feels truly special to be able to have this opportunity. We'll end this article with Matsuyama's own words, as well as a parting gift.
Igusa Matsuyama: I'm so glad I could answer your questions again. I'm the one that should be saying thank you. It means the world to me knowing that everyone enjoys my illustrations! I added an illustration as thanks. I'll keep up the hard work!
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ash-rigby · 5 months
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I'm doing a raffle where 3 winners get to request a story from me.
I’ll be taking submissions until January 9th and will draw names on the 10th.
Please read all the below information before entering.
Basic Rules/How To Enter:
You must be a follower of this blog.
You must have your age/age range in your bio and be 21 or older (there are personal comfort reasons for that age minimum; sorry 18-20 folks). I won't accept "I'm not comfortable showing my age but I swear I'm 21+".
Reply to this post, send a non-anonymous ask, or DM me to say you want to enter the raffle. Only do this once; spamming will get your name taken off the list and you may get blocked if it's severe enough.
Don't send your request at this time. We'll talk about what you want if you win.
Once I draw the winners, I’ll make a public post listing them and they’ll be contacted via DM (we can move over to Discord at that point if you would prefer). I ask that winners respond to the DM within a week’s time or I may assume you’ve ghosted and draw another person in your place (so if you’ve entered and aren't one to check tumblr every day, just make sure you take a peek over here sometime between the 10th and 17th in case you've won).
The stories won't be worked on at the same time. They will be completed and posted in the draw order of the names. You're basically winning the ability to choose the direction of my next three stories.
If this goes well (i.e. there's enough interest), I will likely run similar raffles in the future!
My DMs and inbox are open for any questions.
Things to Consider:
Requests are required to follow my guidelines of what I do and do not write about. Please familiarize yourself with them; particularly the "don'ts"
I won't be accepting requests for stories involving your OCs. This will be available through paid commissions when I start taking them.
I also prefer to keep my erotica in the realm of original fiction, so I won't be accepting requests for fanfiction.
Requests can be for reader inserts rather than the 3rd person POV of my typical work. I'll be using the 2nd person method ("you", "your" etc.) due to personal gripes with ''y/n''.
In case it wasn't obvious, requests will remain oneshot short stories, so don't expect that I'll write a multi-chapter slowburn for you for free.
Any requests for groups can't exceed threesomes.
You can request monster/monster stories that exclude a human character entirely.
You can request stories involving characters of mine. They can be continuations of existing works or new ones entirely. I'm happy to write about any one of them.
Also Note:
I value my time, effort, and mental well-being. If you start acting belligerent or entitled during our correspondence, I hold the right to reject your request, potentially block you, and pick someone else. General rule of thumb: be respectful and patient 💜
Good luck, and thank you!
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michaela-o · 19 days
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Hello guys.❤️
I just wanted to update you on why i'm not really active anywhere, discord, tumblr nowhere, is because i'm going through a very hard and toxic break-up right now..
WARNING: Toxicity, Attempt of se**al a**ult, gaslighting ( if you feel uncomfortable reading about this please don't read )
Sadly, to realize all of this toxicity, took me 2 years because i was too blinded by love and the desire to feel loved, apreciated and i was blinded by trying so hard to see the best in that one person...
Only NOW i realized what everything i let him do to me without me even knowing about it...i was letting him get control over me, i was letting him guilt trip me, i was letting him gaslight me, i was letting him make me feel like my body wasn't even mine, i was letting him make me believe that having emotions is bad, i fucking letting him make me believe that everything THIS was okay..that i deserve to be treated that way...that i deserve to be left alone when i cry too much..
He would always get upset if i told him i was going out with friends through the weekend when i came back from the dorms, he would get upset and leave to go home if i cried for a little longer than he liked, he would get upset when i told him that i would like to change stuff in our releationship, he really had no friends ( which i felt bad for but was not my problem but i was willing to help him out ) to go out with and when i told him i'd like to go for a walk when was pretty outside he'd say he thought we would be together and not wasting time outside..
Even after all this HE told ME that I'M the toxic one..that when i expressed what i think is wrong, when i told him what bothered me about him, he said that i was using my emotions to controll him..
But now i will set my foot down and i will no longer tolerate ANY of this and i will stand on my spot. I told him that if his behaviour continued things won't be looking okay with our releationship. He started to cry and tell me that i'm scaring him, that i know where his weak spots are, that this isn't me, asking me if he's really that bad to deserve those words..he tried to force me to take it back..that we would stay together forever..(god that fucking stings..)
But not anymore..
BIG thank you goes to my dear roommates at dorms and friends Lea, Silvia, Emma, Adrian and another Lea. These are people that have stayed by my side the WHOLE time even if i cried a bit too much. Even when i talked a lot. I owe them so so much. These people have helped me to finally open my eyes and to finally see my own worth...i'm very hurting right now because i really loved him and i know he loved me aswell but he was NOT self aware and was not going to admit and acknowledge his mistakes..and saying sorry for only the sake of peace? And then doing it again?.. it is not my responsibility to explain that to him..i think i was doing that for long enough..
Thank you if you made it all the way down here❤️ and lissening to my story. I apologize for the inactivity but i'm feeling very stressed, scared and lost right now..he wants to meet eith me today but i just don't want to..i need time..this wound is very fresh and bloody and i think it's going to be healing for a long time..
Thank you again❤️
- Michaela-o
(P.S. sorry for the tags)
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maleyhae · 8 months
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YOUR IN HER DMS I'M IN HER BED WE ARE NOT THE SAME b.k x fem!reader
2023! Bill x reader
summary- some desprate dude is in your dms and bill is make fun of it i guess irdk
warnings- jealousy! bill maybe cussing a weirdo that keeps trying with you, grammar issues, rushed like always, not proofread
yesterdays post
i don't consent to my work being copied, translated, or posted on any other website thank you <3
a/n- wasn't gonna make then i saw a moots (@toikohotelslut post about how she needed more 2023 bill fics :3
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3RD POV:
___ phone keep going off as they were trying to watch a movie Bill was getting annoyed because his girlfriend's phone was blowing up. He knew since April of this year they gain some more fame from Tik Tok but holy hell. Both his band and the band she was in. Some people found her hot since she was gothic guitarist and he understood but holy hell. "My love can you check my phone I don't want to and because I don't won't you thinking I'm doing something wrong." she said. "What was the password again honey..?" "(the day y'all got together)" ___ said.
100 fucking Instagram messages, 200 mentions of this fucker calling her his girlfriend. Bill checked the messages.
"___ I'm a huge fan please respond.!!"
"I'd be a better boyfriend than him." how dare he bill though.
*image sent* just a edit and say how horny he got because of her.
"*dick pics*" God this man did not stop.
"Whatever you're not all that anymore god what I'd do to get in you back from the 2000s." perverted and a asshole.
BILLS POV:
"Hey dove want a take a picture together?" "Yeah babe I'd love to!" she said bubbly a whole different person she was form when she was only 15 in the same year that disgusting perverted pig wanted to fuck her in. Me and her style has changed from emo/ gothic to whatever people called our style now. We got done take a picture I sent it with a caption of "you're in her dms and I'm in her bed so clearly I'm better than you=)" petty? yes worth it? oh hell yes.
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A/N: Hi again sorry this is short i didn't really have i deas for it this tbh but life update because why not! im reading agggtm talking to a new dude and if you have ideas please let me know you can dm me here or on discord my @ is @v4mpgirly !! i hope you enoyed
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