#i won’t be able to sleep

[meaningtotellyou]

i wish i could draw. there’s a tattoo idea in my head

#i won’t be able to SLEEP

[iheartaris]

okay so i want to crochet myself a kindle sleeve and i want it to be bookish/marauders themed but i have no idea what to do bc i also kinda wanna tapestry (?) as well

someone help

#aris’ rambles #i’m gonna cry #i was gonna do a ‘this is my emotional support kindle’ tapestry but stitch fiddle is being stupid #so help #gimme ideas #pls #i won’t be able to sleep #also kinda want the marauders theme to be subtle as well? #like something someone who isn’t in the fandom wouldn’t get

[ineffabeatlemindpalace]

Genuinely where would I be without my hot water bottle, clinging to it every night in bed. For I do love cold fresh air.

#but really the dependency is strong #i won’t be able to sleep #yet the window remains open #this started a few winters ago

[meathounding]

reminds me i gotta put up my aot posters

#heheheh #i won’t be able to sleep #i’ll be staring at them all night

[mossytrashcan]

The horrors are relentless

#If I drink coffee I get super anxious #but if I don’t drink coffee I’m super fatigued #but also because I drank coffee at noon #I won’t be able to sleep #which means the epilepsy will strike #which means my already crumbling body will be violently shaking #why do I do this #how have I even managed to survive for 18 years #I don’t even want to be alive

[karamamazov]

i watched like 5 episodes of breaking bad today my brain is disintegrating

#i won’t be able to sleep #give me peace leave jesse alone #i just want him to be fine #pls

[why-the-heck-not]

19.09.23, tuesday

tired !! but nOT SLEEPY damnit

things done today:

2h lecture

4h of coding

#but i should be sleepy bc it’s 8pm and i’m trying to go to sleep early #but I also would need an evening walk to reset my brain I think #but im tired #but if I won’t go I might not be able to rly sleep too well #but !! i am !! tireddd !! #and i dont want to go !!!!! #studyblr #bookblr #booklr #aesthetic #books #study #reading #read #book #studyspo #dark academia #september 2023 #2023

[whipbogard]

Quick self-soothing doodle 🥲

#or I won’t be able to sleep lolll it’s almost 2am #heart acheyyyyy #😭😭😭😭😭 #harvey deserves a big hug tbh #wppyart #bruharvey

[maythegeekbewithyou]

Everyone: SEASON 8 HERE WE GOOO

Me: oh shit we're getting an angsty cliffhanger.

#911 spoilers #911 #911 on abc #911 abc #911 season 7 #911 speculation #I won’t be able to sleep all summer

[napping-sapphic]

Obviously I’d want them to do whatever makes them happiest but part of me really does hope that if i ever get married that my spouse takes my last name, not because it’s traditional or whatever but because i just really want to take my own name back and actually form a family that i love and that loves me in return out of it. I want to overshadow my past and reclaim my identity and share it with you, i want us to be so intricately tied together in every possible way i want to make a little family of just you and me where there’s so so so much love, just as families are supposed to be

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #idk if it’ll ever happen but i do really hope i get to get married one day #i want to be part of a good family that makes me happy #i want to give that to someone else #i want it to be me and you and any pets and i want it to be more than enough for both of us #i hate that i won’t ever really be able to give a partner close or loving in laws #but i hope that someday just me and my lonesome will be enough for them #sorry it’s 4 am and im being sappy and sad and wistful #back to sleep again😴😴 #before i make any more WAY too revealing posts lol #im gay and i like sleeping

[pacifistcowboy]

could you imagine when silver first gets a crush on espio he doesn’t know what the feeling is but it’s so strong that he ends up concluding that he must be getting some sort of precognition related to espio and that he needs to kill him to save the future

he’s ranting to people about how he has this really strong feeling about espio so he’s got to get him which will make all the thoughts and feelings about him go away, whilst everyone around him is desperately trying to make silver realise he’s just got a crush on espio and he absolutely does not need to kill him

#cannot sleep so Woe Weird Espilver Thought Be Upon Ye #is this too weird? too murdery? silver’s kinda a murdery guy so like? idk? #he wouldn’t be able to go through with it dw. he totally thinks he’ll be able to up until actually facing espio when he’ll just freeze #n he’s just like “i can’t kill this guy!! i like him too much!!” but he STILL won’t realise what his feelings actually are #silver the hedgehog #espio the chameleon #espilver

[restinthewest]

I love this pointy overly intense creature so much

#I was trying to describe hallow to someone who has never met her and doesn’t know much about her #and I was like: #oh she kind of doesn’t like strangers but she will be your best friend once she’s known you for five minutes #no you probably won’t be able to pet her much l #not like that she’s not mean she’s just not that into it and she will squirm away #but also she will 100% be all up in your space #but also she will ignore you maybe #and she’s such a good dog omg she’s actually pretty quiet for a GSD #except when she’s not and she’s screaming #she is kind of a wild child… she’s spazzy and has so much energy! but also she just sleeps and free roams in the house with no issues #she’s the happiest dog ever #but oh that’s right she does get really angry about some things #basically to sum hallow up: she is- except when she isn’t lol

[elcucurucho]

happy midnight everyone I am unwell about qcellbit here’s the essay

I’d argue one of qcellbit’s most defining character traits is his inability to stay passive in a situation. The first thing he did on the island was try to solve the mystery of why they were there so they could escape, and then that shifted to investigating and fighting the federation when it became clear they were a threat to him and his family. A problem comes up, and he takes it upon himself to find a solution.

And that trait has consequences. If he knows a problem exists, he can’t just leave it alone. A lot of the time, he isn’t addressing problems to solve an end game moral goal, or really any goal at all. The idea of a puzzle existing is enough of a reason to try and solve it. It’s just how he operates. He needs to know, and understand, at any cost. Which has fucked him over, time and time again. He’s played directly into the hands of his enemies because he can’t just leave an unsolved mystery alone.

Looking back, I don’t think ambitious is the right word, but he’s been very consistently motivated. Goal oriented. He’s ended up in leadership positions many times, because he doesn’t wait for other people to address problems. He doesn’t rely on others much at all. He’s consistently put himself in tough positions that he wouldn’t put anyone else into, taken risks with his own life and safety so other people won’t. It’s like a very simple flowchart: if I don’t do it, no one will. And if they do, they shouldn’t have had to. It doesn’t even cross his mind that he shouldn’t have to either, because the mission always comes before his personal wellbeing. His life is very low on his list of priorities. He doesn’t think he’s worth much, he doesn’t think people really care about him.

I don’t think that particular mess of insecurity started when he remembered his past, but it definitely didn’t help. His past actions served as more motivation to justify self sacrificial tendencies that already existed. Maybe people care about him now, but if they knew what he was really like, they wouldn’t stay. And he wouldn’t expect them to. More reason for him to be the one to put himself in danger, because he believes it wouldn’t be a loss. It might even be a good thing. Interestingly enough, the concept of simply not putting himself in these situations never even enters the equation. He’s completely convinced that someone has to act. Inaction is not an option.

We’ve seen it most in situations where inaction is demanded of him, first, during the abueloier situation when he tried figuring out necromancy during the period when roier asked for time. And then, most recently when the eggs were missing, and he began killing federation workers. Morality didn’t matter because he already considered himself permanently a monster for his past actions, so returning to violence wouldn’t stain him further. With no answers and no path forward, he took it on himself to make one, because the other option was continue to do nothing; which again, is simply not an option to him.

So what happens when such an active character is confronted with a situation where he personally can do nothing? Where his very inability to act is thrown back in his face? Well, his first instinct is always to try and find a way to act anyway, like in the examples above. The next step is absolute and utter despair. qcellbit isn’t in the business of giving up, almost by definition. It’s almost physically impossible for him. This is a character that’s built his entire sense of self around how useful he is to the cause he is working towards. You put him in a situation where he is truly useless, and he falls apart. Which brings us to where we are now.

It’s been a long road to get here. There have been a lot of small defeats that have led to the despair that seems to passively leak out from qcellbit. The employee of the month spectacle was absolutely devastating to his psyche. And then he got up and immediately started trying to trick the feds again, because he couldn’t just do nothing. He never really got over it, though, he just moved on, because how he feels has never been a priority. The eggs disappear, it’s the same story. He tries, and he tries some more, and none of it works. He learns he has a sister and they lived on the island, making him question if there was ever a point in fighting to leave. He gets the smallest victory over the feds during the mini me event and feels nothing. Because it’s been so drilled in that nothing he do will change anything or have any effect. There’s nothing he can do. And if there’s nothing he can do, then what’s the point of any of it? He has to become the person that can do something, at any cost. It’s the only use he feels he has. Purgatory happens, it’s out of his control and he can do nothing, so he becomes what his team needs. He has to do SOMETHING useful. And at the end of it all, he watches his egg presumably die anyway. So what’s the point of him? qcellbit with no goals, no objective, is exactly what we saw coming out of purgatory and in the tenuously canon purgatory 2 scenes. He doesn’t know how to live for himself.

And now we’re back to quesadilla island. And his egg is back and roier is (as far as he knows) back. And he’s empty. He sees cucurucho and he feels nothing. He has nothing to fight for, nothing to investigate, he’s convinced everyone he loves, everyone who is his literal reason for living was genuinely better off without him. Maybe purgatory was him at his lowest, but we’re still basically there. This is not a character that’s doing better. This is a guy who’s plateaued just above rock bottom and needs to rebuild his sense of self from the ground up.

#cellbit #this is basically a big ramble but I have to exorcise some of this or I won’t be able to sleep #he made this character in a lab for me to go insane over. so really im just doing my job #when I say I can go on. there’s like three other bits I could’ve written about but I tried to keep this somewhat on topic #but who knows. I’ll probably elaborate eventually

[httpiastri]

Found his thigh https://x.com/paularonteam/status/1754693386416570612?s=61&t=FgbmwlE3YsUTS5G7y_pSGQ 🤍 imagine riding it

was gonna say like “yeah well your thigh definitely made my day” but it’s not very small 😵😵😵

#he has pretty thighs imo #looking very very comfortable #i can volunteer to test out sitting on them !! it’s fine guys I can sacrifice myself to doing it #🫶🫶🫶 #okay but no yes imagine riding them #fuuuuuck that would be so hot #with his big hands on your hips guiding you- #i can’t think about this too much because i won’t be able to sleep #thank you for finding the pic 🤭🤭🤭 #asks! #anon! #white heart anon! #🤍!

[tennessoui]

about to get my wisdom teeth out which really feels like a rite of passage I should have had years ago when I could miss school and my parents would make me mushy nutritious food and pick me up and sign all the forms for me instead of being all grown up and stopping by Whole Foods on the way home to purchase applesauce before going back to work armed with gauze pads and Advil ☠️

#kit to kit #my holiday season has not been great so far #but it can only #get better from here! #im not being put to sleep so technically I’ll be in pain but still able to do all these things #like shop and then work #because I won’t be loopy #👶👶👶 #dc dentists are sadists no one wants to put me out 😮‍💨 #they just want my dental anxiety to paralyze me into place #loopy kit would have been a fun time we would have loved loopy kit

[foldingfittedsheets]

Okay start to my birthday with Leeloo laying on my face and purring. Makes waking up a little easier.

#ramblies #I woke up a little too early but I won’t be able to sleep more